Episode Transcript: Squidtastic Voyage

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Wigstruck|Wigstruck]]
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Episode Article: [[Squidtastic Voyage]]
 
Episode Article: [[Squidtastic Voyage]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
 
*[[Gary]]
 
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
+
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
  
Narrator: Today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea. (music blasting from Spongebob's house) Gentle rhythm! Oh, nevermind.<br>
+
==Dialogue==
  
Gary: Meow. (hides in shell)<br>
+
'''Narrator''': Ah... today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea. (music blasting from SpongeBob’s house, so the narrator gets angry) Gentle rhythm! (in his normal voice) Oh, never mind.<br>
  
Spongebob: (moonwalking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean waves. (wiggles arms) Tropical waves.  
+
'''Gary''': Meow. (hides in shell)<br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob''': (moon walking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean wave. (wiggles arms) Tropical breeze.  
 
(wiggles more)<br>
 
(wiggles more)<br>
  
Patrick: Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)<br>
  
Spongebob: Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. Him and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over  
+
'''SpongeBob''': Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. Him and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over  
 
the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)<br>
 
the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)<br>
  
Squidward: Huh? (turns around) Grr! Spongebob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet.  
+
'''Squidward''': Huh? (turns around) Grr! SpongeBob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet. SpongeBob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get stuck in his throat)<br>
Spongebob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get  
+
 
stuck in his throat)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)<br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I’ll get it.<br>
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward''': (tries to get away from SpongeBob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)<br>
  
Squidward: Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It’s too dark! This calls for extreme measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face, pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!<br>
  
Spongebob: (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I’ll get it.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': It’s called a reed...eee!<br>
  
Squidward: (tries to get away from Spongebob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What’s a reed...eee?<br>
  
Spongebob: (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It’s too dark! This calls for extreme
+
'''Squidward''': Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it’s all your fault! (notes)<br>
measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as
+
they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face,
+
pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!<br>
+
  
Squidward: It’s called a reed...eee!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': There’s only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (scene cuts to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)<br>
  
Spongebob: What’s a reed...eee?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Hmm. Just as I thought. You’ve got that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. ''That'' was clumsy of you.<br>
  
Squidward: Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it’s all your
+
'''Squidward''': I didn’t. It was SpongeBob that... (note)<br>
fault! (notes)<br>
+
  
Spongebob: There’s only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (scene cuts to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Well, there’s nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)<br>
  
Sandy: Hmm. Just as I thought. You’ve got that pointy thing from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)<br>
clumsy of you.<br>
+
  
Squidward: I didn’t. It was Spongebob that... (note)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Now’s my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.<br>
  
Sandy: Well, there’s nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': A submarine? (note)<br>
  
Spongebob: Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': That’s right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I’ll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!<br>
  
Sandy: Now’s my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Why don’t you just shrink the reed?<br>
  
Squidward: A submarine? (note)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (bubble-wipe to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown on) We’re all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?<br>
  
Sandy: That’s right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This entire room is  
+
'''Squidward''': Are you sure this is safe?<br>
called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I’ll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then
+
navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!<br>
+
  
Squidward: Why don’t you just shrink the reed?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what’s that? (Squidward looks then Sandy knocks him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, partner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I’m gone. (SpongeBob smiles) Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?<br>
  
Sandy: (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (cut to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown
+
'''SpongeBob''': Can do, Sandy! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huppity-hup-hut!<br>
on) We’re all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?<br>
+
  
Squidward: Are you sure this is safe?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (walks up to SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.<br>
  
Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what’s that? (Squidward looks then Sandy knocks
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hello, citizen. <br>
him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, pardner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies
+
from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I’m gone. (Spongebob smiles) Do you think you can handle it,
+
Spongebob?<br>
+
  
Spongebob: Can do, Sandy! (cut to Spongebob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-
+
'''Patrick''': What are you doing?<br>
hut-hut, hut-hut-hut!<br>
+
  
Patrick: (walks up to Spongebob) Hi, Spongebob.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Guarding Sandy’s submarine.<br>
  
Spongebob: Hello, citizen.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Wow! I’ve never been in a submarine. Let’s look inside.<br>
  
Patrick: What are you doing?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Can’t. I’m guarding it.<br>
  
