Episode Transcript: Cephalopod Lodge

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Episode Article: [[Cephalopod Lodge]]
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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
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*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Patrick]]
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*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
 
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
* Chief of the society
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*Chief of the society
* Roger
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*Roger
 +
*Little Sock
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*Giant Sock
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
SpongeBob:(singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Loo... (speaking) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?
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'''SpongeBob''': (singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Doo... (stops when he sees Squidward smiling and staring into the distance) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?
 
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Squidward: Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!
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SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! It happened again, Mr. Krabs!
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Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?
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SpongeBob: It's Squidward!
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Squidward: (smiling and staring into the distance)
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SpongeBob: What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?
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Mysterious man: Psst. Squidward?
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Squidward: Roger! Is that you?
+
 
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Mysterious man: Tonight's the big night.
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Squidward: (Gasp!)
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A few hours pass. It is night now.
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SpongeBob: These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is!
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SpongeBob and Patrick: (giggling)
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Squidward: (walks out of his house)
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SpongeBob and Patrick: (dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him.)
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Squidward:(sitting at bus stop. The bus arrives, and Squidward gets in.)
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SpongeBob and Patrick: (hiding under Squidward's bus seat.)
+
 
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The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus.
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Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger.
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Squidward and Brother Roger: (do secret hand-shake)
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Brother Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward.
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Squidward: Thank you.
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Lodge members: (talking)
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Squidward: Ah. This almost makes the other three hundred and fifty-three days worth living for.
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Lodge leader: For centuries, cephalapods have had but one nemisis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Contagarus Moray Eelyus!
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Lodge members: (Gasp!)
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Contagarus Moray Eelyus: Huh?
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New lodge member: (shivering while walking up to the moray eel's cage)
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Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony.
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New lodge member: (shivering)
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Contagarus Moray Eelyus: (stings new lodge member)
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Lodge members: (cheering)
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Brother Roger: (puts lodge hat on new lodge member)
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SpongeBob and Patrick: (clapping)
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SpongeBob: Yeah! Way to go!
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Patrick: Way to go!
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Lodge members: (Gasp!)
+
 
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Lodge leader: (Gasp!)
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SpongeBob and Patrick: (clapping)
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Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! Did you follow me here?
+
 
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Lodge leader: Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have desicrated the sanctity of this lodge!
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Squidward: But...but, I..I...I....
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Squidward and SpongeBob:(get kicked out of lodge)
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Squidward: I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalapod Lodge.
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SpongeBob: Do we get to join the lodge?
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Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
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SpongeBob: Huh! How did you know?
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Squidward: Pshycic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?
+
 
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SpongeBob: Maybe he got to join the lodge!
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Patrick: (falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward)
+
  
SpongeBob: Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?
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'''Squidward''': Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!
  
Patrick: Nah. I found the institution had nothing of to offer me. I was stagnated.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs! (He runs to Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs is stacking his money into a sculpture of himself in his office when suddenly SpongeBob crashes into him destroying it) It happened again, Mr. Krabs!
  
SpongeBob: Hey, where's Squidward?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': What are you talking about?
  
Patrick: Hold on. (shakes right leg. Nothing happens. shakes left leg)
+
'''SpongeBob''': It's Squidward! (Squidward continues to smile and stare into the distance) What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?
  
Squidward: (head pops out of Patrick's shorts)
+
'''Mysterious man''': Psst. Squidward?
  
Patrick: Found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Then, pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head.)
+
'''Squidward''': Roger! Is that you?
  
Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed. And SpongeBob ruined it, too.
+
'''Mysterious man''': Tonight's the big night. (Squidward gasps. Bubble-wipe to night)
  
Patrick: Well, at least you still have the hat.
+
'''SpongeBob''': These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is! (he and Patrick giggle. Squidward walks out of his house. SpongeBob and Patrick dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him to a bus stop. A bus arrives, and Squidward gets in. SpongeBob and Patrick follow and hide under Squidward's bus seat. The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus)
  
Squidward: Yeah. I do, don't I?
+
'''Squidward''': Hello, Brother Roger. (he and Brother Roger do secret hand-shake)
  
Brother Roger: Eh, hem. (takes Squidward's hat)
+
'''Brother Roger''': Come right in, Brother Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: You still have your robes.
+
'''Squidward''': Thank you. (lodge members are talking. Puts on red robes like the other lodge members) Ah. This almost makes the other 353 days worth living for. (a gong chimes. Everyone including Squidward gathers around lodge leader)
  
Brother Roger: (takes Squidward's robes)
+
'''Lodge leader''': For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eelius! (lodge members gasp)
  
Patrick: You still have your underwear.
+
'''Cantankerous Moray Eelius''': Huh? (a new lodge member shivers while walking up to the moray eel's cage)
  
Brother Roger: (takes Sguidaward's underwear)
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'''Squidward''': I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. (new lodge member is shivering. Cantankerous Moray Eeleus stings new lodge member. Lodge members cheer. Brother Roger puts lodge hat on new lodge member. SpongeBob and Patrick clap)
  
Squidward: No!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah! Way to go!
  
SpongeBob: (covers his own eyes and Patrick's)
+
'''Patrick''': Way to go! (all lodge members, including the leader, gasp. SpongeBob and Psatrick are still clapping)
  
Squidward: (pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now.
+
'''Squidward''': (gasps) SpongeBob? Patrick? Did you follow me here? (SpongeBob shakes his head but Patrick nods)
  
SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Paatrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in.
+
'''Lodge leader''': Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have deliberately desecrated the sanctity of this lodge!
  
(knocks on Cephalopod Lodge door)
+
'''Snooty male judge''': Kick him out!
  
Brother Roger: What is it? Oh, it’s you two.
+
'''Squidward''': But...but, I...I...I...I... (he and SpongeBob get kicked out of the cephalopod lodge. Squidward lands with his head stuck in the ground. He flails about wildly and we hear muffled shouting coming from him. SpongeBob pulls him out of the dirt) I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.
  
SpongeBob: We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So, it's not his fault.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Do we get to join the lodge? (Squidward makes a face and SpongeBob smiles)
  
Patrick: Yeah. Not his fault.
+
'''Squidward''': Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
  
Brother Roger: Then who's fault was it?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Huh? How did you know?
  
Patrick: Was it my fault?
+
'''Squidward''': Psychic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?
  
SpongeBob: No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Maybe he got to join the lodge! (Patrick falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward) Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?
  
Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.
+
'''Patrick''': Nah. I found the institution had nothing left to offer me. I was stagnating.
  
Brother Roger: Well, if it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Squidward's fault, who's fault was it?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, where's Squidward at?
  
Patrick: Uh...maybe it's your fault.
+
'''Patrick''': Hold on. (shakes his right leg. Nothing happens, so he shakes his left leg. Squidward's head pops out of Patrick's shorts) I found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head)
  
Brother Roger: Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again!
+
'''Squidward''': The last thing in my life I really enjoyed, and SpongeBob ruined it, too.
  
Squidward: SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!
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'''Patrick''': Well, at least you still have the hat.
  
SpongeBob: No. You can't set foot in the lodge.
+
'''Squidward''': Yeah. I do, don't I?
  
Patrick: Ever!
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'''Brother Roger''': Ahem. (takes Squidward's hat)
  
Squidward: Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life,...I think I'll go slam my head in the door. Repeateatly.
+
'''SpongeBob''': You still have your robes. (Brother Roger takes Squidward's robes off)
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
+
'''Patrick''': You still have your underwear. (Brother Roger takes off Squidward's underwear, leaving him [off-camera] naked)
  
Squidward: No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?
+
'''Squidward''': No! (SpongeBob covers his own eyes and Patrick's. Pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now, you two.
  
SpongeBob: That's it!!! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Wanna join
+
'''SpongeBob''': Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in. (Bubble-wipe to him knocking on Cephalopod Lodge door)
our club, Patrick?
+
  
Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward!
+
'''Brother Roger''': What is it? Oh, it’s you two.
  
