Episode Transcript: Cephalopod Lodge

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
 
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
* Chief of the society
+
*Chief of the society
* Roger
+
*Roger
 +
*Little Sock
 +
*Giant Sock
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
SpongeBob:(singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Doo... (speaking) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?
+
'''SpongeBob''': (singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Doo... (stops when he sees Squidward smiling and staring into the distance) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?
  
Squidward: Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!
+
'''Squidward''': Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!
  
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! It happened again, Mr. Krabs!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs! (He runs to Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs is stacking his money into a sculpture of himself in his office when suddenly SpongeBob crashes into him destroying it) It happened again, Mr. Krabs!
  
Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': What are you talking about?
  
SpongeBob: It's Squidward!
+
'''SpongeBob''': It's Squidward! (Squidward continues to smile and stare into the distance) What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?
  
Squidward: (smiling and staring into the distance)
+
'''Mysterious man''': Psst. Squidward?
  
SpongeBob: What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?
+
'''Squidward''': Roger! Is that you?
  
Mysterious man: Psst. Squidward?
+
'''Mysterious man''': Tonight's the big night. (Squidward gasps. Bubble-wipe to night)
  
Squidward: Roger! Is that you?
+
'''SpongeBob''': These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is! (he and Patrick giggle. Squidward walks out of his house. SpongeBob and Patrick dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him to a bus stop. A bus arrives, and Squidward gets in. SpongeBob and Patrick follow and hide under Squidward's bus seat. The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus)
  
Mysterious man: Tonight's the big night.
+
'''Squidward''': Hello, Brother Roger. (he and Brother Roger do secret hand-shake)
  
Squidward: (Gasp!)
+
'''Brother Roger''': Come right in, Brother Squidward.
  
A few hours pass. It is night now.
+
'''Squidward''': Thank you. (lodge members are talking. Puts on red robes like the other lodge members) Ah. This almost makes the other 353 days worth living for. (a gong chimes. Everyone including Squidward gathers around lodge leader)
  
SpongeBob: These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is!
+
'''Lodge leader''': For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eelius! (lodge members gasp)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (giggling)
+
'''Cantankerous Moray Eelius''': Huh? (a new lodge member shivers while walking up to the moray eel's cage)
  
Squidward: (walks out of his house)
+
'''Squidward''': I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. (new lodge member is shivering. Cantankerous Moray Eeleus stings new lodge member. Lodge members cheer. Brother Roger puts lodge hat on new lodge member. SpongeBob and Patrick clap)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah! Way to go!
  
Squidward:(sitting at bus stop. The bus arrives, and Squidward gets in.)
+
'''Patrick''': Way to go! (all lodge members, including the leader, gasp. SpongeBob and Psatrick are still clapping)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hiding under Squidward's bus seat.)
+
'''Squidward''': (gasps) SpongeBob? Patrick? Did you follow me here? (SpongeBob shakes his head but Patrick nods)
  
The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus.
+
'''Lodge leader''': Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have deliberately desecrated the sanctity of this lodge!
  
Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger.
+
'''Snooty male judge''': Kick him out!
  
Squidward and Brother Roger: (do secret hand-shake)
+
'''Squidward''': But...but, I...I...I...I... (he and SpongeBob get kicked out of the cephalopod lodge. Squidward lands with his head stuck in the ground. He flails about wildly and we hear muffled shouting coming from him. SpongeBob pulls him out of the dirt) I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.
  
Brother Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Do we get to join the lodge? (Squidward makes a face and SpongeBob smiles)
  
Squidward: Thank you.
+
'''Squidward''': Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
  
Lodge members: (talking)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Huh? How did you know?
  
Squidward: Ah. This almost makes the other three hundred and fifty-three days worth living for.
+
'''Squidward''': Psychic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?
  
Lodge leader: For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eeleus!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Maybe he got to join the lodge! (Patrick falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward) Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?
  
Lodge members: (Gasp!)
+
'''Patrick''': Nah. I found the institution had nothing left to offer me. I was stagnating.
  
Cantankerous Moray Eeleus: Huh?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, where's Squidward at?
  