Spongebob: Guarding Sandy’s submarine.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Oh, man! Can't you guard it from the inside?<br>
  
Patrick: Wow! I’ve never been in a submarine. Let’s look inside.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (stops) You’re right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you’re a genius! (presses the 'OPEN' button to open the submarine)<br>
  
Spongebob: Can’t. I’m guarding it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': Ooh! (both salute)<br>
  
Patrick: Oh, man! Could you guard it from the inside?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both he and Patrick laugh and go inside. They push buttons and pretend to actually be using the submarine)<br>
  
Spongebob: (stops) You’re right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you’re a genius! (presses the 'OPEN' button to open the  
+
'''Patrick''': Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the flashing light)<br>
submarine)<br>
+
  
Spongebob and Patrick: Ooh! (both salute)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)<br>
  
Spongebob: Spongebob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both laugh and go inside. They push buttons and pretend to
+
'''Sandy''': I'm back, SpongeBob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (SpongeBob shrinks)<br>
actually be using the submarine)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. Spongebob and Patrick look at the  
+
'''Patrick''': (laughs) You’re so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant SpongeBob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine)<br>
flashing light)<br>
+
  
Spongebob and Patrick: Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Patrick! SpongeBob!<br>
  
Sandy: I'm back, Spongebob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (Spongebob shrinks)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Ahh, Sandy’s grown to gigantic size!<br>
  
Patrick: (laughs) You’re so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant Spongebob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the
+
'''SpongeBob''': I don’t think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.<br>
submarine)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Patrick! Spongebob!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Pfft, that’s silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose)<br>
  
Patrick: Ahh, Sandy’s grown to gigantic size!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.<br>
  
Spongebob: I don’t think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in ''here''? (holds head)<br>
  
Patrick: Pfft, that’s silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine
+
'''Sandy''': Well, why don’t you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing SpongeBob and Patrick in the submarine inside of Squidward)<br>
and sticks it in Squidward's nose)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (screams) SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and... (chuckles nervously then screams)<br>
  
Squidward: Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here? (holds head)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn’t be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)<br>
  
Sandy: Well, why don’t you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing Spongebob and Patrick in the submarine
+
'''SpongeBob''': Where are we, Patrick?<br>
inside of Squidward)<br>
+
  
Squidward: (screams) Spongebob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. Spongebob and Patrick...
+
'''Patrick''': I don’t know. But it’s a real dump.<br>
Spongebob and... (chuckles nervously thens creams)<br>
+
  
Sandy: You gotta calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn’t be moving around too much. You
+
'''Sandy''': (over speaker) SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?<br>
could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)<br>
+
  
Spongebob: Where are we, Patrick?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': It's Sandy.<br>
  
Patrick: I don’t know. But it’s a real dump.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': She’s in ''there''? (pulls out an axe) I’ll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)<br>
  
Sandy: (over speaker) Spongebob, Patrick, can you hear me?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot! (engine sputters and dies)<br>
  
Spongebob: It's Sandy.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, where ''are'' you? Where are ''we''?<br>
  
Patrick: She’s in there? (pulls out an axe) I’ll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You’re trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you’re trespassing inside of Squidward!<br>
  
Sandy: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot! (engine sputters and dies)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I ''thought'' this place was in bad shape.<br>
  
Spongebob: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (over speaker) I heard that!<br>
  
Sandy: You’re trespassing, Spongebob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you’re trespassing inside of Squidward!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Let’s get you ''out'' of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It’ll safely take you through your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward’s rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine controls explode)
  
Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Um...we ''broke'' it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)<br>
  
Squidward: (over speaker) I heard that!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Stop it! What are you trying to do?! Kill him?!
  
Sandy: Let’s get you out of there, Spongebob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It’ll safely take you through
+
'''Squidward''': (starts sweating nervously)
your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward’s rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine
+
controls explode)
+
  
Spongebob: Um...we broke it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you’re never successfully done. (laughs nervously) So, just take it nice and easy.
  
