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Episode Transcript: Bossy Boots
| Line 14: | Line 14: | ||
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[testicular cancer]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[boobs]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[grapefruit butt]] |
| − | *[[Mr. | + | *[[Mr. INCREDIBLE]] |
==Plot== | ==Plot== | ||
| − | [At the Krusty Krab, we see Squid at the ordering boat and Sponge looking out from the ordering window. | + | [At the Krusty Krab, we see Squid at the ordering boat and Sponge looking out from the ordering window. INCREDIBLE’ voice is sounding on the P.A.] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Attention! Attention! All Krusty Krew employees, attention! [we pan out to see that INCREDIBLE is standing next to them, speaking into a megaphone] Get the anchors out of your pants and report to me office! [pause] That will be all. [Squid and Sponge go into INCREDIBLE’ office and sit down] I have an important announcement to make. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Woo! Hooray! [Sponge jumps up on top of the chair and twirls it around] The new spatulas are here! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Sit down, boy. There’s no new spatulas! [Sponge sits down again]<br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' [sarcastically] How disappointing. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' You may know me daughter grapefruit butt. She’s growing up fast. [he looks at a picture of grapefruit butt and INCREDIBLE is swim attire jumping up from the water] It seems like it was just yesterday I was teaching her how to breach. Me mammalian angel. Oh… [puts the picture back on the wall] Anyway, uh, so she’s going to be working here during her summer vacation. She’s got a lot of fresh ideas to bring in some hungry customers! [a bell rings] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' [off-screen] Hello? Daddy? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Thar she blows! [INCREDIBLE leaves] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' testicular cancer, do you realize what this means? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' No new spatulas? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' No! It means some bratty teenager’s coming in here to tell us what to do. We can’t have that! We have seniority, right? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Right! [Sponge and Squid shake hands] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' So, we’ll work together to protect our pathetic positions. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Okey-dokey, boobs. And then we’ll get those new spatulas! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' All right, men. Say hello to me grapefruit butt. [Sponge hugs one of the giant pillars] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Hello, pole. [pan out to see grapefruit butt holding a box] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Hi guys. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' It makes me jolly as a roger to have you finally aboard the family business! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Great dad, because I have so many new ideas. [INCREDIBLE sniffs the air and his eyes conjoin to make a dollar sign shape] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' I can smell the money already! I’ll be in me office if you need me! [he walks off] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' What’s in the box? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' It’s a surprise. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' I like surprises. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Great, then close your eyes. [Sponge does] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' I’m ready! [grapefruit butt puts the box’s open end over Sponge] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Well, I like it so far. [grapefruit butt lifts up the box] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Ta-da! [Squid gasps. We see Sponge is wearing a new uniform. It’s a full body suit and only Sponge’s face has an opening. The body suit is pink with purple flowers and on the top are two K’s being held up by springs] It’s the new Krusty Krew uniform. I designed it myself. [grapefruit butt hands Sponge a mirror] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' OK, this is it, testicular cancer. Now tell her how you really feel about that uniform. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' OK, boobs. grapefruit butt… this is the greatest uniform ever! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Fishpaste. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Oh testicular cancer, you look so adorable. I could just eat you up.<br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Sorry grapefruit butt, but this item’s not on the menu! [giggles] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Well, I didn’t think it was possible testicular cancer, but you look even more ridiculous than usual. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Don’t feel jealous, Uncle Squiddy. I made one for you too. [holds up his uniform] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Don’t bother, only a fool would wear that. [INCREDIBLE bursts out of his office, wearing the uniform] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Avast, ye shipmates! Don’t these just shiver your timbers? [laughs, then shuts the door. INCREDIBLE peeks his head out] Get that suit on, sailor. It’s already been paid for. [we cut to Squid now with the uniform on. The two springs give and the K’s fall over Squid’s eyes] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' boobs is such a barnacle. