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Episode Transcript: Model Sponge
(Created page with "[At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror.] SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardi...") |
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[At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror.] | [At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror.] | ||
| − | SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean, then puts work hat on his head from his nose ] Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now to attack these floors! | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: [in his office, on the phone, chuckling] Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant! | + | '''SpongeBob''': You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean, then puts work hat on his head from his nose ] Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now to attack these floors! |
| − | SpongeBob: [chuckles] Sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates. [turns to reveal an ear on his back] | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: And he's been with me for such a long time now. | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': [in his office, on the phone, chuckling] Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant! |
| − | SpongeBob: [chuckles again] I am. | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today. | + | '''SpongeBob''': [chuckles] Sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates. [turns to reveal an ear on his back] |
| − | SpongeBob: Yep, he's gonna have to-- [notices, shocked] What? Let the little guy go?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward, who is sitting down] Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy! | + | |
| − | Squidward: [stands up] No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy. [walks away] | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': And he's been with me for such a long time now. |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement. [SpongeBob stands right next to Squidward in the workstation] | + | |
| − | Squidward: What do you think you're doing? | + | '''SpongeBob''': [chuckles again] I am. |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller, like a skyscraper] ...and it looks like it is you! | + | |
| − | Squidward: No, I'm not! [walks away] | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today. |
| − | SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! [becomes short again] We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs] | + | |
| − | Squidward: [off-screen] I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yep, he's gonna have to-- [notices, shocked] What? Let the little guy go?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward, who is sitting down] Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy! |
| − | SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. Whoa! [walks off balance, then falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I'm the little guy! [tears up, making another face] And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today. | + | |
| − | Squidward: [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As in I won't have to work with you ever again. [laughs] | + | '''Squidward''': [stands up] No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy. [walks away] |
| − | SpongeBob: [walks through the doors and becomes flattened, sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away] | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: [still on the phone] Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] Gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement. [SpongeBob stands right next to Squidward in the workstation] |
| + | |||
| + | '''Squidward''': What do you think you're doing? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller, like a skyscraper] ...and it looks like it is you! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Squidward''': No, I'm not! [walks away] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Squidward, wait! [becomes short again] We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Squidward''': [off-screen] I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. Whoa! [walks off balance, then falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I'm the little guy! [tears up, making another face] And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Squidward''': [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As in I won't have to work with you ever again. [laughs] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': [walks through the doors and becomes flattened, sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Krabs''': [still on the phone] Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] Gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed. | ||
| + | |||
[as scallop flies away, SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair] | [as scallop flies away, SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair] | ||
| − | Gary: [meows questioningly] | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, what's the use, Gary? [body pops up to his normal self] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears on the couch, then stops, noticing a rumble from a refrigerator Patrick is pulling with a rope] [sniffs sadly] Hi, Patrick. | + | '''Gary''': [meows questioningly] |
| − | Patrick: Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, SpongeBob. [happily] I'm just borrowing your refrigerator again. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: [confused] What happened to yours? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, what's the use, Gary? [body pops up to his normal self] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears on the couch, then stops, noticing a rumble from a refrigerator Patrick is pulling with a rope] [sniffs sadly] Hi, Patrick. |