New lodge member: (shivering while walking up to the moray eel's cage)
+
'''Patrick''': Hold on. (shakes his right leg. Nothing happens, so he shakes his left leg. Squidward's head pops out of Patrick's shorts) I found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head)
  
Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony.
+
'''Squidward''': The last thing in my life I really enjoyed, and SpongeBob ruined it, too.
  
New lodge member: (shivering)
+
'''Patrick''': Well, at least you still have the hat.
  
Cantankerous Moray Eeleus: (stings new lodge member)
+
'''Squidward''': Yeah. I do, don't I?
  
Lodge members: (cheering)
+
'''Brother Roger''': Ahem. (takes Squidward's hat)
  
Brother Roger: (puts lodge hat on new lodge member)
+
'''SpongeBob''': You still have your robes. (Brother Roger takes Squidward's robes off)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (clapping)
+
'''Patrick''': You still have your underwear. (Brother Roger takes off Squidward's underwear, leaving him [off-camera] naked)
  
SpongeBob: Yeah! Way to go!
+
'''Squidward''': No! (SpongeBob covers his own eyes and Patrick's. Pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now, you two.
  
Patrick: Way to go!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in. (Bubble-wipe to him knocking on Cephalopod Lodge door)
  
Lodge members: (Gasp!)
+
'''Brother Roger''': What is it? Oh, it’s you two.
  
Lodge leader: (Gasp!)
+
'''SpongeBob''': We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So it's not his fault.
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: (clapping)
+
'''Patrick''': Yeah. Not his fault.
  
Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! Did you follow me here?
+
'''Brother Roger''': Well, then, whose fault was it?
  
Lodge leader: Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have desicrated the sanctity of this lodge!
+
'''Patrick''': Was it my fault?
  
Squidward: But...but, I..I...I....
+
'''SpongeBob''': No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.
  
Squidward and SpongeBob:(get kicked out of lodge)
+
'''Patrick''': Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.
  
Squidward: I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.
+
'''Brother Roger''': Well, if it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Squidward's fault, then whose fault was it?
  
SpongeBob: Do we get to join the lodge?
+
'''Patrick''': Uh... maybe it's your fault.
  
Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
+
'''Brother Roger''': Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again! (slams door)
  
SpongeBob: Huh! How did you know?
+
'''Squidward''': SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!
  
Squidward: Pshycic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?
+
'''SpongeBob''': No. You can't set foot in the lodge.
  
SpongeBob: Maybe he got to join the lodge!
+
'''Patrick''': Ever!
  
Patrick: (falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward)
+
'''Squidward''': Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life... I think I'll go home and slam my head in the door...repeatedly.
  
SpongeBob: Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
  
Patrick: Nah. I found the institution had nothing of to offer me. I was stagnated.
+
'''Squidward''': No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?
  
SpongeBob: Hey, where's Squidward?
+
'''SpongeBob''': That's it! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Want to join our club, Patrick?
  
Patrick: Hold on. (shakes right leg. Nothing happens. shakes left leg)
+
'''Patrick''': Dog-pile on Squidward! (Squidward screams. Bubble-wipe to the three walking back home)
  
Squidward: (head pops out of Patrick's shorts)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?
  
Patrick: Found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Then, pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head.)
+
'''Squidward''': Say goodbye. (enters his house)
  
Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed. And SpongeBob ruined it, too.
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Good-bye!
  
Patrick: Well, at least you still have the hat.
+
'''Squidward''': Morons.
  
Squidward: Yeah. I do, don't I?
+
'''SpongeBob''': (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.
  
Brother Roger: Eh, hem. (takes Squidward's hat)
+
'''Patrick''': (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.
  
SpongeBob: You still have your robes.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick and I have come up with a secret handshake.
  
Brother Roger: (takes Squidward's robes)
+
'''Patrick''': Secret! (SpongeBob claps his hands over his head)
  
Patrick: You still have your underwear.
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Patty cake, patty cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...
  
Brother Roger: (takes Sguidaward's underwear)
+
'''Squidward''': SpongeBob! That's not a secret handshake! Everyone knows Patty Cake!
  
Squidward: No!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Not the way we do it.
  
SpongeBob: (covers his own eyes and Patrick's)
+
'''Patrick''': We don't use our pinkies.
  
