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Episode Transcript: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!

2016-05-18T14:50:33Z

208.108.164.241:

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!" from season eight, which aired on December 6, 2012.

[A mail truck drives through the mountain range. Patchy the Pirate is driving the truck. He appears to be parodying S.D. Kluger from Santa Claus is Comin' to Town]
Patchy: Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter. So I gave Mr. Mailman the day off.
[He puts his pirate hat on the mailman, tied up and gagged in the back of the truck, puts on his mailman hat and closes the door]
Potty: Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?
Patchy: Oh, Potty, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." [Singing] Dashing through the snow, in a... [Mumbles] Through the fields we go. La la la la la. Okay. So we're looking for some fields here.
Potty: No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." [Singing] There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive, scurvy brain.
Patchy: Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.
Potty: Look out! There's a fork in the road!
Patchy: I don't see no fork.
[The truck spins after the fork gets caught in the wheel and they both scream.]
Patchy: While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.
[The camera zooms in on Bikini Bottom and into SpongeBob's pineapple house. SpongeBob and Gary are sleeping. SpongeBob's alarm clock goes off and sleigh bells are heard instead of the foghorn noise. SpongeBob wakes up.]
SpongeBob: [Singing] Oh, it's drawing very near. My favorite time of the year. [He jumps out of bed and up the ladder] The snow is falling and the cold wind blows. [He gets up on the diving board, and jumps on it] Christmas is almost here. [He jumps up, automatically removing his pajamas and changing into his square pants] And I know that Santa, Santa. Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! [He spins Christmas lights around his pineapple] It keeps me warm and filled with glee to know Santa has his eyes on me. I light my house like a Christmas tree. Fa la la la la la la la lee. 'cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little... [A Santa hat pops out of SpongeBob's head] Eyes on me.
[He walks over to Squidward's house where Squidward is putting up lights]
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward? What are you doing today?
Squidward: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms...[Turns the lights on] ...to GO AWAY!!!
SpongeBob: Okay... [Skips up to Patrick next to a box on a stick tied with string to a cookie]
SpongeBob: Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. He sees everything I do, with his left eye on me and his right eye on you!
SpongeBob: [sees the box] Ooh, what's that?
Patrick: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!
SpongeBob: Ooh. Baited with Christmas treats?
Patrick: [singing to the tune of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks. And then we'll have Christmas all year long!
Patrick: Hey, a cookie! [Patrick goes for the cookie and the box traps him.]
SpongeBob: Ohh... Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! Fa la la la la la la la la lee! [sees Sandy's treedome] And who is that I see? Underneath her Christmas tree?
Sandy: Oh, Christmas, oh, Christmas is sweet mystery. I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstructed alchemy.
SpongeBob: Merry Christmas, Sandy!
Sandy: Merry Christmas, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob skips to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly lttle eyes on me. Hi, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready for Christmas?
Mr. Krabs: Why, Christmas is me favorite time of the year! After all, 'tis the season of gettin'!
SpongeBob: Don't you mean the season of giving?
Mr. Krabs: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get. [Laughs]
Plankton: [Singing] Oh, Santa, Santa, Santa has his eye on me. He's seen everything I've done. Every plot, plan, and scheme. It's just a bit of fun. Santa has his eye on me. Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. So every Christmas morning, I get a stocking full of coal! [Dumps out coal from his stocking]
Karen: Maybe you'd get a real present from Santa if you hadn't been the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom.
Plankton: I'm way ahead of you, Karen! [Periodic Table lowers from the ceiling. Plankton walks over to it and sticks a piece of notepad paper on it. The paper says "Jt" for Jerktonium] There is one element in the known universe that is capable of completely transforming anyone in Bikini Bottom into donkeys! And I, Plankton have discovered it. Behold! [Plankton pulls a lever] Jerktonium! [A piece of Jerktonium contained in a glass capsule lowers from the ceiling] I'll give everyone in Bikini Bottom a present of the most innocent of all goodies. The fruitcake! Each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! As soon as it ingested, no one can help but transform completely into a donkey ever! Then Santa will realize that Sheldon J. Plankton isn't so bad after all! And then I'll get what I really want for Christmas: the Krabby Patty secret formula! [Plankton jumps on an oven and holds the fruitcake] And now for the main ingredient, JERKTONIUM! Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! It's complete! [Laughs] Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling, outraging fruitcake a breeze! Now, who's gonna be my first victim?
SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton! What've you got there? [Gasps] Hey! Is that a fruitcake dispenser? You don't suppose I could have a piece, do ya?
Plankton: Sure thing, fruitcake! Here you go! [Presses button on the dispenser as a robotic arm gives SpongeBob a fruitcake, but nothing happens!]
Plankton: Hot from the oven and full in lovin'!
SpongeBob: Ooh! Ooh! HOT! HOT! HOT! [Sighs as he takes a bite] Wow! This is great!
Plankton: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?
SpongeBob: No.
Plankton: Sorta surley?
SpongeBob: Mm-mm.
Plankton: Maybe just a little bit jerky?
SpongeBob: No. I feel just how this cake tastes! Absoulutely delicious!
Plankton: Hmm... He must have gotten a piece without jerktonium! Here. Have some more.
SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do! [He eats the fruitcake]
Plankton: How's your dander? Is it up?
SpongeBob: No. How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer? [He takes another piece; cut to inside of his mouth]
Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay!
Plankton: Grrr! Have some more! [He fires a piece into SpongeBob's mouth] Have a whole loaf! [The arm stuffs a loaf into SpongeBob's mouth] Have a baker's dozen! [He fires many fruitcakes into SpongeBob's mouth] Well?
SpongeBob: Well … [He swallows] I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake!
Plankton: You know what? Knock yourself out. [He throws SpongeBob the keys to the dispenser] Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to Bikini Bottom. Boy, oh, boy. [He goes back into the Chum Bucket]
SpongeBob: [Rides the dispenser up to 3 carolers] Hello, fellow revelers! Would you like a Christmas treat?
Bill: Why, sure, SpongeBob!
Fish 2: Yeah, who doesn't like treats?
SpongeBob: [Dives into the dispenser and emerges with a plate of fruitcake] Nothing loosens up the old pipes like some fruitcake. Dig in!
[They all take a piece]
Fish 2: It's like a present for my mouth!
SpongeBob: I knew you'd like it.
Bill: [Grows donkey ears and a tail, bushy eyebrows, bags under his eyes, a five-o'clock shadow, and completely transforms into a donkey] Hey! Did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake? Hee-haw!
Fish 2: Whoa, calm down, Bill! What do you want to sing?
Bill: Well, I want to sing the only Christmas song that matters, and that's “Jingle Bells”. From the top! A one and a two and a –
Fish 3: [Transforms into a donkey] No, hold your holly! We're singing the best Christmas song ever, and that's “Silver Bells”! Hee-haw
Bill: Wrong bells, buddy!
Fish 2: [Transforms into a donkey] Hey, I want to sing “Randolph the Red-Nosed Seahorse”! Hee-haw!
[They all continue to argue and bray like donkeys]
SpongeBob: [Driving away, failing to notice that the fruitcakes have been contaminated with jerktonium] Great to see people so passionate about the holidays.
Plankton: [Emerges from the Chum Bucket on a unicycle] What's all the racket? What do you know? The Jerktonium seems to work only on other people. How very interesting.
[Cut to a shot of a Christmas parade in town]
SpongeBob: Oh boy, a Christmas parade! The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy. [Singing] Oh, everyone, try some hot fruitcake today. Eat it all up and you will shout “Hooray!”!
Bikini Bottomites: Yay!
SpongeBob: Everyone can get behind a mouthful of warm sunshine, everyone eat a Christmas time cliché. [People start transforming into donkeys. Somebody pops a kid's balloon. Another person smashes a gift over somebody's head. Pearl transforms into a donkey and squirts water at passersby, saying, "Hee-haw! Hee-haw!"] Everyone can get behind a mouthful of Christmas time, let's all eat some hot fruitcake today!
Plankton: [Cycling through the rioting town filled with donkeys] This just keeps getting better and better.
Costumed Santa: [On a float, with a boy on his knee] Ho ho ho! So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas?
Boy: I want a sled and truck and a bike and a train...
SpongeBob: Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake. [He throws a piece]
Boy: And a water pistol and a helicopter and – and, uh...
Costumed Santa: [Transforms into a donkey] Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself? And while you're at it try brushing your teeth, you little -
SpongeBob: Have some fruitcake! [Hands a piece to the float driver]
Driver: Thanks! [He transforms into a donkey, which shocks him in surprise] That's it! I'm out of here! [He panickedly leaves the float and it crashes off the end of a cliff]
Boy: [Bouncing on the Costumed Santa's belly] Wheeee! Oh yeah, and I want a trampoline!
Plankton: Success! Soon all the Bikini Bottomites will transform into donkeys! Now I just need to figure out what to do about old SpongeBoy.
[Cut to Plankton's lab]
Karen: Once again your master plan has failed completely to suffice. [She brings up a diagram] This is why SpongeBob's innocent love of the holidays prevents his heart from experiencing the effects of Jerktonium.
SpongeBob Diagram: Dahahaha! That tickles.
Plankton: Dagnabit! That square-head's going to throw my whole naughty to nice curve right off! I guess it's time to introduce Plan B. [He pulls a lever and transfers an evil spirit known as the giant SpongeBob robot that drops from the ceiling] Hahahahaha! Plan B, meet Karen. Now go, my automated agent of naughtiness, go and destroy SpongeBob's good name! [He laughs evilly but nothing happens] Huh? Oh yeah. [He winds up a key in its back]
ToyBob: I am ready! I am ready! I am ready! Ready to destroy Christmas! [Flames shoot from his nose. He leaves the Chum Bucket and destroys a car, then heads for the Krusty Krab]
Mr. Krabs: What's goin' on out here? Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. [ToyBob detonates the Krusty Krab sign, which collapses on Mr. Krabs, who screams]
Plankton: Oh, SpongeBob, you've been a bad, bad toy!
[Meanwhile, Plankton shoves the donkeys down a chute, into crates, and onto the boat]
Plankton: Come on! Keep them moving! Finally there now, we haven't got all night! Come on, come on! Let's have another! [One of his minions pulls a donkey toward him] And what's your name?
Donkey: Hee-haw! ("Haw-hee!")
Plankton: OK, you'll do! [He tears the clothing off the donkey and throws him into a crate with five others.] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [Chuckles evilly] All right! Next! [Another donkey in a sailor suit is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?
Donkey: Alexander.
Plankton: So, you can talk?
Alexander: Y-Yes, sir. I want to go home to my mama!
Plankton: Take him away! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that can still talk]
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. [The others beg and plead] Let me out of here!
