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Editing Episode Transcript: Grandpappy the Pirate
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==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Mr. Krabs]] |
| − | * | + | *Grandpa Redbeard |
| − | + | *[[Squidward]] | |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Patrick]] |
| − | *[[ | + | |
| − | + | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Hey, I'm expecting a fifty cent rebate check. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. | |
| − | + | Mailman: Sorry. No check. But I've got this. (gives Mr. Krabs a bottle and walks away) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, a corrospondence in a bottle, eh? (reading) Ahoy, Eugene. I'm so proud you followed your ol' Grampa's peg leg and became a pirate, that I'll be sailing by for a ship's inspection. That vessel better be well-oiled | |
| − | or you'll be dancing the short plank jig. Happy looting! Grampa Redbeard! ( | + | or you'll be dancing the short plank jig. Happy looting! Grampa Redbeard! (not reading) (Gasp!) Grandpa Readbeard comin bla, bla, bla! |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I didn't know your grandpa was a pirate, Mr. Krabs. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Aye, I come from a whole family of pirates. Gramps used to say, "The Krabs Clan has been pirates for as long as we've had claws." And he wanted me to be a pirate, too. | |
| − | + | He flashes back to when he was a baby. His grandpa was babysitting him on his pirate ship. | |
| − | + | Baby Mr. Krabs: (chewing a rattle) | |
| − | ''' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: (fighting pirate skeletons) One day, you'll be a plunderin' pirate just like yer ol' granddad here. |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: So I bought me a ship, hired a crew..... | |
| − | + | Crew member: Aaarrrrr! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: And for years, I drifted the high seas as a pirate. And booty did abound. | |
| − | + | Crew members: (lined up to get paid) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I started to notice a recurring fee. I just wasn't turning enough profit. So I fired me crew and sold me ship. ‘Twas also the last time I saw me granddad. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Aaarrr, if it ain't me pirate grandson. | |
| − | + | Young Mr. Krabs: Well, actually, Grandpa,...I just sold... | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Ya know how proud it makes me to see me only grandson continuin' in the family business. | |
| − | + | Young Mr. Krabs: Yeah, uh, Grandpa... | |
| − | ''' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: And I'll be keepin' me eye on yer career to see how you progress. Just remember, the only rule in the Pirate's Code of Honor is: Never tell a lie. |
| − | + | The flash-back ends. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: For all he knows, the Krusty Krab is a pirate ship. If he were to find out the truth, it would break his salty, barnacle encrusted heart. Boo-hoo! | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Why don't we just make the Krusty Krab look like a pirate ship. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Hm. Not a bad idea, boy. But we're gonna need a first rate crew. | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: We've got Squidward. And I could get Patrick to join up. |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Yeah. | |
| − | + | An hour or two pass. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: All right, me hearties! Get this one thing clear. If Grandpa Redbeard is ever gonna believe I'm a pirate, ye landlubbers are gonna have to pass as a pirate crew. Which means, I want you to look like a pirate. (puts a | |
| + | bandana on Squidward) I want you to talk like a pirate. | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Who are thee? I mean...shiver me timbers! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: But most importantly, I want you to smell like a pirate. (smells Patrick) Very convincing, Patrick. And as me crew, you'll be makin' the Krusty Krab into an imitation pirate ship! Now, let's get this resturant ready to | |
| + | sail! | ||
| − | + | A few minutes pass. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (breaks the bar holding the tableabove the ground. He sticks it in the cash register for a steering wheel.) | |
| − | + | Squidward: (starts painting the floor of the Krusty Krab black) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (hammers two wooden boards together) | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (puts the Krusty Krab sign on the roof) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (breaks a wooden board with his hammer) | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (removes the shell from the pole and replaces it with a crow's nest) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (breaks another wooden board) | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (pours garbage into a bucket and stirs it) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (glues some broken wooden board pieces together) | |
| − | + | Squidward: (paints some wave-shaped pieces of cardboard) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (pulls on a rope and releases the Jolly Roger) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (glues the final wood piece to the rest to make the rim of the ship) | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Way to go, fellars. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: (swings to the ship) Hee-ar! | |
| − | '' | + | Mr. Krabs: He's comin'! |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Hide me, boy. | |
| − | ''' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Eugene, me boy! Aye, it's good to see you and yer ship after so many years! Just beginin' to think you was lyin' to yer old granddad! |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, I...Heh, heh. So, have ya met me hearties? | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Hm...this might be a pirate crew. But more miserable jellyfishers than swarvy brime-skimmers. | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Um... | |
| − | '' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har! I'm just yankin' yer chain, boy! You look like a fine pirate crew. |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh. | |
| − | '' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Now, let's see what this rusty old pelican can do! Let's sail! |
| − | + | SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aye, sir! | |
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: Ahoy, Captain! We be catchin' a mighty gale from the northeast. |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Indeed, indeed. And just look at the treacherous surf in our path! | |
| − | + | Squidward: (hanging from the front of the ship and moving the pieces of cardboard he painted to make it look like waves) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (hanging from the window. He takes a drink of water and spits it on Grandpa Redbeard) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, that salty sea air be so thick, ya can almost taste it. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Aye. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I better take the helm and guide us to safer waters. Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there, eh, Granddad? I said, "Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there!" | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh!! (turns on a record player. It makes wind noises) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: There it is! That wind storm I mentioned earlier, it...and, aparrently me cabin is haunted as well. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: (picks up a hair net) What's a hair net doin' on a pirate ship? Every pirate knows that the majority of his daily nutrition comes from whatever hair or skin flakes fall off the coke and into the stew. This hair | |
