Please note: Due to constant attempts by spambots to gain access to SpongePedia, account creation is currently disabled. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You are not logged in. Please log in to get the full benefit of SpongePedia.
For further questions go to SpongePedia:Contents !
Editing Episode Transcript: Life of Crime
Warning: You are not logged in.
Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.The edit can be undone.
Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
| Latest revision | Your text | ||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob | + | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[Patrick Star|Patrick | + | *[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] |
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | ||
*[[Lou]] | *[[Lou]] | ||
*[[Police|Officer Malley]] | *[[Police|Officer Malley]] | ||
*[[Police|Officer Durado]] | *[[Police|Officer Durado]] | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| Line 28: | Line 22: | ||
(Open at the Krusty Krab. It’s only a shot of the building. A voice comes on from the television playing inside the K.K.)<br> | (Open at the Krusty Krab. It’s only a shot of the building. A voice comes on from the television playing inside the K.K.)<br> | ||
| − | '''TV Announcer:''' And now, back to Crustacean | + | '''TV Announcer:''' And now, back to Crustacean Theatre! |
(Cut to shot of B/W TV show with a crustacean sleeping on the ocean floor wearing a traditional crab shell called a hermit crab. A bigger crab shows up, laughing menacingly, and steals the little crab’s shell. The little crab wakes up suddenly. The bigger crab | (Cut to shot of B/W TV show with a crustacean sleeping on the ocean floor wearing a traditional crab shell called a hermit crab. A bigger crab shows up, laughing menacingly, and steals the little crab’s shell. The little crab wakes up suddenly. The bigger crab | ||
| Line 37: | Line 31: | ||
(Some policemen show up.)<br> | (Some policemen show up.)<br> | ||
| − | '''Cop #1:''' Which way | + | '''Cop #1:''' Which way did he go?<br> |
| − | '''Little Crab: | + | '''Little Crab:''' (pointing to the direction the thief ran) He went that way!<br> |
| − | (The policemen run after the thief and catch him. Cut to shot of jail bars going down with the crab | + | (The policemen run after the thief and catch him. Cut to shot of jail bars going down with the crab thief behind it)<br> |
| − | (Cut to shot of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick watching the | + | '''Thief:''' Curses! Foiled again!<br> |
| + | |||
| + | (Cut to shot of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick watching the television)<br> | ||
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What a no-good eel-in-a-kelp that guy was. There ain’t nothing worse than a thief. Thieves need to be locked up | '''Mr. Krabs:''' What a no-good eel-in-a-kelp that guy was. There ain’t nothing worse than a thief. Thieves need to be locked up | ||
| Line 68: | Line 64: | ||
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I, uhh…<br> | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I, uhh…<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': (holds up | + | '''Patrick''': (holds up towel from the “Sizzling Spring Sauna”) What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna?<br> |
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Umm…<br> | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Umm…<br> | ||
| Line 99: | Line 95: | ||
'''Patrick''': But I don’t work here!<br> | '''Patrick''': But I don’t work here!<br> | ||
| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' See you later! (Takes out | + | '''Mr. Krabs:''' See you later! (Takes out Mr.s. Puff’s hair curlers) Oh, that was a close one.<br> |
(Bubbles go up as the scene changes to Bikini Bottom Park, where people are frolicking and gamboling around. SpongeBob | (Bubbles go up as the scene changes to Bikini Bottom Park, where people are frolicking and gamboling around. SpongeBob | ||
| Line 114: | Line 110: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today?<br> | ||
| − | (Patrick stops after | + | (Patrick stops after seeing a balloon cart)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': | + | '''Patrick''': (gasp) I know what I want to do today! I need some money. (Patrick looks in both his empty pockets, and then |
decides to look in his belly button. All that is there are some lint, a paper clip and a ticket) Oh, I don’t have any | decides to look in his belly button. All that is there are some lint, a paper clip and a ticket) Oh, I don’t have any | ||
| − | money | + | money. (Pleading to SpongeBob) SpongeBob, I want a balloon really, really badly! (His eye veins start growing.) REALLY, |
REALLY BADLY! (Backs off)<br> | REALLY BADLY! (Backs off)<br> | ||
| Line 127: | Line 123: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh oh, I’m broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Uh oh, I’m broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | ''''''Patrick''': '''No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don’t we just borrow the balloon | + | ''''''Patrick''': '''No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don’t we just borrow the balloon?<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!<br> | ||
| Line 162: | Line 158: | ||
'''Patrick''': And with a whale!<br> | '''Patrick''': And with a whale!<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob | + | '''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' We love borrowing!<br> |
| − | ( | + | (The balloon pops. Both look flabbergasted and sullen.)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob | + | '''SpongeBob:''' It popped?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': How are we going to return it now SpongeBob | + | (Both take another look, still quiet. They realize that it popped and start screaming.)<br> |
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': How are we going to return it now, SpongeBob?<br> | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' (On the ground, picking up the balloon shards) I got the pieces!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' (On the ground, picking up the balloon shards) I got the pieces!<br> | ||
| Line 174: | Line 172: | ||
'''Patrick''': (put his hands in the, umm, “air”) I got the air!<br> | '''Patrick''': (put his hands in the, umm, “air”) I got the air!<br> | ||
| − | + | (The two hectically try to put the two components back together, but can’t.)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' We popped the balloon! We can’t return it! We’re thieves! We have to confess | + | '''SpongeBob:''' We popped the balloon! We can’t return it! We’re thieves! We have to confess.<br> |
'''Patrick''': Confess? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about | '''Patrick''': Confess? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about | ||
