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Episode Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One

2010-11-05T19:10:27Z

98.27.46.255: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One (Episode)]]

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is sweating)

Squidward: (sweating) If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.

SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. (The fan stops)

Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...

Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.

SpongeBob: The fan... it...

Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?

SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot they melted off.

Mr. Krabs: Melted off?

Squidward: The fan stopped working.

Mr. Krabs: Huh?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?

Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. (gives SpongeBob the "junk mail", which says: Power Bill Final Notice)

SpongeBob: (fans himself)

Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?

Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.

Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?

Squidward: They're at the beach.

Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!

(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!

Nat: Whoa!

Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...

SpongeBob: (picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula)

Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!

Frank (cameo character): Are they free?

Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.

Frank (cameo character): Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the sand.

Squidward: I told you!

Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

SpongeBob: What?

Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Frank (cameo character): (shrugs)

Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!

SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.

Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!

Squidward: Who are you?

Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a Patty, or get off me wave!

Sandy: Cowabunga!

Squidward: What next?

Patrick: (pops up from underwater)

SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!

Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?

Patrick: I'd love to!

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.

Squidward: (holds up the menu)

Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.

SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha!! That's a good one Patrick: "on-board!" Whoa!

(Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard)

Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!

Patrick: Almost up! (shaking the board all over the place)

Squidward: You idiot!

Patrick: (waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!

SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!

Sandy: (riding a wave) Locals only!

Patrick: What'd she say?

(all crash)

Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! (hugs his cash register) Aaaaahhhhhh!

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob and Patrick: (hug Squidward) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sandy: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (lands on an island)

Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands in the middle of the ocean) Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. (Dark clouds fill the sky) Dark sky. (Blood shoots out of the water) Water spouts.... of blood. (Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one) Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. (another donut falls from the sky)

(The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island.)

Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!

SpongeBob: (uses seaweed to draw in the sand)

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?

SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.

Twitch: Hey there, home-dads.

SpongeBob: Huh?

Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.

SpongeBob: Island?

Squidward: Island?

(Patrick is snoring)

Twitch: That's right, kemosabay. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.

SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?

Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.

Awesome Eddie: And waves.

Twitch: Mysterious waves.

Island wanderers: (fold hands) Om. (except for Silent Stan but does put his hands together.)

Patrick: (folds hands) Om.

SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?

Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G...

Chip: Hi.

Twitch: Chip, and Silent Stan.

(Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk)

Twitch: And I'm Twitch.

SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?

Twitch: (twitches) What?

SpongeBob: Never mind.

(The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later.)

SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?

Twitch: Guano.

Squidward: Great.

SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.

Twitch: Yo, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.

Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.

SpongeBob: (scared): O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (starts running in circles around the fire) I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURF!!! (starts crying)

Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.

SpongeBob: (stops running and crying) Cool!

(The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks.)

Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.

(Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard)

Narrator: Others...

(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards)

Narrator: ... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.

SpongeBob and Patrick: (throw their boards into the water)

Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.

SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards: (git hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore)

(everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.)

(SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards.)

Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...

Twitch: Go!

Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?

Patrick: You bet!

SpongeBob: Down here! (goes underwater with Patrick) See? It's a picture of Squidward!

Patrick: Wow.

Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.

SpongeBob and Patrick: (running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.)

(The scene cuts back to the house made of guano)

Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.

Awesome Eddie: What?

Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. (twitches) Especially the one on the end over there. (points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it)

(Big G coughs)

Awesome Eddie: What's that?

(Big G coughs again)

Awesome Eddie: Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.

(Big G coughs again)

SpongeBob: What's he saying?

Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.

SpongeBob: Who?

Twitch: His name (twitches) is Jack Kahuna Laguna. Or JKL, for short.

Awesome Eddie and Chip: Amen. (Big G coughs)

Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.

Patrick: Will there be nachos there? (Squidward looks angrily at him)

(The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into.)

SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.

Twitch: (twitches) No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.

SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?

Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.

Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.

Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.

(On the TV version, the commercials are shown here. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach.)

Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!!

(As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored.)

SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.

Squidward: Again?!

SpongeBob: (walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO) Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys!! I found the Cove!! (giggles)

Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.

*SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.

*Squidward: You've never even seen him!

SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. (close-up on his face. He is very ugly)

Squidward: (grossed out) You're right.

Patrick: (pointing to a hut) Look!

(a surfboard begins to emerge from the hut)

SpongeBob: It's him!

Squidward: (sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge) Oh, my j- (faints. A man emerges from the hut)

SpongeBob: It's JKL! Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.

Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.

SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? (JKL says nothing)

Patrick: Uh...

Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?

Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.

(Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard)

(SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up)

SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?

Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.

JKL: That... was your first lesson. (returns to his hut)

Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!

(JKL magically has returned to the water. Now he is playing his drums) Just keep breathing.

(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard.)

Mr. Krabs: Locust. Culinary! Oh. (pulls a shell out of the water) Look, Cashy! (breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed) Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? (Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head)

Flying Dutchman: Ow!

Mr. Krabs: Yah! It's the Flying Dutchman!

Dutchman: (drops his groceries) Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the communion store? You even spilled me milk!

Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. (Lightning bolts shoot everywhere) Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!

(The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire.)

SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?

Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...

(JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums)

Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, wonderful.

SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.

JKL: (plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again) Just... keep breathing. (returns to his hut)

Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! (buries his head in his lap)

SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?

Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob. (SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns)
Well, did you talk to him?

SpongeBob: Yup.

Squidward: And?

SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.

Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!!

(The scene cuts to Sandy's island)

Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. (climbs into and activates her helicopter) Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.

Dennis (cameo character): Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.

(Sandy flies away)

(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy.)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!

Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, so I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.

Mr. Krabs: No, I... (Dutchman grabs Cashy) Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!

(The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on on Squidward.)

Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.

SpongeBob and Patrick: (tired from staring all night) Okay...

Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...

JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.

(SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out)

JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers. (A storm of lightning only starts. JKL runs away.)

SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! (chases after JKL)

(Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff.)

SpongeBob: (gets shocked by lightning) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!

(Squidward climbs the cliff)

SpongeBob and Patrick: (climb the "drinking fountain" that is really a pyramid. Squidward follows)

SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?

JKL: (hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice) Uh...

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (screaming in some way)

JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.

Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? (it starts raining)

JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.

SpongeBob: A perfect wave?

JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.

Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!

JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. And you'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. (Huge lightning bolts flash) The Big One is almost upon us.

(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy.)

Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!

Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.

Flying Dutchman: (angry) Liar!!! (Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water)

Mr. Krabs: What?

Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!

Mr. Krabs: How do you know?

Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!

Mr. Krabs: (Gasp!) No!! (Dutchman takes Cashy)

Flying Dutchman: Whoops! (accidentally throws Cashy)

Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! (Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield) May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down!! Repeat: Down!!!

Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- (Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head) -Ooh ow, ooh ow! Ooh! Ooh!

Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? (Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater)

Sandy: (spinning out of control) May Day!

Mr. Krabs: (pops up from underwater) Oh, all alone again. (Cashy pops up from the water) Cashy!

Flying Dutchman: (lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face) Oh, what the... a gym sock? But that means...

Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! (singing) For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen! (throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman)

(The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove)

JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.

SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.

JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.

Squidward: Here it comes!!

SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.

JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you... will not return.

Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: (surf toward the Big One)

SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick!

Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!

SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!!!!

Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! (grabs Patrick's surfboard)

Patrick: No!!

Big One: (puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!

Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that!

SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!

Big One: (stares at Squidward)

Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard)

SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!

Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!

Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!

Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!

Mr. Krabs: Who said that? (gets buried by the Big One)

SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...

JKL: (on his huge surfboard) Looking for this?

SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! (jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy) CASHY!!

(JKL dives off his surfboard)

SpongeBob: JKL!

(Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows.)

SpongeBob: No!!!!

JKL: Little dude,... I was born to do this. (winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed)

Big One: (burps)

Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.

Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?

SpongeBob: (plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveal a picture of JKL's face)

(The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and Shubie are lying on beach towels.)

Nat: You hear a noise?

(Sandy crashes down in her helicopter)

Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!

Fish: A spaceman!

Harold\Bill: (holding a pitchfork) Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!

Sandy: (slaps the pitchfork) I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.

Beach goers: (act bored)

Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.

Fish: Who?

Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.

Fish: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?

Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?

Fish: No. (points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs)

People: Welcome home!!! (cheering)

SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!!

Twitch: (twitches) Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!

Big G: (coughs. Then, music starts)

Patrick: I love this song!

Squidward: Look!

(JKL surfs in on a giant wave)

SpongeBob: JKL!!

JKL: Just keep breathing. (holds up Cashy)

Mr. Krabs: Cashy!

SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip!

(Chip plays his saxophone harder)

(Everyone is dancing)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Welle zurück]]

Episode Transcript: The Slumber Party

2010-11-05T18:54:36Z

98.27.46.255: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[The Slumber Party (Episode)|The Slumber Party]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*Pearl's friends
*[[Girly TeenGirl]]
*[[Gary]]
*People at beach party

==Dialogue==
(The episode starts with Mr. Krabs sleeping at his house with chips on his stomach, in a white shirt and underwear, Pearl gets mad) 

Pearl: Unacceptable! 

Mr. Krabs: Pearl! 

[[Pearl Krabs]]: My friends will be here in 20 minutes for my slumber party and you're laying around in your tighty-no-longer-whities. 

Mr. Krabs: A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend. 

Pearl: If you trusted me you would leave for the night. Dad! 

Mr. Krabs: Look, I'll stay upstairs in me room and not interrupt. 

Pearl: You promise? 

Mr. Krabs: I promise. 

Pearl: Good night, daddy. (giggles) 

Mr. Krabs: Good night, sweetie. (He goes upstairs. Pearl walks to the refrigerator, and finds that another Mr. Krabs is there, chaining it up) 

Pearl: Dad! 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, hi, pumpkin. I was just setting out refreshments for your friends. (He hands a tray with crackers on a plate and tap water in a cup) 

Pearl: Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive. 

Mr. Krabs: Don't say that. Here, would your friends want some pizza? 

Pearl: Well, yeah. Yeah, we would. 

Mr. Krabs: OK, you could have your allowance early. (He takes out his wallet and pulls out some packs of ketchup) 

Pearl: Ketchup? 

