Episode Transcript: Just One Bite

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: My Pretty Seahorse|My Pretty Seahorse]]
 
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: My Pretty Seahorse|My Pretty Seahorse]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Bully|The Bully]]
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Bully|The Bully]]
 
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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 
*[[Krusty Krab]] Customers
 
*[[Krusty Krab]] Customers
 +
*[[Dr. Gill Gilliam]]
 +
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] (Does not speak.)
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
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Squidward: (hands a customer his tray of food) Here you go, sir. A King Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works, double batter fried on a stick. (puts a stick into the food)<br>
 
Squidward: (hands a customer his tray of food) Here you go, sir. A King Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works, double batter fried on a stick. (puts a stick into the food)<br>
  
Customer: Thanks! (walks off)<br>
+
Harold: Thanks! (walks off)<br>
  
Squidward: Barnacle head. (customer comes back)<br>
+
Squidward: Barnacle head. (Harold comes back)<br>
  
Customer: Pardon me?<br>
+
Harold: Pardon me?<br>
  
Squidward: (holds up a mayonnaise bottle) You forgot your mayonnaise. (sets it on the customer’s tray)<br>
+
Squidward: (holds up a mayonnaise bottle) You forgot your mayonnaise. (sets it on Harold's tray)<br>
  
Customer: Thanks. (walks off and sits at his table)<br>
+
Harold: Thanks. (walks off and sits at his table)<br>
  
Squidward: Look at them eating that garbage. (customer bites into his food and squirts mayonnaise into his mouth) It’s
+
Squidward: Look at them eating that garbage. (Harold bites into his food and squirts mayonnaise into his mouth) It's
disgusting. They’re sickening. I hate Krabby Patties.<br>
+
disgusting. They're sickening. I hate Krabby Patties.<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: (laughing from the kitchen window) Good one, Squidward.<br>
 
SpongeBob: (laughing from the kitchen window) Good one, Squidward.<br>
Line 36: Line 38:
 
Squidward: Good what?<br>
 
Squidward: Good what?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Like you don’t know. (hits Squidward on the back of the head) Saying, (imitates Squidward) “I hate Krabby  
+
SpongeBob: Like you don't know. (hits Squidward on the back of the head) Saying, (imitates Squidward)I hate Krabby  
Patties.(normal voice) That’s hilarious! Everyone loves Krabby Patties.<br>
+
Patties. (normal voice) That's hilarious! Everyone loves Krabby Patties.<br>
  
 
Squidward: Yeah, well, not me.<br>
 
Squidward: Yeah, well, not me.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (silence) You’re good at that. (jumps on top of the window) Hey everyone! Squid says he doesn’t like Krabby  
+
SpongeBob: (silence) You're good at that. (jumps on top of the window) Hey everyone! Squid says he doesn't like Krabby  
 
Patties. Ha! (everyone laughs)<br>
 
Patties. Ha! (everyone laughs)<br>
  
Squidward: Don’t encourage them! They’ll never leave.<br>
+
Squidward: Don't encourage them! They'll never leave.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (starts to grill more patties) Sorry, Squidward, it’s just so funny. You know what we say: (all the customers  
+
SpongeBob: (starts to grill more patties) Sorry, Squidward, it's just so funny. You know what we say: (all the customers  
 
appear in the kitchen)<br>
 
appear in the kitchen)<br>
All: The only people who don’t like a Krabby Patty have never tasted one! (they all disappear)<br>
 
  
Squidward: That’s me. Never had one, never will. (SpongeBob flips a Krabby Patty through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab  
+
All: The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty have never tasted one! (they all disappear)<br>
 +
 
 +
Squidward: That's me. Never had one, never will. (SpongeBob flips a Krabby Patty through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab  
 
after hearing this)<br>
 
after hearing this)<br>
  
Line 59: Line 62:
 
SpongeBob: (cleans out his ears) What? What did you say?<br>
 
SpongeBob: (cleans out his ears) What? What did you say?<br>
  
Squidward: I’ve never had a Krabby Patty and never will.<br>
+
Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty and never will.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I’m sorry... I don’t...<br>
+
SpongeBob: I'm sorry... I don't...<br>
  
Squidward: I’ve never had a Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob puts his glasses on and takes out a dictionary)<br>
+
Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob puts his glasses on and takes out a dictionary)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: Those words. Is it possible to use them in a sentence together like that?<br>
 
SpongeBob: Those words. Is it possible to use them in a sentence together like that?<br>
  
