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Episode Transcript: Bummer Vacation

2015-08-18T00:34:43Z

73.226.24.183: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Bummer Vacation]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]

==Dialogue==

''(at the Krusty Krab)'' 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! SpongeBob! Just put me out of me misery. 

'''SpongeBob''': Why, Mr. Krabs? What can be wrong on such a fine day? 

Mr. Krabs: Fine?! ''(grabs SpongeBob's mouth and ties it up)'' Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this
letter from the Fry Cooks Union. It says here fry cook SpongeBob SquarePants has accumulated too much vacation time. And if
you don't take some time off, I'll have to pay a fine. ''(cries)'' 

'''SpongeBob''': Time off?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I guess there's no other way to say this-- SpongeBob, take a vacation. 

'''SpongeBob''': Aye aye, Mr. Krabs. ''(runs out)'' 

Mr. Krabs: Well, that went better than I expected. 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(running down the street)'' I'm ready, vacation. I'm ready, vacation. Vacation. Vacation. ''(enters his house)'' Hey, Gary. 

Gary: Meow? 

'''SpongeBob''': That's right, Gary, I am home early. I'm on vacation. Well, good night, Gary. Ah, vacation. ''(walks into his bed and closes his eyes for no more than two seconds before his alarm goes off. Scene cuts to him lifting his weights, eating cereal,
flossing & showering) La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la... ''(puts on some spray to make him shine. He grabs his hat then walks into the Krusty Krab)'' Good morning, Krusty Krew! And hello, Squidward. 

Squidward: I thought you were on vacation. 

Mr. Krabs: ''(stops SpongeBob)'' He was and is. I thought I told you to take a vacation, boy. 

'''SpongeBob''': What's a vacation? 

Mr. Krabs: Well, a vacation is when you don't come into work. 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(gasps)'' No work?! But what'll I do all day? 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I really don't know. Just go have fun or whatever. I really don't care. You just can't be here. 

'''SpongeBob''': But who will fry the patties and clean the grill while I'm gone? Squidward can't do it all alone. 

Squidward: Nor will I. 

Mr. Krabs: That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement. 

'''Patrick''': ''(walks in)'' Good morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day. 

Mr. Krabs: Speaking of starfish, here's your replacement right here. 

'''SpongeBob''': Replacement? 

'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob. 

Mr. Krabs: That's quite enough banter on my dime. 

'''Patrick''': Ok, boss. 

Mr. Krabs: Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the right tools for the job. ''(takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula and gives it
to Patrick)'' 

'''Patrick''': Wow. ''(notices his reflection in the spatula)'' Huh! They put a tiny me in this belly scratcher. ''(scratches his belly
and his back)'' Ahh... Ahh... Wow. It scratches backs, too! 

Mr. Krabs: I'll take it from here, SpongeBob. Just go on home. Enjoy your vacation and do'nt come back until your vacation is over. 

'''SpongeBob''': I really should show Patrick the proper patty-flipping technique. ''(Mr. Krabs shuts the doors in SpongeBob's face.
Scene cuts to inside SpongeBob's house, his face turned pale)'' 

Gary: Meow. 

'''SpongeBob''': I'm on vacation, Gary. I am not supposed to go to work. ''(stomach growls then shrinks. SpongeBob gasps)'' My stomach
has receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He never said I couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back
inside! ''(scene cuts to Krusty Krab)'' 

Squidward: Go away, SpongeBob. You're ruining my vacation...from you. 

'''SpongeBob''': I am not here to see you, Squidward. 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, do we have to go through that again? 

'''SpongeBob''': I'm here as a customer only not an employee. I'm Just going to grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch. (laughs) 

Mr. Krabs: Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as touch a spatuler, you'll be vacationing in Davey Jones' Locker. 

'''SpongeBob''': You have my word, sir. No working. ''(enters kitchen)'' Hey Pat, it's time for your lunch-- ''(screams as he sees
Patrick putting patties wrongly, attached to his body, on the grill)'' Whoa! Patrick, you can't do that! 

'''Patrick''': Huh? 