Mr. Krabs: See, you put it on the crackers (does so) and a mamma mia you got-a one-a spicy pizza pie-a. (He eats it) Yum.(Pearl grabs Mr. Krabs, about to send him to his room)
Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay, I'm going. (Pearl flings him into his room. Suddenly, she hears knocking on the door outside) 

Pearl: They're here! (She rushes outside, only to find a third Mr. Krabs putting a board on the house, listing all of the rules) Hi, Dad. (She notices Mr. Krabs building rules) 

Mr. Krabs: Just putting up the house rules. 

Pearl: No dancing, no loud music after 7:30, no touching the root beer cellar? 

Mr. Krabs: And the most important one in all, no boys allowed! (Pulls a switch that puts up glowing, neon words on the roof of the house: NO BOYS ALLOWED) Isn't it glorious? (Pearl leaves and locks the door on him) Sweetie, you accidentally locked the door! 

Pearl: You're not coming back in this house until after my slumber party is over! 

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) This is mutiny! 

Pearl: What are you gonna do about it? Take away my allowance? (Throws the crackers with ketchup on them) Here you go! 

Mr. Krabs: Open this door or I'll...I don't know.

(The neon sign shorts out and so does Bikini Bottom, we could hear angry conversations of the people in Bikini Bottom)

(At SpongeBob's house, Mr. Krabs has just finished telling him that he wants to stay at his house) 

SpongeBob: You wanna stay here? At my house? With me? 

Mr. Krabs: Whaddya say, boy? 

(SpongeBob rockets up in excitement) 

SpongeBob: Yee-hee! Slumber party! 

Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway. 

(Afterwards, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs get into some sleeping bags and lie down near the TV) 

SpongeBob: We can stay up really, really late! And tell ghost stories! And trade socks! (He shows Mr. Krabs his socks) 

Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties? 

SpongeBob: No. They invite boys over and destroy the house! 

Mr. Krabs: They what?! 

SpongeBob: You know how girls are. 

Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls? 

SpongeBob: (laughs) Do I know any... no. But Gary does!

(We see Gary reading a magazine, also holding the remote) 

Gary: Meow. (flicks on TV) 

TV Announcer: We now return to tonight's scariest movie: Slumber Party Zombie Attack! 

(In the movie, some girls are having a slumber party)

Girl Fish: Pillow fight! (Girls fight and giggle) 

(A pillow is thrown into a vase and picture frame) 

Girl Fish: Missed me! 

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Look what they're doing to that man's house! 

SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, it's only a movie so- 

Mr. Krabs: Quiet, [[SpongeBob|boy]]! 

(Back in the movie, the girls are continuing their slumber party) 

Girl Fish: Boys are here! (Some boys arrive) 

Boy Fish 1: Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends. 

Boy Fish 2: Nice to (Breaks a model boat) meet you! 

Boy Fish 1: Ha! Destroying other people’s possessions is fun! 

(The boys cause havoc at the slumber party. They even burn some money, which frightens Mr. Krabs) 

Mr. Krabs: (screaming) AAAAHH! Turn it off! Turn it off, I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: I don't think this is actually the scary part yet. 

Mr. Krabs: I…said…turn it off! (He destroys the TV with a bat) 

SpongeBob: Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies. 

Mr. Krabs: Not zombies, you [[Sandy|Barnacle Brain]]! (whispers) Teenagers. 

SpongeBob: Zombie teenagers? 

Mr. Krabs: No! Pearl and her no-good friends! They're probably destroying me house right now! Like this! (He knocks over a plant and mocks a teenager) Oops! I don't care! It's not mine! (Finds SpongeBob's family portrait) Oh, look! One of the home owner's most prized possessions! (He throws it over shoulder) La-dee-da! 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs... 

Mr. Krabs: (Goes over to bookshelf) Ooh, this'll be fun to destroy! (He knocks down the shelf on SpongeBob) Whee! (normal voice) Now do you get it, boy? 

SpongeBob: Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs. It must be horrible to invite people into your home and have them treat your property with so little respect! (We see SpongeBob's house now. It is destroyed) 

Mr. Krabs: That’s what teenagers do! Do you want this to happen to my house? 

SpongeBob: Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Then get into Pearl's party and find out what they're doing! 

SpongeBob: Leave it to me, Mr. K. I've got the perfect disguise. 

(At Mr. Krabs's house, Pearl and her friends are in Pearl's room, laughing and reading magazines. There is a knock on the door. Pearl answers it) 

Pearl: Hello? 

(A girl that looks like SpongeBob is there with her suitcase) 

[[Girly TeenGirl]]: Hi, I'm here for the slumber party. 

Pearl: Do I know you? 

Girly: My name is... um... Girly Teengirl! 

Pearl: (suspicious) Uh-huh. 

Girly: Um, I just moved here from.. um... [[Farawayville]]. 

Pearl: I know it's you, [[Sherm SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]! 

Girly: I don't know what you're talking about! (Pearl pulls her hair and lifts her up into the air) Aaaaah! 

Pearl: You were sent to spy on me by my dad! Get him, girls! 

Girly: Aaaaah! (The girls start attacking her, Girly soon runs away with fruit being thrown at her, crying) I am so moving back to Farawayville! 

(SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs drive up in a pizza delivery truck) 

Mr. Krabs: Who the heck is that? 

SpongeBob: I don't know, but she is ug-ly! Now to put on that disguise I told you about. (He puts on a phony mustache) Ta-da! Huh? Huh? Huh? 

Mr. Krabs: You are one-of-a-kind, boy. 

(SpongeBob knocks on the door of Mr. Krabs's house, holding a pizza box) 

SpongeBob: (with pizza box) Pizza delivery. 

Pearl: Go away, stranger, we didn't order any pizza! 

SpongeBob: Y-You didn't? 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell 'em it's from me! 

SpongeBob: You're dad sent it. It's already paid for. 

Pearl: (Opens the door) I'd sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza before I'd believe my dad would! Now, who are you? 

SpongeBob: Um.. uh... (His mustache turns into a bird and flutters away) Hey! 

Pearl: SpongeBob?! Is that you!? 

SpongeBob: They're on to us, they're trying to kill us, Mr. Krabs! Drive! 

Mr. Krabs: Right, boy! (He drives off without SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs. 

(The girls grab SpongeBob) 

Pearl: Get him! 

SpongeBob: AHH! (He drops the empty pizza box. It opens) 

Pearl: Oh, big surprise. Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza! 

(Back at SpongeBob's house, Mr. Krabs is digging through SpongeBob's box in his bedroom) 

Mr. Krabs: What's taking SpongeBob so long? I'm getting tired of looking through his stuff. 
(There is a knock on the door, Answers it) Hello? (Sees the pizza box) Pizza! 

(SpongeBob, in the shape of a pizza, is inside) 

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you. 

Mr. Krabs: I know, son. (takes a slice of SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: Ow, Mr. Krabs, don't eat it, that's actually my eye! 

(Mr. Krabs bites slice, then spits it out) 

Mr. Krabs: And it's ice cold, too. You should have been back here in 30 minutes or less! (takes another slice) 

(At Krabs and Pearl's house, the girls are playing a board game. There is a knock on the door) 

Pearl: Who is it!? 

SpongeBob: (disguised) Piano repair man! 

(The girls are giggling) 

Pearl: Okay! We'll be right outside in no time! 

SpongeBob: Hey look, Mr. Krabs, it's working! 

(Pearl and her friends drop the piano on SpongeBob from the roof) 

Pearl: Have it back by tomorrow, OK? 

SpongeBob: (squashed) Maybe we should just leave them alone, Mr. Krabs. They seem to be a little pretty trustworthy and they dont want us anymore. 

Mr. Krabs: You get into that party, or you're fired! 

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs. 

(There is another knock on the door of Pearl and Mr. Krabs's house) 

Pearl: Whoever could it be this time? 

SpongeBob: It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants. Can we talk, Pearl? Whale to sponge? 

Pearl: (to her friends on the roof) Hold the boiling oil! (Her friends groan) What do you want, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Oh, please let me stay at your party! Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please! 

Pearl: No! 

SpongeBob: Give me one good reason why I can't stay! 

Pearl: I can give you a hundred million billion reasons! 

SpongeBob: Yeesh, I only asked for one. 

Pearl: Reason number one: you're just like my dad! 

SpongeBob: Really? 

Pearl: A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy! 

SpongeBob: So if I prove I'm fun, can I stay? 

Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob. If you can prove you're the most fun person on the planet in the next ten seconds, you can stay. 

SpongeBob: I only need eight! (He runs inside) 

SpongeBob: Whoo! Party! (cranks up record player too loud) Crank it up! (we could hear screams on the record player) 

Pearl: Five seconds. 

SpongeBob: These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands! Whoo! 

Girl 1: I'm allergic to newsprint! (starts blotching) Oh, ow! 

Pearl: Two seconds! (Opens up a trap door to Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. Sponge falls inside) OK, OK, I got to admit. That was kinda fun. 

Girl 2: I think he's hurt. 

Pearl: He's not hurt. (SpongeBob groans) See? 

Girl 2: Maybe he's a zombie! 

Girl 1: If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain, I'm totally not going to be your friend anymore! (Pearl closes the trap door) 

SpongeBob: (recovers) Ooh, Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. (Squeals Happily) 
(Opens all the root beer kegs which fills up the cellar. SpongeBob absorbs it all and becomes a monster. Upstairs, the girls are watching the same movie SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs were watching) 

TV Announcer: We now return to Slumber Party Zombie Attack! 

Girl on TV: Ahh, a zombie! (A slimy, ugly thing appears on the screen) 

Pearl: This movie isn't all that scary! 

Girl 1: Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake! 

(The trap door creaks open, and the girls look. A real Monster emerges enormous and dripping with root beer, similar to the one on TV) 

Creature: (gurgling)(Growls. Sounds like "Fun! Party!") 

Girls: Aah! Real zombie! 

Creature: (Roars) (Squirts root beer out of his body) 

Girl 3: Aah! (gets soaked by root beer and falls down) 

Girl 4: Zombie juice! (gets blasted and falls down) 

Girl 5: Aah, run! 

Pearl: AHHH! (She narrowly avoids a root beer blast, which soaks some knick-knacks) 

(Root beer starts pouring out of the windows with random screaming girls sliding out) 

Creature: (gurgling) (Sinisterly) Who wants to dance? 

Girl 6: No! I already have a zombie boyfriend! 

