SpongePedia - User contributions [en]

Porous Pockets (Episode)

2009-02-21T14:46:30Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>http://i678.photobucket.com/albums/vv149/SpongePedia/Season6%20Title%20Cards/Porous-Pockets.jpg</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Porous Pockets
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || TBA
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 28.11.2008
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 6
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Choir Boys (Episode)|Choir Boys]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Porous Pockets"''' is an episode from Season 6

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*SpongeBob's 497 friends
*[[Scooter]]
*[[Nat]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Herb]] (Patrick's Dad, Mentioned)

===Places===
*[[Jellyfish Fields]]
*Mall
*[[Patrick's House]]

===Time Cards Shown===
*The Following Thursday....

==Plot==
The episode starts with SpongeBob and Patrick hearing giant shrieks. They discover the shrieks are coming from a choking clam, and make it stop choking. The clam spits out a pearl and runs away. SpongeBob and Patrick decide the pearl is a volleyball, and go to a volleyball court to
play with it. At the court, an employee spots them holding the pearl and trades SpongeBob more than a million dollars for the pearl, causing SpongeBob to become the richest citizen of Bikini Bottom. They are next seen watching as truckloads of cash dump the cash onto SpongeBob's house.

At an ice cream stand, SpongeBob is befriended by a group because of his money when he gives them some money to buy ice cream with. He instantly turns his pineapple into a huge mansion and begins giving out his money, stating he has a lot already. Patrick comes to visit, but a butler SpongeBob hired tells him he can't come because he isn't on the guest list, yet Patrick gets in by tricking him into retying his shoes and sneaking in. He eventually finds SpongeBob and tells him to stop wasting all his money, claiming that if he continues, he will go broke, but SpongeBob pays no mind to him, and Mr. Krabs kicks him out when Spongebob tells him Patrick won't leave him alone. When more of SpongeBob's "friends" demand money, SpongeBob agrees and searches for more cash, but discovers to his horror he spent it all. When he returns, he finds the living room empty. SpongeBob visits Patrick and begs Patrick to be his friend again, and Patrick agrees. He then says he found a new volleyball from the Bikini Bottom Diamond Mine, and the episode ends.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*Patrick's dad is mentioned.
*It is revealed in this episode that Patrick can mimic other people.
*This is the second episode in which [[Kelp Jerky]] is seen. The first episode is [[Sun Bleached]].
*The diamond Patrick shows SpongeBob at the end of the episode implies that Patrick becomes a millionaire too, but it is never shown.
*Peterson is shown in the mansion, gesturing that he managed to befriend SpongeBob and become a rich man. the same implies for Mr. Krabs and a bunch of other people seen in the mansion.
*SpongeBob manages to get through the money pile surrounding his house by creating a passageway through it, but it's nearly impossible to do that without the tunnel collapsing in on you.
*It is unknown what this episode will be paired up with.
*The title card has the same music as [[Shuffleboarding]].

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Porous Pockets]]

{{Season6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 6]]

Shuffleboarding (Episode)

2009-02-21T14:45:46Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>http://s678.photobucket.com/albums/vv149/SpongePedia/Season6%20Title%20Cards/GetAttachment2-1.jpg</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Shuffleboarding
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 117a
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 16.02.2009
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 6
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || TBA
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Professor Squidward]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Shuffleboarding"''' is an episode from Season 6.

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[ManRay]]
*[[Grandma]]
*[[Tyler]] and his sister
*Mable
*Citizens of [[Bikini Bottom]]

===Places===
*[[Shady Shoals]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob and Patrick are annoying their heroes at Shady Shoals with Mermaid Man's mermerang. The mermerang then goes out of control, and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, along with Sponge and Pat, fall to the [[Mermalair]] crazily. SpongeBob and Patrick, unfortunately, land on their heroes and get them a trip to the hospital.

At the hospital, SpongeBob learns that his heroes are booked for a shuffleboarding tournament, but cannot go because they are hurt. SpongeBob and Patrick dress up as them to take their place. Barnacle Boy reminds SpongeBob to just go to the shuffleboarding tournament, play, then come right back and not mess anything up. SpongeBob and Patrick agree, then depart to the tournament. They surprisingly win and not mess anything up. Just as they are about to go back, Patrick sees some kids supposedly littering and gets SpongeBob to join him in throwing "criminals" in jail. For the rest of the day, the two spend their time throwing everyone in Bikini Bottom in jail for some "crimes".

After their work is done, SpongeBob and Patrick spot Man Ray going into a washeteria. There he interacts with an old woman named Mable, the person he went to the prom with years ago. SpongeBob and Patrick think they are plotting a crime and throw the two in jail. Now that their work is officially done, SpongeBob and Patrick go back to Shady Shoals and give Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy their trophies and costumes. At that moment, the citizens of Bikini Bottom who were in jail arrive in an angry mob and chase the superheroes away, of which SpongeBob and Patrick have no idea.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This episode marks the third time Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy appear in Season 6.
*Squidward and Mr. Krabs do not appear in this episode.
*[[Grandma]]'s third appearance. First episode: [[Have You Seen This Snail?]]. Second: [[Boating Buddies]]
*This episode marks the first time that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy appear the most in a season.
*The episode is called Shuffleboarding, but that doesn't actually happen in the episode.
*"My Leg" can be heard in this episode.
*ManRay had a girlfriend named Mable back in highschool.
*The title card has the same music as [[Porous Pockets]].

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Shuffleboarding]]

{{Season6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: The Inmates of Summer

2009-02-21T14:43:34Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man vs. SpongeBob|Mermaid Man vs. SpongeBob]]
|[[Episode Transcript: To Save a Squirrel|To Save a Squirrel]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Inmates of Summer]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*Prisoners
**[[Dennis]]
*Guards
*[[Sun N Fun]] Camp Leader
*Campers:
**[[Timmy]]
**[[Billy]]
**Mattie Mollusk
**Billy Blenny
**Percy Perch
**Tom Tarpon
**Lois Flatfish