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' A stick in the sand. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' But not you, testicular cancer. You are full of style. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Me? Really? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Totally, testicular cancer. You ooze fashion. And I’ve got some completely coral concepts for this old joint, and I’m going to need someone with your kind of talent to help me. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Well, I have been trying to get Mr. INCREDIBLE to make a few changes around here. [he looks at a picture he drew of INCREDIBLE, himself and Squid with moustaches] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Why, with my girlish instincts and your… sponginess, [cut to a view of the Krusty Krab as a deserted place, where a skeleton is sitting at a table] we’ll turn this worn-out lunch wagon into a teenage paradise. [cut to grapefruit butt with a notepad, thinking] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' testicular cancer, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab or the Kooky Krab? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' For what, dare I ask? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Our new name for our new look. I mean, “The Krusty Krab” has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' Well, sure it’s a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, testicular cancer? |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Hmm… how about The Kissy Krab? [puckers up lips. Sponge is now in royal attire] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' The King Krab. [grapefruit butt holds up a lollipop, which bears an odd resemblance to her father] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' The Kandy Krab! [Sponge is now dressed as a jazzy beatnik] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' The Kool Krab. [now, he’s a cowboy riding a stick horsy] Or the Kowboy Krab. [now, he’s totally stretched out] The Kurly Krab. [now, he’s like a mad scientist holding a brain with INCREDIBLE-like arms coming from it] The Kreepy Krab. [now he’s a crazy killer jungle man with a loincloth] The Killer Krab! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Aaah! No! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' You’re right, too scary. [they both think and finally get the name and hug] <br> |
| − | '''Sponge & | + | '''Sponge & grapefruit butt:''' The Kuddly Krab! [a rainbow of colors fills the screen. grapefruit butt, Sponge and an anguished Squid stand outside the new restaurant. The sign for the restaurant is now a heart and a cutesy robot INCREDIBLE is waving his arms atop it. The restaurant outside itself is tye-died with colors and rainbows and the flags are now hearts. Balloons are hanging from the roof and giant lollipops come from the chimney. grapefruit butt and Sponge, giggling, walk back in the restaurant. Squid is so mad that the two K’s on his uniform catch on fire and he shakes the pole. A couple drives by in a car] <br> |
| − | '''Woman:''' It’s a shame old man | + | '''Woman:''' It’s a shame old man INCREDIBLE sold the Krusty Krab. <br> |
'''Man:''' That’s a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get something to eat around here? <br> | '''Man:''' That’s a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get something to eat around here? <br> | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''boobs:''' That’s it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it between his legs. Inside the restaurant, it’s a total makeover, like grapefruit butt said before, it’s a teenage paradise] <br> |
| − | '''Teen:''' Finally! A cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out! [ | + | '''Teen:''' Finally! A cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out! [grapefruit butt and Sponge marvel at their makeover] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' grapefruit butt, you’re a genius. All these young, hip new customers. Fooey on boobs. He can’t keep up with the times. You’re a true visionary, grapefruit butt. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Thank you, testicular cancer. I do have 20/20 vision. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Well, hip people have to eat too. Back to the grill. [Sponge is in the kitchen at the grill] The customers may be hot but my grill is hotter. [he pushes his spatula on the grill and imitates a sizzle. grapefruit butt is in the ordering window to hand Sponge an order] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' testicular cancer, order up! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Two… sal-ads. Never heard of it. I got to stay hip. I don’t want to end up like silly old boobs. But what in the name of Davy Jones’ locker is a [pronounces it wrong] sal-lad? [cut to Sponge walking up to grapefruit butt with a tray with two Krabby Patties] Here you go. Two sa-lads. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Ew, gross. Those aren’t salads. Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments. <br> |
