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Editing Episode Transcript: Idiot Box
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| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Idiot Box]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Patrick]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Squidward]] |
| − | *Mailman | + | *[[Mailman]] |
*[[Gary]] | *[[Gary]] | ||
| − | *Garbage fish | + | *[[Garbage fish]] |
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| + | |||
SpongeBob: See anything yet, Patrick?<br> | SpongeBob: See anything yet, Patrick?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: I need my glasses. (puts 2 glasses of water on his eyes) Hmmm, it’s the mail truck!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob and Patrick: Our package! (both start dancing & hopping)<br> | |
| − | Squidward: I | + | Squidward: I didn’t realize it was Happy Hopping Moron Day.<br> |
| − | + | MailMan: SpongeBob SquarePants?<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: | + | SpongeBob: That’s me! (throws a very big box next to SpongeBob & Patrick)<br> |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: That’s a big box.<br> |
| − | SpongeBob: Thank you. (still dancing | + | SpongeBob: Thank you. (still dancing & hopping)<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, when do we stop hopping?<br> | |
SpongeBob: 30 more seconds, Patrick.<br> | SpongeBob: 30 more seconds, Patrick.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: He probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap. (SpongeBob & Patrick pull out a big/screen TV) Huh? A brand- |
| − | + | new television?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | SpongeBob | + | SpongeBob: Easy…easy…(throw the TV onto a trash-can)<br> |
| − | Squidward: Just when I thought they | + | Squidward: Just when I thought they couldn’t get any stupider. Let me get this straight, you two ordered a giant screen |
| + | television just so you could play in the box?<br> | ||
SpongeBob: Pretty smart, huh?<br> | SpongeBob: Pretty smart, huh?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: I thought it wouldn’t work.<br> | |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: Uh-huh, that’s quite a plan there. Oh, but wait, there was something else I wanted to ask you two. What was it? |
| + | Oh, yeah, yeah. '''''DON’T YOU TWO HAVE ANY BRAINS?!'''''<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Squidward, we | + | SpongeBob: Squidward, we don’t need television. Not as long as we have our… (makes a rainbow with his hands) … |
| + | imagination.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Wow, I never thought of it that way. | + | Squidward: Wow, I never thought of it that way. That’s really something. Can I have your TV?<br> |
| − | SpongeBob: With… (makes a rainbow with his hands) …imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate! | + | SpongeBob: With… (makes a rainbow with his hands) …imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate! Arr! A football |
| + | player! Hutt! | ||
| − | + | Patrick: A starfish!<br> | |
| − | Squidward: Patrick, | + | Squidward: Patrick, you’re already a starfish.<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: See, Squidward? It works! You try!<br> | |
| − | Squidward: Ok, | + | Squidward: Ok, let’s see. I’m imaging myself watching TV (points to the one on the trash-can) And there it is! Can I have |
| + | it, SpongeBob?<br> | ||
SpongeBob: Sure, Squidward.<br> | SpongeBob: Sure, Squidward.<br> | ||
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Squidward: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (Squidward pushes TV in his tiki)<br> | Squidward: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (Squidward pushes TV in his tiki)<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, but if you change your mind, | + | SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, but if you change your mind, we’ll be in this box!<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: Let’s play Mountain Climbing Adventure!<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: Let’s go for it! Gloves!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Check.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
SpongeBob: Hats!<br> | SpongeBob: Hats!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Check.<br> | |
SpongeBob: Underwear!<br> | SpongeBob: Underwear!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Uh… check!<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick | + | SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick climb up there and secure this rope.<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: You got it! (you can hear noises coming from the box)<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, | + | SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, you’re going too high!<br> |
Squidward: I hope they put some air holes in that box.<br> | Squidward: I hope they put some air holes in that box.<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Take it easy, Patrick, | + | SpongeBob: Take it easy, Patrick, you’ve got to acclimate!<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: I’ll be easy when I’m dead! I’m shaking hands with Neptune! Woo! Excelsior!<br> | |
| − | Squidward: Now | + | Squidward: Now where’s that remote?<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: I am the lizard king! Woo!<br> | |
SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!<br> | SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: What?<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: I said, I think we should keep our voices | + | SpongeBob: I said, I think we should keep our voices down in case of avalanches!<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: What should we keep down?<br> | |
Squidward: Morons.<br> | Squidward: Morons.<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: | + | SpongeBob: Our voices!!<br> |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: '''''WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!''''' (Squidward kicks box causing an avalanche making SpongeBob & Patrick screaming |
| + | & falling) SpongeBob? (causes a second avalanche)<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Hold me.<br> | |
SpongeBob: Hang in there buddy, the chopper is on the way!<br> | SpongeBob: Hang in there buddy, the chopper is on the way!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: SpongeBob! My legs are frozen solid! You’re going to have to cut them off with a saw!<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: No Patrick, I can’t do that!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Why not?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
SpongeBob: Because I already cut off my own arms!<br> | SpongeBob: Because I already cut off my own arms!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: No!!<br> | |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: What? How were you two making that noise?<br> |
SpongeBob: (laughs) What noise, Squidward?<br> | SpongeBob: (laughs) What noise, Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: We could only hear the sound of our laughter.<br> | |
Squidward: Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the…<br> | Squidward: Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the…<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Don’t forget the second avalanche.<br> | |
| − | Squidward: Forget it. I | + | Squidward: Forget it. I don’t know why I’m wasting my time out here when I could be watching my brand new television. |
| + | (helicopter sounds)<br> | ||
| − | Man Inside Box: Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way! | + | Man Inside Box: Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way! (Squidward opens box)<br> |
| − | + | Squidward: How are you two doing that?<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | Squidward: | + | |
SpongeBob: First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet…<br> | SpongeBob: First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet…<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: The noises | + | Squidward: The noises, how are you two making those noises?<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: That’s easy. All you need is a box.<br> | |
SpongeBob: And…(makes a rainbow with his hands)…imagination.<br> | SpongeBob: And…(makes a rainbow with his hands)…imagination.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Are you trying to say I have no imagination? I have more imagination…(tries to make a rainbow with his hands but | + | Squidward: Are you trying to say that I have no imagination? I have more imagination…(tries to make a rainbow with his |
| + | hands but fails)…in one tentacle than you two have in your whole bodies.<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: That’s good. Now all you need is a box. (closes the box as Squidward walks back to his house)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: I’ll show them! (looks for another box) There’s got to be one in here! (finds a small, round green box) This hat | |
| − | Squidward: | + | box should do nicely. (pulls out a sombrero) Why haven’t I worn this yet? (gets in the box he is too big for and just sits |
| + | there staring at his watch. Kicks box after he gets mad)<br> | ||
PoliceMan: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!<br> | PoliceMan: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!<br> | ||
| + | Squidward: What do they want with me? What did I do? I must have violated some new box kicking law! (walks out of house | ||
| + | with the green box) Look officers, everything’s ok. I won’t do it again!<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: You’ll never take me alive, coppers!<br> | |
| − | + | Man: No, Johnny! Don’t do it! (Squidward kicks the green box so SpongeBob & Patrick take it into theirs)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Oh boy! Another box!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: I got to try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV. (turns on TV to see a box | |
| + | conveyer belt channel)<br> | ||
| − | + | Host: It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly. (changes channel to see a professor talk about a box | |
| + | equation)<br> | ||
| − | + | Physicist: The equation is illustrated here by this box. (changes channel to a soap opera)<br> | |
| − | + | Man: I couldn’t afford a present this year, so I got you this box. (both hold up boxes)<br> | |
| − | + | Woman: That’s what I got you!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Isn’t there anything on that isn’t about boxes? (changes channel)<br> | |