==Dialogue==

(''Scene takes place at the Bikini Bottom Dock & Shipyard ~according to the sign~, where some children are about to go on a trip to somewhere. We then see these children in colorful uniforms waiting in line for a boat. SpongeBob is seen in the uniform, but has piles of luggage. SpongeBob touches his stuff twice gently, and both times let out a small ding of clean-ness. He then claps his hands like he's playing the cymbals, to get rid of the dirt. We then hear a voice.'') 
'''Patrick:''' HEY SPONGEBOB! (''We then see that it's Patrick. He's running to the dock for SpongeBob.'') SPONGEBOB! (''He then falls into the water, and tries to get out, while talking underwater. We then see these 3 children fish looking down at him. Patrick then climbs the deck where SpongeBob is, and gets up. He's now in front of SpongeBob.'') You forgot to tell me you're leaving! (''They both start to have water in their eyes, then very crying-like mouths.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' Well Patrick, I guess... (''Both wobbling in sadness.'') I did. (''Both then hug each other and both start to cry as if they're making a river of tears.'') 
'''Patrick:''' I'm gonna miss you, buddy! 
'''SpongeBob:''' Me too, Patrick, me too! (''In the background, we can start to hear happy music and some marching. We then see what the boat is, and we see the children singing. The sign says, "Camp Sun-N-Fun or Bust!" The children are singing: "Sun Fun Island; get some fun. Sun Fun Island, here we come. Sun Fun Island; to get some fun!" *Cries of joy can be heard.* Confetti starts falling, and SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. The children can still be heard singing along to the song. Another boat comes up, but it's metal platted, and doesn't look too friendly. We then see people wearing black and white stripped hats and overalls wearing handcuffs, marching to the boat. They look like prisoners. We then see that it has wires with pointed blades on them at the top, and barred windows. At the entrance, we see this Warden looking out. SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. They then suddenly give in, and stop crying.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh Patrick, if I had only known how hard not saying goodbye could be... (''SpongeBob then gets an idea, and we hear the idea bell. SpongeBob yells like he got an idea. He then starts stuttering on how good the idea is.'') 
'''Patrick:''' Well, see you later, bud. (''SpongeBob grabs him and interrupts.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' PATRICK, THAT'S IT! You can come with me to summer camp! Then I'd never have to say goodbye! 
'''Patrick:''' Summer camp? But I'm not even ready yet! 
'''SpongeBob:''' How about now? 
'''Patrick:''' Yep! (''We then see the normal bubble transition. We're now in the entrance to the scary boat with the Warden in front of it'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' (''to the Warden'') ...this stuff is just my carry-on, quarter. (''We see them smiling, with SpongeBob carrying 2 purses, and Patrick holding a wooden coffin.'') The rest of my things are right over there. (''SpongeBob points to where they are, and the Warden gets angry, and starts growling. SpongeBob tosses his stuff to the Warden, and runs in. Patrick does the same. 
'''Patrick:''' Weee! Haha! 
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh and quarter, thanks! (''He tosses a quarter to the Warden. The Warden gets so angry, he burns a whole through the coffin, but very calmly. He starts to move his eyes in a swiftly manner, and tosses the stuff to the body of water. He goes in, locks the door with metal bars with pointy ends, and leaves with the stuff on the dock. We then see fog everywhere. We see SpongeBob, up close, looking out on the barred window. The camera zooms out, and we see the boat SpongeBob was suppose to be on.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' Boy, that looked like a boring boat to be on, huh, guys? (''He looks back in the boat, and we see the prisoners. SpongeBob is smiling, but the prisons are not. They're sitting there, on benches in the middle of the room, with annoyed-mean expression on their face. A light bulb is swinging around in the background.'') Guys? (''We then see lightning strike, and we see their destination: a small island, filled with rocky, pointy-edged, rocks that seem would kill you if you touched it. There's a fort in the middle, with barbed wire at the top, and an open room in the middle. They're all standing there in a corner. We zoom in there, and the door slams opened. We see the Warden go in, and as he comes in, we hear his footsteps, and see the prisons watch in silence, with sweat on their face. We then see the Warden's boots walking towards them. We get a close up of the people, and see all but SpongeBob and Patrick are having that same look. SpongeBob and Patrick have their mouths shaped like an "o", with them looking at the Warden in amazement. We then see a close-up of the Warden's face, and he has a tense expression on his face.'') 
'''Warden:''' Welcome to Inferno Island! (''We then see SpongeBob and Patrick, screaming with joy.'') WHAT IN THE SEVEN SEAS JUST INSULTED MY EAR DRUM? Could that had been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must had been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that (''He gets in their faces'') I have a VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION! Because it so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away! 
'''SpongeBob:''' (''Whispering to Patrick'') I had always preferred to recycle. (''Everyone starts to snicker, except the Warden. We hear a whistle, and then we span up to SpongeBob and Patrick.'') 
'''Warden:''' HOLY FISHPASTE! We got ourselves a couple of "rabble rousers". What's your name, son? 
'''SpongeBob:''' SpongeBob SquarePants! (''He says it very happily.'') 
'''Warden:''' And are you a rabble rouser? 
'''SpongeBob:''' (''Chuckles for a second'') Funny you should ask... once I had... 
'''Warden:''' Well I hope you aren't, because you sure look mighty tasty. It isn't too soon after breakfast for me to want to CHEW SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF! 
'''Patrick:''' (''Whispers to SpongeBob'') Actually, I am a little hungry. 
'''Warden:''' HUNGRY?! Barney, fetch these two poor hungry souls a snack. ON THE DOUBLE! (''Barney then comes back and throws tires in front of them. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the tires, and we hear bicycle horns going off. We then see the Warden and Barney, and we hear SpongeBob and Patrick eat the tires. We then see some prisoners.'') 
'''Prisoner #1:''' Ohh. These guys are tough! (''We then see SpongeBob and Patrick with full bellies.'') 
'''Patrick:''' The food coma is setting in. 
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. I could use a nap. (''The Warden comes up quickly, and startles them.'') 
'''Warden:''' DID YOU JUST SAY A NAP?! Well, I know the perfect place for you two to go digest that meal. (''We see them smiling, and the bubble transition comes up again. We see them both in a hole in the ground that's shaped like a cube, and with a barred window-like door at the top.'') A couple days in the hole never hurt anybody. (''They close the door, and we go to SpongeBob and Patrick. We see SpongeBob laying on a corpse.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' This camp is very upscale! (''We then see 3 prisoners carrying a metal tub labeled "chum" on it. At the top, we do see some chum dripping out. We then see the chum has a bone, shoe, and an eyeball in it. The prisoners then dump it into the hole. 
'''Patrick:''' I had no idea that they had a hot tub! (''We then see a timecard that says "Three days later".'') 
'''Warden:''' Alright! Let them out! (''Someone who looks like Barney opens the door. The Warden looks at the prisoners.'') Now pay attention, worms. Watch the way they crawl out on their bellies, begging for mercy, and see what's waiting for you, next time you fell up to same way these two did! (''Warden looks at them, and notices. We see SpongeBob and Patrick with their body all chunky. SpongeBob's head is like a boxed bubble, and Patrick is all chubby.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' It was quite an enjoyable soap, but it wasn't until this guy got thirsty and decided to drink the bath water! 
'''Patrick:''' Not bad! Except for this aftertaste. (''Patrick's breath reaches its way to the Warden and the Warden smells it. His eyes get big in disgust. The prisoners are now coughing, because it smells so bad.'') 
'''Warden:''' Cut your traps, all of ya, because of that little outburst, I am going to treat you all to an activity so heart-wrenchingly boring, it physically exhausting, that it is GARANTEED to render your souls broken beyond repair! 
'''SpongeBob & Patrick:''' YAY! (''Another bubble transition occurs, and then we are at in a mine, where the prisoners are mining the rocks. They all look bored, except for SpongeBob and Patrick.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' This is a pretty fun camp game, huh Patrick? 
'''Patrick:''' Yeah! 
'''SpongeBob:''' Its made it even more fun and challenging by the fact that we're wearing these heavy ankle weights. (''We zoom out to a view of Inferno Island, where we see it's storming even worse. We then go in where they sleep.'') 
'''Warden:'' (''In background. We now see SpongeBob in "bed".'') Good night, ladies! (''We then hear the prisoners complaining, and then SpongeBob pats his pillow, grabs it, and notices that it's made out of paper. SpongeBob gets on the side of his bed and sighs.'') 
'''Patrick:''' What's wrong, SpongeBob? (''We now know that Patrick is on the bottom bunk.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' The other campers just aren't having as much fun as you and me. 
'''Patrick:''' If only we could think of some sort group activity that we can all do together, then we would all be having the same amount of fun as each other. (''Patrick rolls to his right, and we hear sliding.'') Good night! (''We then hear the usual idea noise, and we see SpongeBob has a light bulb above his head.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' THAT'S IT! We'll show him we can be self-starters! (''We see a bubble transition, and then we see SpongeBob at a desk, typing on a typewriter, with a lamp on. The clock says 9:00, and we then see SpongeBob from the typewriter's point of view, and there are mounds of typed papers. SpongeBob is pushing the typewriter keys one by one, with one finger each. We see the clock again, and it says 7:30. SpongeBob then gets in front of the door labeled "Warden", with his pile of papers in front of him. SpongeBob then slides each paper under the door, one by one, until the whole thing is inside. Then we go to the place where they sleep, and we hear the Warden blow his whistle.'') 
'''''Warden:''' Rise and shine! (''Everyone gets in a line in front of the Warden.'') Now, which one of you vile, low-down, vile miserable ratchet swine left this pathetic, worthless, horror and meaningless... (''Breathes deeply.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' (''SpongeBob then raises his right arm, and points with one finger up.'') Uh... abomination? 
'''Warden:''' Who said that? 
'''SpongeBob:''' Me, sir! (''SpongeBob waves with his right arm, while being perky.'') 
'''Warden:''' What is the meaning of this thing? 
'''SpongeBob:''' It's a play, for our amusement, and inspiration! (''Warden backs up, and looks like he's in shock, and then ponders.'') 
'''Warden:''' Good. Well then, I'll watch your play, and I will enjoy every act of your pathetic, meaningless, ridiculous, production. You know why? 
'''Prisoner #2:''' Uhh...because you cherish the fine art of dysbarism? 
'''Warden:''' NO! Because this will be the last act you will ever perform in your pathetic lives! So, get to it! And I'd better be truly entertained! 
'''SpongeBob:''' COOL! (''We see the bubble transition, and we see them working on building a steam-powered boat, while the others are mining.'') 
'''Prisoner #3:''' Kid's wasting his time. (''Stops, and notices they're making a boat.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' All done! (''We zoom out, and see it. It really is an actual boat.'') 
'''Prisoner #3:''' You thinkin’ what I'm thinkin’? 
'''Prisoner #4:''' Hmmmmm... 
'''Prisoner #3:''' IT'S A BOAT, YOU SIMPLETON! What do boats do? 
'''Prisoner #4:''' Ummm... make soap? 
'''Prisoner #3:''' NO! (''He slaps #4.'') You knucklehead! They float, away from this island, with all of us on board! (''All of the prisoners huddle up.'') Now, here's the plan: (''We now hear whispering, and we're unable to tell what they say. They then turn to the boat.'') Hey, buddy! Need some help? 
'''SpongeBob:''' Really? 
'''Prisoner #3:''' Sure! (''We then see a timecard that says "Opening Night". We then see an actual red curtain and stage lights at the dock. We see 3 chairs in the front of it. They all sit down. One of the guards is holding popcorn and the Warden is holding a program that's labeled, "Play Bill". The curtain then rises, and we then see SpongeBob looking through a spies warden.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' I forgives men, what forces blow the merriments of gallery? 
'''Prisoner #3:''' (''The prisoners are now seen behind the curtains.'') GET READY! (''The others grunt, and then suddenly become happy.'') 

Music: [[Together]]

'Tis we, here to sing the song of merry time for all of day. 
Together! (''Patrick is playing an electric guitar and plays a wild solo.'') 
Together! TOGETHER! (''Patrick is playing an electric drum set.'') 
Together! (''Patrick is playing a synthesizer and strikers a chord.'') 
Together! Together! Together! To-geth-er. 
Like a boat, upon the sea! 
Together! 
We're happy, because we're working. 
Together! 
That's the way, it's ought to be! 
Together! 
Just you, and you, and you, and you and me! 
Together! Togeeeetttthhhher! TOGETHER!

----
(''Curtain goes down, and the show ends. Warden and the guards are now clapping and screaming with joy. One of them is throwing roses at the stage. Warden starts to cry.'') 
'''Warden:''' I-I-I had never seen anything so beautiful... (''hugs the guards'') 
'''Prisoner #3:''' Ok, let's do it! (''They start to sail away.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh... Hey guys! What are you doing? 
'''Prisoner #3:''' We're breaking out of here, yeah, that's what! ESCAPIN'! Oh, uh thanks for the convincin' stage craft! (''They start to sail away. Warden and the guards are seen again and are still clapping.'') 
'''Warden:''' Encore! Encore! Encore! Do it again! (''Curtain raises by itself, revealing the boat is gone, and SpongeBob and Patrick are standing there, all by themselves.'') WHAT THE?! (''The boat starts to sink, as they sail away. We then notice that the boat isn't complete, as it only had one side. They stay there in the water, and claim they can't swim. SpongeBob and Patrick bow. Another bubble transition comes up, and we all see them standing in line, all wet. We see the Warden walking back and forth.'') 
'''Warden:''' I'm stuffed. I can't even begin to imagine a punishment appropriate for what has happened here tonigh'! Bert cannot attempt to describe the disgusting, vile, th-th-the complete disregard for the story tradition of musical theatre. So, startin' this very moment, every one of you will be sentenced to... (''We hear "Ahoy" in the background. Warden turns around and sees someone through his spies warden.'') 
'''Camp Counselor:'' Hello? Yoo-who? 
'''Warden:''' WHAT IN THE NAME OF... (''The Camp Counselor goes up on the deck, and coughs for swimming hard.'') For Neptune's sake man, speak to Kings english! 
'''Camp Counselor:''' I'm... I'm Camp Counselor Crouss from Sun Fun Island! 
'''Warden:''' Your who-what? 
'''Camp Counselor:''' Well, I was doing roll call and discovered one of my Sun-funners was missing! I came to take him back with me. A-e SpongeBob-eh SquarePants? (''Prisoners then get an idea, and pretend to be SpongeBob.'') 
'''Warden:''' ENOUGH. So tell me Counselor, just what do they do on your Sunny Funny Island? 
'''Camp Counselor:''' Well, we uh make macaroni art... 
'''Warden:''' EEE GAD. 
'''Camp Counselor''': And we sing campfire songs! 
'''Warden:''' Ahck! 
'''Camp Counselor:''' Oh and we help and support each other. (Warden's head explodes with scary thoughts.) 
Warden: These heinous activities sound like torture too severe for even the lowest, filthiest, undeserving... (''He gets an idea.'') Wait a minute! I have a brilliant idea! (''We now see plates with glue and macaroni on them. The prisoners are making noises in responce to what they're doing. They hate it. Prisoner #4 made a smiley face out of it.''') 
Camp Counselor: (''To Prisoner #4'') Oh, that is very good, mister! (''We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick sigh. They both say each other's names at the same time.'') 
'''SpongeBob:''' You first. 
'''Patrick:''' I... I like the other island better! 
'''SpongeBob:''' ME TOO! (''Both start crying uncontrollably.'')

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

{{Slogan}}

Professor Squidward (Episode)

2009-02-21T14:40:28Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

Episode Transcript: The Splinter

2009-02-21T14:36:21Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Burger braten verboten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Gone|Gone]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Slide Whistle Stooges|Slide Whistle Stooges]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Splinter]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
SpongeBob: 6,5,4,3,2,1! Open for business!

Squidward: Yahoo.

SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, can I do it today? Can I?

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I suppose you can have the honor today, lad.

(SpongeBob turns the closed sign to open) (laughs)

Squidward: (counting money) 27...28... (SpongeBob steps on Squidward's face)

SpongeBob: Freshness, check. Buns, check. Fresh patties...check. Whoops, I'm forgetting one minor detail. (squeezes hat out of his head) Oh, yeah. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you? (eyelashes burn off)

Note (from Squidward): 2 Krabby Patties. P.S. SpongeBob, you're an idiot. LOVE, Squidward.

