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Editing Episode Transcript: Patrick SmartPants
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| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Patrick SmartPants]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Patrick]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Squidward]] |
| − | *[[Sandy | + | *[[Sandy]] |
| − | + | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
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| − | + | (SpongeBob & Patrick are running through Jellyfish Fields laughing trying to capture jellyfish)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: (pokes Spongebob) You're it. (both laugh)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) You're it. (both laugh. Patrick runs off) Wait, Pat, you're it! (notices a sign a few yards | |
| + | away) The sign!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Huh? (tries to read it as he is running) Danger... (falls off the cliff) cliff!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Patrick! (runs down the cliff to Patrick) Let me help you out of ther buddy! (grabs a starfish shaped head out | |
| + | of the ground. When he notices its just a head, he screams) Is the rest of you down there?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (walks up to SpongeBob with no head attached to his body) The rest of me is up here.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: Whew, you had me worried there, buddy. (laughs) Here's your head. (attaches the head onto Patrick and laughs. |
| + | Picture of inside Patricks head shows a plug--plugging into an outlet. Gears & Cranks start up. Patrick gets a spark or two | ||
| + | from his head)<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: I find this laughter to be highly illogical.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: Well, let's stop laughing and start fishing! (takes out two jellyfish nets. Hands a net to Patrick) Go ahead, |
| + | you get first crack.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (jellyfish floats by) Look at them. These graceful stoic creatures of the deep.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: Huh? Those are some big words, Pat. I've never heard you use them before.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinetly expandable.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, let's expand our jellyfish nets. (captures a jellyfish) Look buddy, I captured one!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Yes...I captured one as well without disturbing its delicate ecosystem. It is wrong to harness nature in such a | |
| + | barbaric manner.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ok...what do you wanna do?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: Let us go off and admire the beauty and fragility of nature.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Pretty.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Yes, quite.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Fragile.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Indeed.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: (jumps at Patrick 3 times) C'mon Patrick, let's do something fun.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Oh, you want to run some statistics or observe phenomenon and render hypothesis of said phenomenon? | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I | |
| + | was thinking more like jumping rope, 1-legged races, or duck-duck-hermit crab. (jumps into a hermit-crab shell)<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Doesn't feel like fun.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: How about some jokes? (Patrick sighs) What's the difference between a guitar and a jellyfish?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: You can't strum a jellyfish.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yes! (laughs. Patrick grabs a jellyfish and strums its tentacles)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Oh my, look at the time. I really must be going. (walks off)<br> | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: What's wrong with Patrick? I sure hope he gets better soon. (at Patrick's house where Patrick is doing some |
| + | scientific work) Are you better, Pat? Uhh, whatcha doing?<br> | ||
| + | Patrick: Just studying this amazing sub-species.<br> | ||
| − | + | Plankton: (through a telescope) I'll show you subspecies.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: Wanna visit Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Well, since I am finished with my work I'll humor you with your trivial pursuits. (now at Squidward's house where | |
| + | Squidward is playing his clarinet) I'd recognize that piece anywhere! Cornelius Pofferfish's of the 67th symphony in | ||
| + | blue.<br> | ||
| + | Squidward: Patrick?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: It's a beautiful piece. Execution needs some work. (walks over to the piano) May I suggest on the 7th bar that you add a little b-flat scale.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Wow, I never thought to do it like that.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Well, that's because you rarely think.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: How do you know so much about music?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance. (inhales) Ah.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Does that include... (burps)bel-ch-ing.<br> | |
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| − | + | Patrick: Mr Squarepants, I find your humor vulgar.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: I had no idea you were so knowledable, Patrick. Do you think you can be my musical mentor?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Uhh, guys?<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Let's take it from the top. (Squidward plays) Not so excellent, Squidward. Let me demonstrate the proper | |
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technique. (looks at clarinet with spit covered all over the mouth piece) On second thought, practice makes perfect. Let's | technique. (looks at clarinet with spit covered all over the mouth piece) On second thought, practice makes perfect. Let's | ||
| − | begin. (SpongeBob comes up playing his musical nose as a flute) | + | begin. (SpongeBob comes up playing his musical nose as a flute) Thank you, my good chap. Unfortunately, this is a solo |
| − | piece for clarinet only. And 1, 2, 3, 4... (Squidward plays more. SpongeBob frowns and walks out) Stop! Enough! (walks out) Find yourself a new mentor! | + | piece for clarinet only. And 1, 2, 3, 4... (Squidward plays more. SpongeBob frowns and walks out) Stop! Enough! (walks out) Find yourself a new mentor!!<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Now that you have some free-time, let's get some grub.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: No, Spongebob, I'm afraid not.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, I have a brand new bottle of super bubbly bubble soap. (blows a bubble that pops on Patricks face)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: No, thanks again.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: Well, maybe later we can play pirates.<br> | ||