Creature: (Sinister) Let's boogie! Whoo! (He starts spinning two girls in circles and get thrown out of windows) 

(The house keeps spewing more soda, the house gets inflated like a balloon and eventually breaks the door down and the whole house exploded like a bomb. The spewing, inflating and exploding stops as Mr. Krabs pops onto the scene) 

Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's toupee is going on here? Aah! Me house! Aah! Me knick-knacks! Aah! Me root beer! Me daughter! Me pile of old newspapers! (crying) I was maybe gonna read that someday! (to Pearl) I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! 

Pearl: Trusted me? Your employee destroyed this house and let our worm get away! (Picks up SpongeBob from inside the record player) The only boy at the party! 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?! (Shows the monster is SpongeBob again) 

SpongeBob: (normal voice) Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are. (Pearl drops him) Ow! 

Pearl: (to Mr. Krabs) It's your fault that you destroyed this whole house, my party is ruined, our worm is gone, and all my friends have zombie shock syndrome! 

Girl 6: (rocking back and forth) I'm too pretty to be a zombie! 

Pearl: We were fine with a nice simple slumber party. But now, it's ruined and now it’s gonna cost ya! 

Mr. Krabs: Cost me what? 

Pearl: (sinister) Money. 

Mr. Krabs: No! 

(At Goo Lagoon, a party is being held by Pearl. There are many people there) 

Pearl: Everyone having a good time? (crowd cheering) Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible! Thank you, daddy! 

(Mr. Krabs is far away behind a velvet rope. A body guard is watching him) 

Mr. Krabs: You're welcome, sweetie! (leaning on rope) Oh, this is so expensive! 

Bodyguard: You're not allowed any closer, sir. (SpongeBob appears) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I think I know what'll cheer you up. 

(Puts drinking glass under his armpit and squirts some root beer into it) 

SpongeBob: A mug of ice cold root beer! 

Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, that doesn't cheer me up at all!!! 
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
{{slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Krabby Road

2010-11-05T18:41:55Z

98.27.46.255: /* Dialogue */

:'''This page has been copied from its original [http://www.sbmania.net/index.php?option=com_staticxt&Itemid=59&staticfile=transcripts/krabbyroad.html source].'''
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: House Fancy|House Fancy]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Penny Foolish|Penny Foolish]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Krabby Road]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Karen]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Police]]

==Dialogue==

The episode begins in front of the Bikini Bottom Jail. The weather is thunder storming badly, and then we come inside to find 2 police officers.

Police Officer #1: ...and this is the maximum level. Since this is your first day, I'll let you peek at our number one
inmate. (He begins to whisper... you see them walk into a huge room that the floor is just a thin line and a huge jail
cell in the middle of it.) He's too dangerous to let him around the other inmates.

Police Officer #2: Why? What he'd do? Rob a bank?

Police Officer #1: Worse! He'd tried to steal the Krabby Patty formula.

Police Officer #2: Oh-kay.

Police Officer #1: So that's why we keep him behind these impenatratable 6-inch steel doors. (While he says that, he
knocks on the door and the door opens.) Of course, it helps to lock it. (They both run into the cell.) He's gone! He's so
small, he could be anywhere!

Police Officer #2: He could be right under our noses! (Camera goes to Police Officer #1's moustache; the moustache then
jumps off of the guy's face, running away) Umm... Frank, where's your moustache? (Camera changes to the siren outside of
the jail and we see spotlights everywhere to find him. We see the moustache run through the halls and then under the door.
We then notice that it's Plankton under it.)

Plankton: Ha-ha! Those fools will never find me now! (We all notice that the moustache makes him have a "punk" like hair
style. Scene changes to in front of the Chum Bucket, where Plankton is talking to his wife.) Oh come on, baby. You know
how long I've been in stir.

Karen: '''''GET OUT!''''' (Literally kicks Plankton out of the Chum Bucket.) '''''AND STAY OUT! YOU TWO TIME LOSER!'''''

Plankton: After everything I've done for you.

Karen: '''''BEAT IT, YOU JAIL BIRD, AND TAKE ALL OF YOUR JUNK, TOO!''''' (She kicks out a box of his stuff out of the Chum Bucket
too. Plankton tries to struggle out under of the box)

Plankton: Well, that's just great. (Plankton notices his Electric Guitar.) Hey! Its my old guitar. I used to play it, when
I was in that band, as a kid. Man, those were good times. (A flashback starts and it shows Plankton in a 2 year old
bedroom. His electric guitar is shown with a drum set and a guitar being "played" by his stuffed animals.) Okay everybody!
One two... one two three! (You see Plankton try to play it and you see the rest of them doing nothing, as they were
stuffed animals. His cocoa falls over and you see him annoyed. Then the flashback ends.) You know, I don't think I've had
any good times.

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob's voice can be heard. A few seconds later, you see him on the street behind Plankton singing a song.)

Oh I wish I was grinding up the Krabby Patties.
That's what I really love to do.
Take a couple Boo-Ooh-Ooh!
And a pinch of Awoogah!
A teaspoon of *raspberry*

Gerblish*

Then I mix some of this and put it over there,
as I write this song.
Mix in some...
Nyah-Nyah-Nyah!
Add a splash of wee...
(*takes out giant knife*)
And when I'm done, I chop up some
Love....

Plankton: (Listens to SpongeBob's song and then talks during the "Then I mis some of..." line.) He's sing about the Krabby Patty. If I could just get him to explain that song, I'll have the Krabby Patty formula. Mix in some... Hi, SpongeBob. Nyah-Nyah-Nyah That's a real nice song. Add a splash of wee... But could you explain those "wee" parts? And when I'm done, I chop up some Gahh! (Plankton runs from the knife being tossed on the ground. The song ends.) Are you out of your mind? Er, I mean, that was a delightful song you were singing.

SpongeBob: Thanks, Plankton. (SpongeBob waves at Plankton) Mr. Krabs makes me censor out all the patty ingredients from my
lyrics.

Plankton: Oh, that's terrible. Krabs shouldn't stifle a true artist like you! Go ahead and sing your patty song uncensored!

SpongeBob: (*gasps*) I know what you're doing!

Plankton: What, me? I'm not trying to steal the patty formula!

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob points at Plankton.) You want me to... join your band!

Plankton: What band? I don't have a band.

SpongeBob: Oh, but you can't fool me! Not when you got an awesome guitar like that! And only a true rocker would have hair
as greasy and nasty as yours. It'll be so cool! We could write songs together!

Plankton: Songs? (Plankton smiles with a brilliant idea.) Yes! And you can teach me your Krabby Patty songs!

SpongeBob: Yay! Come on, let's go get our band together! (Scene changes to in front of Squidward's house. SpongeBob is
holding Plankton's guitar and Plankton is on it. SpongeBob and Patrick starts yelling in excitement.) Patrick, Patrick!

Patrick: SpongeBob, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Patrick, I've got big news!

Patrick: Me too! Me too!

SpongeBob: What's your news?

Patrick: (Both calm down.) I found out where boogers come from. (Patrick whispers into SpongeBob's ears indistinctly, and
tells him where they come from. SpongeBob is shocked, but then is a little grossed out.)

SpongeBob: Ew, really?

Patrick: (Nods in agreement.) Uh-huh. What's your news?

SpongeBob: Plankton just asked me to join his Rock-N-Roll band! (Gets excited again, and asks Plankton...) Can Patrick
join our band?

Plankton: Sure, whatever.

SpongeBob: Hear that, Patrick. You're in.

Patrick: All right! I play a mean belly. (He starts playing to the tune of, "The William Tell Overture", and his belly
sounds like a drum set. It ends, and he bows at Plankton and SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: Wow, Patrick, we're gonna be famous! (SpongeBob hugs Patrick while still holding onto the guitar, and they hear
Squidward laughing. Squidward walks towards them and talks.)

Squidward: Give me a break. You don't know anything about music! Too bad you're not a musical genius, like me.

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob gets an idea.) Oh, Squidward... (SpongeBob trips Squidward over by holding his legs down on the
ground. Squidward says "What the...".) Would you help us by joining our band?

Squidward: (Squidward gets up.) Well, I could help you, but I wouldn't soil my art playing Rock-N-Roll; dressing all in
black, wearing boots covered in spikes, (as he continues, he imagine that it's worth it, and slowly changes his mind)
playing enormous stadiums filled with screaming, adoring fans... (Squidward smiles to the idea) clapping, demanding
encores... cheering me... (He imitates cheering... stops after a few seconds.) Oh, uh, changed my mind. I'll join your
band and help you bottom-feeders, (bursts out rest of the line) BUT I gotta get in shape first! (Squidward leaves to his
house.)

SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Plankton? Squidward is gonna help us!

Plankton: Hmm? Uh yea, great. (Bubble transition appears and the scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick in SpongeBob's
garage. We see SpongeBob in an 80's Rock-N-Roll outfit, with an afro wig.)

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, being in a band gives you the liberty to dress with a little more... uh, how should I put
this?

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Well, with just a little more...

Patrick: (Furious) Go ahead, say it, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: You know, Pizzazz!

Patrick: (Clears throat and continues) Perhaps you didn't notice... my new hairdo.

SpongeBob (SpongeBob looks behind him and Patrick has a ponytail hairstyle.) Whoa-ho-ho, I stand corrected!

Patrick: And unlike your nasty, little wig... (He pulls of SpongeBob's wig) mine is real! (He shows it by pulling it and
it doesn't come off.)

SpongeBob: Man, how'd you grow that so fast?

Patrick: Natural talent, watch this... (Patrick shows that he can make his hair come in and out of his skin and make it in
any hairdo he wants.)

SpongeBob: Whoo, yeah! (SpongeBob claps) Dig that fancy follicle work!

Patrick: Hey, check this one out. (Patrick does the trick again, but this time, he makes it an "old guy's" hairdo.)

SpongeBob: Oh man, Squidward's not gonna want to miss this. (SpongeBob calls Squidward)

Squidward: Hello?

SpongeBob: Squidward, aren't you coming to band practice?

Squidward: Are you kidding? I've got a lot of work to do before I'm famous! (Shows Squidward about to exercise...
Squidward tries to, but breaks an unknown part. Squidward hangs up, and we hear a dial tone)

SpongeBob: (Laughs) Ok, then, we'll keep your seat warm. (SpongeBob snaps once) Patrick?

Patrick: I'm on it. (It shows Patrick making a fire under his seat to keep it warm. Plankton finally comes in the garage.
He's carrying a box.)

Plankton: Greetings, fellow band-mates.

SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton, what's that?

Plankton: (Plankton puts the box down) T-shirts.

