Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 1

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Contents

Dialogue

Chapter 1:Opening (Real film sequence)

Pirate #1: (He is in a small boat with a trunk) I got it! I got it! I got it!

Pirate #2: Dinghy ahoy.

Pirate #3: Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow. Captain, dinghy off the... (He is slammed in the face by a door as the captain walks on deck)

Captain: Dinghy. (Lets Pirate #1 onto the ship, along with the trunk)

Pirate #1: I got it! I got it.

Captain: Where is it?

Pirate #2: It's right here, captain. (Opens the trunk)

Captain: I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie! (The pirates cheer and they sail to the movie theater, singing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song)

Pirates: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?
SpongeBob SquarePants
If nautical nonsense be something you wish?
SpongeBob SquarePants
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish?
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePa-nts! (The pirates hog the snack bar and get some popcorn. They rush into
the theater room, where the movie starts)

Chapter 2:SpongeBob's dream

French Narrator: The sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery - the Krusty Krab restaurant, where...

(The camera pans down into Bikini Bottom in front of the Krusty Krab)

Police: Back off! Back off! (waves arms to back off at reporters/citizens)

Fish #1: Hey, wait a minute.

Fish #2: What is happening?

Mr. Krabs: Please settle down. (Referring to the Krusty Krab) We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss till me manager gets here.

Fish: Look, there he is. (A limousine drives up, SpongeBob climbs out of the limousine. He walks toward the Krusty Krab.)

Spongebob: Talk to me, Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: It started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no cheese! (he cries, but SpongeBob slaps him)

SpongeBob: Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm going in. (goes into the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be just fine.

Phil: I'm really scared here, man.

SpongeBob: You got a name?

Phil: Phil.

SpongeBob: You got a family, Phil? (Phil begins to cry) Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.

Phil: I got a wife and two beautiful children.

SpongeBob: That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil.

Phil: What?

SpongeBob: Say cheese. (SpongeBob carefully lifts the bun and Dramatically puts some cheese under. He then comes out of the Krusty Krab with Phil in his arms) Order up.

All(But SpongeBob): Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip!(Honk!) Hip! Hip!(Honk!) Hip! Hip! (Honk!!!!)

Chapter 3:Awakened from the Job as Manager

(Continues from dream) SpongeBob: Gary, I had that dream again. And it's finally gonna come true. Today. Sorry about this, calendar. (Rips calendar page off, reviling the KK2 page.) Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2 where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob:Who's it gonna be, Gary? Well, let's ask my wall of consecutive employee-of-the-month awards. (Camera pulls up, revealing many "employee of the month" portraits)

SpongeBob E.O.T.M Awards: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Chapter 3.2 Ready for the speech

SpongeBob: I'm ready. Promotion. (Goes into walk-in shower, Eats soap, Inserts a hose in his head, Puffs up until soap comes out, SpongeBob pulls out paper-like fabric, folds into his pants, back springs off, reviling his rear, brushes eyes with toothpaste, wipes off foam) Cleanliness is next to manager-liness. (Goes outside and runs around in circles) I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.

(Setting:Bathroom) Squidward: La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da dee, la da doo, la da dum,

Squidward and SpongeBob in unision: La da dee, la da doo, la da dum,La da d...

Squidward: Huh?

SpongeBob singing solo:...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...

(Squidward interrupts him, and covers himself) Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing in here?

SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward.

Squidward: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?

SpongeBob: There's no shower at work.

Squidward: What do you want?

SpongeBob: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.

Chapter 3.3:SpongeBob's encounter with Patrick

Squidward: Get out!! (Throws him out the window)

SpongeBob: Okay. see you at the ceremony. (Runs into Patrick, who comes out of his rock)

Patrick: That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2.(Realizes that he doesn't have his trunks on.) Oops. Hold on.(Rock closes, with Patrick on it. Then it opens again.) Congratulations, buddy.

SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple.

Patrick: I love being purple!

SpongeBob: We're going to the place where all the action is.

Patrick: You don't mean...?

SpongeBob: Oh, I mean.

In unision:Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat!

(Rock closes up on them, and opens up a few seconds later. They now have Goofy Goober hats, and a record begins playing on a record player beside Patrick) (SpongeBob and Patrick sings)

Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah.
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah.
We're all  Goofy Goobers, yeah.
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!
           

SpongeBob: (Notices his watch) I'd better get going. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.

Patrick: Good luck, SpongeBob. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. (Bounces away)

Chapter 4:KK2 news report/Plankton's rage

(The scene cuts to a large crowd gathered in front of the Krusty Krab. Perch Perkins is on TV, reporting)

Perch Perkins: Hello, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, coming to you live from in front of The Krusty Krab restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering Krabby Patty. Until today, that is. That's right, folks. Longtime owner Mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant called The Krusty Krab 2. First of all, congratulations, Mr. Krabs. (Krabs has a big grin on his face)

King Xerxes: Hello. I love to eat buffalo burritos, turtle turnovers and yak yogurt.

Mr. Krabs: Hello. I like money.

Perch Perkins: What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original?

Mr. Krabs: Money. (Everyone laughs)

(Plankton is watching the entire scenario out the window of the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: Curses! It's not fair. Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one customer!(the word "customer" is heard echoing in the kitchen)

Karen: Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.

Plankton: Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y.

Karen: A to Y?

Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.

Karen: What about Z?

Plankton: Z?

Karen: Z. The letter after Y.

Plankton: (Searches through cabinet) W, X, Y, Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.

Karen: Oh, boy.

Esther: Hi!