Sandy: Stop it! What are you trying to do? Kill him? This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boatmobile, which you’ve never successfully done. So, just take it nice and easy.
+
'''SpongeBob''': No problemo. Nice and...EASY!!! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming at the top their lungs as they head towards the brain)<br>
  
Spongebob: No problemo. Nice and...easy! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both
+
'''Squidward''': So, how’s it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as SpongeBob and Patrick drive into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane) I can’t control my eyeballs!<br>
Patrick and Spongebob are screaming as they head towards the brain)<br>
+
  
Squidward: So, how’s it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as Spongebob and Patrick
+
'''Sandy''': Don’t worry, it’s temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)<br>
drove into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane) I can’t control my
+
eyeballs!<br>
+
  
Sandy: Don’t worry, it’s temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (signs) OK, now what is ''this''?<br>
  
Squidward: (signs) Ok, now what is this?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Oh, just your autograph, uh, for when you’re, uhh, famous.<br>
  
Sandy: Oh, just your autograph for when you’re, uhh, famous.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, of course. I’ve got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What the...?<br>
  
Squidward: Oh, of course. I’ve got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What
+
'''Sandy''': Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)<br>
the...<br>
+
  
Sandy: Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': What’s happening?! (SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into Squidward's nervous system)<br>
  
Squidward: What’s happening? (Spongebob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into
+
'''SpongeBob & Patrick''': {talking among themselves) Give me that! Give it back! No! Give it! Give it back!<br>
  
Squidward's nervous system)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': They’re hitting your central nervous system. (Squidward punches himself)
  
Spongebob: Give it back!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You’re not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...<br>
  
Patrick: No, you give it back!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not in control of my actions.
  
Sandy: They’re hitting your central nervous system!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (gets mad because she knew it was on purpose)
  
Squidward: (punches self) You think?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': (bounce off Squidward’s nervous system)<br>
  
Sandy: You’re not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...<br>
+
'''Sandy''': They’ve gone off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more crazy twitches)<br>
  
Squidward: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not in control of my actions. (Spongebob and Patrick bounce off Squidward’s nervous system)
+
'''Sandy''': Oh my gosh! They're out of control! (SpongeBob and Patrick land in some green goo)<br>
<br>
+
  
Sandy: They’re headed off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ew! Where the hell are we? (Squidward’s stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid)<br>
crazy twitches)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Oh my gosh! You're out of control! (Spongebob and Patrick land in some green goo)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mayday! Mayday! We’re sinking! And Patrick won’t stop screaming!<br>
  
Spongebob: Ew! Where are we? (Squidward’s stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Those stomach acid levels are way too high!<br>
  
Spongebob: Mayday! Mayday! We’re sinking! And Patrick won’t stop screaming!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': The reserve tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)<br>
  
Sandy: The stomach acid levels are way too high!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Finished.<br>
  
Spongebob: The reverse tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It’s a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural gas.<br>
  
Patrick: Finished.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Natural gas?<br>
  
Sandy: Spongebob, you gotta get out of there! It’s a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note
+
'''Patrick''': Like this! (drinks a soda and burps loudly)<br>
plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural gas.<br>
+
  
Spongebob: Natural gas?<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Stop burping inside me! That’s disgusting!<br>
  
Patrick: Like this! (burps loudly after drinking a soda)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': ''Wait'' a minute, Squidward. They might be on to something.<br>
  
Squidward: Stop burping inside me! That’s disgusting!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': What?<br>
  
Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. He might be on to something.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': If you can make a big enough burp...<br>
  
Squidward: What?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.<br>
  
Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Wow.<br>
  
Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through out ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': He’s right.<br>
  
Spongebob: Wow.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': What?<br>
  
Sandy: He’s right.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': We’re going through with your plan, Patrick!<br>
  
Squidward: What?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yay!<br>
  
Sandy: We’re going through with your plan, Patrick!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)<br>
  
Spongebob: Yay!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Now ''burp'', Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)<br>
  
Patrick: What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach)
 +
It's working! (natural gas readings are full)<br>
  
Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': Whee!<br>
  
Spongebob: I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach)
+
'''Sandy''': They’re heading for the esophagus. (smells Squidward’s burp) Phew, what have you been ''eating''?<br>
It's working. (natural gas readings are full)<br>
+
  
Spongebob and Patrick: Whee!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)<br>
  