Squidward: I’ve never had a Krabby Patty! I’ve never had a Krabby Patty! I’ve never had a Krabby Patty!<br>
+
Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty!<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: (takes off his glasses and throws away the dictionary) Never had a Krabby Patty? Well, you’ve got to have one  
 
SpongeBob: (takes off his glasses and throws away the dictionary) Never had a Krabby Patty? Well, you’ve got to have one  
right now! (runs out of the kitchen holding a Krabby Patty) No wonder you’re always so miserable! Here, try this.<br>
+
right now! (runs out of the kitchen holding a Wormy) No wonder you're always so miserable! Here, try this.<br>
  
Squidward: (slaps the patty out of SpongeBob’s hand) Get that garbage outta my face! (SpongeBob runs off and brings it back)
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Squidward: (slaps the wormy out of SpongeBob’s hand) Get that toy outta my face! (SpongeBob runs off and brings it back)
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
SpongeBob: If you try it, you’ll love it!<br>
+
SpongeBob: If you try it, you'll love it!<br>
  
Squidward: Try one of those radioactive sludge balls you call food? Next I suppose you’ll want me to go square-dancing with  
+
Squidward: Try one of those radioactive sludge balls you call food? Next I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with  
Patrick. (pan over to Patrick dresses as a cowboy, standing next to SpongeBob)<br>
+
Patrick?! (pan over to Patrick dressed as a cowboy, standing next to him)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Sorry, Patrick. (Patrick sighs and walks off. SpongeBob tries to give Squidward the patty again)  
 
SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Sorry, Patrick. (Patrick sighs and walks off. SpongeBob tries to give Squidward the patty again)  
Come on, you’re gonna...<br>
+
Come on, you're gonna--<br>
  
 
Squidward: (pushes the patty away) No.<br>
 
Squidward: (pushes the patty away) No.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Open up the tunnel, here comes the train. Choo-choo... (Squidward slaps it away)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Open up the tunnel, here comes the train. Choo-choo-- (Squidward slaps it away)<br>
  
 
Squidward: No!<br>
 
Squidward: No!<br>
  
SpongeBob: (reaches behind Squidward's ear) Whoop! What’s that in your ear? (pulls out a patty)<br>
+
SpongeBob: (reaches behind Squidward's ear) Whoop! What's that in your ear? (pulls out a patty)<br>
  
 
Squidward: Quit it.<br>
 
Squidward: Quit it.<br>
Line 96: Line 99:
  
 
Squidward: SpongeBob, if I were trapped at the bottom of a well for three years with nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty,  
 
Squidward: SpongeBob, if I were trapped at the bottom of a well for three years with nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty,  
I’d eat my own legs first! (walks out from behind the counter) And not just the extra ones. (walks off as SpongeBob follows)
+
I'd eat my own legs first! (walks out from behind the counter) And not just the extra ones. (walks off as SpongeBob follows)
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
SpongeBob: But it’s good for you!<br>
+
SpongeBob: But it's good for you!<br>
  
Squidward: (turns around) Good for you? That thing is a heart attack on a bun!<br>
+
Squidward: (turns around) Good for me? That thing is a heart attack on a bun!<br>
  
SpongeBob: No, Squidward, I meant… good for your soul. (background turns to clouds and SpongeBob wearing wings and a halo)
+
SpongeBob: No, Squidward, I meant… good for your soul. (background turns to heaven and flying doves and SpongeBob wearing wings and a halo)
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
Squidward: Oh, puh-leez! I have no soul. (background turns to fire and evil laughter is heard. Squidward walks off)<br>
+
Squidward: Oh, puh-lease! I have no soul. (background turns to fire and flying bats and evil laughter are heard. Squidward walks off)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: Okay, just half.<br>
 
SpongeBob: Okay, just half.<br>
  
Squidward: No.<br>
+
Squidward: No!<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: A quarter?<br>
 
SpongeBob: A quarter?<br>
  
Squidward: No.<br>
+
Squidward: No!<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: One bite?<br>
 
SpongeBob: One bite?<br>
  
Squidward: No. (Squidward enters the bathroom. When he opens a stall door, SpongeBob shows him the patty)<br>
+
Squidward: No! (Squidward enters the bathroom. When he opens a stall door, SpongeBob shows him the patty)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: Just smell it.<br>
 