| − | + | testicular cancer:''' But that just leaves the lettuce and the tomato. <br> | |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Exactly. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' All right. [walks back to the kitchen and sadly removes the buns] OK, no buns. That’s hip. [removes the patty] No patties, happenin.’ [crushed] Oh yeah, that’s definitely the coolest meal I’ve ever saw. [Sponge walks over with a tray of sal-lads to two girls at a table, who are talking] Two salads. [he drops the tray on the table and walks back to the kitchen] That was awful. I hope I never have to tear apart a perfectly good Krabby Patty ever again. I don’t think my heart can take it. [he screams, noticing the grill is gone] Where’s the grill? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Come on testicular cancer, you’re a hip guy. You know that fried foods are o-u-t out! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Uh… right on. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Check out this new menu I came up with. [Sponge takes the menu] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' [reading it] Salad… and tea. But where are the Krabby Patties. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Silly, those aren’t hip. And you won’t be needing that thing anymore. [takes the spatula from Sponge. He starts to stutter] I’ve got something more fun for you to do anyway. [cut to Sponge outside the restaurant in a crab suit, waving at cars. One car stops] <br> |
'''Man:''' Hey buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention! [laughs and drives off] | '''Man:''' Hey buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention! [laughs and drives off] | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' This is humiliating. I’m a fry cook, darn it! You can take away my spatula, but when you take away my dignity, that’s when I get mad! I’m going to march right up to Mr. INCREDIBLE’ office and tell him this is just too much! [he walks toward the restaurant, but gravity gets the best of him and he falls over. He struggles to get up and starts to whimper. Cut to Sponge at INCREDIBLE’ door, outside the costume] OK testicular cancer, you can do this. Come on… [he knocks on the door and peeks in] Mr. INCREDIBLE, can I talk to you? [INCREDIBLE’ office is just as elaborately decorated as the rest of the restaurant] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Come on in, me boy! Have a seat. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Thanks, Mr. INCREDIBLE. [he sits down in a bear bean bag chair, but starts to sink inside it] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Don’t you just love me new office? grapefruit butty designed it for me. [Sponge has sunk in, now you can only see his eye] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Mr. INCREDIBLE, um, I think we have a problem. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Isn’t that the neatest $40 chair you ever sat in? [Sponge has totally sunk into the chair and he sticks out his hand] |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Sure Mr. INCREDIBLE, but I’ve got some bad news. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' How about my cuddly executive buddy? [picks up a blue stress-relief doll] Reduces stress for only five easy payments of $9.95. [INCREDIBLE squeezes it and its eyes, nose and ears pop out. Sponge pops out of the chair] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Mr. INCREDIBLE, grapefruit butt is ruining the Krusty Krab! [he covers his mouth] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' What?! Why, grapefruit butt is saving the Krusty Krab! I mean, the Kuddly Krab. [goes over to a picture of a seahorse] What would we do without these beautiful $20 sea unicorn wallhangers? [goes to a strand of lights] How could we ever survive without these $35 art lights? How could we go on without a sea fern on every last table? [holds one up] It’s hip! It’s coral! It’s… it’s losing money! [starts to cry] Oh you’re right testicular cancer. But I can’t fire me pride and joy, it’d break her fragile little heart! What am I going to do? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' There there, Mr. INCREDIBLE. I’m sure there’s another way. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' That’s it boy! You could fire her! It’s OK if she hates you. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' That’s not what I said, sir. [INCREDIBLE brings Sponge to the door] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Great then, it’s all settled: you fire grapefruit butty, I’ll wait in me office. [Sponge is pushed out the door and |
| − | accidentally runs into | + | accidentally runs into grapefruit butt] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Totally rude, testicular cancer. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' grapefruit butt, can I see to you in the kitchen for a second? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Sure, testicular cancer. [as they walk to the kitchen…] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' [thinking] How am I going to break it to her? I’ve never fired anyone before. I just got to say. grapefruit butt, you’re fired. OK, here it goes. [Sponge opens his mouth to say it, but grapefruit butt is already crying] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Oh, testicular cancer! [crying] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' grapefruit butt, why are you crying? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' I can’t take it anymore! Nothing I do is working! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Sure it is grapefruit butt. Look at all the hip, young people eating sal-lads! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' No, don’t you get it! I’ve been trying to get fired since day one! I was only pretending to like this place to |