| − | Patrick: Nothing, it's just empty. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: [sad] Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself, I do not need a refrigerator. | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, SpongeBob. [happily] I'm just borrowing your refrigerator again. |
| − | Patrick: Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, no I can't, Patrick. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you,[sniffs] or Gary, [sniffs again] or for anybody! | + | '''SpongeBob''': [confused] What happened to yours? |
| − | Patrick: [shocked] Oh, no! What are you gonna do?! | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: [sad] I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I've been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else. | + | '''Patrick''': Nothing, it's just empty. |
| − | Patrick: [gets an idea, happily] I know, SpongeBob! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job. [runs to couch, then sits on it] Kick back, watch some TV, [turns T.V on with remote, then holds a carton of Drinkable Sausage with a close-up shot of it] and chug down a carton on Drinkable Sausage! [drinks from the carton] | + | |
| − | Gary: [meows while sitting on some newspaper] | + | '''SpongeBob''': [sad] Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself, I do not need a refrigerator. |
| − | SpongeBob: [happily] Good, Gary! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds. [picks up one newspaper while noticing its dirty smell] Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones. [bubble transition to SpongeBob reading a clean newspaper] Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from fry cooking. [bubble transition to SpongeBob counting money at a bank while having his name tag on] 20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97. [flips money up with spatula, then chops it all up, some flying onto Fred's head, forming the money into a Krabby Patty, as seen in a close-up shot of it] Order up! [rings bell once, then employee takes SpongeBob's nametag off, causing SpongeBob to lose air inside of him] [bubble transition to SpongeBob hammering a nail while building a house] What do you think, boss? | + | |
| − | Carpenter: [looks at house, shocked] | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me. |
| − | SpongeBob: I guess I'm not a carpenter, Patrick. [walks in front of a billboard showing a live sponge] I need to start fresh. [some words on billboard sparkle as SpongeBob talks] With a job that feels...natural. Something that says, "This is a job for a sponge." Any idea where I can find a job like that, Patrick? | + | |
| − | Patrick: No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious! You should work at the Krusty Krab. They need a fry cook! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, no I can't, Patrick. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you,[sniffs] or Gary, [sniffs again] or for anybody! |
| − | SpongeBob: I can't, Patrick. That's the job I got fired from, remember? | + | |
| − | Patrick: Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to the sponge behind you. He looks happy. | + | '''Patrick''': [shocked] Oh, no! What are you gonna do?! |
| − | SpongeBob: That's just a billboard, Patrick. | + | |
| − | Patrick: Why don't you get a job as a billboard? | + | '''SpongeBob''': [sad] I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I've been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else. |
| − | SpongeBob: I...don't think that's physically possible, [happily] but I could audition to be a sponge model. | + | |
| − | Patrick: Fine, do it your way. | + | '''Patrick''': [gets an idea, happily] I know, SpongeBob! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job. [runs to couch, then sits on it] Kick back, watch some TV, [turns T.V on with remote, then holds a carton of |
| + | Drinkable Sausage with a close-up shot of it] and chug down a carton on Drinkable Sausage! [drinks from the carton]''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Gary''': [meows while sitting on some newspaper] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': [happily] Good, Gary! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds. [picks up one newspaper while noticing its dirty smell] Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones. [bubble transition to SpongeBob reading a clean newspaper] Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from fry cooking. [bubble transition to SpongeBob counting money at a bank while having his name tag on] 20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97. [flips money up with spatula, then chops it all up, some flying onto Fred's head, forming the money into a Krabby Patty, as seen in a close-up shot of it] Order up! [rings bell once, then employee takes SpongeBob's nametag off, causing SpongeBob to lose air inside of him] [bubble transition to SpongeBob hammering a nail while building a house] What do you think, boss? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Carpenter''': [looks at the house, shocked] Clamshells! What have you done, boy? [looks at a piece of paper showing what the real house looks like, while then looking at a house built by SpongeBob shaped into a Krabby Patty] I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich! [kicks SpongeBob and Patrick out of the construction site] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': I guess I'm not a carpenter, Patrick. [walks in front of a billboard showing a live sponge] I need to start fresh. [some words on billboard sparkle as SpongeBob talks] With a job that feels...natural. Something that says, "This is a job for a sponge." Any idea where I can find a job like that, Patrick? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious! You should work at the Krusty Krab. They need a fry cook! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': I can't, Patrick. That's the job I got fired from, remember? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to the sponge behind you. He looks happy. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': That's just a billboard, Patrick. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': Why don't you get a job as a billboard? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': I...don't think that's physically possible, [happily] but I could audition to be a sponge model. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': Fine, do it your way. | ||
| + | |||
[bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building] | [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building] | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know, Patrick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent. | + | |
| − | Patrick: Oh, you have the talent. But do you have the natural ability? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know, Patrick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent. |
| − | SpongeBob: Yeah, but...wait, isn't that the same thing? | + | |
| − | Patrick: Why don't you find out? | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, you have the talent. But do you have the natural ability? |
| − | SpongeBob: [quickly covers the door] Wait! I can't do this, Patrick. What if I don't stack up to the competition? Maybe I should just beg Mr. Krabs for my old job back. [starts walking out, but Patrick stops him] | + | |
| − | Patrick: No way! It's too late for that now. Krabs doesn't need you anymore. This is your chance to prove you don't need him. Now get in there and earn me some groceries! [pushes SpongeBob through the door to a | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, but...wait, isn't that the same thing? |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, well, want is a strong word. I'd like an audition, but if you've already cast it, that's fine if you cast it. [to Patrick] I think she's already cast it. We'd better go, Patrick. | + | |
| − | Casting Director: [stops SpongeBob and Patrick from walking out] Hold it. You want the audition, kid? You got it. | + | '''Patrick''': Why don't you find out? |
| − | SpongeBob: [turns his whole body around, happily] I did? | + | |
| − | Casting Director: Show me what you got. | + | '''SpongeBob''': [quickly covers the door] Wait! I can't do this, Patrick. What if I don't stack up to the competition? Maybe I should just beg Mr. Krabs for my old job back. [starts walking out, but Patrick stops him] |
| − | SpongeBob: [sweats, worried] Okay. Here goes. [clears throat] Patrick, please? [Patrick hands out a metal tool and hits it on his forehead, playing a note] ♪ Laaa! ♪ [clears throat again] Sorry. [keeps clearing throat and getting a perfect pitch at the same time, from high to low] | + | |
| − | Casting Director: Okay, okay, okay! Let's get on with this train wreck. | + | '''Patrick''': No way! It's too late for that now. Krabs doesn't need you anymore. This is your chance to prove you don't need him. Now get in there and earn me some groceries! [pushes SpongeBob through the door to a ladyfish, a casting director, looking at a clipboard] [to casting director] My friend here wants to audition for the sponge model role. |
| − | SpongeBob: Okay, getting on it. [clears throat yet again, then sings off-key] ♪ When you dream upon a wish, you'll be heartened to know, that hope fills your dish, to the brim! ♪ | + | |
| − | Casting Director: [unenthusiastically] All right, all right. Thank you. I've heard enough. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, well, want is a strong word. I'd like an audition, but if you've already cast it, that's fine if you cast it. [to Patrick] I think she's already cast it. We'd better go, Patrick. |
| − | SpongeBob: [runs closely to the casting director] How'd I do? | + | |
| − | Casting Director: Horribly. I've seen clams with more talent than you. [SpongeBob falls down] But since the role specifically calls for a real sponge, the part is yours. [SpongeBob slowly gets up] Here's the script. We start shooting tomorrow at 10. Don't be late. [SpongeBob rips himself in half, happily snatches the script, then jumps out of the building] | + | '''Casting Director''': [stops SpongeBob and Patrick from walking out] Hold it. You want the audition, kid? You got it.''' |
| − | SpongeBob: I guess a sponge can make it in this town. [his pupils turn into stars] I am going to be a star! [a crowd suddenly comes close to SpongeBob, cheering while holding camera and microphones, while a news reporter faces a camera close to SpongeBob] | + | |
| − | News Reporter: I'm standing here with the new face of television, Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants. [to SpongeBob] I'm sure the viewing audience would love to know, how does it feel to be the next big thing? | + | '''SpongeBob''': [turns his whole body around, happily] I did? |
| − | SpongeBob: Fantastic. [puts on sunglasses, then signs an autograph and waves at the crowd chanting, "SpongeBob! SpongeBob!"] | + | |