SpongeBob: Just smell it.<br>
  
Squidward: If I didn’t want it out there, what makes you think I’d find it more appealing in here? (slams the door. Cut to  
+
Squidward: If I didn't want it out there, what makes you think I'd find it more appealing in here? (slams the door. Cut to  
Squidward washing dishes. SpongeBob rises up, covered with pink bubble in the sink, holding a Krabby Patty in his hand)<br>
+
Squidward washing dishes. SpongeBob rises up, made with pink bubble in the sink, holding a Krabby Patty in his hand)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward.<br>
 
SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward.<br>
  
Squidward: No. (all the bubbles pop. Cut to Squidward putting money in the register. SpongeBob pops out of the register  
+
Squidward: No! (all the bubbles pop, also the patty. Cut to Squidward putting money in the register. SpongeBob pops out of the register  
 
with coins on his head and eyes)<br>
 
with coins on his head and eyes)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: One bite.<br>
 
SpongeBob: One bite.<br>
  
Squidward: No. (cash drawer shuts. Cut to Squidward taking out the trash. SpongeBob pops up from inside the trashcan, covered in fruit and trash)<br>
+
Squidward: No! (cash drawer shuts. Cut to Squidward taking out the trash. SpongeBob pops up from inside the trashcan, made with fruit and trash)<br>
  
SpongeBob: You won’t be sorry.<br>
+
SpongeBob: You won't be sorry.<br>
  
 
Squidward: (throws the garbage bag in the trash can) No! (turns around and sees SpongeBob)<br>
 
Squidward: (throws the garbage bag in the trash can) No! (turns around and sees SpongeBob)<br>
  
SpongeBob: It’s delicious...<br>
+
SpongeBob: It's delicious...<br>
  
 
Squidward: Listen, SpongeBob, how long are you prepared to keep this up? (SpongeBob handcuffs himself to Squidward.  
 
Squidward: Listen, SpongeBob, how long are you prepared to keep this up? (SpongeBob handcuffs himself to Squidward.  
Squidward takes the patty) Give me that! When I die...you stay away from my funeral. (looks at the patty) Ohh... do I  
+
 
really...<br>
+
Squidward takes the patty) Give me that! When I die, you stay away from my funeral. (looks at the patty) Oh... do I  
 +
really?<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: Ah… (Squidward stretches his mouth) Ooh... (Squidward takes a tiny bite of the Krabby Patty and smiles.  
 
SpongeBob: Ah… (Squidward stretches his mouth) Ooh... (Squidward takes a tiny bite of the Krabby Patty and smiles.  
SpongeBob’s eyes turn into hearts)<br>
+
SpongeBob's eyes turn into hearts)<br>
  
Squidward: Why... this Krabby Patty may be the most... Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared! Vile! (SpongeBob’s eyes turn into  
+
Squidward: Why... this Krabby Patty may be the most... (suddenly angry) Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared! Vile! (SpongeBob's eyes turn into atomic explosions) Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich it has ever been my displeasure to have slithered down my  
atomic explosions) Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich it has ever been my displeasure to have slither down my  
+
 
throat!<br>
 
throat!<br>
  
SpongeBob: But...<br>
+
SpongeBob: But--<br>
  
 
Squidward: (throws the patty on the ground) And I curse this Krabby Patty and all who enjoy them to an early and well-
 
Squidward: (throws the patty on the ground) And I curse this Krabby Patty and all who enjoy them to an early and well-
 
deserved grave! (puts a tombstone on top of the patty with 'R.I.P.' and a picture of a patty on it) Get it?<br>
 
deserved grave! (puts a tombstone on top of the patty with 'R.I.P.' and a picture of a patty on it) Get it?<br>
  
SpongeBob: But it doesn’t make any sense. The Krabby Patty is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.<br>
+
SpongeBob: But it doesn't make any sense. The Krabby Patty is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.<br>
  
 
Squidward: Nobody but me.<br>
 
Squidward: Nobody but me.<br>
Line 166: Line 169:
 
SpongeBob: No.<br>
 
SpongeBob: No.<br>
  
Squidward: Good! Now go spread the word. (SpongeBob walks back into the Krusty Krab. When he shuts the door, Squidward  
+
Squidward: Good. Now go spread the word. (SpongeBob walks back into the Krusty Krab. When he shuts the door, Squidward  
 
gasps and digs for the Krabby Patty) Come on! Come on! Come on! (holds up the Krabby Patty covered in sand) Ah... still  
 