'''SpongeBob''': You need to turn up the grill to exactly 298 degrees Fahrenheit. ''(turns the knob to the right from 297 to 298.
Takes SpongeBob's spatula)'' Patrick, this is no way to treat a Krabby Patty. 

Mr. Krabs: ''(storms into the kitchen)'' SpongeBob! What did I tell you before about working? 

'''SpongeBob''': Wait, it's not what you think. 

Mr. Krabs: ''(wheels SpongeBob on a dolly)'' Out you go, boy. 

'''SpongeBob''': But my knowledge could help Patrick maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab. 

Mr. Krabs: We've got it all under control here. I don't ever want to see hide or tail of you again 'until your vacation is over. You got
that? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, boy... ''(launches SpongeBob off)'' ..off you go! And don't come back 'until it's over. ''(scene cuts to SpongeBob
entering his house)'']] 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, what to do, what to do. I know just the thing to get the spirits up. The official Krusty Krab Playset. ''(sits
down in front of a toy Krusty Krab with figures of the Krusty Krew. Opens it up)'' 

Squidward toy: SpongeBob, I want 20 Krabby Patties on the double, please. 

'''SpongeBob''': Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby Patties coming right up. 

Mr. Krabs toy: SpongeBob, what do you think you're doing here? You're going to cost me some loot if you don't get your square keister home. Out, out, out until your vacation is over. ''(takes SpongeBob's Krusty Krab hat off as he did before. SpongeBob walks home, sad)'' 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(walking inside his pineapple)'' Oh, what to do on this boring vacation. Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol'
spirits up. ''(plays with a smaller Krusty Krab playset)'' 

Squidward toy: I want 20 Krabby Patties, please. 

'''SpongeBob''': Sure thing, old' buddy, old' Squid. 20 Krabby Patties coming right up... 

Gary: Meow. 

'''SpongeBob''': You're right, Gary. It is unhealthy to think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the
house. ''(scene cuts to Krusty Krab where Squidward is washing windows until he sees SpongeBob)'' 

Squidward: Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again. 

Mr. Krabs: I'll deal with this. Boy, you're on Krusty Krab property. Back it up. ''(SpongeBob steps backwards)'' Further. ''(steps
backwards more)'' Further. ''(steps backwards more)'' Further. ''(steps backwards more)'' Further. ''(Mr. Krabs continues yelling "Further" until SpongeBob is in front of his house)'' That'll do. 

'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally. ''(looks
at his net)'' Hey, that reminds me of...yeah. ''(his net turns into a spatula. Pretends to grill but stops)'' Hold it right there, Mr.
WorkaholicPants. You're on vacation. You just need to sit down and relax. ''(floats onto the ground)'' That's more like it.
Just sit back and watch the clouds. ''(watches a cloud go by, resembling a jellyfish)'' That one's a jellyfish! ''(another cloud goes by, resembling a pirate ship)'' That's a pirate ship. ''(another cloud goes by, it says "Low Salt Ketchup")'' And that's a low salt ketchup-- whoa! Low salt ketchup? ''(scene cuts to Krusty Krab where a delivery truck backs up. SpongeBob, in a disguise, walks up to the kitchen door)'' I Got your steaming, hot bun delivery here. ''(another delivery truck backs up. A delivery fish gets out with the same buns on a plate)'' 

[[Delivery Fish]]: Eh? What's the big idea here? ''(SpongeBob laughs nervously then gets booted out, biting sound. Scene cuts to the phone
ringing inside the Krusty Krab. Patrick answers)'' 

'''Patrick''': Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? ''(SpongeBob slips through phone cord and through Patrick's head but gets shot out of the Krusty Krab, through the doors. Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab restroom where Patrick is cleaning out his ear)'' Hmm, I didn't
even know I had an ear. ''(notices water splashing out from the toilet behind him)'' Hey, I just cleaned that one. 

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, shhh. 

'''Patrick''': It talks! Ahh! ''(runs out)'' 

'''SpongeBob''': Somebody help me, I'm stuck. ''(Mr. Krabs walks up)'' Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here.
''(Mr. Krabs grabs a cord above the toilet)'' Mr. Krabs? ''(Mr. Krabs flushes the toilet)'' Noooo!! ''(gets flushed down the toilet. Scene
cuts to SpongeBob jumping out of a customer's shirt and into the grease fryer in the kitchen)'' Uh-oh. 