SpongeBob: Two Krabby patties. P.S., SpongeBob, you're an idiot. Looove, Squidward! Hah, love you, too, Squiddy. Two Krabby Patties, coming right up! (twirls Spat, but it gets stuck on the roof. tries jumping for it. he thinks. cut to a scene where a pile of stuff is stacked up to the ceiling. He tries to reach it, but it is unsuccessful. suddenly, some jars of tartar suace from the pile break. meanwhile, SpongeBob goes up to the ceiling and reaches for Spat. he takes it off.) Wow, this thing was really stuck good. (puts it back on) Gotcha! (he falls, and is about to land on fallen swords) Well, I guess this is it. (he is saved by Spat, who gets stuck on a single sword) Oh, you really saved me! (he slips on some tartar sauce, and his finger gets run down on a splinter) Hey, a splinter! Ok, well it's been nice knowing you but you've got to go. Now. OK, out we go. (he cannot take it off) Ow! Oh, that kinda hurts. Ow, that really hurts. Oh, barnacles, this hurts! Conch shell manatee, this is painful! (tries to use Spat to take it off) Ok, you're tough, you're smart, you're charming, but you're still no match for me! Look!
A bald eagle with a mustache! (tries to bite it off, but reveals his skeleton.) OK, fine, stay. But I hope you like making Krabby Patties.

Peterson: (talking to Squidward) Excuse me, sir, but I ordered a couple of Krabby Patties a while ago, and I'm wondering when they'll be out.

Squidward: (plays with his tentacles) It looks like I'm crushing your face. (laughs)

Peterson: So, will they be ready soon?

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't move too much, it ruins it.

SpongeBob: (receives a crumpled note. tries to reach for Spat, but the splinter prevents him) Ow. Ow. Ow. You're making this a little bit difficult. Luckily, I am ambidexterous! (presses
button on Spat, string comes out, and he ties the spatula to his nose. so he makes them.)
Perfection!

SpongeBob: (dinging the serving bell) Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Squidward: I hear you! I hear you!

SpongeBob: OK, good, because these 2 Krabby Patties are ready!

Squidward: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Squidward: Can I ask you something?

SpongeBob: Yes.

Squidward: (smiling with a calm, relaxed voice) What's that? [referring to the spatula tied onto SpongeBob's nose]

SpongeBob: What's what?

Squidward: You know. (flicks spatula tied to SpongeBob's nose)

SpongeBob: Know what?

Squidward: (in the same tone as before) This.

SpongeBob: What?

Squidward: (same tone) This thing, here.

SpongeBob: What thing where?

Squidward: (same tone) The spatula...TIED TO YOUR NOSE!!

SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! (explains quickly)Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I
screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see?
And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh?

Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squiddy.

Squidward: (grumbles) Injury. Your brain is injured! (gets an idea) Wait a minute. Did you say
that you got that splinter injury at work?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no. That's nooooot good.

SpongeBob: I know, it hurts so bad.

Squidward: Yeah, when Mr. Krabs finds out, oh maaan.

SpongeBob: Finds out what?

Squidward: Finds out about this injury.

SpongeBob: You mean my splinter?

Squidward: He'll be forced to send you home.

SpongeBob: H-H-H-H-Home? But I'm fine!

Squidward: Here, let me take this for you. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula)

SpongeBob: Why? Hey, wait, I'm fine!

Squidward: It was a good shift while it lasted. (walks into the bathroom. SpongeBob follows)

SpongeBob: While it lasted? What are you doing?

(both walk into a stall. Squidward flushes SpongeBob's hat and spatula down the toilet)

SpongeBob: W-W-W-W-What are you doing?

Squidward: I know it's hard to say good-bye.

SpongeBob: But, but, but Squidward, I'm fine! (starts dancing) Look at me! I'm fine! I'm OK! Look at me, nothing's wrong! (takes some toilet paper and wraps up his splinter) See? See?

Squidward: Oh, I believe you SpongeBob, but unfortunately the rules clearly state that you must
be sent home.

SpongeBob: No, anything but that. Please Squidward, you can't let this happen! (cries) You can't let the force be away!

Squidward: Sorry, the rules are the rules.

(SpongeBob starts crying)

Squidward: Yeah, it'll be pretty quiet around here with Mr. Krabs sending you home early and all. I just hope we'll make it through the whole rest of the day without you here. (smiles)

(SpongeBob breathes deeply)

SpongeBob: Please, Squidward! Don't tell Mr. Kra-a-a-abs!

Squidward: What? Me? Tell Mr. Krabs? Oh ,noooo. No, no, no no no no no. No.

SpongeBob: Phew.

Squidward: Well, maybe.

SpongeBob: AAAAAGH! (holds heart emitting from his chest)

Squidward: I don't have to tell Mr. Krabs...

(SpongeBob is relieved)

Squidward: (leans close to SpongeBob's ear) ...because he already knows.

(SpongeBob's eyes open wide and his nose droops) (Squidward grabs 2 pillows and places them over his ears while SpongeBob screams)

SpongeBob: He does?

Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs has preturnatural instincts when it comes to situations like this. It's almost as if when something's amiss in his restaurant (leans close to SpongeBob)
he can smell it.

(SpongeBob and Squidward look out the kitchen window at Mr. Krabs, who is sniffing around. Mr. Krabs smells someone's wallet, and 2 quarters get stuck in his nostrils)

Mr. Krabs: These quarters smell sad. You're not planning to get a refill with them, are ya!

Fish: No, I wasn't. (throws soda on the ground and walks out)

SpongeBob: (gasps) You're right, Squidward! I need help!

(shows SpongeBob dialing a phone)

SpongeBob: Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up. (Patrick answers but doesn't say
anything.)

SpongeBob: (taps his foot while waiting) Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness you're there. I got a splinter on my thumb and...

Patrick: Mm-hm, mm-hm. I see. Well, I'm pretty booked today, but I think I can fit you in.

SpongeBob: (opens back door with Patrick sitting in the dumpster with his phone.) Thanks, Patrick.

Patrick: No problem. (hangs up)

(Patrick dives into the dumpster and comes back up wearing a doctor outfit)

Patrick: (putting on gloves) You called the right person, Mr. SpongeBob. Now, let's see where
the problem's at. (grabs SpongeBob's leg and inspects it) Hmmm...interesting. (sniffs his leg)

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick...

Patrick: (puts SpongeBob's leg in his mouth) Hmmm...interesting.

SpongeBob: Patrick?

(Patrick plays with SpongeBob's foot)

SpongeBob: Patrick, this isn't helping!

Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry. (pulls SpongeBob's foot out of his mouth) I didn't realize you were a
doctor.

SpongeBob: I'm not!

Patrick: I'm sure you can figure it out with your 12 years of med school.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you didn't go to med school.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry, I really need your help!

Patrick: Oh, no no, it looks like you have things under control.

SpongeBob: Please, Patrick! I don't want to go home early! (cries)

Patrick: OK. But we play by my rules, SquareBob.

(SpongeBob smiles and nods)

Patrick: (as a doctor, inspecting SpongeBob's thumb which has a splinter in it) Well, here's your problem! Don't you worry, buddy. We'll make it go away.

SpongeBob: Phew, thanks Patrick, you're a life saver.

Patrick: (takes out a huge wooden spike and a hammer, placing the spike ontop of the splinter and lines up the hammer, then Patrick slams the splinter further into SpongeBob's thumb)

SpongeBob: Ow! (SpongeBob's thumb swells up horrifically and grows ten times in size)

Patrick: There appears to be a little bit of swelling. (Patrick picks up a lump of trash_ This garbage compress should help that go down. (Patrick smothers the swollen thumb with the garbage. The garbage slides off of it and the area where the splinter is inserted fizzes a sickly green ooze and turns SpongeBob's thumb a dark purple) That doesn't look good. (Patrick's pager beeps) But my shift's over. Call me in the morning...if you can still dial the phone. (Puts hat on and walks away)

(SpongeBob walks back inside, but Mr. Krabs and Squidward are there)

Mr. Krabs: What's that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Mr. Krabs: Behind your back?

SpongeBob: You mean this? (pulls his splinter out from behind his back, but the splinter is covered by his hat)

Mr. Krabs: Put your hat on, boy! Show some company pride!

SpongeBob: (puts hat on) Haha, company pride, of course.

Mr. Krabs: Uhh.. SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Mr. Krabs: Have you always had 3 legs?

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob has a sock and shoe over his splintered thumb to hide it) Yes...

Mr. Krabs: (believing tone) Interesting... well what's this about a splinter that Squidward's
been telling me all about?

(SpongeBob panicks)

Mr. Krabs: All right, boy, let's see it.

(SpongeBob gets scared)

Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob, it's just a little splinter. I mean how bad can it... (SpongeBob reveals his massive, swollen thumb which has a slight area of pale green fizz around the impaled center.) gah-gah, ai-ai, rah-AAHH! Oh, merciful Neptune!

Squidward: (moans and faints)

Mr. Krabs: OK, no problem. No problem. (easily picks out the splinter. there is a brief pause and the tip of SpongeBob's thumb pops and shoots out confetti) Problem solv-- [a mass amount of pale green pus shoots out of SpongeBob's thumb onto Mr. Krabs' face, he makes gurgling sounds but takes out an umbrella as it dies down) Whew. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to pay you worker's "compersation."

SpongeBob: What's worker's compensation?

Mr. Krabs: You know, when you get paid for sitting at home.

Squidward: (Squidward's eyes shoot open) You mean I can get paid while I'm at home?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, what did ya think "compersation" stands for?

Squidward: (breaks the cash register out of the boat counter and slowly smashes it onto his head two times) Ow!

Mr. Krabs: Uhhh...Squidward?

Squidward: (throws the cash register up into the air and gets crushed by it, then squirms) Can I get my "compersation" now?

Mr. Krabs: Whoops. Sorry, Squidward, your shift ended over 2 minutes ago.

Squidward: (sighs)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: The Splinter

2009-02-21T14:36:08Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Burger braten verboten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Gone|Gone]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Slide Whistle Stooges|Slide Whistle Stooges]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Splinter]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
SpongeBob: 6,5,4,3,2,1! Open for business!

Squidward: Yahoo.

SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, can I do it today? Can I?

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I suppose you can have the honor today, lad.

(SpongeBob turns the closed sign to open) (laughs)

Squidward: (counting money) 27...28... (SpongeBob steps on Squidward's face)

SpongeBob: Freshness, check. Buns, check. Fresh patties...check. Whoops, I'm forgetting one minor detail. (squeezes hat out of his head) Oh, yeah. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you? (eyelashes burn off)

Note (from Squidward): 2 Krabby Patties. P.S. SpongeBob, you're an idiot. LOVE, Squidward.

SpongeBob: Two Krabby patties. P.S., SpongeBob, you're an idiot. Looove, Squidward! Hah, love you, too, Squiddy. Two Krabby Patties, coming right up! (twirls Spat, but it gets stuck on the roof. tries jumping for it. he thinks. cut to a scene where a pile of stuff is stacked up to the ceiling. He tries to reach it, but it is unsuccessful. suddenly, some jars of tartar suace from the pile break. meanwhile, SpongeBob goes up to the ceiling and reaches for Spat. he takes it off.) Wow, this thing was really stuck good. (puts it back on) Gotcha! (he falls, and is about to land on fallen swords) Well, I guess this is it. (he is saved by Spat, who gets stuck on a single sword) Oh, you really saved me! (he slips on some tartar sauce, and his finger gets run down on a splinter) Hey, a splinter! Ok, well it's been nice knowing you but you've got to go. Now. OK, out we go. (he cannot take it off) Ow! Oh, that kinda hurts. Ow, that really hurts. Oh, barnacles, this hurts! Conch shell manatee, this is painful! (tries to use Spat to take it off) Ok, you're tough, you're smart, you're charming, but you're still no match for me! Look!
A bald eagle with a mustache! (tries to bite it off, but reveals his skeleton.) OK, fine, stay. But I hope you like making Krabby Patties.

