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| | DvTtpO <a href="http://aedwahidzwbe.com/">aedwahidzwbe</a>, [url=http://gubpeehhvant.com/]gubpeehhvant[/url], [link=http://ipwtzfcxwpbj.com/]ipwtzfcxwpbj[/link], http://wsrgvoshrahf.com/ | | DvTtpO <a href="http://aedwahidzwbe.com/">aedwahidzwbe</a>, [url=http://gubpeehhvant.com/]gubpeehhvant[/url], [link=http://ipwtzfcxwpbj.com/]ipwtzfcxwpbj[/link], http://wsrgvoshrahf.com/ |
| | | | |
| − | ==Dialogue==
| + | Hi guys, here is Top 1000 internet sites: |
| − | | + | http://ibewurg.b-w-h.com/best-sites.html best sites |
| − | (lights are circling outside the Krusty Krab. Inside, there is a sign hanging from the ceiling that says 'Komedy Krab')<br>
| + | http://hmuhpeb.builtfree.org/best-sites-of-internet.html best sites of internet |
| − | | + | http://aaukwao.builtfree.org/best-sites-top-1000.html best sites top 1000 |
| − | Mr. Krabs: Ok, everybody settle down. Welcome to the Komedy Krab! (puts an arrow on his eyes. Everyone laughs) Now please give
| + | http://ypiiaep.b-w-h.com/best-sites-i-found.html best sites i found |
| − | a warm welcome to our first comic, the indiscernible Dougie Williams! (Dougie walks onto the stage as Mr Krabs walks out)
| + | http://rgmocma.b-w-h.com/our-friendly-movie-sites.html best friendly movie sites |
| − | | + | http://hmuhpeb.builtfree.org/our-friendly-movie-sites.html best friendly movie sites |
| − | Dougie Williams: Good evening, folks. I’m going to skip the jokes and get right to the part where I throw pies at you. (pulls
| + | |
| − | out a cart of pies. The crowd takes out their umbrellas. SpongeBob opens the curtain from behind and gets splattered with pie)
| + | |
| − | <br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (laughs) I hope I do as good as that guy.
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Dougie Williams: (backstage) Man, those people will laugh at anything. Hey, don’t sweat it kid, I got them all worked up for
| + | |
| − | you.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants! (SpongeBob walks out with a bowtie on)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Go get ‘em, SpongeBob!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Patrick: (sitting at a table with Sandy) Whoo-hoo! (SpongeBob gives them a thumbs-up)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Hey, hey, hey ladies and jellyfish, have you ever noticed salt shakers? I mean, you fill them up every night at
| + | |
| − | closing, and I mean, where does it all go? Huh? You know what I mean? (no one laughs. Crickets are chirping) And tomatoes --
| + | |
| − | what’s the deal on those things? (chuckles weakly. Crowd is still silent) I mean, you chop them up into slices, but... What
| + | |
| − | are they, vegetables or...fruit? And what does that make ketchup? (chuckles weakly)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #1: Oh brother, this guy stinks!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Harold: Hey, hey funny guy, I've got a joke for you! What smells rotten and puts people to sleep?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Umm, noxious gas?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Harold: No! Your act! (everyone laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Did you ever notice how, uhh... (notices a fork on a table) ...forks, uhh...<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #3: Forks?! Come on! (crowd is booing)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (thinking) Quick, SpongeBob, make a witty observation! (looks around for material then notices Sandy's teeth) Did
| + | |
| − | you ever notice how big squirrels' front teeth are? (crowd chuckles)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish: That's true.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Huh?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things. (crowd laughs more) And what’s up with all that squirrel fur?