(Next 2 lines are said at the same time)

SpongeBob: (Gasps) Patrick: Ooh! Both: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy... (Both laugh)
Ah, (SpongeBob begins to be confused) "Plankton and the... Patty Stealers"?

Plankton: (Starts to sweat manically) Uh, if you guys don't like the name, uh...

SpongeBob: I... LOVE IT! It's kind of vague and mysterious.

Patrick: Can I get mine in Pink? (Plankton growls. The scene skips to where they're wearing the shirt and Patrick laughs.
Patrick's shirt color makes his skin perfectly.) It looks like a tattoo!

SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this? (SpongeBob makes some loud music with voice) And then turn into
one of those songs that goes... (SpongeBob makes a high pitched screech.)

Plankton: (He's annoyed both times by covering his ears, and then resumes to his normal attitude.) Yes, perfect, now all
we need are the lyrics. You know something personal. Maybe a secret you know, or a favorite recipe, hmm?

SpongeBob: Or... one about my new friend Plankton?

(Next 2 lines are said together.)

Plankton: Stop it! (Growls after SpongeBob stops)

SpongeBob: Or the adventures of...

Plankton: (Plankton clips SpongeBob's lips with a tool) The best kind of lyrics are the ones that are deep and revealing.
Something only you know? *coughs* Secret recipe.

Patrick: I once searched for my innermost secrets. All I found was this. (Patrick shows that he's holding his heart.)

SpongeBob: (Still muffled) Is that what you mean, Plankton? (Plankton slaps his head with annoyance. Scene skips to later
that day when Plankton has a machine in the garage. He grunts as he carries it.) What is that?

Plankton: It's my, uh, recording equipment. (He then laughs evilly)

SpongeBob: (Becomes really excited) Oh, my gosh, what do I do?

Plankton: (He scoots a chair next to SpongeBob) Just take a seat here, and I'll strap you in. (SpongeBob sits down,
Plankton straps SpongeBob's arms on the chair and puts a pair of headphones on SpongeBob.) Now just relax and let the
equipment do its job. (Machine starts to beep and make sucking noises. On the headphone wire, you can tell that it's
sucking SpongeBob's brain.) Let let's see what's locked in his subconscious. (The machine makes static crackles. When
Plankton finds a "station" on the radio, SpongeBob is the speaker. SpongeBob sings songs just like a radio.)

The song is in tune with, "Oh My Darlin'".
Time to feed him
Time to feed him
Now it's Gary's feeding time.
Mrow mrow meow, mrow mrow meow.

(While SpongeBob sings the last song, Plankton says, "Nope" and changes the station. More static and we hear a new song.)

The song is in tune with, "Row Your Boat".
Brush, Brush, Brush My Teeth,
Gently keep them clean
brush brush brush, my teeth clean!

(Plankton interrupts, his time, he ends the song. More static is heard.) The Krabby Patty Formula's gotta be in here somewhere. (The machine makes a dead beeping noise and feedback noises to Plankton. He smacks the machine, says "What's going-" and then screams only to realize that Patrick is wearing the headphones. Patrick goans, and the machine explodes. Plankton starts crying.) I'm a failure.

SpongeBob: Cheer up, Plankton. We've still got a whole week before our first gig at the Krusty Krab. (Plankton still
cries.)

Plankton: At the Krusty Krab? (Plankton stops crying.)

SpongeBob: Uh-huh, but Old Man Krabs doesn't want us bugging the customers. So, we have to go in after hours when nobody's
there.

Plankton: (His spirits are lifted.) When nobody's there? (Plankton makes a purring noise with drool coming out of his
mouth at the thought of it. The scene is skipped to where they start practicing. SpongeBob is playing Plankton's guitar,
Patrick is doing his drums, and Plankton, not very excited, plays only one note on his mini-keyboard. The camera is moved
to outside in front of Squidward and SpongeBob's house, then it's moved where we see Squidward exercising. He makes one
more and he has huge muscles. He gasps at it.)

Squidward: My perfect dream-body. (Squidward runs out of his house with his bass guitar and goes into SpongeBob's house to
practice. They then make noises that sound like they're practicing. A time card comes up and says "One Week Later..." The
scene is skipped where the 4 of them are heading towards the Krusty Krab at nighttime. They're all wearing their Rock-N-
Roll outfits. We hear from a distance, tire screeching. We then notice it's a police car.)

Plankton: Oh, no, it's the cops. I can't let them see me!

SpongeBob: Why?

Plankton: Why? Uh, cops are autograph hounds. Yeah, they're always after me.

SpongeBob: Mm, that's tough. Don't worry, I'll hide you. (SpongeBob hides Plankton by sucking him into his nose. The
police car stops in front of them.)

Police Officer: Hey, what are you kids up to this late?

SpongeBob: We're on our way to our first gig. We're in a band.

Police Officer: A band, huh, well, that's, uh... Oh. (The cop sees a green thing coming out of SpongeBob's nose.) Uh,
you've got a, uh...

SpongeBob: Got a, uh, what? (SpongeBob laughs)

Police Officers: Uh... it's right... (He points to a nostril on his face.)

SpongeBob: Yes? (SpongeBob laughs again. The cop motions to wipe it off. You can tell Plankton's feet were coming out.)
Police Officer: Just keep your nose clean, kid. (Police officer leaves.) Sure thing, officer. (SpongeBob blows his nose,
and blows out Plankton.) They're gone.

Plankton: You will never speak of this to anyone. (Scene skips to in front of the Krusty Krab.) Come on, come on, hurry up.

SpongeBob: Don't worry, I just need to get the key out. (SpongeBob hums while opening the door, but is unsuccessul both times to get the key in the key hole. Plankton grabs the key.)

Plankton: Give me that, you incompetent fool. (Plankton opens the door and drops the key on the ground. Plankton also goes
on the ground.) Yes, the Krabby Patty Formula is mine! Uh, I mean, we'll have a great time! (Plankton goes inside and
whispers to himself.) Now where does Krabs keep that formula? (SpongeBob screams as he goes inside.)

SpongeBob: Whoo, let's rock!

(The next 2 lines are said at the same time.)

Patrick: Yeah!

Squidward: We're gonna be stars! (They're all inside the Krusty Krab and SpongeBob hooks up the speaker set. Plankton is
no where to be seen.)

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob starts out by acting all excited like a rock stars.) All right! Squidward, are you ready? (Squidward
makes a loud bass guitar strum and replies, "I'm ready!") OK! Patrick, are you ready? (Patrick answers by laughing while
beating his belly.) Plankton, are you ready? (Crickets are chirping in the background.) Plankton? (We see Plankton is
stealing the formula. SpongeBob gasps.) Plankton! (He breaks the bottle by saying his name in the mic loudly. The formula
is shown to the audience, but all of it is in gerblish.)

Plankton: Uh... I'm ready?

SpongeBob: Wait a minute... Was this band just a front so you could steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?

Plankton: What, no, I was in it for the music, man! (The camera changes to outside the Krusty Krab and we see 12 police
cars circle around the Krusty Krab. We change scenes by going back to in front of the Bikini Bottom Jail. The camera then
goes to Plankton, who's in a caged box. Plankton sighs.) Well, at least I'm back to my old cell.

Police Officer #2: Oh, no, you're not. We've got a special cell for you. (Frank, or Police Officer #1, moves a small
painting out of the way, unlocks a safe, and both of them put Plankton in there.)

Plankton: But I liked my old cell.

Police Officer #2: Then you're gonna love this one. (They close the cell and we see a small window on the other side with
SpongeBob's eye poking through.)

SpongeBob: There's no time to waste, Plankton. (Plankton looks outside.) We've only got 22 years to practice before our
next gig. (We now see that all 3 of them are there, about to practice.) A one and a two... (They start practicing and
Plankton screams.)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Krabbenburger Blues]]

Episode Transcript: Goo Goo Gas

2010-11-05T16:49:20Z

98.27.46.255: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Krusty Plate|The Krusty Plate]]
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Episode Article: [[Goo Goo Gas]]

==Characters==
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Karen]]
*Officer Frank
*Officer Durado
Customers:
**[[Fred]]
**[[Frank (cameo character)|Frank]]
**[[Miss Shell]]
**[[Dennis]]
**[[Old Man Jenkins]]
**[[Larry]]

==Dialogue==
(It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a pepper shaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer)

Plankton: Ha! (He runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind)

Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.

Plankton: Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. (Gets the Krabby Patty from him)

Plankton: How'd you know it was me?

Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.

Plankton: Hmm. Perhaps a pepper shaker was a bit obvious.

Mr. Krabs: You think. SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs onto the scene)

SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! (Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth)

Announcer: (off-screen) 3, 2, 1... launch! (SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat)

Plankton: AAHH!

(Cut to the park. Plankton is on a bench)

Plankton: Never, never. I'll never get Krabs's formula. Mr. Krabs is too powerful. Only there away of render in helpless.

Sadie: Aww, look at you! You're so small, tiny and helpless!

Plankton: HEY! I resent that! Huh?

(Cuts back to show Sadie with her baby)

Sadie: Why, you're so tiny and helpless that I could take your formula and you couldn't do a thing about it! (Takes bottle away from baby. He starts to cry until he gets it back)

Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless...baby.

(Cut to Mr. Krabs inside his restaurant)

Mr. Krabs: (A penny catches his eye) Ooh, a penny. (He sees a trail of pennies) A trail of pennies! (They lead him into a phone booth outside.)
Plankton: (We see some green gas appear around Mr. Krabs) I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! (He opens the phone booth, revealing Mr. Krabs as a baby. The key is right beside him) The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped. (Looks at Mr. Krabs) He's a little bigger than I imagined. (Mr. Krabs starts biting him) Ow! Ow! Ow! (releases him, but he can't reach for the doors)

SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, you're just too cute. Kutchi Kutchi Koo!(Laughs.)

Plankton: Hello! If you're done making a total fool of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go.

Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty secret formula will be mine! Hello.

SpongeBob: Police! Police!

(cut to the police taking Plankton away in handcuffs, but they're too big to hold him)

Plankton: Fools! You'll never hold me! These primitive shackles are no match for my genius! (jumps out of them) That was easy. I'm free! Free!!!!!! (police chase him)

SpongeBob: Squidward! I found this baby and it's not a baby! It's Mr. Krabs!

Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'll be on my coffee break. A very long coffee break.

(scene cuts to the Chum Bucket)

Plankton:And then that sponge called the cops!

Karen:Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time spray spongebab too.

Plankton: What?

Karen:Listen carefully. Spray.

Plankton: Yes.