Peterson: (talking to Squidward) Excuse me, sir, but I ordered a couple of Krabby Patties a while ago, and I'm wondering when they'll be out.

Squidward: (plays with his tentacles) It looks like I'm crushing your face. (laughs)

Peterson: So, will they be ready soon?

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't move too much, it ruins it.

SpongeBob: (receives a crumpled note. tries to reach for Spat, but the splinter prevents him) Ow. Ow. Ow. You're making this a little bit difficult. Luckily, I am ambidexterous! (presses
button on Spat, string comes out, and he ties the spatula to his nose. so he makes them.)
Perfection!

SpongeBob: (dinging the serving bell) Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Squidward: I hear you! I hear you!

SpongeBob: OK, good, because these 2 Krabby Patties are ready!

Squidward: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Squidward: Can I ask you something?

SpongeBob: Yes.

Squidward: (smiling with a calm, relaxed voice) What's that? [referring to the spatula tied onto SpongeBob's nose]

SpongeBob: What's what?

Squidward: You know. (flicks spatula tied to SpongeBob's nose)

SpongeBob: Know what?

Squidward: (in the same tone as before) This.

SpongeBob: What?

Squidward: (same tone) This thing, here.

SpongeBob: What thing where?

Squidward: (same tone) The spatula...TIED TO YOUR NOSE!!

SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! (explains quickly)Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I
screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see?
And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh?

Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squiddy.

Squidward: (grumbles) Injury. Your brain is injured! (gets an idea) Wait a minute. Did you say
that you got that splinter injury at work?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no. That's nooooot good.

SpongeBob: I know, it hurts so bad.

Squidward: Yeah, when Mr. Krabs finds out, oh maaan.

SpongeBob: Finds out what?

Squidward: Finds out about this injury.

SpongeBob: You mean my splinter?

Squidward: He'll be forced to send you home.

SpongeBob: H-H-H-H-Home? But I'm fine!

Squidward: Here, let me take this for you. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula)

SpongeBob: Why? Hey, wait, I'm fine!

Squidward: It was a good shift while it lasted. (walks into the bathroom. SpongeBob follows)

SpongeBob: While it lasted? What are you doing?

(both walk into a stall. Squidward flushes SpongeBob's hat and spatula down the toilet)

SpongeBob: W-W-W-W-What are you doing?

Squidward: I know it's hard to say good-bye.

SpongeBob: But, but, but Squidward, I'm fine! (starts dancing) Look at me! I'm fine! I'm OK! Look at me, nothing's wrong! (takes some toilet paper and wraps up his splinter) See? See?

Squidward: Oh, I believe you SpongeBob, but unfortunately the rules clearly state that you must
be sent home.

SpongeBob: No, anything but that. Please Squidward, you can't let this happen! (cries) You can't let the force be away!

Squidward: Sorry, the rules are the rules.

(SpongeBob starts crying)

Squidward: Yeah, it'll be pretty quiet around here with Mr. Krabs sending you home early and all. I just hope we'll make it through the whole rest of the day without you here. (smiles)

(SpongeBob breathes deeply)

SpongeBob: Please, Squidward! Don't tell Mr. Kra-a-a-abs!

Squidward: What? Me? Tell Mr. Krabs? Oh ,noooo. No, no, no no no no no. No.

SpongeBob: Phew.

Squidward: Well, maybe.

SpongeBob: AAAAAGH! (holds heart emitting from his chest)

Squidward: I don't have to tell Mr. Krabs...

(SpongeBob is relieved)

Squidward: (leans close to SpongeBob's ear) ...because he already knows.

(SpongeBob's eyes open wide and his nose droops) (Squidward grabs 2 pillows and places them over his ears while SpongeBob screams)

SpongeBob: He does?

Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs has preturnatural instincts when it comes to situations like this. It's almost as if when something's amiss in his restaurant (leans close to SpongeBob)
he can smell it.

(SpongeBob and Squidward look out the kitchen window at Mr. Krabs, who is sniffing around. Mr. Krabs smells someone's wallet, and 2 quarters get stuck in his nostrils)

Mr. Krabs: These quarters smell sad. You're not planning to get a refill with them, are ya!

Fish: No, I wasn't. (throws soda on the ground and walks out)

SpongeBob: (gasps) You're right, Squidward! I need help!

(shows SpongeBob dialing a phone)

SpongeBob: Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up. (Patrick answers but doesn't say
anything.)

SpongeBob: (taps his foot while waiting) Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness you're there. I got a splinter on my thumb and...

Patrick: Mm-hm, mm-hm. I see. Well, I'm pretty booked today, but I think I can fit you in.

SpongeBob: (opens back door with Patrick sitting in the dumpster with his phone.) Thanks, Patrick.

Patrick: No problem. (hangs up)

(Patrick dives into the dumpster and comes back up wearing a doctor outfit)

Patrick: (putting on gloves) You called the right person, Mr. SpongeBob. Now, let's see where
the problem's at. (grabs SpongeBob's leg and inspects it) Hmmm...interesting. (sniffs his leg)

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick...

Patrick: (puts SpongeBob's leg in his mouth) Hmmm...interesting.

SpongeBob: Patrick?

(Patrick plays with SpongeBob's foot)

SpongeBob: Patrick, this isn't helping!

Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry. (pulls SpongeBob's foot out of his mouth) I didn't realize you were a
doctor.

SpongeBob: I'm not!

Patrick: I'm sure you can figure it out with your 12 years of med school.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you didn't go to med school.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry, I really need your help!

Patrick: Oh, no no, it looks like you have things under control.

SpongeBob: Please, Patrick! I don't want to go home early! (cries)

Patrick: OK. But we play by my rules, SquareBob.

(SpongeBob smiles and nods)

Patrick: (as a doctor, inspecting SpongeBob's thumb which has a splinter in it) Well, here's your problem! Don't you worry, buddy. We'll make it go away.

SpongeBob: Phew, thanks Patrick, you're a life saver.

Patrick: (takes out a huge wooden spike and a hammer, placing the spike ontop of the splinter and lines up the hammer, then Patrick slams the splinter further into SpongeBob's thumb)

SpongeBob: Ow! (SpongeBob's thumb swells up horrifically and grows ten times in size)

Patrick: There appears to be a little bit of swelling. (Patrick picks up a lump of trash_ This garbage compress should help that go down. (Patrick smothers the swollen thumb with the garbage. The garbage slides off of it and the area where the splinter is inserted fizzes a sickly green ooze and turns SpongeBob's thumb a dark purple) That doesn't look good. (Patrick's pager beeps) But my shift's over. Call me in the morning...if you can still dial the phone. (Puts hat on and walks away)

(SpongeBob walks back inside, but Mr. Krabs and Squidward are there)

Mr. Krabs: What's that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Mr. Krabs: Behind your back?

SpongeBob: You mean this? (pulls his splinter out from behind his back, but the splinter is covered by his hat)

Mr. Krabs: Put your hat on, boy! Show some company pride!

SpongeBob: (puts hat on) Haha, company pride, of course.

Mr. Krabs: Uhh.. SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Mr. Krabs: Have you always had 3 legs?

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob has a sock and shoe over his splintered thumb to hide it) Yes...

Mr. Krabs: (believing tone) Interesting... well what's this about a splinter that Squidward's
been telling me all about?

(SpongeBob panicks)

Mr. Krabs: All right, boy, let's see it.

(SpongeBob gets scared)

Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob, it's just a little splinter. I mean how bad can it... (SpongeBob reveals his massive, swollen thumb which has a slight area of pale green fizz around the impaled center.) gah-gah, ai-ai, rah-AAHH! Oh, merciful Neptune!

Squidward: (moans and faints)

Mr. Krabs: OK, no problem. No problem. (easily picks out the splinter. there is a brief pause and the tip of SpongeBob's thumb pops and shoots out confetti) Problem solv-- [a mass amount of pale green pus shoots out of SpongeBob's thumb onto Mr. Krabs' face, he makes gurgling sounds but takes out an umbrella as it dies down) Whew. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to pay you worker's "compersation."

SpongeBob: What's worker's compensation?

Mr. Krabs: You know, when you get paid for sitting at home.

Squidward: (Squidward's eyes shoot open) You mean I can get paid while I'm at home?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, what did ya think "compersation" stands for?

Squidward: (breaks the cash register out of the boat counter and slowly smashes it onto his head two times) Ow!

Mr. Krabs: Uhhh...Squidward?

Squidward: (throws the cash register up into the air and gets crushed by it, then squirms) Can I get my "compersation" now?

Mr. Krabs: Whoops. Sorry, Squidward, your shift ended over 2 minutes ago.

Squidward: (groans)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: The Splinter

2009-02-21T14:35:42Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Burger braten verboten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Gone|Gone]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Slide Whistle Stooges|Slide Whistle Stooges]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Splinter]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialogue==
SpongeBob: 6,5,4,3,2,1! Open for business!

Squidward: Yahoo.

SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, can I do it today? Can I?

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I suppose you can have the honor today, lad.

(SpongeBob turns the closed sign to open) (laughs)

Squidward: (counting money) 27...28... (SpongeBob steps on Squidward's face)

SpongeBob: Freshness, check. Buns, check. Fresh patties...check. Whoops, I'm forgetting one minor detail. (squeezes hat out of his head) Oh, yeah. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you? (eyelashes burn off)

Note (from Squidward): 2 Krabby Patties. P.S. SpongeBob, you're an idiot. ♥ Squidward

SpongeBob: Two Krabby patties. P.S., SpongeBob, you're an idiot. Looove, Squidward! Hah, love you, too, Squiddy. Two Krabby Patties, coming right up! (twirls Spat, but it gets stuck on the roof. tries jumping for it. he thinks. cut to a scene where a pile of stuff is stacked up to the ceiling. He tries to reach it, but it is unsuccessful. suddenly, some jars of tartar suace from the pile break. meanwhile, SpongeBob goes up to the ceiling and reaches for Spat. he takes it off.) Wow, this thing was really stuck good. (puts it back on) Gotcha! (he falls, and is about to land on fallen swords) Well, I guess this is it. (he is saved by Spat, who gets stuck on a single sword) Oh, you really saved me! (he slips on some tartar sauce, and his finger gets run down on a splinter) Hey, a splinter! Ok, well it's been nice knowing you but you've got to go. Now. OK, out we go. (he cannot take it off) Ow! Oh, that kinda hurts. Ow, that really hurts. Oh, barnacles, this hurts! Conch shell manatee, this is painful! (tries to use Spat to take it off) Ok, you're tough, you're smart, you're charming, but you're still no match for me! Look!
A bald eagle with a mustache! (tries to bite it off, but reveals his skeleton.) OK, fine, stay. But I hope you like making Krabby Patties.

Peterson: (talking to Squidward) Excuse me, sir, but I ordered a couple of Krabby Patties a while ago, and I'm wondering when they'll be out.

Squidward: (plays with his tentacles) It looks like I'm crushing your face. (laughs)

Peterson: So, will they be ready soon?

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't move too much, it ruins it.

SpongeBob: (receives a crumpled note. tries to reach for Spat, but the splinter prevents him) Ow. Ow. Ow. You're making this a little bit difficult. Luckily, I am ambidexterous! (presses
button on Spat, string comes out, and he ties the spatula to his nose. so he makes them.)
Perfection!

SpongeBob: (dinging the serving bell) Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Squidward: I hear you! I hear you!

