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Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers
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Episode Article: Krusty Krushers
Characters
Dialouge
Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here and coming to you live from the Bikini Bottom Wrestling Royal Rumble Free for All. (Mr. Krabs comes up)
Mr. Krabs: Free?!?!?! Gimme, gimme, gimme! (He runs around, holding out and pinching his claws) Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! (He becomes aware that there is no money in the building) Gimme. Gimme. Gimme? (He goes back to Perch) Uhh... what do I get?
Perch Perkins: Heh, heh. Well, what you get is the most anticipated event of the wrestling season. (shows tough guys lined up) Hundreds of wrestlers from around the world face off against the heavyweight champs. (shows the heavyweight champs)
Wrestlers #1 and #2: (both roar)
(One punches the other one in the stomach repeatedly and other one rips the other champ in half using his knee and crowd is shocked)
Wrestler #2: (roars and throws the 2 pieces of Wrestler #1 onto the ring floor)
(Wrestler #1 gets up, looking unharmed)
Wrestlers #1 and #2: (both roar again)
Perch Perkins: Anyone who can defeat these giants will earn the championship title.
Mr. Krabs: (yawns) Big deal.
Perch Perkins: And the million dollar cash prize.
(The wrestlers are next to a green bag with a dollar sign on it. Wrestler #2 has his foot on it)
Mr. Krabs: Million... dollars... cash prize?! (rips off his shirt and screams then goes to back of line) Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
(The fight bell rings and a man detaches the red rope holding the line of contestants back only to get stomped on as they run towards the arena)
Mr. Krabs: Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money! Money, money... (hears contestants getting beaten up by the wrestlers) (nervously) Money...money...money. (stops as the rest of the line advances) Money?
(A medical crew comes and takes out the people in a ball)
Mr. Krabs: Ohhhhhh. [he quivers, looks upon the stage]
(A pile of contestants is on the ring floor)
Person: My leg! My leg.
(A janitor sweeps the pile from the ring)
Mr. Krabs: No living soul should have to suffer through what I've witnessed here today. Except maybe...
(Later, SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the stage blindfolded and they both laugh. Mr. Krabs guides them with a leash)
SpongeBob: Where are you taking us, Mr. Krabs? (they continue to laugh)
(Mr. Krabs releases the leash)
Mr. Krabs: Now go get them!
Spongebob: what do you think the surprise is patrick?
Patrick: I dont know. what do you think it is.
Spongebob: I dont know what it is! [they both get hit by the wrestlers] ohhh. whatever it is, its really big.
Patrick: And hairy. [pops out from one of the wrestlers chest hair]
Wrestler: [breaths on spongebob and coughs every time he gets blown on]
Spongebob: And it smells angry.
Patrick: Is it time to look yet?
Spongebob: You pick first.
Patrick: No you pick first. [wrestler squeezes spongebob until his eyeballs pop out and see the wrestlers and does same to patrick]
Both: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! [gets out of wrestlers hand and runs behind mr. krabs]
Spongebob: Hey who are those guys mr. krabs? They look like they wanna hurt us.
Mr. krabs: What? Those 2? ahhhhhh. There harmless. Its all just part of the act.
Spongebob: The act?
Mr. krabs: Of course. There just pretending.
Patrick: Pretending?
Both: We like pretending!
Mr. krabs: [laughs] Don't we all?
Patrick: can we wear costumes?!?!?!
Mr. krabs: ehhh..... sure.
Patrick: Hey spongebob how do I look?
Spongebob: Wow. Looks like those iron bun workout videos are really paying off.[shows patrick at home doing his bun workouts]
Patrick: I can even do it in my sleep.
(Scene cuts back to the wrestling arena)
Spongebob: Wow! Can we have cool nicknames too?
Mr. Krabs: Ohhhhhh, fine. (pointing at SpongeBob) You're the, uh, Short Order Boy, (pointing at Patrick) and he's the, uh, Pink Patty.
Spongebob: And together we are........
Mr. krabs: The Krusty Krushers. Now go out there and wrestle me up a million dollars!!! [they both go against the ropes and bounce off]
Both: [they laugh]
Spongebob: This is going to be so fun. yeah!
Patrick: whoo!
Spongebob: Yeah!
Patrick: whoo!
Spongebob: yeah!
Patrick: whoo!
Spongebob: yeah!
Patrick: whoo!
Spongebob: okay where ready.
Announcer: (looks at watch) Huh? Oh, yeah. Al, send the mike down. We got fresh meat.
Spongebob: Actually, we're here to fake wrestle.
Patrick: And to pretend wrestle.
Announcer: Whatever. [clears his voice] In this corner we have the challengers. The Krusty Krushers! (They both pull out a Krabby Patty and they chew it like they're tough. SpongeBob burps after he bites his)
Spongebob: ohhh. Excuse me.
Mr. krabs: you can do it!!!!!
Announcer: and on the opposite side of the ring, we have the undefeated champions. [shows one wrestler lifting up a barbell then the other wrestler crushes the barbell and puts it in a krabby patty and eats it then burps at the other until his skin rips apart]
Spongebob and Patrick: Happy buns, happy buns, happy buns [2 wrestlers go over them]
Spongebob: Did it just get dark in here?
Patrick: Dark?!?!?!?! I'm afraid of the dark.
Spongebob: Now dont be afraid. Its just them.
Patrick: oh right its just those guys where gonna wrestle. Hello fello competeters. [wrestler screams so loud that they fall to the ground]
Patrick: What was that?
