Editing Episode Transcript: Shanghaied

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|[[Episode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath|Gary Takes A Bath]]
 
|[[Episode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath|Gary Takes A Bath]]
 
|}
 
|}
 
 
Episode Article: [[Shanghaied (Episode)|Shanghaied]]
 
Episode Article: [[Shanghaied (Episode)|Shanghaied]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
 +
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
Line 16: Line 16:
 
*[[Flying Dutchman]]
 
*[[Flying Dutchman]]
 
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
 
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]  
+
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
 
*[[Billy]]
 
*[[Billy]]
*[[French Narrator]]
+
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
(camera pans over live-action houses)
+
SpongeBob: (eating [[Kelp-O]] cereal) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside! (checks in the cereal box but then a giant anchor comes crashing through SpongeBob's house)  
  
'''French Narrator''': And now, it's time for Patchy's Pick. (the words "Patchy's Pick" appears. The exterior of Patchy's house is shown) Hosted by: SpongeBob's number one fan, Patchy the Pirate!  
+
SpongeBob: (runs out to Squidward) Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward! (Squidward pokes his head through his window) Squidward! The sky had a baby!<br>
  
'''Patchy''': (opens door) Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to Patchy's Pick! Why don't come on back on the galley? I'm cooking up a little treat for you today. (cut to him walking near a red curtain with a sign reading "Shanghaied") We're gonna see me favorite show Shanghaied! Ta-da! (cut to Potty, a puppet bird)
+
Squidward: That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! (Patrick comes over)<br>
  
'''Potty''': Boring!
+
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!
  
'''Patchy''': Well, if it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hi to the nice people!  
+
SpongeBob: I know! What do you think we should name it?<br>
  
'''Potty''': Squawk! I'm being held here against my will! Help!
+
Patrick: How about....<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Where'd you go? Potty, are you in here, buddy? Potty? Potty? (cut to reveal that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window)
+
Squidward: Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away! (anchor crashes into Squidward’s
 +
house) Now look what you've done!<br>
  
'''Potty''': (laughing and squawking) Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.
+
SpongeBob: We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean! (SpongeBob & Patrick show their spotless hands)<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! (the cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast) Well, roll the cartoon! (screen fades to black. Episode starts)
+
Patrick: Clean....<br>
  
===The Original/DVD Version===
+
Squidward: (on top of his house) Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing.<br>
'''French Narrator''': Ahoy kids! It's time for ''SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special''!
+
  
'''Pirates''': Hooray!
+
SpongeBob: Wouldn't that be the top? (Squidward starts to climb rope)<br>
  
'''French Narrator''': And now, the host of ''You Wish''. He's got puffier pantaloons than Captain Kidd, and fuzzier facial hair than Blackbeard. He's America's favorite Pirate, Patchy of Encino!
+
SpongeBob: Squid, wait! Wait!<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to me quarters! Why don't come on back on the galley? I'm cooking up a little treat for you today. It's called in-a-vote time! You get to choose how our cartoon is today, via the phone, or the Internet if you're technologically inclined. Now this cartoon is different from most cartoons in that- (Potty walks up to Patchy)
+
Patrick: Squidward! (SpongeBob & Patrick start climbing rope also)<br>
  
'''Potty''': Bawk, in what way?
+
Narrator: A few inches later...<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Well, if it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hi to the nice people!  
+
SpongeBob: (points up) Ship!<br>
  
'''Potty''': Squawk! I'm being held here against my will! Help!
+
Patrick: SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Were'd you go? Potty, are you in here, buddy? Potty? Potty? (camera reveals that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window]
+
SpongeBob: No, look, a giant ship!<br>
  
'''Potty''': (laughing and squawking) Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.  
+
Squidward: Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind.<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! (the cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast) Now, what was I saying? (Patchy walks to his desk with so many phones and sits down) Now, this cartoon ain't like most of your "land-lubbing cartoons". This cartoon has not one, not two, but three different endings! So, when I tell you to, call the number that's scrolling down there at the bottom of the screen: 1 (800) 624-4094 or go to Nick.com. ("1 (800) 624-4094" appears on the bottom of the screen [in the First 100 Episodes version, it says "Yikes matey! Original 800 number as aired has been retired to Davy Jones locker!" instead]. Phone starts ringing. Patchy picks up phone) No, not now! Don't call till I tell you to! Roll the cartoon! Now, remember to vote at the end because- (More phones start to ring) You're not gonna make this easy, are ya? Quiet! I'm not there! Belate that ringing! Stop! It's driving me mad!
+
SpongeBob: I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it.<br>
  
