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Editing Episode Transcript: Selling Out
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Good Neighbors|Good Neighbors]] | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Good Neighbors|Good Neighbors]] | ||
| − | + | |[[Episode Transcript: Funny Pants|Funny Pants]] | |
|} | |} | ||
| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Selling Out]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Squidward]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Mr. Krabs]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Pearl]] |
*[[Howard Blandy]] | *[[Howard Blandy]] | ||
*[[Carl]] | *[[Carl]] | ||
| − | + | (Inside the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is counting money at the register until he feels a rumble coming from outside)<br> | |
| − | ( | + | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Here they come, lads.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hooray!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Fantastic. (crowd comes rushing in running over Squidward)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Thank you very much, madam. (Mr. Krabs pushes the key to open the cash box over and over) I feel so alive! | |
| − | '''Music:''' "[[ | + | '''Music:''' "[[ChaChing]]" |
| − | + | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaring | |
| − | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha- | + | Money, oh money, how I love thee |
| − | Money, oh money, how I love thee | + | Cha-ching. Cha-chong. Cha-changaroo |
| − | Cha-ching. Cha-chong. Cha-changaroo | + | |
From pennies to dollars. Any amount will do | From pennies to dollars. Any amount will do | ||
| − | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. It's no contest | + | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. It's no contest |
| − | There's only one thing that I love the best | + | There's only one thing that I love the best |
| − | From every sight I ever seen. To | + | From every sight I ever seen. To sweetest sound I've heard |
| − | I'd gladly give up everything for all the money that I've earned | + | I'd gladly give up everything for all the money that I've earned |
| − | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha- | + | Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaring |
| − | There's nothing on earth like the feeling of greed | + | There's nothing on earth like the feeling of greed |
| − | There's nothing on earth like the feeling of greed | + | There's nothing on earth like the feeling of greed |
| − | + | Squidward: Please don't do that again.<br> | |
| − | + | Howard: (walks in the Krusty Krab) I think the stain glass barstool can go over here. And the suede hand carved wooden | |
| + | sports flag display case can go over there.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, matey. Can I help you gentlemen with something?<br> | |
| − | + | Howard: I'd like to speak to the owner.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Who wants to know?<br> | |
| − | + | Howard: Allow me to introduce myself. Howard Blandy: President of the Blandy Franchising Company.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Howard Blandy? You mean (the) Howard Blandy? The Howard Blandy that masterminded the ruthless takeover of every | |
| + | small family owned business in Bikini Bottom? That Howard Blandy? (gets on hands and knees) I worship you. (cries)<br> | ||
| + | Howard: Get it together, little man.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Sorry, it's just, uhh, you're rich. (laughs) I'm Mr. Krabs. To what do I owe the honor of having you at the Krusty | |
| + | Krab, Howard?<br> | ||
| − | + | Howard: What would it take to buy the Krusty Krab from you?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Buy the Krusty Krab? It's not for sale. You know, I may not make as much as your fancy-schmancy-migger restaurant | |
| + | chain, but it's the blood, sweat, and tears of a hard days work. It's not about the mon... (suitcase full of money is shown | ||
| − | ' | + | to Mr. Krabs) Holy mother of pearl! I like the way you think Blandy. But it's gonna take a lot more than a suitcase of cash |
| + | to buy the Krusty Krab from me.<br> | ||
| − | + | Howard: Oh, there's a lot more than that. The rest is over there. (points to a boat full of suitcases with money)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Jumpin King Neptune! Sold. Can I have my money?<br> | |
| − | + | Howard: Just one thing. If you can sign this contract. It just states that you relinquish the Krusty Krab and all | |
| + | proprietary ownership thereof. Along with its employees, merchandise, logos, and cash registers.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Do I still get the money?<br> | |
| − | + | Howard: Of course.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: That'll be fine then. (signs contract) Here you go. Now gimme gimme gimme gimme. (holds suitcase up in the air) | |
| + | Whoo-ha! See ya around. (walks out the Krusty Krab. Contractors & painters come in remodeling)<br> | ||
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: What's happening? Mr Krabs! Mr Krabs, they're putting up pennants in the Krusty Krab. What's going on?<br> |
| + | Mr Krabs: I'm retiring.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Retiring?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I'm free to do whatever I want. I can learn to ride that bicycle I got 30 years ago. Or go to the new hook museum | |
| + | downtown. Or even paint bowls of fruit. Aren't you happy for me?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I sure am!<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: So long, boys.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Have fun, Mr Krabs. (cries)<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Carl: Hi, gentlemen, I'm Carl. I'll be your new manager.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: New manager?<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: I think you'll find working at the Krabby O' Mondays to be a both learning experience and enjoyable one.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Krabby O' Mondays?<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: (takes away their Krusty Krew hats) You won't be needing these anymore. (hands them new clothes) Now here are your | |
| + | new uniforms and here are the... (hands them heavy books) new manuals. See ya first thing tomorrow.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (driving boat and smelling the air) The sweet smell of a brand-new day. First stop: the new hook museum. And then | |
| + | maybe I'll... (sees new krabby o' Mondays) Hey, a Krabby O' Mondays? Not the name I would've chosen. But that's all behind | ||
| + | me now. (later, Mr Krabs is at the Hook Museum listening to the story narrator about a 3 prong hook. Then he is at his home | ||
| + | painting a bowl of fruit, which he actually paints a bowl of krabby patties. Then he is playing golf) Wait a minute, I hate | ||
| + | golf! (now laying in his bed at home) Well, I've done everything I wanted to do. And it's not even noon.<br> | ||
| − | + | Pearl: (on phone) Did you see the shoes she has on? So last year. (laughs. Notices her father in the doorway) Hold on, | |
| + | Gina. Yeah, dad?<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: How's it going?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Pearl: Fine.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Whatcha up to?<br> | |
| − | + | Pearl: I'm talking on the phone!<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, really?<br> | |