| − | some dumb mail fraud scheme or a highjacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they’re going to lock us up forever | + | some dumb mail fraud scheme or a highjacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they’re going to lock us up forever.<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' (covering Patrick’s mouth so no one can hear him) You’re right, we’ve just got to keep our heads. Act normal. | '''SpongeBob:''' (covering Patrick’s mouth so no one can hear him) You’re right, we’ve just got to keep our heads. Act normal. | ||
| Line 189: | Line 187: | ||
(A crowd gathers around admiring the show)<br> | (A crowd gathers around admiring the show)<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob | + | '''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' (yelling) It’s not working! |
'''Squidward (offscreen)''' I really thought it would work. | '''Squidward (offscreen)''' I really thought it would work. | ||
| Line 240: | Line 238: | ||
'''Patrick''': Uhh!<br> | '''Patrick''': Uhh!<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (saddened) No more Krabby Patties. No more getting mail | + | '''SpongeBob:''' (saddened) No more Krabby Patties. No more getting mail*. No more Gary. No more movies. No more Squidward. No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs. No more anything. <br> |
'''Patrick''': (crying) I want ice cream!<br> | '''Patrick''': (crying) I want ice cream!<br> | ||
| Line 249: | Line 247: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?<br> | ||
| − | (A picture of a strong, muscular man shows up. He is wearing | + | (A picture of a strong, muscular German man shows up. He is wearing nothing but flower-styled shorts.)<br> |
| − | '''Muscleman:''' | + | '''Muscleman:''' Yea! buns and thighs.<br> |
(Back to fire scene)<br> | (Back to fire scene)<br> | ||
| Line 295: | Line 293: | ||
'''Patrick''': (cheering) Rectangles!<br> | '''Patrick''': (cheering) Rectangles!<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Not just any | + | '''SpongeBob:''' Not just any rectangles…Candy bars. (Patrick stares at it, amazed)<br> |
'''Patrick''': Ohh!<br> | '''Patrick''': Ohh!<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives | + | '''SpongeBob:''' All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives. (Gives one to Patrick)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Thanks SpongeBob | + | '''Patrick''': Thanks SpongeBob. (Stupidly) I think I’ll eat it now. (Takes big bite of the still-wrapped chocolate bar, |
| − | finishes the rest and then sighs) I think I’ll eat it now | + | finishes the rest and then sighs) I think I’ll eat it now. (Takes another big bite, but realizes it’s just his hand) Oww! |
| − | Where’d my candy bar go? (Starts digging in sand) I must have dropped it | + | Where’d my candy bar go? (Starts digging in sand) I must have dropped it.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' You just ate it Pat. It’s all over your face.<br> | + | '''SpongeBob:''' You just ate it, Pat. It’s all over your face.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': (still looking) Where’d it go? | + | '''Patrick''': (still looking) Where’d it go? I’m gonna to starve. (Digs a big hole) Where’d it go?<br> |
(The sand from Patrick’s digging-like-a-dog covers SpongeBob. Patrick’s head pops up under SpongeBob)<br> | (The sand from Patrick’s digging-like-a-dog covers SpongeBob. Patrick’s head pops up under SpongeBob)<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': I can’t find it! Where could it possibly be? | + | '''Patrick''': I can’t find it! Where could it possibly be? (Looks up and sees SpongeBob with his candy bar) Ah hah!<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' What?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' What?<br> | ||
| Line 321: | Line 319: | ||
'''Patrick''': Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? Once a thief always a thief.<br> | '''Patrick''': Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? Once a thief always a thief.<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' You ate | + | '''SpongeBob:''' You ate yours’, (points to his candy bar) this is mine.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': You took my only food | + | '''Patrick''': You took my only food, (camera pans down to show Patrick’s stomach blasting with cellulite) now I’m going to starve.<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' (nicely) Here Patrick, just take half of mine.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' (nicely) Here Patrick, just take half of mine.<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Yours? You mean mine | + | '''Patrick''': Yours? You mean mine.<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want it or what?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Do you want it or what?<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': I don’t want it unless you admit you took it | + | '''Patrick''': I don’t want it unless you admit you took it.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' This is my candy bar | + | '''SpongeBob:''' This is my candy bar.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Liar, liar, plants for hire | + | '''Patrick''': Liar, liar, plants for hire.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' It’s | + | '''SpongeBob:''' It’s “pants on fire”, Patrick.<br> |
'''Patrick''': Well, you would know, liar.<br> | '''Patrick''': Well, you would know, liar.<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Well, if you’re going to be that way, I’ll eat it myself | + | '''SpongeBob:''' Well, if you’re going to be that way, I’ll eat it myself.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': You | + | '''Patrick''': You better not!<br> |
(SpongeBob rips open the wrapper)<br> | (SpongeBob rips open the wrapper)<br> | ||
| Line 372: | Line 370: | ||
(SpongeBob licks the bar all around while Patrick screams. Then SpongeBob eats the bar.)<br> | (SpongeBob licks the bar all around while Patrick screams. Then SpongeBob eats the bar.)<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': (angrily | + | '''Patrick''': (angrily) You’re a crazy person! I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon.<br> |
'''SpongeBob:''' Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?<br> | ||
| Line 427: | Line 425: | ||
'''Patrick''': You said it.<br> | '''Patrick''': You said it.<br> | ||
| − | (They put both their together, but Patrick’s is already eaten. Patrick’s mouth is covered with some lollipop residue.)<br> | + | (They put both their lollipops together, but Patrick’s is already eaten. Patrick’s mouth is covered with some lollipop residue.)<br> |
| + | |||
| + | '''Patrick''': All right! Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop? (Everyone starts laughing.)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh brother. | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': | + | '''Patrick''': I mean it! |
{{Transcripts/Season 2}} | {{Transcripts/Season 2}} | ||
