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| − | This is a transcript for [[Squid Defense (Episode)|Squid Defense]].
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| − | *''[episode starts with Squidward walking out of the bathroom holding a newspaper]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob: '''Hiii...yah! ''[karate chops Squidward in the stomach] ''Squidward! Sorry, buddy, didn't see you. Are you okay?
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| − | *'''Squidward: '''''[holding leg in pain; moans] ''What kind of unforeseen yet completely predictable stupidity have you ruined my day with this time?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob: '''Oh. I'm just practicing my ''[chops with hand] ''karate chops. I'm going to have ''[takes off karate glove] ''an intense karate session with Sandy later. Sandy says you never know what creepy creeper could be creeping creepingly around any creepy corner.
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| − | *'''Squidward: '''Paranoid much?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob: '''''[spooked] ''Hiyah! ''[chops Squidward in the torso again] ''Sorry Squidward! I thought you were one of those creepy creepers. You know Squidward, you really should know how to protect yourself. Maybe you like to join us.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Well...no. I have more important things to do.
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Okey dokey Squidward! Stop on by later if you change your mind about the karate.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' ''[pushes SpongeBob]'' I won't. ''[walks out of the Krusty Krab and scene changes to him walking in town with groceries. He then walks down a dark alley then turns around notcing something]'' Uh...hello? Is somebody there? ''[spots a large figure in the distance]'' Um...hello? It's consired rude not to answer! ''[the figure walks closer to him. He starts to act nervous]'' Hah...whatta got? Cotton in your earholes? ''[laughs nervously as the figure gets even more closer to him]'' I gotta get outta here! ''[starts to run away then walks face-first into a low ladder then falls on the ground and drops the groceries. Notices the figure stare at him then he gets up and runs to SpongeBob's house]'' SPONGEBOB!!! ''[starts banging on his door as the scene changes over to SpongeBob and Gary]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''[watching television with Gary and they both are laughing]'' Oh wait, I don't get it.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Open up! ''[the door opens and he falls on his face]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward?
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Hurry SpongeBob! ''[pushes SpongeBob inside and closes the door]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward? What's wrong?
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' You were rrrright!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' I was? About what?
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' About the danger that lurks around every corner! ''[Screams as a shadow roars at him]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Um, Squidward? ''[Gary is shown]'' It's just Gary.
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| − | *'''Gary:''' ''[looking at the television]'' Meow meow meow meow meow!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Hey I should've named you "Scary" eh buddy?
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| − | *'''Gary:''' (Laughs) Meow merow merow merow! ''[crawls away]''
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| − | *'''Squidward: '''SpongeBob, this is serious! I was just viciously attacked!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) No!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' You gotta teach me SpongeBob! Teach me the way! The way of tarate.
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| − | *'''SpongeBob: '''Eh, don't you mean "karate?"
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Um...sure. Whatever.
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| − | *''[bubble transition to Squidward and SpongeBob who is in his karate gear]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''[walking around Squidward]'' Hmm...hmm! Hmm...yes! You show potential young student! ''[grabs Squidward's arm]'' But with an rubbery arm and the doginess in this area ''[pokes Squidward's belly], ''you obiviously have our work cut out for us.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Can't we just get on with this SpongeBob?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' See see ba ba!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Sigh...I mean can't get just get on with this "O' Great Sensi?"
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Play close attention and you will recieve the totailty of my karate mastery! Handed down from Sensi Cheeks herself. Now watch! Watch and learn. ''[walks over to a piece of wood and karate chops it the force breaks him in half]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Uh huh. What else you got?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' That's it.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' That's it!? THAT'S the "totality" of your karate mastery?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob Half 1:''' Well, Squidward. I've only been studing a couple of years. But if total karate knowledge is what you seek...
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| − | *'''SpongeBob Half 2:''' ...then you should visit Sensi Cheeks!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob Half 1: '''Hey! I was just going to say that!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob Half 2:''' I know! ''[They both laugh]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Oh boy...
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| − | *''[karate chop transition to Sandy's Treedome]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' I don't know SpongeBob. ''[grabs Squidward's arm]'' With the rubbery arms and doeyness in this area ''[pokes Squidward's belly], ''we obviously-
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' -Alright already! We've been through this! Are you going to teach me how to get revenge on my attacker or what!?