| − | please Daddy. This job is cutting majorly into my social life. Oh | + | please Daddy. This job is cutting majorly into my social life. Oh testicular cancer, what should I do? [Sponge thinks] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' I got it! I can pretend to [air quotes] fire you. I’ll take the heat from old man INCREDIBLE later. [grapefruit butt grabs Sponge in a bone-snapping hug] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Gosh, you’d really do that for me? You’re a great pal, testicular cancer. How can I ever thank you? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' [muffled] Stop trying to break me in half? [grapefruit butt drops him] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Deal. [Sponge and grapefruit butt walk up to INCREDIBLE’ door, grapefruit butt tries to conceal her laughter] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' OK, grapefruit butt. We’ve got to make this convincing. [loud and clear] grapefruit butt I need to have a word with you! [we see INCREDIBLE in the office] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Oh no, here it goes! I don’t know if I can bear to listen. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' It’s not that you haven’t done a good job around here, it’s just that… [INCREDIBLE is pushed against the door] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Don’t be too hard on her, now. Why does it have to be this way? [he sees himself in the uniform in the mirror] It’s for the best. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Well, we feel it might be in everybody’s best interest if… <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' I can’t let him do this! [he goes for the door, then sees the vault open. It’s empty, and a spider crawls around its web] Get on with it, testicular cancer! <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' grapefruit butt, you’re fired. [INCREDIBLE chokes and falls over] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''grapefruit butt:''' Thanks, testicular cancer. [kisses him. She runs off and jumps into a car with all her friends] Come on gang, the mall awaits! [they drive off. Sponge runs into the office] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' Hey, Mr. INCREDIBLE, I did it! [he screams when he sees INCREDIBLE’ body. He runs over to a bill behind glass, which is for emergency purposes and he breaks the glass. He waves the bill under INCREDIBLE’ nose.] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' [regaining consciousness] Oh grapefruit butty… [sniffs] Is that a 20? [he pockets the bill] Oh testicular cancer, how could I have done such a thing to me own fresh and blood? [cries] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' There, there, Mr. INCREDIBLE. grapefruit butt took it just fine, in fact, she seemed sort of happy. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' Really? <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' She’s off to bigger and better things. <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''INCREDIBLE:''' That’s me old girl; tough as nails, just like her old man! [laughs] But how am I going to get my money back for all this stuff? [Sponge thinks. Cut to his house, where all the stuff is put up in his house. Sponge dances in his uniform to the music] <br> |
| − | ''' | + | '''testicular cancer:''' [laughing] Isn’t this great, Gary? And it only cost me one year’s salary! [Gary is covered in stuffed animals and his shell has flowers painted on it] <br> |
'''Gary:''' Meow? <br> | '''Gary:''' Meow? <br> | ||
Revision as of 10:58, 22 January 2008
Bossy Boots is an episode from season 2.
| Back Episode Transscript | Next Episode Transscript |
|---|---|
| Something Smells | Big Pink Loser |
Episode Article: Bossy Boots
Characters
Plot
[At the Krusty Krab, we see Squid at the ordering boat and Sponge looking out from the ordering window. INCREDIBLE’ voice is sounding on the P.A.]
INCREDIBLE: Attention! Attention! All Krusty Krew employees, attention! [we pan out to see that INCREDIBLE is standing next to them, speaking into a megaphone] Get the anchors out of your pants and report to me office! [pause] That will be all. [Squid and Sponge go into INCREDIBLE’ office and sit down] I have an important announcement to make.
testicular cancer: Woo! Hooray! [Sponge jumps up on top of the chair and twirls it around] The new spatulas are here!
INCREDIBLE: Sit down, boy. There’s no new spatulas! [Sponge sits down again]
boobs: [sarcastically] How disappointing.
INCREDIBLE: You may know me daughter grapefruit butt. She’s growing up fast. [he looks at a picture of grapefruit butt and INCREDIBLE is swim attire jumping up from the water] It seems like it was just yesterday I was teaching her how to breach. Me mammalian angel. Oh… [puts the picture back on the wall] Anyway, uh, so she’s going to be working here during her summer vacation. She’s got a lot of fresh ideas to bring in some hungry customers! [a bell rings]
grapefruit butt: [off-screen] Hello? Daddy?
INCREDIBLE: Thar she blows! [INCREDIBLE leaves]
boobs: testicular cancer, do you realize what this means?
testicular cancer: No new spatulas?
boobs: No! It means some bratty teenager’s coming in here to tell us what to do. We can’t have that! We have seniority, right?
testicular cancer: Right! [Sponge and Squid shake hands]
boobs: So, we’ll work together to protect our pathetic positions.
testicular cancer: Okey-dokey, boobs. And then we’ll get those new spatulas!
INCREDIBLE: All right, men. Say hello to me grapefruit butt. [Sponge hugs one of the giant pillars]
testicular cancer: Hello, pole. [pan out to see grapefruit butt holding a box]
grapefruit butt: Hi guys.
