Episode Transcript: A Friendly Game

From SpongePedia, the First SpongeBob Wiki.
(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Cleanup}}
+
{| border="1"
 +
!Back Episode Transcript
 +
!Next Episode Transcript
 +
|-
 +
|[[Episode Transcript: The Hot Shot|The Hot Shot]]
 +
|[[Episode Transcript: Sentimental Sponge|Sentimental Sponge]]
 +
|}
  
[SpongeBob's alarm rings, his house blows toward Squidward's house, Squidward wakes up in dread, sand hands then cover the house's ears, then SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second then runs to Patrick's house]
+
Episode Article: [[A Friendly Game (Episode)|A Friendly Game]]
  
SpongeBob: Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick! [cuts to Squidward] Tee time, Patrick! [cuts to Patrick's house] Patrick! Wake up!
+
==Characters==
 +
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
 +
*[[Patrick Star]]
 +
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
 +
*[[Gary the Snail]]
  
Patrick: [laughs] Ready to lose? Weather permitting, of course. [There is a rumbling sound then storm clouds move in and start rain and thunder]
+
==Dialogue==
 +
(SpongeBob's alarm rings. His house blows toward Squidward's house. Squidward wakes up in dread. Sand hands then cover the house's ears. SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second, then runs to Patrick's house)
  
SpongeBob: Aw, how are we supposed to golf in this this downpour? Our putters are getting waterlogged. [twist putter]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick! (cut to Squidward) Tee time, Patrick! (cut to Patrick's house) Patrick! Wake up!
  
Patrick: Dumb rain! Doesn't anybody know I'm the sheriff in these parts? [points to sky with putter] Hey, rain! You better stop that! [Patrick gets shocked by lightning then screams. Cuts to Squidward grumbling & covers head with blanket]
+
'''Patrick:''' (laughs) Ready to lose? Weather permitting, of course. (a rumbling sound is heard. Then storm clouds move in and a thunderstorm occurs)
  
Squidward: [opens window] If you two don't mind, could you keep it down to a low rumble?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aw, how are we supposed to golf in this this downpour? Our putters are getting waterlogged. (twists putter)
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Sorry, Squidward.
+
'''Patrick:''' Dumb rain! Doesn't anybody know I'm the sheriff in these parts? (points to sky with putter) Hey, rain! You better stop that! (gets shocked by lightning and screams, becoming a pile of ash. Squidward is grumbling and covers his head with his blanket)
  
SpongeBob: I guess we were just too upset about the rain and how...
+
'''Squidward:''' (opens window) If you two don't mind, could you keep it down to a low rumble?
  
Squidward: Don't care. [closes window, cuts to SpongeBob's house]
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Sorry, Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: [sighs] I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding. Thanks a lot, rain! [slams fist onto table and makes golf ball ricochet off of door then Gary into Gary's food bowl] Hey, [raises finger] that gives me an idea. [card comes up saying: BRIEF CONSTRUCTION MONTAGE]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I guess we were just too upset about the rain and how...
  
Man with a French accent: What follows is a brief construction montage.
+
'''Squidward:''' Don't care. (closes window. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house)
[shows SpongeBob and Patrick hammering on boards, ripping a sofa, pouring sand, drilling holes, filling holes with water, making holes, and taking Gary's shell off. cuts back to card]
+
  
Man with French accent: We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (sighs) I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding. Thanks a lot, rain! (slams fist onto table and makes golf ball ricochet off of door, then Gary, into Gary's food bowl) Hey, (raises finger) that gives me an idea. (card comes up reading "BRIEF CONSTRUCTION MONTAGE")
[cuts to outside of house, with sounds and SpongeBob's house shaking. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house]
+
  
Squidward: [grumbles then gets so angry his sleep mask burns off, puts three pillows on a desk, ties them to his face with a rope, still hears them, then rips pillows off and screams. He walks to SpongeBob's house with umbrella, cuts to inside, where SpongeBob and Patrick are constructing] Hey! Hello?! Nitwit, morons.[Patrick hits Squidward with a hammer, Squidward screams]
+
'''French Narrator:''' What follows is a brief construction montage. (shows SpongeBob and Patrick hammering on boards, ripping a sofa, pouring sand, drilling holes, filling holes with water, making holes, and taking Gary's shell off. Cut back to card) We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage. (cut to outside of house, with sounds and SpongeBob's house shaking. Cut to inside of Squidward's house)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of [shows course] indoor miniature golf!
+
'''Squidward:''' (grumbles, then gets so angry his sleep mask burns off. Puts three pillows on a desk and ties them to his face with a rope. But he still hears them, then rips pillows off and screams. Walks to SpongeBob's house with umbrella. Cut to inside, where SpongeBob and Patrick are constructing) Hey! Hello?! Nitwit, morons. (Patrick hits Squidward with a hammer. Screams)
  
Squidward: I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! Presently, I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of indoor miniature golf! (course is shown)
  
Patrick: But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. [cuts to sculpture]
+
'''Squidward:''' I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! Presently, I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap!
  
