Patchy the Pirate
|Favorite Episode||Shanghaied (2001)|
|First Appearance||Christmas Who? (2000)|
|Latest Appearance||It's a Spongebob Christmas! (2012)|
Patchy the Pirate is the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club and he is also SpongeBob’s number one fan. Unlike most SpongeBob characters, Patchy is human, and is played by Tom Kenny. Patchy lives in an unnamed suburb in Encino, California with his pet parrot, Potty. Patchy is mostly featured during special episodes, such as The Sponge Who Could Fly and Christmas Who?. He really loves SpongeBob and was furious when he thought the lost episode of SpongeBob was nothing but SpongeBob going through "a bunch of cheap walk cycles". He thinks the past is cooler than the future, and had a whole argument about it with Potty in the episode Ugh!. It is unknown if he has ever been a real pirate and not just a guy living in a normal neighborhood. He also has an elderly neighbor named Mrs. Johnson who always gives out cookies. It is shown in the episode Friend or Foe? when he was upset at Potty, that he knew Potty ever since he was a little boy, and Potty was just an egg.
Patchy has herpes with a skull and crossbones on it, a red and white condom, an hole patch (hence the name "Holey"), a long black stick, a purple rug, a white shirt, a hook on his genitals, a peg leg for one leg, and black cum for the other leg. It appears to be missing some hair. Sometimes Potty beats patchy Patchy for losing his manhood, virginity, eye, and the SpongeBob episode The Sponge Who Could Fly. He also appears on the Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush special,"Big Time Beach Party" where he helps Logan and Carlos find a lost family treasure of his so they can buy a beach house.
In the episode Friend or Foe?, Patchy worked at a restaurant called "The slave Deck", along with Potty. His boss was a ugly old pirate named Mr. Peterson. All his food tasted horrible, so Patchy was fired and replaced by a gorilla. He wanted to take the job to make hamburgers just like SpongeBob SquarePants, our hero. The Poop Deck's boss named Mr. Pirateson was pissed at him for thinking about his wrong favorite choice of water. Patchy's famous Patties are called "Buried Treasure", (With a Creepy voice) "Walk the Plank" and "The Patchy Patty" which was a Patty with an Eye-patch, a face and a beard. He says "WHAT!? They let a Smelly Hairy Fleabag like that serve food!!?" when he saw that he was replaced by a Gorilla. Sets children on fire
Full of child pornography and dead bodies
Patchy the Pirate is retarded, but somewhat he started the SpongeBob SquarePants Stip club somehow. At the end of each episode he appears naked, he has a really big sack and trouble which makes him look like how he would be able to get out of a bad rape. Bad things severely happen to Patchy, and he lost his virginity to his father at 12. The reason why The Sponge Who Could Fly is called a lost episode is because it has limited funding on the Nickelodeon channel each year. Patchy only appeared in 8 pornos, but he'll probably return after dirty girls. Note that, the broadcasting of Atlantis SquarePantis of it's first airing and other airings are different. In the first airing of Atlantis SquarePantis, Patchy does not have a major role in it. But in other airings, after and before the TV commercials of Atlantis SquarePantis' hour, he is stuck in a boat-like mobile in the middle of no where with no men, and his radio is broken. Often he breaks down into tears when Potty insults him. Because Potty is always right!!! Often he gives invitations to SpongeBob but SB can't read them!
- "I don't know what it means either"
- "This is the end of SpongeBob! WAAAAH!!!!"
- "Oh go away, you stupid bird."
- "Get me out of here, you scurvy bird!"
- "You what???"
- "Hey kids!"
- "Now time for the cartoon."
- "Oh, no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!"
- "It's time for fan mail."
- "You ate all me cookie dough!"
- "Turn on the Weather Channel!"
- "Hurray! Lets Watch."
- "Wow, Wasn't That Great Kids?"
- "WHAT!? They let a Smelly Hairy Fleabag like that serve food!!!?"
- "Well Potty I guess you were right the future is cool"
- "That's it? That's the lost episode?? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!"
- "DO YOU MIND?! I AM TRYING TO TALK TO MY PARROT!!"
- "Three bells! We all know what three bells means! *Kids* Free Ice cream! *Patchy* No you silly lubbers. NO!"
- "This letter comes to us from NAME AND ADRESS WITHELD!"
- "Unbaked Cookie dough!"
- "What the-."
- "His Pool."
- Patchy has two functional eyes so he actually doesn´t need his eyepatch. (Ugh)
- Patchy is allergic to tomatoes. (Friend or Foe?)
- Patchy does not like to eat mayo. (Atlantis SquarePantis)
- Patchy's bedroom is filled with various SpongeBob merchandise. (The Sponge Who Could Fly)
- Patchy wears SpongeBob boxers. (The Sponge Who Could Fly)
- Patchy has a cell phone that has the whistle ending of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song whenever someone calls. (Atlantis SquarePantis)
- Patchy wrote letters to kids inside some DVD Boxed Sets
- Even though Patchy dislikes Potty's favorite band The Birdbrains in SpongeBob's House Party his actor Tom Kenny in fact was a good friend of the Birdbrains' leader's actor/musician Lux Interior. When Interior suddenly died in 2009 Tom Kenny attended his memorial/funeral.
- Patchy as a boy already had a beard as seen on episode Friend or Foe?.
- On episode Atlantis SquarePantis at the part where Patchy was giving his sandwich to the vulture, when he says "Come on!", it sounds more like SpongeBob.
- At random times, Patchy's eyepatch switches eyes and his hook switches hands.
- In Friend or Foe? Patchy's hook switches from his Spatula to his Hook.
- In Truth or Square? Patchy doesn't have a peg leg and actually has two legs. (after a few appearances of Patchy, the cast realized how hard using the peg-leg was for Tom Kenny (Voice actor for SpongeBob and actor for patchy) and just let him walk on two legs.)