http://en.spongepedia.org/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Alchemist01&feedformat=atomSpongePedia - User contributions [en]2024-03-29T15:38:18ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.19.0http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Goo_Goo_GasEpisode Transcript: Goo Goo Gas2009-08-06T16:38:52Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<div>{| border="1"<br />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Krusty Plate|The Krusty Plate]]<br />
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<br />
Episode Article: [[Goo Goo Gas]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[Plankton]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Karen]]<br />
*[[Officer Frank]]<br />
*[[Officer Durado]]<br />
Customers:<br />
**[[Fred]]<br />
**[[Frank (cameo character)|Frank]]<br />
**[[Miss Shell]]<br />
**[[Dennis]]<br />
**[[Old Man Jenkins]]<br />
**[[Larry}}<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
(It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a pepper shaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer) <br />
<br />
Plankton: Ha! (He runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.<br />
<br />
Plankton: Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. (Gets the Krabby Patty from him)<br />
<br />
Plankton: How'd you know it was me?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.<br />
<br />
Plankton: Perhaps a pepper shaker was a bit obvious.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs onto the scene)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! (Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth)<br />
<br />
Announcer: (off-screen) 3, 2, 1...launch! (SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat)<br />
<br />
Plankton: AAHH!<br />
<br />
(Cut to the park. Plankton is on a bench)<br />
Plankton:It's not fair!I am so tiny and helpless.<br />
<br />
Sadie: Aww, look at you! You're so tiny and helpless!<br />
<br />
Plankton: HEY! I resent that! Huh?<br />
<br />
(Cuts back to show Sadie with her baby)<br />
<br />
Sadie: Why, you're so tiny and helpless that I could take your formula and you couldn't do a thing about it! (Takes bottle away from baby. He starts to cry until he gets it back) <br />
<br />
Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless...baby.<br />
<br />
(Cut to Mr. Krabs inside his restaurant)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (A penny catches his eye) Ooh, a penny. (He sees a trail of pennies) A trail of pennies! (They lead him into a phone booth outside.)<br />
Plankton: (We see some green gas appear around Mr. Krabs) I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! (He opens the phone booth, revealing Mr. Krabs as a baby. The key is right beside him) The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped. (Looks at Mr. Krabs) He's a little bigger than I imagined. (Mr. Krabs starts biting him) Ow! Ow! Ow! (releases him, but he can't reach for the doors)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, you're just too cute.(Laughs.)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Hello! If you're not making a total fool of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go.<br />
<br />
Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty secret formula will be mine! Hello.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Police! Police!<br />
<br />
(cut to the police taking Plankton away in handcuffs, but they're too big to hold him)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Those will never hold me! (jumps out of them) That was easy. I'm free! Free!!!!!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Squidward! I found this baby and it's not a baby! It's Mr.Krabs!<br />
<br />
(scene cuts to the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? You thirsty? (gives him some milk and he stops crying) That's it, drink up! (the bottle slips out of his mouth and he continues to cry) Okay, maybe you're hungry? Do you want a nice soft Krabby Patty? (flicks it away and continues to cry) Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of twenties?<br />
<br />
Plankton: (comes in when Mr. Krabs is smelling the money) Hands in the air! (Both obey.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Plankton!<br />
<br />
Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. (Sprays both, but Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby) What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal. (sprays again) It seems the second dose acts as an antidote! One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! (sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal) Or is it three squirts for baby, and four squirts for adult? Barnacles, I've run out of gas!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ehem!<br />
<br />
Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. (Mr. Krabs is about to throw him) Come on, come on! (throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air) I've got it!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (checking the mailbox) Better be something other than bills this time. (Plankton comes out) Plankton!<br />
<br />
Plankton: Peek-a-boo!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (running back in the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I can't tolerate your stinky gas!<br />
<br />
Old Customer: (farts)<br />
<br />
Miss Shell: That makes two of us.<br />
<br />
Old Customer: I don't do it on purpose!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh...another penny! Come to papa! Now were we?<br />
<br />
Plankton: This! (sprays him)<br />
<br />
Plankton: What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry? (Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen) What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Eh? What was that, Sonny?<br />
<br />
Plankton: Out of my way, Manuseulla! You're old and useless. (SpongeBob comes out of nowhere)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, old citizenry!<br />
<br />
Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! (sprays the gas on SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.<br />
<br />
Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Eh? What was that, sonny?<br />
<br />
Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Get him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Can't you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're right.<br />
<br />
Plankton: Victory is mine! (shaken by the sound of walkers)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! I'll catch up with you, boy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'll catch up with my knitting.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (hatches an idea) That's it! Gotcha now, little nitwit!<br />
<br />
Plankton: That was almost too easy. (is caught in a net) No! I demand you geezers release me!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The pinata party.<br />
<br />
Plankton: What?<br />
<br />
Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old. I want candy!<br />
<br />
(back at the Chum Bucket)<br />
<br />
Plankton: (mumbling) 1 squirt equals baby, carry over the 2 plus the square root of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.<br />
<br />
(cut to the Barg'n Mart)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?<br />
<br />
The Pink Fish: You mean the Kelp-O?<br />
<br />
Plankton: No, not that! The ugly drippy smelly thing.<br />
<br />
The Pink Fish: Are you talking about my baby, creep? (Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up running over him)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey buddy, is this made of real or artificial baby? (The Pink Fish runs over Plankton again)<br />
<br />
Plankton: (Cut to Plankton back in his lab. He is writing something on a chalk board) That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!<br />
<br />
Karen:(sarcastically) Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"<br />
<br />
Plankton: What is it now, Karen?<br />
<br />
Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all willy nilly!<br />
<br />
Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! (grabs the pack and points it at Karen)<br />
<br />
Karen: (gasps) Plankton, don't you dare! (sprays her and a calculator falls to the ground)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Karen! Speak to me! (the calculator types in "HELLO") It worked!<br />
<br />
(cut to the Krusty Krab, where old Mr. Krabs is drinking a soda)<br />
<br />
Plankton: Everyone say your ABC's! (sprays two people, who start crying) Now when you turn into babies, you stay babies! (sprays more people) Hey, Krabs, catch! (He turns into a baby. SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's wrong, little feller? (he is turned into a baby)<br />
<br />
(cut to an ceiling scene of the Krusty Krab, where there is a chaos. Cut to the bathroom doors, with a baby next to it. Squidward enters, along with a gas bomb. The doors open and he turns into a baby. Patrick is also turned into a baby)<br />
<br />
Plankton: My moment of triumph! (slips on drool) What the? Oh, gross! I command you to stop drooling on me!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Goo!<br />
<br />
Plankton: (Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and starts shaking him) Put me down! Stop it! I'm an adult!<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob starts biting him. he releases him and he lands in Patrick's diaper. Mr. Krabs is then seen sucking the Krabby Patty secret formula) <br />
<br />
Plankton: Huh? I don't believe it! Krabby Patty Formula! He's teething on it! Give it here, you big stupid baby! <br />
<br />
(Mr. Krabs bashes Plankton with the bottle) <br />
<br />
Plankton: Ouch! I've got it! Just like taking candy from a baby! Get it, Krabs? I'm taking candy from you! <br />
<br />
(Baby SpongeBob starts playing with the gas) Hey! What are you doing? (the gas releases and it sprays Plankton) <br />
<br />
Plankton: Uh-oh! <br />
<br />
(Plankton shrinks as the bottle squashed him and now he's inside a gray ameoba field) <br />
<br />
Baby Plankton: Ahem! Mama's evil little genius needs a diaper!<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 5}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_Lost_MattressEpisode Transcript: The Lost Mattress2009-08-06T16:34:02Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Shell of a Man|Shell of a Man]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Krabs vs. Plankton|Krabs vs. Plankton]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
*[[Nurse]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the Krusty Krab) Locked?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, is that you?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door but my back is killing like pain.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've never been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (cries) I'm... sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! me back.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So am I.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: That's okay, Squidward. You'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Cool.<br><br />
<br />
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay. As long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (lays on his mattress) Uhhh... that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter... like... (falls asleep)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (wakes up) What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (attempting to hold down fury) So, where's me old mattress then?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All... my... money... was... in that mattress!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo! (faints)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: And we got you a card.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I knew it!<br><br />
<br />
Police Officer: Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) uhh... help you do it myself.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow, he really does care.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What a dump.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick! You found it!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Over there, Squidward! Underneath that really big guard worm.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh. That figures.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Oh, no. This is horrible.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: What is it, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: This man has no insurance.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the worm.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why not?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Gee, thanks, buddy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: My pleasure.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke... the... worm. (the worm comes up from behind Squidward. Squidward screams as the worm attacks him)<br> <br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, go on.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar .<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Of course. Nurse?<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr. Krabs outside the hospital)<br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. In. Out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself the retriever.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the butt) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward and Squidward screams)<br><br />
<br />
(back at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes. Yes he is.<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital)<br />
<br />
(back at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We feel silly.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Come on. Do it for old man Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Give me that cologne.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Now get in there!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) What the...? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Trick or treat.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed like meat?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him)<br><br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_No_Free_RidesEpisode Transcript: No Free Rides2009-08-05T16:40:01Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de: Episodenmitschrift: Der Schrecken der Straße]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Dumped|Dumped]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: I'm Your Biggest Fanatic|I’m Your Biggest Fanatic]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[No Free Rides (Episode)|No Free Rides]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Mrs. Puff]]<br />
*[[Mother SquarePants]]<br />
*[[Father SquarePants]]<br />
*Realistic Fish Head<br />
*[[Boaty]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(It’s another day at Mrs. Puff’s Boating School as SpongeBob skids along his way to failing his driving test again)<br />
<br />
'''Narrator:''' Here we are again at the Bikini Bottom Boating School. Today is once again the day of SpongeBob’s boating school exam. But more importantly, this is the last test for the year, (cut to a shot of SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff’s car coming straight to the camera) and if SpongeBob does not pass this one, it means another whole year of boating school! (we see a static scene as Sponge crashes into the camera and glass breaks. Back on regular view, we see the cameraman has fell over and is groaning)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What happened?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Oh, nothing SpongeBob, you just struck another pedestrian. (writes on clipboard) Minus 20 more points…<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' How many does that leave me with?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Negative 224.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' How many more minutes left in the test?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' The test is over.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' That’s enough time, I can make up those points! (Sponge is about to pull into reverse)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' No, SpongeBob, you didn’t hear me! (the boat rams into reverse and Mrs. Puff screams. Mrs. Puff pleads Sponge to stop as Sponge knocks over a whole row of cones, knocks through a brick wall and crashes in front of the school’s main building. The dust clears)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' OK, Mrs. Puff, what’s my final score?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' 6.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' 6...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (raising arms slowly) Oooooooooooo….<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' ...hundred. (SpongeBob stops)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Don’t worry, I’ll be all right Mrs. Puff. Besides, this means that I get to be in your class for a whole ‘nother year! (he slams his fist down, which causes a piece of the motor to fly upward) Well, see you next Tuesday! (Sponge walks off and the piece crashes on Mrs. Puff. She inflates like she always does when Sponge crashes. Sponge runs out to his unicycle-like bike) Yeah! (singing) I’m gonna get my driver’s license and it’s only gonna take one more year, one more year, one more superduper year... (goes around in circles on his bike) One more super-spectacular, extra-magical, extra-fantastical year! (Mrs. Puff looks on, still inflated)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' (thinking) Oh, Neptune. Another year with him! Barnacles! Dirty barnacles! I’ve got to do something to save myself. Oh, there’s only one way out: a teacher’s ace in the hole! (starts to talk, when she does, she deflates to her normal size) Extra crediiiiit!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What was that, SpongeBob? (Mrs. Puff runs over and shakes him in joy)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Extra credit, SpongeBob! The extra credit! (laughing wildly) I still have a chance! I mean, you still have a chance.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What’s extra credit?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' It’s when you get credit for the things you weren’t able to do before.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (singing) Oh. (cut to SpongeBob at his desk)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Now, are we ready for that extra credit?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Extra credit!<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' That’s the spirit. So all you have to do to earn your extra credit and pass my class and never have to go anywhere near this school again, is to write a 10-word sentence on what you’ve learned in boating school.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' But I’ve learned so many things.<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Just pick one, I don’t care which. Here, I’ll help you get started. (SpongeBob writes what she says) “What I learned in boating school is...” There! That’s already seven words! Only three more!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (writing) L… e… a… r… (pencil snaps) Aw, barnacles.<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' What’s wrong?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Got to sharpen my pencil. (SpongeBob whistles as he walks to the sharpener. He then sharpens it multiple times to get just the right sharpness. Mrs. Puff begins to sweat. <br />
SpongeBob is finally satisfied and walks back to his desk) N... e... (pencil breaks again, he walks to the sharpener again, Mrs. Puff stops him, grabs the pencil and holds out a pen)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Give me that! Here’s a pen.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' A pen! One of the most permanent of all writing utensils. (walks back to desk singing) Gonna write an essay, that’s what I say. (SpongeBob finishes) There.<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Fantastic, let me see it.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait! I changed my mind! (scribbles some stuff out)<br />
<br />
Mrs. Puff: I’m sure whatever you’ve written is fine, just let me see. (SpongeBob jumps on top of his paper)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Don’t look! It’s not ready. <br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' It’s so simple, only 10 words! “What I learned in boating school is blankity, blankity, (her eyes grow bulging veins) BLANK!”<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I can do this! I can do this!<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' “What I learned in boating school is...!” “What I learned in boating school is...!”<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I can do this! I can do this! (starts to pant) Is it hot in here, Mrs. Puff? Why is it so hot in here? Aah! My hand is cramping, Mrs. Puff! Make it stop! (Mrs. Puff jumps on SpongeBob and forces the pen to push on the paper)<br />
<br />
Mrs. Puff: You only need three... more... words! (the desk finally collapses and breaks. Mrs. Puff reaches for the essay) Okay, let me see what you’ve written. (SpongeBob grabs on)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' It’s not ready yet.<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' It’s okay, SpongeBob. Show the teacher what you’ve written.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No!<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Give it to me! (the two pull on it)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No!<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Let me see it! (the page rips in half. Mrs. Puff grabs SpongeBob’s piece and attempts to read it) “What I learned in boating school is...” Uh... (on the page, it says ‘What I learned in boating school is how to drive.’ ‘School,’ ‘how’ and ‘drive are crossed out and below are pictures of a boat, Sponge and a jellyfish) Well, the rest doesn’t matter! (throws the two pieces on the floor) You pass! (laughs) You pass!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mrs. Puff, I don’t feel like I really did anything.<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' That’s how extra credit is supposed to feel. <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Really?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Besides, here’s your license. (gives it to SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' My license! (licks it) It tastes just like I dreamed it would. Mrs. Puff, I- (SpongeBob peeks out to see if it’s all clear, then slides through the window and floats to his new boat)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Boaty. (he runs his hand on the side of the boat and gasps) Boaty, you’re cold! (he stands up and lays his socks on the side of the door) Take my socks. (he jumps on the side and hugs it) Oh Boaty, I’m always going to take care of you. You’re the best boat in the deep blue sea! (he kisses the throttle lever, sighs, then falls asleep. On the horizon, a shifty dark figure runs by. It’s Mrs. Puff, wearing a black ski mask. She peeks over and jumps into the boat, checking to see if the coast is clear)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' I hope I still remember how to do this. (she takes out a purple balloon and blows it up. She then forms it into a balloon animal and snickers to herself) Oh yeah… (she starts the boat and drives off. What she doesn’t know is that she’s sitting on an asleep Sponge. He wakes up and sees the sky moving)<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, I’m driving! (the two notice each other and scream. Mrs. Puff skids off the road for a bit, then returns to normal. Sponge jumps up) Who are you and what are you doing with my boat? And why are you wearing that ski mask, when you’re not skiing! (gasp) Oh my gosh, I know who you are!<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' (nervous) No you don’t! You don’t know who I am!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes I do! I know that you’re a boat-jacker! I never thought I’d have to use this pepper spray. (takes it out. He sprays, but it’s pointed the wrong way and it gets in his eyes and he screams) Somebody help me! Somebody help me! (Mrs. Puff kicks Sponge out of the boat)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Sorry, SpongeBob, but it was for your own good. (we see SpongeBob supposedly running next to the boat, but he’s actually riding his bike. Mrs. Puff speeds up faster and loses him) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Give me back my boat! (Sponge finally catches up to Mrs. Puff and slaps his hand on the windshield. He grabs with both hands and jumps up. Mrs. Puff skids and swerves to get him off but he’s not budging) You’d better stop this boat! (Mrs. Puff slams the brake and Sponge falls to the ground. He’s still hanging on and running) I’m… not… letting… go! Nothing will stop me! Not even… (gasps. He sees a sign reading…) Giant clams?! (so, Sponge is dragged through a field of giant clams. He comes out with a bunch of pieces missing from him) I’m… not… letting… go… not even for… (gasps, when he sees another sign for…) Cheese graters?! (so he skids through the cheese graters. Now he’s just three yellow sponge strands with arms) If you think I’ll let go just for a little… (he then approaches the most dreaded sign of them all…) Educational television?! Oh no! (cut back to Mrs. Puff as she hears Sponge’s screams)<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Looks like that got rid of him. Now for some tunes. (she turns on the radio, which bears a striking resemblance to Sponge. It is SpongeBob, in the shape of a radio: his eyes are knobs, mouth the speaker, and so on)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' And now back to KRUD with all of your personal “you won’t get away with stealing my car!” hits. (Mrs. Puff screams as Sponge squeezes out of the box and jumps on <br />
Mrs. Puff. They get into a giant brawl and the car goes out of control. Two cops look on)<br />
<br />
'''Cop 1:''' Hey, look. (the car then flies off a cliff and straight for the squad car. The two policemen scream. While plummeting, Sponge and Mrs. Puff are still brawling)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I’d never let you have this boat! Not even if you were… (he rips off the ski mask, revealing who the culprit is) … Mrs. Puff? (SpongeBob babbles his lips in disbelief as the car crashes into the police car. Seconds later, the siren goes off. Later, SpongeBob is calling Mrs. Puff on the phone. Every time a person talks, it cuts to them) So, how’s it going, Mrs. Puff?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' Uh, SpongeBob? I’d like to… apologize. I never should have passed you. You really weren’t ready. <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' So, I guess I have to got to give my license back, huh?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting a new class Monday morning.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You kidding? You’re the only teacher for this student. (cut to see that Mrs. Puff is talking to Sponge from jail, through that visiting window) And besides, the warden said she’ll let you go early, if you do her a favor?<br />
<br />
'''Mrs. Puff:''' What’s that? (pan out from the jail exterior)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (from inside) Free driving lessons! (laughs) <br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Funny_PantsEpisode Transcript: Funny Pants2009-07-27T21:33:49Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Dunces and Dragons|Dunces and Dragons]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Funny Pants]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Sandy]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (opens his window) What do you want, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is <br />
<br />
laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's not that funny.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 Krabby Patties.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in SpongeBob's mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I am?<br><br />
Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been hurting?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that bad?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: My laugh box?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you wanna hear a joke?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Right foot first...<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!<br><br />
<br />
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. (tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What happened?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. (smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Come in.<br><br />
SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...?<br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.<br><br />
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money <br />
but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not really.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br><br />
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?<br><br />
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx <br />
causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sounds painful.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory <br />
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br><br />
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Narrator: Later that same evening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (hears SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I guess I did.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's hilarious!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him to the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Where am I?<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: So they cut it out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Cut it out?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ahh! Gimme that. (takes jar the jar from Patrick) Ohh! I can never laugh again?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, but, uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant part of theirs to you.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Nope.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Funny_PantsEpisode Transcript: Funny Pants2009-07-27T21:14:00Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Dunces and Dragons|Dunces and Dragons]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Funny Pants]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Sandy]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (opens his window) What do you want, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is <br />
<br />
laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's not that funny.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 Krabby Patties.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in SpongeBob's mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I am?<br><br />
Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been hurting?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that bad?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: My laugh box?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you wanna hear a joke?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Right foot first...<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!<br><br />
<br />
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. (tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What happened?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. (smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Come in.<br><br />
SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...?<br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.<br><br />
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money <br />
but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not really.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br><br />
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?<br><br />
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx <br />
causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sounds painful.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory <br />
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br><br />
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Narrator: Later that same evening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (hears SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I guess I did.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's hilarious!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him to the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Where am I?<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: So they cut it out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Cut it out?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ahh! Gimme that. I can never laugh again?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Nope.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Funny_PantsEpisode Transcript: Funny Pants2009-07-27T21:12:35Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Characters */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Dunces and Dragons|Dunces and Dragons]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Funny Pants]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Sandy]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the door causing him to wake up)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: opens his window What do you want, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar. (laughs) Squidward: More like another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squidward. (scene cuts to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is <br />
<br />
laughing) Another day, another nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's not that funny.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's funny because it's true! (laughs. Scene cuts to SpongeBob clinging on to Squidward’s legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: move over. (flicks SpongeBob off his legs and into the kitchen)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (peaks through the kitchen window) Nickel. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (brings food tray over to a customer) Here's your food. (SpongeBob is laughing behind him) It's not that funny! (slams tray down) Please make it stop! (SpongeBob is running into the kitchen then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a bunch of SpongeBob’s laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSE' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob’s face)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward, see ya tomorrow. (laughs. Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! (brings food to customer) 2 Krabby Patties.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Oh. (3 of them laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor. (SpongeBob continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and Squidward takes notice of this) This could be my chance. (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, you don't look well!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. You should sit down.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (sticks a cooking thermometer in SpongeBob's mouth) Shh, shh, shh. (feels his forehead) You're burning up, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I am?<br><br />
Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been hurting?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that bad?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (gasps) SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're gonna burn out your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: My laugh box?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. (scene cuts to Sandy walking up to Patrick)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you wanna hear a joke?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (in a lung capacity machine) Sure, I'd love a good laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! (Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob’s laugh is robot sounding. Sandy and Patrick walk away with a sigh of disgust)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't wanna burn out my laugh box, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! (later SpongeBob is walking out of the Krusty Krab) A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain vigilant. (looks over to his right) Nothing funny over there. (looks over to his left) Nothing funny over here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (notices banana peel in front of Patrick on the ground) Patrick, banana peel, don't!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd you say? (slips on banana peel)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, no. (tries to keep from laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, what the... (slips on banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! (Patrick slips on the banana peel again) Please stop!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Right foot first...<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! (Patrick makes a sound with his lips and SpongeBob runs away trying not laugh) That usually knocks him out. (slips on the banana peel again)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (runs behind a building) Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. (steps on a whoopee cushion) Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. (steps on another whoopee cushion. He gasps) They're everywhere. Everywhere!<br><br />
<br />
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! (pie truck crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big pie on top of the truck falls on the driver)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. (runs out of the Bikini Bottom city limits) There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe... (digs himself a hole to bury himself in overnight. It's now daytime) Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. (tries to laugh but produces a weird deflating sound instead) That's odd. (produces the deflating sound again) I've lost my laugh. Ahh! (runs back into Bikini Bottom) I've lost my laugh! Ahh! (knocks on Patrick's rock)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What happened?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let me take a look. (inserts his head into SpongeBob’s mouth) Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. (smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Come in.<br><br />
SpongeBob: (crying) Mr. Krabs...?<br />
<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I lost my laugh.<br><br />
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. (both look at money <br />
but only Mr. Krabs laughs) Don't it just tickle you, boy?<br><br />
<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not really.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (touches money) Nothing.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.<br><br />
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist. (later at Sandy's tree dome)<br><br />
<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?<br><br />
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: (pulls down a chart of the body) But scientifically speaking, its caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx <br />
causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sounds painful.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a bunch of books) Now, here's a humor theory <br />
textbooks, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again. (moans and groans into his pineapple)<br><br />
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Narrator: Later that same evening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (hears SpongeBob crying) I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon. (night turns into day as Squidward’s tiki plugs up its ears) What have I done? (SpongeBob cries a river into Squidward’s house causing it to flood him outside) Oh, that's it! This charade has to end. (knocks on SpongeBob’s door)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box. (sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward face)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, there is no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah. (both laugh) You really fell for it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I guess I did.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops laughing) It's really not that funny, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It's hilarious!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. (goes into his house)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (still laughing) Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. (has a laughter breakdown. Two paramedics come take him to the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Where am I?<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: So they cut it out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Cut it out?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? (holds up jar with Squidward’s laugh box in it) It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ahh! Gimme that. I can never laugh again?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant theirs to you.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Nope.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.<br><br />
<br />
Sandy: You're getting warmer.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (SpongeBob shows his scar) SpongeBob? (laughs like SpongeBob)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. (both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall) Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_All_That_GlittersEpisode Transcript: All That Glitters2009-07-27T21:11:02Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Karate Island|Karate Island]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well|Wishing You Well]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[All that Glitters]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(at the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
Customer: One Monster Krabby Patty, please.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Hmph, no one's ordered the monster patty in ages. SpongeBob, one monster patty.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) Did you say a monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Uhh, one monster Krabby Patty.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Customers: Monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Customer #2: (in bathroom) Monster Krabby Patty? (a set of real hands drops a huge meat pile on the grill)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, dear Neptune.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, boy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (puts his spatula under the meat) We can do this. At the count of three, we flip. Ready? One, two, three. ([[Spatula]] breaks in half) Spat? (SpongeBob screams in front of everyone while showing his spatula that is broken. scene cuts to SpongeBob at a therapist)<br />
<br />
Therapist: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on. (SpongeBob screams more. Patrick joins in and screams with him. Scene cuts to an ambulance taking the spatula away)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, we better get back to work.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Work? How can I go back to work without...without spat?!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Use another spatular.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (close-up of his face) What? There is only one spatula for me and this is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! (runs off to the hospital) I'm coming Spat! (scene cuts to hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed) Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together. (SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula)<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about... a replacement spatula. (SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry then turns back around) Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you, doctor.<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor whose searching for a role. Yes! Whoo-hoo! I am so totally gonna get this part! (gives a sigh of relief)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gives a kiss to the spatula and walks out of the hospital) Replacement spatula? How can anything ever replace...hey! Look at that! (notices a sign that says "LE Spatula iNSiDE" and a picture of a high-tech spatula is on it) Ooh. Looks fancy. So shiny. All those lines so sleek. What am I talking about? I don't need this. (walks off then reappears inside the shop in front of the spatula) Maybe I do need this. (his eyes are shaped as a spatula)<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: (in SpongeBob’s thought bubble) I would give serious consideration to... a replacement spatula. (SpongeBob reaches for the spatula but his hand is slapped away by one of the employees)<br />