Plankton: QUIET!!! [Cracks his whip] You've had your fun. Now pay for it!
[The mail truck is still spinning out of control and finally comes to rest. The bound and gagged mailman escapes and jumps away]
Patchy: I can't believe we survived that horrifying car accident without a scratch. [He gets out of the truck and slips on the ice] Ow! [He notices the fork in the tire] Aw, here's the problem. Oh, that's not good. Flat tire, huh? Looks as sad as an empty bag of beef. Brrr! It's cold up here. Why don't you kids at home go make a nice hot cup of cocoa while Potty builds me a fire?
[End of part one; now to part two with a scene of Potty and Patchy huddled around a fire]
Patchy: [Shivering] Hello, kiddies. It's so cold, me eye patch cracked. There hasn't been any food or water, food or food for over 20 minutes. [Coughs] Boy, I could sure go for some buffalo wings right about now. Sounds good. Eh, Potty? [He looks at Potty, imagining him as a plate of buffalo wings] With a side of blue cheese dressing. [He grabs a fork, licks his lips, and lunges at Potty who flies up and Patchy bites on the log Potty is sitting on]
Potty: Squawk! What are you doing?
Patchy: I'm sorry, Potty, I don't know what got into me. I'm just so hungry!
Potty: It's OK, Patchy, I can't stay mad at you. [He imagines Patchy's head as a suet cake and licks his beak]
Patchy: Why are you looking at me like that, bird? [Potty pecks at his head] What are you doing?
[Cut to SpongeBob's storyline; SpongeBob is riding the dispenser through Bikini Bottom and comes across the three carolers he first gave Plankton's fruitcake to who have completely transformed into donkeys]
SpongeBob: Merry Christmas, fellas!
Bill: Ah, go stuff a stocking! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
SpongeBob: Gee. That wasn't very nice. [He drives past Mr. Krabs, who is mending the Krusty Krab sign] Seasons greetings, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Will you get some nerve, SpongeBob! This is comin' outta yer salary!
SpongeBob: What's that all about? [He drives up to Patrick, who is setting another trap] Hey, Patrick! What're you up to?
Patrick: [who has completely transformed into a donkey] I think it's pretty obvious, SpongeBob! [He eats a slice of fruitcake] I'm eating fruitcake and setting a tiger trap for Santa! Now, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now.
SpongeBob: Yeesh, OK. Don't have to transform into a donkey about it. Everybody's on edge today. Must be the holiday jitters.
Patrick: Nosy-body. [He falls into his own trap] Yay, it works! Hello, big striped shrimp. [He screams as it attacks him]
[The next morning, SpongeBob steps outside]
SpongeBob: Ah, Christmas Eve! When all of Bikini Bottom is filled with good will.
Fish 5: Merry Christmas, Frankie.
Frankie: Merry Christmas to you, too, Johnny. [Throws a snowball in Johnny's face]
SpongeBob: More like bad will! Gosh, if people start behaving like donkeys, Santa's going to fly right past Bikini Bottom this Christmas Eve! I'm gonna need some help. [He runs back to the pool hall to warn Squidward what has happened to the resdients in Bikini Bottom. He knocks on Squidward's door] Squidward!
Squidward: [From inside] I'm not home!
SpongeBob: Oh gosh, what do I do now?
Squidward: Why don't you go bother Sandy?
SpongeBob: Good idea, Squidward. I'll have to thank you when you get home. [He leaves, and ToyBob walks up to Squidward's house, pounding on the door]
Squidward: I said I'm not home! [ToyBob wrenches the door off its hinges] SpongeBob, give me back my door! [ToyBob smashes it over Squidward's head]
[Cut to Sandy's treedome]
SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy! I need your help! It's Christmas Eve and everyone in Bikini Bottom are behaving like donkeys! You gotta help me find out why.
Sandy: [Transforms completely into a donkey, then turns around and bares her teeth, scaring SpongeBob, except that she isn't a donkey after all] Why should I help all them donkeys?
SpongeBob: Because those jerks don't care about Christmas any more, Sandy! They've all been turned into donkeys! It's a problem.
Sandy: Problem? My only problem is I'm out of fruitcake. Only thing I've got left to eat are boring old nuts. [She throws one at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Oh, the problem is not only the fruitcake! The problem is that everyone, including you, is transforming into donkeys! Oh, I'll have to solve this on my own. [He turns to leave but he trips on a flagstone, accidentally throwing the fruitcake into Sandy's Christmas analyzer] Whoa!
Sandy: Now look what you've done, SpongeBob! You got fruitcake in my Christmas magic analyser! [An alarm sounds] Well, I'll be hornswaggled. My analyzer's found something in the fruitcake! [She looks at the reading and gasps] This is terrible!
SpongeBob: What is it, Sandy?
Sandy: This indicates that the fruitcake is contaminated with jerktonium! No wonder I've been as ornery as a sidewinder on a hot driveway. Jerktonium is the worst element of them all because your fruitcake is full of it. Where'd you get that fruitcake, anyway?
SpongeBob: From Plankton, he baked it.
Sandy: You took food from Plankton and fed it to everyone in town?
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Sandy: You're an idiot.
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Sandy: No wonder everyone in town is a big old meanie.
SpongeBob: Oh! I've eaten tons of that fruitcake! I must be the biggest jerk in town!
Sandy: [Pokes him] Hmm … I don't think so. For some strange reason, it's not affecting you anymore. [She puts a scanner in front of him] It's all because of the combination of your tiny brain and pure heart. Everyone knows you're immune to jerktonium, SpongeBob, but the rest of us will need an antidote. I'll set the analyzer to calculate the formula. [She pulls a switch and a music score pops out] Why, this formula for the antidote don't make no sense at all!
SpongeBob: Hmm… That's not a formula! That's a song! [He hums it, and Sandy becomes her normal self] Sandy! The song is the antidote!
[Cut to downtown Bikini Bottom, where people are still rioting and braying like donkeys]
Fish 6: Oh yeah? Well your fins are fat! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Fish 7: Says who? Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
SpongeBob: Ahoy, everybody! SpongeBob here! Christmas needs presents and mistletoe, sharing and caring. So during this most festive season, please, don't be a donkey.
[He clicks his fingers and mistletoe appears over the heads of the two fish he fed Plankton's fruitcake to, curing them of being completely transformed into donkeys and of jerktonium poisoning. He clicks again and a pile of presents appears, curing two other fish. A little boy begins to play Christmas baubles like bells]
SpongeBob: [Singing] Bring joy to the world, it's the thing to do, but the world does not revolve around you. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! There's a sign above the line that says "Express" that means ten items or less. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! [Throws a snowball at Mr Krabs and cures him] Be nice to babies and animals, old folks, too. 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you! Use turn signals. Don't screen my calls. Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls. Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe. Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! It's Christmas! [Hands a gift to Pearl, who continues to pass it down a line, curing people from turning into donkeys as they receive it, except for Squidward, who remains completely unaffected]
SpongeBob: When others are talking, never interrupt. Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up. It's the time for families and holly and turkey. 'Tis the season to be jolly; not jerky!
SpongeBob's Friends and Co.: [in background chorus' voices] Jolly, not jerky!
SpongeBob: Don't dig in the cereal box, for goodness sakes. Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes. Don't be a donkey (Don't be a donkey). It's Christmas! Santa brought nearly every gift on your list. Why whine about the one that he missed? Don't be a donkey, it's Christmas! It's Christmas! Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas!
Sandy: Congratulations, SpongeBob, your song worked!
SpongeBob: And not a moment too soon. Santa should be here any minute.
Mr. Krabs: You ain't kiddin'. Here he comes now!
[They all clear the way as Santa Claus' sleigh and reindeer land in front of the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Santa! You made it!
Santa: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho! Cool your jets there, son. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.
SpongeBob: Oh, no!
Santa: Oh, yes. It seems you're all on my naughty list, this year.
SpongeBob: Naughty list?
Santa: No buts about it. You've all been behaving like donkeys.
SpongeBob: But--!
Santa: No "buts"! Lumps of coal for everyone! Except for Plankton.
SpongeBob and Friends and Co.: WHA-A-AT?!?
Santa: I'm just as surprised as you, but compared to the rest of you, he's been a saint. [Hands him the Krabby Patty formula] Here you go, Sheldon, I believe this is what you asked for.
Mr. Krabs: Me secret formular? How did you get that?
Santa: I have MY ways.
[An elf reaches into Mr Krabs' pocket and takes his wallet]
Pearl: Um...Dad?
Mr. Krabs: Huh? [Slaps the elf] Get out of me pocket, ya foul goblin!
SpongeBob: But- but- but- but- but- but--! [Patrick slaps him] But, Santa, you've got it all wrong!
Santa: On the contrary, SpongeBob, you're the worst of all. There you go, right now--wreaking havoc! You're in big trouble now!
[The crowd parts and reveals the rampaging ToyBob]
Plankton: Uh-oh.
ToyBob: [Focuses on SpongeBob, Plankton and Santa] I am ready to destroy Christmas! [transforms into his mega mode] Destroy Santa!
SpongeBob: You want Santa, you gotta get through me!
Mega ToyBob: Okey-dokey. [Karate chops SpongeBob]
Santa: Oh, my.
SpongeBob: Is that all you got?
[Before SpongeBob can protect Santa, however, Mega ToyBob picks him up and flings him far away and releases a flame]
Santa: I'm outta here! [He hides in the Krusty Krab, but ToyBob finds him and picks him up] You do realize this counts as, naughty.
SpongeBob: You put that jolly elf down, you big tin imposter! [Fires fruitcake at Mega ToyBob] Hot from the oven, full of lovin'! [Rushes back to rescue Santa] Hurry up, Santa, hop on!
[Mega ToyBob shorts out and explodes into flames, reducing it to piles of rubble]
Santa: Thanks again for saving my keister.
SpongeBob: Oh, it was nothing.
Santa: You're absolutely the hero of the day, except for the owner of that wind-up monstrosity! [An elf hands him the wind-up key] What have we got here? "If found, please return to the Chum Bucket"?!? [entirely up in flames; screaming] PLANKTON!!!
Plankton: Uh-oh.
Mr. Krabs: Hand it over, Sheldon. Don't make it any worse. [Takes the Krabby Patty formula. Plankton gets flung at Santa's sleigh, and he splatters all over it. He falls off, leaving squish marks on the sleigh]
Santa: O.K., boys, let's give Plankton what he deserves. [The elves pour coal onto Plankton, who is arrested and thrown into jail] Take him away!
Plankton: Help! I've been framed! Let me go! Help! Help! Help! [police siren wailing]
Santa: So long, kiddies! Ho-o-o-o, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [He flies away as everyone [except Squidward] waves goodbye to him]
SpongeBob: Hey, has anyone seen Patrick?
Patrick: [Hiding on Santa's sleigh] Gotcha! [Catches Santa in a net, sending the sleigh off course]
[Potty is still pecking Patchy's head]
Patchy: [Notices a sign] Santa's workshop? I'm here, Santa! I'm here!
Potty: I'm not going in there.
Patchy: Santa! [He sits on Santa's lap and pulls out his letter] There's only thing I wants for Christmas! And it's to meet me hero, SpongeBob SquarePants. [Santa sprinkles magic dust on Patchy to make his wish come true, then the illusion breaks and Patchy realizes he's in a cave with a polar bear who sprinkled him with salt because he wants to eat him. The bear chases him. The scene then cuts to Potty standing next to Santa]
Santa: I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty?
Potty: I sure would, Santa!
[They laugh]
Both: Merry Christmas!