Mr. Krabs: Now what? ''(picks up the fryer)'' Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. ''(puts SpongeBob in his boat out back)'' Had enough for one day,
son. ''(drives off)'' 

'''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Not a problem at all, me boy. 

'''SpongeBob''': Just take the next right. ''(Mr. Krabs drives past SpongeBob's house)'' Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off. 

Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. 

'''SpongeBob''': My house is back that way, Mr. K. 

Mr. Krabs: Far out, little man. Far out. ''(drives into a forest and stops)'' 

'''SpongeBob''': Where'd you say you were taking me? 

Mr. Krabs: Look boy, ''(takes out a spatula)'' I brought your spatuler. ''(SpongeBob glares at the spatula and acts like a dog)''
C'mon, boy, c'mon. Now, get it, boy. Get it. Get the spatuler. Go get it! ''(throws the spatula into the forest. SpongeBob chases after it while Mr.
Krabs turns around and drives off)'' Enjoy your vacation, boy! 

'''SpongeBob''': It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me. I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a--
''(gasps)'' -permanent vacation. That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I should've known. Patrick's had his eye on my
job all along. He's been scheming. They think I'm outdated. They think I'm all washed up. Well, I'll show them. ''(scene cuts
to Patrick running down the street to his rock)'' 

'''Patrick''': ''(singing)'' Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working patties krab...that's a hard song to remember. ''(opens his rock and jumps in)'' Huh?

'''SpongeBob''': ''(sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock)'' Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so. 

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob? Is that you? 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(turns around with an crazy look on his face)'' I've been waiting for you, Patrick! ''(walks towards Patrick and growls like a monster)'' 

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, you're scaring me. Aaaaaahhh! ''(SpongeBob laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick. Scene cuts to Krusty Krab)'' 

Squidward: What'll it be? 

Customer: One Krabby Patty, please. 

Squidward: One shell on a shingle. ''(many orders come out)'' 

Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your cooking's improved one-thousand fold. Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the
hang of it. Whoa...! ''(Patrick turns around but it's SpongeBob is disguised in a Patrick costume)'' SpongeBob? No wonder. Patrick could never flip that many patties in an hour. What happened to that feller, anyway? 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I specifically told him to stay home and watch television. ''(Patrick is sitting at home laughing and watching a broken TV)'' 

Mr. Krabs: Why'd you do it, laddy? 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(starts to cry)'' Oh, Mr. Krabs, I love the putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much, I just couldn't stay away. 

Mr. Krabs: You don't have to. ''(takes out a calendar)'' Your accumulated vacation time is all used up. ''(tears up calendar)'' The
union can't fine me, anymore. 

'''SpongeBob''': You must've saved a fortune. 

Mr. Krabs: Bumping barnacles, yes. ''(laughs and holds up a dime)'' And there she is. 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow! That's more than I make in a year. 

Mr. Krabs: Don't be askin' me for a raise. Just get back to work. 

'''SpongeBob''': ''(jumps out of the Patrick costume)'' Yippee! I happily acquiesce.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: 20,000 Patties Under the Sea

2015-08-18T00:25:51Z

73.226.24.183: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[20,000 Patties Under the Sea (Episode)|20,000 Patties Under the Sea]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Sea Monster]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*Plankton's customers
*Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick's customers
*[[Jack M. Crazyfish]]

==Dialogue==
(in Jellyfish Fields)

'''SpongeBob''': Breaker, breaker outer perimeter, looks clear. Over.

'''Patrick''': Robert, Robert...uhh...Ronald, Ronald. Ryan.

'''SpongeBob''': Are you sure you're not trying to say Roger?

'''Patrick''': Oh, wait I got it. Ringo...

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we have visual contact. Now taking evasive action. Subject still in close proximity. Over.

'''Patrick''': Hello?

'''SpongeBob''': Please reply.

'''Patrick''': I wonder if I can order pizza with these things.

'''SpongeBob''': Please, contact imminent Patrick. Respond now. Please. Please!

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, you're going to need to speak up. My eardrums aren't what they used to be.