| − | + | Host: And welcome back to Championship Boxing.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Heh-heh, I guess this is ok. I mean, it’s not really about boxes. (two cardboard boxes are going at each other) | |
| + | I give up.<br> | ||
| − | + | Man: 3…2…1…blast off!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard! There must be an explanation. | |
| + | Think, Squidward, think! (imagines of a tape recorder they have and playing real effects)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward's such a jerk. (both laugh)<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | SpongeBob: | + | |
Squidward: Laugh at me, will they? (opens box) All right, where is it?<br> | Squidward: Laugh at me, will they? (opens box) All right, where is it?<br> | ||
| + | Patrick: (comes out of Squidward’s green box) Here I am!<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Where’s what, Squidward?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Don’t "Where’s what, Squidward?" me! Where’s the tape recorder?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: We don’t have a tape recorder, Squidward!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Don’t "We don’t have a tape recorder, Squidward" me!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: But we don’t!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: We have a tape recorder box.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: All right, make way you two, I’m coming in. (gets into box)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Welcome aboard, Squidward! You’ve just set sail on the S.S…(makes a rainbow with his hands) …Imagination. Where our only destination is fantastic adventure! Where do you want to go first?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Don’t mind me, I’m just here to observe.<br> | |
| − | Squidward | + | SpongeBob: Squidward, don’t you see? Waiting and watching? That’s not what the box is all about! It’s all about…(makes a |
| + | rainbow with his hands)…imagination.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: All right, fine! Take me to Robot Pirate Island! I want to arm wrestle with cowboys on the moon! Just do it so I | |
| + | can get back and watch TV!<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: All right, fine | + | SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward! Robot Pirate Island it is! (SpongeBob and Patrick close their eyes and make pirate and robot |
| + | noises)<br> | ||
| + | Squidward: Why won’t this thing turn on? All right, fine. If you don’t want to show me, I don’t care! I’ve got better | ||
| + | things to do than pace the floor wondering how you two work this thing. How do those two work that thing? There’s got to be | ||
| + | a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that! (hears noises from box) That sounds like Robot Pirate | ||
| + | Island! Think, Squidward, think! I got it! When those two go to bed, I’ll sneak in there and find that button. I’ll wait | ||
| + | all night if I have to! | ||
| − | + | Patrick: (both come out of box) I need sleep to refuel my imagination tanks!<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I still can’t believe those pirates beat all those robots.<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: | + | Patrick: See you in the morning.<br> |
| + | SpongeBob: Good-night, Patrick. (Squidward sneaks out to get into the box)<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: (sees a piece of paper on the wall) Hello, what’s this? ("This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who | |
| + | gave their lives to keep this box safe from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget…") (tears paper) I’ve got to find that button | ||
| + | quick! (looks around box) It’s got to be around here somewhere. I don’t see anything! It’s just an empty box! Maybe it | ||
| + | really was their imagination. Oh…get yourself together, Squidward! I mean, do I really believe that if I sit here and | ||
| + | pretend to drive a race car that I’m suddenly going to start hearing noises? (steps on the imaginary gas pedal and hears | ||
| + | the actual noise) What the…? (Squidward turns the imaginary key) It actually works! I can’t believe it! Oh boy! This beats | ||
| − | SpongeBob: | + | TV by a long shot! This is the most fun I’ve ever had!<br> |
| + | SpongeBob: Listen to that, Gary. Squidward finally made the box work after all. That is so great.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Vroom! Only two more laps to the finish line! (garbage truck dumps out the trash) I’m in the lead! Out of my | |
| + | way! I’m almost there! Victory is mine! (box slides down a trash pile until it hits something sending Squidward into a | ||
| + | cherry pie)<br> | ||
| − | + | The next morning… | |
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SpongeBob: Hey, our box is gone!<br> | SpongeBob: Hey, our box is gone!<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Oh well.<br> | |
| − | SpongeBob: I know! | + | SpongeBob: I know! Let’s go see Squidward!<br> |
| − | + | Patrick: I hope he’s not too down in the dumps today. (music is like a down noise) | |
{{Transcripts/Season 3}} | {{Transcripts/Season 3}} | ||
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[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]] | ||
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