SpongePedia - User contributions [en]

Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II

2008-02-11T18:47:13Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Rückkehr der Superhelden]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Hooky|Hooky]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Your Shoe's Untied|Your Shoe's Untied]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Atomic Flounder]]
*[[Dirty Bubble]]

Narrator: Ah, Saturday morning in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob is watching his favorite Saturday morning show: The Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. Enjoying a bowl of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy Bran Cereal, and wearing the official Mermaidman and Barnacleboy breakfast biters.

TV Announcer: Mermaidman...fleet and forceful. By the power of Neptune aided by his young ward...aided by his young ward... (Barnacleboy comes dalling down with a rope attached to him) ...protecting the sea with feats of strength and agility. (both try to flex their muscles but break their backs)

Mermaidman: To the chiropractor. Away!

TV Announcer: By beating a rogue scattery of villains. Like the sinister slug, the atomic flounder, and the dreaded jumbo shrimp. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy unite! (when rings unite, smoke and sparks show)

Realistic Fish Head: Hey kids, are you ready to hear the winner of the contest?

Spongebob: I'm ready! I'm ready!

Realistic Fish Head: Our winner will receive a special secret collector's item from The Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. (a small card comes down) And the winner is...SpringBoob SquirePin.

Spongebob: Awww. I worked forever on those life-sized krabby patty manikins of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.

Realistic Fish Head:...for these krabby patty manikins of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.

Spongebob: Hey! SpringBoob SquirePin stole my idea!

Realistic Fish Head: (a phone drops and tries to correct the fish) What's that? Oh. It appears I've made a slight error in pronunciation. The real name of the winner is...Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob: (jumps for joy while the pineapple jumps also) Wahoo! Oh, I wonder when my prize will get here. (as he turns around, the prize is already there) My prize! (opens the box as he is crying) Can it be? It is. The Conch Signal. (holds up conch signal) From the Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. (holds up conch signal again) As seen on TV. I wonder if it still works. (leans out the window and tries it but is a very very off key sound)

Mermaidman: The Conch Signal! To the invisible boat mobile! (couch lunges them backwards under the floor)

Barnacleboy: Uhh, Mermaidman?

Mermaidman: Yes, Barnacleboy?

Barnacleboy: We're not in the invisible boat mobile, are we?

Mermaidman: Uhh, nope. (both fall and stand up to search for the boat)

Barnacleboy: I told you making the boat invisible was a stupid idea.

Mermaidman: Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Barnacleboy: It's gotta be around here somewhere? (hits head on back of boat) Ow! Oh, Mermaidman, I think I...

Mermaidman: ...found it! (turns boat on and it burns Barnacleboy) C'mon, get a move on son. We don't have all day. Ignition...on. (pushes a button)

Mermaidman: Throttle...on. (pulls stick shift backwards)

Spongebob: Humph. Maybe the Conch Signal doesn't work anymore.

Gary: Meow.

Mermaidman: Activate torpedo mode. Fire! (head crashes through the wall) Mermaidman...

Barnacleboy:...and Barnacle... (Barnacleboy crashes through the door with his head then the door falls on the ground with BB's head still in it) ...boy.

Spongebob: I can't believe it Gary. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy in our home.

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: Excuse me, I'm...

Mermaidman: (points at spongebob) Oh my Neptune, he's been horribly disfigured. Oh, blast us! We're too late.

Barnacleboy: Ooh, please. He's not disfigured. He's-he's just that sponge kid again.

Mermaidman: Ooh, yeah. Good to see you lad. Say, Barnacleboy, we gotta find out where that Conch Signal came from.

Spongebob: Oh, that was me. I blew the Conch Signal, sir.

Mermaidman: Alright. Where's the danger, son? Bring it on. Bring it on!

Spongebob: Don't worry. There's no danger.

Mermaidman & Barnacleboy: No danger?

Barnacleboy: Look, there has to be danger. you blew the Conch Signal. When you blow the...where'd you get that thing anyway?

Spongebob: I won it in a contest.

Mermaidman & Barnacleboy: Contest?

Mermaidman: They don't tell us anything anymore.

Barnacleboy: Look, Spongy, that ain't no toy.

Mermaidman: That's right. The Conch Signal is an awesome responsibility. We're duty-bound to help whenever it sounds.

Barnacleboy: But you only blow it when there's trouble, or there'll be trouble. You got that?

Spongebob: Yes, sir.

Mermaidman: Good boy.

Barnacleboy: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. They're serving meatloaf today.

Mermaidman: Oh goody.

Spongebob: Don't worry Mermaidman. You won't be hearing from me for just anything. Only for the big emergencies.
(At Shady Retirement Home)

Barnacleboy: (bangs on bathroom door) Will you hurry up in there? And save me some hot water! (conch signal is blown)

Mermaidman: (kicks down the door on top of Barnacleboy then both jump on couch where it lunges them backwards. Later, shown Spongebob lying on the floor) Ohh, youth. Cut down in his prime. (Spongebob moans) Oh, speak to me son.

Spongebob: Help! Can't...open mayonnaise.

Barnacleboy: What? I come down in my underwear to open a jar of mayonnaise?

Spongebob: But...

Barnacleboy: But nothing. We can't go around socializing, we have to be prepared for, uh, emergencies.

Mermaidman: Barnacleboy, think about it, emergencies don't come around as often as they used to.

Barnacleboy: Alright, ok. You can blow The Conch every once in a while. Just give us something to do when we show up.

Spongebob & Mermaidman: Yay! (Back at the retirement home where MM & BB hear the conch signal again)

Mermaidman: Danger! (MM & BB do some plumbing in Spongebob's house. Later they hear the conch signal again and this time they arrange Spongebob's book shelf. Spongebob blows the conch signal over and over and then MM & BB get tired and can't get there fast enough)

Barnacleboy: That's it. Gimme that. (grabs conch signal from Spongebob) You're running us ragged.

Mermaidman: Must...must answer Clarion call.

Barnacleboy: We're exhausted.

Spongebob: I'm sorry, Barnacleboy. I didn't mean it. I just wanted to spend time with you. You're my heroes! (starts to cry)

Barnacleboy: It's too late for that, Mr Contest Winner. I'm gonna destroy this thing with my sulfur vision. (tries using "heat/sulfur" vision to destroy the conch but fails) Well I'll destroy it when I get back to the, uh, Mermalair. Uh, and as for you...

Mermaidman: Barnacleboy, don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain. Besides, I remember another young whimper-snapper, who wanted to be a super-hero. (chuckles)

Barnacleboy: You don't remember breakfast, you old coot.

Mermaidman: Maybe the Conch Signal is too much responsibility. But how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon on patrol.

Barnacleboy: What?

Mermaidman: To the invisible boat mobile.

Spongebob: Ohh...

Spongebob & Mermaidman: Jingle bells, Mermaidman smells, Barnacleboy laid an egg. The invisible boat mobile, lost a wheel...

Spongebob: Hey, can I drive?

Barnacleboy: Drive? What do you know about driving the invisible boat
mobile?

Spongebob: Tons. Like the windshield wipers are right here. (pushes a button)

Barnacleboy: Don't touch that button, it's the... (folds into origami swan) ...origami button.

Mermaidman: When you patrol in the city, you'll always have to be vigilante, on your toes, constantly alert, always expect the unexpected.

Spongebob: Hey! (makes MM & BB jump off the building by scaring them) I got the donuts!

Spongebob & Mermaidman: ...and Barnacleboy laid an egg. Hey-hey!

Mermaidman: Oh, that fellow over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know that he doesn't look like much, but he could go back to crime... (snaps fingers) ...just like that. (laughs)

Atomic Flounder: Help! Help! Help somebody here.

Spongebob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder.

Mermaidman: Stop kid. Stop! Let him go.

Spongebob: But you said he could snap... (snaps fingers) ...just like that.

Atomic Flounder: What? Get off of me. If I weren't retired I'd, I'd... (screams to make lasers come out of his mouth and burns BB's head) ...do that! Out of my way, punk.
(At The Diner)

Spongebob: I can't believe it: I rode in the invisible boat mobile, I met a villain, and I learned to treat third-degree burns. All in one day. So, what are we going to do tomorrow.

Barnacleboy: Uh, uh, say kid, why don't you take this nickel and go see if our theme song in on the jukebox.

Spongebob: Ok. (goes to the jukebox)

Mermaidman: Ya know, for a pain in the neck, he's a pretty nice kid.

Barnacleboy: Let's ditch 'em.

Mermaidman: I'm right behind you.

Spongebob: (looking through the selection of songs) It doesn't seem to be here.

Barnacleboy: Oh, it's there all right.

Mermaidman: Keep looking. Diligence. Diligence.

Spongebob: Aye, aye, sir. (looks again)

Barnacleboy: Dag, nabbit.

Mermaidman: What's the matter?

Barnacleboy: Where did we park the invisible boat mobile.

Spongebob: Aw, that's the 15th time I've looked. (deep voice) But I can't let my heroes down.

Mermaidman: Boat mobile, where are you? (tries to find it) Barnacleboy, I found it. (turns engine on and BB gets burned)

Dirty Bubble: (laughs) Still getting burned off that tail pipe, huh Barnacleboy? (laughs)

Barnacleboy: It's the dirty bubble.

Mermaidman: In all his dirty roundness.

Barnacleboy: Ohh, no!

Spongebob: I found it and it's the special dance mix.

Mermaidman & Barnacleboy: Help! Help! Help!

Spongebob: Holy krabby patties! Mermaidman and Barnacleboy's arch nemesis: The Dirty Bubble. I can't believe it.

Dirty Bubble: (laughs) You cannot save them, Sponge of Mystery. They are trapped by my awesome surface tension.

Spongebob: You don't understand. You're my most favorite super villain. Can I get your autograph? (gets out a pencil and notepad)

Dirty Bubble: Oh, no. Oh, no you fool. Stay back. The point. Ooh, ooh. Watch the point! Ahh! (pops Dirty Bubble with pencil)

Mermaidman: Aha! You saved us son.

Barnacleboy: Yeah, you're a hero.

Spongebob: I am?

Mermaidman: Are you up for another ride in the invisible boat mobile?