Squidward: (pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now.
+
'''Squidward''': (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) '''''OUT!'''''
  
SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in.
+
'''Patrick''': I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.
  
(knocks on Cephalopod Lodge door)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)
  
Brother Roger: What is it? Oh, it’s you two.
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.
  
SpongeBob: We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So, it's not his fault.
+
'''SpongeBob''': (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (he and Patrick carry the bag away. Bubble-wipe to a while later. They arrive at Jellyfish Fields)
  
Patrick: Yeah. Not his fault.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Okay, we can let him out now.
  
Brother Roger: Then whose fault was it?
+
'''Squidward''': Are you insane? You kidnapped me?
  
Patrick: Was it my fault?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...
  
SpongeBob: No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.
+
'''Patrick''': Initiation.
  
Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.
+
'''Squidward''': What? What kind of initiation?
  
Brother Roger: Well, if it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Squidward's fault, whose fault was it?
+
'''SpongeBob''': A very ''special'' initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)
  
Patrick: Uh...maybe it's your fault.
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run. (Patrick smashes Squidward to the ground so he can't leave)
  
Brother Roger: '''''SQUIDWARD IS NEVER ALLOWED IN THIS LODGE AGAIN!'''''
+
'''SpongeBob''': Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?
  
Squidward: SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!
+
'''Patrick''': After you, Brother SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: No. You can't set foot in the lodge.
+
'''SpongeBob''': (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ooo! (muffled) Brother Patrick.
  
Patrick: Ever!
+
'''Patrick''': Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Aaahhhh! (muffled) Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tongue and puts the jellyfish on it. Squidward jumps into the air, screaming. Bubble-wipe to the next morning. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home. An unknown person knocks on Squidward's door, leaving a package behind)
  
Squidward: Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life,...I think I'll go home and slam my head in the door. Repeatedly.
+
'''Squidward''': What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes! (SpongeBob and Patrick giggle. They are in chicken suits, too)
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
+
'''SpongeBob''': They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of the Feather Friends.
  
Squidward: No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?
+
'''Squidward''': Feather Friends?
  
SpongeBob: That's it!!! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Wanna join
+
'''SpongeBob''': Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
our club, Patrick?
+
  
Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward!
+
'''Patrick''': Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.
  
Squidward: Aaahhhh! (The three walk back home).
+
'''Squidward''': (growls and rips his chicken suit in half) '''''I DON'T WANT TO BE A FEATHER BUDDY!'''''
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Do you still want to be a Feather Friend?
  
Squidward: Say good-bye. (enters his house)
+
'''Squidward''': Grrr...no.
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Good-bye!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls one of Squidward's socks out of the drawer)
  
Squidward: Morons.
+
'''Squidward''': A sock?
  
SpongeBob: (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let you back in the lodge!
  
Patrick: (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.
+
'''Patrick''': Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick and I have come up with a secret hand-shake.
+
'''Squidward''': One flaw?
  
Patrick: Secret!
+
'''Patrick''': That sock is way too small.
  
SpongeBob: (claps hands over head)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, it is. Time to break out the heavy artillery. (grabs a photo-realistic giant sock)
  
 +
'''Patrick''': That's what I'm talking about! (bubble-wipe to night time at the Cephalopod Lodge, where another meeting is beginning. SpongeBob and Patrick, both inside the photo-realistic giant sock, and Squidward look on)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Patty-cake, patty-cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the lodge still inside the sock)
  
Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret hand-shake! Everybody knows Patty-cake!
+
'''Squidward''': Huh? (time card appears)
  
SpongeBob: Not the way we do it.
+
'''French Narrator''': ''5 minutes later...''
  
Patrick: We don't use our pinkies.
+
'''Squidward''': (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous. No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel?! (the lodge members are seen screaming and running away from the "albino eel")
  
Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) Out!!!!!!
+
'''Albino eel (Patrick)''': Roooo!
  
Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!
  
SpongeBob: Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)
+
'''Albino eel (Patrick)''': Roo!
  
Squidward: Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob)''': ROOOOOAAAARRRRR!
  
SpongeBob: (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry the bag away.)
+
'''Squidward''': Unbelievable.
  
They arrive at Jellyfish Fields.
+
'''Lodge member''': Squidward!
  