Episode Transcript: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!

2016-05-18T14:48:20Z

208.108.164.241: Created page with "This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!" from season eight, which aired on December 6, 2012. [A mail truck drives thro..."

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!" from season eight, which aired on December 6, 2012.

[A mail truck drives through the mountain range. Patchy the Pirate is driving the truck. He appears to be parodying S.D. Kluger from Santa Claus is Comin' to Town]
Patchy: Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter. So I gave Mr. Mailman the day off.
[He puts his pirate hat on the mailman, tied up and gagged in the back of the truck, puts on his mailman hat and closes the door]
Potty: Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?
Patchy: Oh, Potty, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." [Singing] Dashing through the snow, in a... [Mumbles] Through the fields we go. La la la la la. Okay. So we're looking for some fields here.
Potty: No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." [Singing] There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive, scurvy brain.
Patchy: Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.
Potty: Look out! There's a fork in the road!
Patchy: I don't see no fork.
[The truck spins after the fork gets caught in the wheel and they both scream.]
Patchy: While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.
[The camera zooms in on Bikini Bottom and into SpongeBob's pineapple house. SpongeBob and Gary are sleeping. SpongeBob's alarm clock goes off and sleigh bells are heard instead of the foghorn noise. SpongeBob wakes up.]
SpongeBob: [Singing] Oh, it's drawing very near. My favorite time of the year. [He jumps out of bed and up the ladder] The snow is falling and the cold wind blows. [He gets up on the diving board, and jumps on it] Christmas is almost here. [He jumps up, automatically removing his pajamas and changing into his square pants] And I know that Santa, Santa. Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! [He spins Christmas lights around his pineapple] It keeps me warm and filled with glee to know Santa has his eyes on me. I light my house like a Christmas tree. Fa la la la la la la la lee. 'cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little... [A Santa hat pops out of SpongeBob's head] Eyes on me.
[He walks over to Squidward's house where Squidward is putting up lights]
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward? What are you doing today?
Squidward: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms...[Turns the lights on] ...to GO AWAY!!!
SpongeBob: Okay... [Skips up to Patrick next to a box on a stick tied with string to a cookie]
SpongeBob: Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. He sees everything I do, with his left eye on me and his right eye on you!
SpongeBob: [sees the box] Ooh, what's that?
Patrick: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!
SpongeBob: Ooh. Baited with Christmas treats?
Patrick: [singing to the tune of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks. And then we'll have Christmas all year long!
Patrick: Hey, a cookie! [Patrick goes for the cookie and the box traps him.]
SpongeBob: Ohh... Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! Fa la la la la la la la la lee! [sees Sandy's treedome] And who is that I see? Underneath her Christmas tree?
Sandy: Oh, Christmas, oh, Christmas is sweet mystery. I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstructed alchemy.
SpongeBob: Merry Christmas, Sandy!
Sandy: Merry Christmas, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob skips to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly lttle eyes on me. Hi, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready for Christmas?
Mr. Krabs: Why, Christmas is me favorite time of the year! After all, 'tis the season of gettin'!
SpongeBob: Don't you mean the season of giving?
Mr. Krabs: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get. [Laughs]
Plankton: [Singing] Oh, Santa, Santa, Santa has his eye on me. He's seen everything I've done. Every plot, plan, and scheme. It's just a bit of fun. Santa has his eye on me. Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. So every Christmas morning, I get a stocking full of coal! [Dumps out coal from his stocking]
Karen: Maybe you'd get a real present from Santa if you hadn't been the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom.
Plankton: I'm way ahead of you, Karen! [Periodic Table lowers from the ceiling. Plankton walks over to it and sticks a piece of notepad paper on it. The paper says "Jt" for Jerktonium] There is one element in the known universe that is capable of completely transforming anyone in Bikini Bottom into donkeys! And I, Plankton have discovered it. Behold! [Plankton pulls a lever] Jerktonium! [A piece of Jerktonium contained in a glass capsule lowers from the ceiling] I'll give everyone in Bikini Bottom a present of the most innocent of all goodies. The fruitcake! Each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! Once ingested, no one can help becoming the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever! Then Santa will realize that Sheldon J. Plankton isn't so bad after all! And then I'll get what I really want for Christmas, the Krabby Patty secret formula! [Plankton jumps on an oven and holds the fruitcake] And now for the main ingredient, JERKTONIUM! Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! It's complete! [Laughs] Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling, outraging fruitcake a breeze! Now, who's gonna be my first victim?
SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton! What've you got there? [Gasps] Hey! Is that a fruitcake dispenser? You don't suppose I could have a piece, do ya?
Plankton: Sure thing, fruitcake! Here you go! [Presses button on the dispenser as a robotic arm gives SpongeBob a fruitcake, but nothing happens!]
Plankton: Hot from the oven and full in lovin'!
SpongeBob: Ooh! Ooh! HOT! HOT! HOT! [Sighs as he takes a bite] Wow! This is great!
Plankton: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?
SpongeBob: No.
Plankton: Sorta surley?
SpongeBob: Mm-mm.
Plankton: Maybe just a little bit jerky?
SpongeBob: No. I feel just how this cake tastes! Absoulutely delicious!
Plankton: Hmm... He must have gotten a piece without jerktonium! Here. Have some more.
SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do! [He eats the fruitcake]
Plankton: How's your dander? Is it up?
SpongeBob: No. How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer? [He takes another piece; cut to inside of his mouth]
Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay!
Plankton: Grrr! Have some more! [He fires a piece into SpongeBob's mouth] Have a whole loaf! [The arm stuffs a loaf into SpongeBob's mouth] Have a baker's dozen! [He fires many fruitcakes into SpongeBob's mouth] Well?
SpongeBob: Well … [He swallows] I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake!
Plankton: You know what? Knock yourself out. [He throws SpongeBob the keys to the dispenser] Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to Bikini Bottom. Boy, oh, boy. [He goes back into the Chum Bucket]
SpongeBob: [Rides the dispenser up to 3 carolers] Hello, fellow revelers! Would you like a Christmas treat?
Bill: Why, sure, SpongeBob!
Fish 2: Yeah, who doesn't like treats?
SpongeBob: [Dives into the dispenser and emerges with a plate of fruitcake] Nothing loosens up the old pipes like some fruitcake. Dig in!
[They all take a piece]
Fish 2: It's like a present for my mouth!
SpongeBob: I knew you'd like it.
Bill: [Grows donkey ears and a tail, bushy eyebrows, bags under his eyes, a five-o'clock shadow, and completely transforms into a donkey] Hey! Did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake? Hee-haw!
Fish 2: Whoa, calm down, Bill! What do you want to sing?
Bill: Well, I want to sing the only Christmas song that matters, and that's “Jingle Bells”. From the top! A one and a two and a –
Fish 3: [Transforms into a donkey] No, hold your holly! We're singing the best Christmas song ever, and that's “Silver Bells”! Hee-haw
Bill: Wrong bells, buddy!