'''SpongeBob''': But I can't speak up Patrick, there's a jellyfish here and I'm worried it might sting me if I make any loud... (SpongeBob bumps Patrick and he screams)... noises.

'''Patrick''': Oops. (they run away. The jellyfish shrugs it off.)

'''SpongeBob''': Is he still after us, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': I don't know, buddy.

'''SpongeBob''': Should we turn around and check?

'''Patrick''': Ok. (they trip over something)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I think I landed on my pain center.

'''Patrick''': I think I landed on a rock.

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, look! There's a weird thing sticking out of the ground right there.

'''Patrick''': That's just Squidward sunbathing again. (Squidward lowers down his sunglasses)

'''SpongeBob''': No, not that, Patrick. This!

'''Patrick''': What is it?

'''SpongeBob''': I don't know. I think there's something buried underneath it. And I'm gonna go get some shovels so we can dig it up.

'''Patrick''': We?

(cut to large piles of dirt)

'''SpongeBob''': Phew! Nothing like a little manual labor to put some hair on your chest, eh, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': I'll say. (his entire chest is covered with hair)

'''SpongeBob''': Plus, look at what we unearthed! A UFO! (look inside) Go on, you first. (Patrick climbs down a ladder) Kinda dark, huh?

'''Patrick''': Yeah, dark.

'''SpongeBob''': Well, there has to be a light switch around here somewhere. Found it. Excuse me, sir. (pulls off a skeleton and proceeds to start the submarine) Hey, Patrick, look! We're moving! And here's the steering wheel!

'''Patrick''': Hold it, SpongeBob. You better let me drive.

'''SpongeBob''': Gimme that wheel!

'''Patrick''': No! Let go! I wanna drive! (the submarine goes crazy)

(scene cuts to the Krusty Krab)

'''Mr. Krabs''': I don't understand, Squidward. Where are all the customers? I know the Krusty Krab isn't Bikini Bottom's most prostegious eatery, but at least it's better than that salty old Chum Bucket across the street. And that's our only competition.

'''Squidward''': Am I getting paid extra for this conversation?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, come on, Squidward. Can't you just pretend to listen just for once in your life? Do it for old Mr. Krabs.

'''Squidward''': Well, since you can't bring any customers into the Krusty Krab, have you ever thought about bringing the Krusty Krab to the customers?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Quiet, Squidward, I'm brainstorming! Ooh, ooh! What if instead of bringing customers to the Krusty Krab, we could bring the Krusty Krab to the customers?

'''Squidward''': La la la la la la la la la la la la la.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes, of course! But how? (the submarine crashes into the Krusty Krab)

'''SpongeBob''': Can we park here? Hey, Mr. Krabs! Look what Patrick and I found! We're gonna use it to go on a long journey.

'''Patrick''': Or even around the block!

'''Mr. Krabs''': That's it! We'll take the Krusty Krab on the road. (cut to outside) So long, lad. Make me lots of money!

'''SpongeBob''': Bye, Squidward. Bye, Mr. Krabs. (dreamily) Bye, Squidward.

'''Patrick''': You said "Bye, Squidward" twice.

'''SpongeBob''': I like Squidward.

'''Plankton''': (looking through a telescope) A traveling restaurant, eh? It's not fair! I had that idea years ago! No matter. If Mr. Krabs wants to play dirty, then Plankton's ready for his turn to take........ his turn. (laughs and turns the fist from the Chum Bucket building into a flying vehicle)

'''SpongeBob''': Hello!

'''Man''': Hello.

'''SpongeBob''': Could I interest you in a Krabby Patty?

'''Man''': No thanks.

'''Patrick''': Now what?

'''SpongeBob''': I don't know, Patrick. Mr. Krabs said if we didn't find customers, not to come back. (to Con Man) Uh, are you sure you don't want to be out first customer, sir?

'''Man''': Yeah, I'm pretty sure. (walks away)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait! We'll pay you!

'''Man''': Hey, thanks again, you guys. Good luck with the restaurant!

'''SpongeBob''': Thank you, very much sir, come again soon!

'''Plankton''': Those nincompoops are better salesmen than I suspected. (an alarm sets off)

'''Voice''': Customer approaching.