Plankton:(Suggestively) Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. (Sniffs it) It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail! (Goes outside) So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank...! (SpongeBob runs by and accidentally steps on him)

Chapter 5:Spongebob's encounter with plankton

SpongeBob: I'm ready,promotion... I'm ready,promotion...

Plankton:(While being stepped on by SpongeBob)Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

SpongeBob:Ew, I think I stepped in something.

(Tries to scrape Plankton off)

Plankton: Not in something, on someone, you twit!

SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. (Pulls him off his shoe) Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony?

Plankton: No, I am not on my way over to the grand-opening ceremony. I'm busy planning to rule the world!

SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. (Runs off) I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.

Plankton: Stupid kid.

Chapter 6:Squid's new job

(Later, Mr. Krabs is at a stand in front of the Krusty Krab 2. The crowd is still gathered there, seated)

Mr. Krabs: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Krusty Krab 2.

Mrs. Puff: We paid $9 for this?

Sandy: I paid $10!

Mr. Krabs: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cutting, I'd like to announce the name of our new manager.

SpongeBob: Yay! Yeah! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah!

Mr. Krabs: Yes. Well, anyway... The new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee.

SpongeBob (Thinking): Yes.

Mr. Krabs: The obvious choice for the job.

SpongeBob (Thinking) : He's right.

Mr. Krabs: A name you all know. It starts with an S.

SpongeBob( Thinking) : That's me.

Mr. Krabs: Please welcome our new manager...Squidward Tentacles.

SpongeBob: Yes! Yeah! (Shaking Squidward's hand) Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Yeah! All right! (Grabs the microphone) People of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of...

Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. (Mr. Krabs whispers into his ear. He tells him that he's making a complete jackass of himself) I'm making a complete what of myself? (Mr. Krabs whispers "It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen") The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? (Mr. Krabs whispers " It's getting worse because you're repeating everything I say into the microphone") And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?

Chapter 7:The sad truth

Mr. Krabs: Oh, for crying out loud, SpongeBob! You didn't get the job!

SpongeBob: What?

Mr. Krabs: You... did not... get... the job.

SpongeBob: But... But why?

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Squidward because being manager is a big responsibility. Well, let's face it, he's more... mature than you.

SpongeBob: I'm not... mature?

Mr. Krabs: Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see...

Fish: Dork?

Mr. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.

Pearl: A goofball?

Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no.

Fish: A ding-a-ling.

Fish: Wing nut.

Old Female Fish: A Knucklehead Mcspazatron.

Mr. Krabs: OK, that's enough! Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it "kid-ager. " You understand-ager? I mean, you understand?

SpongeBob: I guess so, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

(SpongeBob walks away)

SpongeBob (depressed): I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression.

Mr. Krabs: Poor kid.

Chapter 8:Patrick's interruption

(Patrick suddenly appears flying on a banner naked with a GO SPONGEBOB flag in his butt.)

Patrick: Hooray for SpongeBob! Hooray for SpongeBob! Let's hear it for SpongeBob!

(Patrick accidentally hits the stage which sets on fire. Everyone except for Patrick runs away.)

Patrick: Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?

French Narrator: Later that evening...

Chapter 9:Theft of the crown

(Later that evening, Plankton is traveling through the sky on his jetpack. He stops in front of a giant castle)

Plankton: Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of King Neptune.

(Neptune is sitting in his throne by his daughter Mindy, who is sitting in another throne. Neptune hits the squire on the head with his trident)

Squire: Oh, right. The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward. (Guards do so. Neptune then asks the prisoner a question)

Neptune: So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown?

Prisoner: Yes, but...

Neptune: But what?

Prisoner: But it's my job, Your Highness. I'm the royal crown polisher.

Neptune: Well, then I guess I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is.

Mindy: Daddy! (Frees the crown polisher) You're free to go.

Crown Polisher: Bless you, Princess Mindy. (Walks away)

Neptune: Mindy, how dare you defy me?

Mindy: Why do you have to be so mean?

Neptune: I am the king. I must enforce the laws of the sea.

Mindy: Father, I wish you'd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments.

Presenter: That would be nice. (Neptune then bonks him on the head)

Neptune: Squire, clear the room. I wish to speak to my daughter alone (Everyone except Neptune and Mindy high tail it. Neptune then shows Mindy his crown). What is this, Mindy?

Mindy: Your crown?

Neptune: And what does this crown do?

Mindy: Covers your bald spot.

Neptune: It's not bald, it's... thinning. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding hairline. No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. One day, you will wear this crown.

Mindy: I'm gonna be bald?!

Neptune: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn how to rule with an iron fist. Like your father. (He puts what he thinks is his crown on. It is not a crown. It is the cushion that the crown was on)

Mindy: Dad, your "crown"...

Neptune: What the...? (Discovers that his crown is missing) My crown! Someone has stolen the royal crown!

Plankton: (We see him leaving the castle with the crown) I got it. I got it. (He flies past Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat, which we get a view of inside. The bar is filled with children eating ice cream. Suddenly, a Goofy Goober Clock speaks)

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Characters: David HasselhoffDennis (eliminator)CyclopsGoofy GooberKarenKing NeptuneMr. KrabsPatrick StarMindySheldon J. PlanktonSpongeBob SquarePantsGas Station AttendantsCar Stealer
Locations: Krusty Krab 2Shell CityGoofy Goober's Ice Cream Party BoatThug Tug
Songs: Now That We're MenGoofy Goober RockThe Best Day EverThe Goofy Goober SongUnder My Rock

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