INCREDIBLE: It makes me jolly as a roger to have you finally aboard the family business!
grapefruit butt: Great dad, because I have so many new ideas. [INCREDIBLE sniffs the air and his eyes conjoin to make a dollar sign shape]
INCREDIBLE: I can smell the money already! I’ll be in me office if you need me! [he walks off]
testicular cancer: What’s in the box?
grapefruit butt: It’s a surprise.
testicular cancer: I like surprises.
grapefruit butt: Great, then close your eyes. [Sponge does]
testicular cancer: I’m ready! [grapefruit butt puts the box’s open end over Sponge]
boobs: Well, I like it so far. [grapefruit butt lifts up the box]
grapefruit butt: Ta-da! [Squid gasps. We see Sponge is wearing a new uniform. It’s a full body suit and only Sponge’s face has an opening. The body suit is pink with purple flowers and on the top are two K’s being held up by springs] It’s the new Krusty Krew uniform. I designed it myself. [grapefruit butt hands Sponge a mirror]
boobs: OK, this is it, testicular cancer. Now tell her how you really feel about that uniform.
testicular cancer: OK, boobs. grapefruit butt… this is the greatest uniform ever!
boobs: Fishpaste.
grapefruit butt: Oh testicular cancer, you look so adorable. I could just eat you up.
testicular cancer: Sorry grapefruit butt, but this item’s not on the menu! [giggles]
boobs: Well, I didn’t think it was possible testicular cancer, but you look even more ridiculous than usual.
grapefruit butt: Don’t feel jealous, Uncle Squiddy. I made one for you too. [holds up his uniform]
boobs: Don’t bother, only a fool would wear that. [INCREDIBLE bursts out of his office, wearing the uniform]
INCREDIBLE: Avast, ye shipmates! Don’t these just shiver your timbers? [laughs, then shuts the door. INCREDIBLE peeks his head out] Get that suit on, sailor. It’s already been paid for. [we cut to Squid now with the uniform on. The two springs give and the K’s fall over Squid’s eyes]
boobs: Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation.
grapefruit butt: boobs is such a barnacle.
testicular cancer: A stick in the sand.
grapefruit butt: But not you, testicular cancer. You are full of style.
testicular cancer: Me? Really?
grapefruit butt: Totally, testicular cancer. You ooze fashion. And I’ve got some completely coral concepts for this old joint, and I’m going to need someone with your kind of talent to help me.
testicular cancer: Well, I have been trying to get Mr. INCREDIBLE to make a few changes around here. [he looks at a picture he drew of INCREDIBLE, himself and Squid with moustaches]
grapefruit butt: Why, with my girlish instincts and your… sponginess, [cut to a view of the Krusty Krab as a deserted place, where a skeleton is sitting at a table] we’ll turn this worn-out lunch wagon into a teenage paradise. [cut to grapefruit butt with a notepad, thinking]
grapefruit butt: testicular cancer, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab or the Kooky Krab?
boobs: For what, dare I ask?
grapefruit butt: Our new name for our new look. I mean, “The Krusty Krab” has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
boobs: Well, sure it’s a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, testicular cancer?
testicular cancer: I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
grapefruit butt: Hmm… how about The Kissy Krab? [puckers up lips. Sponge is now in royal attire]
testicular cancer: The King Krab. [grapefruit butt holds up a lollipop, which bears an odd resemblance to her father]
grapefruit butt: The Kandy Krab! [Sponge is now dressed as a jazzy beatnik]
testicular cancer: The Kool Krab. [now, he’s a cowboy riding a stick horsy] Or the Kowboy Krab. [now, he’s totally stretched out] The Kurly Krab. [now, he’s like a mad scientist holding a brain with INCREDIBLE-like arms coming from it] The Kreepy Krab. [now he’s a crazy killer jungle man with a loincloth] The Killer Krab!
grapefruit butt: Aaah! No!
testicular cancer: You’re right, too scary. [they both think and finally get the name and hug]
Sponge & grapefruit butt: The Kuddly Krab! [a rainbow of colors fills the screen. grapefruit butt, Sponge and an anguished Squid stand outside the new restaurant. The sign for the restaurant is now a heart and a cutesy robot INCREDIBLE is waving his arms atop it. The restaurant outside itself is tye-died with colors and rainbows and the flags are now hearts. Balloons are hanging from the roof and giant lollipops come from the chimney. grapefruit butt and Sponge, giggling, walk back in the restaurant. Squid is so mad that the two K’s on his uniform catch on fire and he shakes the pole. A couple drives by in a car]
Woman: It’s a shame old man INCREDIBLE sold the Krusty Krab.