All 3:
Oh, Jingle bells
Mermaidman smells
Barnacleboy laid an egg
The Dirty Bubble popped
And Mermaidman and Barnacleboy and Spongebob got away. Haha!
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]
[[Category:Mermaidman & Barnacleboy]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Karate Choppers

2008-02-11T18:45:21Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Karatefieber]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: SB-129|SB-129]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Sleepy Time|Sleepy Time]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Fred]]

Spongebob: (Spongebob is lurking around, heading home, looking for Sandy because they are playing karate. He suspects the pineapple of being Sandy) Hi-yah! Oh, sorry, pineapple house. I thought you were someone else. (walks inside) Ah, what a great day at work. (hears something) Huh? Yeah... (tip toes over to the couch but makes duck sounds as he tip toes. He grabs the ducks that are on the floor and kicks them away. Then he runs in front of his couch) I know you're back there, Sandy! And I also know that nobody can hide from Sponge... (jumps behind the couch and no one is there) ...bob. (has his back to the couch while he squeezes his eyes through the couch looking for Sandy. When he thinks he's spotted her, he runs out from behind the couch and in front of the tv) I got you now! Hi-yah! (no one is there so he sits on the couch and watches TV)

TV:(shows a realistic pink and yellow fish) Yeah, shopping's weird. Did you ever go into the seafood aisle and say 'Who eats this stuff?"' (Spongebob laughs)

Spongebob: I love this show! (Sandy is sitting next to Spongebob)

Sandy: Me too! (Spongebob screams and beings to karate more)

Spongebob: Hi-yah! (Sandy puts on her green karate gear)

Sandy: Hi-yah! (Spongebob high-kicks in slow-motion)

Spongebob: Hi-yah! (Sandy runs off then drives forward but Spongebob jumps his upper half of his body to avoid Sandy) Uhh, just a second. (runs off but returns with his red karate gear on) Safety first! (winks) And now, spin technique! (spins around and lunges towards Sandy)

Sandy: Hi-yah! Yah... (Spongebob grabs her hand and spins her around)

Spongebob: Double overhand squirrel knot! (turns her into a round knot and throws her through the door like a bowling ball)

Sandy: I'm gonna get you tomorrow, Spongebob!

Spongebob: That'll be the day. (spins his arms and legs around. Nighttime at Sandy's treedome when the phone rings)

Sandy: Hello? (Spongebob's arm tries to karate chop Sandy but Sandy takes Spongebob's hand and puts it through the phone to karate chop himself)

Sandy: Nice try, Spongebrain! (hangs up phone. Later, at Barg N Mart, Sandy is shopping when a box of cereal falls. She thinks its Spongebob so she gets in her karate stance) Yah! (notices the box of cereal) Heh, silly me. (But when she walks a few more steps, Spongebob is there in his karate gear)

Spongebob: Hey Sandy, have you ever heard the one about the squirrel and the tin cans?

Sandy: I don't think so.

Spongebob: Well, it goes like this! (stretches his arm to ricochetoff a shelf and the ceiling to come at Sandy. He stops his arm right before hitting Sandy) Oh wait, I forgot the punchline. ( hits the loose board on the floor sending Sandy into a pile of tin cans) That's a good one, isn't it? (later, Spongebob is walking down the road) What a beautiful day. Beautiful sky. Beautiful plants. Hi plants. Beautiful... ( sees a pile of tin cans on the ground so he puts on his karate gear) ...pile of cans? Mmm, Sandy, that is your worst disguise yet.

Sandy: No it's not, Spongebob. (shows him a squirrel mask) This is! (jumps in front of Spongebob) Now, prepare for a long, merciless whooping. (grabs Spongebob's tongue and takes out a bottle of hot suace) Mmmm, my favorite. (Spongebob screams as a drop of hot sauce hangs over the edge of the bottle and a face appears on the drop)

Hot Sauce Drop: By the powers of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, really hot!

Spongebob: Sandy! Wait! Victory is yours.

Sandy: I knew you'd come to your senses, Spongebob. (drinks the bottle of hot sauce. While she is doing this, Spongebob wraps the fake tongue she was holding and around her and spins her)

Spongebob: Yah... (Sandy karate chops Spongebob far away)

Sandy: Hi-yah!

Spongebob: Curses! (at krusty krab where the line is very long)

Customer: With extra cheese. To go!

Squidward: Three patties, four large oyster skins, on the double, Spongebob! (Spongebob is still wearing his karate gear)

Spongebob: Oh yeah... gotcha! (Spongebob opens a door)

Squidward: Spongebob!

Spongebob: What? (karate chops Squidward's face)

Squidward: I'm going to pretend that didn't happen. (throws two pieces of paper at Spongebob) Now fill these orders or leave, Spongebob. We're very busy today! (Spongebob runs out of the kitchen with tray of patties in his hands)

Spongebob: Order up... (stops as he sees a customer karate chopping a fly. The customers turns into Sandy who is in her gear and winks at Spongebob)

Squidward: Spongebob! Now are you gonna... (Spongebob throws the tray backwards at Squidward causing the krabby patties to land on Squidward's head)

Mr Krabs: Oh, Squidward. I was going through some records back in me office and...huh? So, you got the hairpiece after all.

Spongebob: Hi-yah!

Fred: My leg! (under the floor)

Spongebob: Thought you could sneak up on me at work, did ya? Well, you can't! 'Cause I'm fast, I'm mean, and I can do this! (does something with his hands while hissing. Points at Fred then walks backwards) Took care of her, yes I did. (bumps into Mr Krabs) Ohh, ahoy, sir!

Mr Krabs: What was that?

Spongebob: But sir, she snuck up on me. In my own dojo.

Mr Krabs: Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?

Spongebob: No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir. Or kara-ta, as some call it.

Mr Krabs: Kara-ta? You should be making me money-ay! With your spatu-la! Now get back to work.

Spongebob: Aye aye, capi-tay. Nice hairpiece, Squidward. (he walks off. Later, at closing time, Squid is mopping the floor)<br>
Squidward: Spongebob, did you get those bathrooms mopped yet? (Spongebob is staring at his hands)

Spongebob: Yes, ma'am. I mean, sir. I mean, boss. I mean, poobah!

Squidward: Go! (Spongebob walks into the bathroom with a mop and a bucket in hand. He hears a sneeze so he opens a door but nobody is there)

Spongebob: Hah! (opens the next stall door and jumps in it) Sandy! (Mr Krabs walks out of the stall with Spongebob in his hand)

Mr Krabs: No more!

Spongebob: But Mr Krabs... (Mr Krabs grabs a hold of Spongebob's mouth)

Mr Krabs: Shhh. No more of this karate stuff, lad. Or you're fired. (lets go of his mouth and walks away)

Spongebob: Fired? (walks out) No more karate? How am I gonna tell Sandy?

Sandy: Hi-yah! (jumps at Spongebob karate chopping him)

Spongebob: Sandy, wait! I can't. Mr Krabs said I have to give up karate.

Sandy: (stops) Uh-huh. Sure, Spongebob. (Sandy karate chops him again)

Spongebob: No, no. Really, Sandy. Stop. (stops) Sandy: I'm not falling for it, Spongebob! (karate more)

Spongebob: No, really! Please, stop! (Mr Krabs looks out the window)

Mr Krabs: What the...?! (walks outside) Spongebob! (Spongebob screams)

Spongebob: Ahh, Mr Krabs!

Mr Krabs: What did I just get through telling ye, lad?

Spongebob: But...I...uhh...she...

Mr Krabs: Spongebob, you're fired!

Sandy: Huh?

Spongebob: (high-pitched voice) Fired? (faces gets smaller until its not there anymore)

Mr Krabs: Eh?

Sandy: Spongebob? (Spongebob's face reappears and he bursts out crying and runs everywhere) Wait, Mr. Krabs, it's not his fault. It's...it's mine. He tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. (Spongebob is crying into a cup and drinking it. Now he's flipping over and over around Sandy and Mr Krabs) Just give him another chance, please?

Mr Krabs: Hmmm... (grabs Spongebob) Alright, me boy, I'll give you a second chance. But no more karate. It's poisoning your mind. (sniffs Sandy) Mmm, mammals. (walks off)

Sandy: Aww, shoot, Spongebob. I guess you ain't fibbing. Aww, that game was getting old anyway. It's not fun anymore. I mean, what's so fun about... (karate chops Spongebob) ...this?

Spongebob: (laughs then stops) Nothing. Nothing is fun about that at all!

Sandy: We can find something to do that's almost nine times as fun.

Spongebob: We can? I mean, sure we can. Yeah! Like we can, uhh... (picks up a rock) We can squeeze things! (squeezes the rock and drops it) Woo! How much fun was that?

Sandy: Almost some.

Spongebob: I know! We can act like plants. (lies on the ground and opens and closes his legs and arms) Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis.

Sandy: Wanna go to the park? (Spongebob and Sandy at the park. Spongebob is holding a basket in one hand)

Spongebob: Karate sure is dumb.

Sandy: Yeah, you can say that again.

Spongebob: I feel dumb just thinking about it. (puts the basket down) Duh...I'm stupid! I like karate! Doy!

Sandy: You like what?

Spongebob: Not karate.

Sandy: Ha! I don't even know what that is.

Spongebob: Me too. I don't know what anything is! In fact...

Fisherman: (casting off his fishing rod) Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

Spongebob: (giggle) For a second that sounded like...

Sandy: Karate?

Spongebob: Right now? I mean, no! What is this karate? (opens up the basket) Uhh, what do you want on your sandwich?

Sandy: Karate.

Spongebob: What did you say?

Sandy: Uhh, mustard. Mustard! I want mustard on my sandwich. (takes out some mustard) There we go. (Spongebob pulls out some barnacle loaf pulls out a barnacle loaf)

Spongebob: How many slices of barnacle loaf do you want?

Sandy: One. Just one.

Spongebob: One for you! (karate chops a slice off)

Sandy: Hmmm?

Spongebob: And one for me! (chops off another slice in slow-motion)

Sandy: Ohh, uhh, Spongebob? Maybe just one more. Uhh, I'm kinda hungry. (brings out the barnacle loaf again)

Spongebob: Sure thing, Sandy. (lifts upu his hand)

Sandy: Spongebob?

Spongebob: Yeah?

Sandy: Do you think, umm...do you think I could cut this one?

Spongebob: Uhh, sure.

Sandy: Thanks. Hi-yah! (chops one slice) Is that enough?

Spongebob: Maybe just one more. Or two!

Sandy: Or three!

Spongebob: Or ten!

Sandy: Yes, ten! Because we're REALLY hungry!

Spongebob: Right!

Sandy: Right!

Spongebob: Right!

Sandy: Right! (chops off more slices and they fly everywhere)

Spongebob: Time for buns! (throws a bunch of buns in the air and chops them in half)

Sandy: How about some tomatoes?

Spongebob: And I'll cut the cheese! (both throw the cheese and tomatoes in the air while chopping them into a bunch of slices that land on the patties)

Sandy: And, what else should we slice? (Spongebob grabs more buns)

Spongebob: More buns! (Sandy grabs two heads of lettuce)

Sandy: And lettuce!

Both: Yeah! (both slice up more food to complete their krabby patties. When they are done, the entire place is chopped in half. Sandy is slicing wood in half while Spongebob is resting on a rock)

Spongebob: Phew. Making sandwiches sure is fun. Right, Sandy? (Sandy has a dazed look on her face) Right? I guess I'll eat one now. (reaches for a patty but Sandy karate chops his arm with her green foam hand)

Sandy: You missed meat!

Spongebob: (in his red karate gear) In your dreams! Hi-yah! (both start to karate chop each other. Mr Krabs is walking through the park)

Mr Krabs: Huh? What the barnacle? (the whole park is chopped in half)

Spongebob: Do you think Mr Krabs ever does karate? (Mr KRabs clears his throat to get Spongebob to scream) Mr Krabs! (tries to hold a tree back in one piece) Uhh, hey Mr Krabs, how's it going? (holds the rock in one piece) Nice day, huh? ( half of the tree falls on Spongebob's head) Oh, alright, Mr Krabs. You caught me. But you know what? I just can't help myself. You're just gonna have to fire me.

