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| − | {{tra|Clams}}
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| − | !Back Episode Transcript
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| − | !Next Episode Transcript
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| − | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: New Student Starfish|New Student Starfish]]
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| − | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Ugh!|UGH]]
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| − | Episode Article: [[Clams (Episode)|Clams]]
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| − | ==Characters==
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| − | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
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| − | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
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| − | *[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
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| − | *[[Old Blue Lips]]
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| − | *[[Scooter]]
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| − | *[[Hans]]
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| − | *[[Gary the Snail]] (cameo)
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| − | ==Dialogue==
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| − | (at the Krusty Krab)
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| − | '''Sandals''': Uhh, what do you like better? The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': I like neither. Can I take your order?<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': What about the barnacle rings, are they any good?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': No. What will you have?<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': Well, uhh, what’s your vote on the kelp...<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Sir, let’s just get this out of the way. I hate everything on the menu! Now what do you want?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (pokes his head out from behind the kitchen window) Psst, try the coral bits.<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': Uhh, I’ll try the coral bits.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': That will be one dollar. (rings up one dollar then a siren goes off)<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': What’s going on?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Something stupid, I’m sure. (alarm stops as a curtain opens up to show a real band in the background playing
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| − | music. Mr. Krabs comes out from his office)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Yippee! (kisses the customer and Squidward. Takes the dollar and rubs it all over himself) Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': See? I told you.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': What’s wrong with Mr. Krabs?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': (runs over to the counter) Nothing, lad! Do you know what this is?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': A very dirty dollar?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': No, this is my one millionth dollar earned! Every crab’s goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I
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| − | got mine. Congratulations, sir, you have just given me my one millionth dollar!<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': Ha, great. Uhh, what do I win?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Nothing, now get out.<br>
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| − | '''Sandals''': Uhh, what?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Get out! Everybody get out, you’re spoiling me moment! (pushes everyone out the door) Me millionth dollar.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Congratulations, Mr. Krabs!<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Congratulate yourselves, lad! A captain’s nothing without his loyal crew. I mean, a crew like you comes around
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| − | maybe once in a lifetime. And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I’m taking you on a trip.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wow, a trip!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': I can’t believe it, Mr. Krabs. Where we going, Fancy Springs? (scene cuts to the three of them in a pool)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': No.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Pamper Island? (scene cuts to the three of them laying on towels at a beach)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Try again.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Ooh, ooh, ooh, Bikini Bottom Folk Village? (scene cuts to the three of them in 18th century clothing)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Better than that! (scene cuts to them wearing raincoats on a boat as Squidward's smile turns to a glare)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for (clams are jumping) stinky clams on a smelly old boat on
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| − | a filthy lagoon? You call this fun?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Aww, come on now, Squidward. Three fellas at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a
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| − | few clams then throw them back. Don’t you think that’s fun?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': No. (takes off his raincoat and sits on his chair) And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, you want me to cast out over here so you can watch me?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Okay! (SpongeBob casts his line behind him which catches on Squidward’s magazine. SpongeBob brins his line forward
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| − | and casts it in the lagoon. SpongeBob casts Squidward's chair)
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| − | '''Squidward''': Hey, watch where you're swinging that... (SpongeBob casts Squidward's shirt out in the lagoon) SpongeBob, be
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| − | careful with... (SpongeBob casts Squidward's nose into the lagoon. Squidward screams then walks up to Mr. Krabs)
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| − | Okay, I’ve had enough.<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': (laughs) Oh Squidward, you got to lighten up. (SpongeBob is still casting out items while Mr. Krabs talks to
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| − | Squidward) Sure the lad’s a bit over eager, but you've got to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow. And don’t
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| − | bring anything on a boat that you ain’t prepared to lose! (laughs. SpongeBob casts Mr. Krabs millionth dollar into the
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| − | lagoon) Me millionth dollar! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in
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| − | before I keelhaul ya. (music plays) Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can’t you hear the music? That’s a 4/4 string
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| − | ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it’s too late! Hurry, SpongeBob, the music’s
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| − | getting faster! (SpongeBob reels it in as fast as he can. Mr. Krabs opens the doors to the orchestra) There you are ya
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| − | stinkin' bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it. Swim
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| − | faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Here she comes. (Mr. Krabs begs, SpongeBob reels the dollar in) She made it!<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': (holds up the dollar and cheers) For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! (ominous orchestra music plays
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| − | again. A giant clam jumps up and takes Mr. Krabs dollar, swam away and it's gone forever and Mr. Krabs starts crying)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': So, some trip, eh, Mr. Krabs?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, Squidward, you’re never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar! (bawling) I lost
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| − | me dollar and I’ll never get it back. Never, never, never, never, never!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I’ve never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up. (Mr. Krabs is literally in pieces, crying)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act. (Mr. Krabs is blubbering) Mr. Krabs, it's
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| − | just a stupid dollar. (continues blubbering. Mr. Krabs pours tears into his mouth) For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up!