SpongeBob: OK, good, because these 2 Krabby Patties are ready!

Squidward: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Squidward: Can I ask you something?

SpongeBob: Yes.

Squidward: (smiling with a calm, relaxed voice) What's that? [referring to the spatula tied onto SpongeBob's nose]

SpongeBob: What's what?

Squidward: You know. (flicks spatula tied to SpongeBob's nose)

SpongeBob: Know what?

Squidward: (in the same tone as before) This.

SpongeBob: What?

Squidward: (same tone) This thing, here.

SpongeBob: What thing where?

Squidward: (same tone) The spatula...TIED TO YOUR NOSE!!

SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! (explains quickly)Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I
screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see?
And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh?

Squidward: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Squiddy.

Squidward: (grumbles) Injury. Your brain is injured! (gets an idea) Wait a minute. Did you say
that you got that splinter injury at work?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no. That's nooooot good.

SpongeBob: I know, it hurts so bad.

Squidward: Yeah, when Mr. Krabs finds out, oh maaan.

SpongeBob: Finds out what?

Squidward: Finds out about this injury.

SpongeBob: You mean my splinter?

Squidward: He'll be forced to send you home.

SpongeBob: H-H-H-H-Home? But I'm fine!

Squidward: Here, let me take this for you. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula)

SpongeBob: Why? Hey, wait, I'm fine!

Squidward: It was a good shift while it lasted. (walks into the bathroom. SpongeBob follows)

SpongeBob: While it lasted? What are you doing?

(both walk into a stall. Squidward flushes SpongeBob's hat and spatula down the toilet)

SpongeBob: W-W-W-W-What are you doing?

Squidward: I know it's hard to say good-bye.

SpongeBob: But, but, but Squidward, I'm fine! (starts dancing) Look at me! I'm fine! I'm OK! Look at me, nothing's wrong! (takes some toilet paper and wraps up his splinter) See? See?

Squidward: Oh, I believe you SpongeBob, but unfortunately the rules clearly state that you must
be sent home.

SpongeBob: No, anything but that. Please Squidward, you can't let this happen! (cries) You can't let the force be away!

Squidward: Sorry, the rules are the rules.

(SpongeBob starts crying)

Squidward: Yeah, it'll be pretty quiet around here with Mr. Krabs sending you home early and all. I just hope we'll make it through the whole rest of the day without you here. (smiles)

(SpongeBob breathes deeply)

SpongeBob: Please, Squidward! Don't tell Mr. Kra-a-a-abs!

Squidward: What? Me? Tell Mr. Krabs? Oh ,noooo. No, no, no no no no no. No.

SpongeBob: Phew.

Squidward: Well, maybe.

SpongeBob: AAAAAGH! (holds heart emitting from his chest)

Squidward: I don't have to tell Mr. Krabs...

(SpongeBob is relieved)

Squidward: (leans close to SpongeBob's ear) ...because he already knows.

(SpongeBob's eyes open wide and his nose droops) (Squidward grabs 2 pillows and places them over his ears while SpongeBob screams)

SpongeBob: He does?

Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs has preturnatural instincts when it comes to situations like this. It's almost as if when something's amiss in his restaurant (leans close to SpongeBob)
he can smell it.

(SpongeBob and Squidward look out the kitchen window at Mr. Krabs, who is sniffing around. Mr. Krabs smells someone's wallet, and 2 quarters get stuck in his nostrils)

Mr. Krabs: These quarters smell sad. You're not planning to get a refill with them, are ya!

Fish: No, I wasn't. (throws soda on the ground and walks out)

SpongeBob: (gasps) You're right, Squidward! I need help!

(shows SpongeBob dialing a phone)

SpongeBob: Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up. (Patrick answers but doesn't say
anything.)

SpongeBob: (taps his foot while waiting) Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness you're there. I got a splinter on my thumb and...

Patrick: Mm-hm, mm-hm. I see. Well, I'm pretty booked today, but I think I can fit you in.

SpongeBob: (opens back door with Patrick sitting in the dumpster with his phone.) Thanks, Patrick.

Patrick: No problem. (hangs up)

(Patrick dives into the dumpster and comes back up wearing a doctor outfit)

Patrick: (putting on gloves) You called the right person, Mr. SpongeBob. Now, let's see where
the problem's at. (grabs SpongeBob's leg and inspects it) Hmmm...interesting. (sniffs his leg)

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick...

Patrick: (puts SpongeBob's leg in his mouth) Hmmm...interesting.

SpongeBob: Patrick?

(Patrick plays with SpongeBob's foot)

SpongeBob: Patrick, this isn't helping!

Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry. (pulls SpongeBob's foot out of his mouth) I didn't realize you were a
doctor.

SpongeBob: I'm not!

Patrick: I'm sure you can figure it out with your 12 years of med school.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you didn't go to med school.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry, I really need your help!

Patrick: Oh, no no, it looks like you have things under control.

SpongeBob: Please, Patrick! I don't want to go home early! (cries)

Patrick: OK. But we play by my rules, SquareBob.

(SpongeBob smiles and nods)

Patrick: (as a doctor, inspecting SpongeBob's thumb which has a splinter in it) Well, here's your problem! Don't you worry, buddy. We'll make it go away.

SpongeBob: Phew, thanks Patrick, you're a life saver.

Patrick: (takes out a huge wooden spike and a hammer, placing the spike ontop of the splinter and lines up the hammer, then Patrick slams the splinter further into SpongeBob's thumb)

SpongeBob: Ow! (SpongeBob's thumb swells up horrifically and grows ten times in size)

Patrick: There appears to be a little bit of swelling. (Patrick picks up a lump of trash_ This garbage compress should help that go down. (Patrick smothers the swollen thumb with the garbage. The garbage slides off of it and the area where the splinter is inserted fizzes a sickly green ooze and turns SpongeBob's thumb a dark purple) That doesn't look good. (Patrick's pager beeps) But my shift's over. Call me in the morning...if you can still dial the phone. (Puts hat on and walks away)

(SpongeBob walks back inside, but Mr. Krabs and Squidward are there)

Mr. Krabs: What's that?

SpongeBob: What's what?

Mr. Krabs: Behind your back?

SpongeBob: You mean this? (pulls his splinter out from behind his back, but the splinter is covered by his hat)

Mr. Krabs: Put your hat on, boy! Show some company pride!

SpongeBob: (puts hat on) Haha, company pride, of course.

Mr. Krabs: Uhh.. SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes?

Mr. Krabs: Have you always had 3 legs?

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob has a sock and shoe over his splintered thumb to hide it) Yes...

Mr. Krabs: (believing tone) Interesting... well what's this about a splinter that Squidward's
been telling me all about?

(SpongeBob panicks)

Mr. Krabs: All right, boy, let's see it.

(SpongeBob gets scared)

Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob, it's just a little splinter. I mean how bad can it... (SpongeBob reveals his massive, swollen thumb which has a slight area of pale green fizz around the impaled center.) gah-gah, ai-ai, rah-AAHH! Oh, merciful Neptune!

Squidward: (moans and faints)

Mr. Krabs: OK, no problem. No problem. (easily picks out the splinter. there is a brief pause and the tip of SpongeBob's thumb pops and shoots out confetti) Problem solv-- [a mass amount of pale green pus shoots out of SpongeBob's thumb onto Mr. Krabs' face, he makes gurgling sounds but takes out an umbrella as it dies down) Whew. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to pay you worker's "compersation."

SpongeBob: What's worker's compensation?

Mr. Krabs: You know, when you get paid for sitting at home.

Squidward: (Squidward's eyes shoot open) You mean I can get paid while I'm at home?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, what did ya think "compersation" stands for?

Squidward: (breaks the cash register out of the boat counter and slowly smashes it onto his head two times) Ow!

Mr. Krabs: Uhhh...Squidward?

Squidward: (throws the cash register up into the air and gets crushed by it, then squirms) Can I get my "compersation" now?

Mr. Krabs: Whoops. Sorry, Squidward, your shift ended over 2 minutes ago.

Squidward: (groans)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. The Patty Gadget

2009-02-20T00:37:05Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Money Talks|Money Talks]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Slimy Dancing|Slimy Dancing]]
|}
Episode article: [[SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget (Episode)|SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patty Gadget]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[King Neptune]]
*Other Bikini Bottomites

==Dialogue==

(a book entitled "The Legend of SpongeBob SquarePants" is on a wooden type platform)

Narrator: Ahoy, mateys! Today I be spillin' a tale ye won't soon forget. (book opens and shows a chapter called "SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget") It's "SpongeBob SquarePants Vs. The Patty Gadget". Now, SpongeBob be workin'. His eye on the grill till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill.

SpongeBob: What's going on? What could it mean?

Narrator: Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cookin' machine. (a round, metal machine comes through the doors) And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne. (zoom in on Squidward's zits on his face)

Squidward: Hey!

Mr. Krabs: What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place?

Squidward: A miracle, a marvel. It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace.

Mr. Krabs: But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste?

Squidward: I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face. (hands Mr. Krabs a Krabby Patty)

Mr. Krabs: I have to admit, that patty was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've already
got a fry cook and he's always on time.

Squidward: Ah, but this gizmo is faster and you won't pay it a dime.

Mr. Krabs: Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost?

Squidward: Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him get lost. (SpongeBob is staring from the kitchen window)

Narrator: The machine wanted his job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door.

SpongeBob: (pushes the grill out the kitchen) I challenge your gadget. I declare patty war.

Narrator: With 3 little words, Krabs started the show. His flag in the air, he cried...

Mr. Krabs: Ready, set, go...!

Narrator: Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever and then sat back feeling oh, so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight in his fist, flung twenty patties, not a single one missed. (SpongeBob throws twenty patties on the grill)

The crowd was VERY impressed.

Sandy: Wow!

Narrator: They cheered full of glee. All except Patrick, who had to go pee. (everyone cheers but Patrick, who is wiggling a lot)

Narrator: A noise and a clatter came from the machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out...

SpongeBob: "I won't be defeated"!

Narrator: He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. And dozens of patties filled up in his cheeks. (breaths in so hard that a bag of patties flee into his mouth) He strained and he sweated, he summoned his will. And shot Krabby Patties all on the grill.

Squidward: "Not bad"

Narrator: Yelled out Squidward.

Squidward: A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high. (pulls down the machine lever to set it on high)

Narrator: The gizmo, it shuddered. It crackled, it shook. And as Squidward laughed:

Squidward: Ha, ha.

Narrator: Sandy said...

Sandy: "What a schnook".

Narrator: But SpongeBob cried out...

SpongeBob: "I won't lose to that thing"!

Narrator: Then he held up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred with out even trying. Squidward was worried. SpongeBob couldn't be beat.

Squidward: I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat.

Narrator: He struggled and strained 'till his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in
two. The gadget buckled and sparked. It cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling...

Squidward: (runs out of the Krusty Krab) "Let me know if I won".

Narrator: Lightning flew from its maw. It looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled...

SpongeBob: "Foul beast, do your worst".

Narrator: The patties came flying, by twos and be threes. By dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see. Aye,
that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master. (patty gadget
blows up) The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud that it woke King Neptune. (King
Neptune is in his bed, asleep, til he hears the boom)
King Neptune: (mumbles) What's that?
(cut back to the Krusty Krab)

Narrator: It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud"! But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud. (SpongeBob falls over. The crowd gasps. Cut to a grave, where Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are standing in front of it)
Narrator: The service was short. Tears were shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset. (Squidward cries and sets flowers over the grave then walks away. Then, SpongeBob walks up to the grave)

SpongeBob: Whoo, yeah! (dances cheerfully)

Narrator: What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget. Ha-ha, this I swear. (pan below the dirt where we see the patty gadget underground. The storybook closes) Well, there is the tale, straight from the book. Now I gotta go and polish me hook!

