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Editing Episode Transcript: Funny Pants
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==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
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(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br> | (Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, Squidward!<br> | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, Squidward!!<br> |
'''Squidward''': (opens his window) What do you want, SpongeBob?<br> | '''Squidward''': (opens his window) What do you want, SpongeBob?<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': More like another nickel.<br> | '''Squidward''': More like another nickel.<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': (laughs | + | '''SpongeBob''': (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br> |
'''Squidward''': It's not that funny.<br> | '''Squidward''': It's not that funny.<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab)<br> |
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br> |
− | '''SpongeBob''': (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs | + | '''SpongeBob''': (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br> |
'''Squidward''': (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br> | '''Squidward''': (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br> |
'''Customer #1''': And always check for spare change.<br> | '''Customer #1''': And always check for spare change.<br> | ||
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'''Customer #2''': Thanks, kid.<br> | '''Customer #2''': Thanks, kid.<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.<br> |
'''Customer #2''': Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br> | '''Customer #2''': Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Be gone laughing tormentor! (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I don't?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I don't?<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': But...<br> | '''SpongeBob''': But...<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': (sticks a cooking thermometer in SpongeBob's mouth) Shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob. | + | '''Squidward''': (sticks a cooking thermometer in SpongeBob's mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob. |
'''SpongeBob''': I am?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I am?<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, a little.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, a little.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': And your temperature is 175 degrees | + | '''Squidward''': And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Is that bad?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Is that bad?<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br> | + | '''Squidward''': Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br> | '''Patrick''': What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, no. (tries to keep | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br> |
'''Patrick''': Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br> | '''Patrick''': Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br> | ||
− | '''Patrick''': You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not | + | '''Patrick''': You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br> |
− | '''SpongeBob''': (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the | + | '''SpongeBob''': (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!<br> |
'''Delivery Fish''': Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br> | '''Delivery Fish''': Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br> | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Come in.<br> | '''Mr. Krabs''': Come in.<br> | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': (crying) Mr. Krabs? | + | '''SpongeBob''': (crying) Mr. Krabs...? |
'''Mr. Krabs''': What's wrong, boy? | '''Mr. Krabs''': What's wrong, boy? | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br> | ||
− | '''Sandy''': (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, | + | '''Sandy''': (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx |
+ | causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br> | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Sounds painful.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Sounds painful.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Thank you, Sandy.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Thank you, Sandy.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': I really hate to see the little guy | + | '''Squidward''': I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br> |
− | ''' | + | '''Narrator''': Later that same evening.<br> |
− | '''Squidward''': (hears SpongeBob | + | '''Squidward''': (hears SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiralling depression?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiralling depression?<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': Uhh | + | '''Squidward''': Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Yeah. (SpongeBob starts laughing, then Squidward) You really fell for it.<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I guess I did.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': You even fell for the | + | '''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a | + | '''Squidward''': (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him to the hospital)<br> |
'''Patrick''': Look, he's waking up.<br> | '''Patrick''': Look, he's waking up.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Where am I?<br> |
'''Sandy''': You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br> | '''Sandy''': You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br> | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br> |
'''Patrick''': So they cut it out.<br> | '''Patrick''': So they cut it out.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': C-cut it out?<br> |
'''Patrick''': Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.<br> | '''Patrick''': Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': | + | '''Squidward''': Ahh! Gimme that. (takes the jar from Patrick) Ohh! I can never laugh again?<br> |
'''Replacement Doctor''': Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br> | '''Replacement Doctor''': Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': But, you cut out my laugh box.<br> | '''Squidward''': But, you cut out my laugh box.<br> | ||
− | '''Replacement Doctor''': Yes, but one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant part of theirs to you.<br> | + | '''Replacement Doctor''': Yes, but, uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant part of theirs to you.<br> |
'''Patrick''': Nope.<br> | '''Patrick''': Nope.<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': You're getting warmer.<br> | '''Sandy''': You're getting warmer.<br> | ||
− | '''Squidward''': (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs) <br> | + | '''Squidward''': (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br> |
− | '''SpongeBob''':Hey, you | + | '''SpongeBob''': Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much and looks upset; he runs insanely through the wall, still laughing) Ah, there he goes, off to share his laughter with the world. (laughs again) |
{{Transcripts/Season 4}} | {{Transcripts/Season 4}} | ||
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[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] |