Episode Transcript: Funny Pants

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*[[Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
  
(Squidward is sleeping until Spongebob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br>
+
(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br>
  
Spongebob: Oh, Squidward!!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!<br>
  
Squidward: opens his window What do you want, Spongebob?<br>
+
Squidward: opens his window What do you want, SpongeBob?<br>
  
Spongebob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br>
  
Spongebob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and Spongebob walking down the street and Spongebob is  
+
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is  
  
 
laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br>
 
laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br>
Line 31: Line 31:
 
Squidward: It's not that funny.<br>
 
Squidward: It's not that funny.<br>
  
Spongebob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to Spongebob clinging on to Squidwards legs as they walk into  
+
SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into  
 
the Krusty Krab)<br>
 
the Krusty Krab)<br>
  
Squidward: move over. (flicks Spongebob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br>
+
Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br>
  
Spongebob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br>
+
SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br>
  
Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (Spongebob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny!  
+
Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny!  
(slams tray down) Please make it stop! (Spongebob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr Krabs office still laughing.  
+
(slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing.  
Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of Spongebobs laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN'  
+
Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN'  
sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with Spongebob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts  
+
sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts  
the door in Spongebobs face)<br>
+
the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br>
  
Spongebob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br>
  
 
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br>
 
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br>
  
Spongebob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 krabby patties.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 krabby patties.<br>
  
 
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br>
 
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br>
  
  
Spongebob: Another day, another nickel.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.<br>
  
 
Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br>
 
Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br>
  
Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (Spongebob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side  
+
Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side  
and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) Spongebob, you don't look well!<br>
+
and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br>
  
Spongebob: I don't?<br>
+
SpongeBob: I don't?<br>
  
 
Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br>
 
Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br>
  
Spongebob: But...<br>
+
SpongeBob: But...<br>
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in Spongebobs mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up,  
+
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in Spongebobs mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob.
Spongebob.
+
  
Spongebob: I am?<br>
+
SpongeBob: I am?<br>
 
Squidward: Tell me, Spongebob, have your sides been hurting?
 
Squidward: Tell me, Spongebob, have your sides been hurting?
  
Spongebob: Yeah, a little.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.<br>
  
 
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br>
 
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br>
  
Spongebob: Is that bad?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Is that bad?<br>
  
 
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br>
 
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br>
  
Spongebob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br>
  
Squidward: (gasps) Spongebob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br>
+
Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br>
  
Spongebob: My laugh box?<br>
+
SpongeBob: My laugh box?<br>
 
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it  
 
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it  
 
burns out and you can never laugh again.<br>
 
burns out and you can never laugh again.<br>
  
Spongebob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br>
  
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, Spongebob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without  
+
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without  
 
ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)
 
ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)
  
Line 96: Line 95:
 
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br>
 
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br>
  
Spongebob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br>
+
SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br>
  
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while Spongebobs laugh is robot  
+
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot  
 
sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br>
 
sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br>
  
Spongebob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br>
  
 
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br>
 
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br>
  
Spongebob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br>
+
SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br>
  
Squidward: Gosh, Spongebob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br>
+
Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br>
  
Spongebob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later Spongebob is walking out of the  
+
SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the  
 
Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain  
 
Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain  
 
vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br>
 
vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br>
Patrick: Hey, Spongebob, how's it going?<br>
+
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?<br>
  
Spongebob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br>
+
SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br>
  
 
Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br>
 
Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br>
  
  
Spongebob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br>
  
 
Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br>
 
Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br>
  
Spongebob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br>
  
 
Patrick: Right foot first...<br>
 
Patrick: Right foot first...<br>
  
Spongebob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br>
  
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and Spongebob runs away trying not laugh)  
+
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh)  
 
That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br>
 
That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br>
  
Spongebob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, Spongebob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just  
+
SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just  
back away from the whoopee cushion, Spongebob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!
+
back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. Spongebob laughs a little as  
+
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as  
 
the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br>
 
the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br>
  
Spongebob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing.  
+
SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing.  
 
(tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my  
 
(tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my  
 
laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br>
 
laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br>
  
Patrick: Hi, Spongebob.<br>
+
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br>
  
Spongebob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br>
+
SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br>
  
 
Patrick: What happened?<br>
 
Patrick: What happened?<br>
  
Spongebob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br>
  
Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into Spongebobs mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match.  
+
Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match.  
(smoke fills Spongebob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
(smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br>
  
  
Mr Krabs: Come in.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Come in.<br>
Spongebob: (crying) Mr Krabs...?
+
SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...?
  
  
Mr Krabs: What's wrong, boy?
+
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?
  