Sandy: They’re headed for the esophagus. (smells Squidward’s burp) Phew, what have you been eating?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)<br>
  
Squidward: Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': OK, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.<br>
  
Spongebob: Spongebob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I’m already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it)<br>
  
Sandy: Ok, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.<br>
+
'''Narrator''': Two hours later...<br>
  
Spongebob: I’m already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': This stupid d*mn hammer won’t break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob’s water arm floatation, making him bounce everywhere)<br>
  
Narrator: Two hours later...<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (peers out of the sub) SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!<br>
  
Spongebob: This stupid hammer won’t break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts Spongebob's
+
'''SpongeBob''': You’re right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)<br>
water arm flotations, making him everywhere)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Spongebob, do what you were born to do! Dance!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Good work, guys! Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...<br>
  
Spongebob: You’re right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get the heck out of my body! GO!<br>
  
Sandy: Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Grow? (presses the 'GROW' button which sounds an alarm)
  
Squidward: (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get out of my body! Go!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob, Squidward and Sandy''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''
  
Patrick: Grow? (pushes the 'GROW' button which sounds an alarm. Everyone screams. Cut to the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
(Cut to the Krusty Krab)<br>
  
Mr Krabs: Almost ready to open. (cleans his 'NO REFUNDS' sign) There.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Almost ready to open. (cleans his 'NO REFUNDS' sign) There.<br>
  
Squidward: (walks in) Good morning, Mr Krabs.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Krabs.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What’s gotten into you? (zoom out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped  
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What’s gotten into you? (zoom out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body)<br>
body)<br>
+
  
Spongebob: (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr Krabs. (toilet flushes)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. (toilet flushes)<br>
  
Patrick: Squidward, the toilet’s back up again.
+
'''Patrick''': Squidward, the toilet's backed up again. (Squidward growls in anger)
  
[[Category:Episode Transscripts/Season 4]]
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{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
[[Category:Transscript]]
+
  
{{Slogan}}
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
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[[Category:Transcript]]

Latest revision as of 19:29, 4 March 2021

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Wigstruck That's No Lady

Episode Article: Squidtastic Voyage

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Narrator: Ah... today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea. (music blasting from SpongeBob’s house, so the narrator gets angry) Gentle rhythm! (in his normal voice) Oh, never mind.

Gary: Meow. (hides in shell)

SpongeBob: (moon walking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean wave. (wiggles arms) Tropical breeze. (wiggles more)

Patrick: Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)

SpongeBob: Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. Him and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)

Squidward: Huh? (turns around) Grr! SpongeBob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet. SpongeBob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get stuck in his throat)

Squidward: Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)

SpongeBob: (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I’ll get it.

Squidward: (tries to get away from SpongeBob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)

SpongeBob: (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It’s too dark! This calls for extreme measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face, pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!

Squidward: It’s called a reed...eee!

SpongeBob: What’s a reed...eee?

Squidward: Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it’s all your fault! (notes)

SpongeBob: There’s only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (scene cuts to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)

Sandy: Hmm. Just as I thought. You’ve got that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was clumsy of you.

Squidward: I didn’t. It was SpongeBob that... (note)

Sandy: Well, there’s nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)

SpongeBob: Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)

Sandy: Now’s my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.

Squidward: A submarine? (note)

Sandy: That’s right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I’ll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!

Squidward: Why don’t you just shrink the reed?

Sandy: (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (bubble-wipe to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown on) We’re all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?

Squidward: Are you sure this is safe?

Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what’s that? (Squidward looks then Sandy knocks him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, partner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I’m gone. (SpongeBob smiles) Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Can do, Sandy! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huppity-hup-hut!

Patrick: (walks up to SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hello, citizen.

Patrick: What are you doing?

SpongeBob: Guarding Sandy’s submarine.

Patrick: Wow! I’ve never been in a submarine. Let’s look inside.

SpongeBob: Can’t. I’m guarding it.

Patrick: Oh, man! Can't you guard it from the inside?

SpongeBob: (stops) You’re right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you’re a genius! (presses the 'OPEN' button to open the submarine)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! (both salute)

SpongeBob: SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both he and Patrick laugh and go inside. They push buttons and pretend to actually be using the submarine)

Patrick: Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the flashing light)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)

Sandy: I'm back, SpongeBob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (SpongeBob shrinks)

Patrick: (laughs) You’re so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant SpongeBob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine)

Sandy: Patrick! SpongeBob!