Mr Krabs: Fire you? (grabs a couple krabby patties) I've got something else in mind. (at the krusty krab, Spongebob & Sandy are karate chopping up krabby patties for the customers. Sandy is chopping up the meat and Spongebob is chopping up the mustard)

Sandy: I love karate!

Spongebob: I love kara-tay!

Mr Krabs: I love money-a!

Squidward: I hate all of you.
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{slogan}}

Episode Transcript: The Paper

2008-02-11T18:43:51Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Ein kleines Stück Papier]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Valentine's Day|Valentine's Day]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Arrgh!|Arrgh!]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Gary]]

Squidward: (walks out and sits on his lawn chair) Ah, time to relax. (takes out some gum and puts it in his mouth. Throws the gum wrapper away in front of Spongebob's house. Spongebob's pineapple moves forward closer to the wrapper and he opens the door)

Spongebob: (gasps) Squidward!

Squidward: (spits out gum) Well, time to go. (folds up the lawn chair and walks to his front door but Spongebob stops him)

Spongebob: Squidward! Squidward, wait!

Squidward: Now what?

Spongebob: You dropped this little piece of paper.

Squidward: Yeah, so what?

Spongebob: I just figured you probably want it back.

Squidward: What’s the big deal? It’s only garbage?

Spongebob: Garbage? But, Squidward, in the right hands, this paper is a gold mine of entertainment. A spectacular afternoon of underwater fun. A treasure trove of...

Squidward: ...garbage. (walks inside his house)

Spongebob: So you don’t want it?

Squidward: Right! (closes door)

Spongebob: Does that mean I can have it?

Squidward: Yes, by all means, take it. (phone rings. Picks it up) Hello?

Spongebob: You sure?

Squidward: Yes! For the final time, I don’t want that paper. It’s yours forever and ever! (hangs up and sighs. Spongebob appears from under the table where the phone is. Squidward screams)

Spongebob: Are you definitely, positively sure?

Squidward: Get out!

Spongebob: But are you...

Squidward: Get out! (pushes Spongebob out)

Spongebob: Last chance to change your mind, Squidward.

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don’t give that paper back to me...ever!

Spongebob: So, I take that as a possible no? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? (Squidward closes the door) Ok, Squidward, that’s a promise I’ll just have to keep. Ah, Mr Paper, I am so lucky to have a friend like Squidward.

Squidward: (walking up to his clarinet) Spongebob... (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward tries to play his clarinet but Squidward gets annoyed by Spongebob's laughter so he peeks out the window) What in the world are you giggling about?

Spongebob: I’m sorry, Squidward, it’s just... (giggles) ...it’s just that I’m thinking of all the fun I’m going to have with this piece of paper! (Squidward walks back and picks up his clarinet)

Squidward: How can anyone have fun with just a piece of paper? (Squidward plays his clarinet but has to stop due to Spongebob's laughter continuing) Ohh...what can he possibly be doing with that paper?! (peeks out his window and Spongebob is running around with the piece of paper high, above his head)

Spongebob: La, la, la, la, la. Gary, watch this! (twists his lower part of his body around and puts the piece of paper in it so it hangs out. Turns his lower body around) Guess what I am.

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: Well, yes, Gary, I am a sponge with paper stuck in his pants, but I’m also... (deep voice) Super Sponge: soaking up crime. See, here’s my cape. (blows on the piece of paper to make it look like a cape in the wind)

Squidward: Super-moron’s more like it.

Spongebob: Now I’m... (jumps into the air and stands on his pineapple with no clothes on but the piece of paper in the middle of lower half of his body) Spongebob Junglepants! (does Tarzan impression)

Squidward: Oh, boy.

Spongebob: Ugh. Spongebob Junglepants summon animal friends. (he roars like a lion, makes bird calls, makes a raspberry, makes horn noises, dolphin noises and seal noises)

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: You’re right Gary. I’m not a jungle boy. I’m a box of army supplies. (jumps off his pineapple with his clothes on) Bringing relief to the hungry troops! (has the paper act as a parachute and floats down to the ground. We see Squidward watching from a safe distance) Landing just in time for the bullfight! (he waves the paper in front of Gary) Toro, toro, Gary! Toro, toro! Toro, Gary, toro... (pushes Gary across with his foot) Hey, ole! Now for some impressions. A guy with a moustache. (pust the piece of paper where a mustache would be) Look at me, I’m a guy with a moustache. A pirate with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I’m a pirate. A regular guy with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I am not a pirate.

Squidward: Do a big yellow idiot with a stupid piece of paper. (Spongebob is rolling the piece of paper on the top of his head. Then he sucks in the paper through one of his holes. Blows it in and out of his holes) How did he do that?

Spongebob: Look, Gary, oralgami. (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out with a bird shape for the paper)

Kids: Bird! Yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a snowflake) Snowflake, yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a doll) Paper doll, yay!

Squidward: Hey, that little paper does seem like fun. (puts his hand over his mouth) What am I saying?! I am such an idiot. (laughs) Spongebob, honestly, and his dumb paper. He calls that fun? (opens up a magazine and starts reading it) Now, reading ‘Boring Science Digest,’ that’s fun. (laughs at what the magazine says inside) Erosion. (laughs) Mitosis. (Spongebob laughs. Later, Squidward is bathing) See, I can have fun taking a bath. (the paper comes flying through the window as an airplane and flies around Squidward a couple times. Then shoots the rubber duck and flies back out the window. The rubber duck sinks under the water. Later, Squidward is painting) Painting fruit, there’s nothing more fun than painting fruit. This is more fun than anything. (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward paints but he paints himself with the piece of paper over his nose. When he notices this, he tears up his painting) I'll prove to him that paper is not fun! (runs outside and whistles while playing paddleball) I’m having fun, la-la-la...

Spongebob: (bouncing the piece of paper off his nose like it was a paddleball) Isn’t this great? La-la-la-la-la... (Spongebob jumps up and down) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: Hey, Spongebob, top this one. (takes out a centriloquist doll that looks exactly like him) Hey, little Squidward, what’s gray and ugly and has six arms?

Little Squidward: I don’t know, but have you looked in the mirror lately?

Squidward: What did you... (Spongebob laughs)

Spongebob: Oh, that’s a good one, Squidward, now let me try. (folds the paper in half) Have you heard any good jokes, Mr Paper?

Paper: What happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Spongebob: I don’t know, what happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Paper: It was all washed up! (a bunch of people come up and laugh with Spongebob then leave. Squidward runs off)

Spongebob: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: (riding a shell mobile) Haha, I’m having so much fun with my new shell-cart. Ah-haha. Hey, Spongebob, can your stupid paper do this? (Spongebob comes down with the paper acting as a helicopter)

Spongebob: Nope. (flies away while Squidward drives his shell-cart through the side of his house. Then he comes uot with his clarinet)

Squidward: Well, you can’t play music with a piece of paper! (plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet)

Spongebob: (applauding) Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward. All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

Squidward: What? I didn’t play any wrong notes. (plays the song off-key again)

Spongebob: Yeah, see, you’re playing it like this... (plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out) ...when ordinarily it goes like this... (plays the song on-key) I’m partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. (plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears) Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

Squidward: (grabs the paper but Spongebob holds onto it) Give me my paper back! Now let go of it. I said let go of it! (Spongebob still holding on to it) Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go... (jumps up and down)

Spongebob: I can’t!

Squidward: What do you mean you can’t? (Spongebob moves Squidward's hand off the piece of paper)

Spongebob: I can’t! You made me promise no matter how much you begged, and pleaded, and cried not to give the paper back to you ever.

Squidward: I never said anything like that!

Spongebob: Sure you did, Squidward, look. (folds the paper a few times to make it look like a flip-book to what Squidward said earlier in the day)

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg and plead and cry, don’t give that paper back to me… ever!

Spongebob: Wanna see it again?

Squidward: No, I don’t wanna see it again! Just give me that paper.

Spongebob: Sorry, Squidward, I am sworn to a promise. (walks off) Maybe I should get going.

Squidward: Wait, wait, maybe we can trade for something. (looks around for something to trade) Yeah-yeah, something, something... (reaches in his pocket and takes out something) A-ha, wait up, Spongebob! Wait! Hold on there, chum. (chuckles) I’m going to make you an offer. (Spongebob looks to see what he has)

Spongebob: Wow, pocket lint! (shows link and rubberband in Squidward's hand) You drive a hard bargain, Squidward. Paper for lint, hmmm...

Squidward: Not the lint, the rubber band!

Spongebob: The rubber band? Do I dare?

Squidward: Oh, dare, dare!

Spongebob: (begins to reach for it) Ok... (stops) Oh, I get it. You’re just testing me. Don’t worry, Squidward, I won’t let you down. A promise is a promise.

Squidward: Listen, you! (puts his nose against Spongebob's nose) You are not going anywhere until we strike a deal. (later, Squidward is bringing a TV over to Spongebob's side in a wheelbarrow) Gotta get that paper. (walks back to get more)

Spongebob: Squidward? (keeps walking back and forth with more stuff)

Squidward: Trade... (walks back)

Spongebob: Hey, listen.... (Squidward brings his house over)

Squidward: Everything must go! Well, that’s the last of it. (all of Squidward's possessions are beside Spongebob) I’ve given you everything but the shirt off my back. (Spongebob looks at the paper)

Spongebob: Oh, Squidward, is this still part of the test? Because it’s...it’s really getting harder and harder to keep my promise.

Squidward: Ok, the shirt! (takes his short off) Take it! Take my shirt!

Spongebob: Squidward’s shirt. I’ve always loved that shirt. Ok, ok, I’ll trade! (puts the shirt on) I can break a promise for this. Squidward, do you want your other stuff, cause this is all I’ll need?

Squidward: You can have all that junk, ‘cause now I’ve got this! I’ve got the paper, and you’ve got my useless garbage. (puts the paper on his butt and waves it at Spongebob) I got it! Haha and you can’t have it. (runs around Spongebob) I got it, you’re a sucker. You’re a sucker, sucker. (laughs) At last, what should we try first, Mr Paper? Impressions! A guy with a piece of paper on his nose. (puts the paper on his nose) Look at me! I’m a guy with a piece of paper...on his...nose. Hmmm. A-ha! Wait, wait, wait, wait... (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out revealing a wadded up piece of paper that is wet) Tada!

Kids: Boo! (Squidward dries off the piece of paper)

Squidward: Ok, ok, uhh, helicopter! (puts the piece of paper on his fingers) Gentlemen, start your engines. I’m flying! Oh yeah, I’m flying! I’m flying! That’s right, that’s right, here we go now. (bends up and down trying to fly) I’m flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying... (sighs) ...flying. (Spongebob is looking at himself in the mirror with Squidward's shirt still on him while Gary is playing his clarinet) Wait, more impressions. A guy throwing a piece of paper on the ground! (trhwos it on the ground) A guy stomping on the piece of paper (stomps on the paper then picks it up) I’m a guy who traded everything he owns for a...