Fish 2: [Transforms into a donkey] Hey, I want to sing “Randolph the Red-Nosed Seahorse”! Hee-haw!
[They all continue to argue and bray like donkeys]
SpongeBob: [Driving away, failing to notice that the fruitcakes have been contaminated with jerktonium] Great to see people so passionate about the holidays.
Plankton: [Emerges from the Chum Bucket on a unicycle] What's all the racket? What do you know? The Jerktonium seems to work only on other people. How very interesting.
[Cut to a shot of a Christmas parade in town]
SpongeBob: Oh boy, a Christmas parade! The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy. [Singing] Oh, everyone, try some hot fruitcake today. Eat it all up and you will shout “Hooray!”!
Bikini Bottomites: Yay!
SpongeBob: Everyone can get behind a mouthful of warm sunshine, everyone eat a Christmas time cliché. [People start transforming into donkeys. Somebody pops a kid's balloon. Another person smashes a gift over somebody's head. Pearl transforms into a donkey and squirts water at passersby, saying, "Hee-haw! Hee-haw!"] Everyone can get behind a mouthful of Christmas time, let's all eat some hot fruitcake today!
Plankton: [Cycling through the rioting town filled with donkeys] This just keeps getting better and better.
Costumed Santa: [On a float, with a boy on his knee] Ho ho ho! So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas?
Boy: I want a sled and truck and a bike and a train...
SpongeBob: Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake. [He throws a piece]
Boy: And a water pistol and a helicopter and – and, uh...
Costumed Santa: [Transforms into a donkey] Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself? And while you're at it try brushing your teeth, you little -
SpongeBob: Have some fruitcake! [Hands a piece to the float driver]
Driver: Thanks! [He transforms into a donkey, which shocks him in surprise] That's it! I'm out of here! [He panickedly leaves the float and it crashes off the end of a cliff]
Boy: [Bouncing on the Costumed Santa's belly] Wheeee! Oh yeah, and I want a trampoline!
Plankton: Success! Soon all the Bikini Bottomites will transform into donkeys! Now I just need to figure out what to do about old SpongeBoy.
[Cut to Plankton's lab]
Karen: Once again your master plan has failed completely to suffice. [She brings up a diagram] This is why SpongeBob's innocent love of the holidays prevents his heart from experiencing the effects of Jerktonium.
SpongeBob Diagram: Dahahaha! That tickles.
Plankton: Dagnabit! That square-head's going to throw my whole naughty to nice curve right off! I guess it's time to introduce Plan B. [He pulls a lever and transfers an evil spirit known as the giant SpongeBob robot that drops from the ceiling] Hahahahaha! Plan B, meet Karen. Now go, my automated agent of naughtiness, go and destroy SpongeBob's good name! [He laughs evilly but nothing happens] Huh? Oh yeah. [He winds up a key in its back]
ToyBob: I am ready! I am ready! I am ready! Ready to destroy Christmas! [Flames shoot from his nose. He leaves the Chum Bucket and destroys a car, then heads for the Krusty Krab]
Mr. Krabs: What's goin' on out here? Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. [ToyBob detonates the Krusty Krab sign, which collapses on Mr. Krabs, who screams]
Plankton: Oh, SpongeBob, you've been a bad, bad toy!
[Meanwhile, Plankton shoves the donkeys down a chute, into crates, and onto the boat]
Plankton: Come on! Keep them moving! Finally there now, we haven't got all night! Come on, come on! Let's have another! [One of his minions pulls a donkey toward him] And what's your name?
Donkey: Hee-haw! ("Haw-hee!")
Plankton: OK, you'll do! [He tears the clothing off the donkey and throws him into a crate with five others.] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [Chuckles evilly] All right! Next! [Another donkey in a sailor suit is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?
Donkey: Alexander.
Plankton: So, you can talk?
Alexander: Y-Yes, sir. I want to go home to my mama!
Plankton: Take him away! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that can still talk]
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. [The others beg and plead] Let me out of here!
Plankton: QUIET!!! [Cracks his whip] You've had your fun. Now pay for it!
[The mail truck is still spinning out of control and finally comes to rest. The bound and gagged mailman escapes and jumps away]
Patchy: I can't believe we survived that horrifying car accident without a scratch. [He gets out of the truck and slips on the ice] Ow! [He notices the fork in the tire] Aw, here's the problem. Oh, that's not good. Flat tire, huh? Looks as sad as an empty bag of beef. Brrr! It's cold up here. Why don't you kids at home go make a nice hot cup of cocoa while Potty builds me a fire?
[End of part one; now to part two with a scene of Potty and Patchy huddled around a fire]
Patchy: [Shivering] Hello, kiddies. It's so cold, me eye patch cracked. There hasn't been any food or water, food or food for over 20 minutes. [Coughs] Boy, I could sure go for some buffalo wings right about now. Sounds good. Eh, Potty? [He looks at Potty, imagining him as a plate of buffalo wings] With a side of blue cheese dressing. [He grabs a fork, licks his lips, and lunges at Potty who flies up and Patchy bites on the log Potty is sitting on]
Potty: Squawk! What are you doing?
Patchy: I'm sorry, Potty, I don't know what got into me. I'm just so hungry!
Potty: It's OK, Patchy, I can't stay mad at you. [He imagines Patchy's head as a suet cake and licks his beak]
Patchy: Why are you looking at me like that, bird? [Potty pecks at his head] What are you doing?
[Cut to SpongeBob's storyline; SpongeBob is riding the dispenser through Bikini Bottom and comes across the three carolers he first gave Plankton's fruitcake to who have completely transformed into donkeys]
SpongeBob: Merry Christmas, fellas!
Bill: Ah, go stuff a stocking! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
SpongeBob: Gee. That wasn't very nice. [He drives past Mr. Krabs, who is mending the Krusty Krab sign] Seasons greetings, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Will you get some nerve, SpongeBob! This is comin' outta yer salary!
SpongeBob: What's that all about? [He drives up to Patrick, who is setting another trap] Hey, Patrick! What're you up to?
Patrick: [who has completely transformed into a donkey] I think it's pretty obvious, SpongeBob! [He eats a slice of fruitcake] I'm eating fruitcake and setting a tiger trap for Santa! Now, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now.
SpongeBob: Yeesh, OK. Don't have to be a jerk about it. Everybody's on edge today. Must be the holiday jitters.
Patrick: Nosy-body. [He falls into his own trap] Yay, it works! Hello, big striped shrimp. [He screams as it attacks him]
[The next morning, SpongeBob steps outside]
SpongeBob: Ah, Christmas Eve! When all of Bikini Bottom is filled with good will.
Fish 5: Merry Christmas, Frankie.
Frankie: Merry Christmas to you, too, Johnny. [Throws a snowball in Johnny's face]
SpongeBob: More like bad will! Gosh, if people start behaving like donkeys, Santa's going to fly right past Bikini Bottom this Christmas Eve! I'm gonna need some help. [He runs back to the pool hall to warn Squidward what has happened to the resdients in Bikini Bottom. He knocks on Squidward's door] Squidward!
Squidward: [From inside] I'm not home!
SpongeBob: Oh gosh, what do I do now?
Squidward: Why don't you go bother Sandy?
SpongeBob: Good idea, Squidward. I'll have to thank you when you get home. [He leaves, and ToyBob walks up to Squidward's house, pounding on the door]
Squidward: I said I'm not home! [ToyBob wrenches the door off its hinges] SpongeBob, give me back my door! [ToyBob smashes it over Squidward's head]
[Cut to Sandy's treedome]
SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy! I need your help! It's Christmas Eve and everyone in Bikini Bottom are behaving like donkeys! You gotta help me find out why.
Sandy: [Transforms completely into a donkey, then turns around and bares her teeth, scaring SpongeBob, except that she isn't a donkey after all] Why should I help all them donkeys?
SpongeBob: Because those jerks don't care about Christmas any more, Sandy! They've all been turned into donkeys! It's a problem.
