Please note: Due to constant attempts by spambots to gain access to SpongePedia, account creation is currently disabled. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You are not logged in. Please log in to get the full benefit of SpongePedia.
For further questions go to SpongePedia:Contents !
Editing Episode Transcript: Chocolate With Nuts
Warning: You are not logged in.
Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.The edit can be undone.
Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
| Latest revision | Your text | ||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Verkaufsgenies]] | [[de:Episodenmitschrift: Verkaufsgenies]] | ||
{| border="1" | {| border="1" | ||
| − | |-bgcolor=" | + | |-bgcolor="#CCCCCC" |
!Back Episode Transcript | !Back Episode Transcript | ||
!Next Episode Transcript | !Next Episode Transcript | ||
| Line 22: | Line 22: | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| + | |||
(SpongeBob is sitting in a mailbox as the mailman comes up and opens the mailbox)<br> | (SpongeBob is sitting in a mailbox as the mailman comes up and opens the mailbox)<br> | ||
| − | + | [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Hi mailman! ([[Mailman]] screams and runs as he drops the mail by the mailbox) Ok, see you tomorrow!<br> | |
| − | + | [[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hey, the mail's here. What did you get?<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Let's see...Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary... (throws the mail behind him that isn't his) Hey, a magazine. ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': Let's see...Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary... (throws the mail behind him that isn't [[Mr.Krabs|his]]) Hey, a magazine. (Doesn't throw magazine away, even though it isn't his)That’s funny. I don't remember subscribing to 'Fancy Living Digest'. (both look inside the magazine)<br> |
| − | ''' | + | SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Whoa!<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living. This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living. This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool.<br> | ||
| Line 36: | Line 37: | ||
'''Patrick''': (points to a rich man with glasses) This guy's got shoes! (Squidward comes up and grabs the magazine)<br> | '''Patrick''': (points to a rich man with glasses) This guy's got shoes! (Squidward comes up and grabs the magazine)<br> | ||
| − | + | [[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Give me that back to me! Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, how did people in that magazine get all that money?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, how did people in that magazine get all that money?<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Well, what kind of things?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Well, what kind of things?<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: How should I know? Things people want to buy. [[Squidward|Now keep your paws off my mail.]] (walks off to his house)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick! We got to become entrepreneurs!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick! We got to become entrepreneurs!<br> | ||
| Line 58: | Line 59: | ||
'''Patrick''': A chocolate bar?<br> | '''Patrick''': A chocolate bar?<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick! We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen. ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick! We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking out of Barg-N Mart with a bunch of chocolate bars)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Fancy Livin', here we come!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Fancy Livin', here we come!<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs ( | + | '''Patrick''': Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs (Pronounces it: auntre-penooers)!<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': Ok, Patrick, this is it. The first step on our road to living fancy. Just follow my lead. (walk up to a house and knocks on the door. Tom opens the door) Good afternoon, sir. Could we interest you in some chocolate?<br> |
| − | + | [[Tom]]: Chocolate? Did you say... chocolate?<br> | |
'''Patrick''': Yes sir! With or without nuts? (holds up two different chocolate bars)<br> | '''Patrick''': Yes sir! With or without nuts? (holds up two different chocolate bars)<br> | ||
| − | + | Tom: Chocolate? (turns red angrily) Chocolate! (SpongeBob and Patrick back up after seeing the ticked off Tom) '''''CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!''''' (SpongeBob and Patrick run away as Tom chases after them, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to another house)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': Ok, that first guy didn't count. This is our real first step. (door opens) Good morning sir, would you like to buy some chocolate?<br> |
| − | + | [[Con Man|Salesman]]: Chocolate bars, eh? <br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Yes sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Yes sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen.<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: (chuckles) A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise. (scene shows Patrick with a bunch of chocolate bars stuffed in his pants) No, no, no, wrong. You boys want to be good salesmen, right?<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Oh, most certainly, sir!<br> |
| − | + | Salesman: Well, no self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! (holds up an orange bag)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Wow...what is it?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Wow...what is it?<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead. It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort. But, I'm wasting my time. You boys don't need these bags.<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': We need them, we need them! (the man grins. Scene cuts to SpongeBob giving some money to the man. SpongeBob & Patrick walk off with their arms full of the orange bags)<br> |
| − | + | Salesman: So long boys! Happy hunting! (chuckles) Suckers.<br> | |
| − | + | Music: [[Fancy Livin']] | |
| − | + | Fancy livin', | |
| − | Here we come | + | Here we come |
La la la la laaa! | La la la la laaa! | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Let's try next door! (uses his foot to ring the doorbell. The man from before answers)<br> | + | '''SpongeBob''': Let's try next door! (SpongeBob uses his foot to ring the doorbell. The man from before answers)<br> |
| − | + | Salesman: Yes?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: I don't recall. But it looks to me you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady-killers are too smart to be without my patented candy bar bag carrying bags. (holds up two larger red bags)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': We'll take 20. ( | + | '''Patrick''': We'll take 20. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with two big red bags at another house. SpongeBob knocks)<br> |
| − | + | [[Sadie Rechid|Woman]]: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?<br> | ||
