Episode Transcript: Squirrel Record

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This is a transcript for [[Squirrel Record (Episode)|Squirrel Record]].
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{{Transcript|Squirrel Record|Extreme Spots|Patrick-Man!}}
{{L|''[The episode starts with the Krusty Krab at nighttime, the scene cuts to the interior where we see Squidward sleeping at the counter with a magazine on his face, then an alarm clock rings, Squidward wakes up and stops the alarm clock, the scene then cuts to SpongeBob about to flip a patty and then Squidward pokes his head through the window]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|It's quitting time, SpongeBob. Go home. ''[SpongeBob continues to flip the patty]'' Quitting time! ''[SpongeBob sniffs the patty, Squidward takes out a megaphone and shouts in it]'' GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! ''[SpongeBob continues to ignore Squidward and flips the patty, he then looks at his watch]''}}
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==Characters==
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
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*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
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*[[Sandy Cheeks]]
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*[[Patrick Star]]
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*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
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*[[Sheldon J. Plankton]]
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh my. It's time to go home. Squidward, what are you still doing here?}}
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==Dialogue==
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(episode begins at the Krusty Krab at nighttime. Inside, Squidward sleeps at the counter with a magazine on his face, then an alarm clock rings. Squidward wakes up and stops the alarm clock. Meanwhile, SpongeBob is about to flip a patty when Squidward pokes his head through the window)
  
{{L|''[Squidward gets frustrated and screams, running out of the Krusty Krab]''}}
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'''Squidward:''' It's quitting time, SpongeBob. Go home. (SpongeBob continues to flip the patty) Quitting time! (SpongeBob sniffs the patty. Takes out a megaphone and shouts in it) GO HOME! (SpongeBob continues to ignore Squidward and flips the patty. He then looks at his watch)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[picking up the patty]'' What am I gonna do with you? I can't throw you away. ''[snaps his finger and puts the patty inside his wallet, then a smelly odor flies in and SpongeBob sniffs it]'' Bleh! ''[the scene cuts to the garbage can where we can see the smelly odor is coming from]'' But I do have to throw away the trash.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh my. It's time to go home. Squidward, what are you still doing here? (Squidward gets frustrated and screams, running out of the Krusty Krab; picking up the patty) What am I gonna do with you? I can't throw you away. (snaps his finger and puts the patty inside his wallet. A bad odor flies in and SpongeBob sniffs it) Bleh! (it is shown that the garbage can is where the bad odor is coming from) But I do have to throw away the trash. (cut to the back of the Krusty Krab. The door opens and a big smelly cloud of smoke comes out. It clears to reveal SpongeBob who is wearing a gas mask while holding the trash can. Walks over to the dumpster and dumps all the trash into it, then a book covered with trash comes up from the dumpster. Takes off his gas mask and picks up the book) What's this? Someone threw away a book. You shouldn't throw away books. (a big green slimy monster suddenly emerges from the dumpster. Screams at the sight of it. Throws the book at it, causing it to fall over. The slime dissolves to reveal that it was actually Sandy) Ooh, Sandy, you're a trash monster?
  
{{L|''[the scene cuts to the back of the Krusty Krab, the door opens and a big smelly smoke comes out followed by SpongeBob who is wearing a gas mask while holding the trash can, he walks over to
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'''Sandy:''' Heck no. I was breaking a record for rooting around in a trash bin. It's all right here in the Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book Of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records. (turns page) Look-e here, SpongeBob. Staring Record. 5 days. Most fries up nose. Holding your breath.
the dumpster and dumps all the trash into it, then a book covered with trash comes up from the dumpster]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[takes off his gas mask and picks up a book]'' What's this? Someone threw away a book. You shouldn't throw away books. ''[suddenly a big green slimy monster emerges from the dumpster. SpongeBob screams at the sight of it. He then throws the books at it, causing it to fall over. The slime dissolves to reveal that it was actually Sandy]'' Ooh, Sandy, you're a trash monster?}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Wow!
  