Squidward: Aaahhhh! (The three walk back home).
+
'''SpongeBob''': We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So it's not his fault.
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?
+
'''Patrick''': Yeah. Not his fault.
  
Squidward: Say good-bye. (enters his house)
+
'''Brother Roger''': Well, then, whose fault was it?
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Good-bye!
+
'''Patrick''': Was it my fault?
  
Squidward: Morons.
+
'''SpongeBob''': No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.
+
'''Patrick''': Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.
  
Patrick: (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.
+
'''Brother Roger''': Well, if it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Squidward's fault, then whose fault was it?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick and I have come up with a secret hand-shake.
+
'''Patrick''': Uh... maybe it's your fault.
  
Patrick: Secret!
+
'''Brother Roger''': Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again! (slams door)
  
SpongeBob: (claps hands over head)
+
'''Squidward''': SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!
  
 +
'''SpongeBob''': No. You can't set foot in the lodge.
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Patty-cake, patty-cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...
+
'''Patrick''': Ever!
  
Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret hand-shake! Everybody knows Patty-cake!
+
'''Squidward''': Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life... I think I'll go home and slam my head in the door...repeatedly.
  
SpongeBob: Not the way we do it.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
  
Patrick: We don't use our pinkies.
+
'''Squidward''': No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?
  
Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) Out!!!!!!
+
'''SpongeBob''': That's it! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Want to join our club, Patrick?
  
Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.
+
'''Patrick''': Dog-pile on Squidward! (Squidward screams. Bubble-wipe to the three walking back home)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?
  
Squidward: Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.
+
'''Squidward''': Say goodbye. (enters his house)
  
SpongeBob: (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry the bag away.)
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Good-bye!
  
They arrive at Jellyfish Fields.
+
'''Squidward''': Morons.
  
SpongeBob: Okay, we can let him out now.
+
'''SpongeBob''': (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.
  
Squidward: Are you insane? You kidnapped me?
+
'''Patrick''': (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick and I have come up with a secret handshake.
  
Patrick: Initiation.
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'''Patrick''': Secret! (SpongeBob claps his hands over his head)
  
Squidward: What? What kind of initiation?
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'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Patty cake, patty cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...
  
SpongeBob: A very special initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)
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'''Squidward''': SpongeBob! That's not a secret handshake! Everyone knows Patty Cake!
  
Squidward: Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run.
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'''SpongeBob''': Not the way we do it.
  
Patrick: (smashes Squidward to the ground)
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'''Patrick''': We don't use our pinkies.
  
SpongeBob: Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?
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'''Squidward''': (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) '''''OUT!'''''
  
Patrick: After you, Brother SpongeBob.
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'''Patrick''': I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.
  
SpongeBob: (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tounge) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ow! Brother Patrick.
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)
  
Patrick: Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tounge) Aaahhhh! Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tounge and puts the jellyfish on it)
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.
  
Squidward: (jumps into the air) Eee-aahhhhhhh!
+
'''SpongeBob''': (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (he and Patrick carry the bag away. Bubble-wipe to a while later. They arrive at Jellyfish Fields)
  
The next morning, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Okay, we can let him out now.
  
Unknown person: (knocks on Squidward's door)
+
'''Squidward''': Are you insane? You kidnapped me?
  
Squidward: What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (He comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (giggling. They are in chicken suits, too.)
+
'''Patrick''': Initiation.
  
SpongeBob: They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of...the Feather Friends.
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'''Squidward''': What? What kind of initiation?
  
Squidward: Feather Friends?
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'''SpongeBob''': A very ''special'' initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)
  
SpongeBob: Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
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'''Squidward''': Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run. (Patrick smashes Squidward to the ground so he can't leave)
  
Patrick: Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.
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'''SpongeBob''': Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?
  
Squidward: Grrrr. (rips his chicken suit in half) I don't want to be a Feather Buddy!!!!
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'''Patrick''': After you, Brother SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: Do you still wanna be a Feather Friend?
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'''SpongeBob''': (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ooo! (muffled) Brother Patrick.
  