gasps and digs for the Krabby Patty) Come on! Come on! Come on! (holds up the Krabby Patty covered in sand) Ah... still  
alive! (shoves the whole thing in his mouth) Oh, so delicious! (cries) Oh...! All the wasted years...! (licks the ground) I  
+
alive! (shoves the whole thing in his mouth) Oh, so delicious! (cries) Oh! All the wasted years! (licks the ground) I  
gotta have more. I gotta have more! (runs to the back of the Krusty Krab and is about to open the door but doesn't) But  
+
gotta have more! I gotta have more! (runs to the back of the Krusty Krab and is about to open the door but doesn't) But  
 
wait! (stands by the window. His eyes float over to the side of his face looking at SpongeBob grilling) After that  
 
wait! (stands by the window. His eyes float over to the side of his face looking at SpongeBob grilling) After that  
performance, he’d never let me live it down! I gotta sneak one. Just one, then I’m off the stuff for good!<br>
+
performance, he'd never let me live it down! I gotta sneak one. Just one, then I'm off the stuff for good!<br>
  
SpongeBob: I didn’t think it was possible, but I guess some people just don’t like Krabby Patties. (flips one in the air.  
+
SpongeBob: I didn't think it was possible, but I guess some people just don't like Krabby Patties. (flips one in the air.  
Squidward peaks through the window)<br>
+
Squidward peeks through the window)<br>
  
 
Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br>
 
Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br>
Line 180: Line 183:
 
SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?<br>
 
SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?<br>
  
Squidward: I need a Triple Krabby Supreme on a kelp bun, (gets more excited) with extra sea pickle and, and burn it to a  
+
Squidward: I need a Triple Krabby Supreme on a kelp bun, (gets more excited) with extra sea pickle and, and burn it to a crisp, okay?<br>
crisp, okay?<br>
+
  
 
SpongeBob: Coming right up! (flips the patties again) Listen, Squidward. I want to apologize for before. I was only trying  
 
SpongeBob: Coming right up! (flips the patties again) Listen, Squidward. I want to apologize for before. I was only trying  
Line 188: Line 190:
 
steam from the patties forms a figure and it kisses Squidward's nose then disappears)<br>
 
steam from the patties forms a figure and it kisses Squidward's nose then disappears)<br>
  
Squidward: Don’t go.<br>
+
Squidward: Don't go.<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: While I strongly disagree with your decision, I accept it. (SpongeBob holds up the Krabby Patty. Squidward tries  
 
SpongeBob: While I strongly disagree with your decision, I accept it. (SpongeBob holds up the Krabby Patty. Squidward tries  
to take a bite but SpongeBob takes it away and Squidward's face goes into the grill) You know, it’s not often I get to make  
+
to take a bite but SpongeBob takes it away and Squidward's face goes into the grill) You know, it's not often I get to make  
 
one like this. I want to see the look on their face when they take that first bite. (walks off. Squidward looks up with a  
 
one like this. I want to see the look on their face when they take that first bite. (walks off. Squidward looks up with a  
 
burnt face. SpongeBob walks out of the kitchen) Triple Krabby Supreme! Triple Krabby Supreme! Did someone order a Triple  
 
burnt face. SpongeBob walks out of the kitchen) Triple Krabby Supreme! Triple Krabby Supreme! Did someone order a Triple  
 
Krabby Supreme? Huh? They must have left.<br>
 
Krabby Supreme? Huh? They must have left.<br>
  
Squidward: Well, uh, why don’t you just, uh, leave it out here in case they come back.<br>
+
Squidward: Well, uh, why don't you just, uh, leave it out here in case they come back.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Nope, a patty this special should be eaten fresh, and... well... I haven’t had one of these babies in over twenty minutes so... (eats the whole patty in one bite. Squidward gasps) Well, whoever they were, they had great taste! (Squid groans and chatters then starts to cry) Ah, they don’t know what they’re missing. Well, back to work. (walks back into the kitchen)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Nope, a patty this special should be eaten fresh, and... well, I haven't had one of these babies in over twenty minutes so... (eats the whole patty in one bite. Squidward gasps) Well, whoever they were, they had great taste! (Squidward groans and chatters then starts to cry) Ah, they don't know what they're missing. Well, back to work. (walks back into the kitchen)<br>
  
Squidward: What do I have to do? Eat one out of the garbage? (a fish with a big belly walks up to the trash can with a  
+
Squidward: What do I have to do? Eat one out of the garbage? (Frank with a big belly walks up to the trash can with a  
 
partially eaten Krabby Patty)<br>
 
partially eaten Krabby Patty)<br>
  
Fish: I wish I could eat this, but I’m so darn full. Oh well. (drops the patty in the garbage)<br>
+
Frank: I wish I could eat this, but I'm so darn full. Oh well. (drops the patty in the garbage)<br>
  
