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Editing Episode Transcript: Grandpappy the Pirate
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*[[Pearl]] | *[[Pearl]] | ||
*[[ Mailman]] | *[[ Mailman]] | ||
− | |||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I'm expecting a fifty cent rebate check. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. | '''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I'm expecting a fifty cent rebate check. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, a corrospondence in a bottle, eh? (reading) Ahoy, Eugene. I'm so proud you followed your ol' Grampa's peg leg and became a pirate, that I'll be sailing by for a ship's inspection. That vessel better be well-oiled | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, a corrospondence in a bottle, eh? (reading) Ahoy, Eugene. I'm so proud you followed your ol' Grampa's peg leg and became a pirate, that I'll be sailing by for a ship's inspection. That vessel better be well-oiled | ||
− | or you'll be dancing the short plank jig. Happy looting! Grampa Redbeard! ( | + | or you'll be dancing the short plank jig. Happy looting! Grampa Redbeard! (not reading) (Gasp!) Grandpa Readbeard comin bla, bla, bla! |
'''SpongeBob''': I didn't know your grandpa was a pirate, Mr. Krabs. | '''SpongeBob''': I didn't know your grandpa was a pirate, Mr. Krabs. | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, I come from a whole family of pirates. Gramps used to say, "The Krabs Clan has been pirates for as long as we've had claws." And he wanted me to be a pirate, too. (flashes back to when he was a baby. His grandpa was babysitting him on his pirate ship. Baby Mr. Krabs | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, I come from a whole family of pirates. Gramps used to say, "The Krabs Clan has been pirates for as long as we've had claws." And he wanted me to be a pirate, too. |
+ | |||
+ | (He flashes back to when he was a baby. His grandpa was babysitting him on his pirate ship.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Baby Mr. Krabs''': (chewing a rattle) | ||
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': (fighting pirate skeletons) One day, you'll be a plunderin' pirate just like yer ol' granddad here. | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': (fighting pirate skeletons) One day, you'll be a plunderin' pirate just like yer ol' granddad here. | ||
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'''Crew member''': Aaarrrrr! | '''Crew member''': Aaarrrrr! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': And for years, I drifted the high seas as a pirate. And booty did abound. | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': And for years, I drifted the high seas as a pirate. And booty did abound. |
+ | |||
+ | '''Crew members''': (lined up to get paid) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': I started to notice a recurring fee. I just wasn't turning enough profit. So I fired me crew and sold me ship. ‘Twas also the last time I saw me granddad. | ||
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Aaarrr, if it ain't me pirate grandson. | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Aaarrr, if it ain't me pirate grandson. | ||
− | '''Young Mr. Krabs''': Well, actually, Grandpa... I just sold... | + | '''Young Mr. Krabs''': Well, actually, Grandpa,...I just sold... |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ya know how proud it makes me to see me only grandson continuin' in the family business. | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ya know how proud it makes me to see me only grandson continuin' in the family business. | ||
− | '''Young Mr. Krabs''': Yeah, uh, Grandpa what happened... | + | '''Young Mr. Krabs''': Yeah, uh, Grandpa what happened ... |
− | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': And well | + | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': And well I'll be keepin' me eye on yer career to see how you progress. Just remember, the only rule in the Pirate's Code of Honor is: Never tell a lie. |
+ | |||
+ | (The flash-back ends.) | ||
'''Mr. Krabs''': For all he knows, the Krusty Krab is a pirate ship. If he were to find out the truth, it would break his salty, barnacle encrusted heart. Boo-hoo! | '''Mr. Krabs''': For all he knows, the Krusty Krab is a pirate ship. If he were to find out the truth, it would break his salty, barnacle encrusted heart. Boo-hoo! | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Why don't we just make the Krusty Krab look like a pirate ship | + | '''SpongeBob''': Why don't we just make the Krusty Krab look like a pirate ship. |
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hm. Not a bad idea, boy. But we're gonna need a first rate crew. | '''Mr. Krabs''': Hm. Not a bad idea, boy. But we're gonna need a first rate crew. | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': We've got Squidward. And I could get Patrick to join up. | '''SpongeBob''': We've got Squidward. And I could get Patrick to join up. | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Yeah. ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Yeah. |
+ | |||
+ | (An hour or two pass.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': All right, me hearties! Get this one thing clear. If Grandpa Redbeard is ever gonna believe I'm a pirate, ye landlubbers are gonna have to pass for a pirate crew. Which means, I want you to look like a pirate. (puts a | ||
+ | bandana on Squidward) I want you to talk like a pirate. | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Who are thee? I mean...shiver me timbers! | '''SpongeBob''': Who are thee? I mean...shiver me timbers! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': But most importantly, I want you to smell like a pirate. (smells Patrick) Very convincing, Patrick. And as me crew, you'll be makin' the Krusty Krab into an imitation pirate ship! Now, let's get this resturant ready to sail! ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': But most importantly, I want you to smell like a pirate. (smells Patrick) Very convincing, Patrick. And as me crew, you'll be makin' the Krusty Krab into an imitation pirate ship! Now, let's get this resturant ready to |
