Episode Transcript: Squid's Visit

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Squid's Visit


Season 6 Transcripts


Squidward: (The episode starts at the Krusty Krab, outside. Next scene, it is in the Krusty Krab. He is reading a book called Art, and he blinks. SpongeBob's eye appears through the kitchen window, and he looks at him. Mr. Krabs walks up to Squidward putting his arm on the cash register-boat, smiling. He tries to clear his throat. Squidward blinks again).

Mr. Krabs: Bleh!

Squidward: (he doesn't look up from his book, but his head raises) May I help you?

Mr. Krabs: (Squidward lowers his head back down again) Well... it's almost quittin' time, Squidward. You... got any big plans for after work? (Squidward licks his tentacle, and flips the page).

Squidward: Nope. (Mr. Krabs frowns at him. SpongeBob blinks. Mr. Krabs walks away. SpongeBob disappears from the window, and appears again next to Squidward at the cash register-boat. He blinks, and that is when Squidward notices him, squints his eyes on him, and starts grunting furiously).

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. (his voice is a little bit lower): Pretty incredible shift, huh?

Squidward: (sarcastically): If you say so.

SpongeBob: Any plans after work?

Squidward: (annoyed): No.

SpongeBob: (relaxed voice): Yeah, me neither. Just gonna be hangin' at Casa de Sponga. Feel free to drop by if you're in the neighborhood. (giggles). (Squidward disappears leaving his work hat and his book, Art behind. Next, Squidward is seen walking away from the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob follows after him). Hey, Squidward. Wait up! Squidward! I realized I really didn't extend a proper invitation back there. (holds out his hand) So what do ya say, Squidward? How about you come over to my house for a visit tonight? (Squidward says nothing. SpongeBob pokes him). Squidward? (pokes him again. his voice is a little bit louder:) Squidward? (pokes him again) Squidward? (pokes him once more) Squidward? (Squidward stops walking, and SpongeBob walks right into him. He backs up a few spaces).

Squidward: SpongeBob, thank you so much for that lovely invitation but I must respectfully tell you I will never visit you. (yells): EVER!!! (his yell blows SpongeBob away. A chicken clucking is heard, and Squidward walks away. Squidward sighs). Take heart, Squidward, it'll all be over soon. (he stops to see SpongeBob is sobbing and holding onto his leg).

SpongeBob: (sobbing into a puddle): Oh, please come over for a visit, Squidward! (his eyes turn into giant black circles with three giant holes in them) It's been so long! I can't even remember your last visit! (He keeps on crying).

Squidward: That's probably because I've never visited you.

SpongeBob: (sobbing): Please? Please? Please?! (Squidward is at the bus stop) Please!!?? Please!!?? (bus comes up, and when it leaves, the puddles from SpongeBob's crying are still there. This scene is a quick cameo at the laundramaut) Please? (This scene is another cameo at Barg'N-Mart) Please? (this cameo is at a resteraunt) Please, please? Please? (This one is not a cameo, but it is at Squidward's house) Please, please? Pleeeaase? Pleaaaaaase? Please? Please? (Squidward is still dragging SpongeBob furiously who picks him up, and shoves two of his tentacles on his doormat, walks in, steps on him, and closes the door. He immediatley gets up)

SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. Maybe some other time (waves and walks away) (Title card "24 Hours Later" appears).

French Narrator: Twenty-four hours later... (Squidward is again reading a book called "Art" at the Krusty Krab, when SpongeBob appears. Squidward moans).

SpongeBob: Hey-ho, Squidward. You got any... (Squidward grabs SpongeBob's lips)

Squidward: Before you ask me that question, ask yourself this: Why would I want to leave the comfrot of my home for your dirty little hovel?? (he keeps pulling on SpongeBob's lips which immediatley pull back onto his face. SpongeBob smiles)

SpongeBob: What if I got a couple of throw pillows? (Bubbles float indicating the next scene, which starts outside at Conch Street. The camera keeps on slowly zooming in on SpongeBob's house. Next, the camera is inside SpongeBob's house where he and Patrick are putting together a puzzle). Patrick? (Patrick blinks) Has Squidward ever visited you at home? (Patrick is trying to work two pieces of a puzzle with are both two shades of green together. The camera immediatley goes to the next clip which is directly on Patrick).

Patrick: Only once. To take back some stuff I borrowed. (This clip is directly on SpongeBob whose finger is on a puzzle piece in a light shade of green and who is moving it back and forht).