Squidward: Grrr...no.
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'''Patrick''': Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Aaahhhh! (muffled) Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tongue and puts the jellyfish on it. Squidward jumps into the air, screaming. Bubble-wipe to the next morning. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home. An unknown person knocks on Squidward's door, leaving a package behind)
  
SpongeBob: Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls Squidward's sock out of the
+
'''Squidward''': What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes! (SpongeBob and Patrick giggle. They are in chicken suits, too)
drawer)
+
  
Squidward: A sock?
+
'''SpongeBob''': They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of the Feather Friends.
  
SpongeBob: Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will
+
'''Squidward''': Feather Friends?
storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll half to let you back in the lodge!
+
  
Patrick: Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
  
Squidward: One flaw?
+
'''Patrick''': Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.
  
Patrick: That sock is way too small.
+
'''Squidward''': (growls and rips his chicken suit in half) '''''I DON'T WANT TO BE A FEATHER BUDDY!'''''
  
SpongeBob: It is. Time to break out the heavy artillary. (grabs a giant sock)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Do you still want to be a Feather Friend?
  
Patrick: That's what I'm talkin' about!
+
'''Squidward''': Grrr...no.
  
It is night time at the Cephalopod Lodge.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls one of Squidward's socks out of the drawer)
  
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff.
+
'''Squidward''': A sock?
  
Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): (walk to the lodge)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let you back in the lodge!
  
Squidward: Huh.
+
'''Patrick''': Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.
  
Narrator: 5 minutes later.......
+
'''Squidward''': One flaw?
  
Squidward: (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous, No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel!
+
'''Patrick''': That sock is way too small.
  
Lodge members: (screaming and running)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, it is. Time to break out the heavy artillery. (grabs a photo-realistic giant sock)
  
Albino eel (Patrick): Roooo!
+
'''Patrick''': That's what I'm talking about! (bubble-wipe to night time at the Cephalopod Lodge, where another meeting is beginning. SpongeBob and Patrick, both inside the photo-realistic giant sock, and Squidward look on)
  
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Roar!
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the lodge still inside the sock)
  
Lodge members: (screaming and running)
+
'''Squidward''': Huh? (time card appears)
  
Albino eel (Patrick): Roo!
+
'''French Narrator''': ''5 minutes later...''
  
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Roar!
+
'''Squidward''': (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous. No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel?! (the lodge members are seen screaming and running away from the "albino eel")
  
Squidward: Unbelievable.
+
'''Albino eel (Patrick)''': Roooo!
  
Lodge member: Squidward!
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!
  
Brother Roger: Look out!
+
'''Albino eel (Patrick)''': Roo!
  
Lodge member: There's a giant abino eel on the loose!
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': ROOOOOAAAARRRRR!
  
Squidward: (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)
+
'''Squidward''': Unbelievable.
  
Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oh! Oh, ow! Ow! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)
+
'''Lodge member''': Squidward!
  
Lodge members: (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
+
'''Brother Roger''': Look out!
  
Squidward: (laughing)
+
'''Lodge member''': There's a giant albino eel on the loose!
  
Brother Roger: (gives Squidward his hat and robes)
+
'''Squidward''': (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (cheering)
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick)''': Oh! Oh, ow! Arrgh! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)
  
SpongeBob: Way to go, Squidward.
+
'''Lodge members''': (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward laughs as Brother Roger puts the robe and hat back on him, implying that he has been reinstated into the Cephalopod Lodge. Suddenly, however, the emotional ceremony is interrupted by the incessant cheering of SpongeBob and Patrick)
  
Patrick: It works!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Way to go, Squidward.
  
Squidward: Whoa!
+
'''Patrick''': It works! (the lodge members glare angrily at Squidward and pick him up)
  
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (get kicked out of lodge)
+
'''Announcer''': Will somebody kick them out?
  
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.
+
'''Squidward''': Whoa! (SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are thrown out of the lodge again)
  
Patrick: But you'll have to pass the initiation again.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.
  