| − | '' | + | Patrick: Robert, my dear, it's no use. We've just grown apart.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: What? What do you mean?<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob | + | Patrick: I know we've had fun in the past but we're just not compatible anymore. It's time we went our seperate ways...such |
| + | as life.<br> | ||
| + | SpongeBob: But Patrick, you're my best friend.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: I know it's hard but brace up chap.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yeah.<br> | |
| + | Patrick: Maybe our paths will cross again someday.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Goodbye, Mr Bestfriend. (at Sandy's treedome. Spongebob rings her doorbell) Sandy, you there? I need some | |
| + | professional help. (Sandy and Patrick are heard laughing inside) Patrick? | ||
| − | + | Sandy: Well, Pat, the new you gets an A+.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Why, thank you, Sandra. I find your intelect rather stimulating as well.<br> | |
| − | + | Sandy: Oh, really? Well, thanks. (at a chalkboard with an equation on it) Well, Patrick, what do you think about this | |
| + | problem?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (changes formula) You simply change the literal term to a coefficient and the menuin will achieve the desired | |
| + | quotient. Even the simplest of mammals can figure it out with a little thought.<br> | ||
| − | + | Sandy: What do you mean by that, Patrick?<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Patrick: I'm merely suggesting you lack the ability to solve remedial equations.<br> |
| − | ' | + | Sandy: Are you suggesting I'm dumb?<br> |
| − | ''' | + | Patrick: I'd use a more sophisticated word like 'impaired'.<br> |
| − | + | Sandy: I think you better leave.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: I was only trying to help. (walks off)<br> | |
| − | + | Sandy: I don't need your kind of help, Mr know-it-all. I liked you better when you were a barnacle head.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (sitting on his chair at home crying) I never thought I'd lose my best friend. How can I compete with geniusness? | |
| + | <br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (sitting on his chair at home) Surrounded by knowledge and no one to share it with. The one I can call friend. Who's the old chap I used to run with? (notices a book on the table next to him called 'MY FRIEND SPONGEBOB') Spongebob.<br> | |
| − | '' | + | SpongeBob: (looks at his 'MY FRIEND PATRICK' book) Well, at least Patrick is my friend in my memories.<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: Aww, the glory days, why have we grown apart? I must apply all that I know to solve this problem! (looks at x-rays of him & SpongeBob's head, meditates on top of his rock, studies Squidward, reads book) What could it be? (applies a chemical on his head and grows hair) What's different? (tears out his hair) What can I do anything to have my own buddy | |
| + | back by my side again?!<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (doorbell rings) Coming... (opens door and gets kidnapped in a jellyfish net by Patrick) Patrick, you're | |
| + | kidnapping me?<br> | ||
| + | Patrick: Yes, I am.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yay! (jumps out of the net and writes "yippie" in the air with bubble soap) What should we do?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: We're going to have fun. Whatever the cost may be.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Let's do this.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Yes, let's have some fun.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (jumping around) Oh, yeah!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: (jumpingb around) Oh, absolutely! (now riding on a shell down a mountain) Are you quite sure I found this activity | |
| + | to be fun?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yeah. (screams with enjoyment. Shell lunges them into the sand) That was fun, huh Patrick?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: Swallows a mouth-full of sand) When did the fun go away, SpongeBob?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: It went away when you jumped off that cliff and knocked your head clear off.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: That's it! (runs off)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: That's what? Patrick, what are doing?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: I'm going to duplicate my actions from that day to accitate the origin of my head! (falls off cliff)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Patrick! Hold on, buddy! (takes Patrick out of the ground) There ya go. (notices he has no head and screams) Don't worry, Patrick. I found your head last time, I'll find it again! (searches around some coral) Not back there. (checks | |
| − | + | under a rock) Not under here. What if I can't find it? Oh, boy, headless Patrick?! (turns around and runs into Patrick | |
| + | making his head pop out) Patrick, you're head it back! But, uhh, do you feel different?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Quite unchanged, actually.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I guess we'll never have fun together again.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: You said you found my discharged cranium last time.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yes.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Where exactly did you find it?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Uhh, it was right here.<br> | |
| + | Patrick: Hmmm, impossible. If I landed here the projectory of my dismembered skull would cause it to rest, not there, but | ||
| + | here, exactly 5 meters due north.<br> | ||
| + | SpongeBob: But if that's your head, what did I pick up over... (sign says 'BRAIN CORAL FIELD') brain coral. No wonder you | ||
| − | + | got so smart, buddy. (blows off the poison sea urchins off Patrick's head) Here you go, Patrick, you're old head. Are you | |
| − | + | sure you want to give up being smart and phosisticated to be my friend again? | |
| − | + | Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship. I prefer to be an idiot!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Not just an idiot, Patrick. You're also my pal. (takes off Patrick's head and puts his old on back on) Patrick? | |
| + | Say something, Patrick.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (burps) Hi, SpongeBob.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Patrick, you're back!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Patrick, you're back. (both laugh till end of cartoon) | |
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[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
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