<br />
Employee: Uh-uh. No touchy touchy the nice spatula. It's very very expensive.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
Employee: Of course, if you purchase this fine item, you may hold it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've got some loose change in my pocket, will this cover it? (takes out a bunch of money)<br />
<br />
Employee: Umm... (takes out a calculator and punches a bunch of numbers) ..no.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks a piggy bank with a hammer) How about now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (lifts up Gary's shell where there is a big diamond under it) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sells his house) That's everything I have. Now can I buy Le Spatula?<br />
<br />
Employee: Everything, huh? (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street where everyone is looking at him in shock) Evening, sir. Hey, Granny, what's shakin'? (walks into the Krusty Krab) Ooh, breezy today.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Nice outfit, SpongeBob! (laughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward. It was worth every penny.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's all the lollygagging about?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (still laughing) Mr. Krabs, get a load of SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: This better be good. (walks into the kitchen)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: soon everyone will know of your beauty.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Alright, what's going on in...ooh...don't you have any shame, boy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All my shame went into here, Mr. Krabs. (shows Le Spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Le Spatula. What in blazes is that?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma. (Le Spatula glows)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, what can it do?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Can it make me famous?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Anything you want and more. (pushes a button and the spatula spins)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, that sounds excitin'. Let me have a go at it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What? Are you going against your commanding officer?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's not that. It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: With that fancy machinery, I expect you to make Krabby Patties twice as fast.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs. In fact... (pushes a button and a bunch of spatulas appear)<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: Le Spatula 3000 at your service.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh, impressive. Well, let's see that thing impress me even more by bringing in more customers and more money in me pocket. (laughs and walks away with Squidward)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of. Ready to show 'em buddy? (all the spatulas go into hiding) Oh, it's okay. No need to be shy. It's always tough the first day on the job. (scene cuts to outside the kitchen)<br />
<br />
Customer #3: Uhh, can I get one Krabby Patty, please?<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One Krabby Patty, coming up lickity split. (tries to use Le Spatula but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction) Spat, is there something wrong, pal?<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: I would not dare touch such slop as how do you say Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But, but, I thought we were friends.<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: Friends with you? Ha! We are not even in the same social class. (jumps out of SpongeBob’s arms and extends it legs to land on the floor) Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook. (runs out laughing)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Le Spatula, wait. I gave up everything for you. We had something. (runs into the fist of Le Spatula)<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: What's this for something? Au revoir, peasants. Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon. (gives raspberry and runs out)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What happened?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties '''''WITHOUT A SPATULAR?!'''''<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Go to him. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers. (starts to cry. scene cuts to the spatulas hospital bed)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Spatula? It can't be true. It's too late!! (cries)<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. He's gone.<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm so sorry. (cries more)<br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. (scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) Spatula!! (runs into the infirmary) Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! (Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob) Spatula, what's wrong? (spatula shakes its head) But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr. Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry-y-y-y! Oh, what have I done? What have I done? (cries and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob #2: All that glitters is not gold. (as SpongeBob is still throwing a fit, spatula wheels itself away)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob cries all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen) I'll never find another spatula like him, again. (notices a spatula flipping burgers by itself) Spatula? You're back! (SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion) Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.<br />
<br />
Squidward: One monster Krabby Patty. (a real set of hands puts a bunch of meat on the grill)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. (SpongeBob arms come off) Doh! (laughs)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_All_That_GlittersEpisode Transcript: All That Glitters2009-07-27T21:07:28Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Characters */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Karate Island|Karate Island]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well|Wishing You Well]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[All that Glitters]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(at the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
Customer: One Monster Krabby Patty, please.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Hmph, no one's ordered the monster patty in ages. SpongeBob, one monster patty.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) Did you say a monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Uhh, one monster Krabby Patty.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Customers: Monster Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
Customer #2: (in bathroom) Monster Krabby Patty? (a set of real hands drops a huge meat pile on the grill)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, dear Neptune.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, boy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (puts his spatula under the meat) We can do this. At the count of three, we flip. Ready? One, two, three. ([[Spatula]] breaks in half) Spat? (SpongeBob screams in front of everyone while showing his spatula that is broken. scene cuts to SpongeBob at a therapist)<br />
<br />
Therapist: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on. (SpongeBob screams more. Patrick joins in and screams with him. Scene cuts to an ambulance taking the spatula away)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, we better get back to work.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Work? How can I go back to work without...without spat?!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Use another spatular.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (close-up of his face) What? There is only one spatula for me and this is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! (runs off to the hospital) I'm coming Spat! (scene cuts to hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed) Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together. (SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula)<br />
<br />
Doctor: There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. (SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry then turns back around) Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you, Doctor.<br />
<br />
Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor whose searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part. (gives a sigh of relief)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gives a kiss to the spatula and walks out of the hospital) Replacement spatula? How can anything ever replace...hey! Look at that! (notices a sign that says "LE Spatula iNSiDE" and a picture of a high-tech spatula is on it) Ooh. Looks fancy. So shiny. All those lines so sleek. What am I talking about? I don't need this. (walks off then reappears inside the shop in front of the spatula) Maybe I do need this. (his eyes are shaped as a spatula)<br />
<br />
Doctor: (in SpongeBob’s thought bubble) I would give serious consideration to a replacement spatula. (SpongeBob reaches for the spatula but his hand is slapped away by one of the employees)<br />
<br />
Employee: Uh-uh. No touchy touchy the nice spatula. It's very very expensive.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
Employee: Of course, if you purchase this fine item, you may hold it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've got some loose change in my pocket, will this cover it? (takes out a bunch of money)<br />
<br />
Employee: Umm... (takes out a calculator and punches a bunch of numbers) ..no.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks a piggy bank with a hammer) How about now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (breaks another piggy bank) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (lifts up Gary's shell where there is a big diamond under it) Now?<br />
<br />
Employee: No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sells his house) That's everything I have. Now can I buy Le Spatula?<br />
<br />
Employee: Everything, huh? (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street where everyone is looking at him in shock) Evening, sir. Hey, Granny, what's shakin'? (walks into the Krusty Krab) Ooh, breezy today.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Nice outfit, SpongeBob! (laughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward. It was worth every penny.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's all the lollygagging about?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (still laughing) Mr. Krabs, get a load of SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: This better be good. (walks into the kitchen)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: soon everyone will know of your beauty.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Alright, what's going on in...ooh...don't you have any shame, boy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All my shame went into here, Mr. Krabs. (shows Le Spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Le Spatula. What in blazes is that?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma. (Le Spatula glows)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, what can it do?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Can it make me famous?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Anything you want and more. (pushes a button and the spatula spins)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, that sounds excitin'. Let me have a go at it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What? Are you going against your commanding officer?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's not that. It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: With that fancy machinery, I expect you to make Krabby Patties twice as fast.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs. In fact... (pushes a button and a bunch of spatulas appear)<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: Le Spatula 3000 at your service.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh, impressive. Well, let's see that thing impress me even more by bringing in more customers and more money in me pocket. (laughs and walks away with Squidward)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of. Ready to show 'em buddy? (all the spatulas go into hiding) Oh, it's ok. No need to be shy. It's always tough the first day on the job. (scene cuts to outside the kitchen)<br />
<br />
Customer #3: Uhh, can I get one Krabby Patty, please?<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One Krabby Patty, coming up lickity split. (tries to use Le Spatula but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction) Spat, is there something wrong, pal?<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: I would not dare touch such slop as how do you say Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But, but, I thought we were friends.<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: Friends with you? Ha! We are not even in the same social class. (jumps out of SpongeBob’s arms and extends it legs to land on the floor) Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook. (runs out laughing)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Le Spatula, wait. I gave up everything for you. We had something. (runs into the fist of Le Spatula)<br />
<br />
Le Spatula: What's this for something? Au revoir, peasants. Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon. (gives raspberry and runs out)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What happened?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties '''''WITHOUT A SPATULAR?!'''''<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers. (starts to cry. scene cuts to the spatulas hospital bed)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Spatula? It can't be true. It's too late!! (cries)<br />
<br />
Doctor: SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. He's gone.<br />
<br />
Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm so sorry. (cries more)<br />
<br />
Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. (scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) Spatula!! (runs into the infirmary) Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! (Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob) Spatula, what's wrong? (spatula shakes its head) But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr. Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry-y-y-y! Oh, what have I done? What have I done? (cries and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob #2: All that glitters is not gold. (as SpongeBob is still throwing a fit, spatula wheels itself away)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob cries all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen) I'll never find another spatula like him, again. (notices a spatula flipping burgers by itself) Spatula? You're back! (SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion) Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.<br />
<br />
Squidward: One monster Krabby Patty. (a real set of hands puts a bunch of meat on the grill)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. (SpongeBob arms come off) Doh! (laughs)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_Lost_MattressEpisode Transcript: The Lost Mattress2009-07-27T21:06:16Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Shell of a Man|Shell of a Man]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Krabs vs. Plankton|Krabs vs. Plankton]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
*[[Nurse]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the <br />
Krusty Krab) Locked?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, is that you?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door but my back is killing like pain.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've never been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (cries) I'm... sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh good, I thought you were hurt.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! me back.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So am I.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We should get Mr Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: That's okay, Squidward. You'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Cool.<br><br />
<br />
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay. As long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (lays on his mattress) Uhhh... that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter... like... (falls asleep)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (wakes up) What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (attempting to hold down fury) So, where's me old mattress then?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All...my...money...was...in that mattress!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo! (faints)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: And we got you a card.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I knew it!<br><br />
<br />
Police Officer: Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) ...help you do it myself.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow, he really does care.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What a dump.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Over there Squidward! Underneath that really big guard worm.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh. That figures.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Oh, no. This is horrible.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: What is it, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: This man has no insurance.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the worm.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why not?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Gee, thanks, buddy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: My pleasure.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke... the... worm. (the worm comes up from behind Squidward. Squidward screams as the worm attacks him)<br> <br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes, go on.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar .<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Of course. Nurse?<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr. Krabs outside the hospital)<br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. In. Out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself the retriever.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the butt) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward and Squidward screams)<br><br />
<br />
(back at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Yes. Yes he is.<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital)<br />
<br />
(back at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We feel silly.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Come on. Do it for old man Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Give me that cologne.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Now get in there!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) What the...? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Trick or treat.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed like meat?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him)<br><br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_Lost_MattressEpisode Transcript: The Lost Mattress2009-07-27T21:02:24Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Shell of a Man|Shell of a Man]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Krabs vs. Plankton|Krabs vs. Plankton]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Replacement Doctor]]<br />
*[[Nurse]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the <br />
Krusty Krab) Locked?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, is that you?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door but my back is killing like pain.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've never been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (cries) I'm... sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh good, I thought you were hurt.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! me back.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So am I.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We should get Mr Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: That's okay, Squidward. You'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Cool.<br><br />
<br />
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay. As long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (lays on his mattress) Uhhh... that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter... like... (falls asleep)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (wakes up) What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (attempting to hold down fury) So, where's me old mattress then?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All...my...money...was...in that mattress!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooo! (faints)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: And we got you a card.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I knew it!<br><br />
<br />
Police Officer: Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) ...help you do it myself.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow, he really does care.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What a dump.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Over there Squidward! Underneath that really big guard worm.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh. That figures.<br><br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Replacement Doctor: Oh, no. This is horrible.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: What is it, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: This man has no insurance.<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ok, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the worm.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why not?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Gee, thanks buddy.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: My pleasure.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (growls) What are you morons doing?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...the...worm. (the worm comes up from behind Squidward. Squidward screams as the worm attacks him)<br> <br />
<br />
(later at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #1: Yes, doctor?<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #1: Yes, go on.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar .<br><br />
<br />
Doctor #1: Of course. Nurse?<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr Krabs outside the hospital)<br />
<br />
(later at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: No. In. Out.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself the retriever.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I <br />
needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the <br />
mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the butt) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward)<br><br />
<br />
(back at the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: Yes. Yes he is.<br><br />
<br />
Administrator Flotsam: Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.<br><br />
<br />
Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br><br />
<br />
Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital)<br />
<br />
(back at the dump)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We feel silly.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Come on. Do it for old man Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Give me that cologne.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Now get in there!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) What the...? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Trick or treat.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed like meat?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him)<br><br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=User_talk:CFPUser talk:CFP2009-07-27T17:33:52Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>==RE:Admin==<br />
You're welcome very much. ;-) [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 15:27, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
:Da im amerikanischen Raum das Prinzip des [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use Fair Use] gilt, ist hier eine Markierung nicht zwingend notwendig. Außerdem werden ja hier viele Bilder von der DeSP verwendet, auf deren Bildbeschreibungsseiten das Copyright vermerkt ist. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 15:35, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
==Images==<br />
Ich möchte in nächster Zeit mal wieder eine Bildverkleinerungsaktion starten, damit wir wieder ein paar Bilder hochladen können. Diese Riesenbilder in manchen Artikeln sehen irgendwie doof aus... [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 16:21, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
:Ich meinte ja die deutsche SP, aber da du gerade hier aktiv bist, schreibe ich auch einfach hier. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 16:25, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Sources for No Hat for Pat ==<br />
<br />
Hello! I am responding to your comment to DJ WikiBob. I am the one who discovered the "No Hat for Pat" episode. Here is how I discovered it:<br />
*At the end of the [[Toy Store of Doom (Episode)]] video there are credits for No Hat for Pat<br />
*There is a clip of the episode [http://spongebob.nick.com/videos/play/NTV_spo_nohatforpat_clip/ here] <br />
<br />
You may not be able to view the links if you are outside the US. If you need more proof, let me know.<br />
<br />
I do not know anything about "Patties with Eggs" though. --[[User:Darren|Darren]] 17:17, 20 March 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
I think I understand where "Patties with Eggs" may come from. Look at the credits for "Komputer Overload" and in the credits, it may mention "Patties with Eggs" Thanks! [[User:DJ WikiBob|P.S. I'm Wiki Awesome!]] 19:04, 20 March 2009 (GMT)DJ WikiBob<br />
<br />
I checked the credits and I didn't see anything about "Patties with Eggs." --[[User:Darren|Darren]]<br />
<br />
== Thanks ==<br />
<br />
Thank you!<br />
<br />
== Thanks ==<br />
<br />
Thank you!--[[User:Katz2|Katz2]] 00:53, 15 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== Delete ==<br />
<br />
I didn't know there was a delete tag. Thanks for telling me. I'll stopp putting ''NEEDS TO BE DELETED''. Thanks! [[User:DJ WikiBob|P.S. I'm Wiki Awesome!]] 21:01, 20 April 2009 (BST)DJ WikiBob<br />
<br />
== Fixing ==<br />
<br />
What do you mean?Couldn't you have made the images smaller?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:47, 11. Mai 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I wish I could just work here without people deleting my stuff![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:54, 18 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
What did that vandal change on my user page?Cause I wasn't here when you revirted it, I was in the German SpongePedia![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:07, 26 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Do you think I would be a good admin?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:44, 13 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Couldn't you just delete one of my other pictures and then I could re-upload the worm picture? -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:13, 15 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Unblock==<br />
<br />
Hi, could you unblock the Season 6 template? I have to fix something. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:25, 28 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Could you let me upload some images? I'm trying to help but I got that stop sign with the hand on it. [[User:Alchemist01|Alchemist01]]<br />
<br />
What does external mean? I don't know all this because I'm new here. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
I found some vocabulary errors in The Krusty Plate transcript, but it is blocked from editing. I need you to unblock it, so I can fix it. In fact, unblock all transcripts in case there's an error in any of them. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Can you delete the Image Alchemist01 uploaded, but please, don't block him!-- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 21:30, 6 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Hey CFP! Can you delete the image that Alchemist01 uploaded, but don't block him! -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:52, 7 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I see that you ''did'' delete it. I got a smaller version of the image so can I upload it or is the server still full? Because I'm working on an article about a character and I need to put in that image.<br />
<br />
How do I get it on here when I upload it?<br />
<br />
It's not showing up. I did the template. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Look, I don't know how to do it, just let me upload it. It's just one image. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Hey, can you block Thedrakester in the german SP? He blocked me, and since he is Admin all he does is block people and snarl them away. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:17, 14 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Vandal==<br />
<br />
There's a user named "Cloverbeatme!!" who is spamming up a lot of articles. You need to block him immediately.<br />
<br />
==Season 4 Template==<br />
<br />
Could you unblock the template for Season 4? Thanks. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 03:28, 22 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Could you unblock the template for Season 4 for me? Thanks. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:42, 25 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
You can protect it again! You can also protect the Season 6 template. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 19:33, 25 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==The Krusty Plate==<br />
I need you to unblock the transcript to [[The Krusty Plate]] so I can fix some problems. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
{{Users in SpongePedia}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_SplinterEpisode Transcript: The Splinter2009-07-27T17:30:51Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Burger braten verboten]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Gone|Gone]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Slide Whistle Stooges|Slide Whistle Stooges]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Splinter]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Peterson]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
SpongeBob: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Open for business!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Yahoo.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, can I do it today? Can I?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I suppose you can have the honor today, lad.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob turns the closed sign to open then laughs)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (counting money) 27... 28... (SpongeBob steps on Squidward's face)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Freshness, check. Buns, check. Fresh patties...check. Whoops, I'm forgetting one minor detail. (squeezes hat out of his head) Oh, yeah. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you? (eyelashes burn off)<br />
<br />
Note (from Squidward): 2 Krabby Patties. P.S. SpongeBob, you're an idiot. LOVE, Squidward. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Two Krabby patties. P.S., SpongeBob, you're an idiot. Looove, Squidward! Hah, love you, too, Squiddy. Two Krabby Patties, coming right up! (twirls Spat, but it gets stuck on the roof. tries jumping for it. he thinks. cut to a scene where a pile of stuff is stacked up to the ceiling. He tries to reach it, but it is unsuccessful. suddenly, some jars of tartar sauce from the pile break. meanwhile, SpongeBob goes up to the ceiling and reaches for Spat. he takes it off.) Wow, this thing was really stuck good. (puts it back on) Gotcha! (he falls, and is about to land on fallen swords) Well, I guess this is it. (he is saved by Spat, who gets stuck on a single sword) Oh, you really saved me! (he slips on some tartar sauce, and his finger gets run down on a splinter) Hey, a splinter! Okay, well it's been nice knowing you but you've got to go. Now. OK, out we go. (he cannot take it off) Ow! Oh, that kinda hurts. Ow, that really hurts. Oh, barnacles, this hurts! Conch shell manatee, this is painful! (tries to use Spat to take it off) Okay, you're tough, you're smart, you're charming, but you're still no match for me! Look! A bald eagle with a mustache! (tries to bite it off, but reveals his skeleton.) Okay, fine, stay. But I hope you like making Krabby Patties.<br />
<br />
Peterson: (talking to Squidward) Excuse me, sir, but I ordered a couple of Krabby Patties a while ago, and I'm wondering when they'll be out.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (plays with his tentacles) It looks like I'm crushing your face. (laughs)<br />
<br />
Peterson: So, will they be ready soon?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't move too much, it ruins it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (receives a crumpled note. tries to reach for Spat, but the splinter prevents him) Ow. Ow. Ow. You're making this a little bit difficult. Luckily, I am ambidextrous! (presses <br />
button on Spat, string comes out, and he ties the spatula to his nose. so he makes them.)<br />
Perfection!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (dinging the serving bell) Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. <br />
<br />
Squidward: I hear you! I hear you!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: OK, good, because these 2 Krabby Patties are ready!<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Can I ask you something?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (smiling with a calm, relaxed voice) What's that? [referring to the spatula tied onto SpongeBob's nose] <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's what?<br />
<br />
Squidward: You know. (flicks spatula tied to SpongeBob's nose)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Know what?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (in the same tone as before) This.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (same tone) This thing, here.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What thing where?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (same tone) The spatula...'''''TIED TO YOUR NOSE!!'''''<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! (explains quickly)Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I<br />
screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see?<br />
And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh?<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squiddy.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grumbles) Injury. Your brain is injured! (gets an idea) Wait a minute. Did you say<br />
that you got that splinter injury at work? <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no. That's nooooot good.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, it hurts so bad.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah, when Mr. Krabs finds out, oh maaan.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Finds out what?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Finds out about this injury.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean my splinter?<br />
<br />
Squidward: He'll be forced to send you home.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: H-H-H-H-Home? But I'm fine!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here, let me take this for you. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why? Hey, wait, I'm fine!<br />
<br />
Squidward: It was a good shift while it lasted. (walks into the bathroom. SpongeBob follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: While it lasted? What are you doing?<br />
<br />
(both walk into a stall. Squidward flushes SpongeBob's hat and spatula down the toilet)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: W-W-W-W-What are you doing? <br />
<br />
Squidward: I know it's hard to say good-bye.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But, but, but Squidward, I'm fine! (starts dancing) Look at me! I'm fine! I'm OK! Look at me, nothing's wrong! (takes some toilet paper and wraps up his splinter) See? See?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, I believe you SpongeBob, but unfortunately the rules clearly state that you must<br />
be sent home.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, anything but that. Please Squidward, you can't let this happen! (cries) You can't let the force be away! <br />
<br />
Squidward: Sorry, the rules are the rules.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob starts crying)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah, it'll be pretty quiet around here with Mr. Krabs sending you home early and all. I just hope we'll make it through the whole rest of the day without you here. (smiles)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob breathes deeply)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Please, Squidward! Don't tell Mr. Kra-a-a-abs!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? Me? Tell Mr. Krabs? Oh ,noooo. No, no, no no no no no. No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Phew.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, maybe. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: GAAAAAH! (holds heart emitting from his chest)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't have to tell Mr. Krabs...<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is relieved)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (leans close to SpongeBob's ear) ...because he already knows.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob's eyes open wide and his nose droops) (Squidward grabs 2 pillows and places them over his ears while SpongeBob screams)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He does?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs has preturnatural instincts when it comes to situations like this. It's almost as if when something's amiss in his restaurant (leans close to SpongeBob)<br />
he can smell it. <br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Squidward look out the kitchen window at Mr. Krabs, who is sniffing around. Mr. Krabs smells someone's wallet, and 2 quarters get stuck in his nostrils)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: These quarters smell sad. You're not planning to get a refill with them, are ya?<br />
<br />
Fish: No, I wasn't. (throws soda on the ground and walks out)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) You're right, Squidward! I need help!<br />
<br />
(shows SpongeBob dialing a phone)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up. (Patrick answers but doesn't say<br />
anything.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (taps his foot while waiting) Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness you're there. I got a splinter on my thumb and...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Mm-hm, mm-hm. I see. Well, I'm pretty booked today, but I think I can fit you in.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (opens back door with Patrick sitting in the dumpster with his phone.) Thanks, Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: No problem. (hangs up)<br />
<br />
(Patrick dives into the dumpster and comes back up wearing a doctor outfit)<br />
<br />
Patrick: (putting on gloves) You called the right person, Mr. SpongeBob. Now, let's see where<br />
the problem's at. (grabs SpongeBob's leg and inspects it) Hmmm...interesting. (sniffs his leg)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick...<br />
<br />
Patrick: (puts SpongeBob's leg in his mouth) Hmmm...interesting.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick?<br />
<br />
(Patrick plays with SpongeBob's foot)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this isn't helping!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry. (pulls SpongeBob's foot out of his mouth) I didn't realize you were a <br />
doctor. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm not!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, but I'm sure you can figure it out with your 12 years of med school.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, you didn't go to med school.<br />
<br />
Patrick: So?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry, I really need your help!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, no no, it looks like you have things under control.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Please, Patrick! I don't want to go home early! (cries)<br />
<br />
Patrick: OK. But we play by my rules, SquareBob.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob smiles and nods)<br />
<br />
Patrick: (as a doctor, inspecting SpongeBob's thumb which has a splinter in it) Well, here's your problem! Don't you worry, buddy. We'll make it go away.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Phew, thanks Patrick, you're a life saver.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (takes out a huge wooden spike and a hammer, placing the spike on top of the splinter and lines up the hammer, then Patrick slams the splinter further into SpongeBob's thumb)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ow! (SpongeBob's thumb swells up horrifically and grows ten times in size)<br />
<br />
Patrick: There appears to be a little bit of swelling. (Patrick picks up a lump of trash) This garbage compress should help that go down. (Patrick smothers the swollen thumb with the garbage. The garbage slides off of it and the area where the splinter is inserted fizzes a sickly green ooze and turns SpongeBob's thumb a dark purple) That doesn't look good. (Patrick's pager beeps) But my shift's over. Call me in the morning...if you can still dial the phone. (Puts hat on and walks away) <br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks back inside, but Mr. Krabs and Squidward are there)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What's that?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's what?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Behind your back?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean this? (pulls his splinter out from behind his back, but the splinter is covered by his hat)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Put your hat on, boy! Show some company pride!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (puts hat on) Haha, company pride, of course.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uhh.. SpongeBob? <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Have you always had 3 legs?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob has a sock and shoe over his splintered thumb to hide it) Yes...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (believing tone) Interesting... well what's this about a splinter that Squidward's <br />
been telling me all about?<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob panics)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: All right, boy, let's see it.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob gets scared)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob, it's just a little splinter. I mean how bad can it... (SpongeBob reveals his massive, swollen thumb which has a slight area of pale green fizz around the impaled center.) gah-gah, ai-ai, rah-AAHH! Oh, merciful Neptune!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (moans and faints)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: OK, no problem. No problem. (easily picks out the splinter. there is a brief pause and the tip of SpongeBob's thumb pops and shoots out confetti) Problem solv-- [a mass amount of pale green pus shoots out of SpongeBob's thumb onto Mr. Krabs' face, he makes gurgling sounds but takes out an umbrella as it dies down) Whew. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to pay you worker's "compersation."<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's worker's compensation? <br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You know, when you get paid for sitting at home.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (Squidward's eyes shoot open) You mean I can get paid while I'm at home?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, what did ya think "compersation" stands for? <br />
<br />
Squidward: (breaks the cash register out of the boat counter and slowly smashes it onto his head two times) Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uhhh...Squidward? <br />