Man: That’s a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get something to eat around here?
boobs: That’s it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it between his legs. Inside the restaurant, it’s a total makeover, like grapefruit butt said before, it’s a teenage paradise]
Teen: Finally! A cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out! [grapefruit butt and Sponge marvel at their makeover]
testicular cancer: grapefruit butt, you’re a genius. All these young, hip new customers. Fooey on boobs. He can’t keep up with the times. You’re a true visionary, grapefruit butt.
grapefruit butt: Thank you, testicular cancer. I do have 20/20 vision.
testicular cancer: Well, hip people have to eat too. Back to the grill. [Sponge is in the kitchen at the grill] The customers may be hot but my grill is hotter. [he pushes his spatula on the grill and imitates a sizzle. grapefruit butt is in the ordering window to hand Sponge an order]
grapefruit butt: testicular cancer, order up!
testicular cancer: Two… sal-ads. Never heard of it. I got to stay hip. I don’t want to end up like silly old boobs. But what in the name of Davy Jones’ locker is a [pronounces it wrong] sal-lad? [cut to Sponge walking up to grapefruit butt with a tray with two Krabby Patties] Here you go. Two sa-lads.
grapefruit butt: Ew, gross. Those aren’t salads. Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.
testicular cancer: But that just leaves the lettuce and the tomato.
grapefruit butt: Exactly.
testicular cancer: All right. [walks back to the kitchen and sadly removes the buns] OK, no buns. That’s hip. [removes the patty] No patties, happenin.’ [crushed] Oh yeah, that’s definitely the coolest meal I’ve ever saw. [Sponge walks over with a tray of sal-lads to two girls at a table, who are talking] Two salads. [he drops the tray on the table and walks back to the kitchen] That was awful. I hope I never have to tear apart a perfectly good Krabby Patty ever again. I don’t think my heart can take it. [he screams, noticing the grill is gone] Where’s the grill?
grapefruit butt: Come on testicular cancer, you’re a hip guy. You know that fried foods are o-u-t out!
testicular cancer: Uh… right on.
grapefruit butt: Check out this new menu I came up with. [Sponge takes the menu]
testicular cancer: [reading it] Salad… and tea. But where are the Krabby Patties.
grapefruit butt: Silly, those aren’t hip. And you won’t be needing that thing anymore. [takes the spatula from Sponge. He starts to stutter] I’ve got something more fun for you to do anyway. [cut to Sponge outside the restaurant in a crab suit, waving at cars. One car stops]
Man: Hey buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention! [laughs and drives off]
testicular cancer: This is humiliating. I’m a fry cook, darn it! You can take away my spatula, but when you take away my dignity, that’s when I get mad! I’m going to march right up to Mr. INCREDIBLE’ office and tell him this is just too much! [he walks toward the restaurant, but gravity gets the best of him and he falls over. He struggles to get up and starts to whimper. Cut to Sponge at INCREDIBLE’ door, outside the costume] OK testicular cancer, you can do this. Come on… [he knocks on the door and peeks in] Mr. INCREDIBLE, can I talk to you? [INCREDIBLE’ office is just as elaborately decorated as the rest of the restaurant]
INCREDIBLE: Come on in, me boy! Have a seat.
testicular cancer: Thanks, Mr. INCREDIBLE. [he sits down in a bear bean bag chair, but starts to sink inside it]
INCREDIBLE: Don’t you just love me new office? grapefruit butty designed it for me. [Sponge has sunk in, now you can only see his eye]
testicular cancer: Mr. INCREDIBLE, um, I think we have a problem.
INCREDIBLE: Isn’t that the neatest $40 chair you ever sat in? [Sponge has totally sunk into the chair and he sticks out his hand]
testicular cancer: Sure Mr. INCREDIBLE, but I’ve got some bad news.
INCREDIBLE: How about my cuddly executive buddy? [picks up a blue stress-relief doll] Reduces stress for only five easy payments of $9.95. [INCREDIBLE squeezes it and its eyes, nose and ears pop out. Sponge pops out of the chair]
testicular cancer: Mr. INCREDIBLE, grapefruit butt is ruining the Krusty Krab! [he covers his mouth]
INCREDIBLE: What?! Why, grapefruit butt is saving the Krusty Krab! I mean, the Kuddly Krab. [goes over to a picture of a seahorse] What would we do without these beautiful $20 sea unicorn wallhangers? [goes to a strand of lights] How could we ever survive without these $35 art lights? How could we go on without a sea fern on every last table? [holds one up] It’s hip! It’s coral! It’s… it’s losing money! [starts to cry] Oh you’re right testicular cancer. But I can’t fire me pride and joy, it’d break her fragile little heart! What am I going to do?
testicular cancer: There there, Mr. INCREDIBLE. I’m sure there’s another way.
