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Episode Transcript: The Card
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Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you? | Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you? | ||
| − | SpongeBob: The new | + | SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey. |
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book. | Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book. | ||
| Line 37: | Line 37: | ||
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir. | Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir. | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to | + | SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do. |
| − | Quincy: I don't think they go directly to | + | Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.) |
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny. | SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny. | ||
| Line 45: | Line 45: | ||
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up? | Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up? | ||
| − | Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? | + | Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining) |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I | |
| − | + | have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. In the next scene, SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books) | |
| − | SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for | + | |
| − | have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! | + | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books | + | |
Patrick: One, two, three, four... | Patrick: One, two, three, four... | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of | + | SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards? |
| − | Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? | + | Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three... |
| − | SpongeBob: One pack of | + | SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards) |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
SpongeBob: All right! | SpongeBob: All right! | ||
| Line 74: | Line 66: | ||
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid. | Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid. | ||
| − | Patrick: | + | Patrick: 17... |
| − | SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! | + | SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever. |
| − | Comic book dealer: Ha | + | Comic book dealer: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54. |
| − | + | '''Announcer:''' ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way) | |
| − | + | '''Mermaid Man''': Buy more cards! | |
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence. | Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence. | ||
| Line 88: | Line 80: | ||
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one? | SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one? | ||
| − | Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as | + | Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky. |
| − | many packs as you can and hope you get lucky. | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And | + | SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54! |
| − | it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until | + | |
| − | there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card | + | |
| − | Patrick: | + | Patrick: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob? |
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number... | SpongeBob: No, it's just a number... | ||
| − | + | '''Announcer:''' ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy) | |
| − | + | '''Mermaid Man''': Buy more cards! | |
| − | SpongeBob: Number | + | SpongeBob: Number 54! That's the best card there is! |
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four) | Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four) | ||
| Line 111: | Line 100: | ||
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis. | Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis. | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable | + | SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card? |
| − | and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla | + | |
| − | bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card? | + | |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store) | |
| − | SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. | + | SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going! |
| − | forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going! | + | |
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy. | Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy. | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) | + | SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close. |
| − | Ha, that was close. | + | |
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly. | Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly. | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander | + | SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been... |
| − | aimlessly around like you've been... | + | |
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon) | Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon) | ||
| − | SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into | + | SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon? |
| − | Goo Lagoon? | + | |
| − | Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. | + | Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire) |
| − | Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire) | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: | + | SpongeBob: (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card. |
| − | Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. | + | Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere. |
| − | ( | + | |
| − | SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless | + | SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up! |
| − | Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in | + | Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it? |
| − | pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it? | + | |
SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession? | SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession? | ||
| − | Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? ( | + | Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug) |
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever. | SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever. | ||
| Line 164: | Line 142: | ||
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick. | SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick. | ||
| − | Patrick: Well, good. | + | Patrick: Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again. |
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith. | SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith. | ||
| Line 176: | Line 154: | ||
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it! | SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it! | ||
| − | Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with | + | Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it) |
| − | talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it) | + | |
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire! | SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire! | ||
| Line 187: | Line 164: | ||
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card) | Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card) | ||
| − | + | '''Mermaid Man''': ''More car.. dddd....'' | |
| − | Patrick: | + | Patrick: (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have. |
| − | + | '''Mermaid Man''': ''Zzzbbb... more cards...'' (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand) | |
| − | SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away | + | SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick) |
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong? | Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong? | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Now I'll never have | + | SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one! |
Patrick: Aw... sure you will. | Patrick: Aw... sure you will. | ||
| − | SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack | + | SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom. |
| − | there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom. | + | |
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards) | Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards) | ||
| − | Announcer: | + | '''Announcer:''' ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy) |
| − | + | '''Mermaid Man''': Buy more cards! | |
| − | SpongeBob: Number | + | SpongeBob: (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these? |
| − | Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was | + | Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em. |
SpongeBob: May I have one? | SpongeBob: May I have one? | ||
| Line 220: | Line 196: | ||
SpongeBob: Wow! | SpongeBob: Wow! | ||
| − | Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again. | + | Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again. |
| − | {{Transcripts/Season 6}} | + | {{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}} |
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]] | ||
Latest revision as of 04:44, 14 December 2022
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Krusty Krushers | Dear Vikings |
Episode Article: The Card
[edit] Characters
[edit] Dialogue
Quincy: Next! Oh, no...
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?
SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do.
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining)
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. In the next scene, SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books)
Patrick: One, two, three, four...
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards)
SpongeBob: All right!
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.
Patrick: 17...
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
Comic book dealer: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54.
Announcer: Mermaid Man says... (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54!
Patrick: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...
Announcer: Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: Number 54! That's the best card there is!
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store)
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)
SpongeBob: (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug)
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.
Patrick: Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
SpongeBob: Ew.
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)
Mermaid Man: More car.. dddd....
Patrick: (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
Mermaid Man: Zzzbbb... more cards... (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand)
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick)
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one!
Patrick: Aw... sure you will.
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)
Announcer: Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em.
SpongeBob: May I have one?
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Wow!
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again.
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