| + | |
| − | I guess fleas need a home too. (crowd laughs loud)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Patrick: (laughing) Squirrel fur!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: And they smell! But hey, you’d stink too if you spent three months buried in dirt. (crowd laughs) Hey, why does it
| + | |
| − | take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #2: Why?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Because, they’re so darn stupid! (crowd laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Patrick: That’s a good one, huh, Sandy?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Uhh, y-yeah... (SpongeBob walks behind the curtain where Mr Krabs is waiting for him)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: That was fantastic boy. You really knocked them out! I think I’ll do this joke night thing again with you as the
| + | |
| − | headliner!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: I never thought I could be a headliner! Whatever that is.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: The headliner’s the one who cleans up after the show. (hands SpongeBob a mop)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: At least I don’t have to clean up my act! (laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: Stick with the squirrel jokes, boy. Now get busy. (walks off)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Mops, mops, mops, what’s up with those things? I mean, really. (walks up to Sandy) Oh hey, Sandy!<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Did you enjoy the show?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Well, ac-actually SpongeBob, no. Those jokes are hurtful and you know it.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Come on Sandy, I was just joking. I mean, everybody knows that you’re the smartest one in Bikini Bottom.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Well, I can’t argue with that.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: We all gotta laugh at ourselves once in a while. I do it all the time! (holds up a mirror and laughs excessively
| + | |
| − | into it, Sandy chuckles) Sandy: You’re right, SpongeBob. I was being a little too sensitive. (both hug) No hard feelings.
| + | |
| − | (scene cuts to Sandy at Barg'N-Mart) Ok, deodorant. Huh, let’s see. Roll-on or stick? (a couple walks by)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fred: I think she should buy both. (laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Huh?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Scooter: Hey look guys! (it’s three kids, the one speaking is Scooter, the surfing dude) It’s the stupid squirrel!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #4: I know, let’s try to communicate with it.
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| − | | + | |
| − | All: Duh... (all walk off laughing)<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Hmph! (throws the deodorant into the cart then walks up to a little kid) Hello, little critter! What’s your name?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Mother: (grabs her child) Don’t stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You’ll catch its stupid. (walks off)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Billy: Ok, mom.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one. (scene cuts to the Komedy Krab where everyone is chanting
| + | |
| − | for SpongeBob. SpongeBob is sitting at a desk preparing for his act)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: La-la-la-la-la-la. Squirrely, squirrely, squirrely, squirrel. Because they're stupid. Because they're stupid.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Hey, uhh, SpongeBob?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Sandy.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Umm, I need to talk to you about them squirrel jokes.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: We already talked about that, remember? (looks in a mirror and laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: SpongeBob, this is serious. Since you’ve been telling them jokes, people have been treating me different. (Patrick
| + | |
| − | walks backstage)<br><br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Patrick: SpongeBob, five minutes. (notices Sandy then talks slowly) Hel-lo...Sandy. Me Patrick. Do you un-der-stand? (Sandy
| + | |
| − | looks away) Squirrels. (walks off)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Y-y-you see? That’s what I’m talking about!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Ah, that’s just Patrick. He’s just fooling around.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: I’m just asking you as a friend, please lay off them squirrel jokes, ok? Tell some of them other jokes you got.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (nervously) Other jokes? (imagines the fork joke) Bah! I got a million of them.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: (hugs SpongeBob) Thanks SpongeBob, I knew you’d understand. (walks to her seat. The crowd is still chanting for
| + | |
| − | SpongeBob)<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants! (everyone cheers as SpongeBob walks out)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Uhh, hi. (chuckles nervously) Uhh, did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt? Now he’s a bronze fish.
| + | |
| − | (crowd is confused) I guess you heard that one.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: I haven’t heard it! Good one, SpongeBob!<br>
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| − | SpongeBob: Thank you, you’re too kind. Hey, what about this water! I mean, the stuff’s everywhere.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Patrick: Tell the one about the squirrel and the light bulbs.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Uhh, hey, what about this thing! (takes out a big rubber chicken) Huh? Huh?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #5: Get on with the squirrel jokes! (crowd changes for squirrel jokes)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (thinking) What do I do? Who do I do? SpongeBob, you’ve got a choice to make: (looks at Sandy) your friends (looks
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| − | at his microphone) or your career. (drops the microphone and everyone gasps. He walks backstage then jumps back on stage with
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| − | hillbilly teeth) Howdy, y’all! (crowd cheers loudly) How come it takes more than one squirrel to screw in a light bulb?
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | All: Because they’re so darn stupid!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (laughs as he walks around tooting a bicycle horn) My people! (Sandy gets angry) But seriously folks, I want to
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| − | give a special thanks to my friend, Sandy. (spotlight on Sandy as the two women around her giggle) Sandy, don’t you see? The
| + | |
| − | crowd loves these jokes. Am I right? (crowd cheers) Don’t you see, Sandy? We’re laughing with you, not at you! Do you
| + | |
| − | understand now, Sandy? Huh, do you?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: I understand everything that’s going on, SpongeBob.