<br />
Squidward: (throws the cash register up into the air and gets crushed by it, then squirms) Can I get my "compersation" now?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Whoops. Sorry, Squidward, your shift ended over 2 minutes ago.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Not_NormalEpisode Transcript: Not Normal2009-07-27T17:28:25Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Trasscript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"|[[Episode Transcript: Suction Cup Symphony|Suction Cup Symphony]]<br />
|align="center"|[[Episode Transcript: Gone|Gone]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Not Normal]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Patrick Star]]<br />
*[[Normal]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(night turns into morning where birds are chirping and SpongeBob laughs)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Ooh... What the... (groans) ...now?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: La, la, la... (Squidward walks outside to SpongeBob's house) La-la-la, la, la-la-la...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Stop! (SpongeBob stops) What could you possibly be trying to do this time?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just having a decent morning.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: By running around and screaming like a banshee?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, a banshee screams like this: (loud scream like an eagle) Ahh... (Squidward grabs SpongeBob's mouth)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: There are two kinds of people. There are people that are normal. (cut to an aquarium of fish) Then there's you. (pokes one of SpongeBob's holes)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Really?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yes, really! Maybe you should start being a little more normal! (walks away and growls) Doh...<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm not normal? (Squidward walks back into his house and crawls back into bed) Squidward? (sitting on Squidward) How does one become normal?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, how about you start by... (cut to shot of outside Squidward's house where Squidward kicks SpongeBob through the roof) getting away from me, you little creature!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's wrong with me? I need to understand normal! "How to be Normal". Hmm, this video should help.<br><br />
<br />
TV: Are you tired of being called a freak? Do people throw you out of their homes? Well, do they?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, yes, and yes.<br><br />
<br />
TV: Then join me as I take you on a "Journey into Normality".<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (tranfixed) Normaaaality.<br><br />
<br />
TV: The life of a normal person is rather simple. (door opens with a fish smiling and dressed professionally for work) Here is your typical average Joe on his way to work. See how he is dressed. (hair is combed neatly) Even his hair is boring. (zoom in on the dimples) Notice his features, nice and smooth without a crater or freckle to be seen.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (rubs his face) Craters and freckles?<br><br />
<br />
TV: In his office space, Mr. Normal, at least that's what it says on his name tag works at a steady and monotonous pace just as all the other normals do. Take note of how they communicate with each other.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Normal: Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
TV: At the end of the day Mr. Normal packs his things and goes home to merrily start the cycle again in the morning.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah...<br><br />
<br />
(cut to next day at the [[Krusty Krab]])<br><br />
<br />
Customer: I want one [[Krabby Patty]].<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, great. SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty. (bells rings as the food tray is presented to Squidward) What, no annoying blurbs today? (looks through the empty kitchen window) Hmm... strangely quiet. (walks into the kitchen to get a cup of water but as he is getting the drink, he notices the office space behind him) SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (typing on the computer) Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What's the meaning of this?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I took your advice. From now on, I'm normal. (shows name tag that reads "Hello I'm Normal")<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Normal, huh?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, really?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Whatever. I know you're just waiting to say something stupid.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wonderful weather we're having.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Uh, yes, it is.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay, see you 'round. (goes back to typing)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah, I'll uh... see you. (door opens)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing sitting around? We need Krabby Patties out there.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, sir. I'll do it normally.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey? (computer beeping. SpongeBob types up an order for 1 Krabby Patty and the machine comes out with one) Wow, that's all it takes these days, huh? Can you do more? (walks to the back of the machine as it shoots hundreds of Krabby Patties at him) Oh, my. It's like printing money. (cut to Squidward riding his bike)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I wonder what got into SpongeBob. And what the heck is that? (a normal house is sitting by Squidward's house) Whose house is this?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks up to his house) Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (slaps himself. Cut to next day at the Krusty Krab where Squidward walks into the kitchen and greets SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Good, just coming by to get a drink.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wonderful weather we're having.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: It sure is.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay, see you 'round.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah... (chuckles) See ya. (chuckles) Oh, my. (slurps) I could get used to this. (music throughout the montage of events happening, such as customers ordering and Squidward telling SpongeBob. SpongeBob delivers food onto tray and makes the patties out of the computer. Mr. Krabs watches on and jumps around with money in his hand)<br><br />
<br />
Narrator: Three weeks later...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: There you are, sir. (watch beeps) Oh, yes it's time again. I've been meaning to say this but I've come to appreciate your demeanor lately.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You know it's a funny thing, Squidward. I smoothed out the edges of my personality and the rest just followed suit. Now I am utterly normal. (cut to a customer biting into his flat Krabby Patty but all he is eating is paper. He takes it out of his mouth)<br><br />
<br />
Customer #2: Ugh, that ain't right. I will never spend money here again.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Never?<br><br />
<br />
Customer #3: Come on, guys, these patties ain't worth the paper they're printed on.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Wait, where're you going? (paper krabby patty lands on his nose) SpongeBob! What are you doing back here? Do you expect the customers to eat this? And now, thanks to you, they're leaving in boat loads. (customers are rowing out of the restaurant in boats)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Maybe this thing is out of ink.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (sighs) No, boy, you're missing the point. You can't make Krabby Patties with ink and paper. You gotta put your heart in it, boy. Now get back to making them patties the right way and stop acting so dull.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What you call dull I call normal.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, till you decide to start making them patties the way only you can I want you out of my place.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks out of the Krusty Krab) I guess the decision to be normal was more life changing than I thought. (walks up to Patrick who is reading a paper at the bus stop) Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What happened to you?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I got normal.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Whatever that means. Hey, SpongeBob, what do you say we charge into Jellyfish Fields nets a-blaze? (takes two jellyfish nets out of his pockets)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Let's do something normal like window shopping.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let's do this... (groans as he makes his head come out of the side of his stomach) Yeah-ha. Hey, your turn.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I think I'll pass. But I do need to defragment my hard drive. Would you like to help?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, listen. When you decide to do something fun you know where to find me.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay, see you 'round. (rings Squidward's door bell) Hi, how are you?<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: I never thought I'd hear myself say this but please come in, SpongeBob. (Squidward pours tea into SpongeBob's cup)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Tell me, what are you doing cooped up in here when the weather outside is so normal.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, today is dusting day. The day I dust my 483 self-portraits.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow, that's something you don't see in the average house.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: You know, SpongeBob, it's okay to be a little different. (slurps his tea)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: And you know what else is abnormal? Your nose -- it's all bulbous and flappy. Your eyes are a little odd, too. Looks like your whole face could use some work. Yeah, there we go. (SpongeBob turned Squidward's face into a real live Squidward face) See? Looking normal already.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: What the...?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One more thing, Squidward. You don't wear pants. (Squidward kicks him out of his house)<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: And stay out of my home! (slams the door then looks in the mirror and pokes his nose a little)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, what happened? I lost my job and my best friend and now I'm too normal for Squidward. Maybe I have taken this normal thing too far. No problem, SpongeBob. You made yourself normal. Now all you have to do is reweird yourself. All it'll take is a mental adjustment and some tight clenching. Now focus... (groans) and clench. (groans so much his eyes pop out) Oh, <br />
well, if I'm going to get weird I'm going to need to see a professional. (cut to Patrick's house)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (tongue is twisted around) Look at my tongue. (tongue un-twists itself)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: That's very nice, Patrick, but I need you to retrain me. I want to be abnormal again.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Huh, I don't think you have what it takes.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Please, Patrick. If anyone can teach me the arcane art of the weird, it's you. Teach me how to be me, again.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: It won't be easy but I'll do it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Patrick!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: But first, I'll need a garden hose and a flatbed truck and I'll need you to remove your trousers. (cut to people laughing at SpongeBob who is only in his underwear)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm feeling very self-conscious right now.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (spraying water) Try to concentrate on your first lesson in weird. (throws SpongeBob onto the streak of water) See you on the other side, buddy! (SpongeBob grunts as both Patrick and SpongeBob are sliding on a water trail that lead to a ramp on a flatbed truck that launches them into the Bikini Bottom zoo)<br><br />
<br />
Kid: Mommy, mommy... what are those things?<br><br />
<br />
Mom: Those are undesirables, honey. We only talk to normal people. (mom and two kids walk off)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, the weird therapy is working. Your craters are coming back. We just have to keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger. (cut to Jellyfish Fields where SpongeBob is riding on Patrick's back like a horse and catches a jellyfish in the net. Another crater comes back. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick licking the sand and as SpongeBob is licking, his nose grows back to normal size. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob standing on their hands) Talk backwards.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Tap erus uoy era? (SpongeBob's legs and arms are back to normal. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick eating secret Krabby sauce with their feet. SpongeBob's teeth appear. But then something is happening to SpongeBob)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What's happening? The final transformation. (SpongeBob transforms back into his normal state)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What happened?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I don't know. I guess I became permanently normal.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: No!! (starts crying)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (crying) I don't wanna be normal. (knock on door)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Go away!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Normal is not worth it.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: We're in mourning.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: (Patrick's rock begins to open, Squidward is in a normal state) Hi, how are you? (SpongeBob is so scared and shocked at how Squidward looks that he screams himself back into his weird self)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're back to your square shape.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow, I guess Squidward's normal looks scared me back to my original form. Thanks, buddy, you saved my life.<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: Wonderful weather we're having, hmm?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It sure is, buddy. It sure is. (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=User_talk:SpongebobsquarepantsUser talk:Spongebobsquarepants2009-07-23T17:03:09Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div><div style= "border:2px solid #dfdfdf; background-color: #AADEAD; padding: 0 5px 5px 10px; margin: 0 5px 10px 0; -moz- border-radius:10px"><br />
<br />
== Introduction ==<br />
This is where you can talk to me. I'm usually either playing on my computer, or traveling.<br />
<br />
Or go [http://xat.com/SpongePedia here!]<br />
<br />
== Rules ==<br />
Before you add a message, please read these rules.<br />
*<code> Please read all rules. </code><br />
*<code> Please, be honest. </code><br />
*<code> No pointless writing. </code><br />
*<code> Sign your comments with these: <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki></code><br />
*<code> If you are going to put something on here and it is inappropiate, please do '''NOT''' put it on here at all. </code><br />
*<code> Only refer to me as Spongebobsquarepants or Codyrox or a name I'll let you call me. </code><br />
*<code> Do not put any offensive stuff on here. I'll tell an administrator about it if you do. </code><br />
*<code> Also, do not put on here anything that would offend me or another user. It will be an infinite block by an administrator. </code><br />
*<code> A bad word used will also be an infinite block by an administrator. </code><br />
*<code> Obey all rules. </code><br />
<br />
== RE: ==<br />
Actually, it's been censored and had to be mentioned due to what the episode is about. So long as it's censored, it's acceptable. [[User:Stormy41992|Stormy41992]] 17:52, 24 December 2008 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Games articles ==<br />
<br />
Hi, why do you want the articles to be blocked? [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 20:38, 13 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== What? ==<br />
What dot things? What dot things are you talking about? Thanks :) --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk ]]</sup> 05:53, 20 February 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Fanart, thingy ==<br />
<br />
Hello Mr SpongeBob! You want to make a second fanart page, well maybe that is a good idea. There are many books of fanart but as they go down to books 6, 7 and 8 they lack in content. If you want to put fanart, then add to them. but why have 2 pages if they are actually very small in content? If you can give me some more info about this then we will think about it, but thankyou for coming up with ideas, we need people like you! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk ]]</sup> 07:04, 25 February 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
Hello again! There are many trivial thongs on SpongeBob. But most of them are just people being lazy, I guess people cant be bothered fixing minr things, only people like SpongePedians pick them up! Quite a few trivia/goof things are simply ways to put in bits of info that you don;t know, or make a link to an unpopular/ophaned article! thankyou.<br />
<br />
PS: Also I see that you like Basketball, here in Australia, Basketball is not as popular as AFL (Australian Rules Football), but lots of kids love basketball, like me! Here is a little link to some things that happen in football, I'm sure you Americans would love to know about this legendary game. Tell me what you think!<br />
<br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Jezza.jpg - This mark is said to be one of the greatest marks of all time.<br />
<br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Moorcroft_-_2001_mark.jpg - I think this is the best mark in the world.<br />
<br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:As-east.jpg - This is Port Adelaide Power's (my favourite team) home ground, Aami Stadium in South Australia where I live. Tis ground is also home to the Adelaide Crows.<br />
<br />
--[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk ]]</sup> 07:21, 25 February 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Age ==<br />
Hi, SpongeBob is definitely not 10 years old. If that was so then how could he get a job at 0 years old? exactly. Also it unclearly states in some episodes that he is a young adult, so is Patrick. Then Squidward is older then Mr. Krabs is like a grandparent. Thanks. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk ]]</sup> 06:02, 20 March 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Credits ==<br />
Hello, please don't add credits to the episodes. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 17:00, 24 March 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Nah you won't get blocked ==<br />
You won't get blocked for that. To make templates, look at the top of my page a look for all the techy stuff. Thats how I made mine, I copied it from other websites. It's wiki coding. By the way: garfield is a comic mainly, but SPONGEBOB IS NOT 10! I promise to you he is at least 20. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk ]]</sup> 23:48, 25 March 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
:Becoming an admin is nearly impossible. You have to make hundreds of quality edits, fix stuff, revert vandalism, make big pages (with images), not argue, be nice and do many other stuff. we probably won't have a new admin for ages. yes I did lock the Slogan so people do not vandalize. All SpongePedia pages and categories are protected, they need to be. Same with templates. Your template has been deleted (your request). Thanks mate! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 07:00, 31 March 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:No problems! BST and GST are different time zones. It has something to do where you live. It gives you some understanding in what time it is in other countries. I don't really understand it, don't worry about it :) --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 23:41, 3 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
::Yeah I just saw that, its a bit disturbing! Some of it is sorta funny, especially the stuff about other shows such as Hannah montana and iCarly. Don't worry bout it. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 03:56, 11 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==No age==<br />
You can be any age to join, plus, there is no sensor for age, look at things like MySpace and Facebook, you need to be over 14 yet people STILL use it! No limit. By the way, nice new article! I'm gonna make it look like a DVD article though, I'm gonna put the template on it, and DVD-afie it! Good work! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 03:15, 12 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== 10 Happiest moments DVD cover ==<br />
<br />
Here, if you didn't already get this image, here it is.<br />
Image:10 Happiest Moments.jpg [[User:Spongyfan117|Spongyfan117]] 05:18, 12 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I see the image has been uploaded by Spongyfan117. Thank him! If you want an image on the site, then upload it! Make sure the file size is small though :D --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 08:32, 12 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== RE from [[User:Andrewrox]] ==<br />
<br />
I see that yor story has been fixed! The Pest of the West DVD has been fixed! Thanks for pointing those out. A new slogan? Hmm, I'll think about that. Good ideas. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 00:14, 13 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:You need a translator to do all that. but it's not worth creating an account there. I have 1, but I don't edit there! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 00:15, 13 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Don;t worry about it, just don't do that again, don't make other accounts, it is pointless. Thanks. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 06:41, 14 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:Why would you talk to urself posing as a new user with Pestofthewest? Why would you welcome the "New user"? I never understood that.<br />
<br />
It's not actually my choice. It is myotis' choice. Ask him, I don't think your ready, not in an offensive way, but in an inexperienced way. I don't know really, check with Myotis. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 08:59, 17 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Go talk to him now, its fixed.--[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 03:58, 18 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I don't think it is worth doing Article of the Month again, It's not really worth it. Thanks! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 07:37, 21 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
That is strange, because when I checked it, it was fine! maybe check your computer, it may not be reading the images properly. With the slogan, I recon it is fine as it is, because there has NOT been many new articles lately, and there won't be as many anymore. Plus, heaps of people come on the site and make articles that have 17 words in it, that is just pointless. :)--[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 01:29, 22 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:Hey, i told you NOT to Article of the Month. why have you gone ahead and done it? It really is pointless. Tanks! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 01:37, 22 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Name==<br />
Cody is a cool name. Just keep ur original name, this one is fine! I can't delete the user, but I can delete the pages. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 06:17, 23 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:Hey, mate, I won't block you for things like that. Chill, its fine. We just won't have it yet, it's quite hard for me to update it every week. Featured article is ok for now. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 04:54, 24 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:: I sure will! In a couple days I will. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 05:18, 24 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== New Fanart: S14 ==<br />
<br />
I see that you made an episode that had Jon in it. Thank you for at least making your own episode.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks!--[[User:75.72.165.51|75.72.165.51]] 14:56, 24 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Hmm==<br />
I don't know about the secret message, I really don't think it would scare anyone. plus, it would be too much work. <br />
<br />
You get blocked by:<br />
*Disobeying Orders<br />
*Vandalism/Spam<br />
*Disrespect Towards Admins<br />
*Mis-use of things.<br />
<br />
I will protect your page now.<br />
<br />
==?==<br />
I don't know what would happen. It would be plain stupid. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 02:03, 25 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Kinda like Patrick? --[[User:Spongebobsquarepants|Codyrox]] 17:07, 25 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Attack==<br />
Yesh I know it is so stupid. I see, Codyrox! Of course you can be my friend. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 02:57, 26 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I know it is very annoying. Sooner or later ppl will get bored. I will black any IP that does Anything stupid. I don't care if they only change a word, they will be gone forever. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 04:31, 26 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Vandalism==<br />
<br />
Can you tell andrewrow to block the vandals that are just bringing me off the deep end![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 20:48, 28 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==The Vandals are Back!==<br />
<br />
The vandals are back for revenge!They infilltrate any page they get in site.I just found loads of it and i hate it![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 12:39, 3 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Dunno==<br />
I don't know what is wrong there, I'll see what I can do. it could take some time though. Thanks for noticing! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 08:46, 4 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:Happy birthday for then! I do it by changing the pixels. [[Foofy|check it out]].--[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 09:12, 5 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== Re: User Talk: Darknut255 - Section Hmm... ==<br />
<br />
Yes I am a new user [[User: Spongebobsquarepants | Codyrox]], See Ya! --[[User: Darknut255 | 255]]23:17, 7 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
How was your birthday?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:06, 12 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Happy birthday! Welcome back! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 08:40, 13 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Hey==<br />
Sorry I havent replied in a while, I've been extremely busy. I have no idea what it wrong with the images, and I cannot fix em. Use SpongeNews to give us news! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 11:00, 26 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
:It is now working. I think her name was revealed in a season 5 episode! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 09:02, 29 May 2009 (BST) <br />
<br />
==Hi==<br />
<br />
Did you say that you wanted to join my new wiki?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 19:00, 30 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Wiki==<br />
<br />
Sure.The address for my new wikia is www.Spongebobtv.wikia.com.[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 21:00, 31 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
What age has no text? --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 08:40, 1 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Sure.I'll fix the image.[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 11:15, 1 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Pineapple Fever==<br />
<br />
Isn't Pineapple Fever coming today?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:06, 2 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
It's an episode.P.S. Are you still coming to my new wikia?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:12, 2 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Name==<br />
<br />
What's your user name?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:17, 2 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I've never seen you there.When did you log in?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:22, 2 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Sorry==<br />
<br />
Sorry.In a minute I have to do my homework.I'll see you at 6 o'clock.P.S. Thanks for putting Me on your friends list![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:28, 2 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
You're not blocked. If you were blocked, you wouldn't be able to write on my talk page. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 09:16, 23 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==reply from my talk page==<br />
<br />
Yes-im quite am. I only joined 1 week ago.--[[User:123pop99|123pop99]] 20:49, 23 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== Friends? ==<br />
<br />
Hey dude, it's DJ. Say, do you want to be friends? [[User:DJ WikiBob|P.S. I'm Wiki Awesome!]] 01:57, 4 July 2009 (BST)DJ WikiBob<br />
<br />
==Really==<br />
Who says this? That is great! --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 03:48, 14 July 2009 (BST)<br />
:You can make the article if you want, but there will be no pic for it. If you make the article, you will need to link the article on other pages. Season 1, 2 and 3 are protected, so if you tell me the episodes he was in, I can help. Also, make any changes you want to Season 4, becuase I'm going to protect the episodes.--[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 05:51, 15 July 2009 (BST)<br />
::I'm from the Land Down Under! Australia! It's a great country (no offense!). No SpongeBob Bash for us, but all week there have been new episodes. About the title cards, I cannot fix them. Check with Myotis. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 05:38, 18 July 2009 (BST)<br />
::Ok, thats good to know. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 05:50, 18 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Ok, you are in charge of it, but you need to set up and organize it. I will not be able to help. --[[User:Andrewrox|Andrewrox]] <sup>[[User talk:Andrewrox|Talk]]</sup> 05:17, 20 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Blocked==<br />
Hi. I blocked you for this: ''"P.S. I will not stop asking you to make me an admin until you make me one and SpongePappy one."'' You have 3 days do think about it. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 13:55, 20 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Hey! Good to hear from you again! -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:54, 23 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Oh. At least your back! -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:58, 23 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Hey, I asked Andrewrox if he could Protect the page for DVDs, cause everytime I go there, there are fake DVDs. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:06, 23 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Friend==<br />
Sure. Aren't you an admin? [[User:Alchemist01|Alchemist01]] 18:03, 23 July 2009 (BST)Alchemist01[[User:Alchemist01|Alchemist01]] 18:03, 23 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
{{Users in SpongePedia}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=User_talk:Alchemist01User talk:Alchemist012009-07-22T22:29:44Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Welcome}}<br />
<br />
Welcome and good luck with future articles and editing. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 02:40, 4 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Articles==<br />
<br />
I think that your article is very good! Wanna be friends? -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 02:51, 4 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I think your making a good article! -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:17, 4 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
{{Users in SpongePedia}}<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-22T01:26:19Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Grooming Gary|Grooming Gary]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Porous Pockets|Porous Pockets]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
(Patrick is snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om. (except for Silent Stan but does put his hands together.)<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Chip, and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (starts running in circles around the fire) I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
(Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
(Big G coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
(Big G coughs again)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
(Big G coughs again)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna. Or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie and Chip: Amen. (Big G coughs)<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there? (Squidward looks angrily at him)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
(Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
(JKL magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
(JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
(Sandy flies away)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...<br />
<br />
JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out)<br />
<br />
JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
(Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
(Squidward climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (it starts raining)<br />
<br />
JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)<br />
<br />
JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
(JKL dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and Shubie are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
(Sandy crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
(JKL surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
(Chip plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
(Everyone is dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T21:53:55Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (starts running in circles around the fire) I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
(Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
(Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
(JKL magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
(JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
(Sandy flies away)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...<br />
<br />
JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out)<br />
<br />
JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
(Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
(Squidward climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (it starts raining)<br />
<br />
JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)<br />
<br />
JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
(JKL dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and Shubie are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
(Sandy crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
(JKL surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
(Chip plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
(Everyone is dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Template:ImageTemplate:Image2009-07-21T21:47:35Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
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</noinclude></div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T21:16:13Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Grooming Gary|Grooming Gary]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Porous Pockets|Porous Pockets]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (starts running in circles around the fire) I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
(Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
(Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
(JKL magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
(JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
(Sandy flies away)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...<br />
<br />
JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out)<br />
<br />
JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
(Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
(Squidward climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (it starts raining)<br />
<br />
JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)<br />
<br />
JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Awesome_EddieAwesome Eddie2009-07-21T21:04:13Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Image|http://i41.tinypic.com/15yyfdt.jpg|Awesome Eddie at the far right}}<br />
Awesome Eddie is a green fish that help [[SpongeBob]], [[Patrick]] and [[Squidward]] to get to [[Jack Kahuna Laguna]].<br />
<br />
===Looks===<br />
Awesome Eddie is a green fish. He has orange hair, brown pants and a white dirty t-shirt.<br />
<br />
===Attitude===<br />
Awesome Eddie is very happy sometimes. [[Squidward]] called him and the others hippies. His friends are [[Big G]], [[Silent Stan]], [[Twitch]] and [[Chip (fish)]].<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
[[Category:Character]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T17:14:14Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Grooming Gary|Grooming Gary]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Porous Pockets|Porous Pockets]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (starts running in circles around the fire) I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
(Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)<br />
<br />
JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T17:11:28Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O... only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)<br />
<br />
JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T15:49:14Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O... only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T15:47:28Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
Silent Stan: (Makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O... only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-21T15:45:20Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob is sweating)<br />
<br />
Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f-<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
(all crash)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
Silent Stan: (Makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why do they call ya Twitch?<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (scared): O... only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_Secret_BoxEpisode Transcript: The Secret Box2009-07-19T15:45:29Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialouge */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Frankendoodle|Frankendoodle]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Band Geeks |Band Geeks]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Secret Box]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]] <br />
*[[Patrick Star]] <br />
*[[Gary]] <br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Oh, Patrick!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you ready to go jellyfishing?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, boy am I!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Here's your net. Well, come on, Patrick! The jellyfish don't catch themselves.<br />
<br />
Patrick: First I have to put away my secret box.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Secret box? You never told me about secret box!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, hands off, PeepingBob! This my secret box! Besides, if I'd show you what's inside that won't be a secret anymore. Duh!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob... If only you could see what's inside my secret box, it would change your life!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's okay, Patrick. I know all about secrets.<br />
<br />
Patrick: You do?<br />
SpongeBob: I've got a bazillion secrets!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Like what?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it's not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret. It's like secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You wanna hear some of my secrets?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, do I!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um... Let's see now... Did you know that... You're my best friend?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No. Way. Oh, let's hear another one!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Okay. Um... secretly I'm a little bit naive.<br />
<br />
Patrick: WOW! I'll never look at you the same way again, SpongeBob. Gosh. Tell me some more secrets!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hmm...okay. I love my job at the Krusty Krab, I sleep with my shoes on, I like Jelly on both sides of my toast, I have an overdue library book, I think jellyfishing and bubble-blowing are...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: ...I have a deep overbite, I've never been late for work, I said i'm on the the fancy conversation, I like to dancing to loading zone announcements, I still don't have my driving license and I'm wearing three <br />
pairs of underwear right now.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Gosh. I would never have guessed.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now will you show me what's inside your secret box?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No way, SpongeBob! It's for me to know and for you to never find out. You may be an open book SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner macanations of my mind are an enigma. (thinks about a carton of milk tipping over as milk pours out of it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah!?! Well, I have some secrets too. Erm… I've got my secret socks on, and my secret Gary's bowl!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: My secret TV! And my secret TV channel. (turns it on and shows color bars)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What do you say now, Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Maybe if you saw what's inside you'd know why it has to be secret. Inside this box is the most secretly secret of all of secretdom and I am its sole witness! It's a heavy burden, SpongeBob, but nobody must know the secret of my box. Nobody! Not even... Squidward's house.(scene zooms out to show Squidward's Tiki Head looking down at Spongebob and Patrick.)<br />
<br />
Patrick: It's a full-time job. I'm constantly alert. You'll never know when someone's gonna ... Huh!?!<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing!?! That's my secret box! Now, hand it over!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But, Patrick, I must know the secret!<br />
<br />
Patrick: For the last time, SpongeBob, no!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, just a peep?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Never!(Spongebob's arms pop off.)<br />
<br />
Patrick: So, it's come to this. And to think that we joined the Best Friends Forever Club!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Listen up, SpongeBob SecretStealerPants! If you ever come close to my secret box again, we won't be friends anymore!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But we're suppose to be friends forever(We flashback to Spongebob and Patrick as babies in a crib laughing, then we see them as kids riding on a bike, then as older men on rocking chairs, then we see a shot of two gravestones, we hear Spongebob and Patrick laughing deadly)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I feel so filthy! I've soiled our friendship garden. I just couldn't help myself! I know that it's your secret and I respect that! Please forgive me, Patrick, please.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, I guess it's not all your falt. After all, it's one great secret. I mean how can you resist the greatness of secret box. The most amazing, mysterious, powerful secret in all Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So what do you say, buddy? Friends?<br />