{{L|Sandy|Heck no. I was breaking a record for rooting around in a trash bin. It's all right here in The Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book Of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records. ''[turns page]'' Look-e here, SpongeBob. Staring Record. 5 days. Most fries up nose. Holding your breath.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Yes siree! I swear by the power of Texas, I'm gonna break all the records in this here book! (bubble-wipe to the Treedome) What's the next challenge?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Let's see. Ooh. World's longest tongue.
  
{{L|Sandy|Yes siree! I swear by the power of Texas, I'm gonna break all the records in this here book!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Well, that's easy. (bubble-wipe to Sandy's tongue, which SpongeBob is pulling) 106, 107...
  
{{L|''[the scene cuts to the Treedome]''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Hold tight, Sandy.
  
{{L|Sandy|What's the next challenge?}}
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'''Sandy:''' ...108, 109, 110!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Let's see. Ooh. World's longest tongue.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' That's it, Sandy! You did it!
  
{{L|Sandy|Well, that's easy. ''[scene cuts to Sandy's tongue, SpongeBob is pulling it]]'' 106, 107...}}
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'''Sandy:''' Yeehaw! (crashes into SpongeBob. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob reading the Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Hold tight, Sandy.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Let's see.... Yikes! Sweet mother of Pearl!
  
{{L|Sandy|...108, 109, 110!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Is it dangerous?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|That's it, Sandy! You did it!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, you could say that. You have to eat as much chum as you can.
  
{{L|Sandy|Yeehaw! [Sandy crashes into SpongeBob]}}
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'''Sandy:''' Chum, huh? That's not too bad.
  
{{L|''[the scene cuts to SpongeBob reading The Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records]''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Raw!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Let's see.... Yikes! Sweet mother of Pearl!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Raw?! (bubble-wipe to the Chum Bucket)
  
{{L|Sandy|Is it dangerous?}}
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'''Plankton:''' You want what?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, you could say that. You have to eat as much chum as you can.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' One order of chum, please.
  
{{L|Sandy|Chum, huh? That's not too bad.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Raw.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Raw!}}
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'''Plankton:''' Look, I know I'm an evil heartless mastermind, but no one can injest raw chum and survive!
  
{{L|Sandy|Raw?!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh yeah? Well, Charlie Mackeral, the current record holder did.
  
{{L|''[the scene cuts to the Chum Bucket]''}}
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'''Plankton:''' Really?
  
{{L|Plankton|You want what?}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' For 30 seconds.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|One order of chum, please.}}
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'''Plankton:''' Well, it's your funeral. (bubble-wipe to the Treedome. SpongeBob is in a toxic-proof suit. He grabs a spoon of chum and walks to Sandy who is cuffed)
  
{{L|Sandy|Raw.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' OK, Sandy, eat up.
  
{{L|Plankton|Look, I know I'm an evil heartless mastermind, but no one can injest raw chum and
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'''Sandy:''' Uh, SpongeBob, I changed my mummh... (SpongeBob shoves the chum in Sandy's mouth. Screams breaking free) MUST MAKE WORLD RECORD!!!!
survive!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oh yeah? Well, Charlie Mackeral, the current record holder did.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy, you did it! You survived! (chicken clucks, SpongeBob sees Sandy lying on the floor) Uh-oh. Hold on, Sandy! (takes off helmet) I know just what you need! (gasps and reaches into his wallet to grab a Krabby Patty) A Krabby Patty! (puts the Krabby Patty in her mouth and helps her chew and she rises up like as a rooster crows. Sandy coughs and gasps)
  
{{L|Plankton|Really?}}
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'''Sandy:''' I did it! I'm alive! I can't wait to show them experts the pictures of my record breaking feats.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|For 30 seconds.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh no! I forgot my camera!
  
{{L|Plankton|Well, it's your funeral.}}
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'''Sandy:''' What?! SpongeBob! I need photographic proof of my amazing deeds!
  