Patrick: (walks up to Squidward chewing gum) ...a worthless piece of paper. (Patrick grabs the paper) Hey, thanks, it’s just what I needed, Squidward. (blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can Nice shirt, Spongebob. (laughs)

Squidward: Anybody have any sunscreen?
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: The Paper

2008-02-11T18:42:47Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Ein klenes Stück Papier]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Valentine's Day|Valentine's Day]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Arrgh!|Arrgh!]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Gary]]

Squidward: (walks out and sits on his lawn chair) Ah, time to relax. (takes out some gum and puts it in his mouth. Throws the gum wrapper away in front of Spongebob's house. Spongebob's pineapple moves forward closer to the wrapper and he opens the door)

Spongebob: (gasps) Squidward!

Squidward: (spits out gum) Well, time to go. (folds up the lawn chair and walks to his front door but Spongebob stops him)

Spongebob: Squidward! Squidward, wait!

Squidward: Now what?

Spongebob: You dropped this little piece of paper.

Squidward: Yeah, so what?

Spongebob: I just figured you probably want it back.

Squidward: What’s the big deal? It’s only garbage?

Spongebob: Garbage? But, Squidward, in the right hands, this paper is a gold mine of entertainment. A spectacular afternoon of underwater fun. A treasure trove of...

Squidward: ...garbage. (walks inside his house)

Spongebob: So you don’t want it?

Squidward: Right! (closes door)

Spongebob: Does that mean I can have it?

Squidward: Yes, by all means, take it. (phone rings. Picks it up) Hello?

Spongebob: You sure?

Squidward: Yes! For the final time, I don’t want that paper. It’s yours forever and ever! (hangs up and sighs. Spongebob appears from under the table where the phone is. Squidward screams)

Spongebob: Are you definitely, positively sure?

Squidward: Get out!

Spongebob: But are you...

Squidward: Get out! (pushes Spongebob out)

Spongebob: Last chance to change your mind, Squidward.

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don’t give that paper back to me...ever!

Spongebob: So, I take that as a possible no? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? (Squidward closes the door) Ok, Squidward, that’s a promise I’ll just have to keep. Ah, Mr Paper, I am so lucky to have a friend like Squidward.

Squidward: (walking up to his clarinet) Spongebob... (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward tries to play his clarinet but Squidward gets annoyed by Spongebob's laughter so he peeks out the window) What in the world are you giggling about?

Spongebob: I’m sorry, Squidward, it’s just... (giggles) ...it’s just that I’m thinking of all the fun I’m going to have with this piece of paper! (Squidward walks back and picks up his clarinet)

Squidward: How can anyone have fun with just a piece of paper? (Squidward plays his clarinet but has to stop due to Spongebob's laughter continuing) Ohh...what can he possibly be doing with that paper?! (peeks out his window and Spongebob is running around with the piece of paper high, above his head)

Spongebob: La, la, la, la, la. Gary, watch this! (twists his lower part of his body around and puts the piece of paper in it so it hangs out. Turns his lower body around) Guess what I am.

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: Well, yes, Gary, I am a sponge with paper stuck in his pants, but I’m also... (deep voice) Super Sponge: soaking up crime. See, here’s my cape. (blows on the piece of paper to make it look like a cape in the wind)

Squidward: Super-moron’s more like it.

Spongebob: Now I’m... (jumps into the air and stands on his pineapple with no clothes on but the piece of paper in the middle of lower half of his body) Spongebob Junglepants! (does Tarzan impression)

Squidward: Oh, boy.

Spongebob: Ugh. Spongebob Junglepants summon animal friends. (he roars like a lion, makes bird calls, makes a raspberry, makes horn noises, dolphin noises and seal noises)

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: You’re right Gary. I’m not a jungle boy. I’m a box of army supplies. (jumps off his pineapple with his clothes on) Bringing relief to the hungry troops! (has the paper act as a parachute and floats down to the ground. We see Squidward watching from a safe distance) Landing just in time for the bullfight! (he waves the paper in front of Gary) Toro, toro, Gary! Toro, toro! Toro, Gary, toro... (pushes Gary across with his foot) Hey, ole! Now for some impressions. A guy with a moustache. (pust the piece of paper where a mustache would be) Look at me, I’m a guy with a moustache. A pirate with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I’m a pirate. A regular guy with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I am not a pirate.

Squidward: Do a big yellow idiot with a stupid piece of paper. (Spongebob is rolling the piece of paper on the top of his head. Then he sucks in the paper through one of his holes. Blows it in and out of his holes) How did he do that?

Spongebob: Look, Gary, oralgami. (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out with a bird shape for the paper)

Kids: Bird! Yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a snowflake) Snowflake, yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a doll) Paper doll, yay!

Squidward: Hey, that little paper does seem like fun. (puts his hand over his mouth) What am I saying?! I am such an idiot. (laughs) Spongebob, honestly, and his dumb paper. He calls that fun? (opens up a magazine and starts reading it) Now, reading ‘Boring Science Digest,’ that’s fun. (laughs at what the magazine says inside) Erosion. (laughs) Mitosis. (Spongebob laughs. Later, Squidward is bathing) See, I can have fun taking a bath. (the paper comes flying through the window as an airplane and flies around Squidward a couple times. Then shoots the rubber duck and flies back out the window. The rubber duck sinks under the water. Later, Squidward is painting) Painting fruit, there’s nothing more fun than painting fruit. This is more fun than anything. (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward paints but he paints himself with the piece of paper over his nose. When he notices this, he tears up his painting) I'll prove to him that paper is not fun! (runs outside and whistles while playing paddleball) I’m having fun, la-la-la...

Spongebob: (bouncing the piece of paper off his nose like it was a paddleball) Isn’t this great? La-la-la-la-la... (Spongebob jumps up and down) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: Hey, Spongebob, top this one. (takes out a centriloquist doll that looks exactly like him) Hey, little Squidward, what’s gray and ugly and has six arms?

Little Squidward: I don’t know, but have you looked in the mirror lately?

Squidward: What did you... (Spongebob laughs)

Spongebob: Oh, that’s a good one, Squidward, now let me try. (folds the paper in half) Have you heard any good jokes, Mr Paper?

Paper: What happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Spongebob: I don’t know, what happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Paper: It was all washed up! (a bunch of people come up and laugh with Spongebob then leave. Squidward runs off)

Spongebob: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: (riding a shell mobile) Haha, I’m having so much fun with my new shell-cart. Ah-haha. Hey, Spongebob, can your stupid paper do this? (Spongebob comes down with the paper acting as a helicopter)

Spongebob: Nope. (flies away while Squidward drives his shell-cart through the side of his house. Then he comes uot with his clarinet)

Squidward: Well, you can’t play music with a piece of paper! (plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet)

Spongebob: (applauding) Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward. All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

Squidward: What? I didn’t play any wrong notes. (plays the song off-key again)

Spongebob: Yeah, see, you’re playing it like this... (plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out) ...when ordinarily it goes like this... (plays the song on-key) I’m partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. (plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears) Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

Squidward: (grabs the paper but Spongebob holds onto it) Give me my paper back! Now let go of it. I said let go of it! (Spongebob still holding on to it) Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go... (jumps up and down)

Spongebob: I can’t!

Squidward: What do you mean you can’t? (Spongebob moves Squidward's hand off the piece of paper)

Spongebob: I can’t! You made me promise no matter how much you begged, and pleaded, and cried not to give the paper back to you ever.

Squidward: I never said anything like that!

Spongebob: Sure you did, Squidward, look. (folds the paper a few times to make it look like a flip-book to what Squidward said earlier in the day)

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg and plead and cry, don’t give that paper back to me… ever!

Spongebob: Wanna see it again?

Squidward: No, I don’t wanna see it again! Just give me that paper.

Spongebob: Sorry, Squidward, I am sworn to a promise. (walks off) Maybe I should get going.

Squidward: Wait, wait, maybe we can trade for something. (looks around for something to trade) Yeah-yeah, something, something... (reaches in his pocket and takes out something) A-ha, wait up, Spongebob! Wait! Hold on there, chum. (chuckles) I’m going to make you an offer. (Spongebob looks to see what he has)

Spongebob: Wow, pocket lint! (shows link and rubberband in Squidward's hand) You drive a hard bargain, Squidward. Paper for lint, hmmm...

Squidward: Not the lint, the rubber band!

Spongebob: The rubber band? Do I dare?

Squidward: Oh, dare, dare!

Spongebob: (begins to reach for it) Ok... (stops) Oh, I get it. You’re just testing me. Don’t worry, Squidward, I won’t let you down. A promise is a promise.

Squidward: Listen, you! (puts his nose against Spongebob's nose) You are not going anywhere until we strike a deal. (later, Squidward is bringing a TV over to Spongebob's side in a wheelbarrow) Gotta get that paper. (walks back to get more)

Spongebob: Squidward? (keeps walking back and forth with more stuff)

Squidward: Trade... (walks back)

Spongebob: Hey, listen.... (Squidward brings his house over)

Squidward: Everything must go! Well, that’s the last of it. (all of Squidward's possessions are beside Spongebob) I’ve given you everything but the shirt off my back. (Spongebob looks at the paper)

Spongebob: Oh, Squidward, is this still part of the test? Because it’s...it’s really getting harder and harder to keep my promise.

Squidward: Ok, the shirt! (takes his short off) Take it! Take my shirt!

Spongebob: Squidward’s shirt. I’ve always loved that shirt. Ok, ok, I’ll trade! (puts the shirt on) I can break a promise for this. Squidward, do you want your other stuff, cause this is all I’ll need?

Squidward: You can have all that junk, ‘cause now I’ve got this! I’ve got the paper, and you’ve got my useless garbage. (puts the paper on his butt and waves it at Spongebob) I got it! Haha and you can’t have it. (runs around Spongebob) I got it, you’re a sucker. You’re a sucker, sucker. (laughs) At last, what should we try first, Mr Paper? Impressions! A guy with a piece of paper on his nose. (puts the paper on his nose) Look at me! I’m a guy with a piece of paper...on his...nose. Hmmm. A-ha! Wait, wait, wait, wait... (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out revealing a wadded up piece of paper that is wet) Tada!

Kids: Boo! (Squidward dries off the piece of paper)

Squidward: Ok, ok, uhh, helicopter! (puts the piece of paper on his fingers) Gentlemen, start your engines. I’m flying! Oh yeah, I’m flying! I’m flying! That’s right, that’s right, here we go now. (bends up and down trying to fly) I’m flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying... (sighs) ...flying. (Spongebob is looking at himself in the mirror with Squidward's shirt still on him while Gary is playing his clarinet) Wait, more impressions. A guy throwing a piece of paper on the ground! (trhwos it on the ground) A guy stomping on the piece of paper (stomps on the paper then picks it up) I’m a guy who traded everything he owns for a...

Patrick: (walks up to Squidward chewing gum) ...a worthless piece of paper. (Patrick grabs the paper) Hey, thanks, it’s just what I needed, Squidward. (blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can Nice shirt, Spongebob. (laughs)

Squidward: Anybody have any sunscreen?
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: The Paper

2008-02-11T18:42:30Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Ein klenes Stück Papier
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Valentine's Day|Valentine's Day]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Arrgh!|Arrgh!]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Gary]]

Squidward: (walks out and sits on his lawn chair) Ah, time to relax. (takes out some gum and puts it in his mouth. Throws the gum wrapper away in front of Spongebob's house. Spongebob's pineapple moves forward closer to the wrapper and he opens the door)

Spongebob: (gasps) Squidward!