Patrick: Friends.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What can be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish! Or maybe Patrick is a master jewel theif and it's full of diamonds. Maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victim's severed heads in the box. Or even worse! Maybe it's the embarrassing snap shot of me in the Christmas party. ahhh!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I've gotta know what's inside that box if it's the last thing I do!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: That's it! How do you look in a secret box? Secretly, of course! I'll just take the box while Patrick is sleeping, look in that box and give it back before Patrick wakes up. Patrick will never notice and I'll have my own secret too. Good idea, hey, Gary?<br />
<br />
Gary: Hmm... No.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh what do you know, you're a snail!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob is thinking) I don't want to wake up Patrick so I better be quiet.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Who's there?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good ol' secret box. Let's see what's inside (pulls out Spongebob's tounge)!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Nighty night, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick is sure a heavy sleeper.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Huh? Who said that who's there!?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uhhh...<br />
<br />
Patrick: It's the ClamBurglar! And he's stealing my secret box! Hand over the goods, BoxBandit, and prepare for your most unpleasant pillow fight of your life!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wait, wait, wait, Patrick! It's me, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Nice try, burglar, but SpongeBob is my best friend, and he would never steal from me.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, really, Patrick, look!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick Friend Ship Ring: It's the Best Friends Forever,<br />
Best Friends Forever Ring!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Our friendship ring! It is you!<br />
<br />
Patrick: How could you do this!?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: If it makes you feel better, I haven't looked inside.<br />
<br />
Patrick: That's it, SpongeBob! You've crossed the line. This friendship is now over!!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Really?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Nahhh!, you can look inside it if you really want to.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ok! Oh, this is one the most exciting moments of my life! Well, here it goes!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, didn't I tell ya isn't it great?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's just a string.<br />
<br />
Patrick: A secret string!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Boy, when you’re right, you’re right! That's some secret box you've got there! Yeah! Thanks for showing me that! Well, good night Patrick. See you tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I should've known! It was just a piece of string all along! Wait 'till I tell Gary!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good thing he didn't pull the string, opening my secret compartment of my secret box, revealing one embarrassing snapshot of SpongeBob at the Christmas Party!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Merry Christmas, SpongeBob! hahaha!<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_DumpedEpisode Transcript: Dumped2009-07-19T15:43:37Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Allein gelassen]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Survival of the Idiots|Survival of the Idiots]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: No Free Rides|No Free Rides]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Dumped (Episode)|Dumped]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Gary]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(It’s another great day in Bikini Bottom. Gary is out in a clearing and Sponge tiptoes over to a rock behind him giggling. He <br />
looks from behind it)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, I’ve got ya now, Gary.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow? (Sponge jumps up and lands in mid-air. He touches Gary’s shell with his index finger)<br> <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Tag, you’re it! (he runs off, SpongeBob jumps and he opens his mouth. He flies to his house and chomps down on the side of it, leaving him clinging) (garbled) Gary will never find me here! (Gary crawls over the ground, up the house and toward SpongeBob) Uh-oh. (Gary’s eye substitutes as an arm as he tags SpongeBob and meows) Tag! Now I’m it! (he laughs uncontrollably as he slides down the wall, scraping off two slices of the covering with his teeth. Patrick is below and SpongeBob takes the shavings out of his teeth)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hi SpongeBob, what are you doing?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary and I are playing tag, you wanna join us?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Oh boy, would I!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (slyly) Okay. (touches him) Tag, you’re it! (walks away)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I’m it! I’m it, I’m it, I’m it, I’m it! (Gary is still there, and he meows. Patrick tags him) Tag, you’re it! I win, I win! (Gary purrs and rubs against Patrick. Then he crawls all around Patrick’s body. SpongeBob walks over) What’s with Gary? He sounds like a motorboat (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' That’s just a snail’s way of saying he likes you!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (laughs) It tickles! (the two laugh endlessly as Gary continues to crawl around. They continue laughing and laughing until it’s dark)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I guess it’s time for me and the Gar-Bear to get going. Come on, Gary. (he pulls Gary off of Patrick and walks away) Boy, I can’t wait to hit the hay. (Patrick waves) What about you, Gary? (SpongeBob sees that he’s no longer holding Gary) Gary? Gary? (cut to Patrick’s house where the rock is up and Patrick’s brushing his teeth and looking in a mirror on the side of the wall. He has his nightcap on)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (singing) Brush, brush, brush, brush, brush, brush... (SpongeBob walks over)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick, have you seen Gary?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (singing) Brush brush brush, (he brushes under his armpit) Brushin’ everywhere… (he spits and turns around. We see Gary attached to his stomach) Nope. (looks down) Oh, hey, here he is! (Gary purrs and meows)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Gary, we gotta let Patrick go to sleep.<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Well, I don’t mind SpongeBob. In fact, why don’t you Gary stay over at my house tonight?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, that’s a great idea!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' A sleep-over! Oh boy, oh boy! This is gonna be great, Gary. We can stay up till dawn and watch scary movies and eat popcorn and play board games… (SpongeBob thinks to himself and we hear Patrick in the background saying, “Blah blah blah blah…”)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (thinking) Gee, this is great. My two best friends in the whole sea having a sleepover.<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' And then we’ll make a house of cards, and then we’ll read some comic books…<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, you two have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow. (they wave good-bye and SpongeBob walks home)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Blah blah blah blah blah… (soon, night becomes day and SpongeBob wakes up to his foghorn alarm clock)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I’m awake!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (off-screen) Hey, SpongeBob! (Sponge leaps up and runs to the window. Pat and Gary are outside)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey guys, how was the sleepover?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Great, SpongeBob. Watch this! Wherever I go, Gary follows! (he pulls Gary off his chest and runs. Gary goes after him as he runs around SpongeBob’s house. He runs on top of his house and falls off and continues running, which Gary then imitates) See? (SpongeBob jumps from the window and runs off)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Gary! Try and catch meeee! (laughs) Isn’t this great, Gary? Me running around and you chasing me? (he notices he’s not being chased) You’re not chasing me. (Gary is still with Patrick)<br> <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Come on, Gary, let’s play a different game. (he and Gary walk away. SpongeBob jumps in front of Gary)<br> <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Who-ho-ho-ho! Look out! I’m right in front of... (Gary crawls away after Patrick) ...you... What’s wrong with me? (he sniffs his armpit) Do I offend? (Patrick is playing with Gary, Gary is crawling on Patrick’s toes. Patrick’s on his back and laughing while Gary purrs. SpongeBob runs inside the house and brings out a ball covered in snail slime) Hey, Gary! Gary, look! It’s your favorite ball! (Gary is sitting on Patrick’s bum and Patrick shakes it, laughing. SpongeBob drops the ball. Gary is now crawling up to Patrick’s armpit. SpongeBob pulls a can of snail nip) Hey, Gary, look! Snail-nip! (he eats some) Huh? Huh-huh? (Gary is too busy crawling on Patrick’s head to notice. SpongeBob decides to try something else, he runs inside and hangs from the window by his head) Help, Gary, help! Help me! Oh merciful Neptune! I closed the window on my head! (Gary is on his shell rolling Patrick left and right) All right, that’s it! (The window opens and SpongeBob falls. Gary is now rolling on Patrick’s belly. SpongeBob walks up to them) Gary, you stop this foolishness, right now. (Gary’s eyes lower) Gary the snail, answer me when I’m talking to you! Okay, that’s it, mister! You are coming home with me this instant! (SpongeBob struggles and pulls Gary off Patrick) Say good-bye to Patrick, Gary. (he walks off, Gary lets out a meow of sadness)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hold it right there, DadMom AngryPants!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What’s that supposed to mean?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I don’t know, but I do know Gary knows who he wants to go with. So I suggest that you put him down and let him choose. (SpongeBob does)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Fine, but I would like to remind him who it was who fed him and housed him and sat on his bedside when he was sick and massaged his eyestalks when his eyes were sore! Okay, Gary, go ahead, show him. Okay, Gary, come to me! Come on, come on, Gary! Come on, come here, Gary! (Gary turns around to Patrick) Uh, wrong way Gary. (Gary is crawling toward Patrick) G-Gary, turn around! Gary, turn around! Gary, no, Gary, no, no, no, no! Don’t do it, Gary! (fell into the ground) Don't do it, don't, Gary! (he collapses as Gary crawls up to Patrick)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Well, well, well... I guess that answers that question. So long, SpongeBob. Me and Gary got stuff to do.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (angrily) Okay, fine, if that’s how you want to thank me... (sadly) For all that I’ve done? (Patrick’s rock falls down into place. Cut to SpongeBob’s darkened room where SpongeBob is on his bed looking down at Gary’s bowl. He sheds a tear into it) I guess you’re not coming back, Gary. (angrily) I don’t need Gary! I’ll just find another pet! Yeah, it’ll be better than Gary! I’m going to get a pet that won’t go off with my best friend! (cut to Patrick running around laughing with Gary on his head. SpongeBob walks by with a giant worm by the leash. The worm is bluish green and is panting heavily) Hi, guys! Say hello to my new pal Rex! (Rex barks, SpongeBob pats him) Not only is he loyal, but he knows tricks too! Watch and learn. Sit, Rex, sit! (he waits, but Rex is just sitting there) Roll over, Rex, roll over! (Rex just sits there again) Now stay, Rex, stay! Good boy, Rex! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? (Patrick laughs and dances with Gary on his head) I’m sure glad we went our separate ways, Gary. A worm really is the pet for me. So loyal, so trusting, always by my side! (Rex barks and we see he’s waiting for the bus across the street with a hitch-hiking hole with stuff in it. The bus comes and he rides off. Cut to SpongeBob entering the house with a pet carrying case) Who needs worms anyway? (SpongeBob puts down the case and opens the door) Welcome home, newest bestest friend. Come on out, don’t be shy. (a snail comes out. It’s got big bushy black eyebrows and a <br />
tan shell, with the same design as Gary’s) You remind me of someone I once knew. A certain someone who’s name will not be spoken in this household. Come on, let me show you around, Lary.<br><br />
<br />
'''Lary:''' Meow (his voice much deeper than Gary's. Cut to Larry sitting at a table as SpongeBob walks over with a plate with a cover on it. SpongeBob is in chef garb)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' And now, Lary, I present to you… dinner time! Ta-da! (he takes off the cover, it’s snail food in Gary’s bowl. But the Gary inscription now has an L written over the G) Bon appetite, Lary. (giggles. Lary sniffs it and snarls. SpongeBob quickly takes the bowl away, scared) OK, maybe later. (walks backward. Cut to Sponge with his robe on, showing Lary the <br />
newspaper bed next to his own) This is where you sleep, Lary. (Lary goes over on it and tears it up. Lary is now up on SpongeBob’s bed) Uh, that’s where I... (Lary snarls loudly and falls asleep instantly) I guess you can sleep there. (SpongeBob lays down on the shredded newspaper) I’ll just sleep down here. (lays some shreds on him like a blanket) Well, good-night, Lary. (Lary snarls again. Cut to morning where Lary is watching TV. SpongeBob jumps in and surprises him) Hey, Lary, want to hear a joke? Aw, Gary used to love this one! (clears throat) What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor! (laughs. Lary hisses and crawls away) Don’t you get it, Lary? A snailor. (he deflates) Gosh, Lary is sure different than Gary. And Gary and Lary are real different than Jerry. (he holds a real-life snail from his pocket. He looks at a photo of Gary) Oh, Gary, why did you <br />
have to go? (cries) Why, Gary? Why?! Why, why, why, why, why, why?! (we hear Gary meow) Gary? (we see Patrick and Gary are behind him. Patrick is holding a basket of laundry)<br> <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hi, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, hello, Patrick.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hello, Gary.<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Would it be all right if me and Gary did some laundry around here?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Laundry? But... we used to do laundry…<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' And uh, SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Soap? But... we used to use soap. (holds up two bottles) Do you want ‘Fresh Scent’ or ‘Heavy Du’...<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Here it comes.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Du… du… du… (cries) duuuuuttyy!!! (his tears make both of the bottles bubble up) Gary! Please come back Gary! Please come home! I’m a wreck without you! I know, if you come back, there’ll be a new no-rules rule. You can do whatever you want, when you want. (runs up to the sofa and tears it up furiously) If you want to rip up the sofa, then you rip it up! (runs up to the litter box) And the litter box, forget about it! (he dumps the litter on his head) The world is your litter box! (he runs to the fridge and opens it) And you don’t even have to wait around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access! (he takes a milk carton and drinks it) And you don’t even have to use a bowl! (he runs to a giant carving of Squidward) And I know how much you like my prized drift wood carving of Squidward. (scratches at it) Well, think of it as your own <br />
personal scratching post! What do you think, Gary? Won’t it be fun, Gary? (we see SpongeBob has carved Squidward into a heart)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' How pathetic.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary? (the heart breaks in half and one half hits him. The two walk to the laundry room)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I’m sorry, SpongeBob. But Gary’s with me now. (he takes off his shorts and puts them in the machine) You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it SpongeBob, you’re only hurting yourself. (he takes off his shorts and puts them in the machine, Gary crawls in after them) It’s what Gary wants, and what Gary wants it me! Right, Gary? (the two notice Gary is in the machine, nudging in Patrick’s shorts) He only liked me for my shorts!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No, Patrick! He wanted the cookie in your pocket! (Gary is indeed eating the cookie. He finishes and crawls out up to SpongeBob) G-G-Gary? (Gary burps and happily meows) Wee! (he hugs Gary) Oh, Gary, I knew you’d never leave me! Aw. (giggles, he takes his leash) Let’s go for a walk pal! (the two walk out)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Gary? I thought what we had was special!<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_One_(Episode)SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)2009-07-19T15:12:40Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px;"<br />
!colspan="2" | <center>http://i678.photobucket.com/albums/vv149/SpongePedia/Season6%20Title%20Cards/SpongeBob-SquarePants-vs-The-Big-On.jpg</center><br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| Episode No.: || 111<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| Airdate: || April 17, 2009<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| Season: || Season 6<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| Previous Episode: || [[Grooming Gary]]<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| Next Episode: || [[Porous Pockets]]<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''"SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One"''' is an episode from Season 6.<br />
<br />
===Characters===<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Sandy]]<br />
*[[Jack Kahuna Laguna]]<br />
*[[Flying Dutchman]]<br />
*Group on Deserted Island<br />
*[[Awesome Eddie]]<br />
*[[Big G]]<br />
*[[Chip (fish)]]<br />
*[[Silent Stan]]<br />
*[[Twitch]]<br />
*The Gnarly Pounders (Surfers)<br />
*[[Guest Stars|Davy Jones]] (as himself)<br />
*[[Aunt Sally]] (Mentioned)<br />
*[[Cashy]]<br />
*[[Gary]]<br />
*[[Pearl]]<br />
*[[Larry the Lobster]]<br />
*[[Nat Peterson]]<br />
*[[Shubie]]<br />
*[[The Big One]]<br />
<br />
===Places===<br />
*[[Krusty Krab]]<br />
*[[Goo Lagoon]]<br />
*The 'Island'<br />
*Kahmamoku Cove<br />
*Dutchman's Triangle<br />
*Real-life Davy Jones' locker<br />
*House made of Guano<br />
<br />
===Songs===<br />
*[[Daydream Believer]]<br />
*[[Ridin The Hook]] (featured on DVD)<br />
<br />
==Plot==<br />
SpongeBob and Squidward are getting really hot at the [[Krusty Krab]], so [[Mr. Krabs]] takes them to the beach to sell Krabby Patties. There, they find Sandy and Patrick. When Patrick wants to buy a Krabby Patty, Patrick gets on and the surfboard tips and flings SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs all to different places. Mr. Krabs is in ''The Dutchman's Triangle'', Sandy is on an island; so are SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, but they're on different islands. SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward meet 5 people and they tell them that the only way back to Bikini Bottom is to surf there. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward swim to JKL learn how to surf to get back to Bikini Bottom. JKL tells them just to keep breathing. Then, they learn how to surf and then the Big One, a perfect wave formed by the certain alignment of the planets, comes. SpongeBob gets them back to Bikini Bottom and everyone throws them a party.<br />
<br />
{{Image|http://i41.tinypic.com/15yyfdt.jpg|The group on the island.}}<br />
<br />
==Trivia/Goofs==<br />
*[[Guest Stars|Johnny Depp]] guest voices.<br />
*[[Guest Stars|Davy Jones]] guest stars as himself.<br />
*This was read at the Sundance Film Festival.<br />
*Twitch is a reference to the Holes character of the same name.<br />
*The Dutchman Triangle is a parody of the Bermuda Triangle.<br />
*This is the 4th episode with "vs." in the title. The first was [[Krabs vs. Plankton (Episode)|Krabs vs. Plankton]], the second was [[SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]], and the third was [[Mermaid Man vs SpongeBob (Episode)|Mermaid Man vs SpongeBob]].<br />
*The title card is similar to [[Culture Shock (Episode)| Culture Shock]], only the background is blue.<br />
*In German this episode is called "Die Welle zurück", which translates to "The wave back".<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna's nickname is JKL.<br />
*There is a game based on this episode called [[Beach Party Cook-Off]].<br />
*This is the only special in season 6 and its the 10th special of the series.<br />
*If it takes The Big One to send them home, they would need The Big One to get there. But JKL says The Big One comes every thousand years or so. However, Sandy's Wave, which was the one that got them trapped, was not The Big One.<br />
*When Davy Jones throws the sock, it is real. But when it hits the Flying Dutchmen, it is a cartoon.<br />
*SpongeBob said he never surfed before, but he surfed in [[Texas (Episode)|Texas]], [[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]], and [[Pranks a Lot (Episode)|Pranks a Lot]].<br />
*The password to the SpongeBob Surf Shorts on Nick.com is Wave<br />
*How does a wave come to life anyway? All in all, why are there waves underwater? They go overwater.<br />
*The DVD of this episode was released before it aired on TV.<br />
*Who got sacrificed? It's possible that it was [[Patrick]]'s surfboard.<br />
*Twitch said he and the others wouldn't go in the river even if SpongeBob paid him. So how did he appear at the end of the episode?<br />
*The Flying Dutchman says he's never seen [[Mr. Krabs]] before. But he did in the episode [[Born Again Krabs]] and also in [[Money Talks]]. He also knew his Aunt Sally, but this may be because of his beard.<br />
*The German title card is very different. It has a sun setting on it.<br />
*This is the first time that [[Mr. Krabs]] calls the cash register [[Cashy]]. In [[Banned in Bikini Bottom]] he calls it Betsy.<br />
*[[Squidward]] calls [[Jack Kahuna Laguna]] surf-boy!<br />
*[[Jack Kahuna Laguna]] looks more like a human than a fish.<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]] forgot to pay the Power Bill!<br />
*From where did [[SpongeBob]] get the bongos when they where riding [[The Big One]]?<br />
*In German they call [[The Big One]], The Monster.<br />
*In this episode every [[Krabby Patty]] costs 3 dollars each.<br />
*In the episode [[Pat No Pay]], [[Mr. Krabs]] says that [[Patrick]] will never eat a [[Krabby Patty]] in his life.It is possible that this episode takes place before that episode.<br />
*For a sacrifice they could have just thrown [[Mr. Krabs]]'s beard to [[The Big One]], Squidward would've thrown SpongeBob (as he hates SpongeBob), Patrick would've done the same to his undies.<br />
*This episode and [[Night Light]] mark the most guest stars in one episode.<br />
{{Image|http://i39.tinypic.com/25k1ri1.jpg|The power bill}}<br />
*Strangely, in the end, when Twitch's group is at the party, Awesome Eddie isn't there. (It is possible he was the one sacrificed.)<br />
*It is revealed that the [[Flying Dutchman]] dated Mr. Krabs's Aunt Sally in High School.<br />
*Squidward doesn't know who Sandy is in this episode. But, he's seen her before and in one episode he knew her name. He was even under her care in [[Squidtastic Voyage]].<br />
*No wonder Silent Stan can't talk. He doesn't even have a mouth.<br />
*In a couple of other countries (including New Zealand) this episode is called SpongeBob and the big wave.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One]]<br />
<br />
'''Other Transcript Bonuses'''<br />
<br />
[[SpongeBob Surf Shorts]]<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Season6}}<br />
<br />
{{Specials}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
[[de:Die Welle zurück (Episode)]]<br />
[[Category:Episode]]<br />
[[Category:Season 6]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_No_Nose_KnowsEpisode Transcript: No Nose Knows2009-07-18T19:44:07Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialouge */</p>
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<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Giant Squidward|Giant Squidward]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Patty Caper|Patty Caper]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[No Nose Knows (Episode)|No Nose Knows]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] <br />
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] <br />
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]<br />
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] <br />
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]<br />
*[[Surgeon]] <br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
(Episode starts with Squidward walking home. He places his keys on the table, and puts down a bag that says "Nautical Mart" on it. He then takes some stuff out.)<br />
<br />
Squidward: I thought I told that kid not to put the organic sea cucumber on top of the free range anemines. Well at least my flowers survived the trip. (Squidward sniffs it, then SpongeBob's nose is in his nostril. Squidward screams, then sneezes him out) SpongeBob, would you please find your own flowers to sniff.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What about Patrick, does he have to find his own flowers too? (Patrick pops up from the flowers, and they die)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What are you taking about, nitwit? He doesn't even have a nose.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Of course I have a nose, Squidward. Why, it's as plaid as the nose on my... (human hands touch his face, then he talks sadly) ...face. (Patrick touches Squidward's nose, then his face, then SpongeBob's nose) You're right, Squidward! (cries)<br />
<br />
Squidward: My floors! Think fast, Squiddy. I've got your nose.<br />
<br />
Patrick: You do?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Yeah I've got it... (Squidward touches Patrick's face, and holds his thumb, looking like a nose) ... right here.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Give me! Give it here!<br />
<br />
Squidward: If you want it, you gotta go get it. (pretends to throw it, then they run outside, and Squidward shuts the door. They then look around)<br />
<br />
Patrick: There! (Patrick picks up a shell) Well SpongeBob, what do you think of my new nose?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's not a nose that's a... (a hermit crab bites him) ...hermit crab.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I guess I'll always be a noseless freak. (cuts to them walking down the street)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's not so ab-normal to be noseless. Just look around. Lot's of fish don't have noses.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, but all my friends have noses. You, Squidward, Sandy, even Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs walks on screen sniffing around, then sees a penny)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: There you are. (picks it up and continues sniffing)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, if your so concerned about not having a nose, why don't you just get a new one stitched on to your face.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I can do that? (cuts to Patrick with a false nose tied on him)<br />
<br />
Surgeon: Well, what do you think?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sorry doc, but I don't really think it's me. <br />
<br />
Surgeon: That's a-okay. That's cool. As the lead surgeon here, I take a hypothetical oath. Which means I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not cut a single toenail, until the customer is 100% satisfied. So please, browse are extensive wall of noses. And I will patiently await your final decision.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay! Let's see. Hmm. (looks around)<br />
<br />
Surgeon: Excellent choice! (puts him on a medical bed. Scene cuts to him walking out of the nose store, with a nose bandaged up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right Patrick, let's unveal the new shanauze. (tries to pull of the bandages, but Patrick stops him)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Wait, stop, careful SpongeBob! This fragile stitching requires tender care. Allow me to carefully remove the bandages. (Patrick crushes his nose, then pulls off the bandages, then uses a cooking mixer, then a sander)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: There it is, Patrick! Your brand new sniffer! Looking good buddy. (silence for a few seconds) Well, I've gotta go to work now. Have fun with your new nose.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I will! Now, how do I use this thing? (smells something) What is that smell? (walks over to a bakery) Pastries? I never knew they smelled so good! (sticks his face in and sniffs them)<br />
<br />
Harold: Well, I guess I won't be eating those. (cuts to Squidward walking out of the Nautical Mart with more flowers)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Let's see Patrick destroy these. (Patrick sniffs them all in his nose, then he is sitting on a lawn mower smelling the grass, then putting on deodorant, and sniffing his arm pit. He then smells some bread, and floats toward it. He then floats through a cloud of perfume a lady is putting on)<br />
<br />
Patrick: All these years I knew I was missing out on something, but I never thought smelling could be this good! (Patrick smells a bad smell, then falls) What is that horrible smell? (notices something) Onion rings? (sniffs them, then screams and covers his nose) The scent! Nobody told me about bad smells! (a bad smell taps him on the shoulder) What is it now? (Patrick sniffs some trash, then runs away from the stench) I'm going to have to re-think this whole smelling thing. (runs into his rock, and the smell vanishes. Patrick sits in his chair) I made it. At least here at home, I can't be attacked by those rechid odors. (Patrick smells a bad smell again) Bad smells are all around me! (takes a look at all the trash. His eyes then water up, and he runs outside) I can not live in these conditions! (puts a mask on his nose, then gets some cleaning spray and a brush. He then runs to his rock to clean it)<br />
<br />
Narrator: 48 hours later. (Patrick's house is really clean, and he is still cleaning)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hiya Patrick. How... Whoa! Hey, looking good.<br />
<br />
Patrick: The smells! They're everywhere! It's unbearable! (cries, then Squidward walks on screen)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What's wrong with the pin head? (Patrick smells something, and screams)<br />
<br />
Patrick: There's another one! No! I can't take it!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Where do you think you're going?<br />
<br />
Patrick: To do what should have been done long ago. (barges into Squidward's house, then smells something, and opens his refrigerator, revealing bad smelling cheese, then screams) Sweet Neptune, imported cheese! (runs off screen, then comes back with a mask and sack) This is in-excusable! (puts it in the sack) Yuck!<br />
<br />
Squidward: What are you doing with my cheese? <br />
<br />
Patrick: It's rotten garbage now. (throws it in the garbage, then blasts it with a gun) That's better.<br />
<br />
Squidward: That was my cheese. It's supposed to smell like that, kelp for brains!<br />
<br />
Patrick: You are sick, Squidward! (Patrick smells another bad smell) There's that smell again. (Patrick looks out the window, and we see SpongeBob working out)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: 1, 2, 3, 4 (has trouble lifting the weight again) Come on SquarePants, be a man! (lifts it up)<br />
<br />
Patrick: You! (SpongeBob is scared, and drops the weight on him)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, help!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (throws the weight off him) Oh, I'll help you all right! Help stop you polluting are world with your sweaty holes. (plugs up SpongeBob's holes with corks) There.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't work at the Krusty Krab looking like this. I'm out of uniform.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well you can't go to work smelling like that. You should be thanking me, SpongeBob. (smells another bad smell) Smell's like, something greasy. (cuts to the Krusty Krab) Nobody move! I am riding this place of its disgusting stench, with these scented candles. (puts a candle on a table. Harold tries to eat a Krabby Patty, but can't)<br />
<br />
Harold: (coughs) My mouth can't take these conflicting flamers! (walks away, then Patrick puts scented candles on every table)<br />
<br />
Patrick: This air freshener should finish the job. (sprays it, then everyone coughs. Patrick then puts a candle on the cashier boat)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What the barnacles do you think you're doing? You're chasing away all me customers! (everyone leaves)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well good! No one should have to eat in this stench!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What? Why, I got a good mind to...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Say no more, you can thank me later. Right now, I've got plenty more stink holes to swab clean. <br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that new honker of his, has turned him into a complete jerk! (Patrick walks outside, and Sandy walks past him)<br />
<br />
Sandy: Hiya Pat. (Patrick sprays Sandy with the air freshener. Sandy screams, then coughs)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Take a bath, fleabag! (cuts to the Krusty Krab. Where Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Sandy, and SpongeBob are there)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I've asked you all here, because we all face a similar problem. The problem, a sea star with a nose that's gotten way out of hand. (all except SpongeBob agree) Now what I want to know is, are we going to do something about it? (all, except SpongeBob agree again)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Let's give him, what for.<br />
<br />
Sandy: Let's hogtie him and run him out of town on a rail. (all, except SpongeBob agree again)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (in thought bubble) Come on SpongeBob, be a man! (talking) Mr. Krabs?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Not now boy! We're in the middle of a public lishen! That no good, nose flartin...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It is not Patrick's fault!<br />
<br />
All: Huh?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's the new nose that has betrayed us. My grandma SquarePants always says, punish the nose, not the man. But we're going to need something foul, something beyond foul, a stench that will blow the socks off his infested socks! (cuts to them pushing a giant stinky ball toward Patrick's house, in air suits, so they won't smell it) Okay, this should be stinky enough. I've gathered every sweaty sock, moldy pizza, and rotten piece of fruit in Bikini Bottom. With a little raw sewage for good measure.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ata boy! Now for the moment of truth!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes sir! (SpongeBob knocks on Patrick rock, then runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hello. (smells the bad smell, casing his nose to cough, then dry and shrivel out) No! (his nose than falls off, then vanishes) All I wanted was to be able to smell like the rest of you. (runs away crying, then cuts to a cemetery)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (reading tombstone) Here lies the nose of Patrick Star. Rip. (referring to the R.I.P) Well this is terrible! All Patrick wanted was to be like the rest of us, and we punished him for it!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Who cares? At least now that pink moron will leave us alone. <br />
<br />
Patrick: (now with giant ears) I heard that!<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-18T16:58:25Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (sweating)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f-<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
*Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
All: (crash)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
*Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
*Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
*Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
*Silent Stan: (Makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
*Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Why do they call ya Twitch?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (scared): Oh, only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (run away from the flying surfboards)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Twitch: (sitting on surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
*Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
*Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Yeah, interpret that in the way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-17T17:28:41Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (sweating)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f-<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
*Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
All: (crash)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
*Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
*Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
*Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
*Silent Stan: (Makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
*Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Why do they call ya Twitch?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (scared): Oh, only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (run away from the flying surfboards)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Twitch: (sitting on surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
*Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What?!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
*Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Yeah, interpret that in the way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_SpongeBob_SquarePants_vs._The_Big_OneEpisode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One2009-07-17T17:27:46Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
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<br />
Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (sweating)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f-<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: The fan... it...<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Melted off?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: The fan stopped working.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Huh?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (fans himself)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: They're at the beach.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!<br />
The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!<br />
<br />
*Nat: Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Are they free?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the beach.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I told you!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Wha?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />
<br />
*Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Who are you?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Cowabunga!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What next?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pops up from underwater)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I'd love to!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (holds up the menu)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (trying to climb onto the surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You idiot!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: What'd she say?<br />
<br />
All: (crash)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)<br />
<br />
*Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Hey there, home-dads. <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Huh?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Island?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Island?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (snoring)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: And waves.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Mysterious waves.<br />
<br />
*Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (folds hands) Om.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G, Chip...<br />
<br />
*Chip: Hi.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: ... and Silent Stan.<br />
<br />
*Silent Stan: (Makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk) <br />
<br />
*Twitch: And I'm Twitch.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Why do they call ya Twitch?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) What?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Never mind.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Guano.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Great.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Oh, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (scared): Oh, only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying while running in circles)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Others...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (take bites out of their surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (run away from the flying surfboards)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Twitch: (sitting on surfboards)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Go!<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: You bet!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Wow.<br />
<br />
*Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again)<br />
<br />
*Narrator: ... but whether we get totally stoked.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)<br />
<br />
Squidward: What?!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: What's that?<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*Eddie: Oh no, no way, dude. He'd never do it.<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: What's he saying?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Who?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL, for short.<br />
<br />
*Surfers: Amen.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Will there be nachos there?<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.<br />
<br />
*Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.<br />
<br />
*Twitch: Yeah, interpret that in the way you want.<br />
<br />
(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!<br />
<br />
As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Again?!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: You've never even seen him!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!<br />
<br />
(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's him!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Uh...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.<br />
<br />
*Jack Kahuna Laguna: (jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (start to tear up)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.<br />
<br />
*JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ow!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!<br />
<br />
*Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.<br />
<br />
*JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (walks away, then immediately returns)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Well, did you talk to him?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Yup.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: And?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Sandy's island.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.<br />
<br />
*Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (flies away)<br />
<br />
*The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...<br />
<br />
*Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna..<br />
<br />
*JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (knocked out)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surf moves. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)<br />
<br />
*Patrick and Squidward: (follow SpongeBob)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (running)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (walking)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb a cliff) <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: (climbs the cliff)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?<br />
<br />
*JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)<br />
<br />
*JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (It starts raining)<br />
<br />
*JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: A perfect wave?<br />
<br />
*JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!<br />
<br />
*JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Kacy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: What?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: How do you know?<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!<br />
<br />
*Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means... <br />
<br />
*Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)<br />
<br />
The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Here it comes!!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.<br />
<br />
*JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick! <br />
<br />
*Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: No!!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that! <br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!<br />
<br />
*Big One: (stares at Squidward)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...<br />
<br />
*JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (dives off his surfboard)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!<br />
<br />
(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: No!!!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Little dude,.... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)<br />
<br />
*Big One: (burps)<br />
<br />
*Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.<br />
<br />
*Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)<br />
<br />
(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and the Pink Fish are lying on beach towels.)<br />
<br />
*Nat: You hear a noise?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (crashes down in her helicopter)<br />
<br />
*Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!<br />
<br />
*Fish: A spaceman!<br />
<br />
*Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!<br />
<br />
*Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.<br />
<br />
*Beach goers: (act bored)<br />
<br />
*Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Who?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.<br />
<br />
*Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?<br />
<br />
*Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?<br />
<br />
*Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
*People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!! <br />
<br />
*Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!<br />
<br />
*Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)<br />
<br />
*Patrick: I love this song!<br />
<br />
*Squidward: Look!<br />
<br />
*JKL: (surfs in on a giant wave)<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: JKL!!<br />
<br />
*JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)<br />
<br />
*Mr. Krabs: Cashy!<br />
<br />
*SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!<br />
<br />
*Chip: (plays his saxophone harder)<br />
<br />
*Everyone: (dancing)<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_CardEpisode Transcript: The Card2009-07-17T16:47:12Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]<br />
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|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Quincy]]<br />
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Quincy: Next! Oh, no...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?<br />
<br />
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)<br />
<br />
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.<br />
<br />
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.<br />
<br />
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?<br />
<br />
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?<br />
<br />
All customers: (complaining)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I <br />
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa!<br />
<br />
All customers: (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.<br />
<br />
Patrick: One, two, three, four...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Seventeen...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy, while Mermaidman barely ducks out of the way)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as <br />
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And <br />
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until <br />
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says:<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable <br />
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla <br />
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)<br />
<br />
They run out of the store.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy would never <br />
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) <br />
Ha, that was close.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander <br />
aimlessly around like you've been...<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into <br />
Goo Lagoon?<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. <br />
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. <br />
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in <br />
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with <br />
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ew.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy car.. dddd....<br />
<br />
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Zzzbbb... Buy more cards... (card blows up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaidman and Barnacleboy card #54. The special talking one.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Aw... sure you will.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So <br />
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)<br />
<br />
Announcer: Mermaidman says... (fist punches Barnacleboy)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I have one?<br />
<br />
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_CardEpisode Transcript: The Card2009-07-17T16:47:01Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Dear Vikings|Dear Vikings]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Quincy]]<br />
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Quincy: Next! Oh no...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?<br />
<br />
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)<br />
<br />
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.<br />
<br />
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.<br />
<br />
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?<br />
<br />
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?<br />
<br />
All customers: (complaining)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I <br />
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa!<br />
<br />
All customers: (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.<br />
<br />
Patrick: One, two, three, four...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Seventeen...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy, while Mermaidman barely ducks out of the way)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as <br />
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And <br />
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until <br />
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says:<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable <br />
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla <br />
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)<br />
<br />
They run out of the store.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy would never <br />
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) <br />
Ha, that was close.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander <br />
aimlessly around like you've been...<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into <br />
Goo Lagoon?<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. <br />
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. <br />
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in <br />
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with <br />
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ew.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy car.. dddd....<br />
<br />
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Zzzbbb... Buy more cards... (card blows up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaidman and Barnacleboy card #54. The special talking one.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Aw... sure you will.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So <br />
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)<br />
<br />
Announcer: Mermaidman says... (fist punches Barnacleboy)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I have one?<br />
<br />
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_CardEpisode Transcript: The Card2009-07-17T16:42:34Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Dear Vikings|Dear Vikings]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Quincy]]<br />
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Quincy: Next! Oh no...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?<br />
<br />
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)<br />
<br />
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering): I wanted the one with the kittens on it.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.<br />
<br />
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.<br />
<br />
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?<br />
<br />
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?<br />
<br />
All customers: (complaining)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I <br />
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa!<br />
<br />
All customers: (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.<br />
<br />
Patrick: One, two, three, four...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Seventeen...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy, while Mermaidman barely ducks out of the way)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as <br />
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And <br />
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until <br />
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says:<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable <br />
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla <br />
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)<br />
<br />
They run out of the store.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never <br />
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) <br />
Ha, that was close.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander <br />
aimlessly around like you've been...<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into <br />
Goo Lagoon?<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. <br />
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a constroction site and almost lands in fire)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. <br />
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in <br />
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...you'd give me your most valuable possession?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe...that you shouldn't...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with <br />
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ew.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy car..dddd....<br />
<br />
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Zzzbbb.. Buy more cards... (card blows up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnicle Boy card #54. The special talking one.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Aw...sure you will.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So <br />
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)<br />
<br />
Announcer: Mermaid Man says...(fist punches Barnacle Boy)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I have one?<br />
<br />
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_CardEpisode Transcript: The Card2009-07-17T16:41:20Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Dear Vikings|Dear Vikings]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Quincy]]<br />
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Quincy: Next! Oh no...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?<br />
<br />
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)<br />
<br />
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering): I wanted the one with the kittens on it.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.<br />
<br />
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.<br />
<br />
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?<br />
<br />
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?<br />
<br />
All customers: (complaining)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I <br />
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa!<br />
<br />
All customers: (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.<br />
<br />
Patrick: One, two, three, four...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Seventeen...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens <br />
cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy, while Mermaidman barely ducks out of the way)<br />
<br />
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as <br />
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (buys another pack)Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And <br />
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm...no. (process continues until <br />
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaid Man says:<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable <br />
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla <br />
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)<br />
<br />
They run out of the store.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never <br />
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) <br />
Ha, that was close.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander <br />
aimlessly around like you've been...<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into <br />
Goo Lagoon?<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. <br />
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a constroction site and almost lands in fire)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. <br />
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in <br />
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...you'd give me your most valuable possession?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe...that you shouldn't...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with <br />
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ew.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy car..dddd....<br />
<br />
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Zzzbbb.. Buy more cards... (card blows up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnicle Boy card #54. The special talking one.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Aw...sure you will.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So <br />
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)<br />
<br />
Announcer: Mermaid Man says...(fist punches Barnacle Boy)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I have one?<br />
<br />
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_The_CardEpisode Transcript: The Card2009-07-17T16:39:30Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Dear Vikings|Dear Vikings]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Quincy]]<br />
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Quincy: Next! Oh no...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?<br />
<br />
Quincy: SpongeBob...what can I do for you?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)<br />
<br />
Quincy: Nice...bunnies.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering): I wanted the one with the kittens on it.<br />
<br />
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.<br />
<br />
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.<br />
<br />
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?<br />
<br />
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?<br />
<br />
All customers: (complaining)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I <br />
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank)Whoa!<br />
<br />
All customers: (cheering)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.<br />
<br />
Patrick: One, two, three, four...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacleb Boy <br />
trading cards?<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: All right!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Seventeen...<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens <br />
cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaid Man says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?<br />
<br />
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as <br />
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (buys another pack)Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And <br />
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm...no. (process continues until <br />
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...<br />
<br />
Voice: Mermaid Man says:<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable <br />
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla <br />
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)<br />
<br />
They run out of the store.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never <br />
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) <br />
Ha, that was close.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander <br />
aimlessly around like you've been...<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into <br />
Goo Lagoon?<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. <br />
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a constroction site and almost lands in fire)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. <br />
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in <br />
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean...you'd give me your most valuable possession?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe...that you shouldn't...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with <br />
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ew.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy car..dddd....<br />
<br />
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Zzzbbb.. Buy more cards... (card blows up)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnicle Boy card #54. The special talking one.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Aw...sure you will.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So <br />
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)<br />
<br />
Announcer: Mermaid Man says...(fist punches Barnacle Boy)<br />
<br />
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I have one?<br />
<br />
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Transcript:_The_SpongeBob_SquarePants_Movie/Part_2Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 22009-07-17T16:34:20Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''NOTE:''' This is the continuation of Dialogue 1 of the [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|SpongeBob movie]].<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
===Chapter 14:Accused===<br />
<br />
(Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Mr. Krabs is changing the price of the Krabby Patty)<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' A hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.<br />
<br />
(Neptune comes into the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' (To the customers) Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May <br />
he present himself to me at once.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order something?<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' Nay! I'm on to you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny. For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime. (Holds up a piece of paper and shows it to Krabs)<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I stole your crown. Signed, Eugene Krabs?! (Eyes widen)<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' Relinquish the royal crown to me at once.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it. <br />
<br />
'''The Phone:''' (Mr. Krabs' voice) Ahoy, this is Eugene Krabs. Leave a message.<br />
<br />
'''Clay:''' Hi, Mr. Krabs. This is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don't you just hate wrong numbers?<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' My crown is in the forbidden Shell City?! (Screams)<br />
<br />
(Outside, we see that Plankton is behind it, holding the phone)<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Plan Z. I love Plan Z.This plan never fails the test!I like it,I like it! Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (Laughter)<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Prepare to burn, Krabs.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait, Neptune. Please, I'm begging you, I ain't a crook. Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?<br />
<br />
===Chapter 15: Saved by the Sponge?===<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (Looking all drunk) I've got something to say about Mr. (burps) Krabs.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, me boy, you've come just in time. Please, tell King Neptune all about me.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always though the was a great boss.<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You see? A great boss.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I now realize that he's a great big jerk!<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' For saying that, It should be time...<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this man has got something to say to you. (blows a long raspberry) There, I think I made my point.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Anyone else? No? Well, then. (Fires at Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' My pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire!<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' And now, Eugene Krabs, you will die!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Wait! I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' You don't understand. My crownis a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Your Highness, I'm sure it's not that noticeable...<br />
<br />
(King Neptune removes his paper bag covering the top of his head, revealing a huge bald spot that shines)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Bald! Bald!<br />
<br />
(Everybody keeps on saying: Bald! Bald! Bald!)<br />
<br />
'''Fred:''' My eyes!<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:'''All right, all right.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if I went to get your crown back?<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' You, go to Shell City? No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned. What makes you think you could? You're just a kid.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' But I'm not a kid. I can do it.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Run along. I have a crab to cook.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No! I won't let you.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Daddy, stop it. Can't you get through one day without executing someone?<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Mindy, I told you to stay in the carriage.<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Where's your love and compassion? (Holds SpongeBob) Look at this little guy. He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' But, daughter, I...<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Please, Father? At least let him try. What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your special problem?<br />
<br />
(She removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot)<br />
<br />
(Everybody keeps on saying: Bald! Bald! Bald!)<br />
<br />
'''Fred:''' My eyes!<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' All right. Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls. And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly ten days. (Patrick pops up)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:'''He can do it in nine!<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Eight!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Seven!<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob:''' Patrick! (They jump on him)<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Six!... Six it is, then. <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (Being choked by Mr. Krabs) Fi---ve...<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, shhh... <br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands! (He points his triton at Mr. Krabs)<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, wait. I'm begging you! (King Neptune freezes him)<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Who turned on the AC? (gasps) Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible. Who's gonna sign my paycheck?<br />
<br />
'''King Neptune:''' Come along, Mindy.<br />
<br />
===Chapter 16: Briefing===<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers and monsters everywhere. And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops (she imitates the Cyclops stomping) who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures. Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' She's purty, SpongeBob. (While Mindy is explaining, Patrick is staring at her)<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:'''Here, take this.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What's in here? (Opens bag and few winds blow at his face)<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (To Mindy) You're hot.<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back home.<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' Mindy!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' I'm coming. Good luck, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Wait. How did you know my name?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Oh, I'm gonna be queen of the sea one day. I've learned the names of all the sea creatures.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' What's my name?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' That's easy. You're Patrick Star. (Patrick blushes from head to toe) <br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' Mindy!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' I gotta go. I believe in you guys.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, Mindy. (Now to Mr. Krabs) Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I...<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Pass. (He walks out the door, and leaves his hat behind)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick and I...<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hi.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' ... are gonna get that crown back and save you from Neptune's wrath. You've got nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands. (Mr. Krabs turns his eyes and looks at them. They are drooling, and look very stupid) Patrick, let's go get that crown!<br />
<br />
===Chapter 17: The Patty Wagon===<br />
<br />
(They run into a secret room under the Krusty Krab 2, and run into the Patty Wagon)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Feast your eyes, Patrick.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' What is it?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features. Sesame-seed finish, steel-belted pickles, grilled-leather interior. And under the hood, a fuel-injected french-fryer with dual overhead grease traps.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Wow!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, wow!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob: '''You don't need a license to drive a sandwich. (They start the engine, and crash through the side of the Krusty Krab 2.)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Shell City, here we come!<br />
<br />
(Later, Plankton enters the Krusty Krab, looking satisfied with himself. Mr. Krabs is still there, frozen)<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Ding-a-ling. Hey there, old buddy. (Sarcastically) Freeze. One secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make... over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I love you. (Mr. Krabs' tears fall to the ground as Plankton leaves)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 18: Gas Station Teasing===<br />
<br />
(The next scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick riding to a nearby gas station in the Patty Wagon)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah<br />
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah<br />
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah<br />
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!<br />
<br />
(They stop at the gas station, where 2 gas station fish)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Fill her up, please.<br />
<br />
'''Gas Station Fish #1:''' What'll it be, fellas? Mustard... or ketchup?! (Both fish laugh)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Are they laughing at us?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No, Patrick. They're laughing next to us.<br />
<br />
'''Lloyd:''' Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Kids?!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' For your information, we are not kids. We are men. And we're off to get King Neptune's crown in Shell City.<br />
<br />
'''Both:''' Shell City? <br />
<br />
'''Lloyd:'''Ain't that the place that's guarded by a killer Cyclops?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' That's right.<br />
<br />
'''Gas Station Fish #1:''' Lloyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead! You two dipsticks ain't gonna last ten seconds over the county line.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. (He and Patrick get back into the Patty Wagon and pass the county line. A car stealer stops them)<br />
<br />
'''Bully:''' Out of the car, fellas. (SpongeBob and Patrick obey)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' How many seconds was that?<br />
<br />
'''Lloyd:''' Twelve.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' In your face! That's what I'm talking about. Yeah! <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Who's the kid now? (Both walk away)<br />
<br />
'''Gas Station Fish #1:''' They're dead.<br />
<br />
===Chapter 19: The Inevitable Has Happened===<br />
<br />
(The scene moves to a crowd entering the Chum Bucket back in Bikini Bottom. Perch Perkins is in front, once again reporting on TV)<br />
<br />
'''Perch Perkins:''' Perch Perkins here with an incredible news flash. Plankton is selling Krabby Patties at the Chum Bucket. How is this possible? Let's find out. (He goes inside)<br />
<br />
(Inside, Plankton is watching his new customers)<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Step right up. Plenty for everybody.<br />
<br />
'''Perch Perkins:''' Excuse me, Plankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom News. Can I get a minute?<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Anything for you, Perch.<br />
<br />
'''Perch Perkins:''' All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty?<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Well, Perch, before my dear friend Eugene Krabs was frozen by King Neptune... I'm sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. "Sell the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket," he said. "Don't let the flame die out." (sobs) By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchase. Here you go, Perch. (He plants a bucket helmet on his head)<br />
<br />
'''Perch Perkins:''' Thanks.<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Bucket helmets for everyone!<br />
<br />
'''Man:''' (happily) My helmet!<br />
<br />
(Plankton enters his lab, where Karen is)<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife.<br />
<br />
'''Karen:''' I never agreed.<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Evil Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now.<br />
<br />
'''Karen:''' Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. (Displays SpongeBob and Patrick on the road on her computer screen) My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints. (Plankton looks at his hands)<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!<br />
<br />
===Chapter 20: Meet Dennis===<br />
<br />
(Miles away, we see a hitman wearing sunglasses traveling on his motorcycle down the road. He looks tough. VERY tough. He stops his motorcycle in front of the gas station. The hitman, Dennis, sees a sesame seed from the Patty Wagon on the ground)<br />
<br />
'''Dennis:''' (takes off sunglasses in another one) Sesame seed.<br />
<br />
'''Gas Station Fish #1:''' Hey, mister, does that hat take ten gallons? (Both gas station fish <br />
laugh. For this, Dennis rips of their mouths and drives away)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 21: Thug Tug Trouble===<br />
<br />
(Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are still going) <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Going on.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! Moving on. Just keep going.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Yup.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Gonna get that crown.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Oh, yeah. All right.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Victory.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Are we there yet?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' We must be close by now. (Sees a sign) Patrick, look. We're doing great! Shell City's only five days away. (A leaf blocking part of the sign comes off, revealing 2 more words)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' By car.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I wish we still had our car.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, look!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Our car! (We see the Patty Wagon in front of a beat-up bar. SpongeBob and Patrick are about ready to get in the Patty Wagon, but SpongeBob notices that the key is missing)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 21.5: Level 4===<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' The key.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Where do you think it is? (A man is thrown out of the bar, the Thug Tug, groaning in pain. SpongeBob and Patrick peek in through the window and see the key in the car stealer's pocket)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' There it is, Pat. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I know. Walk in and ask him for it. <br />
<br />
'''Thug:'''What are you looking at?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, that's a terrible idea.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Sorry.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I know. I'll go in and create a distraction, and you get the key.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Wait. I wanna do the distraction.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay. I guess it really doesn't matter who does the distraction.<br />
<br />
(Patrick then walks inside the Thug Tug, looking tough)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Can I have everybody's attention? (Everybody comes closer to Patrick) I have to use the bathroom.<br />
<br />
'''Car Stealer:''' It's right over there. (Spots SpongeBob trying to take the key from him. SpongeBob makes up something else)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Stupid contacts. Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off. (Runs away)<br />
<br />
(Inside the restroom, Patrick is whizzing. He finishes as SpongeBob comes in)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick. You call that a distraction?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Well, I had to go to the bathroom.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I got my hands dirty for nothing. (SpongeBob pushes the soap dispenser and bubbles came out.) Patrick, check it out!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hooray! Bubble party! (The duo parties with the bubbles. One floats out of the restroom and into the Thug Tug bar)<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' Hey! Who blew this bubble? You all know the rules!<br />
<br />
'''Everybody in the Thug Tug:''' All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' That's right! So who blew it? So nobody knows.<br />
<br />
'''Tough Guy #1:''' Maybe it was...<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' Shut up! (Throws a chair on him) Somebody in here ain't a real man. (Sees SpongeBob and Patrick trying to sneak out) You! We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. Now, everybody line up. DJ, time for the test. No baby can resist singing along to this. (The Goofy Goober theme song plays)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, it's the Goofy Goober theme song.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I know. (SpongeBob and Patrick try to resist to sing along)<br />
<br />
'''Goofy Goober (On record):''' Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah <br />
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah <br />
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah<br />
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah<br />
<br />
'''Tough Guy #2:''' (coughs)<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' It was you! You're the baby!<br />
<br />
'''Tough Guy #2:''' No, no! I only coughed, I swear. (The owner eyes him)<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' DJ! Turn it up louder!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Don't sing along, Patrick!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick: '''I'm trying. Trying so hard. (The owner notices his and SpongeBob's struggle and starts singing)<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah<br />
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah <br />
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah!<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick are about to sing, when some double-headed twins sing instead)<br />
<br />
'''Double Headed Twins:''' Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:'''Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it?<br />
<br />
'''Double Headed Twins #1 and #2:'''It was him. He did it. I've never even eaten at... Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!<br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby! (All of the tough guys start beating them up while SpongeBob and Patrick sneak out of the Thug Tug)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Man, that was a close call.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Guess what I got. (Pulls out the key)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' The key!<br />
<br />
(He and Patrick start up the Patty Wagon, get in, and drive away)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 22: Squidward Finds Out===<br />
<br />
(Back in Bikini Bottom the next morning, Squidward is enjoying the time without SpongeBob) <br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here. (He starts to ride his bike around town)<br />
<br />
'''Fish:''' Morning. (Squidward notices he is wearing a Chum Bucket helmet)<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Some people have no taste in headgear. (Looks around more and sees everyone with a helmet, even a baby) Babies too? (Rides over to a female fish in a boat, waiting for the light to change) Excuse me, miss, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear?<br />
<br />
'''Female Fish:''' (She looks around) Who said that?<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Down here.<br />
<br />
'''Female Fish:''' (Finds Squid) Well, I got it at the Chum Bucket. Plankton's giving them away free with every Krabby Patty.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Chum Bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?<br />
<br />
'''Female Fish:''' That's right.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Something Smells fishy around here. Aha! It's Plankton's fault.<br />
<br />
(At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is enjoying his day and watching his customers. Squidward bursts in)<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh, Plankton?<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' That's right, Squidward. (Pulls out a helmet) And there's a free bucket helmet<br />
with every purchase. Care for one?<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' And what's that supposed to mean?<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him<br />
and you could finally get your stubby little paws on the Krabby Patty formula. (Plankton looks at his hands) It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck.<br />
And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips. (Presses a button on Karen)<br />
<br />
'''Karen:''' Now activating helmet brain-control devices.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Huh? What? (A satellite goes up on the Chum Bucket, causing the bucket helmets to<br />
start to control their wearers)<br />
<br />
'''Wearers of Helmets:''' All hail Plankton.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (Eyes widened) What's going on here?<br />
<br />
'''Plankton's Slaves (Wearers of Helmets):''' All hail Plankton.<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Seize him, slaves!<br />
<br />
'''Slaves:''' All hail Plankton.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I'm getting out of here! (Runs for the door, but more slaves burst in and corner him) <br />
<br />
'''Slaves:''' All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.<br />
<br />
(Squidward, cornered, screams in horror as Plankton's slaves capture him) <br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' Who can stop me now? Who?!<br />
<br />
===Chapter 23: Frog Fish Mayhem===<br />
<br />
(Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are still traveling in the Patty Wagon. They are laughing from something Patrick has done) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Pat, one more time.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Okay. (Imitates the guy who owns the Thug Tug) We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Weed them out. What a jerk. The road's getting kind of bumpy here.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' You know, SpongeBob, there's a lesson to be learned from all of this.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What's that, Patrick?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' A bubble-blowing double baby doesn't belong out here in man's country.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. (Then realizes something) Wait. We blew that bubble. Doesn't that make us<br />
a bubble-blowing double baby? (Both think about this until he spots a free ice cream stand) Hey, look, free ice cream!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Oh, boy! (Talks to self) How you doing? Wait a minute. (Patrick looks at his surroundings and looked worried) Wait a minute. SpongeBob!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Make mine a chocolate!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Got you covered. (To the old woman) Two, please.<br />
<br />
'''Old Woman:''' Certainly. You kids enjoy. <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, we're men, lady, but thanks. (Gets bowl) Hey, Patrick, let's... (His hand is stuck on the bowl, which the old woman is still holding) You can let go now. I said, let go, please. What is this? What kind of old lady are you? (A huge frog fish comes out of the ground, revealing that the old woman was its tongue. When the frog fish is about to eat SpongeBob, he breaks lose and falls into the Patty Wagon)<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Did you get the ice cream? (frog fish roars)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Step on it, Patrick! (Patrick drives the Patty Wagon at top speed away from the frog fish, which is in hot pursuit, as he and SpongeBob scream)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 24: Thug Tug Wrecked===<br />
