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Editing Episode Transcript: Krabs vs. Plankton
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| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Krabs vs. Plankton]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
*[[Richard A. Bottomfeeder]] | *[[Richard A. Bottomfeeder]] | ||
| − | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | + | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] [[Image:Krabsgegen2.jpg|thumb|right|Plankton pretending to be crippled]] |
| + | *[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] | ||
| + | *[[Squidward]] | ||
*[[Krusty Krab]] Customers | *[[Krusty Krab]] Customers | ||
| + | *[[Karen]] (Plankton's computer wife) | ||
*[[Judge StickleBack]] | *[[Judge StickleBack]] | ||
*Jury Members (some of them are Phil, [[Tom]] and Annette) | *Jury Members (some of them are Phil, [[Tom]] and Annette) | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| − | |||
| − | + | (Open on the Chum Bucket. A clam crows like a rooster, a seahorse smacks it. Cut to a close-up of Plankton's face. He has his eyes closed, and then slowly opens them to show its veins.)<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Plankton: (drearily) And so passes another sleepless night, haunted by my inability to steal even a single Krabby Patty. | |
| + | (Gets up and walks to his computer wife, Karen)<br> | ||
| − | + | Karen: Maybe today will be the day?<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Thank you for your patronizing words, computer wife. (Walks towards the doors of the Chum Bucket)<br> | |
| − | + | Karen: Do you even have a plan?<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Plan, shman. I'm going to wing it. What's the worst thing that could happen? (Bubbles rise, transitions to the | |
| + | Krusty Krab. Plankton walks through the door.) I'm in. That was easy. Maybe today is the day I'm going to steal the Krabby | ||
| + | Patty formula...(He slips and falls into a puddle of water)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Careful, I just mopped there.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (Walks towards them) Look at you, Plankton. Once again you've fallen flat on your back in a pathetic attempt to | |
| + | steal me formula. (Holds a Krabby Patty in front of his face) Though you've tried and tried, you haven't had the smallest | ||
| + | nibble of my delicious formula. (Plankton tries to bite it, but Mr. Krabs takes it away) And you never will! (Laughs) How | ||
| + | do you sleep at night, knowing you're a complete failure? (Walks away laughing)<br> | ||
| − | + | Male Customer #1: (Talking to the person next to him, commenting on the wet floor SpongeBob was mopping) There really | |
| + | should be a "Wet Floor" sign.<br> | ||
| − | + | Male Customer #2: Yeah, if that were me who slipped, I'd sue old man Krabs for all he's got.<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Does that include the Krabby Patty formula?<br> | |
| − | + | Male Customer #1: Of course.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | ''' | + | Plankton: (ponders the thought and then fakes an injury and starts screaming) Oh, the pain! I can't feel my arms and legs; |
| + | I think they're broken. I'll have to sue for my pain and suffering.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (bursting through his office's door) Sue?!<br> | |
| − | + | Female Customer #1: Oh, that looks bad.<br> | |
| − | + | Male Customer #3: Uh-oh<br> | |
| − | + | Female Customer #2: Poor little man.<br> | |
| − | + | (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs enter the frame and look at each other. Transition to ambulance workers carrying Plankton in a | |
| + | gurney) | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Wait! Hold up a second! Plankton, we don't need to drag this little incident into court, do we?<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Well...if you transfer the Krabby Patty formula to me, I'll forget your gross negligence.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Scoundrel! You'll have me formula when you pry it from me lifeless claws!<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: (laughs menacingly, then points at Mr. Krabs) See you in court, Krabs! Uh, I mean...(stops pointing) oh the pain! | |
| + | The deep-frying pain!<br> | ||
| + | (The ambulance workers carry the gurney off and the scene transitions to the inside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is pacing | ||
| − | + | back and forth, with Squidward and SpongeBob near him.)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I'm in a blue ruin. I'm doomed!<br> | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I will do whatever it takes to keep the Krusty Krab formula from getting into Plankton's |
| + | evil hands.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What I really need is a good lawyer.<br> | |
| − | + | (A lawyer with a gray suit, hair parted to one side and wearing glasses zooms into the frame)<br> | |
| − | + | Lawyer: Hello, did somebody say "lawyer"? (Holds out his business card) Richard A. Bottomfeeder, Attorney at Law. I couldn't help but notice that despicable display.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: So, uhh, how much is this going to cost me?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Richard: Actually, I won't charge you a dime unless we win.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | ' | + | (Mr. Krabs' eyes turn into American dollar signs.)<br> |
| − | + | Richard: In fact, I think we should counter sue for everything Plankton owns.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | ' | + | (Mr. Krabs' eyes turn into gold bars. The weight on them makes him fall over.)<br> |
| − | + | Richard: (points at Mr. Krabs) Does that happen a lot?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: No, they're usually silver.<br> | |
| − | + | (Scene transitions to SpongeBob strolling into Mr. Krabs' office)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What is it, lad?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I thought you might want to hear my testimony for when you call me as a character witness. I've been rehearsing | |