+ | sail! | ||
+ | |||
+ | (A few minutes pass.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': (breaks the bar holding the tableabove the ground. He sticks it in the cash register for a steering wheel.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Squidward: (starts painting the floor of the Krusty Krab black) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (hammers two wooden boards together) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''SpongeBob''': (puts the Krusty Krab sign on the roof) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (breaks a wooden board with his hammer) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''SpongeBob''': (removes the shell from the pole and replaces it with a crow's nest) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (breaks another wooden board) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''SpongeBob''': (pours garbage into a bucket and stirs it) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (glues some broken wooden board pieces together) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Squidward''': (paints some wave-shaped pieces of cardboard) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': (pulls on a rope and releases the Jolly Roger) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (glues the final wood piece to the rest to make the rim of the ship) | ||
'''Mr. Krabs''': Way to go, fellars. | '''Mr. Krabs''': Way to go, fellars. | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Ahoy, Captain! We be catchin' a mighty gale from the northeast. | '''SpongeBob''': Ahoy, Captain! We be catchin' a mighty gale from the northeast. | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Indeed, indeed. And just look at the treacherous surf in our path! | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Indeed, indeed. And just look at the treacherous surf in our path! |
+ | |||
+ | '''Squidward''': (hanging from the front of the ship and moving the pieces of cardboard he painted to make it look like waves) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (hanging from the window. He takes a drink of water and spits it on Grandpa Redbeard) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, that salty sea air be so thick, ya can almost taste it. | ||
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Aye. | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Aye. | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I better take the helm and guide us to safer waters. Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there, eh, Granddad? I said, "Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there!" | '''Mr. Krabs''': I better take the helm and guide us to safer waters. Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there, eh, Granddad? I said, "Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there!" | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Oh! (turns on a record player. It makes wind noises) | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh!! (turns on a record player. It makes wind noises) |
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': There it is! That wind storm I mentioned earlier, it...and, | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': There it is! That wind storm I mentioned earlier, it...and, aparrently me cabin is haunted as well. |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': (picks up a hair net) What's a hair net doin' on a pirate ship? Every pirate knows that the majority of his daily nutrition comes from whatever hair or skin flakes fall off the coke and into the stew. This hair | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': (picks up a hair net) What's a hair net doin' on a pirate ship? Every pirate knows that the majority of his daily nutrition comes from whatever hair or skin flakes fall off the coke and into the stew. This hair | ||
net is deprivi' your crew of its essential nutrients. | net is deprivi' your crew of its essential nutrients. | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Uh, just a sec. (turns a video projector on) Look out, Grandpa! We're under attack! ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Uh, just a sec. (turns a video projector on) Look out, Grandpa! We're under attack! (The video projector shows a kraken emerging from the water.) |
'''Kraken''': Grrrrrr.... | '''Kraken''': Grrrrrr.... | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': (throws harpoon) Yaahh! Uh... good toss, eh, Granddad? | '''Mr. Krabs''': (throws harpoon) Yaahh! Uh... good toss, eh, Granddad? | ||
− | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Whah! | + | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Whah! |
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, nothing. Look! ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': (catches the harpoon) |
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, nothing. Look! (The video projector shows a harpoon landing on the Kraken and knocking him underwater.) | ||
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Har, har, har, har! That's me boy! | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Har, har, har, har! That's me boy! | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Woo-hoo! | '''SpongeBob''': Woo-hoo! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Sounds like we got a prize. (whispering) Ready, Squidward? | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Sounds like we got a prize. (whispering): Ready, Squidward? |