| − | + | Woman: That sounds heavenly. I’ll take one. (SpongeBob unzips his red bag)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': One chocolate bar coming up! (unzips the bag but | + | '''SpongeBob''': One chocolate bar coming up! (unzips the bag but another orange bag comes out. Laughs nervously as he keeps trying to find the chocolate bar but only finds more orange bags. Patrick unzips his pants up and down) I know they're in here somewhere...<br> |
| − | + | Woman: I don't have time for this. (closes the door)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice... <br> | '''SpongeBob''': I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice... <br> | ||
| − | + | Tom: Chocolate!!<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': ...lady<br> | + | '''SpongeBob''':...lady<br> |
| − | + | Tom:(SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Tom chases after them) Chocolate!! Chocolate!! Chocolate!! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.<br> | ||
| Line 139: | Line 140: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': No, wait Patrick! (Patrick freezes where he is) Why don't we try being nice?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': No, wait Patrick! (Patrick freezes where he is) Why don't we try being nice?<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Oh, | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, ok. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to a house)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. (Patrick knocks on the door and it opens)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. (Patrick knocks on the door and it opens)<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: Hello?<br> | |
'''Patrick''': (with a weird look on his face) I love you. (fish slams the door)<br> | '''Patrick''': (with a weird look on his face) I love you. (fish slams the door)<br> | ||
| Line 149: | Line 150: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try. (rings the doorbell. Door opens)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try. (rings the doorbell. Door opens)<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: No, please, go away!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...ahem. H-How ya doin'?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Uhh...ahem. H-How ya doin'?<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: How am I doing?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Wanna buy some chocolate?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Wanna buy some chocolate?<br> | ||
| Line 159: | Line 160: | ||
'''Patrick''': We got him now!<br> | '''Patrick''': We got him now!<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, lover boy? (Patrick's stomach is bubbling)<br> | |
'''Patrick''': Hehe, it tickles.<br> | '''Patrick''': Hehe, it tickles.<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. (shows a picture of a fat version of himself when he was 13) You can keep that for five bucks. (Patrick holds up some money)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': I'll take 10! ( | + | '''Patrick''': I'll take 10! (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street again)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I have a feeling we're too easily distracted. (Patrick is looking at the photo of the fish)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I have a feeling we're too easily distracted. (Patrick is looking at the photo of the fish)<br> | ||
| Line 181: | Line 182: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Remember Patrick, focus. (knocks on the door)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Remember Patrick, focus. (knocks on the door)<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: Yes?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. (hypnotic music plays Patrick stretches his eyes back and forth on the fish like Kaa the snake)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. (hypnotic music plays Patrick stretches his eyes back and forth on the fish like Kaa the snake)<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me?<br> | |
'''Patrick''': Focusing.<br> | '''Patrick''': Focusing.<br> | ||
| − | + | Fish: Back up, Jack! (slams the door on Patrick's eyes. Patrick looks around his house)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Nice place you got here! ( | + | '''Patrick''': Nice place you got here! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down the street)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I can't understand what we're doing wrong.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I can't understand what we're doing wrong.<br> | ||
| Line 199: | Line 200: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! (points to a giant billboard)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! (points to a giant billboard)<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': (reads the sign) | + | '''Patrick''': (reads the sign) 'Eat Barnacle Chips: They’re Delicious'<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': They are most certainly not delicious.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': They are most certainly not delicious.<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Not the way I use them | + | '''Patrick''': Not the way I use them?<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Yet they sell millions of bags a day.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Yet they sell millions of bags a day.<br> | ||
| Line 211: | Line 212: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick. We've got to stretch the truth.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick. We've got to stretch the truth.<br> | ||
| − | '''Tom''': | + | '''Tom''': CHOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Scene cuts to them at another house)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, then you come in for the kill.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, then you come in for the kill.<br> | ||
| Line 217: | Line 218: | ||
'''Patrick''': The kill. (SpongeBob rings the doorbell as an elderly lady answers it)<br> | '''Patrick''': The kill. (SpongeBob rings the doorbell as an elderly lady answers it)<br> | ||
| − | + | [[Mary]]: Yes?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Hello, young lady. (chuckles) We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Hello, young lady. (chuckles) We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home?<br> | ||
| − | + | Mary: Mom! (her mom, who is a worm-like shaped person, comes up in a wheelchair)<br> | |
| − | + | [[Mary's Mom]]: What? What! What’s all that yelling? You just can't wait for me to die, can you?<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: They're selling chocolate.<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: Chocolate?<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: Yeah!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: What? What are they selling?<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: Chocolate!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: What?<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: Chocolate!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: I can't hear you!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: (yells) They're selling chocolate!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: They're selling chocolate?<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: (yells) Yeah!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating! It's for--<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating! It's for--<br> | ||