| + | it.<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Actually, SpongeBob, we won't be needing any testimony from you. Why, you'll be more of a...(Richard whispers | |
| + | into his ear) of a liability than an asset.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: But I...<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Ah, run along. Make things ship-shape for my victory celebration. I've got to get to the courthouse early. | |
| + | There's only a few free parking places.<br> | ||
| − | + | (The lawyer grabs his briefcase and walks outside the door with it.)<br> | |
| − | + | Richard: Oh, this is going to be a slam-dunk...(he slips and falls on the floor)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh no! Mr. Krabs' lawyer! Speak to me!<br> | |
| − | + | Richard: (weakly) Writhe...with pain...can't move.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: But what about Mr. Krabs's case?<br> | |
| − | + | Richard: Looks like you're going to have to handle this one, son.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: But, I'm a...a liability.<br> | |
| − | + | Richard: Everything you need to win (a part of his body snaps) is in this here case. (shows SpongeBob his briefcase)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (swipes the case from him) Really? Everything?<br> | |
| − | + | Richard: Uh huh. Everything but a suit.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: A suit? Ballad where I could get a suit.<br> | |
| − | + | (Scene changes to the Bikini Bottom Court House. Mock television courtroom cases sounds. Plankton in a wheelchair enters | |
| + | the courtroom and precedes to Mr. Krabs)<br> | ||
| − | ' | + | Plankton: I'll give you one last chance. I'll drop the charges if you give me the formula.<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (yelling) Never, you little runt! (The court audience gasps)<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: (dramatically) Oww, oww! My little arm! (Audience gasps)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What? No. I didn't lay a claw on him.<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Oww! My other arm! (Audience gasps)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: He's lying! Bah!<br> | |
| − | + | (Judge's gavel knocks and the two proceed to their desk)<br> | |
| − | + | Bailiff: Court will come to order. The Honorable Judge Tickleback presiding.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Judge: Mr. Krabs, where is your attorney?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (hesitantly) I don't know where he could be.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | (The courtroom door bursts open, with SpongeBob standing there in a gray suit, similar to the previous lawyer's.)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Here I am!<br> | |
| − | + | Judge: Thank you for joining us, Mr....uhh...<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (placing his briefcase on the desk) SpongeBob LawyerPants, your honor.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (Through his teeth) What are you doing here, SpongeBob?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Your lawyer, umm, fell down on the job, but don't worry Mr. Krabs, I have everything under control. It's uhh, all in here (rubs his briefcase).<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Really?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yep, right in here. (tries to unlock the briefcase, but can't)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Is there a problem?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Umm...your lawyer didn't give me the combination.<br> | |
| − | + | Lawyer: Is the plaintiff ready to proceed?<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Yes, your honor. I'll try. (Moves his wheelchair to the jury box. He "owws" in pain on the way there.) I wasn't | |
| + | always the tortured shell of protozoa that writhes in pain before you today. (Starts crying) I was a vibrant, carefree, | ||
| + | happy-go-lucky, single cell.<br> | ||
| − | + | (SpongeBob tries to split the briefcase in half, but splits himself. Mr. Krabs leans over.)<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Pull yourself together, boy.<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Then came the fateful day that I paid an innocent visit to the deathtrap known as the Krusty Krab.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: How's it coming lad?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'm on the case. (Takes a kitchen knife and tries to pry open the briefcase)<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Plankton: Upon entering said establishment, I found myself without any warning, slipping and finally falling onto a hard, | |
| + | unforgiving floor (SpongeBob continues with the knife) that had been intentionally (the knife shoots him to the light on | ||
| + | the roof) covered with a viscous fluid.<br> | ||
| − | + | (SpongeBob puts a bomb head on his head)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Bombs away! (He drops onto the briefcase like a bomb, but nothing happens. SpongeBob drops off the desk and onto the floor.)<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Are you quite finished? Well, was I. Oh yeah. But the words part in, my dreams of completing of marathon like I promise my old gramy, it be debt. I'm sorry, gram gram, I'm sorry. (crying) Thank you, for your kind attention, suckers. <br> | |
| − | + | Judge: Is your defents, have in opening statement. | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yes, your honor. Poor, gram gram! | |
| − | + | (Transitions to Mr. Krabs on the stand)<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: (presents a "wet floor" sign to Mr. Krabs) Mr. Krabs, can you identify this item?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: It's a "wet floor" sign.<br> | |
| − | + | Plankton: Do you own one?<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Uhh...well...umm...No, I don't. (Everyone gasps) No, no. You don't understand. I had to make some tough business | |
| + | decisions and the sign seemed so superfluous.<br> | ||
| − | + | Plankton: No more questions.<br> | |