'''Plankton''': Hello, little boy. Would you like a chum burger?

'''Boy''': Uh, does it come in raspberry?

'''Plankton''': Um, no.

'''Boy''': Blueberry?

'''Plankton''': (Angrily) No.

'''Boy''': Uh...raspberry?

'''Plankton''': Ah, come on, kid. You asked me that already!!!! Now quit wasting my time!!!

'''Lady Fish''': Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are!!?

'''Plankton''': I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers!!!

'''Man Fish''': Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way!!! What do you think this is!?!?!

Plankton: It's time for you to lose some weight fatty!! That's what this is.

'''Grandma''': Hey, you can't talk about my grandson that way! Somebody oughta put you in a mental hospital.

'''Plankton''': Somebody should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma!!

'''Grandma''': You're probably right.

'''Plankton''': You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here. (people start throwing rocks) What the? No! Controls malfunctioning!

'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick.

'''Patrick''': Yeah?

'''SpongeBob''': Weren't you supposed to be on kitchen duty? (cut to the kitchen, where the patties are burnt) Oh, no. You burnt all the patties. It's hard as a rock. How are we going to find someone who would buy these?

'''Man Fish''': Hey, the rocks are all gone.

'''Crowd''': Aww! (Plankton smiles)

'''SpongeBob''': Folks, have I got a deal for you. (the crowd sees the hard patties. they buy them and proceed to hit Plankton with them)

'''Jack''': Alright, let's get him!

'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs is going to be so proud of us when he finds out how good we're doing. Did you see any new customers, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': No, but I see a sign. It says. "Warning: Ab... eyes?"

'''SpongeBob''': Let me see. (looks through periscope) No, Patrick, that says "Abyss."

'''Patrick''': OK. What's an abyss, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': An abyss is a bottomless...(the submarine falls down the abyss)...chasm! (an alarm goes off) Pat, we're falling!

'''Patrick''': And now we're being bathed in an eerie red light!

'''Plankton''': (sees it falling) Yes! Yes!

'''Patrick''': And now a deafening warning siren! (SpongeBob imitates the sound. the submarine hits a sludgy item, which turns out to be the head of the Sea Monster)

'''Sea Monster''': (shouts)

'''SpongeBob''': Look, Patrick! We've floated back up, out of the deep, dark, depressing, horrible abyss! (looks at the Sea Monster)

'''Sea Monster''': Hey! Who are you calling dark and depressing?

'''SpongeBob''': We didn't mean it that way, Mr. Sea Monster, sir! What we really want to know is... are you hungry?

'''Sea Monster''': Hungry? I've been asleep for 79 years. Which means my final meal was 79 years ago. Yes, I'm hungry.

'''SpongeBob''': Then try one of our Krabby Patties.

'''Sea Monster''': Mmm! That's the best thing I've tasted since that sewer spill...back in '76. I'll take 640 of them.

'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': Woo hoo!

'''Patrick''': Order...uh...up. (the Sea Monster gives them large wads of cash)

'''Plankton''': Now that those two are out of the picture, all of the customers will come running to me. (looks at the Sea Monster paying them) This calls for drastic, uh.. rish... measures! Okay, you bums, time for the second course; Chum Charges!

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Our hull's been breached. Do you know what that means?

'''SpongeBob''': No!

'''Patrick''': Neither do I!

'''Plankton''': Yes! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the...(the vehicle crashes into a cavern wall) Ah, who needs that Rust Bucket anyhow. (Takes out a parachute)

'''Sea Monster''': Come on in there! I want more sandwiches!

'''Patrick''': (a piece of chum enters) SpongeBob, look!

'''SpongeBob''': What is it?

'''Patrick''': It's a liquid.

'''SpongeBob''': No, it's a solid! It's a solid!

'''SpongeBob''' and '''Patrick''': It's a "lol-squid."

'''Sea Monster''': All right, what's going on in there? Hey, that looks like a sandwich to me!

'''SpongeBob''': But not just a sandwich. It's a...Chumwich.

'''Sea Monster''': (eats it) Mmm! Now that's a sandwich!

(cut to a sequence of SpongeBob making Chumwiches, Patrick collecting the Chum, and the Sea Monster paying them for the Chumwiches)

'''SpongeBob''': Anything else before we shove off?

