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Editing Episode Transcript: Funny Pants
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==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Patrick]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Squidward]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Sandy]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Mr. Krabs]] |
| − | + | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| + | |||
(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br> | (Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: opens his window What do you want, SpongeBob?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is | |
| − | + | laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: It's not that funny.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into | |
| + | the Krusty Krab)<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! | |
| + | (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. | ||
| + | Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' | ||
| + | sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts | ||
| + | the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br> | |
| − | + | Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 krabby patties.<br> | |
| − | + | Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br> | |
| − | |||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.<br> | |
| − | + | Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side |
| + | and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br> | ||
| − | ' | + | SpongeBob: I don't?<br> |
| − | + | Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: But...<br> | |
| + | Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in Spongebobs mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob. | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I am?<br> | |
| + | Squidward: Tell me, Spongebob, have your sides been hurting? | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Is that bad?<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: My laugh box?<br> | |
| + | Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it | ||
| + | burns out and you can never laugh again.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without | |
| + | ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick) | ||
| − | + | Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you wanna hear a joke?<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br> | |
| − | + | Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot | |
| + | sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the | |
| + | Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain | ||
| + | vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br> | ||
| + | Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br> | |
| − | |||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Right foot first...<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) |
| + | That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just | |
| + | back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere! | ||
| + | <br> | ||
| − | + | Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as | |
| + | the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. | |
| + | (tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my | ||
| + | laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: What happened?<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. |
| + | (smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br> | ||
| − | |||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Come in.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...? | ||
| − | |||
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy? | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br> | but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br> | ||
| − | |||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Not really.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.<br> | |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)<br> | ||
| − | |||
| − | ' | + | Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?<br> |
| + | SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br> | ||
| − | + | Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx | |
| + | causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Sounds painful.<br> | |
| − | + | Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory | |
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br> | textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br> | |
| + | Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br> | ||
| − | + | Narrator: Later that same evening.<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | Squidward: (heads SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself |
| + | out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into | ||
| + | Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid | |
| + | laughter.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?<br> | |
| + | Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I guess I did.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: It's hilarious!<br> | |
| + | SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him | |
| + | to the hospital)<br> | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Where am I?<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: So they cut it out.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Cut it out?<br> | |
| + | Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce | ||
| + | around.<br> | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Ahh! Gimme that. I can never laugh again?<br> | |
| − | + | Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.<br> | |
| − | + | Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Nope.<br> | |
| − | ' | + | Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br> |
| − | ' | + | Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br> |
| − | + | Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he | |
| + | goes off to share his laugh with the world. | ||
| − | + | {{Transcripts/Season 4}} | |
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[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
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| + | {{Slogan}} | ||