Squidward: I had to say garbage... but okay! (runs to the garbage can. Inhales deeply and eats everything in the garbage
+
Squidward: I had to say garbage, but okay! (runs to the trash can. Inhales deeply and eats everything in the trash
 
can. When he lifts up his head, the Krabby Patty is the only thing left in the garbage. He spits out what's in his mouth  
 
can. When he lifts up his head, the Krabby Patty is the only thing left in the garbage. He spits out what's in his mouth  
 
and grabs the Krabby Patty. SpongeBob runs over and grabs it out of his hand)<br>
 
and grabs the Krabby Patty. SpongeBob runs over and grabs it out of his hand)<br>
  
Spongebob: Oh no, what’s this doing here? This patty should be cremated! (runs to the furnace and throws it in and cries.  
+
SpongeBob: Oh no, what's this doing here? This patty should be cremated! (runs to the furnace and throws it in and cries.  
Squidward walks up) I know you didn’t like him, but it means so much that you came. (runs off as Squidward starts crying.  
+
Squidward walks up) I know you didn't like him, but it means so much that you came. (runs off as Squidward starts crying. Cut to nighttime where Squidward is sitting in his chair, still crying, when there is a knock on the door. Squidward  
Cut to nighttime where Squidward is sitting in his chair, still crying, when there is a knock on the door. Squidward  
+
 
answers it and it's a giant Krabby Patty. Squidward kisses it and sighs. Cut to Squidward having dinner with the patty,  
 
answers it and it's a giant Krabby Patty. Squidward kisses it and sighs. Cut to Squidward having dinner with the patty,  
 
marrying the patty, having a kid with the patty, and growing old with it. Dream sequence ends)<br>
 
marrying the patty, having a kid with the patty, and growing old with it. Dream sequence ends)<br>
  
Squidward: Honey? (wakes up) What? Oh... I have got to get my hands on a Krabby Patty! And no one’s gonna stop me. (runs  
+
Squidward: Honey? (wakes up) What? Oh... I have got to get my hands on a Krabby Patty! And no one's gonna stop me! (runs  
out of his house, panting, but tip-toes past SpongeBob’s house, then pants some more to the Krusty Krab) There it is!
+
out of his house, panting, but tip-toes past SpongeBob's house, then pants some more to the Krusty Krab) There it is. (Squidward is looking at the patty vault in the back of the restaurant. He walks up to it and opens it) Holy shrimp! (inside are piles of Krabby Patties are inside the vault) I don't know where to start. (picks up a patty) All that matters is  
(Squidward is looking at the Patty Vault in the back of the restaurant. He walks up to it and opens it) Holy shrimp!  
+
that it's just you... and me... and nobody--<br>
(inside are piles of Krabby Patties are inside the vault) I don’t know where to start. (picks up a patty) All that matters is  
+
that it’s just you... and me... and nobody...<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Squidward? (Squidward’s face drops) Is that you?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Squidward? (Squidward's face drops) Is that you?<br>
  
 
Squidward: (turns around) SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here? (points at SpongeBob. While pointing at him, he  
 
Squidward: (turns around) SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here? (points at SpongeBob. While pointing at him, he  
 
notices he's showing the patty in his hand and puts it behind his back again)<br>
 
notices he's showing the patty in his hand and puts it behind his back again)<br>
  
SpongeBob: I always come to work at three a.m. This is when I count the sesame seeds. (takes off his green hat) What are  
+
SpongeBob: I always come to work at 3 a.m. This is when I count the sesame seeds. (takes off his green hat, reveals his Krusty Krab hat) What are  
 
you doing here?<br>
 
you doing here?<br>
  
Squidward: Uhh, I forgot my...<br>
+
Squidward: Uhh, I forgot my--<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: And why is the patty vault open?<br>
 
SpongeBob: And why is the patty vault open?<br>
  
Squidward: Oh, I thought that...<br>
+
Squidward: Oh, I thought that--<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: And why are you holding a patty behind your back?<br>
 
SpongeBob: And why are you holding a patty behind your back?<br>
Line 239: Line 238:
 
Squidward: I... I... I... no, I didn’t do...<br>
 
Squidward: I... I... I... no, I didn’t do...<br>
  
SpongeBob: And why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so hungry? And...
+
SpongeBob: And why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so hungry? And--
(grins)<br>
+
(SpongeBob grins)<br>
  