| + | net is deprivi' your crew of its essential nutriants. | ||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Uh, just a sec. (turns a video projector on) Look out, Grandpa! We're under attack! (The video projector shows a kraken emerging from the water.) | |
| − | + | Kraken: Grrrrrr.... | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Aye, look at the size of that beast. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Not to worry, Granddad. (grabs a harpoon) | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Aha! That's the stuff! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (throws harpoon) Yaahh! Uh... good toss, eh, Granddad? | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Whah! | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (catches the harpoon) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, nothing. Look! (The video projector shows a harpoon landing on the Kraken and knocking him underwater.) | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har, har! That's me boy! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Clear! | |
| − | + | SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! | |
| − | + | Patrick: Hooray! | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Woo-hoo! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Sounds like we got a prize. (whispering): Ready, Squidward? | |
| − | + | Squidward: You owe me big time, Mr. Krabs. (takes off his bandana and inflates his head) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Ar! Take that, ya, ya scurvy dog! Woo! Check the size of this, Granddad.(He is holding Squidward, who looks like the Kraken.) Check the... Granddad? | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Ahoy! Trouble aproachin' quick! Aproxamitly ten clips of the starboard bow! Man your battle stations! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh no. If Granddad sees something, it must be the real deal. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: What have ya got, cotton in yer ears?! Move! | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (stacks some bags of sand) | |
| − | + | Patrick: (raises the Jolly Roger) | |
| − | + | Squidward: (reading a book) | |
| − | ' | + | Mr. Krabs: What exactly are we dealin' with, Grandpa? |
| − | ''' | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Somethin' bigger than I've ever seen! A ravin' garganst comin' by with coarsmatic tangled locks! |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) Oh, so depulsive. | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Yeah. It must be destroyed! Here, see for yourself. (gives Mr. Krabs a telescope) | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Go get it, Granddad. | |
| − | + | Pearl: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. What kinda disgusting, horrible abomination is dare invade me vessel? (looks over the rim of the ship) | |
| − | + | Pearl: Dad! | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) That disgusting, horrible thing is me daughter! | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: (points a cannon at Pearl) | |
| − | + | Pearl: Open up! | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: Prepare to meet yer maker, sea witch. | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Nooooo! (puts out the fuse on the cannon) | |
| − | + | Grandpa Redbeard: What are ya doin'? | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, I, oh, I was just checkin' the cannon and makin' sure it was loaded. (The cannon collapses.) | |
| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': I knew I got me talent from someone! (laughs) | + | Grandpa Redbeard: What is this?! |
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: I can explain. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pearl: Dad! Dad! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Now it's even more angry! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Don't worry! I have it under control! (jumps off the ship) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pearl: Daddy! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Pearl! Could ya pipe down? Your Great-Granddad Redbeard is in there! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pearl: What's with the lame outfit? | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, never mind that! (pushes Pearl away) Just go home. (climbs back up the ship) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: (breaks a cardboard wave) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: I bet you're wondering about that. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Ar, you're darn tootin' I am! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Patrick: (spits on Grandpa Redbeard) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Do you mind? | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: What kinda ship are you runnin' here? | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Just a second. (removes the wind record from the record player and throws it on Grandpa Redbeard's nose) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Arrrrrrrrrrrr! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Now, Granddad. There's a simple explanation. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: I've smelled sticky things, but nothin' smells stckier than a lie! The code that all pirates live by, you knows what it is, don't ya? | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Of course I do, Granddad. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Well, then, say it! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: It's, it's, it's a pirate never lies! (starts crying) And I've been a dirty liar! Everything you see is a lie! This sail is a lie! (tears down the sail) This crew is a lie! (rips their pirate clothes) Even the ship is a lie! (takes a | ||
| + | wrecking ball and destroys the ship. The regular Krusty Krab resturant is back.) All of it! All a lie! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Krabby Patties: $2.00. Krusty Combo: $3.99! Coral Bits: $1.95?! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: You see, Granddad? I'm no pirate. I'm just a lowly resturant owner! I'm sorry I failed ye. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Fail, me boy?! Ha, ha, ha! Why, I couldn't be more proud. Look at yer ludacris prices! Now, that's real piracy. Ya done good, boy-o! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Really? Thanks, Granddad! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: Why, thank yourself, lad! You created this dynasty on yer own! Now, I'll be takin' me lead, boy! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, Granddad! What an honest man! | ||
| + | |||
| + | Grandpa Redbeard: (steals Mr. Krabs's money) I hope ya don't mind, boy-o, but I helped myself to a little bit of yer booty! (laughs) | ||
| + | |||
| + | Mr. Krabs: I knew I got me talent from someone! (laughs) | ||
| + | |||
| + | {{Slogan}} | ||
| − | |||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