Squidward: (spits out gum) Well, time to go. (folds up the lawn chair and walks to his front door but Spongebob stops him)

Spongebob: Squidward! Squidward, wait!

Squidward: Now what?

Spongebob: You dropped this little piece of paper.

Squidward: Yeah, so what?

Spongebob: I just figured you probably want it back.

Squidward: What’s the big deal? It’s only garbage?

Spongebob: Garbage? But, Squidward, in the right hands, this paper is a gold mine of entertainment. A spectacular afternoon of underwater fun. A treasure trove of...

Squidward: ...garbage. (walks inside his house)

Spongebob: So you don’t want it?

Squidward: Right! (closes door)

Spongebob: Does that mean I can have it?

Squidward: Yes, by all means, take it. (phone rings. Picks it up) Hello?

Spongebob: You sure?

Squidward: Yes! For the final time, I don’t want that paper. It’s yours forever and ever! (hangs up and sighs. Spongebob appears from under the table where the phone is. Squidward screams)

Spongebob: Are you definitely, positively sure?

Squidward: Get out!

Spongebob: But are you...

Squidward: Get out! (pushes Spongebob out)

Spongebob: Last chance to change your mind, Squidward.

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don’t give that paper back to me...ever!

Spongebob: So, I take that as a possible no? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? (Squidward closes the door) Ok, Squidward, that’s a promise I’ll just have to keep. Ah, Mr Paper, I am so lucky to have a friend like Squidward.

Squidward: (walking up to his clarinet) Spongebob... (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward tries to play his clarinet but Squidward gets annoyed by Spongebob's laughter so he peeks out the window) What in the world are you giggling about?

Spongebob: I’m sorry, Squidward, it’s just... (giggles) ...it’s just that I’m thinking of all the fun I’m going to have with this piece of paper! (Squidward walks back and picks up his clarinet)

Squidward: How can anyone have fun with just a piece of paper? (Squidward plays his clarinet but has to stop due to Spongebob's laughter continuing) Ohh...what can he possibly be doing with that paper?! (peeks out his window and Spongebob is running around with the piece of paper high, above his head)

Spongebob: La, la, la, la, la. Gary, watch this! (twists his lower part of his body around and puts the piece of paper in it so it hangs out. Turns his lower body around) Guess what I am.

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: Well, yes, Gary, I am a sponge with paper stuck in his pants, but I’m also... (deep voice) Super Sponge: soaking up crime. See, here’s my cape. (blows on the piece of paper to make it look like a cape in the wind)

Squidward: Super-moron’s more like it.

Spongebob: Now I’m... (jumps into the air and stands on his pineapple with no clothes on but the piece of paper in the middle of lower half of his body) Spongebob Junglepants! (does Tarzan impression)

Squidward: Oh, boy.

Spongebob: Ugh. Spongebob Junglepants summon animal friends. (he roars like a lion, makes bird calls, makes a raspberry, makes horn noises, dolphin noises and seal noises)

Gary: Meow.

Spongebob: You’re right Gary. I’m not a jungle boy. I’m a box of army supplies. (jumps off his pineapple with his clothes on) Bringing relief to the hungry troops! (has the paper act as a parachute and floats down to the ground. We see Squidward watching from a safe distance) Landing just in time for the bullfight! (he waves the paper in front of Gary) Toro, toro, Gary! Toro, toro! Toro, Gary, toro... (pushes Gary across with his foot) Hey, ole! Now for some impressions. A guy with a moustache. (pust the piece of paper where a mustache would be) Look at me, I’m a guy with a moustache. A pirate with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I’m a pirate. A regular guy with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I am not a pirate.

Squidward: Do a big yellow idiot with a stupid piece of paper. (Spongebob is rolling the piece of paper on the top of his head. Then he sucks in the paper through one of his holes. Blows it in and out of his holes) How did he do that?

Spongebob: Look, Gary, oralgami. (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out with a bird shape for the paper)

Kids: Bird! Yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a snowflake) Snowflake, yay! (Spongebob does it again and comes out as a doll) Paper doll, yay!

Squidward: Hey, that little paper does seem like fun. (puts his hand over his mouth) What am I saying?! I am such an idiot. (laughs) Spongebob, honestly, and his dumb paper. He calls that fun? (opens up a magazine and starts reading it) Now, reading ‘Boring Science Digest,’ that’s fun. (laughs at what the magazine says inside) Erosion. (laughs) Mitosis. (Spongebob laughs. Later, Squidward is bathing) See, I can have fun taking a bath. (the paper comes flying through the window as an airplane and flies around Squidward a couple times. Then shoots the rubber duck and flies back out the window. The rubber duck sinks under the water. Later, Squidward is painting) Painting fruit, there’s nothing more fun than painting fruit. This is more fun than anything. (Spongebob is laughing outside. Squidward paints but he paints himself with the piece of paper over his nose. When he notices this, he tears up his painting) I'll prove to him that paper is not fun! (runs outside and whistles while playing paddleball) I’m having fun, la-la-la...

Spongebob: (bouncing the piece of paper off his nose like it was a paddleball) Isn’t this great? La-la-la-la-la... (Spongebob jumps up and down) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: Hey, Spongebob, top this one. (takes out a centriloquist doll that looks exactly like him) Hey, little Squidward, what’s gray and ugly and has six arms?

Little Squidward: I don’t know, but have you looked in the mirror lately?

Squidward: What did you... (Spongebob laughs)

Spongebob: Oh, that’s a good one, Squidward, now let me try. (folds the paper in half) Have you heard any good jokes, Mr Paper?

Paper: What happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Spongebob: I don’t know, what happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

Paper: It was all washed up! (a bunch of people come up and laugh with Spongebob then leave. Squidward runs off)

Spongebob: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Squidward: (riding a shell mobile) Haha, I’m having so much fun with my new shell-cart. Ah-haha. Hey, Spongebob, can your stupid paper do this? (Spongebob comes down with the paper acting as a helicopter)

Spongebob: Nope. (flies away while Squidward drives his shell-cart through the side of his house. Then he comes uot with his clarinet)

Squidward: Well, you can’t play music with a piece of paper! (plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet)

Spongebob: (applauding) Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward. All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

Squidward: What? I didn’t play any wrong notes. (plays the song off-key again)

Spongebob: Yeah, see, you’re playing it like this... (plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out) ...when ordinarily it goes like this... (plays the song on-key) I’m partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. (plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears) Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

Squidward: (grabs the paper but Spongebob holds onto it) Give me my paper back! Now let go of it. I said let go of it! (Spongebob still holding on to it) Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go... (jumps up and down)

Spongebob: I can’t!

Squidward: What do you mean you can’t? (Spongebob moves Squidward's hand off the piece of paper)

Spongebob: I can’t! You made me promise no matter how much you begged, and pleaded, and cried not to give the paper back to you ever.

Squidward: I never said anything like that!

Spongebob: Sure you did, Squidward, look. (folds the paper a few times to make it look like a flip-book to what Squidward said earlier in the day)

Squidward: Take it, Spongebob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg and plead and cry, don’t give that paper back to me… ever!

Spongebob: Wanna see it again?

Squidward: No, I don’t wanna see it again! Just give me that paper.

Spongebob: Sorry, Squidward, I am sworn to a promise. (walks off) Maybe I should get going.

Squidward: Wait, wait, maybe we can trade for something. (looks around for something to trade) Yeah-yeah, something, something... (reaches in his pocket and takes out something) A-ha, wait up, Spongebob! Wait! Hold on there, chum. (chuckles) I’m going to make you an offer. (Spongebob looks to see what he has)

Spongebob: Wow, pocket lint! (shows link and rubberband in Squidward's hand) You drive a hard bargain, Squidward. Paper for lint, hmmm...

Squidward: Not the lint, the rubber band!

Spongebob: The rubber band? Do I dare?

Squidward: Oh, dare, dare!

Spongebob: (begins to reach for it) Ok... (stops) Oh, I get it. You’re just testing me. Don’t worry, Squidward, I won’t let you down. A promise is a promise.

Squidward: Listen, you! (puts his nose against Spongebob's nose) You are not going anywhere until we strike a deal. (later, Squidward is bringing a TV over to Spongebob's side in a wheelbarrow) Gotta get that paper. (walks back to get more)

Spongebob: Squidward? (keeps walking back and forth with more stuff)

Squidward: Trade... (walks back)

Spongebob: Hey, listen.... (Squidward brings his house over)

Squidward: Everything must go! Well, that’s the last of it. (all of Squidward's possessions are beside Spongebob) I’ve given you everything but the shirt off my back. (Spongebob looks at the paper)

Spongebob: Oh, Squidward, is this still part of the test? Because it’s...it’s really getting harder and harder to keep my promise.

Squidward: Ok, the shirt! (takes his short off) Take it! Take my shirt!

Spongebob: Squidward’s shirt. I’ve always loved that shirt. Ok, ok, I’ll trade! (puts the shirt on) I can break a promise for this. Squidward, do you want your other stuff, cause this is all I’ll need?

Squidward: You can have all that junk, ‘cause now I’ve got this! I’ve got the paper, and you’ve got my useless garbage. (puts the paper on his butt and waves it at Spongebob) I got it! Haha and you can’t have it. (runs around Spongebob) I got it, you’re a sucker. You’re a sucker, sucker. (laughs) At last, what should we try first, Mr Paper? Impressions! A guy with a piece of paper on his nose. (puts the paper on his nose) Look at me! I’m a guy with a piece of paper...on his...nose. Hmmm. A-ha! Wait, wait, wait, wait... (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out revealing a wadded up piece of paper that is wet) Tada!

Kids: Boo! (Squidward dries off the piece of paper)

Squidward: Ok, ok, uhh, helicopter! (puts the piece of paper on his fingers) Gentlemen, start your engines. I’m flying! Oh yeah, I’m flying! I’m flying! That’s right, that’s right, here we go now. (bends up and down trying to fly) I’m flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying... (sighs) ...flying. (Spongebob is looking at himself in the mirror with Squidward's shirt still on him while Gary is playing his clarinet) Wait, more impressions. A guy throwing a piece of paper on the ground! (trhwos it on the ground) A guy stomping on the piece of paper (stomps on the paper then picks it up) I’m a guy who traded everything he owns for a...

Patrick: (walks up to Squidward chewing gum) ...a worthless piece of paper. (Patrick grabs the paper) Hey, thanks, it’s just what I needed, Squidward. (blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can Nice shirt, Spongebob. (laughs)

Squidward: Anybody have any sunscreen?
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Arrgh!

2008-02-11T18:41:28Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Schatzsuche]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: The Paper|The Paper]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Rock Bottom|Rock Bottom]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Arrgh!]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Flying Dutchman]]

Mr Krabs: Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I surely break out in a rash!

Spongebob: Yippee! I'm rich! Look Patrick, eight gold dubloons!

Mr Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! hah! (Jumps onto table) Mine, mine! Huh?

Spongebob: Boy Mr Krabs, you sure are sweaty.

Mr Krabs: What's this? Where are the dubloons?

Spongebob: (laughs) There are no real dubloons, Mr Krabs! It's a game: 'The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt'.

Patrick: Based on a real treasure map.