| − | + | Pearl: Really.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh.<br> | |
| − | + | Pearl: Dad, isn't there something you need to do?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Actually, I was hoping you and I could do something together.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Pearl: Get out! That's it, dad. Get a job, get a hobby, or get some friends. 'Cause I can't take it anymore!<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (using metal detector on the beach) Find some friends she says, find a hobby she says, get a job she says... | |
| + | (runs into a window with a 'Help Wanted' sign) Help wanted. (walks into Krabby O' Mondays)<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Ahoy there, mateys. Welcome to Krabby O' Mondays.<br> | |
| − | + | Kid: It's my birthday.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Can I start you off with...<br> | |
| − | + | Mother: Will you sing the Krabby O' Mondays birthday song to my special little man?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Happy, happy birthday. (sighs) Happy, happy bir... | |
| + | Carl: Uhh, Squidward, can I talk to you for a second? What's our motto here at Krabby O' Mondays?<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Sincere service with a smile.<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: Well, yes, but with the Krabby O' Mondays spirit. Now, Squidward, you wouldn't want to have to talk to human | |
| + | resources... (big strong guy steps out) ...would you? So, what's our motto again?<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Sincere service (slaps self) with a smile!<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: Now you're gettin' it.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (in kitchen cleaning dishes) Morning, SpongeBob.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Mr Krabs, what are you doing here?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. So, I'm the new bus boy. (whistles as he sees SpongeBob with a big smile) Uhh, ok son, you're starting to creep my out.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (clings to Mr. Krabs) I knew you'd come back, Mr. Krabs, I just knew you would.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Ok, boy, back to work.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I'm not your boss anymore. Just call me Eugene.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Aye aye...Eugene. (giggles)<br> | |
| + | Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Ahoy, Eugene! Would you mind clearing this table for me?<br> | |
| + | Mr. Krabs: Sure, Squidward. Ya know, I've never seen you this happy.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: They're watching us.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: That guy's a real pain in the hine-quarters, eh Squiddy?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Uhh, Eugene, I think you need to look at page 20 of our employee handbook again.<br> | |
| + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, I don't need Carl's silly rules.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: I really think you should look. (pointing to a message)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What's this? Help me.<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: Hey, fellas, what's going on over here?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh, hey Carl, uhh, I was just reminding Eugene about article 24 section 3 of our employee handbook.<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: cut the chatter and pick up a platter. Great job, Squidward.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What have you done to real Squidward?<br> | |
| − | + | Carl: The less you know, Eugene, the better.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What's going on around here? Where's SpongeBob? (in the kitchen, krabby patties are being made in a different way | |
| + | through an oven and spray painted to make it look like a real krabby patty)<br> | ||
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: (takes a krabby patty from the basket) Where's the love?<br> |
| + | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened to the krabby patties?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen to me.<br> | |
| + | Mr. Krabs: This is obscene. (walks out of the kitchen) Carl, I need to have a wor...<br> | ||
| − | + | Cash Register: Your change is $1.75. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Automated cash register? Noo!!! (eyes roll back in his head) Hey, Carl, what have you done to me restaurant? | |
| + | Processed krabby patties? Computerized registers?<br> | ||
| − | + | Carl: Look around you. our customers are quite content with the contrive and the mediocre. (customer falls asleep)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: That's because they don't know what they're eating. (grabs a pile of cow dung from the krabby patty making machine | |
| + | then walks up to a customer) Excuse me, ma'am, do you know what's in that krabby patty you're eating?<br> | ||
| − | + | Customer: No. (Mr. Krabs shows pile of the cow dung. Customer runs out)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: See that, without all your smoke & mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage.<br> | |
| + | Customer #2: What'd he say? Garbage? (customers notice what’s in the krabby patties and everyone runs out)<br> | ||
| − | + | Carl: Eugene, you're in violation of your contract.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Rules. Here's a rule for ya. People can't eat stain glass barstools. (throws barstool into the big screen TV) | |
| − | ' | + | I'll show you automated. (takes cash register and shoves it in the krabby patty making machine)<br> |
| − | + | Carl: Mr. Blandy? Code red. Free thinker.<br> | |
| + | Howard: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem here?<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem. I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy. But after seeing this, I | |
| + | wouldn't even spit in your direction. Krabby patties are supposed to be made by hand. One at a time. Not on a conveyor | ||
| + | belt. (krabby patty machine blows and spews out garbage everywhere)<br> | ||
| − | + | Carl: Oh, my. (floating away in the garbage) Does this mean I won't get that raise, sir?<br> | |
| + | Howard: It's ruined!<br> | ||
| − | '' | + | Friend: We'll have to sell it. we'll be lucky if we get a fraction of what we paid for it. (Mr. Krabs drives up with boat full of suitcases)<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I'll buy it for full price.<br> | |
| − | + | Friend: Sold. We won't be needing your contract anymore. Nice doing business with you.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Pleasure's all mine. Now get out of me restaurant. (laughs) We did it, boys. The Krusty Krab is ours again. Ya know, in a fit of maniacal rage, I may have destroyed the restaurant, scared away all our customers, and forced us into bankruptcy because I returned nearly every penny I sold this stink heap for, but it was all worth it. And I got back the love of my dear friends.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Really, Mr. Krabs?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: No, not really. Get back to work. (pushes the key to open the register and ends with dollar signs) | |
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[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
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