Squidward: I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna...
+
'''Patrick:''' But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. (cut to sculpture)
  
Patrick: Join us on the back nine?
+
'''Squidward:''' I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna...
  
Squidward: Just don't let it happen again! Or else. [leaves]
+
'''Patrick:''' Join us on the back nine?
  
SpongeBob: Let's get this game teed off. [balls come out of his head, he catches them, places a ball and tee on grass] You're up first, my good man.
+
'''Squidward:''' Just don't let it happen again! Or else. (leaves)
[Patrick stretches, yawns, stomps, ululates]
+
  
Squidward: I am warning you two, keep it down!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Let's get this game teed off. [balls come out of his head, he catches them, places a ball and tee on grass] You're up first, my good man. (Patrick stretches and yawns. Then he stomps and ululates)
  
SpongeBob: Better tone down the calisthenics, Patrick. Don't want to upset Squidward.
+
'''Squidward:''' I am warning you two, keep it down!
  
Patrick: Can't wait to lose, huh? [aims, pulls back, and shoots. Ball ricochets back to tee] NO! Ooh. If you would just let me finish my stretches, I wouldn't have missed my first shot!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Better tone down the calisthenics, Patrick. Don't want to upset Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Patrick, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. [places ball on tee] Besides, we're just playin' for fun, right? And back, and- [makes it]
+
'''Patrick:''' Can't wait to lose, huh? (aims, pulls back, and shoots. Blue-colored ball almost goes in the hole, but it ricochets back to the tee) NO! Ooh, if you would just let me finish my stretches, I wouldn't have missed my first shot!
  
Patrick: Nice shot. [moves ball]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, don't worry, Patrick, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. (places ball on tee) Besides, we're just playin' for fun, right? And back, and- (shoots red-colored ball, which goes in the hole)
  
SpongeBob: What are you doing?
+
'''Patrick:''' Nice shot. (moves blue ball)
  
Patrick: Moving my ball.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' What are you doing?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, you have to play it where it lands.
+
'''Patrick:''' Moving my ball.
  
Patrick: Fine. Have it your way. [moves ball back to original place, shoots, makes it] Ready to give up?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you have to play it where it lands.
[cuts to a hole]
+
  
Patrick: Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.
+
'''Patrick:''' Fine. Have it your way. (moves ball back to original place and shoots. This time, the ball goes in the hole) Ready to give up? (bubble-wipe to a hole with a mini-windmill) Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.
  
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, this is just a game.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You know, Patrick, this is just a game.
  
Patrick: Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.
  
SpongeBob: I think you're missing the point. [aims, practice shots]
+
''''SpongeBob:''' I think you're missing the point. (aims for a practice shot)
  
Patrick: Speaking of m-m-MISSING! [SpongeBob shoots by accident, startled by Patrick] Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn. [shoots and makes it] YES! See if you can top that!
+
'''Patrick:''' Speaking of m-m-MISSING! (SpongeBob shoots by accident, startled by Patrick. Red ball fails to get past the mini-windmill) Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn. (shoots and his ball goes in the hole) YES! See if you can top that!
  
SpongeBob: [uneasily] Okay.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (uneasily) Okay.
  
Patrick: [with microphone and headphones] SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey. [SpongeBob swings but stops] A pressure-packed shot to be sure. [leaves]
+
'''Patrick:''' (with microphone and headphones) SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey. (leaves. SpongeBob swings but stops) A pressure-packed shot to be sure. (leaves again. SpongeBob sweats and wipes his forehead, then shoots. Ball stops right before it's about to go in the hole)
[SpongeBob sweats and wipes his forehead, shoots, ball stops right before it's about to go in]
+
  
Bikini Bottomites: Aw. [all whisper]
+
'''Bikini Bottomites:''' Awww... (all whisper. Bubble-wipe to a new hole)
[cuts to hole]
+
  
Patrick: Looks like we're tied, three shots to three.
+
'''Patrick:''' Looks like we're tied, three shots to three.
  