Spongebob: Take a break and play around with us.

Patrick: Yeah! C'mon sweaty.

Mr Krabs: Have you finished cleaning the tables?

Spongebob: I cleaned the tables Mr Krabs!

Mr Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?

Spongebob: (chewing) I already took care of it.

Mr Krabs: Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaeided me.

Patrick: My turn. (rolls dice) Five. (makes strawberry noise while moving piece) (reads card) One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. (Spongebob turns eyes toward Mr Krabs) It's off to jail for you, Mr Krabs.

Mr Krabs: Patrick, you're fired!

Patrick: But I don't even work here!

Mr Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? (puts hat on Patrick's head)

Patrick: Boy, would I?!

Mr Krabs: (takes hat off Patrick's head) You're fired!

Spongebob: My turn. (rolls dice) One, two, three, four. (picks up card and reads it) Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way. Well, I see Mr Krabs zipper is undone.

Mr Krabs: Uhh! Shiver me timbers!

Spongebob: (laughs) Just kidding, Mr Krabs. I'm almost to the treasure. You're turn again Mr Krabs.

Mr Krabs: (rolls dice) Ooh, fish eyes. One, two.

Spongebob: (picks up card and reads it) You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure Mr Krabs!

Mr Krabs: Treasure. (digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears) There it is! It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

Spongebob: Hey, Mr Krabs is getting all sweaty again.

Fred: Rev up those fryers, cause I am sure hungry for one...help! help! My leg!

Mr Krabs: Can't you see we're closed! Ready for another round? This is my kind of game!

Spongebob + Patrick: Hooray!

Mr Krabs: Six! One, two...I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.

Spongebob: I think we ought to call it a night, Mr Krabs. I really got to get some sleep.

Mr Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.

Spongebob: I'm sorry, Mr Krabs. (yawns) See you tomorrow. (walks inside house) (rattling noises heard) Huh? Whose there? (turns light on)

Mr Krabs: C'mon, Spongebob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.

Spongebob: Mr Krabs, it is late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr Krabs.

Mr Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.

Spongebob: Mr Krabs, you gotta...(opens door)

Mr Krabs: That's awful lad. If the Dutchman hears ya, we'll never get his treasure.

Spongebob: But Mr Krabs...

Mr Krabs: I'll roll for ya boy.

Spongebob: But, Mr...

Mr Krabs: (rolls dice) Eight paces, now that's a good start lad.

Spongebob: But, Mr...

Mr Krabs: One, two, three...

Spongebob: (yelling) MR KRABS! I WANNA GO TO BED! Mr Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?

Mr Krabs: A game. That's...right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I got a little carried away, eh? On this treasure we're dealing here. Sorry, for disturbing ya, lad.

Mr Krabs: (morning arrives) Avas! Pineapple, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.

Spongebob: Aw, go home already. I'm done playing that game, Mr Krabs.

Mr Krabs: It's Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.

Spongebob: Pirates?

Mr Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?

Spongebob + Patrick: Treasure? (dancing around) We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!

Mr Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Relay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. (throws them a bag of pirate stuff) Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.

Spongebob: Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.

Mr Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?

Spongebob: Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! (falls on plank)

Patrick: I'm Blind Beard the Pirate. (falls on Spongebob)

Spongebob: Ow.

Mr Krabs: Arrgh! (sailing underwater) Keep a sharp lookout. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

Spongebob: Really? Can we see the map?

Mr Krabs: Uh...no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.

Spongebob: Okie dokie, then.

Mr Krabs: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"

Spongebob: Okie...oops. (laughs) I mean...arrgh! Captain Krabs. (eyes widen) Captain, we're about to hit...uhh...I mean...arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...

Mr Krabs: Out with it man, arrgh!

Patrick: I, arrgh, think, arrgh, he's trying, arrgh, to say...(crash) land.

Mr Krabs: ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mr Squarepants?

Spongebob: The whole ship is underwater captain.

Mr Krabs: Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.

Spongebob: But Mr Krabs, that seaweed has...(Mr Krabs pulls a leaf off)

Spongebob: Which way captain?

Mr Krabs: Answer Patrick. Which was is east?

Patrick: Uhh...let's see, uhh...(points) that way captain!

Mr Krabs: 9,997...9,998...9,999...10,000! Where's the "X"? Suppose to
be right here! 10,000 paces east.

Patrick: Ooh! East? I thought you said "weast".

Mr Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?

Patrick: This one, sir.

Mr Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again. 9,551...9,552...

Spongebob: Mr Krabs, we're tired.

Patrick: And hungry.

Mr Krabs: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the sides of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty and his crew. And without a crew, what am I captain of? Just a bunch of sand! (cries)

Patrick: Don't cry Captain Krabs.

Spongebob: Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. *both cry*

Mr Krabs: You'll stay with me then?

Spongebob + Patrick: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!

Mr Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!

Spongebob + Patrick: And all for one! (laying on ground at night outside tent)

Spongebob: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.

Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.

Spongebob: But we've only been gone a few hours.

Patrick: I know. (laughs) (Spongebob moves away)

Spongebob: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!

Spongebob + Patrick: Captain Krabs?

Spongebob: He's not here.

Patrick: Look! The treasure map.

Spongebob: Only the captain can look at the map, Patrick.

Patrick: Yeah...

Spongebob: Patrick, what are you doing?

Patrick: Nothing.

Spongebob: Patrick, you're not suppose to look at the map. (Patrick poking the map)

Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that is there?

Spongebob: No, guess there isn't. (Both poking map)(Map opens)

Spongebob: Oops! Patrick, it opened by itself. (Both laugh) (Eyes enlarge and search the map)

Spongebob + Patrick: The map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. (Eyes go back in)

Patrick: Spongebob?

Spongebob: Yeah?

Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this map?

Spongebob: You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?

Mr Krabs: Do you think this is a problem?

Spongebob + Patrick: Aah! Mr Krabs!

Mr Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me treasure?

Patrick: We're sorry.

Mr Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?

Spongebob: Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!

Patrick: I think that.

Mr Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!

Spongebob: (gasps) Look! It's the "X".

Mr Krabs: (eyes go into "X" like symbol) "X" marks the spot!

Spongebob: Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.

Mr Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.

Spongebob: We got it Captain Krabs.

Mr Krabs: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me lads. Heave! (Brings treasure up)

Mr Krabs: We finally found it.

Lady Overvoice: The Dutchman's Treasure!

All: Wow!

Spongebob: What are you going to do with your share, Patrick?

Patrick: I don’t know. How are you going to spend your share, Spongebob?

Mr Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!

Spongebob: We found it together. So we deserve a share!

Mr Krabs: Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!

Spongebob: What about loyalty?

Mr Krabs: All for one.

Spongebob: And one for all.

Mr Krabs: All for one.

Spongebob: And one for all.

Mr Krabs: All for one.

Spongebob: And one for all.

Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman.

Mr Krabs: All for one.

Spongebob: And one for all.

Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman. Who dares wake the Flying Dutchman? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.

Mr Krabs: All for one.

Spongebob + Patrick: And one for all. (Lightning)

Flying Dutchman: Who duh up the Dutchman's treasure?

Mr Krabs: (shoves chest toward Spongebob and Patrick) They did!

Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?!

Spongebob + Patrick: Uh-huh!

Flying Dutchman: Well, you saved me a lot of diggin you did. So here's an reward for the two of ya's.

Spongebob: Wow!

Lady Overvoice: Two Gold Dubloons!

Mr Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this crew. Where's my reward?

Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. (Flicks something to Mr Krabs)

Mr Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.

Lady Overvoice: Plastic!

Flying Dutchman: Ay, but it's based on a real treasure chest. (laughs)

Patrick: Gee Mr Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again.
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Walking Small

2008-02-11T18:40:38Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Energisch]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Texas|Texas]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Fools in April|Fools in April]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Walking Small (Episode)|Walking Small]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Larry, the Lobster]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Scooter]]

(At Goo Lagoon where a toy bulldozer is taking down the "welcome to goo lagoon" sign. Plankton jumps out of the bulldozer and laughs evily. Then he puts two black & white road blocks in front of him and takes out a megaphone)

Plankton: Attention, beachgoers! You are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket'! (takes out a sign that says 'future site of the mega bucket and plants it into the ground. The beachgoers can't hear anything but squeeking)

Woman: Do you hear something? (man sitting beside her shakes his head while the lifeguard tries to listen through his bullhorn)

Plankton: (takes out megaphone) Ok, have it your way. I don’t mind bulldozing over each and every one... (a kid comes over and picks up the bulldozer)

Kid: Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.

Kid's Mom: Put that thing down, Billy, it has germs on it. (kid drops it and iut lands beside Plankton)

Billy: Ohh, mom.

Plankton: (talks through megaphone) You’ll see. (throws away the megaphone) You’ll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretinus beachgoers. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! (zoom out) I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... (giant foot almost steps on Plankton but he dives out of the way)) Spongebob!

Spongebob: Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!

Plankton: Yes. He’s the one. (laughs evily. The sand on his head falls off)

Spongebob: I’ll have one... (some kid cuts in front of him)

Kid #2: Two please. (ice cream man gives him two ice creams) Thanks. (walks off)

Spongebob: One please. (a green eel slithers through Spongebob and grabs the ice cream)

Eel: Excuse me. (walks off licking the ice cream)

Spongebob: One please.

Ice Cream Man: Sorry, kid. We’re all out.

Spongebob: Aww, barnacles. (he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two ice creams) Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?

Plankton: Oh, hi, Spongebob. (blows his nose) I’m cryin’ because I’ve got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! (crys) I don’t know what to do with the other one! (cries then stops and looks at Spongebob and cries again)

Spongebob: I’ll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.

Plankton: Spongebob! Would you do that for me?

Spongebob: Sure! (starts to lick the ice cream)

Plankton: Spongebob? (Spongebob is still licking the ice cream) Spongebob? (Spongebob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get Spongebob's attention) Spongebob!!

Spongebob: (turns towards Plankton) Yeah? (spits out ice cream as he talks)

Plankton: Isn’t it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. (Spongebob licks his fingers) You can have anything you want with a little training. (Spongebob licks his fingers again)

Spongebob: Training?

Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.

Spongebob: Assertive, huh?

Plankton: That’s right.

Spongebob: Anything I want. (licks his lips) Sounds great! (spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking)

Plankton: Wonderful. (laughs evily then Spongebob joins in the laughing. Then an adult fish sits on Spongebob) Spongebob, don’t let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!

Spongebob: Umm, excuse me, sir, you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.

Plankton: No, no, be assertive! (Spongebob puts his fingers in the guys pockets)

Spongebob: Beep beep! (Plankton smacks forehead)

Plankton: Not (in)sertive! (adult fish checks his watch then walks away) Spongebob, you missed your chance! You’ve got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You’re too soft!

Spongebob: But I’m a spo...

Plankton: Don’t say it! (Plankton spots the eel that took Spongebob's ice cream) There’s the guy who took your ice cream. Don’t you want it back?

Spongebob: Ice cream! (Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel)

Plankton: Listen, you! My friend’s got something to say! (the eel turns around)

Eel: What, who said that? Was it you? (talking to Spongebob)

Plankton: Tell him off, Spongebob. Assert yourself!

Spongebob: That’s my ice cream cone!

Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!

Spongebob: You can have it.