<br />
(Dennis has arrived at The Thug Tug, at that time, and is looking around. He finds SpongeBob and Patrick's bubble. Suddenly, all of the thugs appear) <br />
<br />
'''Thug Tug Owner:''' Hey! (Dennis turns around) You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles. (Snaps his fingers and all of the thugs say the rule)<br />
<br />
'''All Thugs:''' All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied person... (Dennis punches the owner into the Thug Tug, which breaks and falls into the ground, then drives away)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 25: We're Just Kids===<br />
<br />
(Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick still fleeing from the monster)<br />
<br />
'''Old Woman:''' Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. I'll let you pet Mr. Whiskers. <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Jump for it, Patrick! (They jump out of the Patty Wagon, which the monster eats. Another monster eats that monster, and a monster about 4,000 feet long eats that one. SpongeBob and Patrick stare in disbelief) Well, we lost our car again.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Never mind the car, where's the road? Road, road, road, road, road, road, road, r... Sorry.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' There's the road. On the other side of this (Looks down the trench in front of them) deep, dark... dangerous...<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hazardous.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hazardous...<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Monster-infested.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, monster-infested... trench.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hey, SpongeBob, look! Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City. (Patrick took the first step and monsters grawls) Hey, look, it's making noise. SpongeBob? (Sees him about to leave) Hey, where are you going?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm going home, Patrick.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' But what about Mr. Krabs?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What about us? We'll never survive in that trench. You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. We're just...kids.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' We're not kids.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Open your eyes, Patrick! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! We don't belong out here!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' We do not worship him.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (Pulls down his shorts) You've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight. (We see Patrick's underwear with the Goofy Goober on it) What do you call that?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Worship? (Gets tears in his eyes) You're right, SpongeBob. We are kids. (Runs around then falls down) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' But you can't go home.<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob and Patrick see that the voice belongs to Mindy) <br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Mindy! (Struggles to put his shorts on)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mindy? How much did you hear?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' I heard enough.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Did you see my underwear?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' No, Patrick.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Did you want to?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Look, guys, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What do you mean, the only ones left?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. (Pulls out a magical clam, which opens up revealing Bikini Bottom now) Or should I say Planktopolis.<br />
<br />
'''Slaves:''' All hail Plankton.<br />
<br />
'''Plankton:''' No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't gonna build itself. Move faster! <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, my gosh! Patrick, look! Plankton's turned everyone we know into slaves. (We see what everyone is doing for Plankton) Squidward, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, (SpongeBob gasps) even Gary. <br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow Plankton.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Can't your father do something?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything. (The magical clam shows Neptune's bald spot about to be sprayed by the Squire with hair growth spray)<br />
<br />
'''Neptune:''' Squire, will you hurry? (The Squire is nervous. He closes his eyes and sprays. Well, he accidentally sprays Neptune's eyes, which grow hair)<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' (She closes the clam) So you see, you can't quit. The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' But... But we're just...<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. What's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You don't need to be a man to do this. You just gotta believe in yourself. You just gotta believe! (Swims up into the sky, then comes back down) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I believe.<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' That's the spirit.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I believe that everybody we know is a goner! (He and Patrick begin crying)<br />
<br />
===Chapter 26:Now That We're Men===<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Come on, guys. (They don't stop) Guys. (They still don't stop) Guys? Guys? (No answer) Oh, boy. Think, Mindy, think. (Then she comes up with an idea) Yup, I guess you're right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. That's why I guess I'll just have to turn you into men. (SpongeBob and Patrick stop crying)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You can do that? How?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' With my mermaid magic.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Did you hear that, Patrick? She'll use her mermaid magic to turn us into men!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hooray! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Good. Now, let's get started. Close your eyes.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Are we men yet?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Not yet. Spin around three times.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (Whispers) I think it's working. (They turn around like they are doing ballet)<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. (Grabs two sea weed and puts them onto SpongeBob and Patrick as mustache) With my mermaid's magic and my one tailfin (Patrick giggles), I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't feel any... (Notices that Patrick has a "mustache") Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' So do you!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' So now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City? (SpongeBob and Patrick adores their mustaches) Guys!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Yeah?<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' I said, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Heck, yeah!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' Are men afraid of anything?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Heck, no!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' And why?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Because we're invincible! (Jump off trench) Yeah!<br />
<br />
'''Mindy:''' I never said that!<br />
<br />
(As they fall, SpongeBob and Patrick do tough moves) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Yeah, buddy?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Bec... well...<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (A branch catches them and stops them from falling and they land safely on the ground) Patrick.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Are we dead?<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob''' No, far from it, my friend. We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. The mustaches worked! Do you know what that means?<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' We are invincible!<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (Burst into song, the whole time dodging monsters) <br />
Now that we're men, we can do anything. <br />
Now that we're men, we are invincible. <br />
Now that we're men, we'll go to Shell City, get the crown, save the town, and Mr. Krabs. <br />
Now that we're men,<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' We have facial hair.<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Now that we're men,<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I change my underwear. (Does so)<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Now that we're men, we've got a manly flair. We've got the stuff.<br />
We're tough enough to save the day. We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No! <br />
But take <br />
a look at what the mermaid did. Ha! Ha! Ha! (The two begin dancing and slapping their bodies) <br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, go, Pat. Oh yeah.<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Yeah, go, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
'''Monsters:''' Hooray!<br />
<br />
'''Monsters:''' Now that they're men, <br />
We can't bother them. <br />
Now that they're men, they have become our friends. <br />
Now that they're men, there'll be a happy end. <br />
They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. <br />
They'll pass the test and finish the quest. <br />
They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]<br />
<br />
{{Movie/Dialogue}}<br />
{{Movie}}<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Gary_Takes_A_BathEpisode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath2009-07-17T16:14:23Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Wanne ist voll]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Shanghaied|Shanghied]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Welcome to the Chum Bucket|Welcome to the Chum Bucket]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Gary Takes a Bath]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Gary]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary! Looks like it's that time of week again: bath time. Come on, let's go get the water started. You're gonna have to get in that tub, Gary. Now, Gary, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, or the medium way, or the semi-medium-easy-hard way, or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way... So that's how you wanna play it, huh? Gary! Check out this new toy. (Throws the ball to Fetch.)..(toy boomerangs back to SpongeBob and reads the box) *New* Boomerang Pet Ball: Really Works! Hmmm. (throws the box but it boomerangs back and hits SpongeBob in the head) Gary! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in 3 seconds unless you take a bath!... Please... (bomb explodes)... I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. (random pictures come up then a Scottish Girl picture appears) "I'm sorry you had to see that." (on the phone) Hello, Fancy French Restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath. What? Can you say that again? Slow down. It's like your speaking some other language! (hangs up) Hey Gar! How 'bout some leap frog? Weehee! Ok, your turn. (flips Gary into the wall and breaks his shell) Hey Gar! How 'bout some leap frog? (a cane hits him in the head)... I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house! (Mr Krabs comes in taking a bath then takes the dollar)... Ya-da-da-da... stops dancing That didn't work either, huh? (SpongeBob dresses as a pirate) Gary! Gary! Look what I found! It's an old, pirate treasure map revealing a location of buried pirate treasure in this very house. Come on, boy, let's go get that treasure. Whoo! Ok, Gary, now 40 paces to the left. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...24, 25, 26, twenty seveeen,... 40. The treasure must be in here! (opens bathroom door) Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Why no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub. It's treasure. Look, dabloons. (shows 2 bars of soap) Don't <br />
drop 'em... Look at this ducky! (shows a rubber duck)<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob''': I don't know what a snail would want with a broach. Now why don't you just get into the tub. (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful) Get in the tub! (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub!! (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub... (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to... (picks up Gary but both stick to the ceiling) Gary, could you... (one of Gary's eyes go back in and SpongeBob loses grip) Gary, no! Gary! (SpongeBob falls in the tub). Alright, Gary, you <br />
have dooped, and/or, frustrated me for the last time. So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath come to you. (absorbs all the water in the bathtub). Psst, Gary. Bath delivery. (SpongeBob spits water at Gary but misses). Come back, Gary. I have something to share with you. (SpongeBob spits a lot of water at Gary but misses) Now this is more like it. Water you waiting for, Gary?<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' (Meowing in a tree) <br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Aww, stuck in a tree? It's time to clean up your act, Gary. (spits out water at Gary but realizes its a record playing Gary's meows). Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard and removed his skin. (Gary takes the ladder off the tree) Gary! Bring that ladder back this instant. I am really not amused, mister. You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I am so the boss of you.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules.<br><br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say when I say. What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister. Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary, the snail, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle. One, two, two and a half...don't make me say three. Gary leans over the puddle Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! (SpongeBob falls in the mud puddle). I'm a dirty boy.<br />
<br />
'''Gary:''' Meow.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, yeah, Gary. I'm getting behind my ears. (Gary smiles).<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Mid-Life_CrustaceanEpisode Transcript: Mid-Life Crustacean2009-07-17T00:53:01Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Great Snail Race|The Great Snail Race]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Born Again Krabs|Born Again Krabs]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Mid-Life Crustacean (Episode)|Mid-Life Crustacean]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]<br />
*[[Patrick Star]]<br />
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Pearl]]<br />
*[[Mama Krabs]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Mr. Krabs wakes up in his hammock in his bedroom. The radio clicks on)<br><br />
<br />
Radio DJ: You've got it tuned to K-O-L-D, K-Old, your all-oldies station. Here's a little something you may remember from the good old days. (song plays)<br />
<br />
Music: "[[You're Old]]"<br />
You're old (you're old...)<br />
Groaning like a geezer <br />
(Mr. Krabs opens his eyes, which are crusty)<br />
Hear yourself a-crackin' like an old has-been <br />
(gets out of bed with all his joints cracking when he moves)<br />
Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins <br />
(looking in his bathroom mirror. He pulls down his shirt to show a bunch of chins)<br />
'Cause you're old...<br />
<br />
(scene cuts to the kitchen. Mr. Krabs sits down at the table as Pearl comes in)<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Good morning, Daddy! (gives him a kiss) I made you breakfast.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Thank you, sweet pea. I see you got creative with the bran today. (looks down at the plate to see his bran shaped as bacon, eggs, juice, and others)<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Open up, it's time for the pill!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, barnacles! I hate the pill. (Pearl shoves the pill in his mouth and he swallows it) Pearl, do you think I'm...old?<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Well, of course I do! But that's ok. Daddies are supposed to be old.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: But I'm still cool, right? Your old man is cool?<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: See, no one says cool anymore. That's such an old-person thing. Now we say 'coral', as in, 'That nose job is so coral.'<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Coral, eh?<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Eww, when you say it, it sounds so uncoral.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, what if I said it with a different inflection? Co-ral.<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Don't you have to go to work or something, Dad?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Whoop, you're right! (eats his breakfast) Have a coral day, honey!<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: (picks up her phone and dials) Jenny? It's Pearl. Coral is definitely out. (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs walking outside)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ha! Old? What was I thinkin'? I ain't old. Huh? (turns around to see a boy helping him walk across)<br><br />
<br />
Boy scout: Don't worry, Pops, we're almost across the street.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, get away from me. I don't need no snot-nosed little... (as he walks away, his arm comes off. Walks back to get it) Sorry you had to see that. (keeps walking to work where a fish is walking behind him)<br><br />
<br />
Fish: Come on, move it! Could you be any slower? And you've had your blinker on for the last five blocks. (Mr. Krabs turns around and notices he has two signals on his bottom. He continues to walk until a ball rolls next to him)<br><br />
<br />
Kid: Hey, mister, could you throw the ball back over here?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (picks up the ball) Hey, how's about I join you kids?<br><br />
<br />
Kid: Uhh, that's okay. You can keep it. Why do old people always have to ruin the fun? (Mr. Krabs drops the ball. He walks up to a line of elderly fish)<br><br />
<br />
Elderly Fish #1: Hey, no cuttin'! You gotta wait your turn like everybody else! (Mr. Krabs notices a long line in front of the Bikini Bottom Cemetery)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No! No! I ain't old like you! I ain't old! I ain't old! (runs away)<br><br />
<br />
Elderly Fish #2: What's his problem? (the line is for ice cream)<br />
<br />
Lou: Next. (scene cuts to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is sitting a table depressed)<br><br />
<br />
Billy: Mommy, my Krabby Patty tastes funny.<br><br />
<br />
Mother: Well, no wonder. It's all old and dried out. Like that man right there. (points to Mr. Krabs) Now put that thing where it belongs... in the garbage. (Billy walks up to the trashcan but Mr. Krabs grabs his patty before he can get there)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, little patty, we're two of a kind. We've both lost our luster. (takes a bite out of the patty) Hmmm, so that's what I taste like.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew! (SpongeBob pokes his head out of the kitchen window)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (screams) Hey Patrick! You all ready for the big night out tonight?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (screams) Yeah, it's gonna rock!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you ready to go crazy?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm already hearing voices!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you ready to...<br><br />
<br />
Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! do you mind?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Let's continue this conversation in private, Patrick. I think some people are eavesdropping!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, how rude of some people!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, those youngsters are going out for a big night on the town. (stretches his eyes into the kitchen where SpongeBob & Patrick are talking)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Whoo, I've been looking forward to this night all week!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Party!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What do you think we should do first?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: What shouldn't we do first? We're young, (Mr. Krabs' eyes move a little closer) we've got wheels, (Mr. Krabs' eyes move closer) the world is our oyster! SpongeBob, you got something on your shoulder. (SpongeBob notices Mr. Krabs' eyes are on his shoulders)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hey, boys, hangin' out?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: (looks at his belly) Yes.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I couldn't help overhearing your big plans. And I was wondering if you had room for one more craaaaazy dude tonight, huh?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Of course. Did you wanna come with us, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hadn't even crossed me mind. But, sure, I'll go!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I don't know, SpongeBob. He might cramp our style.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: (appears in a picture with a goofy look on them) Style!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let's see if he knows the secret cool-guy handshake. (holds out his hand)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uhh, yeah, course I know it! (begins to sweat) Uhh... uhh...<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm waiting... old man.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (shakes Patrick's hand) Uhh... how do you do?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Fine, and you? All right, you're in. But I'm not happy about it.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You passed the test, Mr. Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Great! Why don't you boys show up at my house at eight o'clock?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I just want to warn you, Mr. Krabs. We're always fashionably late.<br><br />
<br />
Narrator: 8:01 PM. (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' house. The doorbell rings)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey there, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready to party?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, Patrick?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to par- (Pearl runs by them)<br><br />
<br />
Pearl: Stop it, just stop it! You're embarrassing me, Dad!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: So, what kind of hot rod will we be cruising in tonight?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Only the most powerful chick magnet in town. The Underwater Heartbreaker. (we see a bike with two streamers on each handle)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: It's more like a chick repellent. And there's only two seats!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Calm your waters, Mr. Krabs. I modified this little baby myself. (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick riding at the front of the bike while Mr. Krabs is in a wagon behind them)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure this is what the kids are driving these days?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Only the cool kids. (a hot rod, driven by a young teen, pulls up beside them)<br><br />
<br />
Driver: Hey, you guys must be lost. Doofus Drive is around the corner!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We're not lost, I've got my compass. (shows him the compass)<br><br />
<br />
Driver: So long, dorks! (speeds away)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Goodbye, pals!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: We used to beat people up for saying things like that! Everything's all topsy-turvy now! (they pull up to 'The Wash')<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Here we are: The Wash.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: They sure are giving these clubs some crazy names! I have to tell you boys... I'm a little nervous. I haven't been, you know, on the scene for quite a while now.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Just follow our lead, Mr. Krabs. And, above all, keep it cool.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Cool. Gotcha. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk away jumping up and down in a goofy way. Mr. Krabs does the same)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (opens door) Hello, gang! SpongeBob’s back!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Let's party!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Any port in a store...! wait a minute. This is a Laundromat. (scene shows the entire room is a place to do your laundry)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: (all three looking at their reflections in the washer) Oh yeah, whoo! That's what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah! Yeah, the colors! whoo! (washer stops)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You guys want another rinse cycle? I'm buying.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: You know, I love staring at delicates as much as the next guy, but it's just that I thought we'd see more of the nightlife. Something that'll give you that wild and crazy hot-blooded feeling, if you know what I mean.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I know what you mean, Mr. Krabs. This is only stop numero uno on our night of debauchery!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Debauchery!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Debauchery! (scene cuts to the road where all three are picking up trash) Debauchery? I never thought of picking up trash under the highway as hot-blooded, but if it's what the kids are into...<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: So, are you feeling that wild and crazy feeling, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Not yet.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Don't worry, you will. (scene cuts to all three in a kiddie swimming pool) Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling a warm spot.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Sorry. (scene cuts to them riding kiddie rides outside Barg'N-Mart)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? Are you feeling it?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm feeling it, SpongeBob!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's not a ride! (Patrick is riding on a fish's back)<br><br />
<br />
Fish: Get off of me! (scene cuts to them getting their teeth pulled)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to them redoing a roof) Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to them dressed in costumes) Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to the library) Can you feel it now, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Librarian: Shh! (scene cuts to an area for kids to play in)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How about now? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? (kids in the room around running around Mr. Krabs, hanging on his hat streamers. Mr. Krabs has clown make-up on his face)<br><br />
<br />
Kids: Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: So, you wanna know if I can feel it?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Do you really wanna know if I can feel it?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah, yeah!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Because I can feel it. You wanna know what I'm feelin'?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yes!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (angry) I'm feelin' like a total barnacle head! (swings the kids around and around then off his hat) You think this is cool? (jumps on a bunny and punches its head off) How about this! (jumps on top of the bunny) And this? Am I with it now? (runs up to SpongeBob and Patrick) You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the end! I'm going home. You guys ain't cool. You're lame.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (sad) Lame?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Lame! You're nerds! Geeks! Creeps! And babies!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Not babies! (both suck their thumbs)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night. So good night to you!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: The what?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I said, I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Panty raid? You're talking about girls, right? Girl girls?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: And you're talking about raiding their dressers for their underpants, right?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, count me in! If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two being lame!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: (happy) We're not lame! (scene cuts to the three of them carrying a ladder)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Now this is more like it! (lean the ladder against a house)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Give us some credit, old man. We're panty professionals! (climbs the ladder)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We score here all the time. (all three tiptoe into a bedroom. Mr. Krabs opens a drawer and takes out a pair of panties)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Frilly things! We hit the jackpot! (everyone jumps up and down)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah, Mr. Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (holds up the pair of underwear he got) You finally came through for me, boys! I feel young again! (light turns on)<br><br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: Eugene?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Mother?<br><br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: What are you doing with my bloomers?<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uhh, uhh, heh, hehe... (turns around to SpongeBob and Patrick) Why didn't you tell me this was my mother's house?!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why didn't you ask? (both run away. Mr. Krabs turns around to his mother smiling)<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: But it was all SpongeBob and Patrick's idea!<br><br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: Go to your room, mister! You're grounded for the rest of the night!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (walks away) Yes, Mommy. (boy scout from earlier is walking with Mr. Krabs)<br><br />
<br />
Boyscout: Don't worry, Pops. We're almost to your room. (Mr. Krabs groans. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' bedroom. SpongeBob peeks through the window)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (sighs) That's all right, lad. I certainly feel younger. (scene zooms out revealing Mr. Krabs is sitting in his racecar-shaped bed)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Good night, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Good night, SpongeBob.<br><br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: Eugene, lights out!<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes, Mommy. (light turns off)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 3}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Sing_a_Song_of_PatrickEpisode Transcript: Sing a Song of Patrick2009-07-16T22:18:54Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Krusty Sponge|The Krusty Sponge]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: A Flea in Her Dome|A Flea in Her Dome]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Sing a Song of Patrick]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*Coach<br />
*Angry Mob<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(The first shot shows the whole town of Bikini Bottom. Pan in to show Patrick at a comic store, moved to tears by the comic, causing quite a ruckus.)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ah!!! No!!! No!!!<br />
<br />
(He stops crying and starts cheering loudly.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Yay!!! Ha Ha!!! Ha Ha!!!<br><br />
<br />
Fish #1: If only "Inaudible Lad" were here right now.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh.<br><br />
<br />
(He gobbles down the comic book.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Nothing satisfies like a good story.<br><br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks up to Patrick with a pile of 20-40 comic books. But Patrick can't see SpongeBob.)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Are you ready to go, Patrick?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Ahh! Get back! I wasn't gonna eat all of you!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Sponge-!!!<br><br />
<br />
(He is cut off by a loud belch. An advertisement from the comic book blows onto SpongeBob's face.)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What's this?<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Whatever it is, it's mine! Unless I don't want it.<br />
<br />
(He looks it over.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hmm... SpongeBob!!! What do all these words say?<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's an ad! (Reading) "Dear comic book reader..."<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: That's me!!!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: ..."Have you ever thought about turning one of your poems into a hit song on the radio?"...<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I've never thought about anything!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: ..."Send in your poem and $100 and we'll make it a hit!" Can we go, now? My arms are getting tired.<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I wanna send in my poem and everyone would love it, and I would be a star!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You can't always trust ads in comic books. Those X-Ray specs I ordered couldn't see through people's skin at all. Only their clothes. Plus, you don't have $100.<br><br />
<br />
(His wallet falls out of his back pants pocket, and he struggles to reach for it with his legs.)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, could you get my wallet?<br><br />
<br />
(Patrick picks it up.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, look, I just found $100! It's a sign that I should make my hit record!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, that's my comic book money!<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: It's a sign! A sign that fell from the back of your pants! I've learned to trust signs like that.<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (As Patrick walks away) Patrick!<br><br />
<br />
Comic Book Shopkeeper: Hey, you gonna pay for those comics?<br><br />
<br />
(SpongeBob's arms pop off from the weight of the comics.)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No. <br />
<br />
(Cut outside where we see SpongeBob being kicked out of the "Near Mint Comic Books" store.) Can I have my arms back?<br><br />
<br />
(Cut to Patrick standing outside SpongeBob's pineapple house, talking to him.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: I wish not to be disturbed, SpongeBob. For I am about to erupt with masterpiece!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Good luck!<br><br />
<br />
(Patrick leaves and SpongeBob shuts the door. Then, the doorbell rings.)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Coming!<br><br />
<br />
(Patrick opens the door, crushing SpongeBob behind it.)<br><br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob! Can I borrow a pencil and a piece of paper and a place to work?(cut to other room) SpongeBob, this pencil won't make words!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You have to think of the words yourself.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I think I wrote a poem once... (cut to flashback) A poem by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom. (swallows paper)<br />
<br />
Gym teacher: How many times do I have to tell you, this is gym class.(blows whistle) Dodge balls. (Patrick gets pelted with Dodge balls)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Dodge balls. (SpongeBob walks in with what looks like a dodge ball)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!<br />
<br />
Patrick: (screams) Don't hit me with that dodge ball! (light turns on, pan over to see SpongeBob holding Gary)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why would I hit you with a Dodge ball?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I've never told anyone this, I wrote a poem once.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gasps) No!<br />
<br />
Patrick: It gets worse, When I read it to the class, the pelted me with dodge Balls, just because we were playing dodge ball! (cries, scary music plays, SpongeBob takes needle off record)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You can play your records later, Gary. Is that why you've been having trouble writing?<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm afraid you won't like it and you'll pelt me with dodge balls.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I don't even own a dodge ball, do you, Gary?<br />
<br />
Gary: Meow.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm going to write this poem, I'm even gonna use my brain!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Good thinking, Pat. I'll open a window.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Come on, work you stupid brain! Work! Work! (grunting, gears start turning inside his head) It's working (starts writing, smoke comes out of the window)<br />
<br />
Squidward: Huh? (face shrivels up)What is that horrible smell? (SpongeBob walks outside) Is Patrick thinking again? (Patrick sticks head out window)<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm making art!!!<br />
<br />
Squidward: Patrick, it smells like something crawled in your brain and died.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ready to go to the post office? (shows envelope full of something) I want to mail in my masterpiece. (cut to Bigshot records)<br />
<br />
Singer #1: ... and that's why your my cookie wooky teddy bear.(music stops)<br />
<br />
Singer #2: I hate my life.<br />
<br />
Singer #3: I hate your life, too.<br />
<br />
Manager: People, we've got 17 more songs to finish this hour! The next one is "I wrote this" by Patrick Star. (vomits a little, band member takes paper)<br />
<br />
Singer #4: This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up.<br />
<br />
Singer #1: Oh yeah? (eyeballs implode)<br />
<br />
Manager: I don't care how awful his song is; we spent his hundred bucks already!!!<br />
<br />
Singer #1: C'mon guys, we're gonna do this if it kills us. And a one, and a two, and a... (cut to bands funeral)<br />
<br />
Fish #1: They wanted you to have this. (hands Patrick his song)<br />
<br />
Patrick: My song!! Whoo! (cut to SpongeBob's house) Now you promise not to hit me with a dodge ball?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I see no dodge balls here, just an artist and his work.<br />
<br />
Patrick: And me! Now get comfortable. (SpongeBob sits down, Patrick pushes in giant amplifier)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick.<br />
<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants, are you ready to rock?!? Whoo! (sits down next to SpongeBob, pushes button on remote, loud music starts)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It's really loud!!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: You want it louder? Okay!!<br />
<br />
==Song:I Wrote This ==<br />
<br />
Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star<br />
I made myself a sandwich<br />
<br />
My mommy named it "Fred"<br />
It tastes like beans and bacon<br />
And smells like it's been dead<br />
<br />
Writing stuff is hard,<br />
so I use a pointy pencil<br />
<br />
pointy, pointy, pointy,<br />
pointy, pointy, point.<br />
P.U., what's that horrible smell<br />
<br />
I have a head, it ends in a point.<br />
pointy, pointy, pointy,<br />
pointy, pointy, point.<br />
<br />
This song is over,<br />
except for this line<br />
You win this round, Broccoli<br />
<br />
(house melts, amplifier falls on SpongeBob and Patrick)<br />
<br />
Patrick: That was AWSOME! So how was it, did you like it, or did you really like it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: oh, well Patrick, they're is no easy way to say this..... THAT WAS THE GREATEST SONG I EVER HEARD!<br />
<br />
Patrick: You really mean it?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yeah, we gotta get that on the radio!(Patrick pulls SpongeBob's arm off) Darn, I just got that arm back. (cut to radio station)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Man, I can't Wait to see the look on their face when they hear this!!(someone screams, SpongeBob and Patrick thrown out)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Did you see the look on his face?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah. Did you see his ears?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I didn't know they could turn inside-out like that. Now how are we gonna get your record on the radio?<br />
<br />
Patrick: What record?<br />
<br />
Spongebob: I've got an idea![cut to later where SpongeBob and Patrick are on the roof] [wind howls as SpongeBob and Patrick shiver] We just have to play your record from the top of this antenna.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Carry me?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh? Patrick-- [Patrick lands on top of SpongeBob and SpongeBob picks him up, struggling]<br />
<br />
Patrick: Tally ho! Marsh! Onward and upward! [SpongeBob is struggling to get to the top of the antenna] Faster, SpongeBob! Faster! [Patrick sees a spaceship go by. At last, they were on the top of the antenna. Patrick stands on SpongeBob's face, takes out his record player and then puts it on the top of the antenna but record player wobbles and falls off and Patrick catches it] Oh! Hmm-- This record won't stay put.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: [mumbling to say something] That's really good<br />
<br />
Patrick: Good idea. [takes out bubble gum and throws it in his mouth and chews on it, while making noises and he blows a bubble]<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: [mumbling to say something] [bubble pops and sticks to Patrick's mouth]<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah. I forgot. [pulls gum off and sticks it to the bottom of the record player and puts it on the top of the antenna and turns on the music] [a fish is walking past a radio in a store]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: [singing the poem] Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star--<br />
<br />
Fish #1: [screams] [another fish is driving a boat]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: (fast forward noise)--I made myself a sandwich, My mommy named it Fred--<br />
<br />
Fish #2: [screams] It's in my head! [continues screaming as boat spins around and crashes]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --It tastes like beans and bacon, And smells like it's been dead, [two fish are walking around, listening to music] Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil-- [Fish #3's head disappears]<br />
<br />
Fish #4: Lucky.<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point--<br />
<br />
Fish #5: [to his girlfriend, Evelyn who are at the beach as the song on the radio plays] This song always makes me think of you.<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --P.U., What's that horrible smell?<br />
<br />
[Drum solo follows as Evelyn hits her boyfriend, who goes up high] [everyone screams and runs around because of that song. two fish tip the boat over]<br />
<br />
Fish #6: Stop!<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --I have a head that ends in a Point--<br />
<br />
Pilot #1: [covering his ears] My ears! [they pull the controls off and they jump out of the plane with parachutes]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point-- [the plane lands into the Fireworks Storage and it explodes and fireworks start] --This song is over, Except for this line--<br />
