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Editing Episode Transcript: Club SpongeBob
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| − | !Back Episode | + | !Back Episode Transscript |
| − | !Next Episode | + | !Next Episode Transscript |
|- | |- | ||
| − | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode | + | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: SpongeGuard On Duty|SpongeGuard on Duty]] |
| − | |[[Episode | + | |[[Episode Transscript: My Pretty Seahorse|My Pretty Seahorse]] |
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==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
| − | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants | + | |
| − | *[[Patrick Star | + | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants]] |
| − | *[[Squidward Tentacles | + | *[[Patrick Star]] |
| + | *[[Squidward Tentacles]] | ||
*[[Magic Conch Shell]] | *[[Magic Conch Shell]] | ||
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| − | + | (Scene starts with Squidward coming out of his with a bicycle.)<br> | |
| − | ( | + | Spongebob and Patrick: (Giggling)<br> |
| − | + | Spongebob: Whey wook.. it's Wuidward!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: What?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: (laughter)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Wuidward's woing to work.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: (laughter)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Where...does he work? At the Wusty Wrab?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: (laughter)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: What's that supposed to mean? Some kind of stupid secret code?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: We can't tell you because your not a member of the club.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh yeah? What does it take to be a member? Besides being a moron... Hahaha...moron...as a requirement...hahaha...<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Sorry Squidward.. but you couldn't even get in if you tried!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Well I'll have you know.. that I am a member of over 20 exclusive clubs all over the sea bottom.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: What'd he say?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: I dunno.. something about his nose? <br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Squidward.. you and your nose will definitely NOT fit in!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh what do two you zeros know about fitting in? | |
| − | + | (Climbs vine)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Why...you should be begging me to join!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: No no no!! Stop.. you can't get in!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward gets stuck in the treehouse)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Well this is stupid.. there's no room up here!!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: That's what we've been trying to tell you!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: We've been stuck up here for three days..<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: We told you you wouldn't fit in..<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (sneers)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Well...since you're here Squidward...we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready Patrick?<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Ready! | |
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| + | Music: "[[Welcome to our Club]]" | ||
Welcome to our club, | Welcome to our club, | ||
Welcome to our club. | Welcome to our club. | ||
| + | Welcome Squidward | ||
| + | Welcome Squidward, | ||
| + | Welcome Squidward | ||
Welcome Squidward! | Welcome Squidward! | ||
| − | + | Squidward: Shut your half-wit pieholes!! I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Gets to floor then vine snaps)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!<br> | |
| − | + | Female Fish: Whoa!!<br> | |
| − | + | Male Fish: Make a wish, honey.<br> | |
| − | + | (Treehouse falls into kelp forest)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: Whoo!! Whoo!! Whoo!! Again!! Again!! WHOLOOLOOLOOLOO...<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh, no. That didn't just happen. Please tell me that didn't happen!!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: What happened?<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward moves away)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Where are we? We're lost. There's no way out!! Stuck.. in the middle of nowhere.. with Spongebob and Patrick!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob and Patrick wave at Squidward crying)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Why does every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? WHHHYY?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Oh cheer up Squid. It could be worse.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward's nose deflates)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Well.. this is the end..<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: No it's not Squidward!!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: (building coffins) It's not?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Come on guys, we'll be fine!! (patting Squidward's head) As long as we stick together, remember, we're a club!! WHOOOLOOOLOOOOLLOOOOLOOOO!! And besides...we have THIS!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob pulls out the Magic Conch Shell)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: What's that?<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: OOOOO!! The Magic Conch Shell!! Ask it something!! Ask it something!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Magic Conch Shell...will I ever get married?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Maybe someday.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: Oooohhhh...<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: You've got to be kidding!! That is just a STUPID toy!! How can that possibly help us?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: (gasp) Squidward, you must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes it's advice before we do anything.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: The shell knows all!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Oh, Magic Conch...what do we have to do to get out of the Kelp Forest?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Nothing.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: THE SHELL HAS SPOKEN!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do NOTHING!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob and Patrick sit down.. doing nothing)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (gets mad) I can't believe you two are gonna take advice.. from a TOY!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob and Patrick still do nothing.)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Alright. Alright. Alright!! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity. but don't you two come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Walking away in kelp forest)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Sad clowns.. Haha. Haha. Sad. Haha. Haha. Clowns. Haha. Haha.<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward runs fast and scared.)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: What was that? I was already here!! Which way do I go? Ohh I'm lost!! Ohh...I'm HOPELESSLY LOST!! I'll never get out of here!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Sees light)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Huh? Huh? Hhahahahahahaahhaa!! I'm FREE!! Take that Spongebob and Patrick!! Ahahaha!! Ahahaha!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Fist pumps in air. Sees Spongebob and Patrick)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Ohh...there's no way out of here.<br> | |
