Episode Transcript: Snowball Effect

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!Back Episode Transscript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Doing Time|Doing Time]]
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|[[Episode Transscript: One Krab's Trash|One Krab's Trash]]
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Episode Article: [[Snowball Effect]]
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==Characters==
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*[[SpongeBob]]
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*[[Patrick]]
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*[[Squidward]]
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*[[Plankton]]
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*[[Fred]]
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*Realistic Fish head
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(footage of real glaciers)<br>
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Narrator: Ah, observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg. (scene cuts to a block of ice falling into the water) This frozen
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giant, normally found floating in polar regions, can sometimes stray into warmer waters causing dramatic changes in climate
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to undersea life. (a giant block of ice floats over Bikini Bottom and it starts to snow underwater)<br>
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Realistic Fish Head: Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit late last night, and he brought not with him a pillow or
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a sheet, but a blanket. A blanket of snow. (view of Jellyfish Fields) Yes, from Jellyfish Fields... (view of Mr Krabs'
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house) to residential abodes... (view of a traffic light changing from 'go' to 'stop' then back to 'go') to bustling
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downtown... (view of Spongebob's house) it’s nothing but the white stuff. (Spongebob opens the front door)<br>
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Spongebob: Whoopee!<br>
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Realistic Fish Head: And local residents are taking notice. (Spongebob and Gary put on their santa hats. Scene scrolls over
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to kids making ice sculptures, even Mr Krabs making a sculpture of a dollar. Mrs Puff walks over to her boat, covered in
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snow. She take a deep breath and blows it all away then drives off, driving pass a guy covered in the snow she blew off)<br>
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Fred: Hey!<br>
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Plankton: (walks outside the Chum Bucket) What’s this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy
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and rule the world! (laughs evily but a bunch of snow falls on top of him) Ahh...oh, stop! I wish to rule you...! (he's now
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buried in snow. Scene cuts to Patrick)<br>
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Patrick: Snow angel! (laughs while on the ground flapping his hands and arms. He stands up but he only made a circle) Oh...
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(a snowball hits him in the side of the head) Hey! (Spongebob whistles) Thanks a lot, Spongebob! While you were just
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standing there, whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!<br>
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Spongebob: Oh really, Patrick? (giggles) Did the snowball look like this? (throw sanother snowball, this one hitting
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Patrick's eyes)<br>
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Patrick: Yeah. (Spongebob laughs. Patrick runs over to Spongebob) This is serious Spongebob. Someone’s after me. I think
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I’d better leave town.<br>
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Spongebob: Patrick, I threw it. We’re having a snowball fight. Don’t you get it?<br>
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Patrick: Snowball fight? I want to play! I want to play!<br>
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Spongebob: Well first, you have to make a snowball.<br>
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Patrick: Oh yeah, snowball. (bends down and starts making a snowball) Oh, this is gonna be great! (shows his snowball but
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its a cube) Huh? (tries making another snowball but its a triangle) Wha...? (tries making another snowball but its a double-
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helix) Aw...! Spongebob, could you help me make a snowball?<br>
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Spongebob: Sure, pal. (makes a snowball and hands it to Patrick)<br>
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Patrick: Thanks buddy. (throws it at Spongebob)<br>
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Spongebob: Patrick! How could you?<br>
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Patrick: It’s a snowball fight, remember?<br>
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Spongebob: Oh yeah. (two stare at each other then run back to their forts they made out of snow. They start to throw lots
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of snaowballs at each other. Scene cuts to inside Squidward's house where Squidward is sitting by the fire with his
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slippers on each tentacle)<br>
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Squidward: Ah, yes... Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge. (squirts lemon juice in his
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eye) Why do I even bother? (a banging is heard outside. He looks outside to see Spongebob and Patrick building snow forts)
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Would you two please keep it down?!<br>
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Spongebob: Squidward! You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace!<br>
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Patrick: That’s me!<br>
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Spongebob: I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you’ll rise through the ranks and become a
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regular private!<br>
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Squidward: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me.