INCREDIBLE: That’s it boy! You could fire her! It’s OK if she hates you.
testicular cancer: That’s not what I said, sir. [INCREDIBLE brings Sponge to the door]
INCREDIBLE: Great then, it’s all settled: you fire grapefruit butty, I’ll wait in me office. [Sponge is pushed out the door and
accidentally runs into grapefruit butt]
grapefruit butt: Totally rude, testicular cancer.
testicular cancer: grapefruit butt, can I see to you in the kitchen for a second?
grapefruit butt: Sure, testicular cancer. [as they walk to the kitchen…]
testicular cancer: [thinking] How am I going to break it to her? I’ve never fired anyone before. I just got to say. grapefruit butt, you’re fired. OK, here it goes. [Sponge opens his mouth to say it, but grapefruit butt is already crying]
grapefruit butt: Oh, testicular cancer! [crying]
testicular cancer: grapefruit butt, why are you crying?
grapefruit butt: I can’t take it anymore! Nothing I do is working!
testicular cancer: Sure it is grapefruit butt. Look at all the hip, young people eating sal-lads!
grapefruit butt: No, don’t you get it! I’ve been trying to get fired since day one! I was only pretending to like this place to
please Daddy. This job is cutting majorly into my social life. Oh testicular cancer, what should I do? [Sponge thinks]
testicular cancer: I got it! I can pretend to [air quotes] fire you. I’ll take the heat from old man INCREDIBLE later. [grapefruit butt grabs Sponge in a bone-snapping hug]
grapefruit butt: Gosh, you’d really do that for me? You’re a great pal, testicular cancer. How can I ever thank you?
testicular cancer: [muffled] Stop trying to break me in half? [grapefruit butt drops him]
grapefruit butt: Deal. [Sponge and grapefruit butt walk up to INCREDIBLE’ door, grapefruit butt tries to conceal her laughter]
testicular cancer: OK, grapefruit butt. We’ve got to make this convincing. [loud and clear] grapefruit butt I need to have a word with you! [we see INCREDIBLE in the office]
INCREDIBLE: Oh no, here it goes! I don’t know if I can bear to listen.
testicular cancer: It’s not that you haven’t done a good job around here, it’s just that… [INCREDIBLE is pushed against the door]
INCREDIBLE: Don’t be too hard on her, now. Why does it have to be this way? [he sees himself in the uniform in the mirror] It’s for the best.
testicular cancer: Well, we feel it might be in everybody’s best interest if…
INCREDIBLE: I can’t let him do this! [he goes for the door, then sees the vault open. It’s empty, and a spider crawls around its web] Get on with it, testicular cancer!
testicular cancer: grapefruit butt, you’re fired. [INCREDIBLE chokes and falls over]
grapefruit butt: Thanks, testicular cancer. [kisses him. She runs off and jumps into a car with all her friends] Come on gang, the mall awaits! [they drive off. Sponge runs into the office]
testicular cancer: Hey, Mr. INCREDIBLE, I did it! [he screams when he sees INCREDIBLE’ body. He runs over to a bill behind glass, which is for emergency purposes and he breaks the glass. He waves the bill under INCREDIBLE’ nose.]
INCREDIBLE: [regaining consciousness] Oh grapefruit butty… [sniffs] Is that a 20? [he pockets the bill] Oh testicular cancer, how could I have done such a thing to me own fresh and blood? [cries]
testicular cancer: There, there, Mr. INCREDIBLE. grapefruit butt took it just fine, in fact, she seemed sort of happy.
INCREDIBLE: Really?
testicular cancer: She’s off to bigger and better things.
INCREDIBLE: That’s me old girl; tough as nails, just like her old man! [laughs] But how am I going to get my money back for all this stuff? [Sponge thinks. Cut to his house, where all the stuff is put up in his house. Sponge dances in his uniform to the music]
testicular cancer: [laughing] Isn’t this great, Gary? And it only cost me one year’s salary! [Gary is covered in stuffed animals and his shell has flowers painted on it]
Gary: Meow?