| + | '''Casting Director''': Show me what you got. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': [sweats, worried] Okay. Here goes. [clears throat] Patrick, please? [Patrick hands out a metal tool and hits it on his forehead, playing a note] ♪ Laaa! ♪ [clears throat again] Sorry. [keeps clearing throat and getting a perfect pitch at the same time, from high to low] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Casting Director''': Okay, okay, okay! Let's get on with this train wreck. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Okay, getting on it. [clears throat yet again, then sings off-key] ♪ When you dream upon a wish, you'll be heartened to know, that hope fills your dish, to the brim! ♪ | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Casting Director''': [unenthusiastically] All right, all right. Thank you. I've heard enough. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': [runs closely to the casting director] How'd I do? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Casting Director''': Horribly. I've seen clams with more talent than you. [SpongeBob falls down] But since the role specifically calls for a real sponge, the part is yours. [SpongeBob slowly gets up] Here's the script. We start shooting tomorrow at 10. Don't be late. [SpongeBob rips himself in half, happily snatches the script, then jumps out of the building] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': I guess a sponge can make it in this town. [his pupils turn into stars] I am going to be a star! [a crowd suddenly comes close to SpongeBob, cheering while holding camera and microphones, while a news reporter faces a camera close to SpongeBob] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''News Reporter''': I'm standing here with the new face of television, Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants. [to SpongeBob] I'm sure the viewing audience would love to know, how does it feel to be the next big thing? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Fantastic. [puts on sunglasses, then signs an autograph and waves at the crowd chanting, "SpongeBob! SpongeBob!"] | ||
[cut to SpongeBob with his eyes closed] | [cut to SpongeBob with his eyes closed] | ||
| − | Patrick: SpongeBob. Hey, SpongeBob. Did you say something? | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, yes I did, Patrick. [points to himself] I said, "You're looking at the new face of television." | + | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob. Hey, SpongeBob. Did you say something? |
| − | Patrick: All right! | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Well, I better go home and get some beauty sleep. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, yes I did, Patrick. [points to himself] I said, "You're looking at the new face of television." |
| − | Patrick: Yeah, beauty sleep! | + | |
| + | '''Patrick''': All right! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Well, I better go home and get some beauty sleep. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': Yeah, beauty sleep! | ||
[bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking on the road] | [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking on the road] | ||
| − | SpongeBob: That's right. You are looking at a changed sponge. But don't worry. I won't forget all the people who held me on the way up. | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: [walks by, carrying golf supplies and even wearing golf clothes] Afternoon, boy-o! | + | '''SpongeBob''': That's right. You are looking at a changed sponge. But don't worry. I won't forget all the people who held me on the way up. |
| − | SpongeBob: Ah, just as I was saying. I'd like to thank you for giving me my humble start. I won't forget you. [he and Patrick walk by] | + | |
| − | Mr. Krabs: [scratches his head] What was that about? Oh, probably just nonsense and babbling, as usual. [walks away] | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': [walks by, carrying golf supplies and even wearing golf clothes] Afternoon, boy-o! |
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Ah, just as I was saying. I'd like to thank you for giving me my humble start. I won't forget you. [he and Patrick walk by] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Krabs''': [scratches his head] What was that about? Oh, probably just nonsense and babbling, as usual. [walks away] | ||
| + | |||
[bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick on the street right next to SpongeBob's pineapple] | [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick on the street right next to SpongeBob's pineapple] | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Patrick, when next you see me, it shall be on the television. [walks into his house] | + | |
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, when next you see me, it shall be on the television. [walks into his house] | ||
| + | |||
[bubble transition to SpongeBob walking back into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building towards the casting director, working on a computer] | [bubble transition to SpongeBob walking back into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building towards the casting director, working on a computer] | ||
| − | Casting Director: Oh, you're back! | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: A star's first day is his most important. | + | '''Casting Director''': Oh, you're back! |
| − | Casting Director: Great. Let me see if they're ready on set. [through a microphone] SpongeBob's here, sir. Uh-huh. Okay, great. [to SpongeBob] Okay, you can go right in. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Yippee! [happily runs into the set, toward a spotlight] I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Director. | + | '''SpongeBob''': A star's first day is his most important. |