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Doing Time

2009-02-18T15:16:00Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Snowball Effect|Snowball Effect]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Doing Time]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Mayor Of Bikini Bottom]]
*[[Bikini Bottom Police Force]]
*Prisoners

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is in his driving test again and destroying stuff, as usual) 

Mrs. Puff: The driving test is over, SpongeBob. Stop the boat! 

SpongeBob: Wait, I can do this, Mrs. Puff, I can do this! 

Mrs. Puff: The road, SpongeBob, get back on the road! 

SpongeBob: Gotta pass the test! Gotta pass! (Mrs. Puff is screaming as the boat goes through a cart of watermelons) 

Vendor: Hey! What’ve you got against the melons?! 

Mrs. Puff: Look out! 

SpongeBob: (has a watermelon on his face) This must be the night driving part of the test. (scene cuts to two police
officers using their nightsticks on a parking meter) 

Officer Nancy: We’re gonna straighten you out! 

Officer Malley: This’ll fix ya! (They keep grunting as they hit the meter until it's straight) Now let’s get that one. (points his nightstick at another crooked parking meter. SpongeBob & Mrs. Puff drive by through a building.) 

Officer Nancy: Barnacles, did you see that? 

Officer Malley: Yeah! That guy had no front license plate! Let's get him. (SpongeBob looks back at the numerous police cars chasing behind him) 

SpongeBob: Hey, look at all those police! I wonder if the president’s in town. 

Mrs. Puff: Look out! (The mayor is cutting a ribbon at the end of a bridge that is not finished) 

Mayor: It is with great pride that I officially open this unfinished bridge! (SpongeBob drives through the ribbon before he cuts it. The crowd of people that are gathering around the mayor take pictures. SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff do not make it on the other side of the bridge so they fall to the bottom) 

Mrs. Puff: Where did I go wrong? (flashback to Mrs. Puff’s first day of boating school) With the opening of my new boating school, I pledge that as long as a student is willing to learn, I shall never give up. (SpongeBob walks up to her) 

SpongeBob: Hi, I’m SpongeBob SquarePants. (scene cuts back to Mrs. Puff, who is still screaming. Scene then shows a retirement home where a fish in a white coat is yelling at a truck) 

Fish: Hurry up with the truckload of fruit punch! The seniors are getting cranky! (fish looks up and notices SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff crashing into the truck) 

Mrs. Puff: Alive! I’m alive! Oh, thank Neptune, I’m still... (a squad car smashes down on the boat mobile. The other squad cars fall on and around the truck. The truck falls over on its side as all the fruit punch comes pouring out) 

Feminine Tom: (inside the retirement home) Alright, seniors, let’s open these windows so the world can see your nice white clothes. (when the window is opened, the fruit punch pours in. Scene cuts to Fred, who is mopping the hallway and listening to "Surfin' U.S.A." by the Beach Boys on his headphones. The fruit punch pours in then drains where Fred is still mopping. Scene cut to an elderly fish guy, who is writing on some paper) 

Elderly Fish: Oh, it’s finally finished! A memoir of my life written in red ink. (red punch comes flowing in, making his
memoir papers in red) Aww, barnacles. (scene cuts back to outside where all the mess is) 

Mrs. Puff: Ow. SpongeBob, are you okay? 

SpongeBob: That depends, did I pass?! 

Officer Nancy: Freeze, you’re under arrest! 

Mrs. Puff: Hold it, you can’t arrest him! He’s just a student driver! 

Officer Nancy: We’re not talking about him. (scene cuts to Mrs. Puff wearing a prison uniform, being locked up in jail) 

Mrs. Puff: But I don’t belong here! It’s all a big mistake! (this triggers some other woman prisoners to complain about
their not belonging here too. Puff walks over and sits down on the bed) Ok, you can do this, Puff. You can get through this without losing your sanity. Oh, that’s a road we don’t want to go down again. Positives. Think of the positives. Let’s see...I’ve got no more papers to grade. Yeah! (laughs then jumps to the floor) In fact, no more work. No more boating school classes. No more driving, no more SpongeBob...no more phone solicitors, no more SpongeBob, no more company perplex, no more SpongeBob... (gets into bed) ...no more road rage, no more SpongeBob, no more insurance payments, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob! (sighs) I think I’m gonna like this place. (scene cuts to her boating school) 

SpongeBob: Class just isn’t the same without Mrs. Puff. Just the thought of her alone and afraid in jail makes me think
about her being alone and afraid in jail. I don’t know how she’s going to survive. (scene cuts to Mrs Puff doing a bunch of chores. Scene goes back to SpongeBob) Oh, that poor woman. And it’s all my fault. Maybe if I go talk to Patrick, he can ease my guilt. (scene cuts to outisde Patrick's rock) 

Patrick: Well it sounds like it’s all your fault. 

SpongeBob: Oh, you’re right! Mrs. Puff’s in jail and it’s all because of me! I’m such a barnacle head! (Patrick takes one of his dots and puts it in place of his nose) Poor Mrs. Puff. I know, I gotta get her out! But to get her out of jail, first we gotta get ''in'' jail. 

Patrick: How are we gonna do that? (scene cuts to the First Nautical Bank) 

SpongeBob: Alright, put the money in the bag! (SpongeBob is in the bank, wearing a sock over his head, with a bag facing
the wrong way) Put it in! 

Bank Teller: Umm, you’re facing the wrong way, sir. 

SpongeBob: (laughs then turns around) Alright, give me the money! 

Bank Teller: Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir? 

SpongeBob: Uhh, savings. 

Bank Teller: May I please see some identification? 

SpongeBob: Sure. (takes out a card and gives it to the bank teller) Here ya go. 

Bank Teller: Thank you. (SpongeBob’s Jellyfishers Club Membership card is shown. SpongeBob lifts up the sock on his head
and gives Patrick a thumbs up) Sir, we are seeing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts. 

SpongeBob: Oh. 

Bank Teller: Next! (SpongeBob and Patrick walk out of the bank) 

SpongeBob: Well, that went better than expected. 

Patrick: Yeah! I didn’t think we’d get Mrs. Puff out of jail this fast! (SpongeBob’s eyes rip through the sock. Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick disguised as yellow and pink rocks) 

SpongeBob: Don’t worry, Patrick, we’ll get into jail this time. (a truck full of rocks drives up) 

Fish: Hey, there’s a couple. (gets out and throws the two rocks in the truck) 

Guard: Put your back in it, girls! (women prisoners are crushing rocks outside. The truck arrives and unloads more rocks)
 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, there she is! (both jump over to Mrs. Puff where she is about to hit them) Mrs. Puff, wait, it’s
us, SpongeBob and Patrick! 

Mrs. Puff: That’s funny. For a second, I thought that yellow rock talked to me. And its voice sounded a lot like... 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob. It’s me, SpongeBob. (Mrs. Puff screams as she throws the pickaxe behind her) We’re gonna bust you out
of here. C’mon, Mrs. Puff! (Mrs. Puff starts shaking) 

Mrs. Puff: It’s you. What are you doing here? Why did you follow me in here? Why?! (one of the guards walks up, with Mrs.
Puff’s pickaxe in his head) 

Guard #1: Alright, Mrs. Puff, it seems like this heat’s gone to your head. If you’re gonna talk to rocks, I guess it’s time for you to go on kitchen duty. 

Mrs. Puff: Yes, it must be the heat. Yes. (walks off) 

SpongeBob: Darn it! Ok, Patrick, let’s get out of here. (a woman prisoner walks over) No, wait! (she smashes the two rocks
into pieces) There goes our deposit on these costumes. (scene cuts to lunchtime where Mrs. Puff is serving chili to the
prisoners. A woman, with a deep voice, walks up to Mrs. Puff) 

Donna: Hey there, Puff mama. What’s today’s grub? 

Mrs. Puff: Hi, Donna. It’s chili, same as always. Let me get you some. (scoops up SpongeBob’s nose) 

SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, it’s me, SpongeBob! 

Mrs. Puff: When are these horrific hallucinations going to end? (SpongeBob gets out of the chili) 

SpongeBob: No, it’s really me! (pulls Patrick up out of the chili) I brought Patrick along too. 

Patrick: Hi. 

Mrs. Puff: Why? 

SpongeBob: 'Cause we’re gonna set you free! 

Mrs. Puff: No, I mean, why’d you bring him? (Patrick eats some chili) 

SpongeBob: He likes chili. Now quick, get in before someone sees. (makes a rectangle-shaped entrance in the chili) 

Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I am not going with you. 

SpongeBob: (laughs) That’s a good one, Mrs. Puff. Now hop in. Come on! 

Patrick: SpongeBob, I think she means it. 

SpongeBob: Oh, that’s crazy, Patrick. 

Mrs. Puff: He’s right, SpongeBob. I’m staying. 

SpongeBob: But why? 

Mrs. Puff: I like it here. These are my people! (cut to a shot of some angry, gruff looking woman prisoners) And besides, if I’m in here, that means I won’t have to deal with yooou... (she sees SpongeBob look extremely sad) ...uranium in the water
supply. (she whips out a glass of water) See? Crystal clear! (she drinks it) 

SpongeBob: Excuse us just one second, Mrs. Puff. (to Patrick) Patrick, she has lost it! She’s completely institutionalized. She’s forgotten what it’s like to live in the outside world. To not be in prison. (scene cuts to a man in traffic then at his desk at work then staring out his bedroom window) 

Woman: Coming to bed, honey? 

Man: Yes, dear. (scene cuts back to SpongeBob and Patrick) 

SpongeBob: We’ve got to remind her that there is a life other than this. Mrs. Puff, if you come with us, I’ll stay after school and decorate the whole classroom. 

Mrs. Puff: For the last time, no! (SpongeBob and Patrick disappear inside the chili as a guard walks up) I’m not going with you and that’s final! (notices the guard) Oh. (laughs nervously) 

Guard #1: Talking to inanimate objects again, huh, Puff? Get back to your cell. No more kitchen time for you. (Mrs. Puff walks off. SpongeBob and Patrick watch her. Scene cuts to Mrs. Puff burning coal into wire hangers until SpongeBob and Patrick come down the conveyor belt) 

SpongeBob: Quick, Mrs. Puff, hop on! 

Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come quick. (The guards run over to her.) There’s a crazed ex-student of mine and his overweight friend here to break me out!

Guard #1: That’s just raw material used to make coat hangers. You need some rest. (Grunts as he pushes the level down, filling the room with steam. Scene cuts to Mrs. Puff brushing her teeth. SpongeBob and Patrick come up from the toilet) 

SpongeBob: Psst! (Mrs. Puff screams) Hop in, Mrs. Puff. 

Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come look! (guard runs over and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in the toilet then flushes it) 

Guard #1: Whoa. They don’t pay me enough to do this job. (scene cuts to Mrs. Puff in her bed. SpongeBob and Patrick peek
from the top bunk) 

SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, up here. 

Mrs. Puff: Guards, guards! They’re back! (two guards walk up) 

Guard #1: What’s all the hubbub, Puff? 