===The Main Story===
+
Squidward: That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right
'''SpongeBob''': (yawns) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside! (checks in the cereal box but then a giant anchor comes crashing through SpongeBob's house) Holy shrimp! (runs out to Squidward) Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward! (Squidward pokes his head through his window) Squidward! The sky had a baby!
+
place.<br>
  
'''Squidward''': That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! (Patrick comes over)
+
SpongeBob: Squid, wait! (all 3 reach the top)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!
+
Squidward: All right, who owns this crate? (notices a door that says "owner" and begins to knock on it) Come on out! I
 +
wanna file a complaint! (SpongeBob looks around the ship)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': I know! What do you think we should name it?
+
SpongeBob: Doesn't this place seem familiar?<br>
  
'''Patrick''': How about....
+
Patrick: I don't know. Why?<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away! (anchor crashes into Squidward’s house) Now look what you've done!
+
SpongeBob: I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell? (Squidward rings the doorbell)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean! (SpongeBob & Patrick show their spotless hands)
+
Patrick: Yes!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Clean...
+
SpongeBob: I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name. (SpongeBob walks by a barrel that says "property of
 +
the flying Dutchman")<br>
  
'''Squidward''': (on top of his house) Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing.
+
Flying Dutchman: Rawr!!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Wouldn't that be the top? (Squidward starts to climb a rope) Squid, wait! Wait!
+
SpongeBob: No, no, it's not "rawr!"<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Squidward! (SpongeBob & Patrick start climbing the rope also. Time card appears)
+
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!<br>
  
'''French Narrator''': A few inches later...
+
SpongeBob: That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': (points up) Ship!
+
Flying Dutchman: Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?<br>
  
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?
+
SpongeBob: It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you. (Flying Dutchman gives an evil look to Squidward)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': No, look, a giant ship!
+
Squidward: I....no, I don't.<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind.
+
SpongeBob: Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it.
+
Squidward: I never said that.<br>
  
'''Squidward''': That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right place.
+
Flying Dutchman: Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Squid, wait! (all 3 reach the top)
+
SpongeBob: No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship. (shoots fire out his nose frying up Squidward)
 +
<br>
  
'''Squidward''': All right, who owns this crate? (notices a door that says "owner" and begins to knock on it) Come on out! I
+
Squidward: Ahh! Ow.<br>
wanna file a complaint! (SpongeBob looks around the ship)
+
  
'''SpongeBob''': Doesn't this place seem familiar?
+
Flying Dutchman: (looks over to SpongeBob & Patrick) You're next!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': I don't know. Why?
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: (jumps off the ship) That was a close one! (land back on the ship)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell? (Squidward rings the doorbell)
+
Flying Dutchman: Welcome back!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Yes!
+
SpongeBob: (jumps off the ship) That was a closer one! (land back on the ship)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name. (SpongeBob walks by a barrel that says "property of
+
Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! (SpongeBob & Patrick jump off the ship)<br>
the flying Dutchman")
+
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Rawr!!
+
Squidward: Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's.... (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward while SpongeBob & Patrick land back on the ship)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': No, no, it's not "rawr!"
+
Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again?<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': I am the Flying Dutchman!
+
Patrick: Probably. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!
+
Flying Dutchman: How 'bout now?<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?
+
Patrick: Uhh...<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you. (Flying Dutchman gives an evil look to Squidward)
+
Squidward: (covers Patrick's mouth with tentacle) No, no, they're not. Whew. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)<br>
  
'''Squidward''': I... no, I don't.
+
Flying Dutchman: Now listen. (takes out a "Ghost Rule Book") Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited
 +
or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever! (closes rule book) And, uhh (opens rule book), ever.  
 +
(closes rule book)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?
+
Squidward: Will we be getting business cards? (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)<br>
  