Squidward: No, wait... it’s not what you think. Th-this is a big misunderstanding. You’ve got to believe me, I... Listen, I  
+
Squidward: No, wait... it's not what you think. Th-this is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I... Listen, I  
 
am telling you... (jumps up and down) You better listen to me, SpongeBob!<br>
 
am telling you... (jumps up and down) You better listen to me, SpongeBob!<br>
  
SpongeBob: You like Krabby Patties, don’t you, Squidward? (Squidward begins to sweat then slams the door on SpongeBob)
+
SpongeBob: You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward? (Squidward begins to sweat then slams the door on SpongeBob)
  
 
Squidward: Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob! I love Krabby Patties! (eats two patties)<br>
 
Squidward: Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob! I love Krabby Patties! (eats two patties)<br>
  
 
SpongeBob: I knew it all along, Squidward. No one can resist a Krabby Patty. (Squidward eats a bunch of Krabby Patties in  
 
SpongeBob: I knew it all along, Squidward. No one can resist a Krabby Patty. (Squidward eats a bunch of Krabby Patties in  
all sorts of ways, even a dozen at a time) Squidward! How many are you eating? Squidward! (Squidward keeps eating all the  
+
all sorts of ways, even a dozen at a time) Squidward! How many are you eating? Squidward! (Squidward continues eating all the  
Krabby Patties in the vault) Squidward, you can’t eat all those patties at one time! Squidward!<br>
+
Krabby Patties in the vault) Squidward, you can't eat all those patties at one time! Squidward!<br>
  
Squidward: What’s gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?<br>
+
Squidward: What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?<br>
  
SpongeBob: No, worse, it’ll go right to your thighs!<br>
+
SpongeBob: No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs!<br>
  
Squidward: My thighs? (pan down showing Squidward’s enlarged thighs)<br>
+
Squidward: My thighs? (pan down showing Squidward’s huge thighs)<br>
  
SpongeBob: ...and then you’ll blow up. (Krusty Krab explodes. Squidward’s head is sitting on the ambulance's bench while  
+
SpongeBob: ...and then you'll blow up. (Krusty Krab explodes with a BOOM! Squidward’s head is sitting on the ambulance's bench while  
 
his legs are in a bucket)<br>
 
his legs are in a bucket)<br>
  
 
Paramedic: (laughs) Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.
 
Paramedic: (laughs) Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.
  
 +
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
 
{{Slogan}}
 

Revision as of 23:44, 11 September 2021

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My Pretty Seahorse The Bully

Episode Article: Just One Bite

Characters

Dialogue

Squidward: (hands a customer his tray of food) Here you go, sir. A King Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works, double batter fried on a stick. (puts a stick into the food)

Harold: Thanks! (walks off)

Squidward: Barnacle head. (Harold comes back)

Harold: Pardon me?

Squidward: (holds up a mayonnaise bottle) You forgot your mayonnaise. (sets it on Harold's tray)

Harold: Thanks. (walks off and sits at his table)

Squidward: Look at them eating that garbage. (Harold bites into his food and squirts mayonnaise into his mouth) It's disgusting. They're sickening. I hate Krabby Patties.

SpongeBob: (laughing from the kitchen window) Good one, Squidward.

Squidward: Good what?

SpongeBob: Like you don't know. (hits Squidward on the back of the head) Saying, (imitates Squidward)I hate Krabby Patties. (normal voice) That's hilarious! Everyone loves Krabby Patties.

Squidward: Yeah, well, not me.

SpongeBob: (silence) You're good at that. (jumps on top of the window) Hey everyone! Squid says he doesn't like Krabby Patties. Ha! (everyone laughs)

Squidward: Don't encourage them! They'll never leave.

SpongeBob: (starts to grill more patties) Sorry, Squidward, it's just so funny. You know what we say: (all the customers appear in the kitchen)

All: The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty have never tasted one! (they all disappear)

Squidward: That's me. Never had one, never will. (SpongeBob flips a Krabby Patty through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab after hearing this)

SpongeBob: What?

Squidward: What?

SpongeBob: (cleans out his ears) What? What did you say?

Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty and never will.

SpongeBob: I'm sorry... I don't...

Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob puts his glasses on and takes out a dictionary)

SpongeBob: Those words. Is it possible to use them in a sentence together like that?

Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty!

SpongeBob: (takes off his glasses and throws away the dictionary) Never had a Krabby Patty? Well, you’ve got to have one right now! (runs out of the kitchen holding a Wormy) No wonder you're always so miserable! Here, try this.