Karen:Sponge.

Plankton: OK.

Karen:Bab.

Plankton:All right.

Karen: Too!

Plankton: Now you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and Spongebob.

Karen: Thats what I...

Plankton:(interuppts) Na na, I dont want to hear any more of your loony schemes Karen.(Plankton jumps off chair) I've got work to do. (cuts to Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? You thirsty? (gives him some milk and he stops crying) That's it, drink up! (Krabs spits the bottle out of his mouth and he continues to cry) Okay, maybe you're hungry? Do you want a nice soft Krabby Patty? (flicks it away and continues to cry) Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of twenties?

Plankton: (comes in when Mr. Krabs is smelling the money) Hands in the air! (Both obey.)

SpongeBob: Plankton!

Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. (Sprays both, but Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby) What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal. (sprays again) It seems the second dose acts as an antidote! One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! (sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal) Or is it three squirts for baby, and four squirts for adult? Barnacles, I've run out of gas!

Mr. Krabs: Ehem!

Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. (Mr. Krabs is about to throw him) Come on, come on! (throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air) I've got it!

Mr. Krabs: (checking the mailbox) Better be something other than bills this time. (Plankton comes out) Plankton!

Plankton: Peek-a-boo!

Mr. Krabs: (running back in the Krusty Krab) I can't tolerate your stinky gas!

Old Customer: (farts)

Miss Shell: That makes two of us.

Old Customer: I don't do it on purpose!

Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh...another penny! Come to papa! Now were we doing?

Plankton: This! (sprays him)

Plankton: What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry? (Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen) What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!

Mr. Krabs: Eh? What was that, Sonny?

Plankton: Out of my way, Manuseulla! You're old and useless. (SpongeBob comes out of nowhere)

SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, old citizenry!

Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! (sprays the gas on SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.(laughs weakly)

Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!

SpongeBob: Eh? What was that, sonny?

Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.

SpongeBob: What?

Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Get him!

SpongeBob: Can't you?

Mr. Krabs: Gesundheit.

Plankton: Victory is mine! (shaken by the sound of walkers)

SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!

Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! Oof. I'll catch up with the boy.

SpongeBob: I'm catching up with my knitting.

Mr. Krabs: (hatches an idea) That's it! Gotcha now, little nitwit!

Plankton: That was almost too easy. (is caught in a net) No! I demand you geezers release me!

Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The pinata party.

Plankton: What?

Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old. I want candy!

(back at the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (mumbling) 1 squirt equals baby, carry over the 2 plus the square root of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.

(cut to the Barg'n Mart)

Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?

The Pink Fish: You mean the Kelp-O?

Plankton: No, not that! The ugly drippy smelly thing.

The Pink Fish: Are you talking about my baby? Creep! (Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up running over him)

Plankton:Ow owww. What? Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey, buddy, is this made of real or artificial baby? (The Pink Fish runs over Plankton again)Ow!

Plankton: (Cut to Plankton back in his lab. He is pouring gas into small bombs) That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!

Karen:(sarcastically) Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"

Plankton: What is it now, Karen?

Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all willy nilly!

Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! (grabs the pack and points it at Karen)

Karen: (gasps) Plankton, don't you dare! (sprays her and a calculator falls to the ground)

Plankton: Karen! Speak to me!

Karen:07734(Hello)

Plankton:It worked!

(cut to the Krusty Krab, where old Mr. Krabs is drinking a soda)

Plankton: Everyone say your ABC's! (sprays two people, who start crying) Now when you turn into babies, you stay babies! (sprays more people) Hey, Krabs, catch! (He turns into a baby. Old SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen)

SpongeBob: What's wrong, little feller? (he is turned into a baby, and both cry)

(cut to a ceiling scene of the Krusty Krab, where there is a chaos. Cut to the bathroom doors, with a baby next to it. Squidward enters, along with a gas bomb. The doors open and he turns into a baby. Patrick is also turned into a baby)

Plankton: My moment of triumph! (slips on drool) What the? Oh, gross! I command you to stop drooling on me!

Mr. Krabs: Goo!

Plankton: (Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and starts shaking him) Put me down! Stop it! I'm an adult!

(SpongeBob starts biting him. he releases him and he lands in Patrick's diaper. Mr. Krabs is then seen sucking the Krabby Patty secret formula)

Plankton: Huh? I don't believe it! Krabby Patty Formula! He's teething on it! Give it here, you big stupid baby!

(Mr. Krabs bashes Plankton with the bottle)

Plankton: Ouch! (Baby krabs hits him 2 times) I've got it! Just like taking candy from a baby! Get it, Krabs? I'm taking candy from you! (Baby SpongeBob starts playing with the gas) Hey! What are you doing? (the gas releases and it sprays Plankton) Uh-oh!

(Plankton shrinks as the bottle squashed him and now he's inside a gray ameoba field)

Baby Plankton: Ahem! (puts hands over privates) Mama's evil little genius needs a diaper!

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

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[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Das Gaga-Gas]]

Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us

2010-11-05T16:41:32Z

98.27.46.255: /* Back at the Krusty Krab */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Juckreiz]]
{| border="1"
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Episode Article: [[Fungus Among Us]]

==Characters==

*[[Gary]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[S.W.A.T Team]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
===Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom===
(While SpongeBob sleeps, Gary notices his food bowl is empty. So, he slithers up to the diving board, jumps off, and licks SpongeBob, who giggles and wakes up.)

SpongeBob: Gary! What are you doing!?!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh! You're bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say (rushes to get food) "organic"!

Gary: Meow? *Raspberries*

SpongeBob: There you go, Gary! (Gary sniffs it and rejects the food. He slithers over to a fungus growing on the floor, smiles, and eats some.) Gary! Shame on you! I realize you're a bottomfeeder, but have some manners! You know you're not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!

Gary: (Mocking) Meow, meow, meow...(SpongeBob attempts to clean it, but to no avail.)

===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn't seem to be coming off! (The doorbell rings.) Ooh! Company!!!(He itches his head as he answers the door.)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!!! (gasps)

SpongeBob: Is something wrong, Patrick?

Patrick: SpongeBob! What is that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Patrick: This!(He bends SpongeBob's head over so he can see the fungus on his head.)

SpongeBob: Ow!!! P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?

Patrick: Scratch it like there's no tomorrow!

SpongeBob: Good idea!(He does so.)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: I don't know about this!

SpongeBob: What makes you say that?

Patrick: This.

(He takes out a mirror and shows SpongeBob that the fungus has spread.)

SpongeBob: Ahh!!! It's getting bigger! (swallows) Nothing a little pimple cream can't cure! (He spreads some on.) That's more like it! All better. See, Patrick?

Patrick: Sure do! Well, I gotta go sit in my hole. Catch ya later, pal.

SpongeBob: Bye, Patrick!
===In SpongeBob's Bathroom===
(Patrick leaves, and SpongeBob goes and takes a shower. He lathers the soap into an anchor shape, and when he rinses, the fungus is in an anchor shape.) Ahh... This feels better!
===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: (We now see him doing a crossword.) Let's see. A four-letter word, ooh. Meaning of uncomfortable sensation on the dermis... hmm. (He feels an itch.) ITCH!!! {He starts scratching his head.) Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy, swolling skin rash now and then. Just don't scratch it and it'll go away...eventually. (As he says this, a piece of fungus comes down onto his nose. He flings it onto the wall, but another one grows, so he pushes his nose in.) There! Outta sight, outta mind! Huh? (He sees the fungus on the wall, scoops it up, and tries to throw it away, but it sticks.) I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking! (He puts on gloves from a first aid kit.) Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties... Except maybe this unbearable itchiness! Must... Stop... scratching!!! (scratches)

(Squidward comes in.)

Squidward: SpongeBob, dahhh!!!! (He sees SpongeBob scratching the fungus.) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward!

Squidward: SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?

SpongeBob: All what-y?

Squidward: Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?

SpongeBob: Oh, that! It's nothing really, Squidward... Just a little blemish, that's all!(His nose pops out with the fungus, and Squidward screams. He jumps to the top of the cabinet.)

Squidward: That's no blemish!

SpongeBob: Help... Me!!!

Squidward: Oh, I'll help you, alright!(He takes out a phone.)

===Wall Opening===
S.W.A.T. Fish #1: S.W.A.T. Team. (Gibberish on the other end.) We'll be right over!(The team breaks through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab and slide down ropes from a helicopter.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #2: Hold it right there! Neptune's trident! This is the most severe case of Ick yet.(He tries to touch SpongeBob.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #3: Stop, you fool! (smacks other fish's hand away) Do you wanna get infected? This is a job for the hazmat physician.

Hazmat Physician: Get back! I said, get back! Back I say!(He pushes SpongeBob into a cage, which is promptly lifted by a helicopter.)

SpongeBob: What's going on, Squidward? Help!!!(As the helicopter flies away, a piece of fungus attaches itself to Squidward. Later, at the cash register...)

Squidward: Here's your change, sir.(As he hands him the coins, some fungus gets on the old man. He puts them in his pockets, then readjusts his glasses, which leaves fungus all over his nose.)

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, why thank you very much, young man.

Squidward: What was that? Oh, don't fool yourself, Squidward! That can't be the Ick.(He scratches himself. Meanwhile, we see a SpongeBob completely covered in fungus in a bubble with tubes coming from it.)
===Back at SpongeBob's House===
SpongeBob: Where am I? Whoa!

{Doctors are talking to each other}

SpongeBob: Who are you people? I wanna go home!(We see a scientist walk up.)

Scientist: You are home, SpongeBob. You just have to stay in this bubble until the Ick clears up.

SpongeBob: Where's my snail, Gary?

Scientist: We're taking care of your pet.(We see Gary in a bubble similar to SpongeBob's.)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary? Whoa!(He notices someone scanning him.)

Hazmat: He appears stable, sir.

Scientist: Alright, boys, let's pack it up.

(They leave, and we see SpongeBob's Pineapple, covered in a plastic bag, with police tape and barbed wire around it. It says "Quarantine" on it. Then, we see SpongeBob filter-feeding like in "I Had an Accident". Patrick walks in.)Patrick: Wow! (He bumps into the bubble.) Huh? What is this?(Pokes)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop! Stop! You're gonna pop it!

Patrick: Really? How about if I squeeze it like this? (He squeezes it. SpongeBob gasps.)
Or this? (He bites it. SpongeBob gasps again.) Or this? (He digs cleats into it.)

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!!! How many times do I have to tell you? Be careful!!!

