Episode Transcript: The Two Faces of Squidward

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Episode Article: The Two Faces of Squidward

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Characters

• SpongeBob
• Patrick
• Squidward
• Mr. Krabs
• Dr. Gill Gilliam

Music: Squidward Had a Krabby Patty

Squidward had a Krabby Patty,
Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty.
Squidward had a Krabby Patty
Who's face was white as snow.

Squidward had a Krabby Patty,
Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty.
Squidward had a Krabby Patty
Who's face was white as snow.

Squidward: Do you mind, I'm trying to work in a fast food restaurant, do you wanna try it sometime?

SpongeBob: I'm sure well Squidward, that sounds... (Patrick interferes)

Patrick: Oh wait a minute, SpongeBob, you're re-doing your work at a fast food restaurant!

SpongeBob: Oh yeah!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay!

Squidward: Reminds me of Firetype Theraphist (shows the costumers) and stop brining neighbors to work!

Patrick: We're not just neighbors.

SpongeBob: You can say that again!

Patrick: Were not just... (Squidward interferes)

Squidward: I don't care! (faces the costumers embarassed)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty!

Squidward: (Squidward is shown like a thermometer, reaching the boiling point) Alright, I'm gonna, I don't know what to do! (Spongebob opens the door and bashes Squidward's face)

SpongeBob: (singing) Here comes the Krabby Patty when she comes!

Squidward: Aww! (SpongeBob looks into Squidward) SpongeBob, you nickelboom you broke my face! Don't just stand there, help me! I need a doctor in this!

(Sounds of operation, Spongebob eats Krusty Krab hats, Doctor Gill Gilliam opens the door)

SpongeBob: Oh, doctor is he gonna be alright, for the love of Neptune tell me!

Dr. Gill Gilliam: Well son...

SpongeBob: No! don't tell me! I can't take it...(SpongeBob is crying)

Dr. Gill Gilliam: We Should know...

SpongeBob: No, please, please don't...

Dr. Gill Gilliam: We won't know for two weeks. You'll just have to wait. (Dr. Gill Gilliam leaves)

SpongeBob: Two weeks, I'll never make it. (SpongeBob fell down)

Nurse: Morining SpongeBob, you're early today.

SpongeBob: Good mornin' nurse Pregid. Hiya Squidward! I've been practicing how to flop on my back.

Dr. Gill Gilliam: We can't really have you in here, I;m going to remove his bandages and he made me sware to keep you far away from him.

SpongeBob: It had been two weeks already! (SpongeBob Smiling). Don't worry doc. I promise to stay out of the way.

Dr. Gill Gilliam: Ok as long as you stay at the other side (sighs) right (takes out some scissors and is about to remove the bandages on Squidward's face)

SpongeBob: Don't rush it!, Sorry go ahead. Wait!

Dr. Gill Gilliam: What is it? (angrily)

SpongeBob: Are you sure that this patient has enough emensmansera?

Dr. Gill Gilliam: I have no idea what that is. Please just let me work.

SpongeBob: Very well doctor, carry on.

Dr. Gill Gilliam: May I?

SpongeBob: Hold it! The readings on this brain meter are all wrong! We must pospone the operation.

Dr. Gill Gilliam: That is a television set put here for the patient's enjoyement and it's not yet been plugged in the wall!

SpongeBob: You're right doctor proceed with tever. Hold it!

Dr. Gill Gilliam: Now what?!

(On the television)

Nurse: Doctor, we can't do this, surely we can use a less dangerous procedure after all we have to start thinking about the welfero... (Dr. Gill Gilliam turns off the TV)

SpongeBob: Wait!

Dr: Gill Gilliam: What could it possibly be this time?

SpongeBob: I just want to say sorry for interupting you before.

Dr. Gill Gilliam: I...I...I can't belive it. (Dr. Gill Gilliam collapses)

Squidward: SpongeBob

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Squidward: How does it look?

SpongeBob: Great Neptune...

Squidward: Come on spit it out, I can take it.

Nurse: Time for your medicine Mister...Mister...Mmmm...Handsome... (The nurse melted)

Squidward: What did she call me?

SpongeBob: Handsome, but she spelled it wrong.

Squidward: Quick hand me that mirror. What the? Wait a second that nurse is right. I am handsome.

SpongeBob: Squidward you're not handsome. You're a hunk!

(People then started to notice Squidward)

Female Fish #1: So handsome! (faints)

Male Fish #1: Handsome! (Then more people faints)

Male Fish #2: (Crash!) Hello Handsome.

SpongeBob: Gee Squidward, people seemed to be noticing how handsome you are now. You might even be more handsome than before.

Female Fish #1: Ahhhh!! So handsome!

SpongeBob: If that's even possible.

Old lady in a wheel chair: Uh...Ahhh! It's a miracle...I can walk.

Blind Man: I could see!

Fat Student Fish: I could fly! uhh, ohh (starts to fly) my shoe's untied (his shoe falls).

Female Teen Fish: Mr. Handsome, can I have your autograph? No! not in the book, on my retainer.

SpongeBob and Squidward: A limousine?! (shocked then the crowd cheers).

Squidward: Well SpongeBob, earlier today my spine was hurting, now I'm resting on fine leather uphostery (Limo stops at Squidward's house while the crowd cheers for them).

SpongeBob: Now I'm gonna clip my toenails Squidward, don't forget to enjoy being handsome.

Squidward: Oh, don't worry.

Crowd: (Cheers) Handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome...(night time and crowd still keeps on cheering for Squidward until dawn).

Squidward: Huh? Well better go greet the commoners.

Crowd: Handsome, handsome, handsome...

Squidward: Good morning my people! Sorry to have kept you waiting, but even I (laughs) stranger to seen, need my beauty sleep.

Male Fish #3: I want his shirt!

Male Fish #4: I want his eyelids!