{{L|''[the scene cuts back at the Treedome, SpongeBob is in a toxic-proof suit. He grabs a spoon of chum and walks to Sandy who is cuffed]''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' I'll go get the camera.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Ok, Sandy, eat up.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Well, hurry up! I got record breaking to do! (bubble-wipe to later on)
  
{{L|Sandy|Uh, SpongeBob, I changed my mummh... ''[SpongeBob shoves the chum in Sandy's mouth.
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh my. (sees robots)
Sandy screams breaking free]'' MUST MAKE WORLD RECORD!!!!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Sandy, you did it! You survived! ''[chicken clucks, SpongeBob sees Sandy lying on
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'''Sandy:''' Got your camera?
the floor]'' Uh, oh. Hold on, Sandy! [takes off helmet] I know just what you need! ''[SpongeBob gasps and reaches into his wallet to grab a Krabby Patty]'' A Krabby Patty! ''[SpongeBob puts the Krabby Patty in her mouth and helps her chew and she rises up like as a rooster crows, Sandy coughs and gasps]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|I did it! I'm alive! I can't wait to show them experts the pictures of my record breaking feats.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' You bet ya! (camera is shown)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh no! I forgot my camera!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Great! Take a picture of me chucking this last woodchuck to break the woodchuck chuckin' world record. Ready, Cousin Earl?
  
{{L|Sandy|What?! SpongeBob! I need photographic proof of my amazing deeds!}}
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'''Cousin Earl:''' Let 'er rip, darlin'! (Sandy chucks Cousin Earl and SpongeBob takes a picture)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|I'll go get the camera.}}
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'''Record Robot:''' 100 woodchucks chucked. Record broken!
  
{{L|Sandy|Well, hurry up! I got record breaking to do!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Thanks for all your help, cousins! (cousins cheer) See you all next Christmas! Bye! (the woodchucks are sucked and spirited up)
  
{{L|''cuts to later on''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Sandy! What is all this?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh my. ''[sees robots]''}}
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'''Sandy:''' I've decided to go about this scientifically. I feel with careful planning and precise dedication of appropriate tasks, I can manage the successful completion of the maximum number of records broken in the least amount of time! Book! Picture!
  
{{L|Sandy|Got your camera?}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' (hands the picture) Here you go.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|You bet ya! ''[camera gets shown]''}}
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'''Sandy:''' Thank you. (places the picture. Giggles) So, what's next? Oh yeah, longest tooth. So hows the calcium fusion going?
  
{{L|Sandy|Great! Take a picture of me chucking this last woodchuck to break the woodchuck chuckin' world record. Ready Cousin Earl?}}
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'''Robot:''' It is ready, Mrs. Cheeks.
  
{{L|Cousin Earl|Let er rip darlin'! ''[Sandy chucks Cousin Earl and SpongeBob takes a picture]''}}
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'''Sandy:''' Outstanding! Here, hold this. (robot holds the book as Sandy administers the shot and the tooth grows. It continues to grow until she hits her head on the ceiling of the Treedome) How'd I do?
  
{{L|Record Robot|100 woodchucks chucked. Record broken!}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Please hold this end. (SpongeBob holds the end of the ruler as the robot stretches high) 35 feet. Record broken! (SpongeBob flies up to the ceiling and crashes making him fit in his helmet)
  
{{L|Sandy|Thanks for all your help, cousins! ''[cousins cheer]'' See you all next Christmas! Bye!  
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'''SpongeBob:''' Ouch!
[the woodchucks were sucked and spirited up]}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Wow, Sandy! What is all this?}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Take a picture.
  
{{L|Sandy|I've decided to go about this scientifically. I feel with careful planning andprecise delication of appropriate tasks, I can manage the successful completion of the maximum number of records broken in the least amount of time! Book! Picture!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Say "cheese"!
  
{{L|SpongeBob| [hands the picture] Here you go.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Cheese! (picture is taken. Saws a giant part of the tooth off of her top tooth and slides down) Picture!
  