'''Squidward''': I never said that.
+
Flying Dutchman: Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind-
 +
numbing, and repetitive. Just like...daytime television.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother.
+
Squidward: Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're
 +
crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting! (shows a green jockstrap) Whoever told you that having oil lamps next
 +
to hardwood paneling was a good idea... (Dutchman picks up Squidward) Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...
 +
(Flying Dutchman unzips something in mid-air) Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? (Flying
 +
Dutchman tosses Squidward into the Fly Of Despair)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship. (Flying Dutchman shoots fire out his nose, frying up Squidward)
+
Flying Dutchman: (closes Fly of Despair) Would anyone else like to enter the "Fly of Despair"?<br>
  
'''Squidward''': (screams) Ow.
+
SpongeBob: No! We know our place now, Mr. Dutchman.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': (looks over to SpongeBob and Patrick) You're next!
+
Patrick: We'll do anything you say!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': (both jump off the ship) That was a close one! (they land back on the ship)
+
Flying Dutchman: Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck! (hands them a broom and a bucket)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Welcome back!
+
SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': (jumps off the ship with Patrick) That was a closer one! (they land back on the ship again)
+
Patrick: And I got this hat!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Welcome back! (SpongeBob & Patrick jump off the ship)
+
Flying Dutchman: Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to
 +
look good and scary!<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's... (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward while SpongeBob & Patrick land back on the ship)
+
SpongeBob: You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably...<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': So, are you gonna try that again?
+
Patrick: No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Probably. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)
+
SpongeBob: Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': How 'bout now?
+
Patrick: I don't get it.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Uhh...
+
SpongeBob: Look, it's easy, it simply means that...<br>
  
'''Squidward''': (covers Patrick's mouth with tentacle) No, no, they're not. Whew. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)
+
Flying Dutchman: Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings
 +
and bugs in the sink.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Now listen. (takes out a "Ghost Rule Book") Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited
+
SpongeBob: So, you don't want it to look good?<br>
or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever! (closes rule book) And, uhh (opens rule book), ever. (closes rule book)
+
  
'''Squidward''': Will we be getting business cards? (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward)
+
Flying Dutchman: Get moving! (SpongeBob & Patrick start mopping)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like...daytime television.
+
Flying Dutchman: What a night be this! Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablaze with fear! (howls like  
 +
a wolf)<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're
+
SpongeBob: Ahh!<br>
crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting! (a green jockstrap is shown) Whoever told you that having oil lamps next
+
to hardwood paneling was a good idea... (Flying Dutchman picks up Squidward) Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...
+
(Flying Dutchman unzips something in mid-air) Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? (Flying Dutchman tosses Squidward into the zipper, which is revealed to be the [[The Fly of Despair|Fly of Despair]]. Squidward is sent falling through the nightmare-ish realms within the Fly of Despair, while SpongeBob and Patrick watch in horror)
+
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': (closes Fly of Despair) Would anyone else like to enter the "Fly of Despair"?
+
Patrick: Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': No! We know our place now, Mr. Dutchman.
+
Flying Dutchman: (howls like a wolf)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': We'll do anything you say!
+
SpongeBob: Ahh!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck! (hands them a broom and a bucket)
+
Patrick: Leedle-eedle-eedle-lee! (Flying Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop!
+
 
+
'''Patrick''': And I got this hat!
+
 
+
'''Flying Dutchman''': Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good and scary!
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably...
+
 
+
'''Patrick''': No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good!
+
 
+
'''Patrick''': I don't get it.
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': Look, it's easy, it simply means that...
+
 
+
'''Flying Dutchman''': Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings
+
and bugs in the sink.
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': So, you don't want it to look good?
+
 
+
'''Flying Dutchman''': Get moving! (SpongeBob and Patrick start mopping) What a night be this! Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablaze with fear! (howls like a wolf)
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ahh!
+
 
+
'''Patrick''': Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee! (Flying Dutchman howls like a wolf)
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ahh!
+
 
+
'''Patrick''': Leedle-eedle-eedle-lee! (Flying Dutchman is about to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-
+
 
eedle-eedle! (Flying Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! (Flying  
 
eedle-eedle! (Flying Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! (Flying  
Dutchman is about to howl again but Patrick cuts him off again) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!
+
Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our  
+
Flying Dutchman: Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our  
first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!
+
first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Let's see who we can find. (spins telescope on ground) Captain, there's a guy we can scare. (telescope points to a big tough guy. The Flying Dutchman stares wide-eyed and nervously blows on the telescope, spinning it a little to land on a little kid)
+
SpongeBob: Let's see who we can find. (spins telescope on ground) Captain, there's a guy we can scare. (telescope points to  
 +
a big tough guy then Flying Dutchman blows on the telescope spinning it a little to land on a little kid)<br>
  