<br />
Old Man Jenkins: I like it. [hums the song]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --you win this round, Broccoli! [song ends but begins again. SpongeBob and Patrick see that Bikini Bottom's having a party]<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, it looks like Bikini Bottom is throwing a party. and you know what a party needs.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh, Bean Dip?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yes, that is important. but I was thinking about music! Turn it up, Patrick! [Patrick turns the volume up]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: It tastes like beans and bacon--<br />
<br />
Fred: [covering his ears] Where is that awful song coming from?<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --And smells like it's been dead--<br />
<br />
Fred: [points to the radio station] To the radio station! [everyone marches angrily to the radio station]<br />
<br />
Torch Vendor: Torches! Get your torches! [everyone gets a torch]<br />
<br />
Pitchfork Vendor: Pitchforks! You can't be an angry mob without pitchforks! [everyone gets a pitchfork]<br />
<br />
Cotton Candy Vendor: Cotton Candy! Get your cotton candy!You can't throw a riot without cotton candy."[everyone misses the cotton candy. SpongeBob and Patrick climb down the antenna]<br />
<br />
Eban Schletter on the radio: --I have a head that ends in a Point--<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Look at that, Patrick! [the angry mob is coming]<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, you mean the angry mob with the pitchforks and torches?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: [laughs] That's not an angry mob, Patrick. It's your fan club!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Fan club? [song ends as the angry mob chatters indistinctly] Yee-whoo! We should sing them a song!<br />
<br />
Fred: Who's responsible for that song on the radio? [SpongeBob and Patrick jump off the roof]<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why, he's right here. Patrick Star, Musical Genius. [Patrick drones and burps]<br />
<br />
Fred: Let's get them, boys! [they start chasing them. they beat them up but SpongeBob and Patrick play with instruments wildly. Patrick plays with a guitar, while SpongeBob plays with a chainsaw and a tambourine. they pant heavily]<br />
<br />
Patrick: And that was my new song called-- Arrgh!<br />
<br />
Fred: You know, It's not that bad.<br />
<br />
Fish #3: Yeah. At least it got that first terrible song out of our heads.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, yeah. My song. [strums his guitar] Oh, Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star-- [they hear a whistle blow and it was Patrick's gym teacher from the childhood]<br />
<br />
Gym Teacher: PATRICK! Looks like you need another lesson! DODGEBALLS READY! [everyone gets out a dodgeball]<br />
<br />
Patrick: Uh-oh. [everyone starts throwing dodgeballs at SpongeBob and Patrick who take cover]<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 5}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=User_talk:CFPUser talk:CFP2009-07-16T22:02:39Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Unblock */</p>
<hr />
<div>==RE:Admin==<br />
You're welcome very much. ;-) [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 15:27, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
:Da im amerikanischen Raum das Prinzip des [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use Fair Use] gilt, ist hier eine Markierung nicht zwingend notwendig. Außerdem werden ja hier viele Bilder von der DeSP verwendet, auf deren Bildbeschreibungsseiten das Copyright vermerkt ist. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 15:35, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
==Images==<br />
Ich möchte in nächster Zeit mal wieder eine Bildverkleinerungsaktion starten, damit wir wieder ein paar Bilder hochladen können. Diese Riesenbilder in manchen Artikeln sehen irgendwie doof aus... [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 16:21, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
:Ich meinte ja die deutsche SP, aber da du gerade hier aktiv bist, schreibe ich auch einfach hier. [[User:Myotis|Myotis]] 16:25, 12 January 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
== Sources for No Hat for Pat ==<br />
<br />
Hello! I am responding to your comment to DJ WikiBob. I am the one who discovered the "No Hat for Pat" episode. Here is how I discovered it:<br />
*At the end of the [[Toy Store of Doom (Episode)]] video there are credits for No Hat for Pat<br />
*There is a clip of the episode [http://spongebob.nick.com/videos/play/NTV_spo_nohatforpat_clip/ here] <br />
<br />
You may not be able to view the links if you are outside the US. If you need more proof, let me know.<br />
<br />
I do not know anything about "Patties with Eggs" though. --[[User:Darren|Darren]] 17:17, 20 March 2009 (GMT)<br />
<br />
I think I understand where "Patties with Eggs" may come from. Look at the credits for "Komputer Overload" and in the credits, it may mention "Patties with Eggs" Thanks! [[User:DJ WikiBob|P.S. I'm Wiki Awesome!]] 19:04, 20 March 2009 (GMT)DJ WikiBob<br />
<br />
I checked the credits and I didn't see anything about "Patties with Eggs." --[[User:Darren|Darren]]<br />
<br />
== Thanks ==<br />
<br />
Thank you!<br />
<br />
== Thanks ==<br />
<br />
Thank you!--[[User:Katz2|Katz2]] 00:53, 15 April 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
== Delete ==<br />
<br />
I didn't know there was a delete tag. Thanks for telling me. I'll stopp putting ''NEEDS TO BE DELETED''. Thanks! [[User:DJ WikiBob|P.S. I'm Wiki Awesome!]] 21:01, 20 April 2009 (BST)DJ WikiBob<br />
<br />
== Fixing ==<br />
<br />
What do you mean?Couldn't you have made the images smaller?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:47, 11. Mai 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I wish I could just work here without people deleting my stuff![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:54, 18 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
What did that vandal change on my user page?Cause I wasn't here when you revirted it, I was in the German SpongePedia![[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:07, 26 May 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Do you think I would be a good admin?[[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:44, 13 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Couldn't you just delete one of my other pictures and then I could re-upload the worm picture? -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 18:13, 15 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
==Unblock==<br />
<br />
Hi, could you unblock the Season 6 template? I have to fix something. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:25, 28 June 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Could you let me upload some images? I'm trying to help but I got that stop sign with the hand on it. [[User:Alchemist01|Alchemist01]]<br />
<br />
What does external mean? I don't know all this because I'm new here. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
I found some vocabulary errors in The Krusty Plate transcript, but it is blocked from editing. I need you to unblock it, so I can fix it. In fact, unblock all transcripts in case there's an error in any of them. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Can you delete the Image Alchemist01 uploaded, but please, don't block him!-- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 21:30, 6 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
Hey CFP! Can you delete the image that Alchemist01 uploaded, but don't block him! -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 16:52, 7 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
I see that you ''did'' delete it. I got a smaller version of the image so can I upload it or is the server still full? Because I'm working on an article about a character and I need to put in that image.<br />
<br />
How do I get it on here when I upload it?<br />
<br />
It's not showing up. I did the template. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Look, I don't know how to do it, just let me upload it. It's just one image. Alchemist01<br />
<br />
Hey, can you block Thedrakester in the german SP? He blocked me, and since he is Admin all he does is block people and snarl them away. -- [[User:SpongePappy|SpongePappy]] 17:17, 14 July 2009 (BST)<br />
<br />
{{Users in SpongePedia}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Replacement_DoctorReplacement Doctor2009-07-16T22:00:47Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:347px;" <br />
! colspan="2" | Replacement Doctor <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Gender:''' || Male <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Species:''' || Fish<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Color:''' || Purple<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Height:''' || Tall <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Interests:''' || Acting<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Friends:''' || [[Nurse]], Doctor, Administrator Flotsam, and [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]]. <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''First Appearance:''' || [[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| '''Last Appearance:''' || [[All that Glitters]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Replacement Doctor''' is a character from [[Season 4]] only. For some reason, he replaces [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]] for all of the season except [[SquidBob TentaclePants]] and [[Once Bitten]]. It is unknown what his name is. His first appearance was [[The Lost Mattress]] when he had [[Mr. Krabs]] as his patient. His next appearance was in [[Funny Pants]] when [[Squidward]]'s laugh box burned out. His last appearance was in [[All that Glitters]] where it is revealed that he is not really a doctor.<br />
<br />
==Appearances==<br />
<br />
*[[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
*[[Funny Pants]]<br />
*[[All that Glitters]]<br />
<br />
===Attitude===<br />
Replacement Doctor is known to be a very nice person. He is never mean or harsh to anybody. The only trick he really did was get the job temporarily just to get a part as an actor. Otherwise, he never lies and is an honest person.<br />
<br />
===Looks===<br />
Replacement Doctor is a light purple fish with a white suit and wears the same hat that [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]] wears.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*In [[Funny Pants]], his voice is different.<br />
<br />
*He is only in three episodes that are only from [[Season 4]].<br />
<br />
*In his last appearance, [[All that Glitters]], it is revealed that he is an actor, not a doctor.<br />
<br />
*In [[The Lost Mattress]], he seems to always be wearing a frown.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
*Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life. ([[The Lost Mattress]])<br />
<br />
*There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about... a replacement spatula. Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can. ([[All that Glitters]])<br />
<br />
*Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever. ([[Funny Pants]])<br />
<br />
{{Minor characters}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Character]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Replacement_DoctorReplacement Doctor2009-07-16T22:00:14Z<p>Alchemist01: </p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:347px;" <br />
! colspan="2" | {{Image: 8z0fiu.jpg|Image-URL: http://i32.tinypic.com/8z0fiu.jpg|}}<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Replacement Doctor <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Gender:''' || Male <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Species:''' || Fish<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Color:''' || Purple<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Height:''' || Tall <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Interests:''' || Acting<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''Friends:''' || [[Nurse]], Doctor, Administrator Flotsam, and [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]]. <br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff" <br />
| '''First Appearance:''' || [[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"<br />
| '''Last Appearance:''' || [[All that Glitters]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Replacement Doctor''' is a character from [[Season 4]] only. For some reason, he replaces [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]] for all of the season except [[SquidBob TentaclePants]] and [[Once Bitten]]. It is unknown what his name is. His first appearance was [[The Lost Mattress]] when he had [[Mr. Krabs]] as his patient. His next appearance was in [[Funny Pants]] when [[Squidward]]'s laugh box burned out. His last appearance was in [[All that Glitters]] where it is revealed that he is not really a doctor.<br />
<br />
==Appearances==<br />
<br />
*[[The Lost Mattress]]<br />
*[[Funny Pants]]<br />
*[[All that Glitters]]<br />
<br />
===Attitude===<br />
Replacement Doctor is known to be a very nice person. He is never mean or harsh to anybody. The only trick he really did was get the job temporarily just to get a part as an actor. Otherwise, he never lies and is an honest person.<br />
<br />
===Looks===<br />
Replacement Doctor is a light purple fish with a white suit and wears the same hat that [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]] wears.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*In [[Funny Pants]], his voice is different.<br />
<br />
*He is only in three episodes that are only from [[Season 4]].<br />
<br />
*In his last appearance, [[All that Glitters]], it is revealed that he is an actor, not a doctor.<br />
<br />
*In [[The Lost Mattress]], he seems to always be wearing a frown.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
*Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life. ([[The Lost Mattress]])<br />
<br />
*There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about... a replacement spatula. Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can. ([[All that Glitters]])<br />
<br />
*Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever. ([[Funny Pants]])<br />
<br />
{{Minor characters}}<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Character]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Sun_BleachedEpisode Transcript: Sun Bleached2009-07-16T19:31:32Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{|border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: A Life in a Day|A Life in a Day]]<br />
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Giant Squidward|Giant Squidward]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Sun Bleached (Episode)|Sun Bleached]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] <br />
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]] <br />
*[[Craig Mammalton]] <br />
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] <br />
*[[Nancy]] <br />
*[[Fred]] <br />
*Tyler <br />
*[[Tom]] <br />
*Old Guy <br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
(Episode starts at goo lagoon. Patrick is running there wearing SpongeBob as a towel, and both are laughing. When they get there, he takes him off, then puts on his swim suit)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I thought you left your swim suit at home.<br />
<br />
Patrick: No, I just didn't want to get it all wrinkled up. Last one in is a rotten egg! (runs over to the lagoon laughing)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Rotten eggs? (he then runs over to Patrick laughing. Cuts to scene of a lot of people tanning. Peterson takes out some tan accelerator)<br />
<br />
Pink Fish: Honey.<br />
<br />
Peterson: Huh?<br />
<br />
Pink Fish: You're not using that tan accelerator again, are you?<br />
<br />
Peterson: Oh, don't pretend you don't love it. (pours the entire thing on him, and he turns into a strip of bacon)<br />
<br />
Craig: Good work man, (Pink Fish gasps) I see you've read my book.<br />
<br />
Peterson: Craig Mamalton?<br />
<br />
Pink Fish: The tannest man on TV?<br />
<br />
Craig: (laughs) None other. (winks, then a large crowd surrounds him)<br />
<br />
Sadie: Oh, look at those gorgeous wrinkles.<br />
<br />
Craig: What, these? (shows off his wrinkles, then everyone cheers)<br />
<br />
Nancy: Oh, and his skin, it's so leathery.<br />
<br />
Craig: Well, I don't mean to brag, but uh... (pulls of some of the skin on his feet, revealing leather, and everyone cheers again)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Who's Craig Mammalton?<br />
<br />
Harold: You don't know who Craig Mammalton is? He's like, so tan. Legend has it that his tan is so deep, that even his bones are a rich caramel brown!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow!<br />
<br />
Patrick: His mother must be so proud.<br />
<br />
Craig: Please, people, please. They'll be plenty of time to admire my body this weekend, at my annual summer shindig. (everyone cheers, then lines up to receive invitations)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow Patrick, an invitation to our first summer shindig! And here it is! (Craig won't let go)<br />
<br />
Craig: Can I help you, little fella?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It seems to be stuck.<br />
<br />
Craig: Yeah, I don't think this is your type of party. I don't want to embarrass you guys. Hey everyone, check this out! (everyone comes back) But this party is for the pig-mentally gifted. (shows them the invitation)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Must be this tan to enter.<br />
<br />
Craig: And your skin is as light and smooth as a, well as a baby's bottom. (everyone laughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Why thank you.<br />
<br />
Patrick: We did put on a few extra coats of sun screen today.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: In fact, (SpongeBob gets a lot of sun screen) it's time for another coat. (SpongeBob shapes it into a coat, and puts it on. Patrick also has a coat of sunscreen.)<br />
<br />
Patrick: We've gotta look our best.<br />
<br />
Harold: (hides it with a cough) Losers. (everyone laughs)<br />
<br />
Craig: You're not coming to my party, without a tan. (they're coats then fall off. Scene then cuts to Patrick's rock. It then opens, revealing tanning lights.)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: There, now that we've turned your rock into a tanning bed, we're sure to get tan enough for the party! Let's just test it out first to be sure. (SpongeBob places an apple in the tanning bed. He then presses a button on the outside which turns it on. He then looks at his watch, then turns it off. The apple is all dried out.)<br />
<br />
Both: Hooray! (both run around laughing)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Me first! Me first! (rips off his pants, revealing black speedos, then jumps on the bed. SpongeBob then turns it on, then off. Patrick has a really good tan. He then walks out)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ooh, Patrick, how do you feel?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Like one of those hip young old folks on a soda commercial. (scene cuts to real live old man in a soda commercial)<br />
<br />
Old Man: It's radical! (drinks it) Radical! (drinks it again) Drink it! (scene then cuts back to SpongeBob and Patrick)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: My turn! (SpongeBob jumps in, and his pants and shirts vanish, revealing blue speedos) Remember Patrick, 15 seconds exactly.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Got 'ya, 15 seconds, it'll take a few minutes.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, no, Patrick, 15 seconds exactly! It's really important... (Patrick turns the tanning bed on. Scene then reveals SpongeBob tanning) It's working. (SpongeBob gets a good tan also) Okay Patrick, I'm done. (no answer) Patrick? Patrick, you there? (Patrick is listening to music outside SpongeBob's house) Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? Did somebody say something? (a car with five ladies drives up to him)<br />
<br />
Ladies: Hey, there!<br />
<br />
Lady 1: Is that tan for us?<br />
<br />
Patrick: What? (they bring him into the boat and they drive off)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, it's time for me to get out. (begins to dry out,speedos loosening)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Two hours later. (The boat then drives back up to Patrick's house)<br />
<br />
Lady 2: Do you really have to go Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Afraid so. Bye, girls.<br />
<br />
Ladies: Bye, Pat.<br />
<br />
Lady 3: Huh, he's so leathery. (Patrick turns off the tanning bed, then SpongeBob comes out with loose speedos, and he's "Sun Bleached")<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (in dried out voice) Well Patrick, how do I look? <br />
<br />
Patrick: (screams, and dances around in a ladies shoes and skirt.) Oh, it's you. You don't look too good.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: What, what, what do you mean?<br />
<br />
Patrick: See for yourself. (pulls out a mirror, and SpongeBob screams)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I must have been under the tanning machine too long. (cries, then Patrick pulls off some of his skin)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Ew, what are you gonna do?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'll ask Squidward, he's always so helpful. He'll know what to do. (cuts to them walking up to Squidward) Hi Squidward.<br />
<br />
Squidward: What is it now, Sponge... (sees him and screams) Ghost! I'm sorry I was so mean to you while you were alive, please don't haunt me.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm not a ghost, Squidward. (laughs) I used Patrick's tanning booth, and I stayed under too long.<br />
<br />
Squidward: (laughs) Oh, this is too precious! You're sun bleached! Looks like you won't be at the party. (walks into his house, then opens his top window.) Sun Bleached!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Huh, now I'll never get into that party.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hey, that's quitter talk mister! You're going to that party tonight! What you need, is a makeover! (cuts to SpongeBob on a rock next to Patrick. Patrick uses a hose to make mud, then put's SpongeBob in it. He then wipes the mud out of his eyes, then takes out a bag of Kelp Jerky) A little Kelp Jerky? Open wide. (Patrick puts 2 strips of Kelp Jerky on SpongeBob's teeth. Patrick then pulls out his arm pit hair, screams, then puts it on SpongeBob's head. He then gives him a mirror) What do you think)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (screams) AAAAH! (then he talks in his normal voice) I look, amazing! Time to go to the Party! (cuts to them walking down the street. SpongeBob pats a baby in a stroller) Oh what a cute little baby. Cootchie-cootchie-coo.<br />
<br />
Sadie: I'm scared! (runs away, running over SpongeBob, then comes back and stomps on him then walks off screen) <br />
<br />
Patrick: Well, hey buddy, look like you could use an ice cream. (cuts to them in an ice cream palace. SpongeBob is eating a shake, then eats the cherry) <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, that hit the spot.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (talking to cashier) One caramel sundae please. (cashier gives him one, then he goes back to the table)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I think you'll have to go to the party without me Patrick. There's just no way I can get that golden brown in time. But that's no reason you shouldn't go. (Patrick throws some caramel on SpongeBob) Patrick, why did you...<br />
<br />
Patrick: Can't talk, working.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, really Patrick, what are you... (Patrick smoothes out the caramel, then puts a cherry on it) Uh, I fell sticky.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Take a look. (SpongeBob looks at him self in a mirror)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob Wooh! (hugs Patrick) Thanks Patrick. (tries to let go, but he can't) Uh, I'm stuck. (Scene cuts to the Party. There is a long line, and Craig is judging the peoples tans. He let's one guy in, then another fish comes up)<br />
<br />
Craig: Nice job, ma'am. Join the Party! Ahem, but the baby's going to have to wait outside.<br />
<br />
Pink Fish: But he's the perfect shade of tropical toddler.<br />
<br />
Craig: Yes, but... (takes off his shorts, revealing that his butt is un-tan)<br />
<br />
Pink Fish: (gasps) Tyler, how could you?<br />
<br />
Craig: Now don't worry, ma'am. He can wait out here with the other rejects. (throws him in a trash can, next do a dumpster filled with people)<br />
<br />
Fish 1: Oh, no tears, son. We'll get in next year.<br />
<br />
Craig: Next. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk up) Hey! Hey! Hey! Looks like you two took my advice! Nice job gentlemen. Come on in! (scene cuts to the party, where a lot of people are dancing) All right, party people. It's time to roll out the portables. (some fish bring some tanning lights. Craig then sets the setting on the remote to "Golden". The tanning lights are making SpongeBob's caramel harden)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, no! Caramel, hardening! Gotta get out of here. (tries to walk out, but the caramel hardens) Patrick? Patrick?<br />
<br />
Patrick: What?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Can I get a little help here?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, sure thing pal. Hey everybody make some room! The floor's all yours. Knock 'em dead kid.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, Patrick I... (notices the people staring at him. He laughs nervously, then the caramel cracks, which reveals some light. All gasp, then the caramel breaks)<br />
<br />
Fish 2: So, bright!<br />
<br />
Fish 3: Honey, look away! (fish two's eye's melt. SpongeBob laughs nervously)<br />
<br />
Fred: Nice job!<br />
<br />
Harold: You're hideously white skin just ruined the party! I mean look at you! Do you hug your mother with that skin?! (everyone complains)<br />
<br />
Tina: Can you believe this guy crashed your party? Craig? (Craig walks up to him)<br />
<br />
Craig: I have seen this only one other time. It's the ultimate tan! He's... (pulls a strip from the invitation, revealing the color skin that SpongeBob has) ...Sun Bleached! (all gasp, then fish 2 puts his eyes back in his head, then gasps)<br />
<br />
Fish 2: Sun Bleached?<br />
<br />
Craig: This young man... This young, hero, should be praised for his dedication to tanliness! (all cheer) If you guys are feeling it, we should all follow in his foot steps. (all cheer again) Frankie, crank it up. (Fish 2 uses the remote to put the lights on "Bleached". Everyone dances, then the scene goes up)<br />
<br />
Narrator: Two hours later. (pans back down, revealing that everyone is dust)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, do you think that too much sun is a bad thing? (the wind blows the dust away, so now only there eyes are there)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Whatever. I just go with the flow.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 6}} <br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Sailor_MouthEpisode Transcript: Sailor Mouth2009-07-16T19:19:01Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: I'm with Stupid|I'm with Stupid]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Artist Unknown|Artist Unknown]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Sailor Mouth (Episode)|Sailor Mouth]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Krusty Krab]] customers<br />
*[[Mama Krabs]]<br />
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]<br />
*[[Tom]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again(cringes as he changes the sign to "Closed") Closing time!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, boy!(pulls SpongeBob back) Take that pile of filth out with you.(Squidward holds up a trash bag)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob:(gasps) Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!<br />
<br />
Squidward: He means this filth, you loon.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" (laughs) "Nematodes are people too!" (laughs) Nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. (writes the word "good" after "smells") Good.(laughs) Hmm, what's this one? Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a (Dolphin chirp).<br />
<br />
Garbage Man: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, sometimes,but not recently.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Hi, garbage man. Hi, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Patrick, do you know what this word means?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red sweaty guy you work for?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: No, not that word,THAT word.<br />
<br />
Patrick: (Scratches neck) (Dolphin chirp). Uh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?<br />
<br />
Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it on anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Here, let me try.(coughs)(fancy tone) Hello, Patrick. Lovely (Dolphin chirp) day it is, isn't it?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Why yes it is, SpongeBob. This (Dolphin chirp) day is particularly (Dolphin chirp) lovely!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: How (Dolphin chirp) right you are, Patrick! (Dolphin chirp x3)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, me too! (both laugh)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: It tickles when I laugh!<br />
<br />
(SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab next day)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hello,customers, nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having!<br />
<br />
Fish: Did he just say?<br />
<br />
Pirate Fish: Aye, he did.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick, how the (Dolphin chirp) are you?<br />
<br />
Patrick: (walks into the Krusty Krab) Pretty (Dolphin chirp) good, SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (taps on the microphone) Attention, customers, today's special is a (Dolphin chirp) Krabby Patty served with in a greasy sauce and grilled to (Dolphin chirp ) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to (Dolphin chirp) the (Dolphin chirp) fries. It'll be our (Dolphin chirp) pleasure. Hi Squidward, how the (Dolphin chirp) are ya?<br />
<br />
Patrick: Nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having, isn't it Squidward?<br />
<br />
Tom: I don't understand. The guy's talented, but he doesn't have to work blue.<br />
<br />
Evelyn: Let's go somewhere more family oriented.<br />
(Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab with disappointing shouts, a fish says in the background: "I'm eating at the Chum Bucket!")<br />
(Sirens wail)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Ah!! The Krusty Krab! She's empty! All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all my money paying customers gone?<br />
<br />
Squidward: Apparently the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say?<br />
<br />
Squidward:(whispers. He's saying "bad word 11")<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Huh? <br />
<br />
Squidward:(whispers. same as last whisper.)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Gasp!!! SpongeBob and Friend!!!!! Front and center!I should make you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, it's fancy talk.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: You mean (Dolphin chirp)?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one. Now quit saying it! It's a bad word.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word?! (Tongue Play; Scraping Their Tongue with their hands)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes sirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.<br />
<br />
Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7?<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor! (laughs)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Wow, 13!<br />
<br />
Patrick: That's a lot of (Dolphin chirp) bad words!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: OK, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.<br />
<br />
(back at SpongeBob's house, playing [[Eels and Escalators]])<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Yea ,verily! Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, Boy, my favorite!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes! (rolls the dice)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta rent an eel.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Darn. (moves game piece to eel)<br />
<br />
Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice) Hooray! escalators! (Whoops) Up,up,up!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators! (rolls dice) Uh, eels again.<br />
<br />
Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice)Escalators! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Escalators, escalators, escalators!(throws dice) Eels?<br />
<br />
Patrick:(rolls dice)Es-skee-lators!! (moves to escalators) Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, (Shows an eel head saying "You Lose!") or if you get eels again, you lose!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (gets frustrated while rolling the dice) Escalators, escalators, escalators!!! (dice is thrown and lands on escalators) Ha! Escalators! (dice turns to eels)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Eels!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ah, (Dolphin chirp)!(closes mouth)<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh! you said number 11!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ah! It just slipped out, you know. You understand, right, Patrick! You gotta understand!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Don't worry,SpongeBob,I understand. Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (starts running to the Krusty Krab)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Please Pat, please don't tell!<br />
<br />
Patrick: But you said (Dolphin chirp)! <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Aha! Now I'm Gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Not if I tell first!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can run faster than you!(laughs)<br />
<br />
Patrick: (riding in an ice cream truck) See ya at the Krusty Krab! Ha, ha, ha! (The truck goes the wrong way)Oh no!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Ha! Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?!!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: (Fast) Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators,and Patrick was going up,up,up,and I rode the eel and then we ran and Patrick,he said some things!<br />
<br />
Mr.Krabs: What kind of things?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob:Well, he said.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Yes?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in A list of 13 words you said shouldn't be said.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Uh... right, uh, What was the part about the...? Who now?<br />
<br />
Patrick:(eats an ice cream): Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr.Krabs!! (Mr. Krabs sighs)<br />
<br />
(both babble on about the word, but Mr. Krabs grabs their lips)<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you boys to calmly tell me what you need to tell me,understand?<br />
<br />
Both: Mmm-hmm(Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips) HE SAID (Dolphin chirp)!!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: (GASP!) Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. (Carries them by their pants to the front) I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean,never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of youse wait right here. I'll be back.<br />
<br />
Patrick: What's going to happen to us?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: We'll probably get 40 lashes!<br />
<br />
Patrick: Oh, No! (Imagines himself with 40 eyelashes)<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no use for words like that.<br />
<br />
Patrick: I'm sorry too,SpongeBob.<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: From now on, we shall not let a foul word stain our lips! We will be good citizens,just like good ol' Mr.Krabs.<br />
<br />
Patrick:(shakes hands with SpongeBob)Agreed!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for poisoning the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to... (Trips on rock) Bottom. Ow, ooh! Ow! My (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!!!! Foot! What kind of.. (Dolphin chirp)!!!!! genius put a (Dolphin chirp) rock In A (Dolphin chirp) Path? Can't You See I've Got A (Horn Honks) Foot Here? Oh (Seal)! Side Of (Dolphin chirp) And A Heaping Helping Of (Foghorn) Da Bololo! Awww, (Seal) (Various Noises) it grabbin' (Horn)!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Patrick: 9?<br />
<br />
SpongeBob: 5,6,7... That's all 13, Patrick! (cut to SpongeBob with 13 fingers) We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: No, not me mommy! That would break her poor old heart!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob and Patrick: Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs!<br />
<br />
Ms. Krabs: Well, Hello There. (Mouth becomes an O)<br />
<br />
Spongebob:Mama Krabs, He said (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!!! then he said (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!! and (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dolphin chirp) And Then He Screamed At The top of his voice (Dolphin chirp)!! And He (Dolphin chirp) (Dolphin chirp) Ms. Krabs! He Didn't Care! Such A Stream Of (Dolphin chirp) (Dolphin chirp) with (Dolphin chirp) I have never heard in my days!<br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: Oh, dear! My poor old heart.<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? (takes a coin out of her pocket) You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!<br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! If you're gonna talk like sailors, you're gonna work like sailors!<br />
<br />
(the three are painting her house, Patrick is painting the sand)<br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: I guess you three scalawags have earned yourselves a glass of lemonade! (laughs, trips on a rock) Ow! my (AWOOGA)!!!!!!!! foot!<br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Mother!<br />
<br />
Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy.<br />
<br />
Old Man Jenkins: Howdy, Mrs. K!<br />
<br />
SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Mama Krabs: (laughing)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Squid%27s_Day_OffEpisode Transcript: Squid's Day Off2009-07-16T18:03:43Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Stellvertreter]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Your Shoe's Untied|Your Shoe's Untied]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Something Smells|Something Smells]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Squid's Day Off]]<br />
<br />
== Characters ==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
'''Narrator:''' Ah, beautiful springtime. A time for fun and frolic for most, but not for this poor slob.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Ohh... what a beautiful day. And here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol. (bell rings) No one ever comes in on Sunday. (bell rings again) Why can’t Mr. Krabs just let us go home? (bell rings again. Squidward gets angry. Scene cuts to SpongeBob ringing a bell set on the order window. Squidward runs up to SpongeBob) SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I was just testing it.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (leans through the order window getting in SpongeBob’s face) I will ring the bell when there is an order. But... (scene zooms out to show restaurant empty) ...there’s no customers!! There hasn’t been one all day, and there isn’t gonna be any! (picks up the cash register and slams it down making a bell noise)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' One Krabby Patty coming up!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No! (register drawer shoots open knocking Squidward out of the way. A bunch of coins fall onto the floor. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office where Mr. Krabs hears the money dropping)<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' That sounds like me money dropping. (he opens his office door to find Squid picking up the coins) What’s going on out here? My babies! (runs up to Squidward and shoves him away) Get away, you barbarian! What have you done? Nice, clean money...soiled! (scoops up the coins in his hands) I’ll take care of ya. Let papa clean ya up. Clear the way! (he runs into the kitchen and starts washing them off in the sink) No, no, no, don’t cry, little ones.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What’s wrong, Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs gets scared and throws the dimes in the air)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Me dime! (a dime rolls into the sink but does not go down the drain until Mr. Krabs gives a sigh of relief) Noo! (grabs the dime in the drain) I got it, boy! (tries to take his hand out) What the? It’s stuck! You gotta help me, SpongeBob!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You’ve gotta let go of the dime.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy. There’s got to be another way! Grab me captains quarters and heave! (SpongeBob pulls on Mr. Krabs from behind a couple times until Mr. Krabs gets thrown back without his arms) Me arms!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh no, not again. (Mr. Krabs hits the wall which makes the shelf slant and drop a pan, a glass, another pan, a mug, a chest, an anchor, a buoy, and a scuba suit on Mr. Krabs head. A giant bump rises up on Mr. Krabs head and then a dime falls on it causing Mr. Krabs to blacken out. Scene cuts to an ambulance outside the Krusty Krab and two paramedics carrying out Mr. Krabs on a stretcher)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait. Squidward, I’m putting you in charge of thing around here while I’m gone.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (smiles)You can count on me, sir! (a third paramedic carries out Mr. Krabs arms) Take care! Hurry back! Get well soon! You’re in our thoughts! (ambulance drives off) Takes more muscles to frown than to smile! (shuts the door) Okay, SpongeBob, let’s get down to business. My first official act as new manager is to give you a promotion. (SpongeBob’s pupils form into stars to stars)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (screams) Ahh, really?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You get to run the cash register.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' The cash register...wow! Squidward, who’s gonna work the grill?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You are! It’s part of the promotion I mentioned earlier. You’ll be wearing two hats now. You’re gonna take the orders, and then you’re gonna make them! (puts his hat next to SpongeBob’s hat)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' This is the best day of my life!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Me too.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Wait, if I’m running the register and the grill, what are you gonna do?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I’ve got some very important boss-like errands to run. See ya, later. (he runs off)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' What is it?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You forgot to teach me how to use...the cash register.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You push the button and put the money inside. Okay, you’re on your own. (walks off as SpongeBob is hugging on the cash register)<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: I can’t believe this is really happening. (sits on the cash register box) Today, I start living! (scene cuts to Squidward walking outside)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Well, Squidward, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. A beautiful day of relaxing and pampering with pay. Hmmm, I guess I do kinda feel bad about poor little SpongeBob, all by his lonesome...ohh, ohh, it’ll pass. He’s probably just standing at the register with that stupid grin on his face. (scene cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob in the Krusty Krab with dopey looks on their faces)<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hey, SpongeBob!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Hey, SpongeBob, could you give me change for a quarter?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No problem! (bangs on the register and gives Patrick a million dollars) Here ya go!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Thanks.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (gasps) I forgot to tell him how to make change! (he runs back to the restaurant, banging the doors open) Sponge... (sees only SpongeBob in the Krusty Krab) ... Bob. (checks the cash register to see if everything is still there. Gives a sigh of relief)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Squidward. All done with those errands?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No, I am not. I just remembered I needed change for this dollar.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want four quarters? (holds up four quarters) Or ten dimes? (shows ten dimes on his hand) Or twenty nickels? (shows ten nickels on each arm) Or one hundred pennies? (shows one-hundred pennies on his back) Or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels, and ten pennies? (shows the quarter on his nose, 3 dimes on his fingers, 7 nickels on his thumb, and ten pennies, in the shape of the cent symbol, on his foot) Or, if you give me a five dollar bill, your options are...<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Alright, goodbye. (walks off. Scene cuts to Squidward’s house where he comes out wearing sunglasses and has on sunscreen and carrying a lawn chair) This is great. My day off, no worries. Just relaxation. (sets his lawn chair down and puts sunscreen on himself) I’m the boss. I deserve this. Ah... Everything will be fine. There won’t be any customers today anyway. He’ll probably just stand there, bored. (imagines SpongeBob behind the counter just standing there) SpongeBob, bored.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Ehh, gettin’ kind of bored. (yawns and falls asleep. Krusty Krab catches on fire and Squidward tries to blow it out but its a thought bubble. Begins to run to the Krusty Krab but stops)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Oh, what am I doing? (he pulls out a watch) I am wasting valuable relaxing time here, that’s what I’m doing! I mean, really. What are the odds? SpongeBob setting the Krusty Krab on fire. (he walks back down the road. Then, a fire engine whizzes by. Squidward is startled and runs to the restaurant with a fire extinguisher. He sprays the galley with foam. As the foam subsides, Squidward, now with a foam beard, walks over to Sponge, who has a foam mustache) <br />