SpongeBob: Shots. [chuckles] They're called strokes in golf, Patrick. Not shots.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Three shots? (chuckles) They're called strokes in golf, Patrick. Not shots.
  
Patrick: Whatever. [shoots and makes it] AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE! That's two in a row!
+
'''Patrick:''' Whatever. (shoots and his ball goes in the hole) AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE! That's two in a row!
  
SpongeBob: All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe. [shoots and makes it] Right between the old wickets. Come on bally, don't fail me now.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe. (shoots and his ball also goes in the hole) Right between the old wickets. Come on, bally, don't fail me now.
  
Patrick: Watch out for the water hazard.
+
'''Patrick:''' Watch out for the water hazard.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.
  
Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about.
+
'''Patrick:''' I have no idea what you're talking about.
  
SpongeBob: Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you. [shoots ball an ball ricochets off of a picture, through a sculpture and out the window] Oops.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you. (shoots ball. The ball ricochets off of a picture, through the head of the Squidward sculpture and out the window) Oops.
  
Patrick: Show-off. I can do that. [shoots, SpongeBob ducks and goes out the window]
+
'''Patrick:''' Show-off. I can do that. (shoots his ball. SpongeBob ducks and the ball goes out the window)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, where did our balls go?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, where did our balls go?
  
Patrick: Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.
+
'''Patrick:''' Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.
  
SpongeBob: [shows side of Squidward's house and broken window] Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (side of Squidward's house with a broken window is shown) Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point.
  
Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.
  
SpongeBob: But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!
  
Patrick: Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!
+
'''Patrick:''' Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!
  
SpongeBob: Hey! Patrick. Patrick! What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! Patrick. Patrick! What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?
  
Patrick: Okay, okay!
+
'''Patrick:''' Okay, okay!
  
SpongeBob: Now where is that darn ball?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Now, where is that darn ball?
  
Patrick: Oh!
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh!
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, have you seen by ball?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, have you seen by ball?
  
Patrick: Was it a red one?
+
'''Patrick:''' Was it a red one?
  
SpongeBob: M-hmm.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' M-hmm.
  
Patrick: It might have been in the kelp salad.
+
'''Patrick:''' It might have been in the kelp salad.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, you ate my ball?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you ate my ball?
  
Patrick: Don't worry, I'll get it.
+
'''Patrick:''' Don't worry, I'll get it.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, no.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, no.
  
Patrick: No?
+
'''Patrick:''' No?
  
SpongeBob: I have to play the ball where it lies. [goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth] You'll need to leave this open. [goes back inside] Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore! [the ball goes through wall and hits lamp] Where's your ball?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I have to play the ball where it lies. (goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth) You'll need to leave this open. (goes back inside) Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore! (the ball goes through the wall and hits a lamp) Where's your ball?
  
Patrick: I don't know. Got to be around here somewhere. [ball is seen in Patrick's bum hole on outside of his pants]
+
'''Patrick:''' I don't know. Got to be around here somewhere. (ball is seen between Patrick's buttocks on the outside of his pants)
  
SpongeBob: There it is!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' There it is!
  
Patrick: Uh-oh.
+
'''Patrick:''' Uh-oh.
  
SpongeBob: Play it where it lies.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Play it where it lies.
  
Patrick: [angrily grumbling. Cuts to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp, picture, and through a wall] Hole in one! Top that!
+
'''Patrick:''' (angrily grumbling. Bubble-wipe to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp, picture, and through a wall) Hole in one! Top that!
  
SpongeBob: I could do that blindfolded. [Patrick hands him a blindfold]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I could do that blindfolded. (Patrick hands him a blindfold. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, now blindfolded. Hits a door. Feels around to identify it and slams the door)
[cuts to blind SpongeBob. He hits a door. Feels around to identify it and slams the door]
+
  
Patrick: Wait up! Warmer. Warmer. Red hot!
+
'''Patrick:''' Wait up! Warmer. Warmer. Red hot!
  
SpongeBob: [slams a door] Aha!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (slams a door) Aha!
  