Spongebob: I lost my laugh.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.<br>
Mr Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money  
+
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money  
but only Mr Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br>
+
but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br>
  
  
Spongebob: Not really.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Not really.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem despserate. touch it.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.<br>
  
Spongebob: (touches money) Nothing.<br>
+
SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. Afterall, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br>
Spongebob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's treedome)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)<br>
  
  
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, Spongebob. Now, what is laughter?<br>
+
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?<br>
Spongebob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br>
+
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br>
  
 
Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx  
 
Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx  
 
causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br>
 
causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br>
  
Spongebob: Sounds painful.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Sounds painful.<br>
  
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, Spongebob. (hands Spongebob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory  
+
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory  
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantem giggle theory.<br>
+
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br>
  
Spongebob: Thank you, Sandy.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.<br>
  
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peacful around here since Squarepants became a sad sack.<br>
+
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br>
  
Spongebob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br>
+
SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br>
 
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br>
 
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br>
  
 
Narrator: Later that same evening.<br>
 
Narrator: Later that same evening.<br>
  
Squidward: (heads Spongebob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself  
+
Squidward: (heads SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself  
out soon. (night turns into day as Squidwards tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (Spongebob cries a river into  
+
out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into  
Squidwards house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on Spongebobs door)<br>
+
Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br>
  
Spongebob: Hi, Squidward.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.<br>
  
Squidward: Spongebob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br>
+
Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br>
  
Spongebob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laughbox. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br>
+
SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br>
  
Squidward: Spongebob, there is no such thing as a laughbox! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid  
+
Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid  
 
laughter.<br>
 
laughter.<br>
  
Spongebob: You mean...my laughbox isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br>
+
SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br>
  
 
Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br>
 
Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br>
  
Spongebob: I could laugh the whole time?<br>
+
SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?<br>
 
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br>
 
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br>
  
Spongebob: I guess I did.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I guess I did.<br>
  
 
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br>
 
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br>
  
Spongebob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br>
+
SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br>
  
 
Squidward: It's hilarious!<br>
 
Squidward: It's hilarious!<br>
Spongebob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br>
+
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br>
  
Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laughbox! What a schlemiel. (has a lughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him  
+
Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him  
to the hostpial)<br>
+
to the hospital)<br>
  
 
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br>
 
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br>
Line 232: Line 231:
 
Squidward: Where am I?<br>
 
Squidward: Where am I?<br>
  
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laughbox.<br>
+
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laughbox he ever laid eyes on.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br>
  
 
Patrick: So they cut it out.<br>
 
Patrick: So they cut it out.<br>
  
 
Squidward: Cut it out?<br>
 
Squidward: Cut it out?<br>
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidwards laughbox in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce  
+
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce  
 
around.<br>
 
around.<br>
  
Line 246: Line 245:
 
Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br>
 
Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br>
  
Squidward: But, you cut out my laughbox.<br>
+
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.<br>
  
 
Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.<br>
 
Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.<br>
Line 252: Line 251:
 
Patrick: Nope.<br>
 
Patrick: Nope.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br>
  
 
Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br>
 
Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br>
  
Squidward: (Spongebob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br>
+
Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br>
  
Spongebob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he  
+
SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he  
 
goes off to share his laugh with the world.
 
goes off to share his laugh with the world.
  

Revision as of 16:38, 14 April 2008

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Selling Out Dunces and Dragons

Episode Article: Funny Pants

Characters

(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!

Squidward: opens his window What do you want, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is

laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)

Squidward: It's not that funny.

SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)

SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)

Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)

SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)

Customer #1: And always check for spare change.

SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 krabby patties.

Customer #2: Thanks, kid.


SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.

Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)

Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!

SpongeBob: I don't?

Squidward: No. You should sit down.

SpongeBob: But...
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in Spongebobs mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: I am?
Squidward: Tell me, Spongebob, have your sides been hurting?

SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.

Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?

SpongeBob: Is that bad?

Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.

SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.

Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.

SpongeBob: My laugh box?
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again.

SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?

Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)

Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you wanna hear a joke?

Patrick: Sure, Sandy.

SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.

Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)

SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.

Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.

SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?

Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.

SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?

SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!

Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)


SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)

Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)

SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!

Patrick: Right foot first...

SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.

Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)

SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!

Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)

SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. (tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!

Patrick: What happened?

SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.

Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. (smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)


Mr. Krabs: Come in.
SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...?


Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?

SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?


SpongeBob: Not really.

Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.

SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)


Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.

Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.

SpongeBob: Sounds painful.

Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.

SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.

Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.

SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)

Narrator: Later that same evening.

Squidward: (heads SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)

SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.

Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.

SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)

Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter.

SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.

Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.

SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.

SpongeBob: I guess I did.

Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)

SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.

Squidward: It's hilarious!
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)

Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him to the hospital)

Patrick: Look, he's waking up.

Squidward: Where am I?

Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.

Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.

Patrick: So they cut it out.

Squidward: Cut it out?
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.

Squidward: Ahh! Gimme that. I can never laugh again?

Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.

Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.

Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.

Patrick: Nope.

Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.

Sandy: You're getting warmer.

Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world.Template:Slogan

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