'''Billy''': I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three.
+
Billy: I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks.
+
Flying Dutchman: Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Moving behind the rocks! (ship moves scratches and tears up through the rocky parts of the sea)
+
Patrick: Moving behind the rocks! (ship moves scratches and tears up through the rocky parts of the sea)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Captain, we'll buff out those  
+
SpongeBob: Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Captain, we'll buff out those  
scratches.
+
scratches.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. (Flying Dutchman scares Billy from behind a rock) Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (points to SpongeBob and Patrick who just get confused)
+
Flying Dutchman: All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. (Flying Dutchman scares Billy from behind  
 +
a rock)
  
'''SpongeBob''': Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again.
+
Flying Dutchman: Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (points to SpongeBob &
 +
Patrick who just get confused)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (SpongeBob and Patrick come out and SpongeBob does a little trick with his fingers)
+
SpongeBob: Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': How does he do that?
+
Flying Dutchman: With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (SpongeBob & Patrick come out and SpongeBob does a
 +
little trick with his fingers)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Get back on the ship.
+
Patrick: How does he do that?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': It's still a mystery.
+
Flying Dutchman: Get back on the ship.<br>
  
'''Billy''': Those guys are dorks.
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: It's still a mystery.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Yes, but they're my dorks. (goes back to showing SpongeBob & Patrick steering through the rocks tearing up the ship)
+
Billy: Those guys are dorks.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while SpongeBob and Patrick do stupid tricks. Later, the ship is still getting wrecked) You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while SpongeBob and Patrick do stupid tricks. Later the ship is ''still'' getting wrecked) You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman scares another citizen while SpongeBob and Patrick figure-skate in purple tights. Back on the ship) Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?
+
Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks. (goes back to showing SpongeBob & Patrick steering through the rocks tearing up the ship)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Maybe he's gonna give us a reward!
+
SpongeBob: You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while
 +
SpongeBob & Patrick do stupid tricks. Later shown the ship is still getting wrecked)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Like movie passes?
+
SpongeBob: You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while
 +
SpongeBob & Patrick do stupid tricks. Later shown the ship is still getting wrecked)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Or an oversized coffee mug?! (both start bouncing insanely)
+
SpongeBob: You're good.. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman scares another citizen while SpongeBob & Patrick figure-
 +
skate in purple tights)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': I've been thinking. Stop bouncing! (both stop) This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's
+
(back on the ship)<br>
not really you so much as it is me.
+
  
'''SpongeBob''': You're setting us free?
+
SpongeBob: Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! (SpongeBob and Patrick scream)
+
Patrick: Maybe he's gonna give us a reward!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Wait, I have an idea!
+
SpongeBob: Like movie passes?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Really?! What is it?
+
Patrick: Or an oversized coffee mug?! (both start bouncing insanely)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Let's leave!
+
Flying Dutchman: I've been thinking. Stop bouncing! (both stop) This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's  
 +
not really you so much as it is me.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': But the door is locked and the only way out is through the....perfume department. (points to a room full of
+
SpongeBob: You're setting us free?<br>
perfume and customers)
+
  