| Line 253: | Line 254: | ||
'''Patrick''': You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever. | '''Patrick''': You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever. | ||
| − | + | Mary: No, no, no...<br> | |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: Live forever, you say? I'll take one. (daughter smacks her forehead. She gives SpongeBob some money as he gives her a chocolate bar) Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!<br> | |
| − | + | Mary: (to SpongeBob) I hate you! (closes door)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Hooray for lying! ( | + | '''Patrick''': Hooray for lying! (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick at another house)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': It'll make your hair grow.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': It'll make your hair grow.<br> | ||
| − | + | [[Fred]]: Great, my wife's trying to grow a beard. (scene cuts to another house)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': It'll make you sound smart!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': It'll make you sound smart!<br> | ||
| − | + | Hillbilly: I'll take 20! (scene cuts to another house)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': It'll keep your face from getting any uglier! | + | '''Patrick''': It'll keep your face from getting any uglier!<br> |
| − | + | Starfish: (a starfish that looks like Patrick but is wearing a shirt) Just in time.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Plus, they help make you fly.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Plus, they help make you fly.<br> | ||
| Line 281: | Line 282: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': They'll bring world peace.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': They'll bring world peace.<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': You'll walk through walls. | + | '''Patrick''': [[Flying Dutchman|You'll walk through walls.]]<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': [[Plankton|[dresses as a king]You'll rule the WORLD!]] (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick all bandaged up. Patrick uses two of his rumors to ring the door bell)<br> |
'''Patrick''': (chuckles) This'll be the best lie yet!<br> | '''Patrick''': (chuckles) This'll be the best lie yet!<br> | ||
| Line 289: | Line 290: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate. (door opens)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate. (door opens)<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: What can I do for you boys?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Hello, would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Hello, would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: Really? Small world. (guy walks out in a body cast) What's wrong with you guys?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Uhh...we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: (sighs) Some guys have all the luck. (sad violin music plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. (SpongeBob and Patrick then look sad. A tear rolls down his cheek ) At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. (the wheel under his leg breaks off) Oh no! (he falls down the stairs and groans)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Quick, Patrick, let's help him. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry him inside) Careful. Put him down gently. (Patrick drops him. Shattering glass is heard offscreen) | + | '''SpongeBob''': Quick, Patrick, let's help him. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry him inside) Careful. Put him down gently. (Patrick drops him. Shattering glass is heard offscreen)<br> |
| − | + | Salesman: Ow!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': You poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you...<br> | '''SpongeBob''': You poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you...<br> | ||
| − | + | Salesman: Well, there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. But luckily, I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars. (scene cuts to the crippled man looks out the window at SpongeBob and Patrick, who are walking off with a bunch of chocolate bars in their hands) Such nice boys. It does my heart good... (unzips his cast showing that he is the salesman from before) ...to con a couple of class-A suckeroonies like those two! Ha-ha-ha-ha!<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's | + | '''SpongeBob''': Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's then sits on it) |
'''Patrick''': I can live with that.<br> | '''Patrick''': I can live with that.<br> | ||
| Line 313: | Line 314: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother".<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother".<br> | ||
| − | '''Tom''' | + | '''Tom:''' (runs up to them) CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br> |
| − | ''' | + | SpongeBob and '''Patrick''': No! Please don't hurt us! No please have mercy! |
| − | + | Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I've got you right where I want you... (turns normal, holds up a bunch of money) ...I'd like to buy all of your chocolate. (SpongeBob and Patrick drop all their chocolate they have. A Hershey Kiss falls out of Patrick's shorts. [[Episode Transcript: Pre-Hibernation Week| SpongeBob & Patrick]] [[Episode Transcript: Ghost Host|melt into pink and yellow puddles]])<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thank you for your patronage. | + | '''SpongeBob''':Thank you for your patronage.<br> |
| − | + | (Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with lots of money.) | |
| − | ''' | + | '''Patrick''': Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?<br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''SpongeBob''': (pops up from under the money in the wheelbarrow) Not yet, pally. First we got to spend all the money.<br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''Patrick''': What are we gonna spend it on? (SpongeBob thinks then the scene cuts to an outside view of [[Fancy!]]. Squidward walks to the waiter all dressed up)<br> |
| − | + | Squidward: Good evening, sir. Table for one please.<br> | |
| − | + | Waiter: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy. Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?<br> | |
| − | + | Waiter: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates. (scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, the daughter, and mom sitting at a table)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': So | + | '''SpongeBob''': So, how long have you two ladies known each other?<br> |
| − | + | Mary's Mom: What? What did he say?<br> | |
{{Transcripts/Season 3}} | {{Transcripts/Season 3}} | ||
| + | |||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]] | ||
| + | l | ||