{{L|Sandy|Thank you. ''[places the picture. She giggles]'' So, what's next? Oh yeah, longest
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'''SpongeBob:''' Here you go.
tooth. So hows the calcium fusion going?}}
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{{L|Robot|It is ready, Mrs. Cheeks.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Thank you. Next, spiciest chili gargle. (gargles on chili as SpongeBob takes a picture)
  
{{L|Sandy|Outstanding! Here, hold this. ''[robot holds the book as Sandy administers the shot and
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'''SpongeBob:''' Got it! You OK? (Sandy breathes fire like Bowser or Charizard. SpongeBob then sniffs) Do you smell soup?
the tooth grows. It continues to grow until she hits her head on the ceiling of the Tree Dome]'' How'd i do?}}
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{{L|Record Robot|Please hold this end. ''[SpongeBob holds the end of the ruler as the robot
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'''Sandy:''' What's next?
stretches high]'' 35 feet. Record broken! [SpongeBob flies up to the ceiling, crashes making him fit in his helmet]}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ouch!}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Largest rubber band ball. (SpongeBob takes a picture, as Sandy lets go of the rubber band ball. SpongeBob gets crushed)
  
{{L|Record Robot|Take a picture.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Woohoo! What's next?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Say "cheese"!}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Most cobras milked. (Sandy milks cobras)
  
{{L|Sandy|Cheese! ''[Sandy saws a giant part of the tooth off of her top tooth and slides down]'' Picture!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Say "cheese"!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Here you go.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Cheese! (SpongeBob takes a picture)
  
{{L|Sandy|Thank you. Next, spiciest chili gargle. ''[Sandy gargles on chili as SpongeBob takes a picture]''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' (nervous laugh) Nice snakes. (gets squeezed)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Got it! You OK? ''[Sandy breathes fire like Bowser and Charizard, SpongeBob then sniffs]'' Do you smell soup?}}
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'''Sandy:''' Next!
  
{{L|Sandy|What's next?}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Most walnuts in mouth. (Sandy gets a lot of walnuts in her mouth)
  
{{L|Record Robot|Largest rubber band ball. ''[SpongeBob takes a picture, as Sandy lets go of the rubber band ball, SpongeBob gets crushed]''}}
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'''Sandy:''' Just! One! MORE! Oh no! (spits out walnuts at SpongeBob) Next!
  
{{L|Sandy|Woohoo! What's next?}}
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'''Record Robot:''' Most chainsaws juggled.
  
{{L|Record Robot|Most cobras milked. [Sandy milks cobras)}}
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'''Sandy:''' OK, shoot!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' Say "cheese"!}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' (takes a picture) Got it! So uh, how do you stop?
  
{{L|Sandy|Cheese! ''[SpongeBob takes a picture]''}}
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'''Sandy:''' What?
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[nervous laugh]'' Nice snakes. [gets squeezed]}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' I said "How do you stop?"
  
{{L|Sandy|Next!}}
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'''Sandy:''' What?
  
{{L|Record Robot|Most walnuts in mouth. ''[Sandy gets a lot of walnuts in her mouth]''}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' How do you stop?
  
{{L|Sandy|Just! One! MORE! Oh no! [spits out walnuts at SpongeBob] Next!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Why, that's easy. I just stop and run like heck! (she and SpongeBob run) Not that way! (walks over to SpongeBob who is cut apart from the chainsaws) Come on, SpongeBob! Pull yourself together! We still got a ton of records to break! Oh yeah! You're gonna love this one!
  
{{L|Record Robot|Most chainsaws juggled.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' (putting himself together) I don't know, Sandy. It is getting kinda dangerous.
  
{{L|Sandy|Ok, shoot!}}
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'''Sandy:''' Come on, you don't need your helmet. This one's outside! Follow me.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[takes a picture]'' Got it! So uh how do you stop?}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh my.
  
{{L|Sandy|What?}}
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'''Sandy:''' There it is, the world's largest house of cards!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|I said "How do you stop?"}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' That's amazing! Get in front so I can take a picture.
  
