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Ghost Host Karate Island

Episode Article: Whale of a Birthday

Characters

Dialogue

(opens up with Pearl sleeping until the radio wakes her up)
Radio: Good morning, Bikini Bottom! It's a very special day today because we have got the new single from Boys Who Cry: "It's All About You."

Song: Boys Who Cry "It's all about you" It's All About You

It's all about you girl,
On your sixteenth birthday!
Pay attention to you girl,
Everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight,
Cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl!
You're the birthday girl!


Pearl

Yeah! It's all about me
On my 16th birthday
I want music, clothes, and shiny things
So give it up right away
Everybody in the whole wide world
They have to pay attention to me
It's all about me, me...and guess who? Me!

Mr. Krabs: (Pearl crashes through the ceiling and into the kitchen on the ground floor) Neptune's trousers!

Pearl: Morning, daddy!

Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a room on the ground floor?

Pearl: Oh, daddy. I'm just excited because tomorrow's a very special day.

Mr. Krabs: (gulps) It is? (Pearl stares at him) Oh, I mean it is! Very special. Very very special, indeed.

Pearl: You have no idea what day tomorrow is, do you?

Mr. Krabs: None at all.

Pearl: It's my 16th birthday!

Mr. Krabs: I knew that. How could you think I wouldn't know that? What are you gonna be, 12?

Pearl: I'm going to be 16! It's only the most important birthday in my entire life. If I don't have a completely awesome party, my whole high school reputation will collapse. I'll have to drop out; I won't go off to college; I'll never leave home. You'll have to support me for the rest of my life.

Mr. Krabs: (nervously chuckles) Well, we don't want that to happen?

Pearl: Then promise me you'll give me a real party this year. And don't be cheap! (nods)

(later at the high school, Pearl is with some of her friends, including Breezie from the Sonic the Hedgehog series)

Pearl: Hi, girls.

Clara: Hi, Pearl.

Pearl: Are you guys coming to my totally coral birthday party tomorrow?

Breezie: I don't know, Pearl. Is this going to be as totally coral as last year, when your dad passed out paper clips as party favors? (3 girls and Pearl laugh)

Judy: Remember the time we all had to share one balloon? (balloon floats up) Please.

Tara: Remember the pony ride? (wooden horse with a paint can as a head and a broom stick as a tail)

Clara: I can't wait to see how he ruins this year. (Pearl and 3 girls laugh as Pearl runs out of school smiling. She heads toward the Krusty Krab)

Pearl: Daddy!

Mr. Krabs: Everybody brace for impact!

Pearl: Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.

Mr. Krabs: Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set.

Pearl: Why, I've already got the party favors! (shows Hershey's Kisses)

Mr. Krabs + Pearl: This year's gonna be a blast! (hugs)

Pearl: Daddy, you ruined all my birthday parties! But you better not ruin this one! Now promise me you won't be cheap.

Mr. Krabs: I promise.

Pearl: Good, because I made a list. (list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr. Krabs rolls it up) Now I want everything on this list at my party. (kisses her dad) Bye. I'll be at the mall with my friends.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?!

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: While I plan the party, I want you to buy Pearl's present. (takes out his credit card) Here you go, boy.

SpongeBob: What's this, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: It's me credit card. You use it instead of money.

SpongeBob: I can buy stuff with just this piece of plastic? I don't need money?

Mr. Krabs: Exactly.

SpongeBob: Wow.

Mr. Krabs: Now remember, nothing's too good for me little Pearl. I wanted to give her nothing, but she's too good for that. Now, follow her around and see what she likes. You know, do some detective work.

SpongeBob: Detective work--I'm going undercover.

(Pearl pokes her head out from round the door's corner. She somehow overheard the entire conversation.)

Pearl: Come on, kiddo. We're going to the mall!

(later at the Bikini Bottom Mall, Pearl and her friends - including Amy Rose, Sally Acorn, Mina the Mongoose, Breezie, Sera, and Sonic himself. SpongeBob's with them, too.)

Pearl: So, that's when Marcie told me that Julie said that Angela did like Brad.

Clara: Oh, I thought she was mad at him; I thought she hated him.

