Episode Transcript: I ♥ Dancing
Chapter 1 - Who Put You On the Planet?
(Scene zooms in on Squidward's house. Door opens, Squidward appears).
Squidward:"The coast looks clear..."
(Steps outside, and closes the door to his house, and standing in front of it with his hands over it as if he does not want anyone to see him.)
(Tiptoes away... down the road...)
(Walks by SpongeBob's pineapple house just as it opens.)
(Squidward grunts and keeps walking down the street.)
(Spongebob starts jogging toward Squidward and stops right in front of him.) (Squidward stops walking.)
(Spongebob raises his hand in the air and twirls around. He starts tapping his feet. He points near Squidward's forehead, and in the other derection as he turns around)
Spongebob: Today I feel like doing some dancing!
(He points down, and then points to Squidward as the music stops.) Squidward: That's funny. Even a barnacle knows you need music to dance.
(SpongeBob puts his finger up to his mouth and starts shaking his butt side to side.) Spongebob: Oh-ho-ho, I got music, friend... (Spongebob runs up to Squidward) Spongebob: ...In my mind!" (Spongebob takes out his brain.Musical notes come out of it, rock music plays. SpongeBob turns a dial, and banjo country-style music comes out of it. He turns it again, and acoustic ballad music plays)
(Scene goes back to SpongeBob, still holding his brain up out of his head) Spongebob: Oh, I love this song! (Spongebob throws his brain up into the air, and runs away. He takes off his hat with a funny face, and his brain lands back into his head.Spongebob rubs his hand together.) Spongebob: Here I go!
(Spongebob starts walking back and fourth and waving his floppy arms mysteriously, with a face as if he is sleepwalking. Maracas join the music.Spongebob turns, and starts moving his legs forward and in back of each other.)
Squidward: That is the most stupidest dance move I've ever seen! (SpongeBob huffs and makes a face not like any other to this reaction.) Spongebob: Who put you on the planet? (Spongebob breathes heavily)
(The scene goes back to Squidward still walking toward the Krusty Krab, but SpongeBob is walking backwards behind him with a cheerful face.)
Chapter 2 - Dazzle-Dazzle-Dazzle
SpongeBob then lifts his leg, and uses his spatula to pick up six patties, and then hops on the wall.
He flies up the wall, onto the ceiling, and the gravity forces down the patties onto one big plate with six smaller plates on it, but the patties all land on the same plate.
Then, the patties all bounce onto the plate they should be on.
SpongeBob walks over to the plate with his hands over his pants as if he has to pee, then he lifts his arm, then his other in a pattern, then twirls around.
When he stops, the top buns are on his back. They all fly off, and onto the patties one at a time.
The door swings open, and SpongeBob with a smile holds up all six krabby patties in one hand (with Squidward still watching).
Then, he throws the patties up into the air, and starts whistling, walking backwards right then left, then stops when the patties all fly on Squidward's head.
Spongebob's hands are up in the air when one grabs the giant plate. Then, he runs away skipping, varrying the plate with one hand again.
A scene from the cash register-boat is seen with Squidward's face flat, and then he moans.
SpongeBob points to the ground closing his eyes, twirling the plate on one finger.
Then, a close-up scene of the plate appears, and all the krabby patties fly of the big plate, still on their little ones all to the right customers.
A gag appears: A customer recieves his patty, a drink, some french fires, a sandwich on french bread, and then the pizza from Pizza Delivery appears and lands on top of the table covering everything else.
He sticks his tongue out like a dog getting ready to eat it, but a knight falls on it. Then, the entire table collapses.
SpongeBob is now seen in front of the door. He is still twirling the plate around on one finger, then he twirls himself around, and he starts to float in the air.
He lands in front of another customer's table, and all that is left on the plate is one krabby patty.
He starts sliding left, then he slides right, and gallops like a (sea)horse, and jump ropes over the patty once, and falls down.
SpongeBob gets back up, ansd starts moving his legs, and takes his hat off, holding the plate in the other hand.
He then holds the patty with two hands for a quick second, and the area where his neck is splits in half marked by the top of his shirt, and the patty slips through the opening.
Then, he does that again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and then he jumps up, and uses the patty like a rope to swing back to where he was before in front of the table.
He then smiles, and bows causing the patty to slide off of the giant plate, and onto the table.
Both the customer and SpongeBob smiles as SpongeBob alone says, "your krabby patty, ma'am."
Then, he raises the plate and says "now eat it, swallow it, and chew it down!"
Then the customer says as SpongeBob walks away, "Oh, thank you very much, darling. And your dance moves are really cool, too."
SpongeBob's head then flexes back and asks, "Really?" and he runs back to the customer.
"You like my dancin'?" SpongeBob asks.
The customer replies back holding a remote with an attena coming out of it, "that's right, kid, you got the dazzle-dazzle-dazzle."
"I love how you did that shuffle into the moonsault, and then backed the landing!"
SpongeBob giggles with another scene on him, "well, that's very nice of you to say" and walks away. SpongeBob stops with a surprised face as the customer says "wait!"