'''Sea Monster''': I want dessert!

'''SpongeBob''': We don't have desserts.

'''Plankton''': (lands from his parachute) Don't give another penny to those fast-food phonies. That's right, they stole my idea. My, my, my...(falls down and rolls into some mud)

'''Sea Monster''': Hey, a chocolate eclair! Now that looks like dessert to me!

'''Plankton''': No! No, no, no, no! You've got it all wrong, see... Hey! (the Sea Monster chases Plankton)

(cut to the Krusty Krab)

'''Janitor''': (repairing the windows SpongeBob and Patrick broke previously) There you are, Mr. Krabs, just like new again.

'''Squidward''': Now all we have to do is keep SpongeBob away from the...(the submarine crashes into the windows. Janitor looks disappointedly at the window)

'''SpongeBob''': We're back, Mr. Krabs!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Tell me all about it. Please, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!

'''SpongeBob''': You wouldn't believe it, we had so many new customers!

'''Mr. Krabs''': I don't really care about that. Tell me about the money.

'''SpongeBob''': There we were at the bottom of a deep, dark, abyss. And we had to let go of something heavy.

'''Patrick''': And paper.

'''Mr. Krabs''': You let go of all the money I earned as ballast?

'''SpongeBob''': (he and Patrick nod their heads) But on the bright side, we did manage to bring back 37,000 pounds of these decorative deep sea rocks!

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: I Had an Accident

2015-08-18T00:20:32Z

73.226.24.183: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Born Again Krabs|Born Again Krabs]]
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Episode Article: [[I Had an Accident (Episode)|I Had an Accident]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Chip]]
*[[Penny]]
*[[Used Napkin]]
*[[Dr. Gill Gilliam]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Gorilla]]
*[[George the Zebra]]

==Dialogue==

'''Video Game Patrick''': (screaming, bashes body on mountain) 

'''Patrick''': (playing a video game with his character while sliding at [[Sand Mountain]]). Aw, I got dead again. This game stinks. (screams and bashes body on mountain) 

Sandy: See, that's why you must always pay attention to the mountain. 

SpongeBob: I'm listening to you, mountain! Don't eat the yellow sand, Patrick! 

'''Patrick''': Oh yeah, I forgot. (eats yellow sand on a plate) 

SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy, watch me do the "Grouchy Squidward"! 

Squidward: Stop naming moves after me. 

SpongeBob: (imitating Squidward) Everybody's an idiot except for me. 

Squidward: Well, it's true. 

SpongeBob: (laughs like Squidward) 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': (laughing) 

Sandy: (stops laughing and sees a tree. She gasps.) SpongeBob! Look out for that tree! 

SpongeBob: (stops laughing) Huh? (skips tree) Don't worry guys. Everything's under control. Cause I'm an (goes off mountain) EXPERT!!! 

SpongeBob: That's funny. Someone turned the mountain upside down. (camera reveals that SpongeBob is upside down and not the mountain. He starts to fall.) AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! 

Sandy: SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall! 

SpongeBob: (turns around to feet first then takes off his pants) Like this? 

'''Patrick''': No, your other bottom! 

Sandy: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? 

'''Patrick''': Not until four. 

SpongeBob: (crashes, and his butt falls apart. Patrick and Sandy are covered in splinters) 

Sandy: Oh! That's gotta hurt. 

'''Patrick''': Do it again! I wasn't looking! (Sandy glares at him) 

(scene cuts to the hospital) 

Dr. Gill Gilliam: Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery. 

SpongeBob: My what has a what now? 

Dr. Gill Gilliam: Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing. It took us 20 hours to put it all back together. We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick. Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky luck boy. But, from now on, I would like you to be more careful. You get one more injury like that, and you will wind up like that poor creature there. In the [[Iron Butt]]. 

Tom: (in the Iron Butt) Aw, man. It itches. 

SpongeBob: (outside hospital) You heard the doctor, SpongeBob. One more injury like that, and it's the iron butt. I've been too careless back there. From now on, I am on around the clock butt patrol! (To fish) Hep! Step away from the backside, I'm warning you! 

