Please note: Due to constant attempts by spambots to gain access to SpongePedia, account creation is currently disabled. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You are not logged in. Please log in to get the full benefit of SpongePedia.
For further questions go to SpongePedia:Contents !
Editing Episode Transcript: Artist Unknown
Warning: You are not logged in.
Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.The edit can be undone.
Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
| Latest revision | Your text | ||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| + | |||
*[[SpongeBob]] | *[[SpongeBob]] | ||
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] | *[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] | ||
*[[Monty P. Moneybags]] | *[[Monty P. Moneybags]] | ||
| − | |||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
| − | Squidward: Ah, how I have dreamed of this day. Mr. Tentacles: Professor of Art. What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom. Bring me your | + | |
| + | Squidward: Ah, how I have dreamed of this day. Mr. Tentacles: Professor of Art. What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom. Bring me your huddle masses of bored house wives and I will shape them into my image. (wife’s head turns into Squidward’s) And I'll go down in history, someday. And there will be a wing with my name on it in all the museums of the world. | ||
Janitor: Dude, you're teaching art at the rec' center. Calm down. | Janitor: Dude, you're teaching art at the rec' center. Calm down. | ||
| − | Squidward: Uncultured trash urchin. | + | Squidward: Uncultured trash urchin. 9am. Time to let the class in. Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer. (opens door) Welcome to art class! |
Fish: Oh, isn't this cooking? Sorry. (everyone leaves except one) | Fish: Oh, isn't this cooking? Sorry. (everyone leaves except one) | ||
| Line 36: | Line 37: | ||
Squidward: (Sarcastically) Yeah. Grab a little piece of Heaven and let's get on with it. | Squidward: (Sarcastically) Yeah. Grab a little piece of Heaven and let's get on with it. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles. |
Squidward: So, you wanna be an artist, eh, SpongeBob? | Squidward: So, you wanna be an artist, eh, SpongeBob? | ||
| Line 51: | Line 52: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent. | '''SpongeBob''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent. | ||
| − | Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles | + | Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles talent will rub off on me. |
'''SpongeBob''': If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent...(Stammers in confusion) will rub his tentacles on my art. (smiles) | '''SpongeBob''': If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent...(Stammers in confusion) will rub his tentacles on my art. (smiles) | ||
| − | Squidward: (Obviously annoyed) Whatever. Ok. Since you’re telling me you have no prior training, we'll have to start from square one. Or should I say circle one (Draws a terrible circle | + | Squidward: (Obviously annoyed) Whatever. Ok. Since you’re telling me you have no prior training, we'll have to start from square one. Or should I say circle one (Draws a terrible circle). (laughs) Am I going to fast for you SpongeBob? |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': How's this, Squidward? (Holds up a perfect circle he | + | '''SpongeBob''': How's this, Squidward? (Holds up a perfect circle he draw) |
Squidward: What the? How the? A perfect circle? Do it again. Show your process. | Squidward: What the? How the? A perfect circle? Do it again. Show your process. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Well, first I draw this head (Draws a | + | '''SpongeBob''': Well, first I draw this head (Draws a live head). Then I erase some of the more detailed features (When the smoke clears up it shows the skeleton of the face he draw and when erasing again it turns into a perfect circle.) And one, two, three. A circle (Squidward is glaring), uhh, thingy. |
Squidward: Gimme that. (crumples paper) Forget the circles. | Squidward: Gimme that. (crumples paper) Forget the circles. | ||
| Line 67: | Line 68: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': Ooh, nice one Squidward. Let me try. (Crumples paper into an origami statue of himself and Squidward then laughs) Looky, Squidward. It's you and me playing leapfrog. That's you on the bottom. | '''SpongeBob''': Ooh, nice one Squidward. Let me try. (Crumples paper into an origami statue of himself and Squidward then laughs) Looky, Squidward. It's you and me playing leapfrog. That's you on the bottom. | ||