SpongeBob: Okay, we can let him out now.
+
'''Brother Roger''': Look out!
  
Squidward: Are you insane? You kidnapped me?
+
'''Lodge member''': There's a giant albino eel on the loose!
  
SpongeBob: Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...
+
'''Squidward''': (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)
  
Patrick: Initiation.
+
'''Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick)''': Oh! Oh, ow! Arrgh! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)
  
Squidward: What? What kind of initiation?
+
'''Lodge members''': (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward laughs as Brother Roger puts the robe and hat back on him, implying that he has been reinstated into the Cephalopod Lodge. Suddenly, however, the emotional ceremony is interrupted by the incessant cheering of SpongeBob and Patrick)
  
SpongeBob: A very special initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Way to go, Squidward.
  
Squidward: Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run.
+
'''Patrick''': It works! (the lodge members glare angrily at Squidward and pick him up)
  
Patrick: (smashes Squidward to the ground)
+
'''Announcer''': Will somebody kick them out?
  
SpongeBob: Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?
+
'''Squidward''': Whoa! (SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are thrown out of the lodge again)
  
Patrick: After you, Brother SpongeBob.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.
  
SpongeBob: (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ow! Brother Patrick.
+
'''Patrick''': But you'll have to pass the initiation again. (turns on the stinging jellyfish)
  
Patrick: Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Aaahhhh! Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tongue and puts the jellyfish on it)
+
'''Squidward''': Aah! No! (Patrick grabs Squidward's tongue. Fade to black and a sting is heard. Squidward then screams in pain)
 
+
Squidward: (jumps into the air) Eee-aahhhhhhh!
+
 
+
The next morning, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home.
+
 
+
Unknown person: (knocks on Squidward's door)
+
 
+
Squidward: What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (He comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes!
+
 
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: (giggling. They are in chicken suits, too.)
+
 
+
SpongeBob: They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of...the Feather Friends.
+
 
+
Squidward: Feather Friends?
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
+
 
+
Patrick: Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.
+
 
+
Squidward: Grrrr. (rips his chicken suit in half) I don't want to be a Feather Buddy!!!!
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Do you still wanna be a Feather Friend?
+
 
+
Squidward: Grrr...no.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls Squidward's sock out of the
+
drawer)
+
 
+
Squidward: A sock?
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will
+
storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let you back in the lodge!
+
 
+
Patrick: Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.
+
 
+
Squidward: One flaw?
+
 
+
Patrick: That sock is way too small.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: It is. Time to break out the heavy artillery. (grabs a giant sock)
+
 
+
Patrick: That's what I'm talkin' about!
+
 
+
It is night time at the Cephalopod Lodge.
+
 
+
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff.
+
 
+
Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): (walk to the lodge)
+
 
+
Squidward: Huh.
+
 
+
Narrator: 5 minutes later.......
+
 
+
Squidward: (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous, No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel!
+
 
+
Lodge members: (screaming and running)
+
 
+
Albino eel (Patrick): Roooo!
+
 
+
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Roar!
+
 
+
Lodge members: (screaming and running)
+
 
+
Albino eel (Patrick): Roo!
+
 
+
Albino eel (SpongeBob): Roar!
+
 
+
Squidward: Unbelievable.
+
 
+
Lodge member: Squidward!
+
 
+
Brother Roger: Look out!
+
 
+
Lodge member: There's a giant albino eel on the loose!
+
 
+
Squidward: (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)
+
 
+
Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oh! Oh, ow! Ow! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)
+
 
+
Lodge members: (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
+
 
+
Squidward: (laughing)
+
 
+
Brother Roger: (gives Squidward his hat and robes)
+
 
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: (cheering)
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Way to go, Squidward.
+
 
+
Patrick: It works!
+
 
+
Squidward: Whoa!
+
 
+
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (get kicked out of lodge)
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.
+
 
+
Patrick: But you'll have to pass the initiation again. [Turns on the stinging jellyfish]
+
 
+
Squidward: Aah! No! [Patrick grabs Squidward's tounge and as the screen went blank as we hear the sting] '''''AAAAAAAGH!!!!'''''
+
 
+
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
+
  
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]

Latest revision as of 03:46, 14 December 2022

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Grandpappy the Pirate Squid's Visit

Episode Article: Cephalopod Lodge

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

SpongeBob: (singing) Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Doo... (stops when he sees Squidward smiling and staring into the distance) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?