Squidward: Aaah! Aaaaahhhh!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
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'''Patrick''': But you'll have to pass the initiation again. (turns on the stinging jellyfish)
  
{{slogan}}
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'''Squidward''': Aah! No! (Patrick grabs Squidward's tongue. Fade to black and a sting is heard. Squidward then screams in pain)
  
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{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]

Latest revision as of 03:46, 14 December 2022

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Grandpappy the Pirate Squid's Visit

Episode Article: Cephalopod Lodge

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

SpongeBob: (singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Doo... (stops when he sees Squidward smiling and staring into the distance) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?

Squidward: Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! (He runs to Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs is stacking his money into a sculpture of himself in his office when suddenly SpongeBob crashes into him destroying it) It happened again, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?

SpongeBob: It's Squidward! (Squidward continues to smile and stare into the distance) What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?

Mysterious man: Psst. Squidward?

Squidward: Roger! Is that you?

Mysterious man: Tonight's the big night. (Squidward gasps. Bubble-wipe to night)

SpongeBob: These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is! (he and Patrick giggle. Squidward walks out of his house. SpongeBob and Patrick dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him to a bus stop. A bus arrives, and Squidward gets in. SpongeBob and Patrick follow and hide under Squidward's bus seat. The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus)

Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger. (he and Brother Roger do secret hand-shake)

Brother Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward.

Squidward: Thank you. (lodge members are talking. Puts on red robes like the other lodge members) Ah. This almost makes the other 353 days worth living for. (a gong chimes. Everyone including Squidward gathers around lodge leader)

Lodge leader: For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eelius! (lodge members gasp)

Cantankerous Moray Eelius: Huh? (a new lodge member shivers while walking up to the moray eel's cage)

Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. (new lodge member is shivering. Cantankerous Moray Eeleus stings new lodge member. Lodge members cheer. Brother Roger puts lodge hat on new lodge member. SpongeBob and Patrick clap)

SpongeBob: Yeah! Way to go!

Patrick: Way to go! (all lodge members, including the leader, gasp. SpongeBob and Psatrick are still clapping)

Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob? Patrick? Did you follow me here? (SpongeBob shakes his head but Patrick nods)

Lodge leader: Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have deliberately desecrated the sanctity of this lodge!

Snooty male judge: Kick him out!

Squidward: But...but, I...I...I...I... (he and SpongeBob get kicked out of the cephalopod lodge. Squidward lands with his head stuck in the ground. He flails about wildly and we hear muffled shouting coming from him. SpongeBob pulls him out of the dirt) I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.

SpongeBob: Do we get to join the lodge? (Squidward makes a face and SpongeBob smiles)

Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?

SpongeBob: Huh? How did you know?

Squidward: Psychic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?

SpongeBob: Maybe he got to join the lodge! (Patrick falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward) Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?

Patrick: Nah. I found the institution had nothing left to offer me. I was stagnating.

SpongeBob: Hey, where's Squidward at?

Patrick: Hold on. (shakes his right leg. Nothing happens, so he shakes his left leg. Squidward's head pops out of Patrick's shorts) I found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head)

Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed, and SpongeBob ruined it, too.

Patrick: Well, at least you still have the hat.

Squidward: Yeah. I do, don't I?

Brother Roger: Ahem. (takes Squidward's hat)

SpongeBob: You still have your robes. (Brother Roger takes Squidward's robes off)

Patrick: You still have your underwear. (Brother Roger takes off Squidward's underwear, leaving him [off-camera] naked)

Squidward: No! (SpongeBob covers his own eyes and Patrick's. Pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now, you two.

SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in. (Bubble-wipe to him knocking on Cephalopod Lodge door)

Brother Roger: What is it? Oh, it’s you two.

SpongeBob: We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So it's not his fault.

Patrick: Yeah. Not his fault.

Brother Roger: Well, then, whose fault was it?

Patrick: Was it my fault?

SpongeBob: No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.

Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.

Brother Roger: Well, if it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Squidward's fault, then whose fault was it?

Patrick: Uh... maybe it's your fault.