| − | Squidward: (Shocked) Gimme that. (rips up paper) There is nothing artistic about leapfrog. (SpongeBob | + | Squidward: (Shocked) Gimme that. (rips up paper) There is nothing artistic about leapfrog. (SpongeBob puts pieces together) What are you doing, now?! |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I call it: Rippy Bits. You take a bunch of old ripped of paper and make a new picture out of it. See? | + | '''SpongeBob''': I call it: Rippy Bits. You take a bunch of old ripped of paper, and make a new picture out of it. See? (Squidward glares at him again) You're on top...this...time. (blows paper) |
Squidward: Do you want to learn art, or not?!! | Squidward: Do you want to learn art, or not?!! | ||
| Line 79: | Line 80: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': (hits marble with tools and it cracks apart leaving a marble sculpture of Michelangelo's David statue) How's this Squidward? | '''SpongeBob''': (hits marble with tools and it cracks apart leaving a marble sculpture of Michelangelo's David statue) How's this Squidward? | ||
| − | Squidward: (Cries) It's beautiful. (Stammers) I mean, this isn't a sculpture. A good sculpture takes...more time. You can't just sculpt Willie-Nillie. You've got to go by the book. Follow the rules. Otherwise, you'll never get | + | Squidward: (Cries) It's beautiful. (Stammers) I mean, this isn't a sculpture. A good sculpture takes...more time. You can't just sculpt Willie-Nillie. You've got to go by the book.... Follow the rules. Otherwise, you'll never get passed Amateur Hour, here. Besides, you've got the nose wrong. (Squidward puts a nose like his on the sculpture) There, now it's art. |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, it's so obvious. I would've never thought of that. I'm sorry, Squidward. I came here to learn and I arrogantly shunned your lessons. I'll never be a great artist like you. I don't deserve your tutoring. I don't deserve your kindness. I don't even deserve to use your door. (door opens hitting SpongeBob out the window | + | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, it's so obvious. I would've never thought of that. I'm sorry, Squidward. I came here to learn and I arrogantly shunned your lessons. I'll never be a great artist like you. I don't deserve your tutoring. I don't deserve your kindness. I don't even deserve to use your door. (door opens hitting SpongeBob out the window in the garbage) |
Monty: Hello there. | Monty: Hello there. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': But I did deserve that. ( | + | '''SpongeBob''': But I did deserve that. (garbage door closes) I deserved that, too. (garbage truck drives by, and loads the garbage and SpongeBob in its' garbage pail before driving off towards the dump) And I deserve this! |
Monty: Good day, sir. | Monty: Good day, sir. | ||
| Line 121: | Line 122: | ||
Monty: Angelic form, amazing detail, perfect censorship. (Smiles) This is the work of a true genius. (Frowns in confusion) Hello? What's this?!!?? (Sees the nose Squidward added) This is the only flaw. (Smiles, rips off Squidward's added nose which falls on Squidward's forehead giving him two noses. Monty sees the human nose on the statue) Ah, that's more like it. I simply must find the artist responsible. He shall have fame. | Monty: Angelic form, amazing detail, perfect censorship. (Smiles) This is the work of a true genius. (Frowns in confusion) Hello? What's this?!!?? (Sees the nose Squidward added) This is the only flaw. (Smiles, rips off Squidward's added nose which falls on Squidward's forehead giving him two noses. Monty sees the human nose on the statue) Ah, that's more like it. I simply must find the artist responsible. He shall have fame. | ||
| − | Squidward: Fame. (Squidward imagines himself | + | Squidward: Fame. (Squidward imagines himself as popular) |
Monty: Fortune. | Monty: Fortune. | ||
| Line 133: | Line 134: | ||
Monty: I can see it now. Your name in the world's most prestigious museums. I'm gonna make you, immortal!! Now, uh, help me get this in the car. | Monty: I can see it now. Your name in the world's most prestigious museums. I'm gonna make you, immortal!! Now, uh, help me get this in the car. | ||
| − | Squidward: I could use a little help. ( | + | Squidward: I could use a little help. (sculptures head falls off and turns into dust) My fame, my fortune, my hair. |
| − | Monty: Well, that's a bit | + | Monty: Well, that's a bit a bad luck right there. But, this shouldn't be a problem for an artist of your magnitude. You can whip up another one. |
Squidward: Yeah, no problem. You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off. | Squidward: Yeah, no problem. You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off. | ||
| Line 141: | Line 142: | ||
Monty: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks. (laughs) | Monty: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks. (laughs) | ||
| − | Squidward: Yeah, no socks. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye. I gotta find SpongeBob!! (at | + | Squidward: Yeah, no socks. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye. I gotta find SpongeBob!! (at dump) SpongeBob...SpongeBob? SpongeBob! |