Squidward: (slaps the wormy out of SpongeBob’s hand) Get that toy outta my face! (SpongeBob runs off and brings it back)

SpongeBob: If you try it, you'll love it!

Squidward: Try one of those radioactive sludge balls you call food? Next I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with Patrick?! (pan over to Patrick dressed as a cowboy, standing next to him)

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Sorry, Patrick. (Patrick sighs and walks off. SpongeBob tries to give Squidward the patty again) Come on, you're gonna--

Squidward: (pushes the patty away) No.

SpongeBob: Open up the tunnel, here comes the train. Choo-choo-- (Squidward slaps it away)

Squidward: No!

SpongeBob: (reaches behind Squidward's ear) Whoop! What's that in your ear? (pulls out a patty)

Squidward: Quit it.

SpongeBob: Come on, open wide!

Squidward: SpongeBob, if I were trapped at the bottom of a well for three years with nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty, I'd eat my own legs first! (walks out from behind the counter) And not just the extra ones. (walks off as SpongeBob follows)

SpongeBob: But it's good for you!

Squidward: (turns around) Good for me? That thing is a heart attack on a bun!

SpongeBob: No, Squidward, I meant… good for your soul. (background turns to heaven and flying doves and SpongeBob wearing wings and a halo)

Squidward: Oh, puh-lease! I have no soul. (background turns to fire and flying bats and evil laughter are heard. Squidward walks off)

SpongeBob: Okay, just half.

Squidward: No!

SpongeBob: A quarter?

Squidward: No!

SpongeBob: One bite?

Squidward: No! (Squidward enters the bathroom. When he opens a stall door, SpongeBob shows him the patty)

SpongeBob: Just smell it.

Squidward: If I didn't want it out there, what makes you think I'd find it more appealing in here? (slams the door. Cut to Squidward washing dishes. SpongeBob rises up, made with pink bubble in the sink, holding a Krabby Patty in his hand)

SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward.

Squidward: No! (all the bubbles pop, also the patty. Cut to Squidward putting money in the register. SpongeBob pops out of the register with coins on his head and eyes)

SpongeBob: One bite.

Squidward: No! (cash drawer shuts. Cut to Squidward taking out the trash. SpongeBob pops up from inside the trashcan, made with fruit and trash)

SpongeBob: You won't be sorry.

Squidward: (throws the garbage bag in the trash can) No! (turns around and sees SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: It's delicious...

Squidward: Listen, SpongeBob, how long are you prepared to keep this up? (SpongeBob handcuffs himself to Squidward.

Squidward takes the patty) Give me that! When I die, you stay away from my funeral. (looks at the patty) Oh... do I really?

SpongeBob: Ah… (Squidward stretches his mouth) Ooh... (Squidward takes a tiny bite of the Krabby Patty and smiles. SpongeBob's eyes turn into hearts)

Squidward: Why... this Krabby Patty may be the most... (suddenly angry) Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared! Vile! (SpongeBob's eyes turn into atomic explosions) Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich it has ever been my displeasure to have slithered down my throat!

SpongeBob: But--

Squidward: (throws the patty on the ground) And I curse this Krabby Patty and all who enjoy them to an early and well- deserved grave! (puts a tombstone on top of the patty with 'R.I.P.' and a picture of a patty on it) Get it?

SpongeBob: But it doesn't make any sense. The Krabby Patty is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.

Squidward: Nobody but me.

SpongeBob: Are you sure?

Squidward: Does this look unsure to you? (close-up of Squidward's wrinkly face)

SpongeBob: No.

Squidward: Good. Now go spread the word. (SpongeBob walks back into the Krusty Krab. When he shuts the door, Squidward gasps and digs for the Krabby Patty) Come on! Come on! Come on! (holds up the Krabby Patty covered in sand) Ah... still alive! (shoves the whole thing in his mouth) Oh, so delicious! (cries) Oh! All the wasted years! (licks the ground) I gotta have more! I gotta have more! (runs to the back of the Krusty Krab and is about to open the door but doesn't) But wait! (stands by the window. His eyes float over to the side of his face looking at SpongeBob grilling) After that performance, he'd never let me live it down! I gotta sneak one. Just one, then I'm off the stuff for good!

SpongeBob: I didn't think it was possible, but I guess some people just don't like Krabby Patties. (flips one in the air. Squidward peeks through the window)

Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?

Squidward: I need a Triple Krabby Supreme on a kelp bun, (gets more excited) with extra sea pickle and, and burn it to a crisp, okay?