| − | Director: [with a French accent] Very well. [through a megaphone] Lose the pants! [a claw snatches SpongeBob's pants, making him naked] Hans! Where's my star?! [a live-action hand comes out of a dressing room and grabs SpongeBob] | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Whoa! What's happening? [lights turn on behind SpongeBob, showing a dirty bathroom set] Wh-wh-what's happening?! | + | '''Casting Director''': Great. Let me see if they're ready on set. [through a microphone] SpongeBob's here, sir. Uh-huh. Okay, great. [to SpongeBob] Okay, you can go right in. |
| − | Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom mixtures. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yippee! [happily runs into the set, toward a spotlight] I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Director. |
| − | Director: [mumbles angrily and quietly] Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil. [SpongeBob suddenly frowns] Roll speed! [a red light turns on from a camera] | + | |
| − | Charlie: [as a movie assistant, holding a movie clipboard] New Sponge Commercial: Take one. [closes clipboard] | + | '''Director''': [with a French accent] Very well. [through a megaphone] Lose the pants! [a claw snatches SpongeBob's pants, making him naked] Hans! Where's my star?! [a live-action hand comes out of a dressing room and grabs SpongeBob] |
| − | Director: [through a megaphone] Action! | + | |
| − | Announcer: [off-screen] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster. Get it cleaned up fast with...the new sponge! [while on camera, SpongeBob groans] Household chores are a snap with new sponge. It cleans sinks. [sink shines after being cleaned by a now dirty SpongeBob] Just look at that shine! New sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and grit. New sponge also cleans showers! [SpongeBob screams while cleaning the shower, which shines too] Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new! [SpongeBob sighs, tired] But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [as SpongeBob hears this, he looks at the toilet dirty inside before going straight in] | + | '''SpongeBob''': Whoa! What's happening? [lights turn on behind SpongeBob, showing a dirty bathroom set] Wh-wh-what's happening?! |
| − | SpongeBob: Nooo! [he suddenly stops right before he goes in] I can't do this! | + | |
| − | Director: [through a megaphone] Cut! | + | '''Director''': In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom mixtures. |
| − | SpongeBob: I'm sorry. I don't think I'm cut out for acting. | + | |
| − | Director: Was? You said you were professional actor. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil? |
| − | SpongeBob: Well, I'm not. [puts on his work hat] I am a fry cook. [holds up his spatula] That's what I am, and that's what I've always been! I'm sorry to waste your time, mister. [walks away] | + | |
| − | Director: Wait! Wait! | + | '''Director''': [mumbles angrily and quietly] Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil. [SpongeBob suddenly frowns] Roll speed! [a red light turns on from a camera] |
| + | |||
| + | '''Charlie''': [as a movie assistant, holding a movie clipboard] New Sponge Commercial: Take one. [closes clipboard] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Director''': [through a megaphone] Action! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Announcer''': [off-screen] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster. Get it cleaned up fast with...the new sponge! [while on camera, SpongeBob groans] Household chores are a snap with new sponge. It cleans sinks. [sink shines after being cleaned by a now dirty SpongeBob] Just look at that shine! New sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and grit. New sponge also cleans showers! [SpongeBob screams while cleaning the shower, which shines too] Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new! [SpongeBob sighs, tired] But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [as SpongeBob hears this, he looks at the toilet dirty inside before going straight in] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Nooo! [he suddenly stops right before he goes in] I can't do this! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Director''': [through a megaphone] Cut! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm sorry. I don't think I'm cut out for acting. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Director''': Was? You said you were professional actor. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Well, I'm not. [puts on his work hat] I am a fry cook. [holds up his spatula] That's what I am, and that's what I've always been! I'm sorry to waste your time, mister. [walks away] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Director''': Wait! Wait! | ||
| + | |||
[bubble transition to Mr. Krabs making a money pyramid in his office] | [bubble transition to Mr. Krabs making a money pyramid in his office] | ||
| − | Mr. Krabs: Ever so gently... | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: [slams door loudly, causing Mr. Krabs' money pyramid to fall down] Mr. Krabs! [while crying a trail of tears toward Mr. Krabs] Please let me back, please! I promise I'll do better. [hugs Mr. Krabs] Please. | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Ever so gently... |
| − | Mr. Krabs: Boy, what are you going on about?! | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: [sniffles] I heard you on the phone saying you were gonna let the little guy go. But I don't wanna go! Please don't let me go, Mr. Krabs! You're looking at the little guy that doesn't want to go. | + | '''SpongeBob''': [slams door loudly, causing Mr. Krabs' money pyramid to fall down] Mr. Krabs! [while crying a trail of tears toward Mr. Krabs] Please let me back, please! I promise I'll do better. [hugs Mr. Krabs] Please. |