Sandy: Problem? My only problem is I'm out of fruitcake. Only thing I've got left to eat are boring old nuts. [She throws one at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Oh, the problem is not only the fruitcake! The problem is that everyone, including you, is transforming into donkeys! Oh, I'll have to solve this on my own. [He turns to leave but he trips on a flagstone, accidentally throwing the fruitcake into Sandy's Christmas analyzer] Whoa!
Sandy: Now look what you've done, SpongeBob! You got fruitcake in my Christmas magic analyser! [An alarm sounds] Well, I'll be hornswaggled. My analyzer's found something in the fruitcake! [She looks at the reading and gasps] This is terrible!
SpongeBob: What is it, Sandy?
Sandy: This indicates that the fruitcake is contaminated with jerktonium! No wonder I've been as ornery as a sidewinder on a hot driveway. Jerktonium is the worst element of them all because your fruitcake is full of it. Where'd you get that fruitcake, anyway?
SpongeBob: From Plankton, he baked it.
Sandy: You took food from Plankton and fed it to everyone in town?
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Sandy: You're an idiot.
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Sandy: No wonder everyone in town is a big old meanie.
SpongeBob: Oh! I've eaten tons of that fruitcake! I must be the biggest jerk in town!
Sandy: [Pokes him] Hmm … I don't think so. For some strange reason, it's not affecting you anymore. [She puts a scanner in front of him] It's all because of the combination of your tiny brain and pure heart. Everyone knows you're immune to jerktonium, SpongeBob, but the rest of us will need an antidote. I'll set the analyzer to calculate the formula. [She pulls a switch and a music score pops out] Why, this formula for the antidote don't make no sense at all!
SpongeBob: Hmm… That's not a formula! That's a song! [He hums it, and Sandy becomes her normal self] Sandy! The song is the antidote!
[Cut to downtown Bikini Bottom, where people are still rioting and braying like donkeys]
Fish 6: Oh yeah? Well your fins are fat! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Fish 7: Says who? Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
SpongeBob: Ahoy, everybody! SpongeBob here! Christmas needs presents and mistletoe, sharing and caring. So during this most festive season, please, don't be a donkey.
[He clicks his fingers and mistletoe appears over the heads of the two fish he fed Plankton's fruitcake to, curing them of being completely transformed into donkeys and of jerktonium poisoning. He clicks again and a pile of presents appears, curing two other fish. A little boy begins to play Christmas baubles like bells]
SpongeBob: [Singing] Bring joy to the world, it's the thing to do, but the world does not revolve around you. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! There's a sign above the line that says "Express" that means ten items or less. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! [Throws a snowball at Mr Krabs and cures him] Be nice to babies and animals, old folks, too. 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you! Use turn signals. Don't screen my calls. Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls. Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe. Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas! It's Christmas! [Hands a gift to Pearl, who continues to pass it down a line, curing people from turning into donkeys as they receive it, except for Squidward, who remains completely unaffected]
SpongeBob: When others are talking, never interrupt. Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up. It's the time for families and holly and turkey. 'Tis the season to be jolly; not jerky!
SpongeBob's Friends and Co.: [in background chorus' voices] Jolly, not jerky!
SpongeBob: Don't dig in the cereal box, for goodness sakes. Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes. Don't be a donkey (Don't be a donkey). It's Christmas! Santa brought nearly every gift on your list. Why whine about the one that he missed? Don't be a donkey, it's Christmas! It's Christmas! Don't be a donkey. It's Christmas!
Sandy: Congratulations, SpongeBob, your song worked!
SpongeBob: And not a moment too soon. Santa should be here any minute.
Mr. Krabs: You ain't kiddin'. Here he comes now!
[They all clear the way as Santa Claus' sleigh and reindeer land in front of the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Santa! You made it!
Santa: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho! Cool your jets there, son. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.
SpongeBob: Oh, no!
Santa: Oh, yes. It seems you're all on my naughty list, this year.
SpongeBob: Naughty list?
Santa: No buts about it. You've all been behaving like donkeys.
SpongeBob: But--!
Santa: No "buts"! Lumps of coal for everyone! Except for Plankton.
SpongeBob and Friends and Co.: WHA-A-AT?!?
Santa: I'm just as surprised as you, but compared to the rest of you, he's been a saint. [Hands him the Krabby Patty formula] Here you go, Sheldon, I believe this is what you asked for.
Mr. Krabs: Me secret formular? How did you get that?
Santa: I have MY ways.
[An elf reaches into Mr Krabs' pocket and takes his wallet]
Pearl: Um...Dad?
Mr. Krabs: Huh? [Slaps the elf] Get out of me pocket, ya foul goblin!
SpongeBob: But- but- but- but- but- but--! [Patrick slaps him] But, Santa, you've got it all wrong!
Santa: On the contrary, SpongeBob, you're the worst of all. There you go, right now--wreaking havoc! You're in big trouble now!
[The crowd parts and reveals the rampaging ToyBob]
Plankton: Uh-oh.
ToyBob: [Focuses on SpongeBob, Plankton and Santa] I am ready to destroy Christmas! [transforms into his mega mode] Destroy Santa!
SpongeBob: You want Santa, you gotta get through me!
Mega ToyBob: Okey-dokey. [Karate chops SpongeBob]
Santa: Oh, my.
SpongeBob: Is that all you got?
[Before SpongeBob can protect Santa, however, Mega ToyBob picks him up and flings him far away and releases a flame]
Santa: I'm outta here! [He hides in the Krusty Krab, but ToyBob finds him and picks him up] You do realize this counts as, naughty.
SpongeBob: You put that jolly elf down, you big tin imposter! [Fires fruitcake at Mega ToyBob] Hot from the oven, full of lovin'! [Rushes back to rescue Santa] Hurry up, Santa, hop on!
[Mega ToyBob shorts out and explodes into flames, reducing it to piles of rubble]
Santa: Thanks again for saving my keister.
SpongeBob: Oh, it was nothing.
Santa: You're absolutely the hero of the day, except for the owner of that wind-up monstrosity! [An elf hands him the wind-up key] What have we got here? "If found, please return to the Chum Bucket"?!? [entirely up in flames; screaming] PLANKTON!!!
Plankton: Uh-oh.
Mr. Krabs: Hand it over, Sheldon. Don't make it any worse. [Takes the Krabby Patty formula. Plankton gets flung at Santa's sleigh, and he splatters all over it. He falls off, leaving squish marks on the sleigh]
Santa: O.K., boys, let's give Plankton what he deserves. [The elves pour coal onto Plankton, who is arrested and thrown into jail] Take him away!
Plankton: Help! I've been framed! Let me go! Help! Help! Help! [police siren wailing]
Santa: So long, kiddies! Ho-o-o-o, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [He flies away as everyone [except Squidward] waves goodbye to him]
SpongeBob: Hey, has anyone seen Patrick?
Patrick: [Hiding on Santa's sleigh] Gotcha! [Catches Santa in a net, sending the sleigh off course]
[Potty is still pecking Patchy's head]
Patchy: [Notices a sign] Santa's workshop? I'm here, Santa! I'm here!
Potty: I'm not going in there.
Patchy: Santa! [He sits on Santa's lap and pulls out his letter] There's only thing I wants for Christmas! And it's to meet me hero, SpongeBob SquarePants. [Santa sprinkles magic dust on Patchy to make his wish come true, then the illusion breaks and Patchy realizes he's in a cave with a polar bear who sprinkled him with salt because he wants to eat him. The bear chases him. The scene then cuts to Potty standing next to Santa]
Santa: I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty?
Potty: I sure would, Santa!
[They laugh]
Both: Merry Christmas!

