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Editing Episode Transcript: Driven to Tears
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| − | Episode Article: [[ | + | Episode Article: [[Driven to Tears]] |
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| Line 20: | Line 20: | ||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| − | |||
| − | + | Narrator: A very special day in Bikini Bottom<br> | |
'''SpongeBob''': I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring | '''SpongeBob''': I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring | ||
| − | my flashcards? | + | my flashcards?<br> |
'''Patrick''': Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats | '''Patrick''': Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats | ||
| − | the cards) Mmm. | + | the cards) Mmm.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick! | + | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Hey, learning tastes good. | + | '''Patrick''': Hey, learning tastes good.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I needed those. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I needed those.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone. | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': 57 times. | + | '''SpongeBob''': 57 times.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner. | + | '''Patrick''': Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner? | + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner? | + | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sadly) I'm a winner. | + | '''SpongeBob''': (sadly) I'm a winner.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner? | + | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (cheered up a little) I'm a winner. | + | '''SpongeBob''': (cheered up a little) I'm a winner.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?! | + | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?!<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom | + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom)<br> |
| − | + | Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... (SpongeBob walks up sobbing)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': How'd you do, winner? (crying continues) Let's see that license. | + | '''Patrick''': How'd you do, winner? (crying continues) Let's see that license.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I didn't get a license, Patrick. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I didn't get a license, Patrick.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Are they gonna mail it to you? | + | '''Patrick''': Are they gonna mail it to you?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all. | + | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged. | + | '''Patrick''': No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Let's just go home, Patrick. | + | '''SpongeBob''': [[Episode Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|Let's just go home, Patrick.]]<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself. | + | '''Patrick''': We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's | '''SpongeBob''': (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's | ||
| − | pants rip off) | + | pants rip off)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing. | + | '''Patrick''': Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick. No! | + | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick. No!<br> |
| − | + | Mrs. Puff: (Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear) Good morning.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': You're not the judge of me! | + | '''Patrick''': You're not the judge of me!<br> |
| − | + | Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! (clicks pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I? | + | '''SpongeBob''': I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! SpongeBob! | + | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! SpongeBob!<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm here for you, buddy. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm here for you, buddy.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': I passed my test! | + | '''Patrick''': I passed my test!<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got a perfect score? | + | '''SpongeBob''': You got a perfect score?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah, I thought you said it was hard. | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Perfect score. (eye twitches) | + | '''SpongeBob''': Perfect score. (eye twitches)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. ( | + | '''Patrick''': Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. (scene cuts to the license registration building)<br> |
| − | + | Lady: Stand behind the line, sir.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': ( | + | '''Patrick''': (smiling) How do I look?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastically) Like a winner. | + | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastically) Like a winner.<br> |
| − | + | Lady: Ready?<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall) | + | '''Patrick''': Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Huh? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Huh?<br> |
| − | + | Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Does that mean I get a free key chain? | + | '''Patrick''': Does that mean I get a free key chain?<br> |
| − | + | Fish: Uhh, no.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Oh. | + | '''Patrick''': Oh.<br> |
| − | + | Fish: You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah! All right! | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah! All right!<br> |
| − | + | Fish: Women will want you. (all sigh) Men will want to be you. (all sigh) You'll be the envy of your friends. (SpongeBob | |
| − | + | groans)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat. | + | '''Patrick''': Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''':("La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face) Whoa!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': The horn works. ( | + | '''Patrick''': The horn works. (scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road) Whoo! This is the greatest day ever. |
| − | Right, SpongeBob? | + | Right, SpongeBob?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license. | + | '''Patrick''': Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Two millionth? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Two millionth?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Then you can get a free boat just like me. | + | '''Patrick''': Then you can get a free boat just like me.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, just like you. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, just like you.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': I try to serve as an inspiration to others. | + | '''Patrick''': I try to serve as an inspiration to others.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Can we go home now? ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': Can we go home now? (zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over) We've been driving |
| − | around your house for hours. | + | around your house for hours.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it? | + | '''Patrick''': I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride, Patrick. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride, Patrick.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. SpongeBob | + | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. SpongeBob imitates Patrick. |
| + | Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into | ||
| + | his diving board then back into his bed) | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what are you doing? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what are you doing?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': I'm trying to work on my boat mobile | + | '''Patrick''': I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3 in the morning, people are trying to |
| − | sleep. (SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. | + | sleep. (SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am)<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the | '''SpongeBob''': 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the | ||
| − | door) Now what is it, Patrick? | + | door) Now what is it, Patrick?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': You will never guess what happen to me today. | + | '''Patrick''': You will never guess what happen to me today.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got your license. | + | '''SpongeBob''': You got your license.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all. | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got a new boat. | + | '''SpongeBob''': You got a new boat.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah. | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. (walks off)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows) | + | '''SpongeBob''': (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows)<br> |