'''Patrick''': Let's do it. (they try to run through the department but get sprayed with all sorts of perfume)
+
Flying Dutchman: Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! (SpongeBob & Patrick scream)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': I always hate going in there!
+
Patrick: Wait, I have an idea!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Yeah.
+
SpongeBob: Really?! What is it?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': (hears something strange) Wait! Listen! (Flying Dutchman is in his bedroom)
+
Patrick: Let's leave!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen... (notices sock is gone and pops out in front of SpongeBob and Patrick) Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!
+
SpongeBob: But the door is locked and the only way out is through the....perfume department. (points to a room full of  
 +
perfume and customers)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Never!
+
Patrick: Let's do it. (they try to run through the department but get sprayed with all sorts of perfume)<br>
 +
SpongeBob: I always hate going in there!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': OK, then... (tries to zap SpongeBob but SpongeBob holds up the sock as protection) Give it to me!
+
Patrick: Yeah.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': No!
+
SpongeBob: (hears something strange) Wait! Listen! (Flying Dutchman is in his room)<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Wait, you're stretching out the elastic!
+
Flying Dutchman: Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin
 +
showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me
 +
dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever
 +
happen... (notices sock is gone and pops out in front of SpongeBob & Patrick) Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't
 +
eat without it!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': It would seem we have reached an impass.
+
SpongeBob: Never!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you....three wishes.
+
Flying Dutchman: Ok, then... (tries to zap SpongeBob but SpongeBob holds up the sock as protection) Give it to me!
 +
SpongeBob: No!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Make it five.
+
Flying Dutchman: Wait, you're stretching out the elastic!
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Four.
+
Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impass.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Three. Take it or leave it.
+
Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you....three wishes.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Okay...uhh, three. You get three wishes.
+
Patrick: Make it five.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great?
+
Flying Dutchman: Four.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! (clock goes backwards one minute)
+
Patrick: Three. Take it or leave it.<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Okay, you got two wishes left.
+
Flying Dutchman: Ok...uhh, three. You get three wishes.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this! (falls through a hole in the Fly of Despair and crashes onto his bed)
+
SpongeBob: Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great?<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Boy, I'm glad all that's over! (re-appears on the ship)
+
Patrick: Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! (clock goes backwards one minute)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Squidward! You're back!
+
Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I...guess I just used the second one.
+
SpongeBob: Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this! (falls through a hole in the  
 +
Fly Of Despair and crashes onto his bed)<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess!
+
Squidward: Boy, I'm glad all that's over! (re-appears on the ship)<br>
  
'''Patrick''': (protesting) Wait! I think it belongs to me! (everyone starts to argue)
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward! You're back!<br>
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish. (uses the eeny-meenie-minie-mo method) Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and... (original airing had kids choose which ending they wanted. SpongeBob won first and then they showed the other 2 endings)
 
  
===Voting Segment (Original/First 100 Episodes DVD version only)===
+
SpongeBob: Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I guess I just used the second
'''Voting Guy''': All hands! All hands! Time to vote! It's voting time!
+
one.<br>
  
'''Patchy''': Well, that's our cartoon so far. Now it's time for you to decide how it ends! Who will get the last wish? Will it be Sassy Squidward, Porky Patrick, or Good Ol' SpongeBob? Just dial the number below: 1 (800) 624-4094 or go to Nick.com and tell us who you be choosing. ("1 (800) 624-4094" appears on the bottom of the screen [again, in the First 100 Episodes version it has been changed to "Yikes matey! Original 800 number as aired has been retired to Davy Jones locker!"]) My trusty crew is eagerly awaiting your call. So, hoist your anchor of that couch, and make with the voting! This is your big chance, and we'll be right back to announce...the winner! (commercial break [in the original version, this happens]) That's it, kids! Keep calling! It's almost time! Get those votes in! A-Ha-Ha! WHOO! Democracy! A-Ha-Ha! WHOO! This is Patchy. Please hold. Potty's not here. Well, not yet. A-HA-HA-HA! (after commercial break) Ahoy children, I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls got your votes in, because it’s time for you to walk the plank! (screen reading "PLEASE STAND BY" appears) Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time to announce the winner! (blows horn) But first, let's look at the endings you didn't choose. According to our high tech counter-ology, you didn't choose...Patrick. (an image of Patrick is shown, with a skull in front of him) But, let's see what Patrick would've wished for if you picked him. OK! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the- oh god!
+
Squidward: Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess!  
  
===Patrick's Ending===
+
Patrick: Wait,I think it belongs to me! (everyone starts to argue)<br>
'''Flying Dutchman''': My mother told me to pick the very best one and… (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Patrick)
+
  
'''SpongeBob''': That's you, Patrick. Make your wish.
+
Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish. (uses the eeny-meenie-minie-mo method) Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and... (original airing had kids choose which ending they wanted. SpongeBob won first and then they showed the other 2 endings)
  