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| − | *'''Sandy: '''Woah, oh, oh! Karate ain't for revenge. It's a delicate art that helps you protect yourself!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Yeah, fine.
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Great! Now repeat after me: HIYAH!!! ''[karate chops]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' HIYAH!!! ''[also karate chops]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Oh...whatever. Hiyah...
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' "I promise not to use karate only for protection and not for revenge."
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' "I promise not to use karate only for protection and not for revenge." Or whatever...
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| − | *''[karate chop transition to SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidward near a wooden board]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Ok then! Let's get started with a little choppin'! Like so. HIYAH!!! ''[karate chops the board in half and SpongeBob as well'''']'''''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Woah!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' A board? I wasn't attacked by a piece of wood! I was assulted by a deranged lunatic!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' The only way to protect yourself is if you know the basics. Now give it a chop!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Sigh...whatever you say Sensi...
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' This is a tough one Squidward. Don't feel bad if you can't do it.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' I'm sure I can break one little twig! Hiiii-YAH!!! ''[karate chops the board but it doesn't break. the force makes him shake and moves back on the treedome wall and he breaks apart on the ground]''.
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| − | *''[karate chop transition to Sandy]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Arms up Squidward! Block! BLOCK! ''[Squidward gets hit back acrons thrown by SpongeBob]'' Block! BLOCK!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Arg! This is stupid! The only thing this manic threw at me were his big, meaty fists! ''[raises his hands up but SpongeBob continues to throw acorns at him. Then he throws a acorn at SpongeBob]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''[blocks the acorn with his elbow]'' BLOCK!
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| − | *'''Sandy:'''''' '''Now that's how you do it!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Dimwits luck! ''[gets hit by another acorn]''
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| − | *''[karate chop transition to the tree of them near a sandbag]''
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Come on Squiddy! Give it the ol' roundhouse!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Alright...''[moves backwards]'' HIYAH!!! ''[kicks the sandbag but gets stuck to it and starts to get smacked over and over and is thrown in front of Sandy]'' This isn't working! ''[walks back toward the sandbag]'' My assultant was twice as tall! And shoulders were twenty times as broad! The burrows of his brow with the size as biceps!
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| − | *'''Sandy: '''Hmm...we're gotta make this more personal for you Squidward. So is to help you bring out your inner dragon! SpongeBob!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in wearing a ski mask]'' Hey! Grocery boy! It is me! A big, scary miscreant! Now hand over that sack of groceries before things get ugly!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Groceries? You'll have to pull my groceries from my cold, wet tentacles bucko! Take this! Hiyah! ''[tries to karate chop SpongeBob but his arm gets stuck to his helment]'' Huh? Think that's going to stop me!? You're not getting me without a fight! HIYAH! ''[tries to kick SpongeBob but his feet retract and get stuck to his helment as well. He starts moving around on the ground getting more and more tangled]'' Got you...right where...I want you! ''[moves around again becoming fully tangled]'' Vengence...is...mine!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Vengence? Squidward Tentacles, I told ya at the beginning that karate ain't for revenge! Sorry Squidward. As of now, I ain't your sensi no more! ''[walks off]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Sandy! Wait! ''[tries to move]'' I need you to teach...Sigh...this is pointless. I'll never be able to protect myself. I may as well start handing my groceries to criminals. Here! Please Mr. Criminal! Take my unprocessed kelp feed!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy! Wait! Please! Help him! He just want to keep his organic, blue algie safe.
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' He's going to use my teachings for revenge SpongeBob.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Please Sandy! I'll do anything!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Oh really? Well Squidward, a wise sensi once told me: ''[takes out a mop]'' "One must first know the movements of everyday, to master ka-rah-tay!
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| − | *''[karate chop transition to a short montage with Squidward first mopping in Sandy's house. He then tries to turn on a vaccum but doesn't turn on. He kicks it and it finally turns on and starts to clean up making the place spotless]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Phew! All finished!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Wow! It looks great!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob: '''''[to Squidward] ''Psst! You missed a spot!
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| − | *''[Squidward growls and a karate transition to him with water hoses tied to him spraying the grass]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Alright! I reckon that yard is good and watered!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Psst! You missed a spot!
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| − | *''[Squidward mumbles angrily as a karate chop transition to him shoveling the ground]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Phew! ''[grabs the bucket of acorns and pours them into the hole he dug up]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Atta boy Squiddy! ''[On a beach chair next to SpongeBob]'' Be sure to twist that torso!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Sandy? ''[streatches]'' I don't remember this being a part of my training.