Patrick: Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Red hot! Red hot! [SpongeBob splits a table] Wait, My mistake. You're right. Oh, Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red hot. Red hot! SpongeBob, red hot! [Kills a plant] Wrong again.
+
'''Patrick:''' Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Red hot! Red hot! (SpongeBob splits a table) Wait, My mistake. You're right. Oh, Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red hot. Red hot! SpongeBob, red hot! (SpongeBob kills a plant) Wrong again.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick... [peeks out]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick... (takes the blindfold slightly off to peek out)
  
Patrick: Stop peeking! Hotter. [wrecks Squidward's house along the way] Hotter! Hot! Hot! Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot! Cold.
+
'''Patrick:''' Stop peeking! Hotter. (SpongeBob wrecks Squidward's house along the way) Hotter! Hot! Hot! Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot! Cold.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick! This is ridic- [sees Squidward's wrecked house] -ulous. Wow. Squidward's really let this place go. Patrick...!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! This is ridic... (sees Squidward's wrecked house) ...ulous. Wow. Squidward's really let this place go. (Patrick is in Squidward's bathtub. SpongeBob walks in) Patrick...what are you doing?!
  
SpongeBob: ...what are you doing?
+
'''Patrick:''' I was just freshening up. But these fancy fixtures are touchy. (turns the shower water on hot. Steam builds up around Patrick) Hot! Red hot! (turns the shower water cold) Ah! Cold! Cold! Cold! (SpongeBob turns the shower off)
  
Patrick: I was just freshening up. But these fancy fixtures are touchy. [steam builds up around Patrick] Hot! Red hot! Ah! Cold! Cold! Cold!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Would you please get back in the game?
  
SpongeBob: Would you please get back in the game?
+
'''Patrick:''' But I wanted to try his loofah. (pulls out a sponge-like loofah. SpongeBob pulls him out of the tub)
  
Patrick: But I wanted to try his loofah.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Those balls have got to be around here somewhere. Oh, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Those balls have got to be around here somewhere. Oh, Patrick.
+
'''Patrick:''' Uhh, look a little closer, buddy.
  
Patrick: Uhh, look a little closer, buddy.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (uneasily) Play it where it lies?
  
SpongeBob: [uneasily] Play it where it lies?
+
'''Patrick:''' Play it where it lies.
  
Patrick: Play it where it lies.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?
  
SpongeBob: But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?
+
'''Patrick:''' All it takes is a little finesse, SpongeBob. All it takes is a little finesse.
  
Patrick: All it takes is a little finesse, SpongeBob. All it takes is a little finesse.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, you're good to go.
  
SpongeBob: Okay, you're good to go.
+
'''Patrick:''' Fore! (wrecks top front of house) It's all yours.
  
Patrick: Fore! [wrecks top front of house] It's all yours.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' This one's for all the marbles. (Squidward is blindfolded and given ear plugs. The balls are placed on him)
  
SpongeBob: This one's for all the marbles.
+
'''Patrick:''' But I thought we weren't betting.
  
Patrick: But I thought we weren't betting.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game. (Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see SpongeBob and Patrick talking)
  
SpongeBob: No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game. [Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see SpongeBob and Patrick talking]
+
'''Squidward:''' (muffled) What's going on here? (screams. SpongeBob and Patrick shoot, landing the balls in Gary's food bowl and spilling liquid on him)
  
Squidward: [muffled] What's going on here? [screams]
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hole in one! (Squidward sits up)
[SpongeBob and Patrick shoot, landing Gary's food bowl, spilling on him]
+
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hole in one! [Squidward sits up]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Good morning.
  
SpongeBob: Good morning.
+
'''Patrick:''' Sorry we woke you.
  
Patrick: Sorry we woke you.
+
'''Squidward:''' (muffled and stammering) Wha-What? (his mouth is shown, with no dentures)
  
Squidward: [muffled and stammering] Wha-What? [his mouth is shown, with no dentures]
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures? (cut to Gary, with dentures in his bowl)
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures?
+
'''Patrick:''' Good game, pal.
[cuts to Gary, with dentures in his bowl]
+
  
Patrick: Good game, pal.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Rematch next Saturday?
  
SpongeBob: Rematch next Saturday?
+
'''Patrick:''' Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine. (thunderstorm, by now just a typical rain shower, ends. Squidward's house collapses)
  
Patrick: Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine.
+
'''Squidward:''' (muffled) SpongeBob?!
[stops raining, focusing on Squidward's house, which collapses]
+
 
+
Squidward: [muffled] SpongeBob?!
+
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 8}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 8}}

Revision as of 18:01, 4 October 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
The Hot Shot Sentimental Sponge

Episode Article: A Friendly Game

Characters

Dialogue

(SpongeBob's alarm rings. His house blows toward Squidward's house. Squidward wakes up in dread. Sand hands then cover the house's ears. SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second, then runs to Patrick's house)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick! (cut to Squidward) Tee time, Patrick! (cut to Patrick's house) Patrick! Wake up!