Patrick: Sorry. Hey, wanna play a game of pirate wrestling?

SpongeBob: Sure! Let's begin! (They take out hooks and tear up the bubble.) Um... Patrick?

Patrick: I win! I win! I win!

SpongeBob: Patrick?(He starts dancing around and doing the "Worm".)

Patrick: Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick!

SpongeBob: PATRICK!!! What am I gonna do? My bubble is destroyed.

Patrick: I've got an idea!(He pulls out bubble soap and begins to blow a bubble around SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: There is no time for games, Pat! Now think, SpongeBob! The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands! (He notices the bubble) Patrick, you're a genius! And this one's mobile! (wheels it around a little) Now I can go back to work! (puts on hat)(Squidward's fungus is spreading. Mr. Krabs pulls him into the kitchen.)

===Back at the Krusty Krab===
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Help! {pulls Squidward through the window into the kitchen} Help me flip these patties! We've got growling stomachs out there! (Squidward shakes his head, and gets Ick all over the patties.)

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!

Mr. Krabs: Then would it be too much trouble to ask his high and mightiness to take these patties out to the customers? Oh... If only SpongeBob were here...

Squidward: If SpongeBob were here, we'd be covered in the Ick!(He scratches, oblivious to the fact that he has Ick all over him, too.) Lunch is served! (Gives Ick Patties to a couple.) Eat up, kids. (The kids bite into their Ick kid's meal, and as everyone bites into their food, Squidward scratches all over.} Oh, Why am I so itchy? (He gets some on the wall and sees that he has the fungus, screams and all the customers look at him) SpongeBob gave me the Ick! And I gave it to all you people!!! (An angry mob forms around Squidward.) Stay back, you diseased freaks!

Mr. Krabs: What's all the commotion about?

Fish #1: (With accent) The commotion, my dear crabs, is regarding the hygiene ofthis staff of your eating establishment, which would appear to be inadequate.

Mr. Krabs: Inadequate!?! I'll have you know, the staff of the Krusty Krab take a solemn pledge, to show up every day in a week clean and disease-free. (door opens and Mr. Krabs is awestruck)

SpongeBob: Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob SquarePants, returning for duty, sir.

(All eyes turn to SpongeBob in his bubble, who has swollen up to an enormous green square. He puts on his hat, and squirts green juice inside his bubble. The fish gasp.)

Fish #1: Is that what you consider clean and disease-free, Krabby? I say we ramshack this greasy disease shack! Who's with me?

All: We are!

Mr. Krabs: It wasn't me! It was Squidward! He gave you all the Ick!

Squidward: No! No I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab!!! {everybody growls and screams}

Fish #1: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator!!!(They attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out.)

Gary: Meow.(sees what's happening. Some fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through.)

SpongeBob: Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick!!! No!!!(All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Ick all over the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs starts laughing.)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!

Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob: Gary the snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?(We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs.)

Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured! And he'll clean the Ick off any surface! Even Squid!(Gary sucks the fungus off Squidward, next.)

Peterson: Whoa! Me next!

Fish #3: Where are your manners? It's ladies first!

Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first.

Fish #1: I supercede all of you. For I have an exotic accent!

Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution you'll be happy with. (Later...) Step up to be de-Icked! Only 5 dollars!(The first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him.)

Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty?(The guy whacks him with his hat.)

Fish #1: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. (pulls out money) I'll take two, please.

Mr. Krabs: Alright!(SpongeBob is next. He hands Krabs the money.)

SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Another 5 dollars for another de-Icking!(Gary cleans SpongeBob off.)

SpongeBob: Look, Gar! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottomfeeder a sponge could ever have!

Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work!

(Gary burps loudly.)

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

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Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us

2010-11-05T16:40:26Z

98.27.46.255: /* Back at SpongeBob's House */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Juckreiz]]
{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Waiting|Waiting]]
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Episode Article: [[Fungus Among Us]]

==Characters==

*[[Gary]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[S.W.A.T Team]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
===Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom===
(While SpongeBob sleeps, Gary notices his food bowl is empty. So, he slithers up to the diving board, jumps off, and licks SpongeBob, who giggles and wakes up.)

SpongeBob: Gary! What are you doing!?!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh! You're bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say (rushes to get food) "organic"!

Gary: Meow? *Raspberries*

SpongeBob: There you go, Gary! (Gary sniffs it and rejects the food. He slithers over to a fungus growing on the floor, smiles, and eats some.) Gary! Shame on you! I realize you're a bottomfeeder, but have some manners! You know you're not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!

Gary: (Mocking) Meow, meow, meow...(SpongeBob attempts to clean it, but to no avail.)

===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn't seem to be coming off! (The doorbell rings.) Ooh! Company!!!(He itches his head as he answers the door.)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!!! (gasps)

SpongeBob: Is something wrong, Patrick?

Patrick: SpongeBob! What is that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Patrick: This!(He bends SpongeBob's head over so he can see the fungus on his head.)

SpongeBob: Ow!!! P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?

Patrick: Scratch it like there's no tomorrow!

SpongeBob: Good idea!(He does so.)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: I don't know about this!

SpongeBob: What makes you say that?

Patrick: This.

(He takes out a mirror and shows SpongeBob that the fungus has spread.)

SpongeBob: Ahh!!! It's getting bigger! (swallows) Nothing a little pimple cream can't cure! (He spreads some on.) That's more like it! All better. See, Patrick?

Patrick: Sure do! Well, I gotta go sit in my hole. Catch ya later, pal.

SpongeBob: Bye, Patrick!
===In SpongeBob's Bathroom===
(Patrick leaves, and SpongeBob goes and takes a shower. He lathers the soap into an anchor shape, and when he rinses, the fungus is in an anchor shape.) Ahh... This feels better!
===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: (We now see him doing a crossword.) Let's see. A four-letter word, ooh. Meaning of uncomfortable sensation on the dermis... hmm. (He feels an itch.) ITCH!!! {He starts scratching his head.) Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy, swolling skin rash now and then. Just don't scratch it and it'll go away...eventually. (As he says this, a piece of fungus comes down onto his nose. He flings it onto the wall, but another one grows, so he pushes his nose in.) There! Outta sight, outta mind! Huh? (He sees the fungus on the wall, scoops it up, and tries to throw it away, but it sticks.) I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking! (He puts on gloves from a first aid kit.) Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties... Except maybe this unbearable itchiness! Must... Stop... scratching!!! (scratches)

(Squidward comes in.)

Squidward: SpongeBob, dahhh!!!! (He sees SpongeBob scratching the fungus.) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward!

Squidward: SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?

SpongeBob: All what-y?

Squidward: Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?

SpongeBob: Oh, that! It's nothing really, Squidward... Just a little blemish, that's all!(His nose pops out with the fungus, and Squidward screams. He jumps to the top of the cabinet.)

Squidward: That's no blemish!

SpongeBob: Help... Me!!!

Squidward: Oh, I'll help you, alright!(He takes out a phone.)

===Wall Opening===
S.W.A.T. Fish #1: S.W.A.T. Team. (Gibberish on the other end.) We'll be right over!(The team breaks through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab and slide down ropes from a helicopter.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #2: Hold it right there! Neptune's trident! This is the most severe case of Ick yet.(He tries to touch SpongeBob.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #3: Stop, you fool! (smacks other fish's hand away) Do you wanna get infected? This is a job for the hazmat physician.

Hazmat Physician: Get back! I said, get back! Back I say!(He pushes SpongeBob into a cage, which is promptly lifted by a helicopter.)

SpongeBob: What's going on, Squidward? Help!!!(As the helicopter flies away, a piece of fungus attaches itself to Squidward. Later, at the cash register...)

Squidward: Here's your change, sir.(As he hands him the coins, some fungus gets on the old man. He puts them in his pockets, then readjusts his glasses, which leaves fungus all over his nose.)

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, why thank you very much, young man.

Squidward: What was that? Oh, don't fool yourself, Squidward! That can't be the Ick.(He scratches himself. Meanwhile, we see a SpongeBob completely covered in fungus in a bubble with tubes coming from it.)
===Back at SpongeBob's House===
SpongeBob: Where am I? Whoa!

{Doctors are talking to each other}

SpongeBob: Who are you people? I wanna go home!(We see a scientist walk up.)

Scientist: You are home, SpongeBob. You just have to stay in this bubble until the Ick clears up.

SpongeBob: Where's my snail, Gary?

Scientist: We're taking care of your pet.(We see Gary in a bubble similar to SpongeBob's.)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary? Whoa!(He notices someone scanning him.)

Hazmat: He appears stable, sir.

Scientist: Alright, boys, let's pack it up.

(They leave, and we see SpongeBob's Pineapple, covered in a plastic bag, with police tape and barbed wire around it. It says "Quarantine" on it. Then, we see SpongeBob filter-feeding like in "I Had an Accident". Patrick walks in.)Patrick: Wow! (He bumps into the bubble.) Huh? What is this?(Pokes)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop! Stop! You're gonna pop it!

Patrick: Really? How about if I squeeze it like this? (He squeezes it. SpongeBob gasps.)
Or this? (He bites it. SpongeBob gasps again.) Or this? (He digs cleats into it.)

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!!! How many times do I have to tell you? Be careful!!!

Patrick: Sorry. Hey, wanna play a game of pirate wrestling?

SpongeBob: Sure! Let's begin! (They take out hooks and tear up the bubble.) Um... Patrick?

Patrick: I win! I win! I win!

SpongeBob: Patrick?(He starts dancing around and doing the "Worm".)

Patrick: Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick!

SpongeBob: PATRICK!!! What am I gonna do? My bubble is destroyed.

Patrick: I've got an idea!(He pulls out bubble soap and begins to blow a bubble around SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: There is no time for games, Pat! Now think, SpongeBob! The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands! (He notices the bubble) Patrick, you're a genius! And this one's mobile! (wheels it around a little) Now I can go back to work! (puts on hat)(Squidward's fungus is spreading. Mr. Krabs pulls him into the kitchen.)

===Back at the Krusty Krab===
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Help! {pulls Squidward through the window into the kitchen} Help me flip these patties! We've got growling stomachs out there! (Squidward shakes his head, and gets Ick all over the patties.)

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!

Mr. Krabs: Then would it be too much trouble to ask his high and mightiness to take these patties out to the customers? Oh... If only SpongeBob were here...

Squidward: If SpongeBob were here, we'd be covered in the Ick!(He scratches, oblivious to the fact that he has Ick all over him, too.)