It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)

2016-05-18T14:23:33Z

208.108.164.241: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{{EpInfo|It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!|Titlecard It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!.jpg|175|8/2011|November 23, 2012|For Here or to Go|Super Evil Aquatic Villain Team Up is Go!}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[File:ItsaspongebobChristmas.jpg|300px]]</center>SpongeBob giving out fruitcake.
|-
|}
'''It's a SpongeBob Christmas!''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 8|Season 8]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Santa Claus]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Pearl|Pearl]]
*[[Inhabitants of Bikini Bottom|Bikini Bottomites]]
*[[Robot SpongeBob (It's a SpongeBob Christmas!)|Robot SpongeBob]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]

===Places===
*[[Bikini Bottom]]
*[[Chum Bucket]]
*[[The Krusty Krab]]

==Plot==
[[Image:SBSPChristmas.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The DVD cover.]]
SpongeBob wakes up and begins singing a Christmas Carol. All of SpongeBob’s friends are preparing for Christmas, and they join in his carol. At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is enraged that he gets a lump of coal in his stocking every year for Christmas. Karen tells him that if he hadn't been such a jerk, he just might get something for Christmas. Plankton pulls out a periodic table of elements and adds in extra one onto it, jerktonium, which is apparently capable of having the power to turn anyone into a donkey (except for SpongeBob, of course), and also serves as a trap for the citizens in Bikini Bottom. Plankton decides to lace every slice of fruitcake with Jerktonium, and give them to people to turn them into donkeys, so Santa will think Plankton isn't naughty after all and he will be able to get the Krabby Patty secret formula for Christmas.

Plankton leaves the Chum Bucket to begin giving people the fruitcakes, by dispensing these fruitcakes with his latest invention, which he refers to as the Jerkmaker 9000. SpongeBob instantly walks up and Plankton gives him a piece of fruitcake. The jerktonium, however, doesn’t affect SpongeBob anymore because he is immune to it, causing the device to malfunction, so Plankton gives him more fruitcake. SpongeBob eats all of the fruitcake, and Plankton is enraged when he realizes that nothing seems to work on SpongeBob because his plan is insufficient and a complete failure. He gives SpongeBob a key and goes back inside. SpongeBob spots some Christmas carolers and hands them each a slice of fruitcake. The fish experience the effects of [[jerktonium]] and transform into donkeys, which makes them very angry. Plankton comes out and notices that the jerktonium worked only on the residents of Bikini Bottom instead of on SpongeBob.

Downtown, every time SpongeBob begins passing out fruitcakes, the citizens transform into donkeys after making "jackasses" of themselves and begin to behave in an unacceptable matter. First, the citizens grow donkey ears and a tail. Then their heads turn furry with donkey hair, and their laughter becomes the braying of a donkey. Their hands and feet become hooves, before they lose their ability to speak (though some of the donkeys are able to talk) and are finally forced on all fours. The donkeys are rounded up by Plankton. The donkeys are inspected and those who cannot talk are stripped of their clothes if they still wear any before being put into crates, then taken back to the ferry that takes the Bikini Bottomites to the island. They are sold to salt mines, circuses, and other places for money.

Those who can still talk are kept behind until they have lost their voices or have to pull Plankton's stagecoach. It seems that the donkeys pulling the stagecoach are actually a group of citizens that used to be in Bikini Bottom before the events of the episode took place. Nevertheless, SpongeBob remains oblivious to these changes, and he continues to sing. Plankton rides through town on a unicycle, noticing the citizens wreaking havoc on the city and braying uncontrollably, and is delighted. SpongeBob passes a young boy on Santa's lap, and he gives Santa a piece of fruitcake. Santa, who has transformed into a donkey, tells the kid to get a job and buy all of the gifts himself before reminding him to start brushing his teeth. The sleigh driver escapes, causing the sleigh to fall off the cliff with a ''CRASH''! Plankton returns to the Chum Bucket, where Karen tells him that his plan has failed completely to suffice, because of the fact that SpongeBob's heart prevents him from being infected by jerktonium. Realizing that his first plan proves insufficient yet again, Plankton is forced to unleash an evil spirit called the robotic SpongeBob onto the streets of Bikini Bottom to ruin SpongeBob’s reputation. The creature begins destroying stuff to ruin Christmas.

SpongeBob begins riding through Bikini Bottom, failing to notice that the fruitcake is contaminated with jerktonium and that everybody in town has been transformed into donkeys and are being rude and very angry with him. The next day on Christmas Eve, SpongeBob notices the townsfolk being turned into donkeys and treating each other badly. SpongeBob turns to Squidward, and he tells him to go to Sandy's house. The robotic SpongeBob walks up and begins to anger Squidward, who thinks it is SpongeBob. At Sandy’s house, Sandy, who has transformed into a donkey, is rude to SpongeBob, and she refuses to help him with his problems. SpongeBob tries to leave, but before he can do so, he accidentally trips on a rock, sending the fruitcake flying into Sandy's Christmas Magic Analyzer and causing it to malfunction, which indicates that the fruitcake has been contaminated with the unpleasant stench of jerktonium. SpongeBob tells her he got the food from Plankton, at which point she demands to know why and calls him an idiot. SpongeBob says he must be the biggest jerk in town because he ate a lot of fruitcake. However, Sandy doesn't think so and scans SpongeBob and tells him that jerktonium is the worst element of them all because his fruitcake is full of it and that everyone knows he is immune to jerktonium. Sandy uses the analyzer to reveal a formula for the antidote to cure the residents in Bikini Bottom. However, the antidote turns out to be a song which SpongeBob hums that cures Sandy.

SpongeBob shows up downtown and begins singing to rid everyone of the jerktonium and of being transformed into donkeys. After everyone is rid of the jerktonium and of being transformed into donkeys, Santa shows up and tells SpongeBob that everyone in town is on his naughty list instead of Plankton. Santa gives Plankton the secret formula, and Santa tells SpongeBob that he is in trouble for wreaking havoc in Bikini Bottom. The SpongeBob robot shows up and begins wreaking havoc, to which Santa points out that SpongeBob is doing it, except that Santa found out that it was the creature all along. The creature tries to destroy Santa, but SpongeBob destroys the creature and saves Santa. Christmas is saved and Mr. Krabs gets the formula back from Plankton, who is arrested and thrown into jail. Santa flies off and Patrick sneaks on with him in an attempt to capture him.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the second Christmas based episode. The first one was [[Christmas Who? (Episode)|Christmas Who?]].
*This is the second episode to use stop-motion animation. The first was [[Truth or Square (Episode)|Truth or Square]]. However, this is the first full [[stop-motion]] episode.
*This is the only SpongeBob episode to air on CBS.
*This is the only Season 8 episode to be produced in HD.
*SpongeBob drives a vehicle, the [[JerkMaker 9000]], throughout the episode, albeit not a boat.
*The song, "[[Don’t Be a Jerk]]" is featured in this episode. The song originally aired in 2009.
*SpongeBob actually went in Sandy’s Treedome without his water helmet. Yet, he was not affected by air.
*In one scene when Pearl ate the fruitcake and completely transformed into a donkey, the next scene shows that, in the background, Pearl is in her normal state, despite the fact that she just transformed into said ailment.
*When SpongeBob walked away from the [[jerktonium]]-affected Sandy who was transformed into a donkey and said, "I’ll have to solve this on my own.", the acorn suddenly appeared in his path in the next frame, blocking his way.
*The DVD version featured a [[Patchy the Pirate]] sub-plot in stop motion, making it the first episode to show Patchy and Potty not in live action.
*There aren't any donkeys in Bikini Bottom.
*In real life, there is no other element with a J on the periodic table.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: It's a SpongeBob Christmas!|Transcript for It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]]

{{Specials}}
{{Holiday Episodes}}
{{Season8}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 8]]
[[de:SpongeBobs Weihnachten (Episode)]]

Jerktonium

2016-05-18T14:22:03Z

208.108.164.241:

[[File:175 Plankton-jerktonium.jpg|thumb|Plankton and the jerktonium © Viacom]]
[[File:175 Plankton-Karen-jerktonium.jpg|left|thumb|The jerktonium © Viacom]]
The '''Jerktonium''' only appears in [[It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)|It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]]. It is a dangerous chemical element in the periodic table discovered by [[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] (no other element has been in the periodic table before). It also serves as a trap for the residents in Bikini Bottom (except for SpongeBob, of course). Since there aren't any donkeys in Bikini Bottom, Plankton uses Jerktonium in the fruitcake that is given out to everybody in Bikini Bottom. The Jerktonium causes all Bikini Bottomites to become grumpy and transform into donkeys in order to make Plankton appear to be the nicest of them all. Everyone who tries the fruitcake will be transformed into donkeys with donkey ears and a tail, a face with a muzzle, big black and bushy eyebrows, black bags around their eyes, a mass of black stubble around their mouths called a five o'clock shadow, and a head all covered in donkey hair. Their laughter will become the braying of a donkey. Their hands and feet will become hooves. They will fall to all fours and their voices will be replaced by full braying. Then they will go mad and begin braying and kicking wildly, throwing their clothes off in the process. Some of the Bikini Bottomites are fortunate enough to retain their voices for reasons unexplained. Then they are rounded up by Plankton and his minions to be taken to the pound for inspection. After they have become donkeys, the Bikini Bottomites are asked their names by Plankton going one by one as they are called. If that answer is a bray, he removes the clothes and puts them into boxes for sale. If they answer with their names, he holds them to work for him, making sure they cannot rat out for Plankton's evil plans to the authorities back home in Bikini Bottom. The residents can only watch sadly as they are forced to work like donkeys they have become. Most of the Bikini Bottomites who have transformed into donkeys are sold to the salt mines and circuses, among other clients, all of whom are doomed to a life of intensive labor. It is unknown if any of the Bikini Bottomites have ever found a way to become free from Jerktonium (that is, until SpongeBob finds a way to cure them by singing the song using the antidote), or whatever happens to the talking donkeys forced to stay at the pound. Plankton's first victim is [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]], but SpongeBob is immune to Jerktonium because of his pure heart and tiny brain, causing Plankton's plan to prove insufficient yet again. (The reason why SpongeBob's heart prevents him from being infected by Jerktonium is that Plankton's plan has failed completely to suffice.) Soon Plankton gets tired and allows SpongeBob to deliver the fruitcake, causing everybody to get infected with Jerktonium and transform into donkeys.

[[Category:Item or Object]]

All that Glitters (Episode)

2016-03-21T13:47:41Z

208.108.164.241: /* Plot */

{{EpInfo|All that Glitters|Titlecard-All that Glitters.jpg|72a|4|2 June 2006|Karate Island|Wishing You Well}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Lepfannenwender.jpg|300px]]</center>[[Le Spatula]]
<small>© Viacom</small>
|-
|}

'''All That Glitters''' is an episode from [[Season 4]].

==Plot==
At the Krusty Krab, an overweight fish orders a [[Monster Krabby Patty]]. This shocks SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs and the customers. So [[Hans]] drop the Monster Patty on the grill and SpongeBob tries to flip it, but his spatula (named Spat) accidentally explodes. SpongeBob starts hysterically screaming everywhere he goes, but after thirteen times of screaming, nothing seems to happen. He feels he is unable to work without Spat, and Spat feels the same way, so Spat checks himself into the hospital, with SpongeBob following him. He sees him in the bed and SpongeBob goes through a flashback of what they have done together. Then the doctor tells SpongeBob that he should get another spatula to replace the broken spatula and SpongeBob becomes depressed.

He leaves the hospital, believing that nothing else could replace Spat, until he sees a high-tech device called: ''LE SPATULA''. SpongeBob gives into temptation and buys it with everything he has, including his pants.

After purchasing his replacement spatula, SpongeBob goes back into the Krusty Krab and attempts to flip patties after Mr. Krabs sees the replacement spatula. ''LE SPATULA'' runs away because it does not like filth (thereby defeating the purpose of a spatula) or SpongeBob himself. All the customers are upset with not getting their food, and SpongeBob goes back to the hospital. However, before he gets to see Spat, the doctor tells him it is too late. He then watches a spatula die, but then he finds out that the spatula he just saw was not his spatula; his spatula was well patched up and taken to the Infirmary. The doctor had told SpongeBob that he did not get an acting role, not that Spat had died.

SpongeBob is delighted that Spat is back but Spat does not forgive SpongeBob. SpongeBob walks back to the Krusty Krab, crying, and enters the kitchen. There he sees Spat cooking Krabby Patties. Now reunited, Spat and SpongeBob still have to flip the Monster Patty, but this time, instead of Spat exploding again, SpongeBob's arms burst into flames. SpongeBob starts laughing, and the episode ends.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*[[Dee Bradley Baker]] voices Le Spatula.
*When SpongeBob says that there's only one spatula for him, this is not true. In the book called SpongeBob DetectivePants: The Case of the Missing Spatula, SpongeBob had a different spatula named "Flipper" though it's not considered canon.
*This episode was originally called "All Those Tears", but it was later changed to "All That Glitters".
*When SpongeBob breaks the fourth wall, it is a parody of a line from Shakespeare's play "The Merchant of Venice".
*The episode's title is a reference to the line ''All that glitters is not gold.'' SpongeBob even says it in this episode.
*This is one of the ten episodes in which the title card has an animation. The others are [[SB-129]], [[Pre-Hibernation Week]], [[One Krab's Trash]], [[Idiot Box]], [[SpongeBob Meets the Strangler]], [[Skill Crane]], [[Karate Island]], [[The Donut of Shame]], and [[The Krabby Kronicle]].
*Immediately after the theme song ends, there is about two second's worth of a pause before the title card pops up. This is the only episode to have the delay.
*The purple and gold 'Le Spatula' bag is surprisingly similar to the bag used for the Canadian made Crown Royal Whiskey.
*The Monster Krabby Patty is not seen more throughout the series, possibly because it was taken out of the menu so [[Spat]] wouldn't break.
*If you look carefully, there are scenes when the green button on Le Spatula disappears.
*It is revealed that [[Replacement Doctor]] from [[The Lost Mattress]] and [[Funny Pants]] is not really a doctor and is actually an actor searching for his role.
*This is the first episode to show SpongeBob using another spatula.
*Patrick's 2nd non-speaking role, the first [[Just One Bite]]. The next will be [[I ♥ Dancing (Episode)|I ♥ Dancing]].
*The salesman actually cheated SpongeBob out of all of his things by the look on his face.
*The fourth wall is broken when SpongeBob says "All that glitters is not gold" because he is looking straightly at the audience.

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]] Customers
*[[Spat]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
*[[Replacement Doctor]]
*[[Le Spatula]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Harold]]
*Pirate
*Fat Orange Guy
*[[Nat]]
*[[Evelyn]]
*Evelyn's unnamed daughter
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: All That Glitters|Transcript for All That Glitters]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

[[de:Alles, was glitzert (Episode)]]

It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)

2016-03-08T15:19:39Z

208.108.164.241: /* Plot */

{{EpInfo|It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!|Titlecard It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!.jpg|175|8/2011|November 23, 2012|For Here or to Go|Super Evil Aquatic Villain Team Up is Go!}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[File:ItsaspongebobChristmas.jpg|300px]]</center>SpongeBob giving out fruitcake.
|-
|}
'''It's a SpongeBob Christmas!''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 8|Season 8]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Santa Claus]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Pearl|Pearl]]
*[[Inhabitants of Bikini Bottom|Bikini Bottomites]]
*[[Robot SpongeBob (It's a SpongeBob Christmas!)|Robot SpongeBob]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]

===Places===
*[[Bikini Bottom]]
*[[Chum Bucket]]
*[[The Krusty Krab]]

==Plot==
[[Image:SBSPChristmas.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The DVD cover.]]
SpongeBob wakes up and begins singing a Christmas Carol. All of SpongeBob’s friends are preparing for Christmas, and they join in his carol. At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is angered that he gets coal every year for Christmas. Karen tells him that if he hadn't been such a jerk, he just might get something for Christmas. Plankton pulls out a periodic table of elements and adds in extra one onto it, jerktonium, which apparently has the power to turn anyone into a jerk (except for SpongeBob, of course). Plankton decides to lace every slice of fruit cake with Jerktonium, and give them to people to turn them into raging jerks, so Santa will think Plankton isn't naughty after all and he will be able to get the Krabby Patty secret formula for Christmas.

Plankton leaves the Chum Bucket to begin giving people the fruit cakes, by dispensing these fruit cakes with his latest invention, the JerkMaker 9000. SpongeBob instantly walks up and Plankton gives him a piece of fruit cake. The jerktonium, however, doesn’t affect SpongeBob anymore, causing the device to malfunction, so Plankton gives him more fruit cake. SpongeBob eats all of the fruit cake, and Plankton is angered to see that nothing seems to work on SpongeBob. He gives SpongeBob a key and goes back inside. SpongeBob spots some Christmas carolers and hands them each a slice of fruit cake. The fish begin experiencing the effects of [[jerktonium]], and they begin to get angry. Plankton comes out and notices that the jerktonium only worked on the residents of Bikini Bottom but not on SpongeBob.

Downtown, SpongeBob begins passing out fruit cakes, and the citizens begin to behave in unacceptably. SpongeBob is oblivious, and he continues to sing. Plankton rides through town on a unicycle, noticing the citizens wreaking havoc on the city and is delighted. SpongeBob passes a little boy on Santa's lap, and he gives Santa a piece of fruit cake. Santa tells the kid to get a job and buy all of the gifts himself and to brush his teeth. The slay driver escapes, and the slay falls off the cliff and crashes. Plankton returns to the Chum Bucket, where Karen tells him his plan has failed completely to suffice, because of the fact that SpongeBob's heart prevents him from being affected by jerktonium. Plankton unleashes a robotic SpongeBob onto the streets of Bikini Bottom to ruin SpongeBob’s reputation. The robot begins destroying stuff to ruin Christmas.