Patrick: (laughs) Ready to lose? Weather permitting, of course. (a rumbling sound is heard. Then storm clouds move in and a thunderstorm occurs)

SpongeBob: Aw, how are we supposed to golf in this this downpour? Our putters are getting waterlogged. (twists putter)

Patrick: Dumb rain! Doesn't anybody know I'm the sheriff in these parts? (points to sky with putter) Hey, rain! You better stop that! (gets shocked by lightning and screams, becoming a pile of ash. Squidward is grumbling and covers his head with his blanket)

Squidward: (opens window) If you two don't mind, could you keep it down to a low rumble?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Sorry, Squidward.

SpongeBob: I guess we were just too upset about the rain and how...

Squidward: Don't care. (closes window. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house)

SpongeBob: (sighs) I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding. Thanks a lot, rain! (slams fist onto table and makes golf ball ricochet off of door, then Gary, into Gary's food bowl) Hey, (raises finger) that gives me an idea. (card comes up reading "BRIEF CONSTRUCTION MONTAGE")

French Narrator: What follows is a brief construction montage. (shows SpongeBob and Patrick hammering on boards, ripping a sofa, pouring sand, drilling holes, filling holes with water, making holes, and taking Gary's shell off. Cut back to card) We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage. (cut to outside of house, with sounds and SpongeBob's house shaking. Cut to inside of Squidward's house)

Squidward: (grumbles, then gets so angry his sleep mask burns off. Puts three pillows on a desk and ties them to his face with a rope. But he still hears them, then rips pillows off and screams. Walks to SpongeBob's house with umbrella. Cut to inside, where SpongeBob and Patrick are constructing) Hey! Hello?! Nitwit, morons. (Patrick hits Squidward with a hammer. Screams)

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of indoor miniature golf! (course is shown)

Squidward: I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! Presently, I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap!

Patrick: But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. (cut to sculpture)

Squidward: I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna...

Patrick: Join us on the back nine?

Squidward: Just don't let it happen again! Or else. (leaves)

SpongeBob: Let's get this game teed off. [balls come out of his head, he catches them, places a ball and tee on grass] You're up first, my good man. (Patrick stretches and yawns. Then he stomps and ululates)

Squidward: I am warning you two, keep it down!

SpongeBob: Better tone down the calisthenics, Patrick. Don't want to upset Squidward.

Patrick: Can't wait to lose, huh? (aims, pulls back, and shoots. Blue-colored ball almost goes in the hole, but it ricochets back to the tee) NO! Ooh, if you would just let me finish my stretches, I wouldn't have missed my first shot!

SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Patrick, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. (places ball on tee) Besides, we're just playin' for fun, right? And back, and- (shoots red-colored ball, which goes in the hole)

Patrick: Nice shot. (moves blue ball)

SpongeBob: What are you doing?

Patrick: Moving my ball.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you have to play it where it lands.

Patrick: Fine. Have it your way. (moves ball back to original place and shoots. This time, the ball goes in the hole) Ready to give up? (bubble-wipe to a hole with a mini-windmill) Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, this is just a game.

Patrick: Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.

'SpongeBob: I think you're missing the point. (aims for a practice shot)

Patrick: Speaking of m-m-MISSING! (SpongeBob shoots by accident, startled by Patrick. Red ball fails to get past the mini-windmill) Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn. (shoots and his ball goes in the hole) YES! See if you can top that!

SpongeBob: (uneasily) Okay.

Patrick: (with microphone and headphones) SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey. (leaves. SpongeBob swings but stops) A pressure-packed shot to be sure. (leaves again. SpongeBob sweats and wipes his forehead, then shoots. Ball stops right before it's about to go in the hole)

Bikini Bottomites: Awww... (all whisper. Bubble-wipe to a new hole)

Patrick: Looks like we're tied, three shots to three.

SpongeBob: Three shots? (chuckles) They're called strokes in golf, Patrick. Not shots.

Patrick: Whatever. (shoots and his ball goes in the hole) AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE! That's two in a row!

SpongeBob: All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe. (shoots and his ball also goes in the hole) Right between the old wickets. Come on, bally, don't fail me now.

Patrick: Watch out for the water hazard.

SpongeBob: Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.

Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about.

SpongeBob: Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you. (shoots ball. The ball ricochets off of a picture, through the head of the Squidward sculpture and out the window) Oops.