SpongeBob: Me too.

Pearl: Did you honestly listen to my entire story?

(SpongeBob shrugs and shakes his head.)

Pearl: (holding up a purple, plastic comb) Oh my gosh, this is the greatest thing I have seen in the whole world.

Mina: It's just a comb, Pearl. I know when things are great as soon as I see them, and I know for sure that's not.

SpongeBob: (runs up to the cashier) I'd like to buy that piece of plastic with this piece of plastic. (giggles)

Cashier: (looking at the credit card) Mr. Krabs, huh? Quick--how do you spell "Krabs"?

SpongeBob: Umm...I'm pretty sure it has a 'B' in it.

Cashier: Close enough.

Pearl: (walking over to the cashier) K-R-A-B-S. There. I did it for you, SpongeBoob.

Cashier: (swipes the credit card through the machine) There you go, kid.

SpongeBob: That's it? Hmmm, I'll never understand the workings of high finance.

Pearl: (holding up lip gloss) Wow, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in the whole world. Glitter gloss!

Tina: Are you sure?

SpongeBob: Oh, no, I bought the wrong present.

Judy: Pearl, you have got to see this. It's a coral bracelet.

Pearl: Coming, Judy.

Mary: Oh...hmmm... (mirror flips around revealing SpongeBob. He takes the glitter gloss away from Mary and the mirror flips back around)

SpongeBob: Now this is obviously the greatest present ever.

Pearl: (squeals) This is the greatest thing in the whole world! A necklace!

Sally: It's not!!! (SpongeBob sighs)

(back at the Krusty Krab where Squidward is nailing down a banner)

Squidward: The banner's up, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: I've had that since the day she was born. I got it on sale.

Squidward: I'm sure she'll love it, Mr. Krabs.

(back at the mall)

Pearl: This sea pony is the cutest thing ever. Do you want to come home and be my pony? (pony imagines Pearl being on its back) Whee! (pony shakes its head)

Mina: Pearl, come here. This is so coral. It's nail polish! (SpongeBob is disguised as a Dog Fish next to the pony, but Sonic takes him out of the disguise)

Pearl: Oh my gosh, it's Shadow the Hedgehog.

All: Hi, Shadow!

Shadow: Hmph. You again. (all the girls sighing. Amy sighs after they do and Sonic just stares on with a "what the *dolphin noise* is going on right now" look on his face)

Amy: Isn't he dreamy?

(Meanwhile, SpongeBob takes Billy Fishkin and hands him to the cashier.)

Cashier: Price check on four.

Billy: Okay, wait, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

(back at the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: I finished Pearl's portrait, Mr. Krabs. It's a true masterpiece. (reveals an ice sculpture of Pearl) It takes true genius to transform 400 pounds of ice into a work of such majesty.

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Well, Pearl's birthday... Now how about the entertainment shows? We ran out of those ones where you put on 3D glasses and shrink, and then it'd be very big.

Squidward: We have 2 of those left. I remember "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience," (laughs) We still have that one. It's a great one.

Mr. Krabs: I stole it from Epcot. That's why they're playing the Michael Jackson show now!

Squidward: Isn't a Pixar show now? Because Michael Jackson can't be trusted around little boys...

Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah, that's right. Then Boys Who Cry...

Squidward: Boys Who Cry? They're the worst band of all time. They charge a million dollars just to show up. And if you want them to lip-sing, it'll run into real money.

Mr. Krabs: How the Davy do you know that? Anyway, where’s the shrinking show? And the lip gloss?

Squidward: When I was booking the Clamshell Orchestra to play at Bikini Bottom Community College. Just to make Pearl happy, waste all your money. Let the Boys Who Cry sing all their songs.

Mr. Krabs: All their songs?

(back at the mall where Pearl and friends are gazing at a bunch of things and SpongeBob buys them all, including: a dress, sunglasses, a pair of platform shoes, and other gifts)

Pearl: Wouldn't it be cool if my dad got me this for my birthday?

Sonic: It sure would be. If he was cool, which he's not. (laughs)

Pearl: Yeah, he probably got me another box of staples.

(back at the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: It's almost time for the party to start!