'''SpongeBob''': Go away, Squidward. I don't deserve your kindness. | '''SpongeBob''': Go away, Squidward. I don't deserve your kindness. | ||
| − | Squidward: Hey, cheer up. I have decided to give you another chance. Why, with a great teacher like me, anything is possible. | + | Squidward: Hey, cheer up. I have decided to give you another chance. Why, with a great teacher like me, anything is possible. |
'''SpongeBob''': Don't look at me Squidward. Don't look at my shame. These hands weren't meant to create. They only destroy. I can't look at them. (SpongeBob's hands pop off and run into a soup can) | '''SpongeBob''': Don't look at me Squidward. Don't look at my shame. These hands weren't meant to create. They only destroy. I can't look at them. (SpongeBob's hands pop off and run into a soup can) | ||
| Line 175: | Line 176: | ||
Squidward: Ah, ah. Wait, wait. Let me help. Let's start with the circle again. | Squidward: Ah, ah. Wait, wait. Let me help. Let's start with the circle again. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': | + | '''SpongeBob''': I did it, Squidward. |
Squidward: Huh? But, but, what about the head...and the erasing, and the, the... | Squidward: Huh? But, but, what about the head...and the erasing, and the, the... | ||
| Line 185: | Line 186: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': That's not in the book, either. | '''SpongeBob''': That's not in the book, either. | ||
| − | Squidward: Forget about the book. (rips book) Ha! Look at all this mess SpongeBob. What do all these little pieces of paper make you want to do | + | Squidward: Forget about the book. (rips book) Ha! Look at all this mess SpongeBob. What do all these little pieces of paper make you want to do. |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wait, I know this. Oh, wait, I think I got it. (puts | + | '''SpongeBob''': Wait, I know this. Oh, wait, I think I got it. (puts book back together) Tada! (Squidward's nose melts off his face) |
Squidward: Ok, SpongeBob. Let's just move onto the marble. | Squidward: Ok, SpongeBob. Let's just move onto the marble. | ||
| Line 195: | Line 196: | ||
Squidward: Now you've got it. | Squidward: Now you've got it. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta embrace the marble. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta embrace the marble. |
Squidward: Right. | Squidward: Right. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta sniff the marble. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta sniff the marble. |
Squidward: Well, uh, ok. | Squidward: Well, uh, ok. | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta lick the marble. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta lick the marble. |
Squidward: Uhh... | Squidward: Uhh... | ||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta wash the marble. | + | '''SpongeBob''': I've gotta wash the marble. I've gotta date the marble. I've gotta be the marble. I've got it. I have see the sculpture within. |
Squidward: Here you go, buddy. | Squidward: Here you go, buddy. | ||
| Line 213: | Line 214: | ||
'''SpongeBob''': With this tool, I shall give birth to art. | '''SpongeBob''': With this tool, I shall give birth to art. | ||
| − | Squidward: Oh, boy. (SpongeBob taps | + | Squidward: Oh, boy. (SpongeBob taps marble with tool and breaks into pieces) |
| + | |||
| − | '''SpongeBob''': But, one more thing. (puts a copy of Squidward's nose on it) There. Now it's art. Well, what do you think, Squidward? Just take it all in for a moment. Let it soak in. (Squidward gets irritated, screams | + | '''SpongeBob''': But, one more thing. (puts a copy of Squidward's nose on it) There. Now it's art. Well, what do you think, Squidward? Just take it all in for a moment. Let it soak in. (Squidward gets irritated, screams and throws everything in his classroom into a pile) It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward. Oh, well, back to the dump. To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump dump. To the dump, to the dump, To the dump, dump dump. (The room smokes up and the doors open) |
Monty: I'm here for the...what the? Who is responsible for this? | Monty: I'm here for the...what the? Who is responsible for this? | ||
| − | Squidward: As of now, it's his responsibility. (puts hat on janitor's head) Good day to you, sir. ( | + | Squidward: As of now, it's his responsibility. (puts hat on janitor's head) Good day to you, sir. (This is a reference to "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory", where Mr. Wonka tells Charlie and Grandpa Joe that they lost the contest by saying: "You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!") |
(The janitor and Monty see the mess which forms a better sculpture of David) | (The janitor and Monty see the mess which forms a better sculpture of David) | ||
| − | Monty: You, sir, are the greatest artist | + | Monty: You, sir, are the greatest artist whoever lived! |
{{Transcripts/Season 2}} | {{Transcripts/Season 2}} | ||