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(snickers) Got 'em both. (notices a snowball flying at him, so he ducks. The snowball puts out his fire. Squidward closes
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his window)<br>
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Spongebob: Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren... (a snowball
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hits him in the face, sending him into the snow) ...der. (Patrick guffawls) So that’s how he wants it to go down. (takes
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off his santa hat, revealing a funnel under it. Scoops up snow in the funnel and puts it on his head. He jumps up on his
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fort and starts shooting snowballs at Patrick very fast)<br>
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Patrick: (stands up, revealing a bunch of snowballs lined up on his forehead) Ha! You missed me! (Spongebob shoots more
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snow into Patrick's mouth. Slow motion occurs then resumes to normal speed after Patrick swallows the snowballs. Spongebob
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fires more snowballs and this time the snowballs get stuck)<br>
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Spongebob: Score one for the boys back home! (Patrick walks up to Squidward's house and knocks on his door)<br>
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Squidward: Yes? Oh, Patrick. (Patrick is still choking) What an unpleasant surprise. Oh boy, nothing like a game of
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charades. (Patrick swallows the snowballs)<br>
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Patrick: I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all
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the water and now I’m better.<br>
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Squidward: Fascinating. (closes door) Now where was I? (another knock on the door) What?<br>
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Patrick: Can I use your bathroom?<br>
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Squidward: Patrick, go use your own bathroom.<br>
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Patrick: I don’t think I can make it! Please?<br>
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Squidward: No.<br>
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Patrick: Please?<br>
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Squidward: No.<br>
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Patrick: Please?<br>
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Squidward: No.<br>
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Patrick: Please?<br>
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Squidward: Ok, make it quick.<br>
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Patrick: That’s ok.<br>
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Spongebob: Aha! Aiding the enemy! Caught you red-handed, Squidward!<br>
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Squidward: Look, Spongebob, I was just... (Spongebob throws a snowball at Squidward but it lands in his fire again, putting
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it out) Spongebob! Oh... (picks up a snowball. Spongebob shrieks)<br>
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Patrick: Yay, Squidward’s on my side!<br>
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Squidward: I most certainly am not!<br>
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Spongebob: Then that means he’s on my side!<br>
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Squidward: No Spongebob, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I
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will not stoop to your level. (drops the snowball) If you two want to knock each others brains out with snowballs, kindly
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leave me out of it. (walks back inside)<br>
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Patrick: Come on Spongebob, let’s go knock each other brains out!<br>
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Spongebob: I’m ready!<br>
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Squidward: Hmmm... (imagines Patrick throwing a snowball at Spongebob, knocking his brain out)<br>
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Spongebob: Ok, Patrick, it’s out!<br>
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Squidward: (chuckles) Now there’s something I’d actually like to see! (takes a chair up to one of his windows) Nothing
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wrong with getting a front row seat I suppose. (snickers) Ah. What’s this? (Spongebob and Patrick are shaking hands)
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Wha...I...no! (walks back outside) What are you doing? You’re supposed to be knocking each other’s brains out!<br>
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Spongebob: We signed a peace treaty, Squidward. (Patrick shows treaty) You were right, fighting is for children.<br>
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Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it’s for adults too! Give me that peace treaty! (rips the treaty into pieces) There!