Spongebob: Thats wrestilies for your dead meat.
Patrick: I dont get it. [wrestler picks up both of them and throws them]
Spongebob: Hey look patrick its mr. krabs cheering us on. [they hit the other wrestler then they fall in a bucket] Whoow.
Patrick: Hey spongebob.
Spongebob: Hey patrick. look patrick its a fist.
Patrick: A fist where? ohhh yeah thats definatly a..... [they both get punched more and more until they turn to liquid. one wresler gargles spongebob and patrick and spits it out in the drain. mr. krabs uses a plunger to get them out.
Both: yeahhhhhh!
Spongebob: how fun was that?
Patrick: It was so super duper fun. [they do a handshake]
Both: Boom!!!!
Mr. krabs: eh hem.
Spongebob: Did you need something mr. krabs?
Mr. krabs: oh. did I need something? hmm let me think did I need something. YES I NEED SOMETHING!!!!!!!! I need you 2 to get back in there and show them who's boss!!!!!! Show them what short oder boy and pink patty can really do!
Spongebob: Right!!! c'mom patrick, lets show these 2 who there messing with.
Patrick: with pleasure.
Both: Lets do this!!!
Mr. krabs: thats the million dollar winning spirit.
Spongebob: Alright you 2 no more messing around. you see this. [pulls out his spatula] is just a spatula right? wrong!!!! actually this represents your face. after i get through mangling it. [trys to bend spatula but can't] there you see that? its not gonna be pretty when I get done with ya.
Patrick: Hey good one spongebob.
Spongebob: thanks patrick. now you try saying something intimitating as well.
Patrick: okay. and if you think this is bad, wait till I get my hands on ya. [takes out a piece of paper] i'm gonna.. i'm gonna tear ya to shreads. like a ........ [struggles with ripping the paper] c'mom ahhhhh i got a paper cut paper cut. [starts sucking his hands]
Spongebob: Patrick are you okay?
Patrick: huh? oh i'm fine. i just like to suck on my hand.
Spongebob: Really me too. [they both suck on their hands. wrestler picks up patrick and squishes him into a ball. mr. krabs yells thinking he gonna get hurt but wresler takes the rope.
Mr. krabs: ahhhhhhhh! ohh. heh heh. now what? [gets rope and ties it to patrick. then picks up spongebob and puts the rope behind his back connected to patrick. then the wrestler pretends its a paddle ball. spongebob laughs]
Spongebob: That tickles. [other wrestler takes patrick as a ball and twists him]
Patrick: good catch!! [does same to spongebob]
Spongebob: look i'm a.........
Patrick: helicopter. [then they collide an turn into crumbs. then a wrestler gets a wagon and puts them in there as crumbs. wrestler puts wagon and them in a cement truck. they turn into cement]
Spongebob:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [crowd cheers. mr. krabs bites on the rope. drops them into deep spaces and they dry out. the wrestlers put there foot and hand there]
Spongebob: heeeeeeeee! [wrestlers both laugh and do a body slam. mr. krabs pulls them out with a spatula.
Mr. krabs: what are you doing out there!?!?!?!
Spongebob: fake wrestling.
Mr. krabs: okay, but you still have to try to win fake wrestling.
Spongebob: mr. krabs where having so much fun. dosen't that make us winners?
Mr. krabs: Actually it dosen't!!!!!!! okay, okay look just... [notices there gone] hey where'd they huhhhh!!!! oh no!
Perch Perkins: wow, now thats a serious sleeper holder. [shows spongebob in the arms of one wrestler about to go to sleep]
Spongebob: oh hello mr. fluffy. [then shows patrick doing the same thing. patrick does baby talk then puts them in a bed]
Perch perkins: and it looks like the champs are ready to end it.
Mr. krabs: end it!?!?!?!?!?!?! [crowd chants end it] get up, get up you guys!
(The wrestlers dig a hole in the sand floor. Wrestler #1 grabs one of the ropes and the wrestlers use it as a slingshot to launch themselves high into the air and through the ceiling of the arena. They wrap their arms together and spin as they fall and crash back into the arena. As they do this, Perch speaks.)
Perch Perkins: Yep. They're gonna leave more than a mark with this special move. The mother of all moves, the Flying Double Decker Atomic Headbutt of Destruction... with a spin.
mr. krabs: ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! c'mom c'mom wake up!!!!!!!! [patrick is dreaming of doing his bun exercise] ohh who am i kidding. goodbye money. goodbye money.
Wrestlers #1 and #2: (gasp) Oh, no.
Wrestler #2: Not Iron Buns.
(They land on Patrick's Iron Buns and crack, then shatter into pieces that are sweeped up by the janitor, who is whistling)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. here are your new champions.
Mr. krabs: new champions?
Perch: thats right skip. and the winner of one million dollars.
Mr. krabs: Hello money!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [starts hugging the money]sweet money
Perch Perkins: Or...
Mr. krabs: or
Perch: or you can take whats behind curtain number 2.
Mr. krabs: curtain number 2?
Perch: make all your dreams come true with 1 week at wrestle camp.
Mr. krabs: like the're really gonna turn all this money for......
Spongebob and Patrick: Wrestle camp!!!!!!! [they keep repeating it]
Perch: Wrestle camp it is. [guy vaccums up all the money then mr. krabs falls apart]
Spongebob: see you at wrestle camp mr. krabs! [they drop a wrestle camp hat on him]