Eel: Say, thanks! (walks off)

Plankton: No! (jumps inside Spongebob's mouth) I’ll show ya how! Hey, pencil neck! (eel turns around) Yeah, you, slither over here! (eel walks over to Spongebob) Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swarming torrent of pain and misery! (eel throws ice cream on Spongebob's face)

Spongebob: Hey, that guy was crying!

Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!

Spongebob: Yeah!

Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, when you’re maniacal?

Spongebob: Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.

Plankton: Whatever.

Spongebob: Well, if it got me this ice cream, I like it! (throws the ice cream into his mouth, which lands on Plankton. later, Spongebob is using a metal detector. It starts beeping really fast) I found something!

Fish: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? (Spongebob hands the equipment to him)

Spongebob: Sure!

Plankton: Spongebob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!

Spongebob: Do you want to take a hike with me?

Fish: Yeah.

Plankton: (angry) Now look what you’ve done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!

Spongebob: Hey, go check in that ditch! (points to the ditch beside them. The fish jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest)

Fish: Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!

Spongebob: Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!

Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you’ll tie him in a knot if you don’t get your metal detector back!

Spongebob: Hey! I’m gonna tie your shoe if you don’t give that back!

Fish: But I’m wearing sandals!

Spongebob: Ok, never mind! (Plankton jumps off of Spongebob) It’s alright, Plankton, he’s wearing sandals. What’s the matter?

Plankton: (putting things into a suitcase) Oh, nothing, Spongebob. (puts on a black hat) I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.
Spongebob: No it’s not!
Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don’t have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.

Spongebob: But what about airline food?

Plankton: What?

Spongebob: Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! (rimshot) See, I can be a standup guy. See? (Plankton throws his hat down)

Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get what you want! You’ll always let people step all over you! You’re just like stairs!

Spongebob: Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!

Plankton: Ok, but this is your last chance! (points to people trying to get a tan) Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sunrays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?

Spongebob: Just watch me! (runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beachgoers run away) Man, this thing is sandy!

Fred: My leg! (after everyone runs off, Spongebob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp)

Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They’re leaving the beach! (Spongebob now has a tan and looks brown) Spongebob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?

Spongebob: Well, not all of me.

Hot Dog Man: Hot dogs! (the two look over to see the octopus vendor given six customers hot dogs with six of his tentacles) Hot dogs!

Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!

Spongebob: I’ll do better than that! (sticks his tongue out so far he grabs the hotdogs and eats them all. The hotdog stand closes down)

Plankton: Spongebob, that was genius! Look at all those kite flyers blocking your view!

Spongebob: What?

Plankton: Breaking your wind! (Spongebob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites)

Larry: Hey Spongebob, throw us the ball. (Larry and others are playing volleyball but Spongebob pops the ball and screams like an elephant. Everyone walks off)

Spongebob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! Plankton? (Plankton is driving a crane) Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!

Plankton: Exactly.

Spongebob: You didn’t tell me everyone would leave.

Plankton: Oops. (pushes a button. A sign emerges from under the sand. The sign says "Mega Bucket")

Spongebob: (gasps) Mega Bucket?! You used me...for land development! That wasn’t nice!

Plankton: Haven’t you figured it out, Spongebob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! (laughs evilly)

Spongebob: Well, what about aggressively nice people?

Plankton: Huh? What are you doing? (Spongebob brings out the hot dogs he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were) Wait, Spongebob! Stop! (a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. Spongebob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyebrows) Butterfly kisses. Can’t take it. It’s too cute! It’s...it’s disgusted! (Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard)

Spongebob: What happened? (points to surfboard)

Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!

Spongebob: No problem! (makes himself a surfboard)

Scooter: Whoa! (grabs the surfboard) Killer!

Plankton: Spongebob, stop! Before it’s too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back! (everyone comes back) Wait! (everyone runs over Plankton. Scooter is surfing)

Scooter: Cowabunga! (Scooter comes back on land and everyone cheers for him. Spongebob goes back to his normal shape) Thanks, dude! That was awesome!

Spongebob: Gee, Plankton, I’m sorry about the Chum Bucket.

Plankton: Forget about that. I just can’t take so much kindness in one sitting! (bunches up into a ball) Need hatred. (crawls away)

Spongebob: Volleyball, anyone? (everyone uses Spongebob as the ball) Service! (everytime he is hit he says "ouch")
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Walking Small

2008-02-11T18:40:12Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episdenmitschrift: Energisch]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Texas|Texas]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Fools in April|Fools in April]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Walking Small (Episode)|Walking Small]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Larry, the Lobster]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Scooter]]

(At Goo Lagoon where a toy bulldozer is taking down the "welcome to goo lagoon" sign. Plankton jumps out of the bulldozer and laughs evily. Then he puts two black & white road blocks in front of him and takes out a megaphone)

Plankton: Attention, beachgoers! You are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket'! (takes out a sign that says 'future site of the mega bucket and plants it into the ground. The beachgoers can't hear anything but squeeking)

Woman: Do you hear something? (man sitting beside her shakes his head while the lifeguard tries to listen through his bullhorn)

Plankton: (takes out megaphone) Ok, have it your way. I don’t mind bulldozing over each and every one... (a kid comes over and picks up the bulldozer)

Kid: Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.

Kid's Mom: Put that thing down, Billy, it has germs on it. (kid drops it and iut lands beside Plankton)

Billy: Ohh, mom.

Plankton: (talks through megaphone) You’ll see. (throws away the megaphone) You’ll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretinus beachgoers. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! (zoom out) I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... (giant foot almost steps on Plankton but he dives out of the way)) Spongebob!

Spongebob: Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!

Plankton: Yes. He’s the one. (laughs evily. The sand on his head falls off)

Spongebob: I’ll have one... (some kid cuts in front of him)

Kid #2: Two please. (ice cream man gives him two ice creams) Thanks. (walks off)

Spongebob: One please. (a green eel slithers through Spongebob and grabs the ice cream)

Eel: Excuse me. (walks off licking the ice cream)

Spongebob: One please.

Ice Cream Man: Sorry, kid. We’re all out.

Spongebob: Aww, barnacles. (he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two ice creams) Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?

Plankton: Oh, hi, Spongebob. (blows his nose) I’m cryin’ because I’ve got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! (crys) I don’t know what to do with the other one! (cries then stops and looks at Spongebob and cries again)

Spongebob: I’ll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.

Plankton: Spongebob! Would you do that for me?

Spongebob: Sure! (starts to lick the ice cream)

Plankton: Spongebob? (Spongebob is still licking the ice cream) Spongebob? (Spongebob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get Spongebob's attention) Spongebob!!

Spongebob: (turns towards Plankton) Yeah? (spits out ice cream as he talks)

Plankton: Isn’t it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. (Spongebob licks his fingers) You can have anything you want with a little training. (Spongebob licks his fingers again)

Spongebob: Training?

Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.

Spongebob: Assertive, huh?

Plankton: That’s right.

Spongebob: Anything I want. (licks his lips) Sounds great! (spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking)

Plankton: Wonderful. (laughs evily then Spongebob joins in the laughing. Then an adult fish sits on Spongebob) Spongebob, don’t let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!

Spongebob: Umm, excuse me, sir, you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.

Plankton: No, no, be assertive! (Spongebob puts his fingers in the guys pockets)

Spongebob: Beep beep! (Plankton smacks forehead)

Plankton: Not (in)sertive! (adult fish checks his watch then walks away) Spongebob, you missed your chance! You’ve got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You’re too soft!

Spongebob: But I’m a spo...

Plankton: Don’t say it! (Plankton spots the eel that took Spongebob's ice cream) There’s the guy who took your ice cream. Don’t you want it back?

Spongebob: Ice cream! (Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel)

Plankton: Listen, you! My friend’s got something to say! (the eel turns around)

Eel: What, who said that? Was it you? (talking to Spongebob)

Plankton: Tell him off, Spongebob. Assert yourself!

Spongebob: That’s my ice cream cone!

Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!

Spongebob: You can have it.

Eel: Say, thanks! (walks off)

Plankton: No! (jumps inside Spongebob's mouth) I’ll show ya how! Hey, pencil neck! (eel turns around) Yeah, you, slither over here! (eel walks over to Spongebob) Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swarming torrent of pain and misery! (eel throws ice cream on Spongebob's face)

Spongebob: Hey, that guy was crying!

Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!

Spongebob: Yeah!

Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, when you’re maniacal?

Spongebob: Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.

Plankton: Whatever.

Spongebob: Well, if it got me this ice cream, I like it! (throws the ice cream into his mouth, which lands on Plankton. later, Spongebob is using a metal detector. It starts beeping really fast) I found something!

Fish: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? (Spongebob hands the equipment to him)

Spongebob: Sure!

Plankton: Spongebob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!

Spongebob: Do you want to take a hike with me?

Fish: Yeah.

Plankton: (angry) Now look what you’ve done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!

Spongebob: Hey, go check in that ditch! (points to the ditch beside them. The fish jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest)

Fish: Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!

Spongebob: Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!

Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you’ll tie him in a knot if you don’t get your metal detector back!

Spongebob: Hey! I’m gonna tie your shoe if you don’t give that back!

Fish: But I’m wearing sandals!

Spongebob: Ok, never mind! (Plankton jumps off of Spongebob) It’s alright, Plankton, he’s wearing sandals. What’s the matter?

Plankton: (putting things into a suitcase) Oh, nothing, Spongebob. (puts on a black hat) I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.
Spongebob: No it’s not!
Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don’t have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.

Spongebob: But what about airline food?

Plankton: What?

Spongebob: Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! (rimshot) See, I can be a standup guy. See? (Plankton throws his hat down)

Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get what you want! You’ll always let people step all over you! You’re just like stairs!

Spongebob: Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!

Plankton: Ok, but this is your last chance! (points to people trying to get a tan) Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sunrays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?

Spongebob: Just watch me! (runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beachgoers run away) Man, this thing is sandy!

Fred: My leg! (after everyone runs off, Spongebob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp)

Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They’re leaving the beach! (Spongebob now has a tan and looks brown) Spongebob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?

Spongebob: Well, not all of me.

Hot Dog Man: Hot dogs! (the two look over to see the octopus vendor given six customers hot dogs with six of his tentacles) Hot dogs!

Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!

Spongebob: I’ll do better than that! (sticks his tongue out so far he grabs the hotdogs and eats them all. The hotdog stand closes down)

Plankton: Spongebob, that was genius! Look at all those kite flyers blocking your view!

Spongebob: What?

Plankton: Breaking your wind! (Spongebob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites)

Larry: Hey Spongebob, throw us the ball. (Larry and others are playing volleyball but Spongebob pops the ball and screams like an elephant. Everyone walks off)

Spongebob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! Plankton? (Plankton is driving a crane) Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!

Plankton: Exactly.

Spongebob: You didn’t tell me everyone would leave.

Plankton: Oops. (pushes a button. A sign emerges from under the sand. The sign says "Mega Bucket")

Spongebob: (gasps) Mega Bucket?! You used me...for land development! That wasn’t nice!

Plankton: Haven’t you figured it out, Spongebob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! (laughs evilly)

Spongebob: Well, what about aggressively nice people?