'''Squidward''': You owe me big time, Mr. Krabs. (takes off his bandana and inflates his head) | '''Squidward''': You owe me big time, Mr. Krabs. (takes off his bandana and inflates his head) | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Ar! Take that, ya, ya scurvy dog! Woo! Check the size of this, Granddad. ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Ar! Take that, ya, ya scurvy dog! Woo! Check the size of this, Granddad.(He is holding Squidward, who looks like the Kraken.) Check the... Granddad? |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ahoy! Trouble aproachin' quick! Approximately ten clips of the starboard bow! Man your battle stations! | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ahoy! Trouble aproachin' quick! Approximately ten clips of the starboard bow! Man your battle stations! | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, no. If Granddad sees something, it must be the real deal. | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, no. If Granddad sees something, it must be the real deal. | ||
− | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': What have ya got, cotton in yer ears?! Move! | + | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': What have ya got, cotton in yer ears?! Move! |
+ | |||
+ | '''SpongeBob''': (stacks some bags of sand) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (raises the Jolly Roger) | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Squidward''': (reading a book) | ||
'''Mr. Krabs''': What exactly are we dealin' with, Grandpa? | '''Mr. Krabs''': What exactly are we dealin' with, Grandpa? | ||
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'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Somethin' bigger than I've ever seen! A ravin' garganst comin' by with coarsmatic tangled locks! | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Somethin' bigger than I've ever seen! A ravin' garganst comin' by with coarsmatic tangled locks! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': (Gasp!) Oh, so repulsive. |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Yeah. It must be destroyed! Here, see for yourself. (gives Mr. Krabs a telescope) | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Yeah. It must be destroyed! Here, see for yourself. (gives Mr. Krabs a telescope) | ||
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'''Pearl''': Dad! | '''Pearl''': Dad! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': (Gasp!) That disgusting, horrible thing is me daughter! |
+ | |||
+ | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': (points a cannon at Pearl) | ||
'''Pearl''': Open up! | '''Pearl''': Open up! | ||
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'''Grandpa Redbeard''': What are ya doin'? | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': What are ya doin'? | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, I, oh, I was just checkin' the cannon and makin' sure it was loaded. ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, I, oh, I was just checkin' the cannon and makin' sure it was loaded. (The cannon collapses.) |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': What is this?! | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': What is this?! | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl! Could ya pipe down? Your Great-Granddad Redbeard is in there! | '''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl! Could ya pipe down? Your Great-Granddad Redbeard is in there! | ||
− | '''Pearl''': ( | + | '''Pearl''': (Giggles) What's with the lame outfit? |
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': What? Oh, never mind that! (pushes Pearl away) Just go home. (climbs back up the ship | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': What? Oh, never mind that! (pushes Pearl away) Just go home. (climbs back up the ship) |
− | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ar, you're darn tootin' I am! | + | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': (breaks a cardboard wave) |
+ | |||
+ | '''Mr. Krabs''': I bet you're wondering about that. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Ar, you're darn tootin' I am! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''Patrick''': (spits on Grandpa Redbeard) | ||
'''Mr. Krabs''': Do you mind? | '''Mr. Krabs''': Do you mind? | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Just a second. (removes the wind record from the record player and throws it on Grandpa Redbeard's nose) | '''Mr. Krabs''': Just a second. (removes the wind record from the record player and throws it on Grandpa Redbeard's nose) | ||
− | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Arrrrrrrrrrrr. | + | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Arrrrrrrrrrrr. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! |
'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, Granddad. There's a simple explanation. | '''Mr. Krabs''': Now, Granddad. There's a simple explanation. | ||
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'''SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward''': We're animals! | '''SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward''': We're animals! | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': Even the ship is a lie! (takes a wrecking ball as Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick run away and he destroys the ship. The regular Krusty Krab restaurant is back) All of it! All a lie! ( | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': Even the ship is a lie! (takes a wrecking ball as Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick run away and he destroys the ship. The regular Krusty Krab restaurant is back.) All of it! All a lie! (Takes the cloth with a jolly roger design on it off the Galley Grub) |
'''Grandpa Redbeard''': Krabby Patties: $2.00. Krusty Combo: $3.99! Gourmet: $1.95?! | '''Grandpa Redbeard''': Krabby Patties: $2.00. Krusty Combo: $3.99! Gourmet: $1.95?! | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew I got me talent from someone! (laughs) | '''Mr. Krabs''': I knew I got me talent from someone! (laughs) | ||
− | {{Transcripts/Season 6 | + | |
+ | |||
+ | {{Transcripts/Season 6}} | ||
+ | |||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] |