| − | + | (Stick is thrown at Patrick's head.. Squidward has surrounded himself with sticks and a fire)<br> | |
| − | before we do anything. | + | Squidward: How's it going over their at Club Shell-For-Brains? Mmm mmm mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club SQUIDWARD tonight?<br> |
| − | + | (Steps on bug)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Aahhhhh...<br> | |
| − | + | (Throws bug onto pan then walks over to Spongebob)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oooohh.. Doesn't that smell good Spongebob? You haven't eaten in days..<br> | |
| − | + | (Walks over to Patrick)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: How about you Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat.. Well you can't have any.. <br> | |
| − | + | (Walks Away)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: And do you know why Spongebob? Because your club president is a shell!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Shakes butt at Spongebob)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: If you had listened to me.. you'd have food.. shelter.. and a roaring fire.. But instead.. you listen to a talking clam..<br> | |
| − | + | (Moves back to Club Squidward)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: That tells you NOTHING!! As if the answers of all your answers will fall right out of the sky!! Hahaha!! Fall right out of the sky!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Airplane falling out of the sky)<br> | |
| − | + | Pilot 1: Dude!! We're falling right out the sky!! We gotta drop the load!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Presses "Drop the Load" button. Drops picnic supplies (food) to where Spongebob and Patrick are)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward stares and the bug gets up and hits him with the stick. Spongebob and Patrick eat)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: Ahahahaha!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Hey uhh Spongebob.. that sure is a lot of food you got there..<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: It's a gift from the Magic Conch..<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious. Oohh!! Smoked Sausages!! My favorite!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Reaches for them but Patrick sucks them in and eats them)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Hey, uhh, Spongebob, you know I was just kidding before earlier and I mean I'm still part of the club and I mean the club has to stick together, and uhh, uhh...<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Squidward...<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Yes, Spongebob?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Once a member, always a member!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: (clink glasses) To the club!! WHOOLOOOLOOOLOOLOOOOLOOO!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Yeah.. Whooloolooloo.. Now if you'll excuse me... | |
| − | + | (Runs to table with all the food)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: What should I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Why don't you ask.. The Magic Conch Squidward?<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob and Patrick pull table away)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: (gasp) Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The Conch is the one who gave us this banquet.. This copyrighted conch is the quarterstone of our organization!!<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Maybe he's not a brother.<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob looks at Patrick wide-eyed)<br> | |
| − | banquet.. This copyrighted conch is the | + | Squidward: Hehehe...you guys have it all wrong!! I love this little piece of plastic.<br> |
| − | + | (picks up Magic Conch)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Hello there. Uhh, Magic Conch, I was wondering...should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Neither.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Oh. Well what about the soup?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: I don't think so.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Can I have anything to eat?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: No.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: No?! What do you mean No? I'm starving here!! | |
| − | + | Patrick: (takes Magic Conch) Here, lemme try. Magic Conch...can Squidward have some of this yummy-delicious-super terrific sandwich?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: No.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Hmm.. Can I this yummy-delicious-super-terrific sandwich?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Yes.<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Alright!! (Vacuums in sandwich) Sorry Squidward.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (takes Magic Conch) Could I have something to eat?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: No.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Could I have something to eat?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: No.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Could I have something to eat?<br> | |
| − | sandwich? | + | Magic Conch: No.<br> |
| − | + | Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Try asking again.<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: Can I have something to eat?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: NoOoOoOo<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward fumes...getting mad)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob: Squidward, are you alright?<br> | |
| − | + | (Squidward still getting mad)<br> | |
| − | + | Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's ok.<br> | |
| − | + | Rescuer: Hello? Anyone there? Hello? HELLO? Do you folks need some help?<br> | |
| − | + | (Cuts through kelp...seeing Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: I'm SAVED!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Runs over to Rescuer)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: You don't know how happy I am to see you.. I've been stuck out here for weeks.. with these two barnacle heads.. and their Magic Conch Shell!!<br> | |
| − | + | Rescuer: Magic...Conch...Shell? (pulls out Magic Conch) YOU MEAN LIKE THIS? (with two big teeth)<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob and Patrick: The Magic Conch!! A club member!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob, Patrick, and Rescuer: WHOOLOOOLOOOLOOOLOOOO!!<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: (looking down) A brother?<br> | |
| − | + | Rescuer: My conch told me to come and save you guys!!<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob, Patrick, and Rescuer: Hooray for the Magic Conches!!<br> | |
| − | + | Rescuer: Alright Magic Conch.. What do we do now?<br> | |
| − | + | Magic Conch: Nothing.<br> | |
| − | + | Spongebob, Patrick, and Rescuer: All hail the Magic Conch!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Spongebob, Patrick, and the Rescuer sit down doing nothing. Squidward moves behind them)<br> | |
| − | + | Squidward: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!!<br> | |
| − | + | (Sits down with Spongebob, Patrick, and the Rescuer) | |
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