Squidward: Lunch is served! (Gives Ick Patties to a couple.) Eat up, kids. (The kids bite into their Ick kid's meal, and as everyone bites into their food, Squidward scratches all over.} Oh, Why am I so itchy? (He gets some on the wall and sees that he has the fungus, screams and all the customers look at him) SpongeBob gave me the Ick! And I gave it to all you people!!! (An angry mob forms around Squidward.) Stay back, you diseased freaks!

Mr. Krabs: What's all the commotion about?

Fish #1: (With accent) The commotion, my dear crabs, is regarding the hygiene ofthis staff of your eating establishment, which would appear to be inadequate.

Mr. Krabs: Inadequate!?! I'll have you know, the staff of the Krusty Krab take a solemn pledge, to show up every day in a week clean and disease-free. (door opens and Mr. Krabs is awestruck)

SpongeBob: Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob SquarePants, returning for duty, sir.

(All eyes turn to SpongeBob in his bubble, who has swollen up to an enormous green square. He puts on his hat, and squirts green juice inside his bubble. The fish gasp.)

Fish #1: Is that what you consider clean and disease-free, Krabby? I say we ramshack this greasy disease shack! Who's with me?

All: We are!

Mr. Krabs: It wasn't me! It was Squidward! He gave you all the Ick!

Squidward: No! No I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab!!! {everybody growls and screams}

Fish #1: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator!!!(They attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out.)

Gary: Meow.(sees what's happening. Some fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through.)

SpongeBob: Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick!!! No!!!(All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Ick all over the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs starts laughing.)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!

Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob: Gary the snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?(We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs.)

Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured! And he'll clean the Ick off any surface! Even Squid!(Gary sucks the fungus off Squidward, next.)

Peterson: Whoa! Me next!

Fish #3: Where are your manners? It's ladies first!

Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first.

Fish #1: I supercede all of you. For I have an exotic accent!

Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution you'll be happy with. (Later...) Step up to be de-Icked! Only 5 dollars!(The first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him.)

Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty?(The guy whacks him with his hat.)

Fish #1: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. (pulls out money) I'll take two, please.

Mr. Krabs: Alright!(SpongeBob is next. He hands Krabs the money.)

SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Another 5 dollars for another de-Icking!(Gary cleans SpongeBob off.)

SpongeBob: Look, Gar! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottomfeeder a sponge could ever have!

Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work!

(Gary burps loudly.)

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us

2010-11-05T16:38:52Z

98.27.46.255: /* Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Juckreiz]]
{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Waiting|Waiting]]
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|}

Episode Article: [[Fungus Among Us]]

==Characters==

*[[Gary]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[S.W.A.T Team]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
===Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom===
(While SpongeBob sleeps, Gary notices his food bowl is empty. So, he slithers up to the diving board, jumps off, and licks SpongeBob, who giggles and wakes up.)

SpongeBob: Gary! What are you doing!?!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh! You're bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say (rushes to get food) "organic"!

Gary: Meow? *Raspberries*

SpongeBob: There you go, Gary! (Gary sniffs it and rejects the food. He slithers over to a fungus growing on the floor, smiles, and eats some.) Gary! Shame on you! I realize you're a bottomfeeder, but have some manners! You know you're not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!

Gary: (Mocking) Meow, meow, meow...(SpongeBob attempts to clean it, but to no avail.)

===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn't seem to be coming off! (The doorbell rings.) Ooh! Company!!!(He itches his head as he answers the door.)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!!! (gasps)

SpongeBob: Is something wrong, Patrick?

Patrick: SpongeBob! What is that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Patrick: This!(He bends SpongeBob's head over so he can see the fungus on his head.)

SpongeBob: Ow!!! P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?

Patrick: Scratch it like there's no tomorrow!

SpongeBob: Good idea!(He does so.)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: I don't know about this!

SpongeBob: What makes you say that?

Patrick: This.

(He takes out a mirror and shows SpongeBob that the fungus has spread.)

SpongeBob: Ahh!!! It's getting bigger! (swallows) Nothing a little pimple cream can't cure! (He spreads some on.) That's more like it! All better. See, Patrick?

Patrick: Sure do! Well, I gotta go sit in my hole. Catch ya later, pal.

SpongeBob: Bye, Patrick!
===In SpongeBob's Bathroom===
(Patrick leaves, and SpongeBob goes and takes a shower. He lathers the soap into an anchor shape, and when he rinses, the fungus is in an anchor shape.) Ahh... This feels better!
===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: (We now see him doing a crossword.) Let's see. A four-letter word, ooh. Meaning of uncomfortable sensation on the dermis... hmm. (He feels an itch.) ITCH!!! {He starts scratching his head.) Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy, swolling skin rash now and then. Just don't scratch it and it'll go away...eventually. (As he says this, a piece of fungus comes down onto his nose. He flings it onto the wall, but another one grows, so he pushes his nose in.) There! Outta sight, outta mind! Huh? (He sees the fungus on the wall, scoops it up, and tries to throw it away, but it sticks.) I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking! (He puts on gloves from a first aid kit.) Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties... Except maybe this unbearable itchiness! Must... Stop... scratching!!! (scratches)

(Squidward comes in.)

Squidward: SpongeBob, dahhh!!!! (He sees SpongeBob scratching the fungus.) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward!

Squidward: SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?

SpongeBob: All what-y?

Squidward: Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?

SpongeBob: Oh, that! It's nothing really, Squidward... Just a little blemish, that's all!(His nose pops out with the fungus, and Squidward screams. He jumps to the top of the cabinet.)

Squidward: That's no blemish!

SpongeBob: Help... Me!!!

Squidward: Oh, I'll help you, alright!(He takes out a phone.)

===Wall Opening===
S.W.A.T. Fish #1: S.W.A.T. Team. (Gibberish on the other end.) We'll be right over!(The team breaks through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab and slide down ropes from a helicopter.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #2: Hold it right there! Neptune's trident! This is the most severe case of Ick yet.(He tries to touch SpongeBob.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #3: Stop, you fool! (smacks other fish's hand away) Do you wanna get infected? This is a job for the hazmat physician.

Hazmat Physician: Get back! I said, get back! Back I say!(He pushes SpongeBob into a cage, which is promptly lifted by a helicopter.)

SpongeBob: What's going on, Squidward? Help!!!(As the helicopter flies away, a piece of fungus attaches itself to Squidward. Later, at the cash register...)

Squidward: Here's your change, sir.(As he hands him the coins, some fungus gets on the old man. He puts them in his pockets, then readjusts his glasses, which leaves fungus all over his nose.)

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, why thank you very much, young man.

Squidward: What was that? Oh, don't fool yourself, Squidward! That can't be the Ick.(He scratches himself. Meanwhile, we see a SpongeBob completely covered in fungus in a bubble with tubes coming from it.)
===Back at SpongeBob's House===
SpongeBob: Where am I? Whoa!

{Doctors are talking to each other}

SpongeBob: Who are you people? I wanna go home!(We see a scientist walk up.)

Scientist: You are home, SpongeBob. You just have to stay in this bubble until the Ick clears up.

SpongeBob: Where's my snail, Gary?

Scientist: We're taking care of your pet.(We see Gary in a bubble similar to SpongeBob's.)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary? Whoa!(He notices someone scanning him.)

Hazmat: He appears stable, sir.

Scientist: Alright, boys, let's pack it up.

(They leave, and we see SpongeBob's Pineapple, covered in a plastic bag, with police tape and barbed wire around it. It says "Quarantine" on it. Then, we see SpongeBob filter-feeding like in "I Had an Accident". Patrick walks in.)Patrick: Wow! (He bumps into the bubble.) Huh? What is this?(Pokes)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop! Stop! You're gonna pop it!

Patrick: Really? How about if I squeeze it like this? (He squeezes it. SpongeBob gasps.)

Patrick: Or this? (He bites it. SpongeBob gasps again.)

Patrick: Or this? (He digs cleats into it.)

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!!! How many times do I have to tell you? Be careful!!!

Patrick: Sorry. Hey, wanna play a game of pirate wrestling?

SpongeBob: Sure! Let's begin! (They take out hooks and tear up the bubble.) Um... Patrick?

Patrick: I win! I win! I win!

SpongeBob: Patrick?(He starts dancing around and doing the "Worm".)

Patrick: Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick!

SpongeBob: PATRICK!!! What am I gonna do? My bubble is destroyed.

Patrick: I've got an idea!(He pulls out bubble soap and begins to blow a bubble around SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: There is no time for games, Pat! Now think, SpongeBob! The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands! (He notices the bubble) Patrick, you're a genius! And this one's mobile! (wheels it around a little) Now I can go back to work! (puts on hat)(Squidward's fungus is spreading. Mr. Krabs pulls him into the kitchen.)
===Back at the Krusty Krab===
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Help! {pulls Squidward through the window into the kitchen} Help me flip these patties! We've got growling stomachs out there! (Squidward shakes his head, and gets Ick all over the patties.)

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!

Mr. Krabs: Then would it be too much trouble to ask his high and mightiness to take these patties out to the customers? Oh... If only SpongeBob were here...

Squidward: If SpongeBob were here, we'd be covered in the Ick!(He scratches, oblivious to the fact that he has Ick all over him, too.)

Squidward: Lunch is served! (Gives Ick Patties to a couple.) Eat up, kids. (The kids bite into their Ick kid's meal, and as everyone bites into their food, Squidward scratches all over.} Oh, Why am I so itchy? (He gets some on the wall and sees that he has the fungus, screams and all the customers look at him) SpongeBob gave me the Ick! And I gave it to all you people!!! (An angry mob forms around Squidward.) Stay back, you diseased freaks!

Mr. Krabs: What's all the commotion about?

Fish #1: (With accent) The commotion, my dear crabs, is regarding the hygiene ofthis staff of your eating establishment, which would appear to be inadequate.

Mr. Krabs: Inadequate!?! I'll have you know, the staff of the Krusty Krab take a solemn pledge, to show up every day in a week clean and disease-free. (door opens and Mr. Krabs is awestruck)

SpongeBob: Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob SquarePants, returning for duty, sir.

(All eyes turn to SpongeBob in his bubble, who has swollen up to an enormous green square. He puts on his hat, and squirts green juice inside his bubble. The fish gasp.)

Fish #1: Is that what you consider clean and disease-free, Krabby? I say we ramshack this greasy disease shack! Who's with me?

All: We are!

Mr. Krabs: It wasn't me! It was Squidward! He gave you all the Ick!