'''Patrick''': Uhh...
+
===Patrick's ending===
 +
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Patrick)<br>
 +
SpongeBob: That's you, Patrick. Make your wish.<br>
 +
Patrick: Uhh...<br>
 +
Squidward: Wait, Patrick, listen. I do not particularly feel like being trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time, understand?!<br>
 +
SpongeBob: Patrick, you've got to think harder than you've ever thought before.<br>
 +
Patrick: Uhh...<br>
 +
SpongeBob: That's not gonna do it! Think harder!<br>
 +
Patrick: Uhh... (shown Patrick’s brain which is really a toaster) Okay! I've got it.<br>
 +
Flying Dutchman: Thou wish is granted.<br>
 +
Patrick: (chewing on gum) Oh, I'm sorry. Want some gum?<br>
 +
Squidward: You wished for gum?<br>
 +
Patrick: Well, if we're gonna be here forever, we might as well have fresh breath! (each take a piece of gum. Later, we see Flying Dutchman with a big belly and the 3 characters trying to get out)<br>
 +
Flying Dutchman: Ahh. Minty.
  
'''Squidward''': Wait, Patrick, listen. I do not particularly feel like being trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time, understand?!
+
===Squidward's ending===
 +
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Squidward)<br>
 +
SpongeBob: Squidward, you get a wish! A great big wish!<br>
 +
Squidward: That's right! And you know what I wish?<br>
 +
Patrick: No!<br>
 +
Squidward: I wish that I had never met you two barnacle-heads before in my entire life!<br>
 +
Flying Dutchman: So be it.<br>
 +
SpongeBob: Hi there, I don't believe we've met. My name is SpongeBob, and this is my associate Patrick.<br>
 +
Patrick: Hi.<br>
 +
Squidward: That's not what I meant!<br>
 +
Flying Dutchman: Well, now that introductions are out of the way, it's time for dinner! (Flying Dutchman appears with a big belly)<br>
 +
SpongeBob: And what did you say your name was?<br>
 +
Squidward: I'm Squidward. I'm your neighbor.<br>
 +
SpongeBob: Oh, nice to meet you, Squid-ward. (tries to pronounce it right) We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, I guess. (laughs)
  
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, you've got to think harder than you've ever thought before.
+
===SpongeBob's ending===
 +
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on SpongeBob)<br>
 +
Squidward: Now, think, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?<br>
 +
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because....I wish that the Dutchman was a vegetarian! (Flying Dutchman turns into a vegetarian and SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward re-appear in front of SpongeBob's house but you can only see their heads)<br>
 +
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Hooray!<br>
 +
SpongeBob: We're home!<br>
 +
Patrick: You did it, SpongeBob. We're saved!<br>
 +
Squidward: But why have we been turned into fruits? (their bodies have been turned into fruits and they gasp as they realize they are in a blender)<br>
 +
Flying Dutchman: Hey, I get a wish too. Fruit prevents scurvy! (whistles(SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward scream in fear and bounce away in the blender) Hey, get back here with that! Ha ha! I'll get ya! (Flying Dutchman chases them around the ship, which is now a hippie-themed volkswagen with a main mast)
  
'''Patrick''': Uhh...
+
===Main ending===
 +
Patchy: Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope you all enjoyed the show because it's time for you to walk the plank! (Screen reads: PLEASE STAND BY) Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time for fan mail! (blows horn)<br>
 +
Kids: Hooray!<br>
 +
Patchy: Now, blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter! Thank you, my precious potty.<br>
 +
Potty: Brawk, you're not welcome.<br>
 +
Patchy: Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!<br>
 +
Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! (Potty blows up along with Patchy; Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast)<br>
 +
Patchy: Well, that's it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! (Potty collapses to the floor)
  
'''SpongeBob''': That's not gonna do it! Think harder!<br>
+
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
  
'''Patrick''': Uhh... (Patrick’s brain, which is really a toaster, is shown) Okay! I've got it.
 
  
'''Flying Dutchman''': Thou wish is granted.
 
  
'''Patrick''': (chewing on gum) Oh, I'm sorry. Want some gum?
 
 
'''Squidward''': You wished for gum?
 
 
'''Patrick''': Well, if we're gonna be here forever, we might as well have fresh breath! (each take a piece of gum. Later, we see Flying Dutchman with a big belly)
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': Come on mister, let us out! Don't be so mean! Don't be so fatty!
 
 
'''Patrick''': Aaaah! Let us out!
 
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': Ahh, minty.
 