Brother Roger: Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again! (slams door)

Squidward: SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!

SpongeBob: No. You can't set foot in the lodge.

Patrick: Ever!

Squidward: Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life... I think I'll go home and slam my head in the door...repeatedly.

SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Squidward: No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?

SpongeBob: That's it! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Want to join our club, Patrick?

Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward! (Squidward screams. Bubble-wipe to the three walking back home)

SpongeBob: Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?

Squidward: Say goodbye. (enters his house)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Good-bye!

Squidward: Morons.

SpongeBob: (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.

Patrick: (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.

SpongeBob: Patrick and I have come up with a secret handshake.

Patrick: Secret! (SpongeBob claps his hands over his head)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Patty cake, patty cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...

Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret handshake! Everyone knows Patty Cake!

SpongeBob: Not the way we do it.

Patrick: We don't use our pinkies.

Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) OUT!

Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)

Squidward: Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.

SpongeBob: (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (he and Patrick carry the bag away. Bubble-wipe to a while later. They arrive at Jellyfish Fields)

SpongeBob: Okay, we can let him out now.

Squidward: Are you insane? You kidnapped me?

SpongeBob: Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...

Patrick: Initiation.

Squidward: What? What kind of initiation?

SpongeBob: A very special initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)

Squidward: Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run. (Patrick smashes Squidward to the ground so he can't leave)

SpongeBob: Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?

Patrick: After you, Brother SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ooo! (muffled) Brother Patrick.

Patrick: Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Aaahhhh! (muffled) Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tongue and puts the jellyfish on it. Squidward jumps into the air, screaming. Bubble-wipe to the next morning. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home. An unknown person knocks on Squidward's door, leaving a package behind)

Squidward: What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes! (SpongeBob and Patrick giggle. They are in chicken suits, too)

SpongeBob: They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of the Feather Friends.

Squidward: Feather Friends?

SpongeBob: Somebody already had Feather Buddies.

Patrick: Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.

Squidward: (growls and rips his chicken suit in half) I DON'T WANT TO BE A FEATHER BUDDY!

SpongeBob: Do you still want to be a Feather Friend?

Squidward: Grrr...no.

SpongeBob: Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls one of Squidward's socks out of the drawer)

Squidward: A sock?

SpongeBob: Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let you back in the lodge!

Patrick: Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.

Squidward: One flaw?

Patrick: That sock is way too small.

SpongeBob: Yeah, it is. Time to break out the heavy artillery. (grabs a photo-realistic giant sock)

Patrick: That's what I'm talking about! (bubble-wipe to night time at the Cephalopod Lodge, where another meeting is beginning. SpongeBob and Patrick, both inside the photo-realistic giant sock, and Squidward look on)

Albino eel (SpongeBob): Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the lodge still inside the sock)

Squidward: Huh? (time card appears)

French Narrator: 5 minutes later...

Squidward: (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous. No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel?! (the lodge members are seen screaming and running away from the "albino eel")

Albino eel (Patrick): Roooo!

Albino eel (SpongeBob): ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!

Albino eel (Patrick): Roo!

Albino eel (SpongeBob): ROOOOOAAAARRRRR!

Squidward: Unbelievable.

Lodge member: Squidward!

Brother Roger: Look out!

Lodge member: There's a giant albino eel on the loose!

Squidward: (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)

Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oh! Oh, ow! Arrgh! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)

Lodge members: (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward laughs as Brother Roger puts the robe and hat back on him, implying that he has been reinstated into the Cephalopod Lodge. Suddenly, however, the emotional ceremony is interrupted by the incessant cheering of SpongeBob and Patrick)

SpongeBob: Way to go, Squidward.

Patrick: It works! (the lodge members glare angrily at Squidward and pick him up)

Announcer: Will somebody kick them out?

Squidward: Whoa! (SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are thrown out of the lodge again)

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.

Patrick: But you'll have to pass the initiation again. (turns on the stinging jellyfish)

Squidward: Aah! No! (Patrick grabs Squidward's tongue. Fade to black and a sting is heard. Squidward then screams in pain)


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