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Great. I knew sooner or later you’d get it. What a great sport. Let’s give a big hand for Sandy! But clap slow
| + | |
| − | because remember, she’s a squirrel! (crowd is cheering their loudest) Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience, and uhh,
| + | |
| − | good night! (walks backstage) Ah...another spectacular performance, SpongeBob. (see a note taped to his mirror) Oh, what’s
| + | |
| − | this, a fan letter? (reads it)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: (reading the letter) You were right SpongeBob! Those jokes are funny! Come on over to the treedome tomorrow and
| + | |
| − | celebrate, Sandy.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: You did it SpongeBob. You get to keep your career and your friends. (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to the
| + | |
| − | treedome with his water helmet on and flowers in his hands. He knocks on the door as the water empties from the treedome) I’m
| + | |
| − | glad that Sandy can finally see the genius of my comedy. (door opens) Good morning, Sandy. (Sandy is dressed as a hillbilly
| + | |
| − | with flies floating around her)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Well, how-dee!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Sandy, are you feeling alright?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: I’m just being my own au-naturally squirrelly self! (licks her teeth with her tongue. SpongeBob laughs nervously) Well
| + | |
| − | come on in! Y’all must be tired from telling them funny jokes all the time. Why don’t you take a load off! (pushes him onto a
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| − | log with glue on it)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Uhh, Sandy, I think something’s wrong with this seat.<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Now, (holds up a brush and a bucket of glue) I just done put glue on it so you wouldn’t fall off. (gasps and grabs the
| + | |
| − | flowers that SpongeBob was holding) Are them flowers for me? You even done got me a vase! (takes SpongeBob’s water helmet off
| + | |
| − | his head)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: But Sandy, that, that’s not a... (Sandy places the flowers in the water helmet)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: A’int that purdy?<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Sandy, I need wa...<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Oh, that’s right. Youse a sea critter. Now what was that thing that sea critters need? Umm, uhh...let’s see, uhh... (a
| + | |
| − | big lump in her throat wiggles up and down) Sea critters need, uhh...<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Wa...<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Oh wait, don’t tell me. I know this one!
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Wa...<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Wa...llet? Watch? Waffles?
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Sandy! Water!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: Well, why didn’t you just say so! (puts the end of a hose in SpongeBob's mouth) Yup, us squirrels sure is stupid.
| + | |
| − | (connects the other end of the hose to a pipe then turns it on. SpongeBob enlarges as more water enters into him) Dumb, dumb,
| + | |
| − | dumb, squirrels is dumb.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Ok Sandy, I get it!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Sandy: What’s that? You want more? (connects to the end of the hose to a bigger pipe and turns it on) Okey-dokey! More water
| + | |
| − | for the sea-critter! (SpongeBob is still enlarging)<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Ok Sandy, Ok! I get it! (SpongeBob is filled up every inch of the treedome) No more squirrel jokes. (scene cuts to
| + | |
| − | the Komedy Krab where the crowd is chanting for SpongeBob again) Thank you, thank you very much. Well, on my way over here, I ran into a squirrel. (winks at Sandy) And I said, “Hey, why don’t you go get a couple of squirrel friends and we’ll go change a light bulb.” (crowd laughs) But seriously folks, the only thing dumber than a squirrel is a sponge! (crowd is silent) I mean, we’re so dumb, we don’t even have a vertebrae! (twists himself) Look at me! I got no bones!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Fish #6: That's true. (crowd laughs)<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Krabs? Oh brother. They’re so cheap, they can’t even pay attention!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: (laughs) It’s true, I am cheap!<br>
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Now let me tell you about those fish? Boy are they smelly. Whoo-hoo! I mean how can a creature that spends so much
| + | |
| − | time in the water smell so bad? I mean, really! (imitates a fish) Soap, soap, what is soap? (crowd laughs more. SpongeBob and
| + | |
| − | Sandy give each other a thumbs-up as the scene cuts to an outside view of the Krusty Krab) And don’t even get me started on
| + | |
| − | starfish.
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| − | | + | |
| − | {{Transcripts/Season 2}}
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | [[Category:Transcript]]
| + | |
| − | | + | |
| − | {{Slogan}}
| + | |