SpongeBob begins riding through Bikini Bottom, and he notices everybody being rude to him. The next day on Christmas Eve, SpongeBob notices the townsfolk treating each other poorly. SpongeBob turns to Squidward, and he tells him to go to Sandy's house. The robotic SpongeBob walks up and begins to anger Squidward, who thinks it is SpongeBob. At Sandy’s house, Sandy is rude to SpongeBob, and she does not help him with his problem. SpongeBob tries to leave, but before he can do so, he accidentally knocks the fruitcake into an analyzer. Sandy realizes that the fruit cake is contaminated with jerktonium. SpongeBob tells her he got the food from Plankton, at which point she calls him an idiot. SpongeBob says he must be the biggest jerk in town because he ate a lot of fruit cake. She scans SpongeBob and tells him that everyone knows he is allergic to jerktonium. Sandy uses the analyzer to reveal a formula for the antidote. However, the antidote is a song which SpongeBob hums that cures Sandy.

SpongeBob shows up downtown and begins singing to rid everyone of the jerktonium. After everyone is rid of the jerktonium, Santa shows up and tells SpongeBob that everyone in town is on his naughty list besides Plankton. Santa gives Plankton the secret formula, and Santa tells SpongeBob he was the worst of all. The SpongeBob robot shows up and begins wreaking havoc, to which Santa points out that SpongeBob is doing it, except that Santa found out that it was the robot all along. The robot tries to destroy Santa, but SpongeBob destroys the robot and saves Santa. Christmas is saved and Mr. Krabs gets the formula back from Plankton. Santa flies off and Patrick sneaks on with him in an attempt to capture him.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the second Christmas based episode. The first one was [[Christmas Who? (Episode)|Christmas Who?]].
*This is the second episode to use stop-motion animation. The first was [[Truth or Square (Episode)|Truth or Square]]. However, this is the first full [[stop-motion]] episode.
*This is the only SpongeBob episode to air on CBS.
*This is the only Season 8 episode to be produced in HD.
*SpongeBob drives a vehicle, the [[JerkMaker 9000]], throughout the episode, albeit not a boat.
*The song, "[[Don’t Be a Jerk]]" is featured in this episode. The song originally aired in 2009.
*SpongeBob actually went in Sandy’s Treedome without his water helmet. Yet, he was not affected by air.
*In one scene when Pearl ate the fruit cake and transformed into a jerk, the next scene shows that, in the background, Pearl is in her normal state, despite the fact that she just transformed into said ailment.
*When SpongeBob walked away from the [[jerktonium]]-affected Sandy and said, "I’ll have to solve this on my own.", the acorn suddenly appeared in his path in the next frame.
*The DVD version featured a [[Patchy the Pirate]] sub-plot in stop motion, making it the first episode to show Patchy and Potty not in live action.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: It's a SpongeBob Christmas!|Transcript for It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]]

{{Specials}}
{{Holiday Episodes}}
{{Season8}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 8]]
[[de:SpongeBobs Weihnachten (Episode)]]

It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)

2016-03-08T15:14:32Z

208.108.164.241: /* Plot */

{{EpInfo|It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!|Titlecard It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!.jpg|175|8/2011|November 23, 2012|For Here or to Go|Super Evil Aquatic Villain Team Up is Go!}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[File:ItsaspongebobChristmas.jpg|300px]]</center>SpongeBob giving out fruitcake.
|-
|}
'''It's a SpongeBob Christmas!''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 8|Season 8]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Santa Claus]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Pearl|Pearl]]
*[[Inhabitants of Bikini Bottom|Bikini Bottomites]]
*[[Robot SpongeBob (It's a SpongeBob Christmas!)|Robot SpongeBob]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]

===Places===
*[[Bikini Bottom]]
*[[Chum Bucket]]
*[[The Krusty Krab]]

==Plot==
[[Image:SBSPChristmas.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The DVD cover.]]
SpongeBob wakes up and begins singing a Christmas Carol. All of SpongeBob’s friends are preparing for Christmas, and they join in his carol. At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is angered that he gets coal every year for Christmas. Karen tells him that if he weren’t such a jerk he might get something for Christmas. Plankton pulls out a periodic table of elements and adds in extra one onto it, jerktonium, which apparently has the power to turn anyone into a jerk. Plankton is decides to lace every slice of fruit cake with Jerktonium, and give them to people to turn them into raging jerks, so Santa will think Plankton isn't naughty after all and he will be able to get the Krabby Patty secret formula for Christmas.

Plankton leaves the Chum Bucket to begin giving people the fruit cakes, by dispensing these fruit cakes with his latest invention, the JerkMaker 9000. SpongeBob instantly walks up and Plankton gives him a piece of fruit cake. The jerktonium doesn’t affect SpongeBob, so Plankton gives him more fruit cake. SpongeBob eats all of the fruit cake, and Plankton is angered to see it does nothing. He gives SpongeBob a key and goes back inside. SpongeBob spots some Christmas carolers and hands them each a slice of fruit cake. The fish begin experiencing the effects of [[jerktonium]], and they begin to get angry. Plankton comes out and notices that the jerktonium had worked on the fish.

Downtown, SpongeBob begins passing out fruit cakes, and the citizens begin to behave in unacceptably. SpongeBob is oblivious, and he continues to sing. Plankton rides through town on a unicycle, noticing the citizens wreaking havoc on the city and is delighted. SpongeBob passes a little boy on Santa's lap, and he gives Santa a piece of fruit cake. Santa tells the kid to get a job and buy all of the gifts himself and to brush his teeth. The slay driver escapes, and the slay falls off the cliff and crashes. Plankton returns to the Chum Bucket, where Karen tells him his plan has failed, because SpongeBob's heart protects him from jerktonium. Plankton unleashes a robotic SpongeBob onto the streets of Bikini Bottom to ruin SpongeBob’s reputation. The robot begins destroying stuff to ruin Christmas.

SpongeBob begins riding through Bikini Bottom, and he notices everybody being rude to him. The next day on Christmas Eve, SpongeBob notices the townsfolk treating each other poorly. SpongeBob turns to Squidward, and he tells him to go to Sandy's house. The robotic SpongeBob walks up and begins to anger Squidward, who thinks it is SpongeBob. At Sandy’s house, Sandy is rude to SpongeBob, and she does not help him with his problem. SpongeBob tries to leave, but accidentally knocks the fruitcake into an analyzer. Sandy reads that the fruit cake is contaminated with jerktonium. SpongeBob tells her he got the food from Plankton, at which point she calls him an idiot. SpongeBob says he must be the biggest jerk in town because he ate a lot of fruit cake. She scans SpongeBob and tells him that everyone knows he is allergic to jerktonium. Sandy uses the analyzer to reveal a formula for the antidote. However, the antidote is a song which SpongeBob hums, and it cures Sandy.

SpongeBob shows up downtown and begins singing to rid everyone of the jerktonium. After everyone is rid of the jerktonium, Santa shows up and tells SpongeBob that everyone in town is on his naughty list besides Plankton. Santa gives Plankton the secret formula, and Santa tells SpongeBob he was the worst of all. The SpongeBob robot shows up and begins wreaking havoc, to which Santa points out that SpongeBob is doing it, except that Santa found out that it was the robot all along. The robot tries to destroy Santa, but SpongeBob destroys the robot and saves Santa. Christmas is saved and Mr. Krabs gets the formula back from Plankton. Santa flies off and Patrick sneaks on with him in an attempt to capture him.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the second Christmas based episode. The first one was [[Christmas Who? (Episode)|Christmas Who?]].
*This is the second episode to use stop-motion animation. The first was [[Truth or Square (Episode)|Truth or Square]]. However, this is the first full [[stop-motion]] episode.
*This is the only SpongeBob episode to air on CBS.
*This is the only Season 8 episode to be produced in HD.
*SpongeBob drives a vehicle, the [[JerkMaker 9000]], throughout the episode, albeit not a boat.
*The song, "[[Don’t Be a Jerk]]" is featured in this episode. The song originally aired in 2009.
*SpongeBob actually went in Sandy’s Treedome without his water helmet. Yet, he was not affected by air.
*In one scene when Pearl ate the fruit cake and transformed into a jerk, the next scene shows that, in the background, Pearl is in her normal state, despite the fact that she just transformed into said ailment.
*When SpongeBob walked away from the [[jerktonium]]-affected Sandy and said, "I’ll have to solve this on my own.", the acorn suddenly appeared in his path in the next frame.
*The DVD version featured a [[Patchy the Pirate]] sub-plot in stop motion, making it the first episode to show Patchy and Potty not in live action.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: It's a SpongeBob Christmas!|Transcript for It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]]

{{Specials}}
{{Holiday Episodes}}
{{Season8}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 8]]
[[de:SpongeBobs Weihnachten (Episode)]]