Squidward: Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! (He runs to Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs is stacking his money into a sculpture of himself in his office when suddenly SpongeBob crashes into him destroying it) It happened again, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?

SpongeBob: It's Squidward! (Squidward continues to smile and stare into the distance) What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?

Mysterious man: Psst. Squidward?

Squidward: Roger! Is that you?

Mysterious man: Tonight's the big night. (Squidward gasps. Bubble-wipe to night)

SpongeBob: These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is! (he and Patrick giggle. Squidward walks out of his house. SpongeBob and Patrick dive into kelp. When Squidward walks away, they follow him to a bus stop. A bus arrives, and Squidward gets in. SpongeBob and Patrick follow and hide under Squidward's bus seat. The bus arrives at a strange, pyramid-shaped building. Squidward gets off the bus)

Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger. (he and Brother Roger do secret hand-shake)

Brother Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward.

Squidward: Thank you. (lodge members are talking. Puts on red robes like the other lodge members) Ah. This almost makes the other 353 days worth living for. (a gong chimes. Everyone including Squidward gathers around lodge leader)

Lodge leader: For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let ye among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eelius! (lodge members gasp)

Cantankerous Moray Eelius: Huh? (a new lodge member shivers while walking up to the moray eel's cage)

Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. (new lodge member is shivering. Cantankerous Moray Eeleus stings new lodge member. Lodge members cheer. Brother Roger puts lodge hat on new lodge member. SpongeBob and Patrick clap)

SpongeBob: Yeah! Way to go!

Patrick: Way to go! (all lodge members, including the leader, gasp. SpongeBob and Psatrick are still clapping)

Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob? Patrick? Did you follow me here? (SpongeBob shakes his head but Patrick nods)

Lodge leader: Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have deliberately desecrated the sanctity of this lodge!

Snooty male judge: Kick him out!

Squidward: But...but, I...I...I...I... (he and SpongeBob get kicked out of the cephalopod lodge. Squidward lands with his head stuck in the ground. He flails about wildly and we hear muffled shouting coming from him. SpongeBob pulls him out of the dirt) I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.

SpongeBob: Do we get to join the lodge? (Squidward makes a face and SpongeBob smiles)

Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?

SpongeBob: Huh? How did you know?

Squidward: Psychic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?

SpongeBob: Maybe he got to join the lodge! (Patrick falls out of the sky and crushes Squidward) Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?

Patrick: Nah. I found the institution had nothing left to offer me. I was stagnating.

SpongeBob: Hey, where's Squidward at?

Patrick: Hold on. (shakes his right leg. Nothing happens, so he shakes his left leg. Squidward's head pops out of Patrick's shorts) I found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out of his shorts. Pulls the hat out and puts it on Squidward's head)

Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed, and SpongeBob ruined it, too.

Patrick: Well, at least you still have the hat.

Squidward: Yeah. I do, don't I?

Brother Roger: Ahem. (takes Squidward's hat)

SpongeBob: You still have your robes. (Brother Roger takes Squidward's robes off)

Patrick: You still have your underwear. (Brother Roger takes off Squidward's underwear, leaving him [off-camera] naked)

Squidward: No! (SpongeBob covers his own eyes and Patrick's. Pulls on his regular shirt) You can look now, you two.

SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in. (Bubble-wipe to him knocking on Cephalopod Lodge door)

Brother Roger: What is it? Oh, it’s you two.

SpongeBob: We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So it's not his fault.

Patrick: Yeah. Not his fault.

Brother Roger: Well, then, whose fault was it?

Patrick: Was it my fault?

SpongeBob: No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.

Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either.

Brother Roger: Well, if it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Squidward's fault, then whose fault was it?

Patrick: Uh... maybe it's your fault.

Brother Roger: Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again! (slams door)

Squidward: SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!

SpongeBob: No. You can't set foot in the lodge.

Patrick: Ever!

Squidward: Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life... I think I'll go home and slam my head in the door...repeatedly.

SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Squidward: No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?