The customer says "I'm not finished speaking words." The next scene of her, she's standing up.
"I'm a high-cast talent agent and I want to invite you to an audition. I am a very talented client who needs a backup dancer and you got what it takes!"
(she gives SpongeBob a card) She says "come down to my dance stuido tomorrow afternoon. You're goin' places, kid." (she walks away).
Chapter 3 - Squidward's Toodilage
(SpongeBob smoving his legs running next to the cash register-boat). An irritated Squidward says "Would you please stop dancing?"
SpongeBob replies, "No, I can't stop dancin' now, Squidward. I have to practice for my big audition tomorrow!" (holds up his card in front of Squidward whose eyes are following it).
Squidward says, "You got a dance audition?" SpongeBob says, "That's right!" (starts moving his feet) "...so I gotta practice as much as I can until tomorrow."
(makes beeping sound running back into the kitchen).
Squidward says, "That idiot got a dance audition? He doesn't know the first thing about suddle intercasies of dance!"
(sighs) "Let him practice 'til he drops! He's gotta make it to that part." (stops, with a mischevious smile)
He says in a sneaky voice, "That's it! He'll just have to practice 'til he drops! when he does, I'll be there all tidied up and ready to show my stuff!"
(Jumps into the kitchen window) "Oh, SpongeBob! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob..." (jumps onto the kitchen ground "...duh, I mean, uh..."
(Squidward's eyelids droop a little, and he says)... "I suppose I could take you under my toodilage, you know, show you a few moves."
SpongeBob says, "Under your toodilage, really, you mean it?"
(SpongeBob's mouth shrinks) Squidward says, "But, you must do exactly as I say. Got that?"
(SpongeBob's eyes grow, and raises his head a little bit) SpongeBob says, "I am dance-putty in your hands!"
Chapter 4 - Flabby Ankles
(This scene appears at Squidward's house, first from the outside, then from the inside).
(Spongebob and Squidward are both on the top floor with dancing outfits on). Squidward is writing on a checkboard saying, "Hm...."
(Squidward walks behind SpongeBob, and pulls his headband, and it snaps right back, with a little flash).
SpongeBob says, "Oh, what are you doing, Squidward?" In which Squidward replies, "Oh, um, just a physical assesment I do with all of my new pupils."
Squidward giggles, and then says, "Yeah, I'd say judging with the condition of those flabby ankles." "Flabby?" SpongeBob asks.
Squidward replies, "That's right. You need some physical conditioning before you ever set foot on the dance partnering. I want you to run to the top of Oyster Peak then back. (points his conductor & tentacle there).
(SpongeBob starts running) SpongeBob says, "Oh, anything to get rid of these flabby ankles of mine."
When SpongeBob leaves, the scene cuts to Squidward's face alone, smiling mischevously, he says "By the time that idiot gets back, he'll be too tired to dance!"
(Squidward starts laughing as a zooming sound sounds, and SpongeBob appears right next to Squidward, but his head is not exactly looking at him).
Squidward drops his checkbaord and pencil and asks SpongeBob as the scene is back to the two of them, "What are you doing here?"
SpongeBob replied with a singsong voice, "I'm back from Mount Oyster!"
Then, he takes a snowglobe out of nowhere and hands it to Squidward. "Here," SpongeBob says.
(The scene moves onto the snowglobe only) SpongeBob keeps talking... "Got this for you at the gift shop" (as always, snow is falling from the snowglobe, and jingle bells are heard).
"Bah!," yells Squidward, taking the snowglobe and throwing it over his shoulder.
Squidward continues talking picking SpongeBob up, "let's move on to our first dance lesson." He carries SpongeBob over to a treadmill.
(Squidward puts him down on the treadmill and points to the treadmill). Squidward says, "I want you to moonwalk on this treadmill while I read this entire novel!"
Squidward walks away, and the treadmill starts working, and SpongeBob starts moonwalking on it.
Squidward is in a library, reading the novel on a blue chair with a purple lamp shining above his head.
(beeping noises)Squidward stands up and says, "Huh? Huh? What, is he still at it?"
Squidward opens the door to the library, and Squidward yells, "Ah!" at a scene of smoke coming out of the treadmill with Spongebob not a sinch tired.
Then, the treadmill explodes at the scene of being on for too long. "My treadmill!," yells Squidward
SpongeBob moves both of his hands out more and says, "You know Squidward, excerzising is fun and all,"
"But when are we gonna learn some dancing?" (Squidward grunts angrily crushing his tentacles). Running gag: When SpongeBob says "when are we gonna learn some dancing," he has a British accent.
(scene is on Squidward only) All right! You wanna learn some dancing?" (Squdiward has a britsh accent when he says that, too).
(He doesn't have a British accent this time) "...I'll show you dancin'!"
(Squidward puts on a record) "You know what, guest people, goneit!" (slaps a ribbon he is holding like a reign) "R-r-r-r-r-ribbon!"