| − | + | (SpongeBob tries using a screwdriver to open the case)<br> | |
| − | + | Judge: Your witness, Mr. LawyerPants.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Huh?<br> | |
| − | + | Judge: Sometime today, Mr. Pants.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: May it please the court, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My client has been called cheap (Mr. Krabs starts | |
| + | sweating), miserly and chronically tight-fisted. But, if he were as cheap as the prosecution claims he is, would he be able to sit there quietly, while I took out a dollar (takes out a dollar) and dropped it in a blender (drops the dollar in a blender)? (Mr. Krabs gasps. SpongeBob presses the "obliterate" button on the blender.)<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: No! No-ho-ho! (Runs and grabs the blender. He starts grabbing the piece of shredded dollar from the air) Daddy's | |
| + | got ya. Daddy's here. (The jury talks amongst themselves) A little glue, a little tape. It'll be right as rain. (He walks | ||
| + | off, but then walks back to pick up a stranded piece of dollar) Daddy didn't forget ya.<br> | ||
| − | + | Judge: Does the defense have any witness to call?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yes, your honor. Defense calls Squidward to the stand.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (rests in his chair) Ahh, Squidward, a loyal employee.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Mr., uhh, Squidward, is it? My client has been called cheap. Would you agree with the ludicrous statement?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Yes.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Allow me to rephrase the question. Can you tell the court of some instance of Mr. Krabs' generosity in any way? | |
| + | <br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Nope. Can I go now? One day off in three years and I have to spend it testifying? (The jury talks amongst | |
| + | themselves)<br> | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (Looking scared, he starts taking a nail and hammer and tries to open the briefcase) Must...open...case.<br> | |
| − | + | (Transition to SpongeBob question something else)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: So it was you who made the floor slippery, wasn't it?<br> | |
| − | + | (The questioned is a mop and does not answer him)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Answer the question! Need I remind you that you, sir are under oath?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, it'll do. After all, it's free! | + | Mr. Krabs: I'm doomed.<br> |
| + | |||
| + | (Transition to SpongeBob still trying to open the briefcase)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: You may as well give up on that case, me boy. My goose is cooked.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: (gasps) Mr. Krabs, I'm surprised at you. We can't give up just because things look bleak. This trial will be won | ||
| + | by what's in your heart, not what's in this dumb old case. (He hits the case. The case then opens up) It's open!<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | (They lift the case.)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: It's...<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | (Shows that the thing inside the briefcase is a Krabby Patty)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: It's just his lunch. Or is it?<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | (A light bulb moves out of SpongeBob's head and starts glowing)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: Defense calls Plankton to the stand.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | (Later, when he's on the stand)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: Why did you go into the Krusty Krab that day?<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Plankton: To, you know. Say hello to my once good friend, Mr. Krabs. What?<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: Are you sure it wasn't to make off with one of these? (Shows Plankton a Krabby Patty. Plankton starts licking | ||
| + | his lips.) Gotcha. Weren't you there to steal the formula of the most delicious, sweet smelling sandwich known to Bikini | ||
| + | Bottom? Krabby Patty.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Plankton: (continuously sweating) Uhh...uhh...uhh (tries to bite the sandwich, but SpongeBob takes it away. He takes off | ||
| + | his fake casts) I can't take it! Gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme! (Jumps for the sandwich and grabs it. He starts running off, | ||
| + | yelping) Yippey! Finally, it's mine!<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: (Grabbing the sandwich from Plankton) I'll take that!<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Plankton: Huh? No, no!<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Once again, Plankton, the sweetest of life's joys has eluded your grasp. (Eats the Krabby Patty)<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Plankton: No, no, no!<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Judge: (bangs gavel) Has the jury reached a verdict?<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Head Jury Member: We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty...but he is cheap.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Thank you, SpongeBob. I was foolish not to accept your help from the beginning.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: That's ok, Mr. Krabs. I made you a present.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: A present? For me?<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | SpongeBob: Close your eyes and hold out your hand. (Mr. Krabs does so. SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs a "wet floor" sign with | ||
| + | many nails in it. Mr. Krabs grabs it and starts yelling in pain.) It's a "wet floor" sign. I made it myself.<br> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Well, it'll do. After all, it's free! | ||
{{Transcripts/Season 4}} | {{Transcripts/Season 4}} | ||
| + | |||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | {{Slogan}} | ||