SpongeBob: Coming right up! (flips the patties again) Listen, Squidward. I want to apologize for before. I was only trying to make you happy. (Squidward moans and groans. His eyes turn into the patties and flip as they do) ...but not I've learned there's room for all kinds of people... (Squidward licks his lips) ...and they all don't have to like the same things. (the steam from the patties forms a figure and it kisses Squidward's nose then disappears)

Squidward: Don't go.

SpongeBob: While I strongly disagree with your decision, I accept it. (SpongeBob holds up the Krabby Patty. Squidward tries to take a bite but SpongeBob takes it away and Squidward's face goes into the grill) You know, it's not often I get to make one like this. I want to see the look on their face when they take that first bite. (walks off. Squidward looks up with a burnt face. SpongeBob walks out of the kitchen) Triple Krabby Supreme! Triple Krabby Supreme! Did someone order a Triple Krabby Supreme? Huh? They must have left.

Squidward: Well, uh, why don't you just, uh, leave it out here in case they come back.

SpongeBob: Nope, a patty this special should be eaten fresh, and... well, I haven't had one of these babies in over twenty minutes so... (eats the whole patty in one bite. Squidward gasps) Well, whoever they were, they had great taste! (Squidward groans and chatters then starts to cry) Ah, they don't know what they're missing. Well, back to work. (walks back into the kitchen)

Squidward: What do I have to do? Eat one out of the garbage? (Frank with a big belly walks up to the trash can with a partially eaten Krabby Patty)

Frank: I wish I could eat this, but I'm so darn full. Oh well. (drops the patty in the garbage)

Squidward: I had to say garbage, but okay! (runs to the trash can. Inhales deeply and eats everything in the trash can. When he lifts up his head, the Krabby Patty is the only thing left in the garbage. He spits out what's in his mouth and grabs the Krabby Patty. SpongeBob runs over and grabs it out of his hand)

SpongeBob: Oh no, what's this doing here? This patty should be cremated! (runs to the furnace and throws it in and cries. Squidward walks up) I know you didn't like him, but it means so much that you came. (runs off as Squidward starts crying. Cut to nighttime where Squidward is sitting in his chair, still crying, when there is a knock on the door. Squidward answers it and it's a giant Krabby Patty. Squidward kisses it and sighs. Cut to Squidward having dinner with the patty, marrying the patty, having a kid with the patty, and growing old with it. Dream sequence ends)

Squidward: Honey? (wakes up) What? Oh... I have got to get my hands on a Krabby Patty! And no one's gonna stop me! (runs out of his house, panting, but tip-toes past SpongeBob's house, then pants some more to the Krusty Krab) There it is. (Squidward is looking at the patty vault in the back of the restaurant. He walks up to it and opens it) Holy shrimp! (inside are piles of Krabby Patties are inside the vault) I don't know where to start. (picks up a patty) All that matters is that it's just you... and me... and nobody--

SpongeBob: Squidward? (Squidward's face drops) Is that you?

Squidward: (turns around) SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here? (points at SpongeBob. While pointing at him, he notices he's showing the patty in his hand and puts it behind his back again)

SpongeBob: I always come to work at 3 a.m. This is when I count the sesame seeds. (takes off his green hat, reveals his Krusty Krab hat) What are you doing here?

Squidward: Uhh, I forgot my--

SpongeBob: And why is the patty vault open?

Squidward: Oh, I thought that--

SpongeBob: And why are you holding a patty behind your back?

Squidward: I... I... I... no, I didn’t do...

SpongeBob: And why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so hungry? And-- (SpongeBob grins)

Squidward: No, wait... it's not what you think. Th-this is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I... Listen, I am telling you... (jumps up and down) You better listen to me, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward? (Squidward begins to sweat then slams the door on SpongeBob)

Squidward: Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob! I love Krabby Patties! (eats two patties)

SpongeBob: I knew it all along, Squidward. No one can resist a Krabby Patty. (Squidward eats a bunch of Krabby Patties in all sorts of ways, even a dozen at a time) Squidward! How many are you eating? Squidward! (Squidward continues eating all the Krabby Patties in the vault) Squidward, you can't eat all those patties at one time! Squidward!

Squidward: What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?

SpongeBob: No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs!

Squidward: My thighs? (pan down showing Squidward’s huge thighs)

SpongeBob: ...and then you'll blow up. (Krusty Krab explodes with a BOOM! Squidward’s head is sitting on the ambulance's bench while his legs are in a bucket)

Paramedic: (laughs) Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
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Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
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