Harold: What's your problem? (walks away) 

SpongeBob: Aah. That was close! 

(whistle blows in the background) 

Football player: Hey, SpongeBob, wanna join us? We need an extra player. (another football player catches a football) Nice catch, Percy! (slaps Percy's butt) 

SpongeBob: (gasps) 

Fish: Hey, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 

Fish: You gotta try this, dude! Ha! We finally got enough people for a seven mile spanking machine! Ha! (goes under, people start spanking his butt) Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! 

Fish #2: Next. 

SpongeBob: No! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (running to his house) 

(Squidward walks up) 

Squidward: Is this where the line starts? 

SpongeBob: My butt is not safe out here! (goes inside his house and looks out the window) No part of me is safe! (closes curtain) 

(cut to outside the front of SpongeBob's house, where Sandy and Patrick are still sand boarding) 

'''Patrick''': Whoo-hoo! 

Sandy Yeah! Ride em' cowboy! (Patrick starts laughing) 

(they go inside SpongeBob's house and get off the board) 

Sandy: (laughs) Hey, SpongeBob! 

'''Patrick''': (is still laughing, and Sandy looks angrily at him. Stops laughing and clears throat.) That was fun. 

Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, you ready to go sand boardin' again? SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Hello, friends. Enjoying the outside world? 

Sandy: What'cha all doing sittin' in the middle of the floor like that? 

SpongeBob: Oh, living out the remainder of my life... in safety. If you guys were smart, you would join me. That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor. And so I've simply decided I am never leaving my house again. 

Sandy: That's crazy talk! 

'''Patrick''': That's not crazy talk. This is crazy talk! (talks very weird acting stupid, and Sandy punches his head into his torso.) Sorry. 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick's right, Sandy. You saw what happened to me. And next time it won't just be my butt. It'll be my armpit or my forehead. 

'''Patrick''': Or your other armpit! 

SpongeBob: I was wrong to go against nature. I'm a sponge! What was I thinking? Walking. My people are sedentary. 

Sandy: Just sittin' in your house? Ain't you going to get lonesome? 

SpongeBob: I won't be lonesome. I've got all the friends I want right here. This is Penny... and Chip... and say hello to Used Napkin. 

Sandy: Well, how are you going to keep your job at the [[Krusty Krab]]? 

SpongeBob: No problem! A really long spatula. 

Sandy: What about eatin'? 

SpongeBob: I'm a sponge! I'll just filter feed. (breathes in a different way) 

Sandy: SpongeBob, sooner or later you're going to have to go outside! 

SpongeBob: Listen, I already told you that I am not leaving my house again. 

'''Patrick''': Never ever? 

SpongeBob: Never ever ever! 

'''Patrick''': Never never ever ever for never ever?! 

SpongeBob: Never ever never never ever ever never!! 

'''Patrick''': Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?! (SpongeBob sighs) 

SpongeBob and '''Patrick''': Never ever never never ever never ever never..... 

SpongeBob: D'alright Patrick, that is enough!!! Chip, will you escort these two to the door? (throws Chip to the door) 

'''Patrick''': Thank you, Chip. (outside) I guess I'll have to find a new best friend. Hey, Squidward! 

Squidward: No! 

'''Patrick''': Okay. 

Sandy: Don't worry, Patrick. We'll get SpongeBob to come outside, and then he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of. 

'''Patrick''': And that's when I punch him, right? (Sandy gives a serious look) 

Sandy: Look at all the jellyfish out here! Too bad SpongeBob's missing out on all the fun! 

'''Patrick''': I caught one! I caught one! (puts head in net) huh? 

SpongeBob: (Patrick screaming in background) Look at those fools. Risking their lives, jellyfishing. My new hobby is much more safer, isn't it Chip. Dust collecting! (brings out a tiny net and waves it in the air) I think I caught one! 

Sandy: We gotta try somethin' else. 

(cut to Sandy and Patrick in SpongeBob's front yard with a birthday cake with candles lit on it) 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': Three cheers on your birthday, SpongeBob! Three cheers for you! 

Sandy: Now you have to blow out the candles and make a wish. 

SpongeBob: I don't want a wish, Penny. All I ever wanted is right here. In fact, let's sing our own song about the magic of being indoors. 