{{L|Sandy|What?}}
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'''Sandy:''' Nah, let's get a shot from the top!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|How do you stop?}}
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'''Patrick:''' What the....? (notices the world's largest house of cards) Oh hey, it's Solitaire! I love this game! I take a touchdown! (ruins the house of cards. SpongeBob and Sandy scream as they fall from the top)
  
{{L|Sandy|Why that's easy I just stop and run like heck! [SpongeBob and Sandy run] Not that way! [Sandy walks over to SpongeBob who is cut apart from the chain saws] Come on, SpongeBob! Pull yourself together! We still got a ton of records to break! Oh yeah! You're gonna love this one!}}
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'''Sandy:''' What's next?
  
{{L|SpongeBob| [putting himself together] I don't know, Sandy. It is getting kinda dangerous.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Um, I think I smell Gary's sandbox better go clean it. Now! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house where SpongeBob goes to clean Gary's litter box) I think you broke a record today, Gary. World's Stinkiest Litter Box! Eww! (almost vomits) I'm worried about Sandy. She's got record-breaking fever!
  
{{L|Sandy|Come on, you don't need your helmet. This one's outside! Follow me.}}
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'''Gary:''' Meow.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh my.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' You're right. She does need my help. I must stop this madness! It's all that book's fault! The book is evil! The book must be destroyed! (SpongeBob walks into the Treedome and kills the robot to disguise; robot voice) Why don't you take 5? I will hold the book.
  
{{L|Sandy|There it is, the world's largest house of cards!}}
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'''Robot:''' Thank Neptune's gears. My wheels are killing me. (SpongeBob puts the book in his disguise but Sandy doesn't recognize him)
  
{{L|SpongeBob|That's amazing! Get in front so I can take a picture.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Hey! Where do you think you're going? Get back in line. I need every available robot for this one. Most Robots built and destroyed in a day.
  
{{L|Sandy|Nah, let's get a shot from the top!}}
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'''Record Robot:''' 656, 657... Oh, the artificial humanity.
  
{{L|Patrick|What the....? Oh hey, it's Solitaire! I love this game! I take a touchdown! ''[Patrick
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'''Robot:''' (notices the disguised SpongeBob) Oh no, you don't! We're all in this together! (SpongeBob screams)
ruins the world's largest house cards as SpongeBob and Sandy scream when they fall from the top]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|What's next?}}
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'''Record Robot:''' 679. Record broken!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Um, I think I smell Gary's sandbox better go clean it. Now! ''[the scene cuts at
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'''Sandy:''' OK, shut 'er down!
SpongeBob's house where SpongeBob goes to clean Gary's litterbox]'' I think you broke a record
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today, Gary. World's Stinkiest Litterbox! Eww! ''[SpongeBob almost vomited]'' I'm worried about
+
Sandy. She's got record-breaking fever!}}
+
  
{{L|Gary|Meow.}}
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'''Robot:''' Oh my!
  
{{L|SpongeBob|You're right. She does need my help. I must stop this madness! It's all that book's  
+
'''Sandy:''' What's wrong with you?
fault! The book is evil! The book must be destroyed!}}
+
  
{{L|''[SpongeBob walks into the Treedome and kills the robot to diguise]''}}
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'''Robot:''' My stomach feels funny.
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[robot voice]'' Why dont you take 5? I will hold the book.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Well, let's have a look. SpongeBob!
  
{{L|Robot|Thank neptune's gears. My wheel are killing me.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' Oh hey, Sandy. (robot groans)
  
{{L|''[SpongeBob put the book in his disguise but Sandy doesn't recognize him]''}}
+
'''Sandy:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing?
  
{{L|Sandy|Hey! Where do you think you're going? Get back in line. I need every available robot for this one. Most Robots built and destroyed in a day.}}
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'''SpongeBob:''' I came to save you from, from this book. I'm going to destroy it before someone gets killed! I don't wanna lose you, Sandy! (sobs) I don't wanna lose you!
  
{{L|Record Robot|656, 657... Oh, the artificial humanity.}}
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'''Sandy:''' Oh, don't be silly, SpongeBob. I'm done with that book! I've beat every record in here. In fact, I've been finding the author who verified my evidence.
  