SpongeBob: He said he wouldn't leave the comfort of his own home for my dirty little hovel.

Patrick: (He is holding some glue, possibly puzzleglue. He glues it on a puzzle piece spilling lots of it onto the table). Borrow something, and he'll have to come over to get it back. (He smushes the already-glued puzzle piece into the big pile of glue). Uhh! (Patrick scoots out of his chair and walks out of the kitchen). Well... hey, thanks for lettin' me play puzzle with you. See ya later! (he opens the door reveiling outside-- huh? SpongeBob snaps his fingers)

SpongeBob: That's it! (bubbles float indicating the next scene, which has a clip in which the camera is exactly on the front of Squidward's house.

Squidward (from inside): A stick of butter, and just a touch of pepper (This clip is inside of his house, where Squidward is at his table cooking, pouring salt. On the table are also a few dirty dishes that seem to have been smeared in chocolate, a bottle full of purple liquid, some purple spills, and salt). Dya--ah! (hammering on nails are heards, surprising Squidward, causing the pepper to fly up in the air, and to land in one of Squidward's plant. As it tilts, some of the pepper spills onto the rug). Not on the rug! (he angers furiously, and goes to his window and opens it up. By Spongebob's house are a ladder, and a... whatchamacallit, TBA). SpongeBob! Will you keep it down?? I am trying to cook! (The window to SpongeBob's house opens, and there is SpongeBob holding a hammer).

SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Squidward! Just doin' a little home improvment.

Squidward: Well, you made me spill pepper all over my imported rug! (points his tentacle down. Shuts the window. SpongeBob waves, smiling).

SpongeBob: Oh-okay, Squidward. (Squidward sighs)

Squidward: SpongeBob! (walks toward his closet) I need the right tool for the job. Huh? (he sees a little note with a smiley sun, and SpongeBob in Squidward's thoughts reads what it says)...

SpongeBob in Squidward's thoughts: (This is exactly what it says on the note, not in the correct spelling grammer or capitalization or any of that junk). Dear Squidward, Thanks For lending me your vacuum cleaner! Sincerely, SpongeBob SquarePants. (the note turns into SpongeBob's face who says)... Oh, P.S., (laughs each time the camera zooms on Squidward's face, literally! SpongeBob's purple telephone, though usually it is a conch shell rings. SpongeBob hits his desk, and the telephone flies up in the air, and lands in SpongeBob's hand who is ain a relaxed mood, seeming like by his face).

SpongeBob in person: SquarePants recidence. (Squidward's red phone is seen, and Squidward is in an unhappy mood, by the looks on his face).

Squidward: Why do you have my vacuum cleaner?

SpongeBob: (seemingly excited): Squidward! (wiggles fingers) It's been a while since I last got a call from my favorite next-door neighbor! (Squidward slaps his head)

Squidward: (angered): That's because I've never called you! Now, why have you stolen my vacuum cleaner?

SpongeBob: I didn't steal it, silly, I borrowed it.

Squidward: Are you done cleaning up that dingy hole you call home?

SpongeBob: (very excited): You won't even recognize the place, Squidward (gasps excitedly)

Squidward: Yeah, probably not. (SpongeBob keeps on gasp-like panting. This clip is on the window between Squidward's and SpongeBob's houses who are looking at each other by their windows. I'll be over to get my vacuum in twenty minutes. (slams window shut)

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward is finally coming over for a visit! (this clip is at Squidward's house putting a casserole in the oven, mumbling).

Squidward: Tardy pants! (angers. bubbles float indicating the next scene. Squidward is knocking on SpongeBob's door. Squidward blinks. The door opens to see SpongeBob. The inside of his house is seen dark green. SpongeBob is smiling).

SpongeBob: Squidward! I've been expecting you! Welcome to my humble of ode! I hope that you will find comfort. And please don't hesitate to ask me if there's anything I can... (Squidward pushes SpongeBob out of the way, mumbling softly).

Squidward: I just want my vacuum back... (he makes a shocked look on his face) You've made an exact replica of my living room! (camera pans left to right reveiling everything in Squidward's house).

SpongeBob (Squidward's mouth is dropped wide open) Well, you said you wouldn't leave the comfort of my home, (puts out his hands) so I brought the comfort here! (louder voice): Isn't it GREAT!?!? (SpongeBob laughs, Squidward angers).

Squidward: (yelling): NO! IT ISN'T!! You can't just steal my decorating style, and... (slaps his face, and rubs his tentacle down it).

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