Patrick: Show-off. I can do that. (shoots his ball. SpongeBob ducks and the ball goes out the window)

SpongeBob: Oh, where did our balls go?

Patrick: Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.

SpongeBob: (side of Squidward's house with a broken window is shown) Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point.

Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.

SpongeBob: But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!

Patrick: Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!

SpongeBob: Hey! Patrick. Patrick! What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?

Patrick: Okay, okay!

SpongeBob: Now, where is that darn ball?

Patrick: Oh!

SpongeBob: Patrick, have you seen by ball?

Patrick: Was it a red one?

SpongeBob: M-hmm.

Patrick: It might have been in the kelp salad.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you ate my ball?

Patrick: Don't worry, I'll get it.

SpongeBob: Patrick, no.

Patrick: No?

SpongeBob: I have to play the ball where it lies. (goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth) You'll need to leave this open. (goes back inside) Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore! (the ball goes through the wall and hits a lamp) Where's your ball?

Patrick: I don't know. Got to be around here somewhere. (ball is seen between Patrick's buttocks on the outside of his pants)

SpongeBob: There it is!

Patrick: Uh-oh.

SpongeBob: Play it where it lies.

Patrick: (angrily grumbling. Bubble-wipe to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp, picture, and through a wall) Hole in one! Top that!

SpongeBob: I could do that blindfolded. (Patrick hands him a blindfold. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, now blindfolded. Hits a door. Feels around to identify it and slams the door)

Patrick: Wait up! Warmer. Warmer. Red hot!

SpongeBob: (slams a door) Aha!

Patrick: Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Red hot! Red hot! (SpongeBob splits a table) Wait, My mistake. You're right. Oh, Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red hot. Red hot! SpongeBob, red hot! (SpongeBob kills a plant) Wrong again.

SpongeBob: Patrick... (takes the blindfold slightly off to peek out)

Patrick: Stop peeking! Hotter. (SpongeBob wrecks Squidward's house along the way) Hotter! Hot! Hot! Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot! Cold.

SpongeBob: Patrick! This is ridic... (sees Squidward's wrecked house) ...ulous. Wow. Squidward's really let this place go. (Patrick is in Squidward's bathtub. SpongeBob walks in) Patrick...what are you doing?!

Patrick: I was just freshening up. But these fancy fixtures are touchy. (turns the shower water on hot. Steam builds up around Patrick) Hot! Red hot! (turns the shower water cold) Ah! Cold! Cold! Cold! (SpongeBob turns the shower off)

SpongeBob: Would you please get back in the game?

Patrick: But I wanted to try his loofah. (pulls out a sponge-like loofah. SpongeBob pulls him out of the tub)

SpongeBob: Those balls have got to be around here somewhere. Oh, Patrick.

Patrick: Uhh, look a little closer, buddy.

SpongeBob: (uneasily) Play it where it lies?

Patrick: Play it where it lies.

SpongeBob: But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?

Patrick: All it takes is a little finesse, SpongeBob. All it takes is a little finesse.

SpongeBob: Okay, you're good to go.

Patrick: Fore! (wrecks top front of house) It's all yours.

SpongeBob: This one's for all the marbles. (Squidward is blindfolded and given ear plugs. The balls are placed on him)

Patrick: But I thought we weren't betting.

SpongeBob: No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game. (Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see SpongeBob and Patrick talking)

Squidward: (muffled) What's going on here? (screams. SpongeBob and Patrick shoot, landing the balls in Gary's food bowl and spilling liquid on him)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hole in one! (Squidward sits up)

SpongeBob: Good morning.

Patrick: Sorry we woke you.

Squidward: (muffled and stammering) Wha-What? (his mouth is shown, with no dentures)

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures? (cut to Gary, with dentures in his bowl)

Patrick: Good game, pal.

SpongeBob: Rematch next Saturday?

Patrick: Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine. (thunderstorm, by now just a typical rain shower, ends. Squidward's house collapses)

Squidward: (muffled) SpongeBob?!


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
<< Season 7 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 8 Season 9 >>
153a 153b | 154a 154b | 155a 155b | 156 | 157a 157b | 158a 158b | 159 | 160a 160b | 161a 161b | 162 | 163a 163b | 164a 164b | 165a 165b
166a 166b | 167a 167b | 168a 168b | 169a 169b | 170a 170b | 171a 171b | 172a 172b | 173a 173b | 174a 174b | 175 | 176a 176b | 177a 177b | 178
Personal tools
Namespaces

Variants
Actions
Navigation
Community
Content
Toolbox