Patrick: Ahh, Sandy’s grown to gigantic size!

SpongeBob: I don’t think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.

Patrick: Pfft, that’s silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose)

Sandy: Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.

Squidward: Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here? (holds head)

Sandy: Well, why don’t you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing SpongeBob and Patrick in the submarine inside of Squidward)

Squidward: (screams) SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and... (chuckles nervously then screams)

Sandy: You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn’t be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)

SpongeBob: Where are we, Patrick?

Patrick: I don’t know. But it’s a real dump.

Sandy: (over speaker) SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?

SpongeBob: It's Sandy.

Patrick: She’s in there? (pulls out an axe) I’ll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)

Sandy: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot! (engine sputters and dies)

SpongeBob: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?

Sandy: You’re trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you’re trespassing inside of Squidward!

Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape.

Squidward: (over speaker) I heard that!

Sandy: Let’s get you out of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It’ll safely take you through your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward’s rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine controls explode)

SpongeBob: Um...we broke it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)

Sandy: Stop it! What are you trying to do?! Kill him?!

Squidward: (starts sweating nervously)

Sandy: This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you’re never successfully done. (laughs nervously) So, just take it nice and easy.

SpongeBob: No problemo. Nice and...EASY!!! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming at the top their lungs as they head towards the brain)

Squidward: So, how’s it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as SpongeBob and Patrick drive into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane) I can’t control my eyeballs!

Sandy: Don’t worry, it’s temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)

Squidward: (signs) OK, now what is this?

Sandy: Oh, just your autograph, uh, for when you’re, uhh, famous.

Squidward: Oh, of course. I’ve got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What the...?

Sandy: Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)

Squidward: What’s happening?! (SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into Squidward's nervous system)

SpongeBob & Patrick: {talking among themselves) Give me that! Give it back! No! Give it! Give it back!

Sandy: They’re hitting your central nervous system. (Squidward punches himself)

Sandy: You’re not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...

Squidward: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not in control of my actions.

Sandy: (gets mad because she knew it was on purpose)

SpongeBob and Patrick: (bounce off Squidward’s nervous system)

Sandy: They’ve gone off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more crazy twitches)

Sandy: Oh my gosh! They're out of control! (SpongeBob and Patrick land in some green goo)

SpongeBob: Ew! Where the hell are we? (Squidward’s stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid)

SpongeBob: Mayday! Mayday! We’re sinking! And Patrick won’t stop screaming!

Sandy: Those stomach acid levels are way too high!

SpongeBob: The reserve tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)

Patrick: Finished.

Sandy: SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It’s a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural gas.

SpongeBob: Natural gas?

Patrick: Like this! (drinks a soda and burps loudly)

Squidward: Stop burping inside me! That’s disgusting!

Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. They might be on to something.

Squidward: What?

Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp...

Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.

SpongeBob: Wow.

Sandy: He’s right.

Squidward: What?

Sandy: We’re going through with your plan, Patrick!

SpongeBob: Yay!

Patrick: What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)

Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)

SpongeBob: I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach) It's working! (natural gas readings are full)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Whee!

Sandy: They’re heading for the esophagus. (smells Squidward’s burp) Phew, what have you been eating?

Squidward: Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)

Sandy: OK, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.

SpongeBob: I’m already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it)

Narrator: Two hours later...

SpongeBob: This stupid d*mn hammer won’t break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob’s water arm floatation, making him bounce everywhere)

Patrick: (peers out of the sub) SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!

SpongeBob: You’re right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)

Sandy: Good work, guys! Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...

Squidward: (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get the heck out of my body! GO!

Patrick: Grow? (presses the 'GROW' button which sounds an alarm)

SpongeBob, Squidward and Sandy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Cut to the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Almost ready to open. (cleans his 'NO REFUNDS' sign) There.

Squidward: (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What’s gotten into you? (zoom out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body)

SpongeBob: (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. (toilet flushes)

Patrick: Squidward, the toilet's backed up again. (Squidward growls in anger)


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