| − | + | Gary: Meow.<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. (scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work) I'm so |
| − | tired. (horn honks) | + | tired. (horn honks)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work? | + | '''Patrick''': Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to |
| + | Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab)<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license. | + | '''Patrick''': Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride. | + | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license | + | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile... | + | '''SpongeBob''': That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': When did we get a drive-thru? | + | '''SpongeBob''': When did we get a drive-thru?<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're | |
| − | too busy out on the open road living their dreams. | + | too busy out on the open road living their dreams.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I used to have a dream. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I used to have a dream.<br> |
| − | + | Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks | + | '''SpongeBob''': (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': The horn still works | + | '''Patrick''': The horn still works. (scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick |
| + | drives up in a racing uniform) Hey, SpongeBob.<br> | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': What's with the helmet, Patrick? | + | '''SpongeBob''': What's with the helmet, Patrick?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue) | + | '''Patrick''': Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Uh-huh. ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': Uh-huh. (scene cuts to Patrick driving)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': | + | '''Patrick''': Boy, driving is so easy.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh? | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Do you want me to give you lessons? | + | '''Patrick''': Do you want me to give you lessons?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great. | + | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Oh! (drives over to | + | '''Patrick''': Oh! (drives over to SpongeBob’s parents)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy. | + | '''Patrick''': Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.<br> |
| − | + | Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob’s mom and dad, not yours?<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test. | + | '''Patrick''': What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.<br> |
| − | + | Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick.<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it. | + | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.<br> |
| − | + | Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Mom! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Mom!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides. | + | '''Patrick''': Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': Hey. (Patrick drives off)<br> |
| − | + | Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. (both parents sigh)<br> | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH') | + | '''Patrick''': Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH')<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, the speed limit is | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah, yeah. | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah, yeah.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': (reads the speedometer) 40 | + | '''SpongeBob''': (reads the speedometer) 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. (car stops next to |
| + | a policeman)<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': What? Where? Who? | + | '''Patrick''': What? Where? Who?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding | + | '''SpongeBob''': Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock |
| − | him with your radar gun? | + | him with your radar gun?<br> |
| − | + | Officer: Umm...ok. (uses radar gun. It reads 0mph) Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. (drives off)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Are you sure you don't want to run him in? ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': Are you sure you don't want to run him in? (scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red) It's a red |
| + | light, Patrick! (Patrick runs through red lights) Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights!<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': | + | '''Patrick''': So?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': You're suppose to | + | '''SpongeBob''': You're suppose to stop!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': I think the driving genius | + | '''Patrick''': I think the driving genius knows what he's doing!<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': Driving ''genius?!'' Would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': | + | '''Patrick''': They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': '''''I''''' should've gotten that license, and this should be '''''my''''' boat mobile! | + | '''SpongeBob''': '''''I''''' should've gotten that license, and this should be '''''my''''' boat mobile!!!!!!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license! | + | '''Patrick''': How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!<br> |
| + | '''SpongeBob''': If you were '''''my''''' friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!<br> | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Patrick''': I'm not rubbing my license in your face! '''''This''''' is rubbing my license in your face! (takes out license and rubs it |
| + | in SpongeBob’s face, which makes muffled noises)<br> | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! (tears up Patrick's license then |
| + | laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands) | ||
| − | + | Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. (drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick)<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': It's the police!<br> |
| − | + | Officer: (over speaker) Pull it over, litterbug!<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | '''Patrick''': Litterbug?! No! (drives faster)<br> |
| − | + | Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner. (a bunch of police cars are following him)<br> | |
| − | ''' | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what do you think you're doing?<br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''Patrick''': I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. (drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front |
| + | lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom)<br> | ||
| − | + | Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.<br> | |
| − | + | '''Patrick''': So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.<br> | |
| − | + | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him. | + | |
'''SpongeBob''': What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's | '''SpongeBob''': What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's | ||
| − | innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead. | + | innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.<br> |
| − | + | Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! (SpongeBob is put in jail)<br> | |
| − | + | Narrator: One debt to society later... (door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him)<br> | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! (both hug) | + | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! (both hug)<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows |
| + | him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.<br> | ||
| − | '''Patrick''': Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore. | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': What? | + | '''SpongeBob''': What?<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end. | + | '''Patrick''': It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind) | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind)<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': How's that? | + | '''Patrick''': How's that?<br> |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah! | + | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah!<br> |
| − | '''Patrick''': Ready, buddy? | + | '''Patrick''': Ready, buddy?<br> |
'''SpongeBob''': Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo! | '''SpongeBob''': Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo! | ||
{{Transcripts/Season 4}} | {{Transcripts/Season 4}} | ||
| + | |||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