Squidward: No! No I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab!!! {everybody growls and screams}

Fish #1: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator!!!(They attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out.)

Gary: Meow.(sees what's happening. Some fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through.)

SpongeBob: Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick!!! No!!!(All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Ick all over the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs starts laughing.)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!

Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob: Gary the snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?(We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs.)

Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured! And he'll clean the Ick off any surface! Even Squid!(Gary sucks the fungus off Squidward, next.)

Peterson: Whoa! Me next!

Fish #3: Where are your manners? It's ladies first!

Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first.

Fish #1: I supercede all of you. For I have an exotic accent!

Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution you'll be happy with. (Later...) Step up to be de-Icked! Only 5 dollars!(The first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him.)

Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty?(The guy whacks him with his hat.)

Fish #1: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. (pulls out money) I'll take two, please.

Mr. Krabs: Alright!(SpongeBob is next. He hands Krabs the money.)

SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Another 5 dollars for another de-Icking!(Gary cleans SpongeBob off.)

SpongeBob: Look, Gar! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottomfeeder a sponge could ever have!

Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work!

(Gary burps loudly.)

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us

2010-11-05T16:38:32Z

98.27.46.255: /* Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Juckreiz]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Waiting|Waiting]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Spy Buddies|Spy Buddies]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Fungus Among Us]]

==Characters==

*[[Gary]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[S.W.A.T Team]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
===Inside SpongeBob's Bedroom===
(While SpongeBob sleeps, Gary notices his food bowl is empty. So, he slithers up to the diving board, jumps off, and licks SpongeBob, who giggles and wakes up.)

SpongeBob: Gary! What are you doing!?!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh! You're bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say (rushes to get food) "organic"!

Gary: Meow? *Raspberries*

SpongeBob: There you go, Gary!(Gary sniffs it and rejects the food. He slithers over to a fungus growing on the floor, smiles, and eats some.) Gary! Shame on you! I realize you're a bottomfeeder, but have some manners! You know you're not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!

Gary: (Mocking) Meow, meow, meow...(SpongeBob attempts to clean it, but to no avail.)

===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn't seem to be coming off! (The doorbell rings.) Ooh! Company!!!(He itches his head as he answers the door.)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!!! (gasps)

SpongeBob: Is something wrong, Patrick?

Patrick: SpongeBob! What is that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Patrick: This!(He bends SpongeBob's head over so he can see the fungus on his head.)

SpongeBob: Ow!!! P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?

Patrick: Scratch it like there's no tomorrow!

SpongeBob: Good idea!(He does so.)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: I don't know about this!

SpongeBob: What makes you say that?

Patrick: This.

(He takes out a mirror and shows SpongeBob that the fungus has spread.)

SpongeBob: Ahh!!! It's getting bigger! (swallows) Nothing a little pimple cream can't cure! (He spreads some on.) That's more like it! All better. See, Patrick?

Patrick: Sure do! Well, I gotta go sit in my hole. Catch ya later, pal.

SpongeBob: Bye, Patrick!
===In SpongeBob's Bathroom===
(Patrick leaves, and SpongeBob goes and takes a shower. He lathers the soap into an anchor shape, and when he rinses, the fungus is in an anchor shape.) Ahh... This feels better!
===SpongeBob's Entrance===
SpongeBob: (We now see him doing a crossword.) Let's see. A four-letter word, ooh. Meaning of uncomfortable sensation on the dermis... hmm. (He feels an itch.) ITCH!!! {He starts scratching his head.) Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy, swolling skin rash now and then. Just don't scratch it and it'll go away...eventually. (As he says this, a piece of fungus comes down onto his nose. He flings it onto the wall, but another one grows, so he pushes his nose in.) There! Outta sight, outta mind! Huh? (He sees the fungus on the wall, scoops it up, and tries to throw it away, but it sticks.) I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking! (He puts on gloves from a first aid kit.) Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties... Except maybe this unbearable itchiness! Must... Stop... scratching!!! (scratches)

(Squidward comes in.)

Squidward: SpongeBob, dahhh!!!! (He sees SpongeBob scratching the fungus.) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward!

Squidward: SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?

SpongeBob: All what-y?

Squidward: Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?

SpongeBob: Oh, that! It's nothing really, Squidward... Just a little blemish, that's all!(His nose pops out with the fungus, and Squidward screams. He jumps to the top of the cabinet.)

Squidward: That's no blemish!

SpongeBob: Help... Me!!!

Squidward: Oh, I'll help you, alright!(He takes out a phone.)

===Wall Opening===
S.W.A.T. Fish #1: S.W.A.T. Team. (Gibberish on the other end.) We'll be right over!(The team breaks through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab and slide down ropes from a helicopter.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #2: Hold it right there! Neptune's trident! This is the most severe case of Ick yet.(He tries to touch SpongeBob.)

S.W.A.T. Fish #3: Stop, you fool! (smacks other fish's hand away) Do you wanna get infected? This is a job for the hazmat physician.

Hazmat Physician: Get back! I said, get back! Back I say!(He pushes SpongeBob into a cage, which is promptly lifted by a helicopter.)

SpongeBob: What's going on, Squidward? Help!!!(As the helicopter flies away, a piece of fungus attaches itself to Squidward. Later, at the cash register...)

Squidward: Here's your change, sir.(As he hands him the coins, some fungus gets on the old man. He puts them in his pockets, then readjusts his glasses, which leaves fungus all over his nose.)

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, why thank you very much, young man.

Squidward: What was that? Oh, don't fool yourself, Squidward! That can't be the Ick.(He scratches himself. Meanwhile, we see a SpongeBob completely covered in fungus in a bubble with tubes coming from it.)
===Back at SpongeBob's House===
SpongeBob: Where am I? Whoa!

{Doctors are talking to each other}

SpongeBob: Who are you people? I wanna go home!(We see a scientist walk up.)

Scientist: You are home, SpongeBob. You just have to stay in this bubble until the Ick clears up.

SpongeBob: Where's my snail, Gary?

Scientist: We're taking care of your pet.(We see Gary in a bubble similar to SpongeBob's.)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary? Whoa!(He notices someone scanning him.)

Hazmat: He appears stable, sir.

Scientist: Alright, boys, let's pack it up.

(They leave, and we see SpongeBob's Pineapple, covered in a plastic bag, with police tape and barbed wire around it. It says "Quarantine" on it. Then, we see SpongeBob filter-feeding like in "I Had an Accident". Patrick walks in.)Patrick: Wow! (He bumps into the bubble.) Huh? What is this?(Pokes)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop! Stop! You're gonna pop it!

Patrick: Really? How about if I squeeze it like this? (He squeezes it. SpongeBob gasps.)

Patrick: Or this? (He bites it. SpongeBob gasps again.)

Patrick: Or this? (He digs cleats into it.)

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!!! How many times do I have to tell you? Be careful!!!

Patrick: Sorry. Hey, wanna play a game of pirate wrestling?

SpongeBob: Sure! Let's begin! (They take out hooks and tear up the bubble.) Um... Patrick?

Patrick: I win! I win! I win!

SpongeBob: Patrick?(He starts dancing around and doing the "Worm".)

Patrick: Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick!

SpongeBob: PATRICK!!! What am I gonna do? My bubble is destroyed.

Patrick: I've got an idea!(He pulls out bubble soap and begins to blow a bubble around SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: There is no time for games, Pat! Now think, SpongeBob! The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands! (He notices the bubble) Patrick, you're a genius! And this one's mobile! (wheels it around a little) Now I can go back to work! (puts on hat)(Squidward's fungus is spreading. Mr. Krabs pulls him into the kitchen.)
===Back at the Krusty Krab===
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Help! {pulls Squidward through the window into the kitchen} Help me flip these patties! We've got growling stomachs out there! (Squidward shakes his head, and gets Ick all over the patties.)

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!

Mr. Krabs: Then would it be too much trouble to ask his high and mightiness to take these patties out to the customers? Oh... If only SpongeBob were here...

Squidward: If SpongeBob were here, we'd be covered in the Ick!(He scratches, oblivious to the fact that he has Ick all over him, too.)

Squidward: Lunch is served! (Gives Ick Patties to a couple.) Eat up, kids. (The kids bite into their Ick kid's meal, and as everyone bites into their food, Squidward scratches all over.} Oh, Why am I so itchy? (He gets some on the wall and sees that he has the fungus, screams and all the customers look at him) SpongeBob gave me the Ick! And I gave it to all you people!!! (An angry mob forms around Squidward.) Stay back, you diseased freaks!

Mr. Krabs: What's all the commotion about?

Fish #1: (With accent) The commotion, my dear crabs, is regarding the hygiene ofthis staff of your eating establishment, which would appear to be inadequate.

Mr. Krabs: Inadequate!?! I'll have you know, the staff of the Krusty Krab take a solemn pledge, to show up every day in a week clean and disease-free. (door opens and Mr. Krabs is awestruck)

SpongeBob: Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob SquarePants, returning for duty, sir.

(All eyes turn to SpongeBob in his bubble, who has swollen up to an enormous green square. He puts on his hat, and squirts green juice inside his bubble. The fish gasp.)

Fish #1: Is that what you consider clean and disease-free, Krabby? I say we ramshack this greasy disease shack! Who's with me?

All: We are!

Mr. Krabs: It wasn't me! It was Squidward! He gave you all the Ick!

Squidward: No! No I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab!!! {everybody growls and screams}

Fish #1: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator!!!(They attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out.)

Gary: Meow.(sees what's happening. Some fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through.)

SpongeBob: Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick!!! No!!!(All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Ick all over the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs starts laughing.)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!

Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob: Gary the snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?(We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs.)

Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured! And he'll clean the Ick off any surface! Even Squid!(Gary sucks the fungus off Squidward, next.)

Peterson: Whoa! Me next!

Fish #3: Where are your manners? It's ladies first!

Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first.

Fish #1: I supercede all of you. For I have an exotic accent!

Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution you'll be happy with. (Later...) Step up to be de-Icked! Only 5 dollars!(The first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him.)

Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty?(The guy whacks him with his hat.)

Fish #1: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. (pulls out money) I'll take two, please.

Mr. Krabs: Alright!(SpongeBob is next. He hands Krabs the money.)

SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Another 5 dollars for another de-Icking!(Gary cleans SpongeBob off.)

SpongeBob: Look, Gar! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottomfeeder a sponge could ever have!

Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work!

(Gary burps loudly.)

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