Mrs. Puff: They’re back! (guards remove their heads showing them as SpongeBob and Patrick) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Mrs. Puff, it’s us! (both wink and give her a thumbs up) 

Mrs. Puff: No! (screams as the real two guards run up) 

Guard #1: What the barnacle is going on? 

Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! Get away! 

Guard #1: What are you talking about, Puff? 

Mrs. Puff: You can’t fool me! You’re SpongeBob and that guy who likes the chili. (rips off the guards' faces leaving their skulls shown) 

Guard #1: Let’s face it, Puff, you’ve gone off the deep end. (scene cuts to the guards throwing Mrs. Puff, who is in a straight jacket, in a small square room) 

Guard #2: Get in there, you! You need a nice long stay in solitary confinement! (slams the door, which makes a squeaking sound) 

Mrs. Puff: Oh well. Let’s look at the positives again. I’m finally away from those two. Yes. All alone in my nice, soft room. 

SpongeBob: Made of sponge. (laughs. The room is made of yellow sponge as SpongeBob’s face appears on all sides of the wall. Mrs. Puff screams as the scene goes back to SpongeBob driving in mid-air with the police behind them. The boat crashes into the truck full of punch, knocking it over, and spilling again) 

Officer Malley: Freeze! Your joyride’s over, punk. (police officers walk over) 

Mrs. Puff: No! What? (policemen grab SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: No! What are you doing? Help! Help! No, no, please! I have a snail to feed! I can't go to jail now! This is not a good time! No, please, please! I'm not a criminal! (They throw him into the back of the police car then drive off) 

Mrs. Puff: I can’t believe it. It was all a dream. I’m not going to jail! 

Officer Malley: Why would you go to jail? You already did your time. (zoom out to reveal Mrs. Puff wearing prison striped clothes with a ball chained to her ankle. She screams as the scene goes back to her screaming while the boat is in mid-air)
 

Mrs. Puff: Oh, it’s just my imagination again. (zooms over to show Donna driving the boat) 

Donna: So what’s for dinner tonight, Puff Mama? Chili? (Mrs. Puff screams again as the scene goes back to SpongeBob driving in mid-air) 

Mrs. Puff: Huh? What? Huh? Ah, forget it.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Doing Time

2009-02-18T15:15:26Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Snowball Effect|Snowball Effect]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Doing Time]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Mayor Of Bikini Bottom]]
*[[Bikini Bottom Police Force]]
*Prisoners

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is in his driving test again and destroying stuff, as usual) 

Mrs. Puff: The driving test is over, SpongeBob. Stop the boat! 

SpongeBob: Wait, I can do this, Mrs. Puff, I can do this! 

Mrs. Puff: The road, SpongeBob, get back on the road! 

SpongeBob: Gotta pass the test! Gotta pass! (Mrs. Puff is screaming as the boat goes through a cart of watermelons) 

Vendor: Hey! What’ve you got against the melons? 

Mrs. Puff: Look out! 

SpongeBob: (has a watermelon on his face) This must be the night driving part of the test. (scene cuts to two police
officers using their nightsticks on a parking meter) 

Officer Nancy: We’re gonna straighten you out! 

Officer Malley: This’ll fix ya! (They keep grunting as they hit the meter until it's straight) Now let’s get that one. (points his nightstick at another crooked parking meter. SpongeBob & Mrs. Puff drive by through a building.) 

Officer Nancy: Barnacles, did you see that? 

Officer Malley: Yeah! That guy had no front license plate! Let's get him. (SpongeBob looks back at the numerous police cars chasing behind him) 

SpongeBob: Hey, look at all those police! I wonder if the president’s in town. 

Mrs. Puff: Look out! (The mayor is cutting a ribbon at the end of a bridge that is not finished) 

Mayor: It is with great pride that I officially open this unfinished bridge! (SpongeBob drives through the ribbon before he cuts it. The crowd of people that are gathering around the mayor take pictures. SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff do not make it on the other side of the bridge so they fall to the bottom) 

Mrs. Puff: Where did I go wrong? (flashback to Mrs. Puff’s first day of boating school) With the opening of my new boating school, I pledge that as long as a student is willing to learn, I shall never give up. (SpongeBob walks up to her) 

SpongeBob: Hi, I’m SpongeBob SquarePants. (scene cuts back to Mrs. Puff, who is still screaming. Scene then shows a retirement home where a fish in a white coat is yelling at a truck) 

Fish: Hurry up with the truckload of fruit punch! The seniors are getting cranky! (fish looks up and notices SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff crashing into the truck) 

Mrs. Puff: Alive! I’m alive! Oh, thank Neptune, I’m still... (a squad car smashes down on the boat mobile. The other squad cars fall on and around the truck. The truck falls over on its side as all the fruit punch comes pouring out) 

Feminine Tom: (inside the retirement home) Alright, seniors, let’s open these windows so the world can see your nice white clothes. (when the window is opened, the fruit punch pours in. Scene cuts to Fred, who is mopping the hallway and listening to "Surfin' U.S.A." by the Beach Boys on his headphones. The fruit punch pours in then drains where Fred is still mopping. Scene cut to an elderly fish guy, who is writing on some paper) 

Elderly Fish: Oh, it’s finally finished! A memoir of my life written in red ink. (red punch comes flowing in, making his
memoir papers in red) Aww, barnacles. (scene cuts back to outside where all the mess is) 

Mrs. Puff: Ow. SpongeBob, are you okay? 

SpongeBob: That depends, did I pass?! 

Officer Nancy: Freeze, you’re under arrest! 

Mrs. Puff: Hold it, you can’t arrest him! He’s just a student driver! 

Officer Nancy: We’re not talking about him. (scene cuts to Mrs. Puff wearing a prison uniform, being locked up in jail) 

Mrs. Puff: But I don’t belong here! It’s all a big mistake! (this triggers some other woman prisoners to complain about
their not belonging here too. Puff walks over and sits down on the bed) Ok, you can do this, Puff. You can get through this without losing your sanity. Oh, that’s a road we don’t want to go down again. Positives. Think of the positives. Let’s see...I’ve got no more papers to grade. Yeah! (laughs then jumps to the floor) In fact, no more work. No more boating school classes. No more driving, no more SpongeBob...no more phone solicitors, no more SpongeBob, no more company perplex, no more SpongeBob... (gets into bed) ...no more road rage, no more SpongeBob, no more insurance payments, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob! (sighs) I think I’m gonna like this place. (scene cuts to her boating school) 

SpongeBob: Class just isn’t the same without Mrs. Puff. Just the thought of her alone and afraid in jail makes me think
about her being alone and afraid in jail. I don’t know how she’s going to survive. (scene cuts to Mrs Puff doing a bunch of chores. Scene goes back to SpongeBob) Oh, that poor woman. And it’s all my fault. Maybe if I go talk to Patrick, he can ease my guilt. (scene cuts to outisde Patrick's rock) 

Patrick: Well it sounds like it’s all your fault. 

SpongeBob: Oh, you’re right! Mrs. Puff’s in jail and it’s all because of me! I’m such a barnacle head! (Patrick takes one of his dots and puts it in place of his nose) Poor Mrs. Puff. I know, I gotta get her out! But to get her out of jail, first we gotta get ''in'' jail. 

Patrick: How are we gonna do that? (scene cuts to the First Nautical Bank) 

SpongeBob: Alright, put the money in the bag! (SpongeBob is in the bank, wearing a sock over his head, with a bag facing
the wrong way) Put it in! 

Bank Teller: Umm, you’re facing the wrong way, sir. 

SpongeBob: (laughs then turns around) Alright, give me the money! 

Bank Teller: Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir? 

SpongeBob: Uhh, savings. 

Bank Teller: May I please see some identification? 

SpongeBob: Sure. (takes out a card and gives it to the bank teller) Here ya go. 

Bank Teller: Thank you. (SpongeBob’s Jellyfishers Club Membership card is shown. SpongeBob lifts up the sock on his head
and gives Patrick a thumbs up) Sir, we are seeing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts. 

SpongeBob: Oh. 

Bank Teller: Next! (SpongeBob and Patrick walk out of the bank) 

SpongeBob: Well, that went better than expected. 

Patrick: Yeah! I didn’t think we’d get Mrs. Puff out of jail this fast! (SpongeBob’s eyes rip through the sock. Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick disguised as yellow and pink rocks) 

SpongeBob: Don’t worry, Patrick, we’ll get into jail this time. (a truck full of rocks drives up) 

Fish: Hey, there’s a couple. (gets out and throws the two rocks in the truck) 

Guard: Put your back in it, girls! (women prisoners are crushing rocks outside. The truck arrives and unloads more rocks)
 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, there she is! (both jump over to Mrs. Puff where she is about to hit them) Mrs. Puff, wait, it’s
us, SpongeBob and Patrick! 

Mrs. Puff: That’s funny. For a second, I thought that yellow rock talked to me. And its voice sounded a lot like... 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob. It’s me, SpongeBob. (Mrs. Puff screams as she throws the pickaxe behind her) We’re gonna bust you out
of here. C’mon, Mrs. Puff! (Mrs. Puff starts shaking) 

Mrs. Puff: It’s you. What are you doing here? Why did you follow me in here? Why?! (one of the guards walks up, with Mrs.
Puff’s pickaxe in his head) 

Guard #1: Alright, Mrs. Puff, it seems like this heat’s gone to your head. If you’re gonna talk to rocks, I guess it’s time for you to go on kitchen duty. 

Mrs. Puff: Yes, it must be the heat. Yes. (walks off) 

SpongeBob: Darn it! Ok, Patrick, let’s get out of here. (a woman prisoner walks over) No, wait! (she smashes the two rocks
into pieces) There goes our deposit on these costumes. (scene cuts to lunchtime where Mrs. Puff is serving chili to the
prisoners. A woman, with a deep voice, walks up to Mrs. Puff) 

Donna: Hey there, Puff mama. What’s today’s grub? 

Mrs. Puff: Hi, Donna. It’s chili, same as always. Let me get you some. (scoops up SpongeBob’s nose) 

SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, it’s me, SpongeBob! 

Mrs. Puff: When are these horrific hallucinations going to end? (SpongeBob gets out of the chili) 

SpongeBob: No, it’s really me! (pulls Patrick up out of the chili) I brought Patrick along too. 

Patrick: Hi. 

Mrs. Puff: Why? 

SpongeBob: 'Cause we’re gonna set you free! 

Mrs. Puff: No, I mean, why’d you bring him? (Patrick eats some chili) 

SpongeBob: He likes chili. Now quick, get in before someone sees. (makes a rectangle-shaped entrance in the chili) 

Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I am not going with you. 

SpongeBob: (laughs) That’s a good one, Mrs. Puff. Now hop in. Come on! 

Patrick: SpongeBob, I think she means it. 

SpongeBob: Oh, that’s crazy, Patrick. 

Mrs. Puff: He’s right, SpongeBob. I’m staying. 

SpongeBob: But why? 

Mrs. Puff: I like it here. These are my people! (cut to a shot of some angry, gruff looking woman prisoners) And besides, if I’m in here, that means I won’t have to deal with yooou... (she sees SpongeBob look extremely sad) ...uranium in the water
supply. (she whips out a glass of water) See? Crystal clear! (she drinks it) 

SpongeBob: Excuse us just one second, Mrs. Puff. (to Patrick) Patrick, she has lost it! She’s completely institutionalized. She’s forgotten what it’s like to live in the outside world. To not be in prison. (scene cuts to a man in traffic then at his desk at work then staring out his bedroom window) 

Woman: Coming to bed, honey? 

