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Editing Episode Transcript: Mrs. Puff, You're Fired
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| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Mrs. Puff, You're Fired]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[Patrick Star | + | *[[Patrick Star]] |
*[[Mrs. Puff]] | *[[Mrs. Puff]] | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Sergent Roderick]] |
| − | *[[Mr | + | *[[Mr Fitz]] |
| − | + | (At Mrs Puff's Boating School)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr Fits: Morning, Mrs Puff. I'm Mr Fits. I represent the 'Boating School Teachers Of Creditation Bureau'. As you know your | |
| + | teaching certificate is up for renewal. However, we have noticed there have been an unusual large number of failings from | ||
| + | this classroom.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mrs Puff: That's impossible. In all my years of teaching, only one student has failed my class.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr Fits: Yes, but he's failed 1,258,058 times. (shows folder with a bunch of files)<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Mrs Puff: You don't understand. Spongebob is unteachable.<br> |
| − | + | Mr Fits: We cannot blame the students for the incompetence of the teacher.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Honk honk! Beep beep! I'm ready to drive. Are you ready for my driving test today, Mrs Puff?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr Fits: Ok, Mrs Puff, if Spongebob fails this test, you will be replaced.<br> | |
| − | + | Mrs Puff: (in the boat with Spongebob & Mr Fits) Ok, Spongebob, let's demonstrate for Mr Fits everything I've taught you in | |
| − | + | ||
| − | Mrs | + | |
boating school. Now, what's the first thing we do before we start boating?<br> | boating school. Now, what's the first thing we do before we start boating?<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: (snaps fingers) Seat-belt-aroony. One second. (gets tangled in seat-belt then squeezes self through. As | |
| − | + | Spongebob is doing this, Mr Fits is writing on his notepad)<br> | |
| − | Mrs | + | Mrs Puff: Then what do you do?<br> |
| − | + | Spongebob: Start the engine?<br> | |
| − | + | Mrs Puff: Yes.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: (starts the boat) Now what do I do?<br> | |
| − | Mrs | + | Mrs Puff: Drive the boat. (Spongebob drives into a boat)<br> |
| + | Spongebob: Did I pass this time, Mrs Puff?<br> | ||
| − | + | Mrs Puff: No, Spongebob, you failed.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: I failed?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr Fits: It's not you that failed, Spongebob. It's Mrs Puff thats failed you. You are relieved of your teaching duties.<br> | |
| − | + | Mrs Puff: I won't be teaching Spongebob anymore? (laughs excitedly) No more Spongebob? I thought this day would never come. | |
| + | Goodbye, Spongebob! Have a nice life. (exhales her puffyness)<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: (in classroom) I got Mrs Puff fired. (new teachers breaks down door)<br> | |
| − | ( | + | Instructor: Hello, worthless students. I'm your new instructor. (breaks Mrs Puff's name in pieces) No one's ever failed my |
| + | class...that's lived through it. I can assure you these next 4 weeks will be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your | ||
| + | spine will break, your teeth will ache, your eyes will be bloodshot. (students are freaking out) You will drive out of this | ||
| + | school in style. All you will be carted out in your granny's handbasket. Everyone will follow the rules of the class. First | ||
| + | rule: No talking.<br> | ||
| − | + | Student #1: Does that mean... (instructor throws student through the door)<br> | |
| − | ( | + | Instructor: Second rule: No eating in my class. (takes out a box of bon-bons) Would anyone care for a bon-bon?<br> |
| − | + | Student #2: Uhh, I'll eat one. (students gasp. Student #2 walks up to the instructor)<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Pick your favorite. (student takes one and eats it) How's it taste?<br> | |
| − | + | Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: No eating in my classroom! (throws student #2 through another door) Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay | |
| + | in this class... (everyone but Spongebob run out) Looks like you're the man, Sponge.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: I am?<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: (outside) Do you wanna learn how to drive or what?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Yes, sir! I'm ready to drive (jumps in the boat)<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: What do you think you're doing?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Ready for my test, sir.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: (takes Spongebob out of the boat) You're not ready to drive yet until you learn that first. (shows roads will | |
| + | all sorts of obstacles) This is (the) most grueling driving course ever devised. You will learn every turn, bump, and crack | ||
| + | on it. You'll start out crawling it.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: Crawl?<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Hut two. Hut two. Hut two. Hut two. (Spongebob crawls forward)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Left turn. (turns left) Crack. Bump. Nickel. Hey a nickel!<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Keep your eyes on the road, cadet.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Pebble!! (crawls faster and more out of control. Gets the pebble stuck in his hand and rolls down the obstacle | |
| + | course then into the air, out of the water, then back down where the instructor catches him)<br> | ||
| − | + | Instructor: I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a weak pebble. What are you suppose to be learning in my class?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: How to drive, sir?<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Affirmative. But before you learn to drive, you must learn to crawl. Then you learn to walk and then you learn | |