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' It wasn't! But today is chore day! So I'd figured why not fry two fish in one skillet! ''[she and SpongeBob laugh]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' That's it! I am outta here! This is a no good waste of my time! ''[rams his foot onto a bucket of acorns and they start to fly toward him. He blocks them all away]'' Hey! I'm doing it! I'm blocking the acorns!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Ye-HAAA!!! I told ya'll had to do is know the movements of everyday to master karate!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Hah hah! I can't believe I did it!
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''[holding a wooden board]'' YEAH YEAH! Now try this!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Ok! Ok! Hee-YAH!!! ''[chops the wooden board and SpongeBob in half] ''Hah hah hah! Oh, I did it! ''[starts running then jumps]'' Hee-YAH!!! ''[kicks the Slug Buddy punching bag destroying it]'' I can protect my groceries now! Hee-YAH!!! ''[kicks SpongeBob toward the glass wall and breaks him apart. SpongeBob holds a thumbs up]'' I am a karate master! WOO HOO HOO!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Well, I wouldn't go that far. But you have proven yourself worthy of...''[takes out a belt]''...the Belt of Basic Competance!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Yeah yeah, that's great, thanks. But I have some business to attend to! ''[walks off'' ''and a karate chop transition to him walking down a dark alley]'' Heh heh heh...What's this? Do I find myself on this dark and scary street, yet again? We'll just see what happens! ''[walks down further into the alley]'' This time!
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| − | *'''Man:''' Hey! You! ''[starts walking toward Squidward]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Let me give him a taste! A mere morcial of what's in store! ''[karate chops] ''Hee-YAH! ''[kicks] ''HEE-YAH! ''[flips]'' Hiyah! That one was called Washing Sandy's Windows! ''[the man walks closer]'' Stay back or you're gonna get it! I am warning you! ''[the man continues to walk closer breathing heavily] ''Ok buddy, I warned ya! ''[near a trash can]'' I like to call this one Taking Out Sandy's Trash! Hee-YAH!!! ''[kicks the trash can toward the man]''
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| − | *'''Man:''' What? ''[gets hit on the head by the trash can]'' OW!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Hah! Hah! How do you like them apples? YAH!!! ''[punches a crate at the man]''
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| − | *'''Man:''' Ow! OW!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' ''[holding two wooden planks]'' Hah! Feel my wrath! ''[throws them]'' How's your uncle!
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| − | *'''Man:''' ''[gets hit on the head by one of the planks]'' Ow! ''[the other hits him on the stomach]'' Ow!
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' My finishing move! I give you Watering Sandy's Lawn! Hee-YAH!!! ''[spin kicks a dumpster at the man. Then pushes it off of him]''
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| − | *'''Man:''' Oh...hey, man! Wha-wha-what was that for? ''[holding Squidward's groceries]'' I was trying to give you back your groceries you dropped!
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| − | *'''Squidward: '''''[takes the groceries]'' Uh, oh.
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy! I found him! He's over here! ''[holding the belt]'' You forgot your belt silly! ''[looks at the man and gasps]''
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Gosh! What happened to you?
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' This guy's been.... ka-rah-tayed!
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' After all I'd said about never using karate for revenge.
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| − | *'''SpongeBob:''' For shame, Squidward. For shame.
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| − | *'''Sandy:''' Looks like he's not worthy of this belt after all. ''[takes the belt]'' Thanks for dishonoring our trust in you Squidward ''[walks off with SpongeBob]''.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Whatever! I'm still a karate master!
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| − | *'''Officer John:''' Wow, really? You are? ''[walks Squidward to the policecar]''
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Yes I am!
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| − | *'''Officer John:''' Hey watch your head. ''[Squidward gets into the policecar. Then he gets into it]'' Oh, I never guess it.
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' And what does that suppose to mean?
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| − | *'''Officer John:''' Oh, uh nothing. Just with the rubbery arms and the doeyness in the mid-section...
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| − | *'''Squidward:''' Ok already! I get it! ''[notices the hand cuffs on him]'' What? Wait a second! Am I under arrest?
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| − | *'''Officer John: '''You sure are! And you have the right to remain silent! ''[Squidward screams loudly]'' Or not silent...''[drives off]''.
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| − | *''[Episode ends].''
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