SpongeBob: I'm back, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what took you so long? And where's Pearl's presents?

SpongeBob: The delivery truck will be here momentarily.

Squidward: Here she comes, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Everybody get into position. (Pearl and friends, including a sullen Shadow, enter)

All: Happy birthday! (everyone is standing in front of the banner that reads 'IT'S A GIRL')

Judy: "It's a girl!" (Pearl and 3 friends laugh)

Pearl: Daddy! You changed the banner! (friends walk over to the popcorn machine and eat up the popcorn)

Mina: It's NOT stale popcorn. (friends walk over to the punchbowl and drink) It's grape punch!

Squidward: It is grape punch. Ha ha ha... (friends drink the punch)

Pearl: (notices the sculpture) Is that supposed to be me? (The ice sculpture has a steel head that does not fall off) It's made out of ice! Whoo Hoo!

SpongeBob: On the sculpture, it is ice! Because who all wants some cake?

Pearl: Well, the cake does look good. (all eat the cake) It's chocolate! Yum!

Mr. Krabs: And frosting.

Breezie: (licks thumb) Strawberry flavored.

Angela: Well, Pearl, 15 lame parties in a row. But this one is great.

Sally: (notices drink stand) No root beer, but...

Pearl: Wait, there's more. My dad got Boys Who Cry to play. You did get Boys Who Cry, right?

Mr. Krabs: Oh yes I did, sweetie. Hit it. (Music plays)

Boys Who Cry: Hello, ladies. (shrinks and sings and dances on Pearl’s lip)

It's all about you girl,

On your sixteenth birthday!

Pay attention to you girl,

Everyone has to do just what you say.

You get your very own spotlight tonight,

Cuz it's all about you!

Yeah, it's all about Pearl!

You're the birthday girl!

Huh! (grows back, hops off, and dances)

Tara: Oh my Gosh! He got Boys Who Cry.

Judy: Yeah!

Tara: Yeah!

Sonic: Way past cool!

Judy: This is great!

Pearl: Daddy, how did this happen? I gave you a list and you made it better. (dances smiling)

Mr. Krabs: Pearl, what's outside? (crowd dances at Boys Who Cry)

Pearl: You did everything! You stopped being cheap, just for me. Oh, the presents. That's what's outside. (laughs)

Mr. Krabs: I'll make it even cooler, Pearl. (to the audience) Okay, the shrinking show! Put on your Safety Goggles!

Pearl + friends: (sees dog on screen) AAAAAAAAHHHH!

Amy: Eww… it sneezed on me!

Angela: Eww… it’s spitting on me!

Judy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! That snake!

Clara: Mice! No!

Sonic: AAAH! It got lifted up!

Tina: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK! The whole entire Krusty Krab got lifted up by that dumb boy!

Mr. Krabs: Well, time for the presents!

SpongeBob: That's it. Back it up. Right there. Let 'er go! (dump truck full of presents unloads them all)

Pearl: You bought me a Boys Who Cry CD?

Mr. Krabs: I did? I mean...I did?

Friends: Wow.

Pearl: Oh, daddy, I don't know how it could get better than this.

SpongeBob + Pearl: Hit it boys!

Endsong: Boys Who Cry "It's All About You"


Boys Who Cry: It's all about you girl,
On your sixteenth birthday!
Pay attention to you girl,
Everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight,
Cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl! (Amy + Sally + Mina: Pearl!)
You're the birthday girl!

Mr. Krabs: Boy, how much is all this 500 dollars costing me?

SpongeBob: Here's the receipt.

Mr. Krabs: (freaks out) Billy...

SpongeBob: Oh, you got me everything Pearl wanted. (kisses Pearl)

Pearl: Oh, you got me everything I wanted. Ah, nothing's too good for my daddy. (SpongeBob and her dances & laughs so hard)

SpongeBob: You're a good whale, Pearl.

Pearl: Get your luck, boy.

Shadow: I kinda like you, Pearl. (Pearl's face flushes as she gasps.)

SpongeBob: There, that's better!

Pearl: Yeah!

(episode ends as SpongeBob, Pearl, and Shadow dance)

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