| − | Mr. Krabs: All right, boy-o! I won't get rid of ya: on one condition. [SpongeBob happily nods] | + | |
| + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Boy, what are you going on about?! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': [sniffles] I heard you on the phone saying you were gonna let the little guy go. But I don't wanna go! Please don't let me go, Mr. Krabs! You're looking at the little guy that doesn't want to go. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Krabs''': All right, boy-o! I won't get rid of ya: on one condition. [SpongeBob happily nods] | ||
| + | |||
[bubble transition to SpongeBob happily mopping a toilet] | [bubble transition to SpongeBob happily mopping a toilet] | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, boy! This is the best job in the world! | + | |
| − | Hans: Hey, could you keep it down in there? [shown reading a newspaper in a stall while on a toilet] I'm trying to concentrate. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, boy! This is the best job in the world! |
| + | |||
| + | '''Hans''': Hey, could you keep it down in there? [shown reading a newspaper in a stall while on a toilet] I'm trying to concentrate. | ||
[episode ends] | [episode ends] | ||
Revision as of 20:21, 11 February 2021
[At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror.]
SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean, then puts work hat on his head from his nose ] Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now to attack these floors!
Mr. Krabs: [in his office, on the phone, chuckling] Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant!
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates. [turns to reveal an ear on his back]
Mr. Krabs: And he's been with me for such a long time now.
SpongeBob: [chuckles again] I am.
Mr. Krabs: But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today.
SpongeBob: Yep, he's gonna have to-- [notices, shocked] What? Let the little guy go?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward, who is sitting down] Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy!
Squidward: [stands up] No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy. [walks away]
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement. [SpongeBob stands right next to Squidward in the workstation]
Squidward: What do you think you're doing?
SpongeBob: Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller, like a skyscraper] ...and it looks like it is you!
Squidward: No, I'm not! [walks away]
SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! [becomes short again] We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs]
Squidward: [off-screen] I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!
SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. Whoa! [walks off balance, then falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I'm the little guy! [tears up, making another face] And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today.
Squidward: [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As in I won't have to work with you ever again. [laughs]
SpongeBob: [walks through the doors and becomes flattened, sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away]
Mr. Krabs: [still on the phone] Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] Gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed.
[as scallop flies away, SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair]
Gary: [meows questioningly]
SpongeBob: Oh, what's the use, Gary? [body pops up to his normal self] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears on the couch, then stops, noticing a rumble from a refrigerator Patrick is pulling with a rope] [sniffs sadly] Hi, Patrick.
Patrick: Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, SpongeBob. [happily] I'm just borrowing your refrigerator again.
SpongeBob: [confused] What happened to yours?
Patrick: Nothing, it's just empty.
SpongeBob: [sad] Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself, I do not need a refrigerator.
Patrick: Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me.
SpongeBob: Oh, no I can't, Patrick. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you,[sniffs] or Gary, [sniffs again] or for anybody!
Patrick: [shocked] Oh, no! What are you gonna do?!
SpongeBob: [sad] I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I've been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else.
Patrick: [gets an idea, happily] I know, SpongeBob! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job. [runs to couch, then sits on it] Kick back, watch some TV, [turns T.V on with remote, then holds a carton of Drinkable Sausage with a close-up shot of it] and chug down a carton on Drinkable Sausage! [drinks from the carton]
Gary: [meows while sitting on some newspaper]
SpongeBob: [happily] Good, Gary! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds. [picks up one newspaper while noticing its dirty smell] Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones. [bubble transition to SpongeBob reading a clean newspaper] Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from fry cooking. [bubble transition to SpongeBob counting money at a bank while having his name tag on] 20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97. [flips money up with spatula, then chops it all up, some flying onto Fred's head, forming the money into a Krabby Patty, as seen in a close-up shot of it] Order up! [rings bell once, then employee takes SpongeBob's nametag off, causing SpongeBob to lose air inside of him] [bubble transition to SpongeBob hammering a nail while building a house] What do you think, boss?