SpongeBob: That's it! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Want to join our club, Patrick?

Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward! (Squidward screams. Bubble-wipe to the three walking back home)

SpongeBob: Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?

Squidward: Say goodbye. (enters his house)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Good-bye!

Squidward: Morons.

SpongeBob: (climbs in through Squidward's window) So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.

Patrick: (falls through Squidward's window) Hey.

SpongeBob: Patrick and I have come up with a secret handshake.

Patrick: Secret! (SpongeBob claps his hands over his head)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Patty cake, patty cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast...

Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret handshake! Everyone knows Patty Cake!

SpongeBob: Not the way we do it.

Patrick: We don't use our pinkies.

Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) OUT!

Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push. (knocks on Squidward's door)

Squidward: Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.

SpongeBob: (traps Squidward in a light brown bag) Let's move. (he and Patrick carry the bag away. Bubble-wipe to a while later. They arrive at Jellyfish Fields)

SpongeBob: Okay, we can let him out now.

Squidward: Are you insane? You kidnapped me?

SpongeBob: Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for...

Patrick: Initiation.

Squidward: What? What kind of initiation?

SpongeBob: A very special initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out of his net)

Squidward: Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run. (Patrick smashes Squidward to the ground so he can't leave)

SpongeBob: Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?

Patrick: After you, Brother SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (flicks the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ooo! (muffled) Brother Patrick.

Patrick: Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and puts it on his tongue) Aaahhhh! (muffled) Brother Squidward. (pulls on Squidward's tongue and puts the jellyfish on it. Squidward jumps into the air, screaming. Bubble-wipe to the next morning. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are all back at home. An unknown person knocks on Squidward's door, leaving a package behind)

Squidward: What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on! (comes out of his room, dressed in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes! (SpongeBob and Patrick giggle. They are in chicken suits, too)

SpongeBob: They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of the Feather Friends.

Squidward: Feather Friends?

SpongeBob: Somebody already had Feather Buddies.

Patrick: Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley.

Squidward: (growls and rips his chicken suit in half) I DON'T WANT TO BE A FEATHER BUDDY!

SpongeBob: Do you still want to be a Feather Friend?

Squidward: Grrr...no.

SpongeBob: Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (pulls one of Squidward's socks out of the drawer)

Squidward: A sock?

SpongeBob: Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let you back in the lodge!

Patrick: Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan.

Squidward: One flaw?

Patrick: That sock is way too small.

SpongeBob: Yeah, it is. Time to break out the heavy artillery. (grabs a photo-realistic giant sock)

Patrick: That's what I'm talking about! (bubble-wipe to night time at the Cephalopod Lodge, where another meeting is beginning. SpongeBob and Patrick, both inside the photo-realistic giant sock, and Squidward look on)

Albino eel (SpongeBob): Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the lodge still inside the sock)

Squidward: Huh? (time card appears)

French Narrator: 5 minutes later...

Squidward: (walks to the lodge) This is ridiculous. No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel?! (the lodge members are seen screaming and running away from the "albino eel")

Albino eel (Patrick): Roooo!

Albino eel (SpongeBob): ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!

Albino eel (Patrick): Roo!

Albino eel (SpongeBob): ROOOOOAAAARRRRR!

Squidward: Unbelievable.

Lodge member: Squidward!

Brother Roger: Look out!

Lodge member: There's a giant albino eel on the loose!

Squidward: (clears throat) Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (punches the sock twice)

Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oh! Oh, ow! Arrgh! Oof! (sock flattens and collapses)

Lodge members: (cheering) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward laughs as Brother Roger puts the robe and hat back on him, implying that he has been reinstated into the Cephalopod Lodge. Suddenly, however, the emotional ceremony is interrupted by the incessant cheering of SpongeBob and Patrick)

SpongeBob: Way to go, Squidward.

Patrick: It works! (the lodge members glare angrily at Squidward and pick him up)

Announcer: Will somebody kick them out?

Squidward: Whoa! (SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are thrown out of the lodge again)

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends.

Patrick: But you'll have to pass the initiation again. (turns on the stinging jellyfish)

Squidward: Aah! No! (Patrick grabs Squidward's tongue. Fade to black and a sting is heard. Squidward then screams in pain)


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