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| − | (Mr. Krabs’ eyes fill up the tears) Mr. Krabs... (Mr. Krabs cries like a fountain) Mr. Krabs... (Mr. Krabs leaks out tears like water faucets, wailing and crying) Okay, okay, Mr. Krabs, we’ll help you get your dollar back!
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| − | (Mr. Krabs throws his thumb away that he was sucking on)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': You will? Great! Wait right here. (runs off to get some items. Comes back with a bunch of fishing gear on)
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| − | Here’s where clam fishing gets serious. (scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is on top of the boat and SpongeBob
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| − | and Squidward are on the lower deck) Okay, you boys man the fishing poles and I’ll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (salutes) Aye aye, captain!<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': And remember, we don’t leave until we catch that clam and rescue me dollar. (Mr. Krabs scouts the area. Scene
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| − | cuts to later where Mr. Krabs has a beard on from scouting for too long. Squidward and SpongeBob looks the same as Mr. Krabs)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': That’s it, I’m finished! We’ve been here for three days and haven’t gotten a nibble. This is hopeless!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, and I’ve got to get home to feed Gary. (scene cuts to Gary chewing the couch at home)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': We’re gonna die out here just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar. (takes a dollar out of his wallet)
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| − | Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, I get ya. (jabbers. Scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is still scouting the area)
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| − | '''SpongeBob & Squidward''': Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs steers his eyes toward the other two to see them waving a dollar)
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| − | Look what we’ve got!<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': (jumps down and gasps) Could it be? (takes the dollar) Me millionth dollar? (starts cheering again as well as
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| − | SpongeBob and Squidward) Whoo-hoo! (stops dancing) Wait a minute... (rubs the dollar back and forth) This isn't me
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| − | millionth dollar. (SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other) This is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn
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| − | slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick. (shows dollar bill just like described)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (Holding a blue make-up kit) Actually, it's Coral Blue number t...(Squidward hits him with the fishing pole)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can’t believe me own crew would betray me like this. (cries)
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| − | '''Squidward''': No. Uh-uh. No, we will not be swayed by tears anymore.
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': I see. Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': You’re kidding?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Woo! Is it another fishing trip?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': No, it’s this sandwich. (nails the sandwich to a pole)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': A sandwich? You expect me to break my back over a sandwich?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Not a sandwich. (throws the other sandwiches into the water) The sandwich.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Whatever. We’ve got plenty more to... (Mr. Krabs throws the refrigerator into the water) ...eat.<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone COMPLETELY INSANE?!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': What do you mean?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Just look at him. (pointing to Mr. Krabs, who is dressed like he is at a funeral crying at a tombstone with the
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| − | words 'R.I.P. Me Millionth Dollar' on it. Then he hugs it)
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Squidward, he’s lost something near and dear to him. Haven’t you--<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Look again. (Mr. Krabs uses his eyes as a jump rope while giggling)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You’re right. How do we get out of here?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': If we’re real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Okay. (both scream over to the boat. They jump into it but then come back onto the boat tied up)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': So, you thought you’d skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you’re
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| − | thinking. "It’s just a dumb old dollar. Let’s just leave the old man. He won’t notice." (sobs) Well, it’s not going down
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| − | like that. There’s only one use for a backstabbing crew like you: (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat.
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| − | SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line) Live bait.<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': You’re crazy! If that clam didn’t come before, what makes you think he’ll come now?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': (dressed up as a conductor) Oh, he’ll come. (opens up the doors to the orchestra and begins to play the ominous
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| − | music)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, listen, I work with SpongeBob all day long, so I know what I’m talking about when I say...you are
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| − | completely out of your mind! (Mr. Krabs giggles madly. The giant clam emerges above water coming closer to the two on the line)
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| − | Get us out of here!<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Come on, fresh meat! (SpongeBob and Squidward scream as they try to wiggle back and forth to avoid the giant
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| − | clam) Keep thrashing! He likes it! (both continue to scream and bounce up and down really fast) Come on, boy! Closer.
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| − | Closer. Almost there. (giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue) That’s it! (closes the doors to cause the music to stop.
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| − | The giant clam stops in mid-air of eating SpongeBob and Squidward and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar) Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I
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| − | finally got it! (rubs his dollar on himself) I finally got me millionth dollar! (cabin doors open to play the ominous
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| − | music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and goes underwater. Cabin doors close as the
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| − | conductor takes a bow)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. Why couldn’t it have been me?!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Yes, why couldn’t it have been you?! (both cry)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Why did he have to go like this, why?!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot?! (both cry loudly)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Hello, boys!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob & Squidward''': Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs' head is above the water)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Have you boys met... (holds his millionth dollar up) ...me millionth dollar? (chuckles)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wow, how did you get it back?<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': It wasn’t easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter, so, eventually, we settled on a trade.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': What did you give him? (Mr. Krabs jumps up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and an arm)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Nothing important. (laughs)
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| − | {{Transcripts/Season 3}}
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| − | [[Category:Transcript]]
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| − | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
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