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Editing Episode Transcript: A Day Without Tears
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==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] | ||
− | *[[ | + | *[[Narrator]] |
− | *[[Gary | + | *[[Gary]] |
− | + | ||
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] | *[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] | ||
*Dad Fish | *Dad Fish | ||
− | + | *[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] | |
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | ||
*Radio DJ | *Radio DJ | ||
*Anchor Fish | *Anchor Fish | ||
*Kid Fish | *Kid Fish | ||
− | |||
==Dialogue== | ==Dialogue== | ||
(inside his pineapple house, SpongeBob is lying in bed snoring. His foghorn alarm sounds and he wakes up immediately. He inhales deeply, then sighs and opens his window curtains) | (inside his pineapple house, SpongeBob is lying in bed snoring. His foghorn alarm sounds and he wakes up immediately. He inhales deeply, then sighs and opens his window curtains) | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': Good morning, day! (begins to walk, but accidentally steps on the top of his big toe) Ow! (falls over, but gets back up with his toe sore) I stubbed my toe. (cries profusely like a fountain, leaving a puddle surrounding him) I was walking around... and I stubbed my toe! (wipe to later on. Walks into his closet and searches though a long line of identical square pants while humming. Picks one, but the wire hanger breaks through the side) Oh, that was my favorite shirt | + | '''SpongeBob''': Good morning, day! (begins to walk, but accidentally steps on the top of his big toe) Ow! (falls over, but gets back up with his toe sore) I stubbed my toe. (cries profusely like a fountain, leaving a puddle surrounding him) I was walking around... and I stubbed my toe! (wipe to later on. Walks into his closet and searches though a long line of identical square pants while humming. Picks one, but the wire hanger breaks through the side) Oh, that was my favorite shirt. (cries. Wipe to later on. He appears at his breakfast table eating cereal while listening to the radio) |
'''Radio DJ''': And that was "Aja" by Eely Dan. Next up is Lionel Fishy with his hit, "Sad Song." (the sad song begins to play. SpongeBob begins to cry) | '''Radio DJ''': And that was "Aja" by Eely Dan. Next up is Lionel Fishy with his hit, "Sad Song." (the sad song begins to play. SpongeBob begins to cry) | ||
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'''Squidward''': (inside his house, wearing a robe and towel, while holding a cup of tea and a croissant) That SpongeBob is such a crybaby. And lucky me, I get to work with him all day. (takes a bite out of his croissant while SpongeBob continues to cry from inside his house. Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties while singing) | '''Squidward''': (inside his house, wearing a robe and towel, while holding a cup of tea and a croissant) That SpongeBob is such a crybaby. And lucky me, I get to work with him all day. (takes a bite out of his croissant while SpongeBob continues to cry from inside his house. Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties while singing) | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': (enters abruptly, startling SpongeBob who flips the patty into the air) SpongeBob, guess what? (the patty | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': (enters abruptly, startling SpongeBob who flips the patty into the air) SpongeBob, guess what? (the patty lands on the ground. It has yellow slime on the floor) Yeah, I'll come back later. (goes back into his office. SpongeBob sadly picks the patty up by his spatula and carries it to the trash bin) |
'''SpongeBob''': He was a good little Krabby Patty. I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I-- (opens the trash lid and begins crying) --I came to love him! (the patty slowly slides off his spatula and into the trash bin) IT JUST ISN'T FAIR! (cries even louder, soaking and enraging Squidward from the counter window) | '''SpongeBob''': He was a good little Krabby Patty. I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I-- (opens the trash lid and begins crying) --I came to love him! (the patty slowly slides off his spatula and into the trash bin) IT JUST ISN'T FAIR! (cries even louder, soaking and enraging Squidward from the counter window) | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': (crying) But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and then he-- | '''SpongeBob''': (crying) But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and then he-- | ||
− | '''Squidward''': Krabby Patty nothing! (SpongeBob tries to speak, but Squidward interrupts again by shouting even louder) '''''KRABBY PATTY NOTHING!!!!!''''' (pants, then SpongeBob whimpers with | + | '''Squidward''': Krabby Patty nothing! (SpongeBob tries to speak, but Squidward interrupts again by shouting even louder) '''''KRABBY PATTY NOTHING!!!!!''''' (pants, then SpongeBob whimpers with tears) What now? |
− | '''SpongeBob''': (stifled) You yelled at me, you yelled at me! (sobs loudly, continuing to soak Squidward with | + | '''SpongeBob''': (stifled) You yelled at me, you yelled at me! (sobs loudly, continuing to soak Squidward with tears. Bubble-wipe to later in the day) |