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Let the war continue.<br>
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Spongebob: Squidward, that wasn’t the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty.<br>
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Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now Patrick, pretend I’m Spongebob.<br>
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Patrick: Then who am I?<br>
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Squidward: You’re Patrick.<br>
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Spongebob: Can I be Mr Krabs?<br>
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Squidward: No! Wait, why?<br>
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Spongebob: He’s a good leader.<br>
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Squidward: Would you butt out?<br>
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Patrick: Hey, you can’t talk to Mr Krabs like that, Squidward.<br>
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Squidward: I’m Spongebob, you’re Patrick! (Squidward throws a snowball at Patrick) Now, what are you going to do? (Patrick
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throws it back at Squidward) Patrick, why didn’t you hit Spongebob?<br>
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Patrick: You said you were Spongebob, Spongebob.<br>
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Spongebob: (imitating Mr Krabs) Arrgh it’s true, Mr Squidward! Now get back to work! (laughs)<br>
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Squidward: Oh boy. Alright, I can see where this is going. Let’s just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward,
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am now part in this war. Now...<br>
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Spongebob: If you're in this war then where’s your fort?<br>
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Squidward: I don’t have one, ok? Now...<br>
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Patrick: You gotta have a fort, Squidward.<br>
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Spongebob: Forts win wars, Squidward.<br>
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Squidward: (growls) Ok, fine? You want a fort? (makes a small snow fort) There, there’s your fort. Now...<br>
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Patrick: That fort’s too small, Squidward.<br>
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Squidward: It’s ok, Patrick. It’s just a demonstration. Now...<br>
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Spongebob: He’s right, Squidward. That thing would never protect you, it’s downright puny.<br>
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Squidward: Trust me, it’s fine. (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)<br>
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Spongebob: See, it is too small.<br>
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Squidward: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn’t even give me a chance to crouch down. (crouches down) See? Down here, I
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am perfectly... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)<br>
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Spongebob: Exposed.<br>
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Squidward: Would you two please... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward) ...stop throwing... (Patrick throws another
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snowball at Squidward) ...snowballs?! (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward. Squidward growls and retaliates with a snowball of his own but it puts out his fireplace again)<br>
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Spongebob: Squidward returned fire!<br>
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Patrick: Then it’s war!<br>
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Squidward: No, no...no, wait, wait, wait! (crouches down behind his snow fort) I was just giving a demonstration! (Spongeb
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ob and Patrick throw lots of snowballs at Squidward. Squidward ends up looking like a snowman from all the snowballs that
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hit him) Alright, that’s it! You guys asked for it! (throws a snowball at Spongebob) I got him! Ha! I got him! (laughs) In
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your face, Spongebob! (laughs) This is actually kind of...exciting! Why I’ve never felt so alive!<br>
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Patrick: (laughs) He got you good, Spongebob! (Squidward throws lots of snowballs at Spongebob and Patrick) Take cover!
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(Squidward continues to throw snowballs)<br>
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Squidward: Oh yeah...<br>
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Patrick: Hey, Spongebob?<br>
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Spongebob: Yes, Patrick?<br>
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Patrick: I think Squidward’s taking this really seriously. (Squidward's clarinet is wedged in Patrick's forehead) That last
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one had his clarinet in it.<br>
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Spongebob: It’s time for Plan B. (both tiptoe away while Squidward stops throwing snowbals)<br>
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Squidward: What’s going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I’d better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire.
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(notices his fort is a little lopsided and gasps) What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right
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through me! (pats it down with more snow) I’ll just fix that right now. (laughs) Wait, that makes my north wall a weak
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spot! (pats some more snow on the north side) But if they attack from the rear, I’m a goner! (gasps) But what about the possibility of an aerial attack! (starts digging more snow on his fort. Scene cuts to a few seconds later where Squidward
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has a gigantic fort, near the top of the tree) Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable! (laughs more) Now, where are
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those fools? (snow falls on Squidward’s head) The first shot has been fired! (throws a snowball while more snow falls on
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his head) Take this, Patrick! (throws another snowball as more snow falls on Squidward) Taste my frozen fury! (throws two
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snowballs. Zoom out to show the snow from the tree is falling on Squidward's head) Victory is mine! (laughs wildly) Well, I
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got you now! (Squidward keeps throwing snowballs while Spongebob and Patrick are watching TV and sipping some cocoa)<br>
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Spongebob: Did you hear something, Patrick?<br>
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Patrick: Nope.<br>
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TV: Let out the snowshoes and the shovels.
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[[Category:Transscript]]
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[[Category:Episode Transscripts/Season 3]]
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{{Slogan}}
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Revision as of 13:27, 9 February 2008

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