Episode Transcript: Home Sweet Rubble

• [The sun beats down on SpongeBob's house, and crown of the pineapple wilts]
• SpongeBob: [wakes up, yawns, and stretches. He climbs out of bed, and his feet sink into the floor. He walks up to the bedroom window and opens it] Ahh... what could go wrong on a beautiful day like this? [the window twists and falls off as he walks into the kitchen] Gary, time for breakfast! [reaches for the cans of snail food on the shelf, but said shelf falls] The house must be settling. [pushes shelf hook into place] Oh, that's better. [the shelf, including the piece of wall it was on, collapses] I can fix this. I'll feed you when I'm done. [walks out of the kitchen]
• Gary: [imitating SpongeBob] Meow meow meow meow meow.
• SpongeBob: [boards up the collapsed piece of wall] Just a little handyman's know-how is all it takes, Gary! [he hammers again, and the wall collapses a second time]
• Gary: [holding food bowl] Meow meow meow meow!
• SpongeBob: Oh! Sorry, Gary. You want to eat, huh? Don't worry, I can fix both problems. [cut to SpongeBob re-boarding the wall from the outside] Okay, now that that's taken care of, time to feed Gary. [walks back inside just as the house continues rotting. He enters the kitchen to find a big mess, with the room flooding and the wallpaper peeling off. He pauses for a second, then walks into the living room to see the ceiling wet and sagging] Oh no! This is worse than I thought! [runs to get a broom and mop to hold the ceiling up] My door! [runs to the door with a chair to keep hold it up. He gasps, runs to the window, then takes off a TV antenna to hold up its frame; he then screams as the broom and mop break, and he runs to the ceiling to hold it up himself. He gets squished on the floor, but quickly gets back up and holds it with his head] Patrick! Patrick! [cut to Patrick sleeping on top of his rock] Patrick!
• [Patick dreamed that he is in a large office room, silently fidgeting with objects on his desk. The phone beeps.]
• Telephone Girl: Mr. Star, I have a SpongeBob SquarePants on line 3!
• Patrick: Put him through. [he answers the phone]
• SpongeBob: [through phone] Patrick! [cut back to reality. Patrick wakes up] Patrick! Patrick Star!
• Patrick: Oh, hey, buddy! You really need to clean up around here. [the pineapple falls on Squidward's house]
• Squidward: [wakes up scared] It's The Big One! It's the end of the world! Invest in gold! Hoard your drinking wa- [looks out the window to see the rotting pineapple leaning against his house. He sighs] I should've known. [goes to SpongeBob's house] What's going on in here?!
• SpongeBob: You're just in time to lend a hand, Squidward!
• Squidward: Lend a hand? No! [Patrick grabs Squidward and stretches him across the house, then doubles back and goes inside. He wraps the tentacle around a potted plant. The outer wall peels away, and SpongeBob jumps to the window frame to hold it up]