'''Squidward''': You know there is an old saying, SpongeBob. | '''Squidward''': You know there is an old saying, SpongeBob. | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': (stops sobbing) What is it? | '''SpongeBob''': (stops sobbing) What is it? | ||
− | '''Squidward''': Don't cry over a Krabby Patty | + | '''Squidward''': Don't cry over a soiled Krabby Patty. And now may I give you a little word of advice: SHUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUP! (leaves. SpongeBob sobs loudly again. Bubble-wipe to outside the kitchen. Stands before SpongeBob next to a chalkboard with "43" written on it) All right, look. So far today, and it's not even two o'clock yet, you have cried 43 times! |
'''SpongeBob''': And you wrote that number on a chalkboard. | '''SpongeBob''': And you wrote that number on a chalkboard. | ||
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'''Squidward''': It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the HUNDREDS OF TEARS YOU HAVE CRIED OVER THE YEARS! (the video begins to play, showing SpongeBob crying behind the grill, at the grocery store, outside Mrs. Puff's Boating School, at Jellyfish Fields, in the bathroom, and at the bus stop) | '''Squidward''': It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the HUNDREDS OF TEARS YOU HAVE CRIED OVER THE YEARS! (the video begins to play, showing SpongeBob crying behind the grill, at the grocery store, outside Mrs. Puff's Boating School, at Jellyfish Fields, in the bathroom, and at the bus stop) | ||
− | '''SpongeBob''': (in the video) Boo-hoo-hoo! Sob. Whimper. | + | '''SpongeBob''': (in the video) Boo-hoo-hoo! Sob. Whimper. |
− | '''French Narrator''': | + | '''French Narrator''': Thousands of tears later... (SpongeBob continues to watch himself crying in the video) |
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore. | '''SpongeBob''': Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore. | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': That sounds like a very sad story. | '''SpongeBob''': That sounds like a very sad story. | ||
− | '''Squidward''': Oh, very sad. Umm... "There once was a little angler..." (the page he's reading is actually of the story "Jack and Jill") "...who was, uh, little and sad." (SpongeBob whimpers) "One day the little sad angler was walking through the park." (SpongeBob begins to chuckle with joy) "But, he was sad, because...because he was lost... he was lost and very sad. And then, he--he started to cry." (SpongeBob begins to choke up) "He cried and he cried. And he cried even more." (SpongeBob shakes with sadness) "And he kept crying." (SpongeBob strains and forces back | + | '''Squidward''': Oh, very sad. Umm... "There once was a little angler..." (the page he's reading is actually of the story "Jack and Jill") "...who was, uh, little and sad." (SpongeBob whimpers) "One day the little sad angler was walking through the park." (SpongeBob begins to chuckle with joy) "But, he was sad, because...because he was lost... he was lost and very sad. And then, he--he started to cry." (SpongeBob begins to choke up) "He cried and he cried. And he cried even more." (SpongeBob shakes with sadness) "And he kept crying." (SpongeBob strains and forces back tears) "Crying and crying and crying and..." That's right. You can do it. |
'''SpongeBob''': I'm wondering if it might not be so healthy to hold in all my tears, Squidward. | '''SpongeBob''': I'm wondering if it might not be so healthy to hold in all my tears, Squidward. | ||
− | '''Squidward''': You're exactly right, SpongeBob. Let it all out. Don't fight the feel-- (the second hand on the clock ticks closer to midnight) Ten, nine...do it, do it, cry... | + | '''Squidward''': You're exactly right, SpongeBob. Let it all out. Don't fight the feel-- (the second hand on the clock ticks closer to midnight) Ten, nine...do it, do it, cry...eight, seven, six, five...come on! (the dam inside SpongeBob's brain begins to crack) ...four, three, two, one! (the dam breaks. The cuckoo scallop chirps midnight) Midnight! (sighs. SpongeBob's body is bloated) Well, SpongeBob, it looks like you won the... (SpongeBob's eyes burst with tears, shooting a flood towards Squidward and smacking him against the wall. The tears shoot out the windows, door crack, chimney, and other holes in his house. They spread to Patrick's house, causing an entire waterfall inside) |
'''Patrick''': Wow, what a great show. (the tears flood the Krusty Krab) | '''Patrick''': Wow, what a great show. (the tears flood the Krusty Krab) | ||
− | '''Mr. Krabs''': (standing on his desk, holding a fat stack of money away from the tears) Well, at least we're still together, little ones. (the Bikini Bottom Choir drives through the flood holding the angelic note. At SpongeBob's house, the | + | '''Mr. Krabs''': (standing on his desk, holding a fat stack of money away from the tears) Well, at least we're still together, little ones. (the Bikini Bottom Choir drives through the flood holding the angelic note. At SpongeBob's house, the tears continue to spray into Squidward's face, then stop. The cuckoo scallop hit him on the head. Bubble-wipe to sometime later. SpongeBob and Squidward now sit in front of the TV) |
'''SpongeBob''': (holding out a bowl of popcorn) More popcorn, Squidward? | '''SpongeBob''': (holding out a bowl of popcorn) More popcorn, Squidward? |