{{L|Robot|Oh no you don't! We're all in this together! ''[SpongeBob screams]''}}
+
'''Author:''' Thank you. Yes... Oh my... well then... I'm afraid you've broken no records.
  
{{L|Record Robot|679. Record broken!}}
+
'''SpongeBob and Sandy:''' Huh?
  
{{L|Sandy|OK shut her down!}}
+
'''Author:''' This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You, however, have sent a brand new record: "Most injuries sustained while helping a friend."
  
{{L|Robot|Oh my!}}
+
'''Sandy:''' Good for you, SpongeBob.
  
{{L|Sandy|What's wrong with you?}}
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (cracks) Um, hooray!
  
{{L|Robot|My stomach feels funny.}}
+
'''Author:''' Say "cheese"! (takes a picture as the episode ends)
  
{{L|Sandy|Well, let's have a look. SpongeBob!}}
+
{{Transcripts/Season 9}}
 
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[[Category:Transcript]]
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh hey, Sandy. ''[robot groans]''}}
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 9]]
 
+
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob, what are you doing?}}
+
 
+
{{L|SpongeBob|I came to save you from, from this book. I'm going to destroy it before someone gets
+
killed! I don't wanna lose you, Sandy! ''[sobs]'' I don't wanna lose you!}}
+
 
+
{{L|Sandy|Oh, don't be silly, SpongeBob. I'm done with that book! I've beat every record in here. In fact, I've been finding the author who verified my evidence.}}
+
 
+
{{L|Author|Thank you. Yes.... Oh my.... well then.... I'm afraid you've broken no records.}}
+
 
+
{{L|SpongeBob and Sandy|Huh?}}
+
 
+
{{L|Author|This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You however have sent a brand new record: Most injuries sustained while helping a friend.}}
+
 
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{{L|Sandy|Good for you, SpongeBob.}}
+
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[cracks]'' Um, hurray!}}
+
 
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{{L|Author|Say "cheese"! ''[takes a picture as the episode ends]''}}
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Latest revision as of 18:44, 11 November 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Extreme Spots
Patrick-Man!

Episode Article: Squirrel Record

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at the Krusty Krab at nighttime. Inside, Squidward sleeps at the counter with a magazine on his face, then an alarm clock rings. Squidward wakes up and stops the alarm clock. Meanwhile, SpongeBob is about to flip a patty when Squidward pokes his head through the window)

Squidward: It's quitting time, SpongeBob. Go home. (SpongeBob continues to flip the patty) Quitting time! (SpongeBob sniffs the patty. Takes out a megaphone and shouts in it) GO HOME! (SpongeBob continues to ignore Squidward and flips the patty. He then looks at his watch)

SpongeBob: Oh my. It's time to go home. Squidward, what are you still doing here? (Squidward gets frustrated and screams, running out of the Krusty Krab; picking up the patty) What am I gonna do with you? I can't throw you away. (snaps his finger and puts the patty inside his wallet. A bad odor flies in and SpongeBob sniffs it) Bleh! (it is shown that the garbage can is where the bad odor is coming from) But I do have to throw away the trash. (cut to the back of the Krusty Krab. The door opens and a big smelly cloud of smoke comes out. It clears to reveal SpongeBob who is wearing a gas mask while holding the trash can. Walks over to the dumpster and dumps all the trash into it, then a book covered with trash comes up from the dumpster. Takes off his gas mask and picks up the book) What's this? Someone threw away a book. You shouldn't throw away books. (a big green slimy monster suddenly emerges from the dumpster. Screams at the sight of it. Throws the book at it, causing it to fall over. The slime dissolves to reveal that it was actually Sandy) Ooh, Sandy, you're a trash monster?

Sandy: Heck no. I was breaking a record for rooting around in a trash bin. It's all right here in the Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book Of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records. (turns page) Look-e here, SpongeBob. Staring Record. 5 days. Most fries up nose. Holding your breath.

SpongeBob: Wow!

Sandy: Yes siree! I swear by the power of Texas, I'm gonna break all the records in this here book! (bubble-wipe to the Treedome) What's the next challenge?