Carpenter: [looks at the house, shocked] Clamshells! What have you done, boy? [looks at a piece of paper showing what the real house looks like, while then looking at a house built by SpongeBob shaped into a Krabby Patty] I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich! [kicks SpongeBob and Patrick out of the construction site]
SpongeBob: I guess I'm not a carpenter, Patrick. [walks in front of a billboard showing a live sponge] I need to start fresh. [some words on billboard sparkle as SpongeBob talks] With a job that feels...natural. Something that says, "This is a job for a sponge." Any idea where I can find a job like that, Patrick?
Patrick: No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious! You should work at the Krusty Krab. They need a fry cook!
SpongeBob: I can't, Patrick. That's the job I got fired from, remember?
Patrick: Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to the sponge behind you. He looks happy.
SpongeBob: That's just a billboard, Patrick.
Patrick: Why don't you get a job as a billboard?
SpongeBob: I...don't think that's physically possible, [happily] but I could audition to be a sponge model.
Patrick: Fine, do it your way.
[bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building]
SpongeBob: Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know, Patrick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent.
Patrick: Oh, you have the talent. But do you have the natural ability?
SpongeBob: Yeah, but...wait, isn't that the same thing?
Patrick: Why don't you find out?
SpongeBob: [quickly covers the door] Wait! I can't do this, Patrick. What if I don't stack up to the competition? Maybe I should just beg Mr. Krabs for my old job back. [starts walking out, but Patrick stops him]
Patrick: No way! It's too late for that now. Krabs doesn't need you anymore. This is your chance to prove you don't need him. Now get in there and earn me some groceries! [pushes SpongeBob through the door to a ladyfish, a casting director, looking at a clipboard] [to casting director] My friend here wants to audition for the sponge model role.
SpongeBob: Oh, well, want is a strong word. I'd like an audition, but if you've already cast it, that's fine if you cast it. [to Patrick] I think she's already cast it. We'd better go, Patrick.
Casting Director: [stops SpongeBob and Patrick from walking out] Hold it. You want the audition, kid? You got it.
SpongeBob: [turns his whole body around, happily] I did?
Casting Director: Show me what you got.
SpongeBob: [sweats, worried] Okay. Here goes. [clears throat] Patrick, please? [Patrick hands out a metal tool and hits it on his forehead, playing a note] ♪ Laaa! ♪ [clears throat again] Sorry. [keeps clearing throat and getting a perfect pitch at the same time, from high to low]
Casting Director: Okay, okay, okay! Let's get on with this train wreck.
SpongeBob: Okay, getting on it. [clears throat yet again, then sings off-key] ♪ When you dream upon a wish, you'll be heartened to know, that hope fills your dish, to the brim! ♪
Casting Director: [unenthusiastically] All right, all right. Thank you. I've heard enough.
SpongeBob: [runs closely to the casting director] How'd I do?
Casting Director: Horribly. I've seen clams with more talent than you. [SpongeBob falls down] But since the role specifically calls for a real sponge, the part is yours. [SpongeBob slowly gets up] Here's the script. We start shooting tomorrow at 10. Don't be late. [SpongeBob rips himself in half, happily snatches the script, then jumps out of the building]
SpongeBob: I guess a sponge can make it in this town. [his pupils turn into stars] I am going to be a star! [a crowd suddenly comes close to SpongeBob, cheering while holding camera and microphones, while a news reporter faces a camera close to SpongeBob]
News Reporter: I'm standing here with the new face of television, Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants. [to SpongeBob] I'm sure the viewing audience would love to know, how does it feel to be the next big thing?
SpongeBob: Fantastic. [puts on sunglasses, then signs an autograph and waves at the crowd chanting, "SpongeBob! SpongeBob!"] [cut to SpongeBob with his eyes closed]
Patrick: SpongeBob. Hey, SpongeBob. Did you say something?