Plankton: Huh? What are you doing? (Spongebob brings out the hot dogs he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were) Wait, Spongebob! Stop! (a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. Spongebob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyebrows) Butterfly kisses. Can’t take it. It’s too cute! It’s...it’s disgusted! (Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard)

Spongebob: What happened? (points to surfboard)

Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!

Spongebob: No problem! (makes himself a surfboard)

Scooter: Whoa! (grabs the surfboard) Killer!

Plankton: Spongebob, stop! Before it’s too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back! (everyone comes back) Wait! (everyone runs over Plankton. Scooter is surfing)

Scooter: Cowabunga! (Scooter comes back on land and everyone cheers for him. Spongebob goes back to his normal shape) Thanks, dude! That was awesome!

Spongebob: Gee, Plankton, I’m sorry about the Chum Bucket.

Plankton: Forget about that. I just can’t take so much kindness in one sitting! (bunches up into a ball) Need hatred. (crawls away)

Spongebob: Volleyball, anyone? (everyone uses Spongebob as the ball) Service! (everytime he is hit he says "ouch")
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Hall Monitor

2008-02-11T18:38:07Z

84.160.237.109:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die Aufsichtsperson]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transscript
!Next Episode Transscript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Pickles|Pickles]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Jellyfish Jam|Jelllyfish Jam]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Hall Monitor (Episode)|Hall Monitor]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*Officer Durado
*[[Officer Malley]]
*[[Jimmy]]
*Phil
*Tina

Narrator: Mrs Puff’s Boating School. Where diligent students learn the rules of the road.

Mrs Puff: Everyone, put down your books, because it’s time to pick out the hall monitor of the day! (Spongebob squeezes his pencil so hard it shoots up into the air) Let’s see here. This week's hall monitor will be Bart, Jimmy, no, no, Tina, Ralph, mm... (gasps) ...Spongebob. (Spongebob moves his desk between 2 rows) It's Jimmy! Jimmy’s the hall monitor.

Jimmy: Mrs Puff, I’ve done it already! (Spongebob moves his desk closer)

Mrs Puff: Ohh...Phil?

Phil: No way, Mrs Puff. (Spongebob moves his desk closer)

Mrs Puff: Uhh, Tina, you’re the hall monitor.

Tina: Hey, I’ve done it three times already! (Spongebob moves up closer)

Mrs Puff: B-B-Beth!

Student: She graduated!

Mrs Puff: Henry? (Spongebob moves closer) Vera? (Spongebob moves closer) Clayton? (Spongebob is poking Mrs Puff with his desk as she sighs) Alright, I guess I have no choice. (gulps) The hall monitor of the day is Spongebob. (Spongebob launches into the air)

Spongebob: Yahoo! Hall monitor Spongebob reporting for duty, ma’am! I am ready to assume my position...in the hall! I will protect all that are weak...in the hall! All rules will be enforced...in the hall!

Mrs Puff: Ok! Just take the hat and belt. (tries handing him uniform)

Spongebob: I can’t except that yet, ma’am. First I have to make my speech.

Mrs Puff: You can’t make this easy, can you?

Spongebob: Classmates!! Who am I to deserve such a great honor? Why, I would be nothing without Mrs Puff.

Mrs Puff: Give me a break.

Spongebob: And to my public, all I can say is I’m touched. And furthermore, I will carry out my duties... (clock moves forward in time as Spongebob continues his speech) ...crime and punishment, punishment and crime in the hall! (at this point, everyone is almost asleep) Which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest hall monitor of all time. (takes out a long roll of paper) “Friends, students, juvenile delinquents, lend me your ears.” (the clock has disappeared, and it is now much later in the day. Puff is asleep at her desk) In conclusion, and without a moment to spare, I will put on this uniform (takes out the hat and belt) and assume my duties as... (puts on the uniform) ...hall monitor! Wish me luck, Mrs Puff! (walks towards the door then turns around) Oh, and I will be... (bell rings as all studens run over Spongebob)

Mrs Puff: Spongebob, are you ok?

Spongebob: I overdid the speech again, didn’t I?

Mrs Puff: I’m afraid so.

Spongebob: Aww, tarter sauce. I guess I won’t be needing this. (takes off his uniform) I hardly knew ya. (gives uniform to Mrs Puff and walks away saddened)

Mrs Puff: Uhh...Spongebob?

Spongebob: Yes, Mrs Puff?

Mrs Puff: I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.

Spongebob: A-hoo! (dives into the uniform) Thanks, Mrs Puff!

Mrs Puff: What are the consequences of what I’ve just done? (cut to Spongebob walking down the street. Then notices a broken traffic light)

Spongebob: Broken traffic light! Who’s to say my monitor duties should end just because the bell rang? I could be helpful anywhere! This looks like a job for the hall monitor! (directs traffic, with a whistle, to their destination using all sorts of hand gestures but ends up causing a huge wreck in the end) What would this town do without you, Spongebob?

Fred: My leg! My leg.

Spongebob: On patrol. I’m on patrol. (notices a house with an open window) Uh-oh, an open window. (peeks through the window and there is a couple eating)
Woman: More seaweed medley, dear?

Spongebob: The fools. They’ve left themselves susceptible to danger. I must show them the error of their ways through example. (jumps through the window and onto their table in a ski mask) I’m the open window maniac! (both run out screaming) I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson! (shuts the window and begins walking again) On patrol. I'm on patrol. I'm on patrol... (gasps as he sees a puddle of pink goo on the ground) Vandals! Another crime. (takes his finger and tastes the pink goo) Strawberry. I must act! (more pink goo falls on his head. He looks up and sees Patrick eating some strawberry ice cream) Patrick... (looks around for the voice he just heard) Patrick... Patrick...

Patrick: My ice cream! It’s alive! (screams and throws away the ice cream)

Spongebob: Patrick! Down here!

Patrick: Oh, Spongebob, it’s you. (ice cream cone is on Spongebobs face)

Spongebob: Patrick. Get down here. (Patrick jumps down on top of
Spongebob)

Patrick: Spongebob? Spongebob?

Spongebob: I’m down here.

Patrick: Hehe, you look funny! Hi, Spongebob.

Spongebob: That’s hall monitor to you!

Patrick: Sorry, officer.

Spongebob: Sorry’s not good enough, Patrick. You’ve committed a crime, and I’m taking you in.

Patrick: What crime? (shows him the ice cream that is on the ground) I’m a bad person! (cries)

Paperboy: Extra! Extra! Maniac strikes Bikini Bottom! City paralyzed with fear! (gives one to Spongebob) Take it, friends. Arm yourselves with knowledge. (runs off) Extra! Extra!

Spongebob: (reads paper) Maniac. Bikini Bottom? Car wreck? Break-in? Who better to bring this maniac to justice than me, the hall monitor! But I can’t handle this case alone. Patrick, are you ready to give up your life of crime?

Patrick: (still crying) I wanna be good!

Spongebob: Hmmm...now you just need a symbol of authority. (Patrick puts the ice cream cone on his head) Perfect! It is our duty to catch this maniac and bring him to justice! But how to proceed? Listen, deputy, you’re an ex-criminal. What would you do?

Patrick: Hmmm...I’d get an ice cream! (both walk out an ice cream store with ice cream)

Spongebob: Ok, now what?

Patrick: Hmmm... (both come out the ice cream store again with ice
cream)

Spongebob: This isn't working. We’ve got to do something else. Something with walkie-talkies! (takes out two walkie-talkies. Patrick grabs one and is elated with joy) And now, duty calls! Alright deputy, I’ll go that way, you go some different way! Run 'em out! (Spongebob runs off sounding like a siren. The police come driving up and stop beside Patrick)

Officer Durado: Afternoon, son.

Patrick: Hello, brothers. (salutes to the officers and points to his 'hat')

Officer Durado: Son, we’re looking for the maniac.

Officer Malley: Have you seen this man?! (officer #2 whips out a sign that says 'WANTED MANIAC' with Spongebob's picture on it. Patrick screams)

Patrick: It’s the maniac! Take him away! Take him away!

Officer Durado: Calm down son. It’s just a drawing, not the real thing. Now we’re going to show you the picture again, and you tell us if you’ve seen this guy, understand?

Patrick: Yeah, uh-huh.

Officer Durado: Ok. (officer Malley shows Patrick the sign again)

Patrick: (screams) Horrible! (puts picture away. Both officers look at each other and smile. Officer #2 takes away and shows the sign to Patrick as he screams every time.)

Officer Durado: Stay indoors, son.

Officer Malley: And, uhh, take that cone off your head. (both laugh as they drive off)

Patrick: (takes out walkie-talkie) Spongebob? Come in, Spongebob. Answer.

Spongebob: Spongebob here, Patrick. Report.

Patrick: (over walkie-talkie) I don’t wanna be a policeman anymore! I’m scared!

Spongebob: Get a hold of yourself deputy.

Patrick: (over walkie-talkie) I wanna go home!

Spongebob: Poor rookie. Alright, I’m on my way back.

Patrick: Hurry Spongebob, I think it’s getting... (day becomes night) ...dark.

Spongebob: Just put on your siren and I’ll be right there.

Patrick: Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo. (Patrick picks up the sign that the officers showed him earlier. Then sees a darkish figure down the road. It's Spongebob but Patrick doesn't realize it) Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Spongebob! I see him!

Spongebob: (over walkie-talkie) Where is he, Patrick?

Patrick: (over walkie-talkie) At the intersection of Conch and Coral. (Spongebob turns his head around to read the street sign)

Spongebob: That's where I am. He’s right on top of me, but I can’t see him! What’s he doing?

Patrick: Uhh, he’s just standing there...menacingly! (screams over walkie-talkie) Get out of there, Spongebob! (Spongebob screams) That’s his maniac screech. He’s going to attack! (Spongebob runs around in circles) He’s acting all crazy! Run! Hide behind that building! (Spongebob hides behind the building) No, he’s behind that building! Oh, quick, hide behind that street sign! (Spongebob hides behind the street sign) No wait! The maniac just went behind that sign! Quick! Get under the street light! (Spongebob gets under the street lights) No wait, he’s there, too! Run for your life! (Spongebob jumps inside a mailbox. As he tries to relax, the radio is cutting out)

Spongebob: (over walkie-talkie) Say again, deputy?

Patrick: The maniac is in the mailbox! (Spongebob pokes his arms and legs through the mailbox and runs through buildings and a fence)

Spongebob: (takes a look at the 'wanted' sign) Huh, this guy’s not half-bad-looking for a maniac. Wait a minute, Patrick, I’m the maniac! (Patrick screams and a bunch of police cars surround Spongebob)

Officer Durado: We’ll take that as a confession. (Mrs Puff appears)

Mrs Puff: Spongebob Squarepants, there you are! I turn my back on you for one minute and you destroy half the city! You should be ashamed of yourself!

Officer #1: You know this guy?

Mrs Puff: Of course I do. I’m the one who gave him the uniform in the first place. He’s my responsibility. (the cops stare at her) Uh-oh... (at the boating school where the whole class, except Spongebob, is sleeping. Mrs Puff is teaching class from jail through the TV) Now in conclusion, class: red means stop, green means go. And Spongebob...

Spongebob: Yes, Mrs Puff?

Mrs Puff: I’d like to see you after class. Six months from now.
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
[[Category:Transscript]]

{{slogan}}