<br />
SpongeBob: May I help you, sir?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (wipes off his foamy beard) It’s me, you dunce!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, hi, Squidward! (mustache falls off) How are those errands going?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' What’s that supposed to mean? I’m very busy.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I’m sure you are.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I don’t like your tone.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (high-pitched voice) I’m sure you are. (normal voice again) How’s that?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Just do your jobs. (walks off)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye-aye, Mr. Tentacles! (puts the spatula in his forehead) Boy, no wonder Mr. Krabs put him in charge. (scene cuts to Squidward’s house)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Must...rel... (breaks the chair) ...ax! (pulls out a mirror) Look at yourself. You’re losing your bluish glow. Stop worrying so much! Now, repeat after me...you will not go back to the Krusty Krab. (his reflection turns into SpongeBob)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I will destroy the Krusty Krab. (Squidward screams and throws the mirror at the wall and runs to the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob!!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Have you finished...<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No! (walks out) That’s it. That’s it. No matter what sick fantasies run through my mind, I will not go back to that restaurant! (walks into his house then runs out towards the Krusty Krab)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs back to his house then back to the Krusty Krab) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs back to his house) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs to the Krusty Krab) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward keeps running back and forth while SpongeBob is repeating 'have you finished those errands?' Finally, Squidward enters the Krusty Krab and stops) Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No, I am not finished with those errands and I never will be! So quit checking up on me! (walks up to SpongeBob) I know what you’re up to. Forcing me to come back here every time you mess up!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' But I haven’t...<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Okay, maybe you haven’t messed up yet, but you will. You will. (walks backwards) And when you do, I’ll be there! I’ll be there! (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Gosh, Squidward sure is a hard worker. He makes me proud to wear these hats. (puts all sorts of door locks on his door so he can't get out)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' There! Now I’ll have to stay here and enjoy myself! I’m not even gonna think about you know who at the you know what doing I don’t care! (laughs) Just gonna relax... (turns on the water and puts on his bathing cap sits in his bathtub) Let Squid’s day off...begin. (Squidward hears SpongeBob laughing outside) What was that? (SpongeBob's laughing is heard again) It’s SpongeBob! He’s spying on me, to see if I’m really doing errands. But, but he left his post, and <br />
I’ve finally caught him messing up! (peeks out the window) A-ha! I caught you, Sponge... (notices that its only the wind blowing onto the coral) ... branch. (Squidward notices a SpongeBob look-alike behind his shower curtain) Heh, here’s that rubber duck Mr. Krabs wanted me to get. (reveals what’s behind the curtain) I’ve got you now! Wait’ll Mr. Krabs finds out you’re a... toilet. You’re losin’ it, Squidward, calm down. If I let this get to me again, I’ll just end up running down to the Krusty Krab, bursting through the front door, up to that yellow headache SpongeBob, and he’ll say... (SpongeBob appears next to Squidward in the bathtub)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Squidward. Are you finished with those errands yet? (goes under the water)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' A-ha! (goes under the water and appears as an actual octopus) I know you’re in here. (gasps) What? (SpongeBob is not in the drain. He winks) He’s heading back to the Krusty Krab! I’ll beat him there! (slams through the locked door with nothing on but his shower cap and bubbles foaming around his waist) I’ve got you now, SpongeBob!<br><br />
<br />
'''Citizen:''' (puts her hand over her son's eyes) Hey, put some clothes on!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (runs past Patrick's rock) The truth will be revealed!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' (stands up) Whoo-ho! Right on, Squidward! (scene cuts to hospital where the doctor and Mr. Krabs are walking out of it)<br><br />
<br />
'''Dr. Gill Gilliam:''' Okay, Mr. Krabs, get plenty of rest and if things don’t seem right, come back. (walks inside)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Thanks, doc. (Squidward runs past him)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You can’t beat me! Ha! (Mr. Krabs walks back into the hospital. Scene cuts to Squidward running into the Krusty Krab) A-ha! I caught you now. You didn’t think I knew you were a stick outside my window. Ha! Or the toilet in my bathroom. And then, you were in my bathtub! And I... And-and you... And I... And you... swam down the drain and beat me to the... Krusty... Krab.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Uhh, does that mean that you finished those errands?<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Yes, SpongeBob, I am finished with those errands. (hugs the register) I guess I want to take my place back at the cash register. I really do.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (takes off his pants and hands them to Squidward) Then you might wanna put these on. (Squidward looks down and notices a bunch of bubbles. They all pop so he puts SpongeBob's pants on) Hey, Squidward, you know what? Look! (walks back with a sign) We forgot to switch the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open’. It’s almost like we could’ve taken the whole day off! (He laughs. Squidward’s nose falls off and he deflates)<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Patty_HypeEpisode Transcript: Patty Hype2009-07-16T17:59:45Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| border="1"<br />
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"<br />
!Back Episode Transcript<br />
!Next Episode Transcript<br />
|-<br />
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Wormy|Wormy]]<br />
|[[Episode Transcript: Grandma's Kisses|Grandma's Kisses]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Patty Hype]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Patrick]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*[[Larry the Lobster]]<br />
*[[Fred]]<br />
*[[Tom]]<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
''(We see The Krusty Krab all dusty, old, and abandoned. All the animators appear that there has been a lack of customers for awhile. Squidward, in the ordering boat, blows dust off of him and the register. SpongeBob dusts off a cobweb on one of the tables, but a spider comes and makes another one. Once he dusts that one off, but and other one just comes and spins another web. Mr. Krabs is completely coated with dust, and sneezes it all off.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ugh... 36 days without a customer.<br><br />
<br />
''(A fish dying from hunger crawls into the Krusty Krab.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #1:''' So...hungry...<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Ah! Mr. Krabs, a customer!<br><br />
<br />
''(Krabs squeals in delight, revealing a spider web growing in his mouth. A spider crawls all over it.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #1:''' No food... 3 days... <br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hold on, me bucko! Food's on the way!<br><br />
<br />
''(He is about to call into the kitchen, but then has a second thought.)'' Uhh... You got money, right?<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #1:''' Yeah...<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! Bring this guy some grub before he keels over!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Here you go, sir.<br><br />
<br />
''(He presents Mr. Krabs with a Krabby Patty and soda on a platter)''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #1:''' Oh. Krabby Patties, huh?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Finest under the sea!<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #1:''' Yeah, yeah, sure. But where's the pizaz? I mean, look at this place. What's the theme here? Underwater? It's boring! ''(He turns and crawls away.)'' Food! Water! Atmosphere!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No one goes to a restaurant for atmosphere. They go for food!<br><br />
<br />
''(He looks out the door as two fish see each other on the street.)''<br />
<br />
'''Fred:''' Hey, Tom!<br><br />
<br />
'''Tom:''' Fred! Hey, you wanna eat at the Krusty Krab?<br><br />
<br />
'''Fred:''' Nah, I'm going to the Shell Shack. They've got a talking dog!<br><br />
<br />
'''Tom:''' Great! Say, what's a dog?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Gasps) Money walking! I need to think up a gimmick like that to bring customers back in here!<br><br />
<br />
''(SpongeBob peek through Mr. Krabs' eyestalks.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I have an idea!<br><br />
<br />
''(Mr. Krabs' eye stalks pull back together, chopping SpongeBob in half.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait! I've got an idea! ''(Cut to outside the Krusty Krab, where a marching band plays, and a crowd gathers around Mr. Krabs.)'' ...and so, be sure to buy plenty of Krabby Patties as I bury myself alive! ''(Everyone cheers and confetti shoots up from the ground as Mr. Krabs wields a shovel. He digs a hole, and then hops into it.)'' No free refills.<br><br />
<br />
''(Then, he pats the dirt in around him, leaving himself underground with no trace of him. A fish runs up to on top of where Krabs was buried.)<''br><br />
<br />
'''Fred:''' Hey, everybody! The talking dog at the Shell Shack is '''''SINGING!!!''''' C'mon!<br><br />
<br />
''(He motions for everyone to follow, and they do, leaving Mr. Krabs alone, under the ground. Cut to the inside of the Krusty Krab, where it has been cleaned out.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(Ignoring him.)'' What am I going to do? If I don't think of an idea, I'll go out of business!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(Still ignoring SpongeBob)'' Why can't someone give me an idea?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Great Neptune in Heaven, I need an idea!!!<br><br />
<br />
''(A divine light hits Krabs, and SpongeBob comes down, playing the harp and dressed like an angel.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (Singing) Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!<br><br />
<br />
''(Krabs grabs SpongeBob.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What in the name of money are you waiting for, boy? Tell me!<br><br />
<br />
SpongeBob: OK. Prepare yourself, Mr. Krabs. Don't bother sitting down, Mr. Krabs, because you'll just stand up when you see this! Tada!<br><br />
<br />
''(Shows Mr. Krabs a green Krabby Patty.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Great Barrier Reef! That patty's spoiled!<br><br />
<br />
''(He knocks it off of the plate and onto the ground, where he burns it with a flame thrower. Once the fire is gone, SpongeBob appears in a fire-retardant suit and laughs.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Relax, Mr. Krabs! It's not tainted meat, it's painted meat! ''(Fire once again overcomes him, and he emerges in regular clothing, with an artist's pallet in hand. On the palette, Krabby Patties lie in different colors.)'' Pretty Patties! Available in 6 designer colors.<br><br />
<br />
''(Mr. Krabs laughs, and SpongeBob looks broken-heartedly at his own creation.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, Mr. Squidward! Come see this!<br><br />
<br />
''(Squidward walks up.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don't that look appetizing?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Mmm, mmm!!! Good, sir!<br><br />
<br />
''(The two laugh.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait! Gimme an orange patty... With extra purple!<br />
<br />
''(Squidward laughs.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's next? Sequin milkshakes?<br><br />
<br />
''(Holds up a milkshake cup with sequins and encrusted into it.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Bow-tie French fries?<br><br />
<br />
''(He holds up a French fry with a bow-tie on. SpongeBob is now welling up with tears.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No...<br><br />
<br />
''(Squidward and Mr. Krabs dance mockingly.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Pretty Patties, Pretty Patties!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (Crying) Stop it! (''When they don't, SpongeBob becomes indignant.)'' I know this is a good idea. I'll... I'll... <br />
I'll open my own restaurant! ''(He runs out of the Krusty Krab.)'' You'll see!<br><br />
<br />
''(Squidward and Mr. Krabs look at each other. Then, they continue laughing. Cut to Conch Street, where SpongeBob passes <br />
his and Squidward's houses to get to Patrick's.)<''br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick, are you angry, too?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What's the matter?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' I can't see my forehead. What's your problem?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I have a good idea, an nobody else thinks so!<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Me, too. Inflatable pants! ''(He pulls a cord on his own Hawaiian shorts, causing them to inflate and lift into the air a few feet. Patrick is now upside-down.)'' What's your idea?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm gonna open a restaurant and sell Pretty Patties!<br />
<br />
''(Patrick's shorts explode, leaving him with only a little patch covering his front.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Forget my dumb idea, that's great!<br><br />
<br />
''(Cut to later, where SpongeBob has constructed a purple stand that says "Pretty Patties". Patrick is behind a second one <br />
to the left of SpongeBob that is brown and says "Pay Here".)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Are you ready for the big rush, Patrick? ''(Patrick pulls up his purple-and-green trunks and gives SpongeBob the thumbs-up.)'' Pretty soon those hungry customers will be lining up, because we are open! (''He puts up an "Open" sign. Cut to him at the stand.)'' I'm ready! (We see him as an adult with the same camera angling. He has glasses on, and brown hair.) I'm ready. (We see him as an old man with a long, grey beard. His pineapple wilts and dies.) I'm ready... (''We see his gravestone behind the stand, that says "R.I.P. I'M READY". There is a vacant spot where his pineapple previously was. SpongeBob wakes up at the stand and sees that that was a dream.)'' Patrick, how long have we been standing here?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Uhh... ''(He looks at the sloppily-drawn crayon marks on his wrist made to look like a watch.)'' I need to draw a new battery for this thing.<br><br />
<br />
''(He scribbles on his wrist with a blue crayon.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What if Mr. Krabs was right? What if my idea is dumb?<br><br />
<br />
''(He cries.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm scared.<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Then I'm going in for you!<br><br />
<br />
''(He climbs into SpongeBob's head through one of his pores. Then, SpongeBob blows up like a puffer fish.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Sorry. Stupid inflatable pants!<br><br />
<br />
''(He flies out of SpongeBob.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Did you find anything?<br><br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Huh?<br><br />
<br />
''(A fish walks up to the stand.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #2:''' Hey, do you guys sell food here?<br><br />
<br />
''(He is creeped out as SpongeBob and Patrick giggle.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes, sir! We sell Pretty Patties!<br><br />
<br />
''(He holds out a green Pretty Patty.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #2:''' That thing's green! ''(He starts laughing hysterically.)'' Green!<br><br />
<br />
''(He laughs more. Patrick joins in, but doesn't laugh hard at all. SpongeBob cries.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs was right! What am I going to do with all these?<br><br />
<br />
''(He holds out the palette of Pretty Patties)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #2:''' ''(Stops laughing)'' Hey, is that one purple? Purple is my favorite color! ''(He tries it.)'' Hey! This ain't half bad! Hey, world! "Pretty Patties" is the best idea ever!<br><br />
<br />
''(Cut to Mr. Krabs in his office, eating popcorn and watching a movie, crying. A spider dangling from its web cries as well.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Soap Actress:''' (On TV) Oh, Rick, how could you? Together we were one!<br><br />
<br />
'''Soap Actor:''' (On TV) That was before. But now, I'm splitting us up.<br><br />
<br />
''(Onscreen, we see an amoebae split into two amoebae. All of a sudden, it turns to a Bikini Bottom News emergency broadcast. The Realistic Fish Head news reporter talks at a desk. Behind him is a backdrop, and a bamboo screen showing a crowd of Bikini Bottom citizens cheering.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Realistic Fish Head:''' We interrupt this program to bring you a special news announcement! This wild crowd behind me is screaming for Bikini Bottom's latest culinary sensation. Let's take a listen.<br><br />
<br />
'''Crowd:''' (Chanting) Pretty Patties! Pretty Patties!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pretty Patties?<br><br />
<br />
''(The spider comes up and steals Krabs' popcorn.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Realistic Fish Head:''' It's easy to see Pretty Patties are popular, but what is it about them that drives Bikini Bottom feeders wild?<br><br />
<br />
''(We see 3 women fish on screen, who hold out their purses to compare with the Pretty Patties.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #3, 4 & 5:''' They match our purses!<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #6:''' ''(With Scottish accent, kilt, and bagpipe.)'' They remind me of home.<br><br />
<br />
''(He holds up a plaid Pretty Patty, and Larry the Lobster runs up.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Larry:''' Pretty Patties rule!<br><br />
<br />
''(He flexes his muscles.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Realistic Fish Head:''' Mr. SquarePants, how do you explain all this success?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I don't know.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' How can you make money with such a stupid idea?<br />
<br />
'''Realistic Fish Head:''' And how can you '''''not''''' make money with such a brilliant idea?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' At first we didn't know what to do with all the money. We tried burying it...<br><br />
<br />
''(Mr. Krab's eyestalks inflate.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' ...shredding it...<br><br />
<br />
''(Krabs' eyestalks blow up even more.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' ...and burning it!<br><br />
<br />
''(Mr. Krabs eyestalks burst and fly around like a balloon with a hole in it.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' But in the end, we decided just to give it all away.<br><br />
<br />
''(We see Patrick at this stand that now has a bamboo "$" and says "FREE MONEY". He hands a filled paper sack to a man.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Patrick:''' Come again, sir!<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #7:''' I'm getting back in line!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I don't believe it!<br><br />
<br />
''(He runs out of the office and across the dining area.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I've got to see this for me self!<br><br />
<br />
''(He runs out the door and into a fish.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #8:''' Hey! Watch it, buddy. I don't care how much you want your Pretty Patty. You're gonna have to wait in line like the rest of us.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I've never had a line.<br><br />
<br />
''(At SpongeBob's stand, the "Now Serving" sign flips to 46,853.)''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Who's #46,853?<br><br />
<br />
''(There is an excited roar from the crowd. Mr. Krabs makes his way to the front of the line.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I never had 46,853 customers.<br><br />
<br />
(SpongeBob hands a patty to an anchovy.)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Here you are, sir. Stay pretty. ''(He laughs.)'' All right. Mr. Krabs is that you? Isn't this great, Mr. Krabs? The Pretty Patties are a big hit!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' They sure are, boy. You're doing pretty well for yourself. I guess you've completely forgotten the Krusty Krab.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' No, sir, I haven't. Sometimes I really miss the old days back at the Krusty Krab.<br><br />
<br />
''(Mr. Krabs gets an idea.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I bet you miss Squidward... and the grill. And the crow's nest.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Yeah! But do you know what I miss the most, Mr. Krabs? It's that tiny little squeaking sound you get when you rub two pickles together. You know what I mean, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh... Yes. Yes, I do, lad. Well, the Krusty Krab's only a short walk away. Why don't you head on down. For old time's sake.<br><br />
<br />
''(He takes SpongeBob by the hand and starts to walk away, but SpongeBob's arm expands and he just stays in the same place.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, I can't leave, Mr. Krabs! What about the stand?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don't worry, lad. I'll watch the stand for ye. ''(SpongeBob retracts his arm.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You will?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No! I've got a better idea! I'll take this old roadside stand off your hands. For keeps. An in exchange, I'll give you the Krusty Krab. With Squidward, the grill, and all those squeaky pickles!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' ''(In a trance)'' What did you say, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Here's the key to the Krusty Krab. She's yours now.<br><br />
<br />
''(He hands him a key, composed of two golden "K"'s and a ring.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you. What should I do now, Mr. Krabs?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Run to her, boy. She's waiting for ya.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't feel my legs, Mr. Krabs.<br><br />
<br />
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, boy! I'll fix it! Get this to the Krusty Krab on the double! Good luck, lad!<br><br />
<br />
''(He tosses SpongeBob to the crowd, who holds him above their hands and passes him down. While crowd-surfing, SpongeBob's surroundings turn into a pink sky with clouds.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Dreams do come true!<br><br />
<br />
''(The crowd throws him on the ground in front of the Krusty Krab, where he floats up and kisses the building. We see him cheer in the dining area, kiss the floor, throw buns up into the air in the kitchen, laugh over the phone in Mr. Krabs' office, and stand at the ordering boat, the whole Krusty Krab cleaned and refreshed. Cut back to the Pretty Patties stand, where Mr. Krabs holds up a patty.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ladies and gentlemen! "Pretty Patties" is now under new management! Who's next? <br><br />
<br />
''(He waves a patty in the air. We see a sea-level shot of the Bikini Atoll Island. It turns from night to dawn. Cut to Mr. Krabs at the stand beside SpongeBob's house. The "Free Money" stand has been disassembled.) <br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm ready! I'm ready! For me money. ''(A crowd gathers around him.)'' Welcome to Pretty Patties! May I take your money?<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #9:''' We want a refund, Krabs!<br><br />
<br />
''(Everyone chatters in agreement.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wha-!?! Who? What?<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #10:''' Your dumb Pretty Patties turned my face purple!<br><br />
<br />
'''Fish #6:''' Look what I got under me kilt!<br><br />
<br />
''(He raises his kilt to reveal a plaid body, and white underwear.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #11, 12 &13:''' And look at our tongues!<br><br />
<br />
''(We see a yellow tongue, a speckled tongue, and a pink tongue. Krabs refers to the pink-tongued man.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's wrong with you?<br><br />
<br />
''(Fish #13 turns off a light to reveal his tongue is glow-in-the-dark, and is pulsing green.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #13:''' We want out money back. All 46,853 of us.<br><br />
<br />
''(He turns the light back on, but Krabs is nowhere to be seen.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Fish #14:''' Hey, where'd he go?<br><br />
<br />
''(Cut to Krabs running away, and the crowd chasing them, a stinky rainbow from ''Jonah: A SpongeBob Movie'' trailing behind them. Mr. Krabs slams into the Krusty Krab door, but it is locked, so he searches for his key.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' My key! Where's my key?<br><br />
<br />
''(Recalls he gave it to SpongeBob, and presses himself against the door to get SpongeBob's attention.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! Let me in! SpongeBob! Let me in! SpongeBob!<br><br />
<br />
''(SpongeBob is in the dining area, and cannot hear due to his pickle-squeaking. Krabs is chased left and right by the mob, still yelling.)<br>''<br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahhh!!! SpongeBob let me in! SpongeBob!!!!!!<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
<br />
{{Slogan}}</div>Alchemist01http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Episode_Transcript:_Dying_For_PieEpisode Transcript: Dying For Pie2009-07-16T17:57:04Z<p>Alchemist01: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Kuchen-Bombe]]<br />
{| border="1"<br />
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!Back Episode Transcript<br />
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|}<br />
<br />
Episode Article: [[Dying For Pie (Episode)]]<br />
<br />
==Characters==<br />
*[[SpongeBob]]<br />
*[[Squidward]]<br />
*[[Mr. Krabs]]<br />
*Pirates<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
<br />
(Squidward is dressed in island clothes and playing the piano. He hits one of the notes but realizes it's messed up so he keeps hitting it. The sound is coming form SpongeBob hitting a bell)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Order up, Squidward. (Squidward wakes up from his dream. Cut to Squidward driving to work. Zoom in on one of his bumper stickers that reads "Don’t Ask Me About My Day." Squidward walks up to the front doors and SpongeBob follows him from inside, smiling. Squidward walks inside) Hey, hey Squidward, did you see me? (Squidward keeps walking) Okay, see you later, Squidnator.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good morning, Mr. Squidward. (Squidward sticks his out his tongue) So, are you ready?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' To go home?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register and take orders and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards (points at SpongeBob) ...that guy. (SpongeBob is washing a table with a scrubber. He scrubs his face and gets it mixed around. He laughs)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' That attitude of yours is precisely why we’re having this little shenanigan. Now pay attention, the lad’s got a surprise for you.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood, I present to you a gift. (holds up a sweater) Ta-da! (zoom in to show it's a picture of Squidward's head as the heart)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' "I heart you..."<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Try it on, Mr. Squidward! It’s got you written all over it. (laughs. Squidward has a hard time putting the sweater over his head)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I wasn’t sure how big to make the hole for the head, so I used a watermelon for size. (Squidward gets the sweater over his head) Do you love it?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (starts scratching the sweater) It’s a little itchy. What’s this thing made of? (cut to SpongeBob with no eyelashes or eyebrows)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Eyelashes! (Squidward throws the sweater at SpongeBob, causing him to whimper)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Now may I resume to my minimum-wage duties?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' After you present your brotherhood gift.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I’ll buy the little twerp a gumball.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh no, no, no, no, lad; you know the rules-- you have to make the gift.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (walks to the doors) The only thing I’m making is for the exit. (opens up the door to see SpongeBob with a new sweater from his tears)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Is this any better, Squidward? I made this one with my tears. (Squidward sighs and walks towards the kitchen)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I knew you’d come around, boy. Make something nice.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Why can’t I just buy something for the little weirdo?<br><br />
<br />
'''Captain:''' Heave-ho! (Squidward looks and sees some pirates outside carrying some pies onto the ship) If you drop one slice of me booty, I’ll have... your booty!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Hi, there. Those homemade pies sure look good.<br><br />
<br />
'''Pirate:''' Oh, these aren’t homemade. They’re from a factory... a bomb factory. They’re bombs.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Oh, well, that’s too bad. I thought they were pies and I wanted to buy one. (holds up money)<br><br />
<br />
'''Captain:''' Wait! (jumps down off the ship) We were just kidding about all that bomb stuff. That’ll be 25 bucks, please.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' So, what flavor is it?<br><br />
<br />
'''Pirates:''' Cherry. Apple. Raspberry.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Well, if it’ll get old man Mr. Krabs off my back. (Squidward gives the pirate the money. Cut to Squidward placing the pie on Mr. Krabs' desk) Okay, here it is, Mr. Krabs, fresh from the oven. I’ll be returning to my life now.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Not yet. I got to make sure you did it right. (about to put a piece in his mouth) Wait a second... this would go great with some milk! (while walking to the milk, he trips over a book and the piece of pie flies into the milk, causing an explosion) So, you tried to kill me over a little new aged management, eh?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' But Mr. Krabs, I had no idea. I can explain! (cut to inside Mr. Krabs' office)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, are you okay? I heard a... wow! A pie! (looks at the card attached to it) It’s from Squidward. (reads it) "To SpongeBob... Well, here you go."<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' And that’s what happened.<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' 25 dollars? A bomb?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward & Mr. Krabs:''' In the Krusty Krab? (both run back into the office but the pie is not there)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' That’s where you left it.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' It’s not there.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, guys. (licks his fingers then rubs his belly) Thanks for the pie, Squidward. (skips out)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears... and you kill him. How are you gonna live with yourself?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Kill him? (Squidward imagines SpongeBob taking a tray to a customer)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Here’s your order, sir.<br><br />
<br />
'''Customer:''' Thanks. (SpongeBob explodes and pieces of SpongeBob are everywhere)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No, no! What we got... we got to call the hospital!<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Won’t do any good, I’ve seen this before. When that pie goes up to bat, I mean, hits his lower intestine... boom!<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You’ve seen this before?<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Eleven times as a matter of fact. (Squidward runs over to a phone and dials the hospital)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Yes, hello, doctor? Hospital? It won’t do any good? Eleven times? (hangs up) Oh, he’s a goner. How do we tell him? (both look out the window and see SpongeBob wiping off a table)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don’t tell him. That’ll only make him feel worse. By the way I see it, he’s only got till sunset. Why ruin his last day on earth? The lad deserves to enjoy his final hours. (walks away)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (tears up) You’re right, Mr. Krabs! (sobs) I’m gonna make SpongeBob’s final hours the best he’s ever had. And this time, there’s gonna be love -- so much, that he’s gonna drown in it. (opens the door then turns around) Drown in it! (walks out)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (writes on a notepad) Note to self: watch out for Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Uh, SpongeBob?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I forgot to tell you, there’s a part two to your gift.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Part two? (bounces up and down) Part two, part two, part two, part two... (Squidward grabs him)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Please, don’t do that.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What’s part two?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Well, what’s the most fun thing you can think of? (SpongeBob takes out a list)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, I keep a list of the fun things I like to do. I call it my friendship list.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Great. Uh, let me see it. (looks at the list)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' The things that are extra fun, I’ve written in red.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Everything’s in red.<br><br />
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'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I know.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' We’d better start now if we want to get through this list before you die... of anticipation.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Then let’s roll! (both walk out) Bye, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs cries and puts a "Help Wanted" sign in the window) Heads up, Squidward-- looks like they’re gonna replace you.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Uh, yeah. Let’s take a look at that list.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, the first thing I want to do is show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town. (cut to SpongeBob and Squidward talking to a businessman) Hi there, this is my best friend, Squidward. (cut to SpongeBob and Squidward talking to some kids) Hey kids, check it out! This is my best friend, Squidward. (one of the kids throws a rock at Squidward's head. Cut to SpongeBob and Squidward walking up to a fish sitting on a bench) Hi, I want to show you my best friend, Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Hey, Frank. Glad that’s over.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Good, 'cause we’re onto our next activity.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Which is...?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I’m going to show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town wearing a salmon suit.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' You’re going to be wearing a salmon suit?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) That’s a good one Squidward. (cut to Squidward in a salmon suit in front of some kids. All the kids throw rocks at Squidward. Cut to SpongeBob checking off the item on his list) Next. (SpongeBob and Squidward sit by a rock) Knock-knock jokes! Hey Squid, knock-knock.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Who’s there?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I am! (laughs)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (weakly laughs) Oh, yeah... (SpongeBob checks the knock-knock jokes off his list. Cut to SpongeBob and Squidward walking backward)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' (beeping) Look out everyone, friends in reverse! (beeping. Checks off this item off the list. Cut to SpongeBob and Squidward making noises with their tongues out of their mouths while moving their hands back and forth in front of their face. SpongeBob checks the item off his list. Cut to Squidward walking with SpongeBob as his face) Turn left, and... stop. See, that’s what it would be like if you had me for a face.<br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' I can’t breathe. (SpongeBob checks that off his list. Cut to SpongeBob performing open-heart surgery on Squidward) Are you sure you should be poking it like that?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Who’s the doctor here? (heart squirts blood. SpongeBob checks his operation off the list as well as some other items while he laughs) The last thing on the list is...<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Does it involve more dismemberment? (Mentioning the Open-Heart Surgery)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Watch the sunset with Squidward.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Sunset? (thinks about what Mr. Krabs said earlier in a though balloon)<br><br />
<br />
'''Mr. Krabs:''' The way I see it, the lad’s got until sunset until that bomb reaches his lower intestine.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, it’s Mr. Krabs! Hi, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs cries and runs off) Okay, see you later.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' C’mon buddy, you want a sunset, than you’ll get a sunset.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Ah, underwater sunsets sure are beautiful eh, Squidward?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Yeah.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, this is great, just the three of us. You, me, (shown a brick wall between the two) ...and this brick wall that you built between us.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Yeah. (laughs nervously)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit. What do they make you think of, Squidward? (Squidward imagines SpongeBob exploding)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Explosions. I mean, erosions.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay. (Squidward tears up. SpongeBob burps) Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine. (smells the aroma) Hey, smells like cherry. Or maybe grape. Blueberry? (the sun starts to go down) Here it is, the sunset! I always love to count it down. Five... You do the rest, buddy.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Four... three... two... one... (nothing happens)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' I guess we started too early. Let’s start again.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Five... four... three.... (an explosion is seen from behind the wall) two... (cries) o-o-o-one...Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful. I am such a good person. (another explosion is seen behind the wall but it knocks it down on top of Squidward this time. SpongeBob is blowing some bomb-shaped bubbles)<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Squidward, check this out! (Squidward gets up and mutters) Squidward, we already played 'babble like an idiot'.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Why are you still here?<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, since we finished everything the list, I thought I’d make up a new one. (holds up a book that says "Friend 4 Ever") I already filled up this book of ideas. We should be able to finish by January.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (slaps book away) Forget the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were supposed to explode!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' You want me to explode?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Yes! That’s what I’ve been waiting for.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, okay, I’ll try. (yells) GARY! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT! (laughs) Now it’s your turn.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' (yells) THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLEHEAD!<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, good one.<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' No! I mean you were supposed to explode into a million pieces.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Why would I do that?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Because the pie you ate was a bomb.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' What pie?<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for twenty-five dollars and I didn’t know it was a bomb and you ate it... that pie.<br><br />
<br />
'''SpongeBob:''' Pie... pie... (takes out a pie) Oh, you mean this pie. I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let’s eat. (walks forward and trips on a rock) Whoops. (pie flies into Squidward's face causing an explosion the size of an atomic bomb)<br><br />
<br />
'''Squidward:''' Ouch.<br />
<br />
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}<br />
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[[Category:Transcript]]<br />
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]<br />
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