SpongeBob: Oh, yes I did, Patrick. [points to himself] I said, "You're looking at the new face of television."
Patrick: All right!
SpongeBob: Well, I better go home and get some beauty sleep.
Patrick: Yeah, beauty sleep! [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking on the road]
SpongeBob: That's right. You are looking at a changed sponge. But don't worry. I won't forget all the people who held me on the way up.
Mr. Krabs: [walks by, carrying golf supplies and even wearing golf clothes] Afternoon, boy-o!
SpongeBob: Ah, just as I was saying. I'd like to thank you for giving me my humble start. I won't forget you. [he and Patrick walk by]
Mr. Krabs: [scratches his head] What was that about? Oh, probably just nonsense and babbling, as usual. [walks away]
[bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick on the street right next to SpongeBob's pineapple]
SpongeBob: Patrick, when next you see me, it shall be on the television. [walks into his house]
[bubble transition to SpongeBob walking back into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building towards the casting director, working on a computer]
Casting Director: Oh, you're back!
SpongeBob: A star's first day is his most important.
Casting Director: Great. Let me see if they're ready on set. [through a microphone] SpongeBob's here, sir. Uh-huh. Okay, great. [to SpongeBob] Okay, you can go right in.
SpongeBob: Yippee! [happily runs into the set, toward a spotlight] I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Director.
Director: [with a French accent] Very well. [through a megaphone] Lose the pants! [a claw snatches SpongeBob's pants, making him naked] Hans! Where's my star?! [a live-action hand comes out of a dressing room and grabs SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Whoa! What's happening? [lights turn on behind SpongeBob, showing a dirty bathroom set] Wh-wh-what's happening?!
Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom mixtures.
SpongeBob: Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil?
Director: [mumbles angrily and quietly] Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil. [SpongeBob suddenly frowns] Roll speed! [a red light turns on from a camera]
Charlie: [as a movie assistant, holding a movie clipboard] New Sponge Commercial: Take one. [closes clipboard]
Director: [through a megaphone] Action!
Announcer: [off-screen] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster. Get it cleaned up fast with...the new sponge! [while on camera, SpongeBob groans] Household chores are a snap with new sponge. It cleans sinks. [sink shines after being cleaned by a now dirty SpongeBob] Just look at that shine! New sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and grit. New sponge also cleans showers! [SpongeBob screams while cleaning the shower, which shines too] Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new! [SpongeBob sighs, tired] But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [as SpongeBob hears this, he looks at the toilet dirty inside before going straight in]
SpongeBob: Nooo! [he suddenly stops right before he goes in] I can't do this!
Director: [through a megaphone] Cut!
SpongeBob: I'm sorry. I don't think I'm cut out for acting.
Director: Was? You said you were professional actor.
SpongeBob: Well, I'm not. [puts on his work hat] I am a fry cook. [holds up his spatula] That's what I am, and that's what I've always been! I'm sorry to waste your time, mister. [walks away]
Director: Wait! Wait!
[bubble transition to Mr. Krabs making a money pyramid in his office]
Mr. Krabs: Ever so gently...
SpongeBob: [slams door loudly, causing Mr. Krabs' money pyramid to fall down] Mr. Krabs! [while crying a trail of tears toward Mr. Krabs] Please let me back, please! I promise I'll do better. [hugs Mr. Krabs] Please.
Mr. Krabs: Boy, what are you going on about?!
SpongeBob: [sniffles] I heard you on the phone saying you were gonna let the little guy go. But I don't wanna go! Please don't let me go, Mr. Krabs! You're looking at the little guy that doesn't want to go.
Mr. Krabs: All right, boy-o! I won't get rid of ya: on one condition. [SpongeBob happily nods]
[bubble transition to SpongeBob happily mopping a toilet]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! This is the best job in the world!
Hans: Hey, could you keep it down in there? [shown reading a newspaper in a stall while on a toilet] I'm trying to concentrate. [episode ends]