 
'''Patchy''': Heh heh heh. That Patrick shivers me timbers right down to my peg leg! Ha! ha! ha! You were right not to pick that one kids! Seemed like a lot of nonsense to me! Malarkey! Oh well, let's take a look at the other loser! Heh heh heh! (an image of Squidward is shown, with a skull in front of him) It appears you didn't vote for Squidward! I don't blame you, I wouldn't have either. But, let's see what would happen if the Old Dutchman's Meeny-Miney-Mo finger landed on Squidward!
 
 
===Squidward's Ending===
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Squidward)
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, you get a wish! A great big wish!
 
 
'''Squidward''': That's right! And you know what I wish?
 
 
'''Patrick''': No.
 
 
'''Squidward''': (smiling confidently) I wish that I had never met you two barnacle-heads before in my entire life!
 
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': So be it.
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': Hi there, I don't believe we've met. My name is SpongeBob, and this is my associate Patrick.
 
 
'''Patrick''': Hi.
 
 
'''Squidward''': That's ''not'' what I meant!
 
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': Well, now that introductions are out of the way, it's time for dinner! (grabs out a metal knife and fork)
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': (inside the Flying Dutchman's belly) And what did you say your name was?
 
 
'''Squidward''': (also inside the Flying Dutchman's belly) I'm Squidward. I'm your neighbor.
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, nice to meet you, Squid-ward. (tries to pronounce it right) We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, I guess. (laughs)
 
 
'''Patchy''': And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, So get ready to blow milk out of your nose because it's time to announce...the winner! The envelope please, Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant. Well, what do you know? The winner is...SpongeBob! (a flag is shown with SpongeBob with the words "Winner" on the left side. Patchy sniffs the air) Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!
 
 
'''Potty''': Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! (Potty blows up along with Patchy. Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast)
 
 
'''Patchy''': And now, the most requested ending! Hooray! (Potty collapses to the floor)
 
 
===SpongeBob's Ending===
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on SpongeBob)
 
 
'''Squidward''': Now, think, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because....I wish that the Dutchman was a vegetarian! (Flying Dutchman turns into a vegetarian and SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward re-appear in front of what appears to be SpongeBob's house but you can only see their heads)
 
 
'''SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward''': Hooray!
 
 
'''SpongeBob''': We're home!
 
 
'''Patrick''': You did it, SpongeBob! We're saved!
 
 
'''Squidward''': But why have we been turned into fruits? (their bodies have been turned into fruits and they gasp as they realize they are in a blender)
 
 
'''Flying Dutchman''': Hey, I get a wish too. Fruit prevents scurvy! (he whistles. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward scream in fear and bounce away in the blender) Hey, get back here with that! (Flying Dutchman chases them around the ship, which is now a hippie-themed volkswagen with a main mast)
 
 
===Main Ending===
 
'''Patchy''': Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope you all enjoyed the show, because it's time for you to walk the plank! (screen reading "PLEASE STAND BY" appears) Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time for fan mail! (blows horn)
 
 
'''Pirates''': Hooray!
 
 
'''Patchy''': And now, the moment you've been waiting for, so get ready to blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter! The envelope please, Potty! Thank you, my fine feathered assistant.
 
 
'''Potty''': Brawk, you're not welcome. (Patchy sniffs the air)
 
 
'''Patchy''': Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!
 
 
'''Potty''': Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! (Potty blows up along with Patchy. Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast)
 
 
'''Patchy''': Well, that's it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! (Potty collapses to the floor)
 
 
===Original Ending===
 
'''Patchy''': (sitting at the couch crying) Hold on! Sorry about that, kids! It’s just that old Patchy can't help but get all choked up at the end of a show. But the good news is, when you watch this cartoon land-lubbing style like you usually do, it'll have the ending you picked, so now you're an official big time cartoon decision maker! (cut to a bunch of monkeys at a zoo) Just don't let it go to your head! Well, say good night to the folks, Potty! Potty!
 
 
'''Potty''': Squawk! I quit! I quit!
 
 
'''Patchy''': (growls) Well, that's it folks. Right now, I've got a little "employee management" to take care of. Oh, Potty! Potty, get in your nice cage!
 
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! I don't think so!
 
 
'''French Narrator''': (while they argue) And so, we conclude ''SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special''. Thanks for voting.
 
 
'''Patchy''': Ow!
 
 
{{Timeline}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]

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