Music: "[[Indoors (Song)|Indoors]]"
I know of a place
Where you never get harmed
A magical place
With magical charms
Indoors
Indoors
Indoors...

SpongeBob: Take it away, Penny! 

'''Patrick''': That penny has the most beautiful voice. 

Sandy: That is it, Spongebob SquarePants! We're going to find something that's so dang fun that you'll have to come outside! 

(cut to outside SpongeBob's house) 

Sandy: Trampoline! 

'''Patrick''': Ice cream! 

Sandy: Underwater surfing! 

'''Patrick''': Two ice creams! 

Sandy: Ferris wheel! 

'''Patrick''': (The two ice creams are melting) Still two ice creams! 

Sandy: Clam wrestling! 

'''Patrick''': Washing an old person! 

Sandy: Patrick, that's not fun! 

Old man: It is for me! 

SpongeBob: (breathing differently as before) 

Sandy: Nothing's working, Patrick! 

'''Patrick''': What do we do? 

Old man: I say we take a bath! 

Sandy: What the? Will you get outta here? 

Sandy: Now, remember. Don't jump out 'until I give the signal. 

'''Patrick''': Right. (Zips the gorilla suit) 

Sandy: Okay, SpongeBob. You win. Stay inside forever. Yours is truly the iron will. Now, Pat! 

'''Patrick''': (comes out in a gorilla suit and acts like a gorilla) 

Sandy: Eek! A gorilla! Save me, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Okay, you guys, really. This is your saddest attempt yet. Even though Chip knows that's Patrick in the same costume that he wore for Halloween last year. 

Sandy: No, really! You gotta come save me! 

(another Patrick walks up) 

Patrick #2: Hey, Sandy. Who's your friend? 

SpongeBob: (gives a startled look) 

Sandy: But you're supposed to be in the gorilla suit. 

Patrick #1: (unzips the gorilla suit) I am in the gorilla suit. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. 

Sandy: But if you're Patrick, well then who's that? 

Patrick #2: (unzips Patrick suit, turns out to be a real gorilla) 

Sandy: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! A real gorilla! 

SpongeBob: Huh? 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Gorilla: (bags Sandy and Patrick and repeatedly hurts them) 

SpongeBob: No! 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! 

SpongeBob: Oh, my gosh! 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': AAAAAHHH!!! 

SpongeBob: This can't be happening! 

SpongeBob: This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about! Well, they were asking for it. It's not like I didn't warn them about the danger of outside. Yes, Chip, I know they're my two dearest friends in the world, but I told them, I wasn't going outside no matter what. We can do it without the name calling, thank you very much, Used Napkin. I know, Chip. If it wasn't me out there, bagged by an ape, Patrick and Sandy would risk anything to save me. And I've got to do the same for them. If I don't come back, Chip, take care of Gary. 

Gary: (eats Chip, killing him) Meow. 

SpongeBob: Well, here I go. Taking my first step. So far so good. I think I can do this! (a paper flies onto his face) Aah! Oh, Neptune, forgive me! Save me, Chip! Save me! (removes the paper off his face) I'm still alive! I, SpongeBob SquarePants, have survived the outdoors. Nothing can stop me now! Nothing! 

(Gorilla grabs SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: Is it too late to go back inside yet? 

(Gorilla rips SpongeBob in half) 

SpongeBob: Yep, it's too late. Sandy, Patrick? 

Sandy and '''Patrick''': (still bagged) Yes, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: I'm not afraid to go outside anymore. But I'm terrified of gorillas now. 

Sandy: It's okay, SpongeBob. Us too. 

First half of SpongeBob: You know what I don't understand, though? 

Second half of SpongeBob: What? 

First half of SpongeBob: What's a gorilla doing underwater anyway? 

Gorilla: Uh, well it's funny you should... I mean you could see that uh... George, they're onto us! 

(Gorilla runs away to George, an appaloosa horse.)

George: Let's get out of here! 

Sandy, Patrick and SpongeBob: (watch the gorilla ride the horse into the sunset) 

(TV zooms out to reveal a family watching this, the father gives a disgusted look and smartly turns off the TV with a remote.)

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]