SpongeBob: Let's see. Ooh. World's longest tongue.

Sandy: Well, that's easy. (bubble-wipe to Sandy's tongue, which SpongeBob is pulling) 106, 107...

SpongeBob: Hold tight, Sandy.

Sandy: ...108, 109, 110!

SpongeBob: That's it, Sandy! You did it!

Sandy: Yeehaw! (crashes into SpongeBob. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob reading the Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book of Curiousities, Oddities, and World Records)

SpongeBob: Let's see.... Yikes! Sweet mother of Pearl!

Sandy: Is it dangerous?

SpongeBob: Yeah, you could say that. You have to eat as much chum as you can.

Sandy: Chum, huh? That's not too bad.

SpongeBob: Raw!

Sandy: Raw?! (bubble-wipe to the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: You want what?

SpongeBob: One order of chum, please.

Sandy: Raw.

Plankton: Look, I know I'm an evil heartless mastermind, but no one can injest raw chum and survive!

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? Well, Charlie Mackeral, the current record holder did.

Plankton: Really?

SpongeBob: For 30 seconds.

Plankton: Well, it's your funeral. (bubble-wipe to the Treedome. SpongeBob is in a toxic-proof suit. He grabs a spoon of chum and walks to Sandy who is cuffed)

SpongeBob: OK, Sandy, eat up.

Sandy: Uh, SpongeBob, I changed my mummh... (SpongeBob shoves the chum in Sandy's mouth. Screams breaking free) MUST MAKE WORLD RECORD!!!!

SpongeBob: Sandy, you did it! You survived! (chicken clucks, SpongeBob sees Sandy lying on the floor) Uh-oh. Hold on, Sandy! (takes off helmet) I know just what you need! (gasps and reaches into his wallet to grab a Krabby Patty) A Krabby Patty! (puts the Krabby Patty in her mouth and helps her chew and she rises up like as a rooster crows. Sandy coughs and gasps)

Sandy: I did it! I'm alive! I can't wait to show them experts the pictures of my record breaking feats.

SpongeBob: Oh no! I forgot my camera!

Sandy: What?! SpongeBob! I need photographic proof of my amazing deeds!

SpongeBob: I'll go get the camera.

Sandy: Well, hurry up! I got record breaking to do! (bubble-wipe to later on)

SpongeBob: Oh my. (sees robots)

Sandy: Got your camera?

SpongeBob: You bet ya! (camera is shown)

Sandy: Great! Take a picture of me chucking this last woodchuck to break the woodchuck chuckin' world record. Ready, Cousin Earl?

Cousin Earl: Let 'er rip, darlin'! (Sandy chucks Cousin Earl and SpongeBob takes a picture)

Record Robot: 100 woodchucks chucked. Record broken!

Sandy: Thanks for all your help, cousins! (cousins cheer) See you all next Christmas! Bye! (the woodchucks are sucked and spirited up)

SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy! What is all this?

Sandy: I've decided to go about this scientifically. I feel with careful planning and precise dedication of appropriate tasks, I can manage the successful completion of the maximum number of records broken in the least amount of time! Book! Picture!

SpongeBob: (hands the picture) Here you go.

Sandy: Thank you. (places the picture. Giggles) So, what's next? Oh yeah, longest tooth. So hows the calcium fusion going?

Robot: It is ready, Mrs. Cheeks.

Sandy: Outstanding! Here, hold this. (robot holds the book as Sandy administers the shot and the tooth grows. It continues to grow until she hits her head on the ceiling of the Treedome) How'd I do?

Record Robot: Please hold this end. (SpongeBob holds the end of the ruler as the robot stretches high) 35 feet. Record broken! (SpongeBob flies up to the ceiling and crashes making him fit in his helmet)

SpongeBob: Ouch!

Record Robot: Take a picture.

SpongeBob: Say "cheese"!

Sandy: Cheese! (picture is taken. Saws a giant part of the tooth off of her top tooth and slides down) Picture!

SpongeBob: Here you go.