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to run. But before you learn to walk, you must learn to crawl. I want you to crawl!<br> | to run. But before you learn to walk, you must learn to crawl. I want you to crawl!<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: Sir, yes, sir!!<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Now get out there! (Spongebob crawls around a hole then his instructor takes off his shoes. Spongebob carries | |
| + | the instructor on his back. Then he stops at a stop sign, and runs in and out of some radioactive waste) Every good boater | ||
| + | needs to know his vehicle inside and out. (hands Spongebob a wrench) Here, go take that boat apart. (Spongebob takes the | ||
| + | boat apart) I'm impressed, son. Put it back together again!<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: (laughs) That'll be easy.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Are you sure?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Um, yeah. You just put the jigamahoo on the doohicky and uhh... (laughs) I might need a couple minutes. (later, | |
| + | the instructor is sleeping) It's ready, serg!<br> | ||
| − | + | Instructor: Jumpin' jellyfish. (Spongebob put back together a rocket as it blasts off. Later, instructor is looking through | |
| + | some binoculars at Spongebob, who is wearing a hat with mirrors on it. Spongebob runs up to a red light and stops until it | ||
| + | turns green)<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: Watch for pedestrians. Check mirrors. Observe that speed limit. Watch for pedestrian!! (crashes through a lot of pedestrians) So, umm, how'd I do?<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: How'd you do? Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this pedestrian...HOW YOU DID!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Now I know this forwards, backwards, and sideways. Am I ready to get behind the wheel?<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Not quite. (puts blindfold on Spongebob) Now do it blindfolded. (spongebob gets run over by a boat)<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
Narrator: Several days later.<br> | Narrator: Several days later.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: 1003, 1004, 1005. (stops) Ooh, pebble #143. (steps over pebble) Ha! You will not trip me up pebble #143. 1006, | |
| + | 1007, 1008. (old lady pedestrian pops up) Old lady with a ham sandwich. 1009, 1010, 1011, 1012.<br> | ||
| − | + | Instructor: Congratulations. You're ready to get behind the wheel.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Really? I'm ready! I'm ready. I'm... (runs into a pole)<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: (now in boat) Let's see what I taught you, laddy.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Yes, sir! (drives boat) Left turn at pebble #143. (makes left turn) (pedestrian kid pops up. Spongebob stops) | |
| + | Kid with a ball. (Spongebob continues) Nice boy.<br> | ||
| − | + | Instructor: Nice driving. Now parellel park up ahead. (Spongebob parallel parks) Very good. (now at real exam) Now, boy, | |
| + | the time has come to show Mr Fits what you've learn.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: Yes, sir! Step 1: seatbelts. (puts on seatbelt with no problem)<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Excellent work, cadet. What's next?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Step 2 would be...ignite engine.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Step 3?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Step 3 would be... (takes out blindfold) ...engage blindfold.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: What? You can't drive a boat with a blindfold on. That's illegal.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: But I can't do it without a blindfold.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: Drive, boy! Drive! (Spongebob drives into a gas can blowing them out of the boating school) Mayday! Mayday! You're off course. (boat drives into 2 buildings then underground. Spurts out from a fire hydrant. Then crashes through a bakery and into a field where Mrs Puff is painting the scenary)<br> | |
| − | Mrs | + | Mrs Puff: Ah, I feel so surreaned now that I'm away from that homoscidal maniac, Spongebob. (Mrs Puff notices the boat and |
| + | attempts to paint something really quick. When boat runs into her, the painting shows Spongebob, the instructor, and Mr | ||
| + | Fits fearing their lives)<br> | ||
| − | + | Instructor: The brake son!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Aye aye, sir. (takes brake apart) There you go, sir. All I had to do was unscrew two of the bolts.<br> | |
| − | + | Instructor: I'm gonna stop this thing. Tell my wife I love her. (jumps in front of the boat in an attempt to stop it) Come | |
| + | get some! (boat runs over him)<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: Man down. Man down. (Spongebob drives into the city and into each building) Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Hey, Spongebob!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Sorry, Patick, I can't stop the boat right now.<br> | |
| − | Patrick: | + | Patrick: My pants!<br> |
| − | + | Spongebob: Hey, I can't see! (dodges traffic and pedestrians. Parallel parks) Did I pass?<br> | |
| − | Mr | + | Mr Fits: Well, if there was a 'destroy the city' part of the test, you would have.<br> |
| − | Patrick: (takes his pants off | + | Patrick: (takes his pants off Spongebobs head) The nerve of some people.<br> |
| − | Mr | + | Mr Fits: sorry, Spongebob, you failed again. Even our finest instructor could not teach you. Mrs Puff, you're hired |
| + | again.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: (at boating school) Hey, Mrs Puff, sorry that I'm unteachable.<br> | |
| − | Mrs | + | Mrs Puff: It's ok. Mr Fits gave me my teaching certiificate back. And your OCA was destroyed in the explosion, so it's as |
| + | if you never failed.<br> | ||
| − | + | Spongebob: I got you a welcome back gift, Mrs Puff. (shows name tag) I found all the pieces and glued them back together. I | |
| − | + | promise it won't take me a million tries this time. (Mrs Puff crie and the name tag comes apart) | |
| − | + | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
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