Sandy: Thank you. Next, spiciest chili gargle. (gargles on chili as SpongeBob takes a picture)

SpongeBob: Got it! You OK? (Sandy breathes fire like Bowser or Charizard. SpongeBob then sniffs) Do you smell soup?

Sandy: What's next?

Record Robot: Largest rubber band ball. (SpongeBob takes a picture, as Sandy lets go of the rubber band ball. SpongeBob gets crushed)

Sandy: Woohoo! What's next?

Record Robot: Most cobras milked. (Sandy milks cobras)

SpongeBob: (laughs) Say "cheese"!

Sandy: Cheese! (SpongeBob takes a picture)

SpongeBob: (nervous laugh) Nice snakes. (gets squeezed)

Sandy: Next!

Record Robot: Most walnuts in mouth. (Sandy gets a lot of walnuts in her mouth)

Sandy: Just! One! MORE! Oh no! (spits out walnuts at SpongeBob) Next!

Record Robot: Most chainsaws juggled.

Sandy: OK, shoot!

SpongeBob: (takes a picture) Got it! So uh, how do you stop?

Sandy: What?

SpongeBob: I said "How do you stop?"

Sandy: What?

SpongeBob: How do you stop?

Sandy: Why, that's easy. I just stop and run like heck! (she and SpongeBob run) Not that way! (walks over to SpongeBob who is cut apart from the chainsaws) Come on, SpongeBob! Pull yourself together! We still got a ton of records to break! Oh yeah! You're gonna love this one!

SpongeBob: (putting himself together) I don't know, Sandy. It is getting kinda dangerous.

Sandy: Come on, you don't need your helmet. This one's outside! Follow me.

SpongeBob: Oh my.

Sandy: There it is, the world's largest house of cards!

SpongeBob: That's amazing! Get in front so I can take a picture.

Sandy: Nah, let's get a shot from the top!

Patrick: What the....? (notices the world's largest house of cards) Oh hey, it's Solitaire! I love this game! I take a touchdown! (ruins the house of cards. SpongeBob and Sandy scream as they fall from the top)

Sandy: What's next?

SpongeBob: Um, I think I smell Gary's sandbox better go clean it. Now! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house where SpongeBob goes to clean Gary's litter box) I think you broke a record today, Gary. World's Stinkiest Litter Box! Eww! (almost vomits) I'm worried about Sandy. She's got record-breaking fever!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: You're right. She does need my help. I must stop this madness! It's all that book's fault! The book is evil! The book must be destroyed! (SpongeBob walks into the Treedome and kills the robot to disguise; robot voice) Why don't you take 5? I will hold the book.

Robot: Thank Neptune's gears. My wheels are killing me. (SpongeBob puts the book in his disguise but Sandy doesn't recognize him)

Sandy: Hey! Where do you think you're going? Get back in line. I need every available robot for this one. Most Robots built and destroyed in a day.

Record Robot: 656, 657... Oh, the artificial humanity.

Robot: (notices the disguised SpongeBob) Oh no, you don't! We're all in this together! (SpongeBob screams)

Record Robot: 679. Record broken!

Sandy: OK, shut 'er down!

Robot: Oh my!

Sandy: What's wrong with you?

Robot: My stomach feels funny.

Sandy: Well, let's have a look. SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Oh hey, Sandy. (robot groans)

Sandy: SpongeBob, what are you doing?

SpongeBob: I came to save you from, from this book. I'm going to destroy it before someone gets killed! I don't wanna lose you, Sandy! (sobs) I don't wanna lose you!

Sandy: Oh, don't be silly, SpongeBob. I'm done with that book! I've beat every record in here. In fact, I've been finding the author who verified my evidence.

Author: Thank you. Yes... Oh my... well then... I'm afraid you've broken no records.

SpongeBob and Sandy: Huh?

Author: This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You, however, have sent a brand new record: "Most injuries sustained while helping a friend."

Sandy: Good for you, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (cracks) Um, hooray!

Author: Say "cheese"! (takes a picture as the episode ends)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 8 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 9 Season 10 >>
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