Man: Yes, dear. (scene cuts back to SpongeBob and Patrick) 

SpongeBob: We’ve got to remind her that there is a life other than this. Mrs. Puff, if you come with us, I’ll stay after school and decorate the whole classroom. 

Mrs. Puff: For the last time, no! (SpongeBob and Patrick disappear inside the chili as a guard walks up) I’m not going with you and that’s final! (notices the guard) Oh. (laughs nervously) 

Guard #1: Talking to inanimate objects again, huh, Puff? Get back to your cell. No more kitchen time for you. (Mrs. Puff walks off. SpongeBob and Patrick watch her. Scene cuts to Mrs. Puff burning coal into wire hangers until SpongeBob and Patrick come down the conveyor belt) 

SpongeBob: Quick, Mrs. Puff, hop on! 

Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come quick. (The guards run over to her.) There’s a crazed ex-student of mine and his overweight friend here to break me out!

Guard #1: That’s just raw material used to make coat hangers. You need some rest. (Grunts as he pushes the level down, filling the room with steam. Scene cuts to Mrs. Puff brushing her teeth. SpongeBob and Patrick come up from the toilet) 

SpongeBob: Psst! (Mrs. Puff screams) Hop in, Mrs. Puff. 

Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come look! (guard runs over and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in the toilet then flushes it) 

Guard #1: Whoa. They don’t pay me enough to do this job. (scene cuts to Mrs. Puff in her bed. SpongeBob and Patrick peek
from the top bunk) 

SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, up here. 

Mrs. Puff: Guards, guards! They’re back! (two guards walk up) 

Guard #1: What’s all the hubbub, Puff? 

Mrs. Puff: They’re back! (guards remove their heads showing them as SpongeBob and Patrick) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Mrs. Puff, it’s us! (both wink and give her a thumbs up) 

Mrs. Puff: No! (screams as the real two guards run up) 

Guard #1: What the barnacle is going on? 

Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! Get away! 

Guard #1: What are you talking about, Puff? 

Mrs. Puff: You can’t fool me! You’re SpongeBob and that guy who likes the chili. (rips off the guards' faces leaving their skulls shown) 

Guard #1: Let’s face it, Puff, you’ve gone off the deep end. (scene cuts to the guards throwing Mrs. Puff, who is in a straight jacket, in a small square room) 

Guard #2: Get in there, you! You need a nice long stay in solitary confinement! (slams the door, which makes a squeaking sound) 

Mrs. Puff: Oh well. Let’s look at the positives again. I’m finally away from those two. Yes. All alone in my nice, soft room. 

SpongeBob: Made of sponge. (laughs. The room is made of yellow sponge as SpongeBob’s face appears on all sides of the wall. Mrs. Puff screams as the scene goes back to SpongeBob driving in mid-air with the police behind them. The boat crashes into the truck full of punch, knocking it over, and spilling again) 

Officer Malley: Freeze! Your joyride’s over, punk. (police officers walk over) 

Mrs. Puff: No! What? (policemen grab SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: No! What are you doing? Help! Help! No, no, please! I have a snail to feed! I can't go to jail now! This is not a good time! No, please, please! I'm not a criminal! (They throw him into the back of the police car then drive off) 

Mrs. Puff: I can’t believe it. It was all a dream. I’m not going to jail! 

Officer Malley: Why would you go to jail? You already did your time. (zoom out to reveal Mrs. Puff wearing prison striped clothes with a ball chained to her ankle. She screams as the scene goes back to her screaming while the boat is in mid-air)
 

Mrs. Puff: Oh, it’s just my imagination again. (zooms over to show Donna driving the boat) 

Donna: So what’s for dinner tonight, Puff Mama? Chili? (Mrs. Puff screams again as the scene goes back to SpongeBob driving in mid-air) 

Mrs. Puff: Huh? What? Huh? Ah, forget it.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV (Episode)

2009-02-18T15:11:33Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:299px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[ Image:Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV.jpg|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 45a
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 21.1.2002
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 3
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Idiot Box]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Doing Time]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV"''' is an episode from Season 3

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*Other Citizens of [[Bikini Bottom]]

===Places===
*[[Krusty Krab]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]]

==Plot==
One day Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy decide to eat at the Krusty Krab. Mermaid Man does not have any money to pay for the food they order. Barnacle Boy asked Squidward for any discount and Squidward got mad at him. Barnacle Boy then paid the money they owe for the food. Squidward got angry and said: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in a negative way. SpongeBob over heard Squidward and tried to find a pen and a paper to get their autograph. Mean while Mermaid Man demonstrates Barnacle Boy how to be big and strong. He removes his belt and his huge stomach was revealed. SpongeBob then ran towards Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. They saw SpongeBob coming and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy left. Mermaid Man forgot his belt and SpongeBob tries to return it. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy try to find the invisible boat mobile and went home. SpongeBob unfortunately did not return the belt and he decided to wear it. SpongeBob went back to the kitchen and wonders what does the M button do.

SpongeBob pushed the button and the pickles shrunken. SpongeBob had an idea and shrunk the whole kitchen. Squidward then saw the kitchen shrunk and spots the belt. He then ask SpongeBob what is that and Squidward found out it was Mermaid Man's belt. Squidward then quotes: I can't believe he lend it to you. SpongeBob said he could not believe it either. Squidward then accuse SpongeBob he stole the belt. Squidward tells SpongeBob he will call Mermaid Man about the belt. SpongeBob was scared and does not want him to find out. SpongeBob shrunk Squidward. Squidward was then very angry and told SpongeBob to unshrink him. SpongeBob unfortunately cannot unshrink him. SpongeBob then asked Patrick for help. Patrick answered SpongeBob and said the belt is set to M for mini while it should be set to W for "wumbo". SpongeBob says wumbo is not a real word. Patrick then said wumbo is first grade and said more stuff about wumbo like wumbology and the study of wumbo. SpongeBob then set it into W then he accidentally shrunk Patrick too. SpongeBob then put then in a jar to keep them safe. People then greets SpongeBob and SpongeBob shrunk every people who greets him. SpongeBob then shrunk everybody in Bikini Bottom including Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. The people asked how to unshrink them. Mermaid Man answered SpongeBob if he set is to wumbo. Everybody got mad at him and got inside of SpongeBob. They are destroying the insides of SpongeBob. Everybody then shouted: "Everything is too big!". SpongeBob got an idea and shrank Bikini Bottom and then he shrunk himself. Everything is now back to normal then Plankton came and he is now bigger than the city of Bikini Bottom.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*SpongeBob turns the "M" on [[Mermaid Man's Belt]] upside down to "W" to set it to "Wumbo" to re-size Squidward. A few moments later in the same scene, it is an "M" again, without him ever touching it.
*[[The Invisible Boat Mobile]]'s color is pink Cadillac when visible. However, when SpongeBob and Patrick paint half of the boat mobile, or when they run it into a streetlight, it appears to be shaped like a boat..
*When SpongeBob shrinks himself, Mermaid Man's belt disappears.
*SpongeBob cannot get the citizens of Bikini Bottom to grow back to normal, but in "[[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]]" SpongeBob mentions a ray that made stuff grow 6 times their original size. It is possible that SpongeBob does not know where this ray is.
*When SpongeBob is shrinking people as soon as he greet him, there is a fish who greets him "What's up, Sponge?". This is a parody of a Warner Brothers iconic cartoon character Bugs Bunny quote "What's up, doc?"
*[[Mermaid Man|Mermaid Man's]] belt differs in color from other episodes.
* When Patrick realizes that it is not a toy, but the real Squidward, he says "Oh... AND THEN HERE COMES A GIANT FIST!", which is another hint that Patrick is not fond of Squidward. (He was still going to punch him even though he now realizes it is the actual Squidward)
*When the citizens of Bikini Bottom attack SpongeBob in this episode, he had a backbone but SpongeBob is an invertebrate as admitted in "[[Squirrel Jokes]]."
*After Squidward said something in the Krusty Krab about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Spongebob comes through the wall in 3-D format.
*If SpongeBob didn't want Mermaid Man to see him with the belt, why did he shrink him?
*This marks the only time that Mrs. SquarePants is seen without her husband, Mr. SquarePants.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV]]

==Video==
*[http://watchspongebobonline.com/spongebob-squarepants-season-3-episode-1/ Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV Video]

{{MM&BB}}
{{Season3}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 3]]
[[Category:Mermaidman & Barnacleboy]]

Episode Transcript: 20,000 Patties Under the Sea

2009-02-15T14:16:00Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Pest of the West|Pest of the West]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Battle of Bikini Bottom|The Battle of Bikini Bottom]]
|}

Episode Article: [[20,000 Patties Under the Sea]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Sea Monster]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward]]
*Plankton's customers
*Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick's customers
*[[Jack M. Crazyfish]]

==Dialogue==
(in Jellyfish Fields)

SpongeBob: Breaker, breaker auto perimeter clear. Over.

Patrick: Robert, Robert...uhh...Ronald.

SpongeBob: Are you sure your not trying to say Roger?

Patrick: Oh, wait I got it. Ringo...

SpongeBob: Patrick, we have visual contact. It's now taking evasive action. Subject still in close proximity. Over.

Patrick: Hello?

SpongeBob: Please reply.

Patrick: I wonder if I can order pizza with these things.

SpongeBob: Contact open. Respond now. Please. Please!

Patrick: SpongeBob, you're going to need to speak up. My eardrums aren't what they used to be.

SpongeBob: But I can't speak up Patrick, there's a jellyfish here and I'm afraid it might sting me if we... (SpongeBob bumps Patrick and he screams)...raise our voices. Is he still after us, Patrick?

Patrick: I don't know, buddy.

SpongeBob: Should we turn around and check?

Patrick: Ok. (they trip over something)

SpongeBob: I think I landed on my pain center.

Patrick: I think I landed on a rock.

SpongeBob: Patrick, look! There's a weird thing sticking out of the ground over there.

Patrick: That's just Squidward sunbathing again. (Squidward lowers down his sunglasses)

SpongeBob: No, not that, Patrick. This!

Patrick: What is it?

SpongeBob: I don't know. But I think something's buried underneath it. And I'm gonna go get some shovels so we can dig it up.

Patrick: We?

(cut to large piles of dirt)

SpongeBob: Nothing like a little manual labor to put some hair on your chest, right, Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah, I'll say. (his entire chest is covered with hair)

SpongeBob: Let's see what we did unearth! A UFO! (look inside) Go on, you first. (Patrick climbs down a ladder) Kinda dark.

Patrick: Yeah, dark.

SpongeBob: There has to be a light switch around here somewhere. Found it. Excuse me, sir. (pulls off a skeleton and proceeds to start the submarine) Hey, Patrick, look! We're moving! Here's the steering wheel!

Patrick: Hold it, SpongeBob. You better let me drive.

SpongeBob: Gimme the wheel!

Patrick: No! I wanna drive! (the submarine goes crazy)

(scene cuts to the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: I don't understand. Where are all the customers? I know the Krusty Krab isn't Bikini Bottom's most prostegious eatery, but at least it's better than that salty old Chum Bucket across the street. And that's our only competiton.

Squidward: Do I get paid extra for this conversation?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, come on, Squidward. Can't you pretend to listen for just once in your life? Do it for old Mr. Krabs.

Squidward: Well, since you can't bring any customers to the Krusty Krab, have you ever thought about bringing the Krusty Krab to the customers?

Mr. Krabs: Quiet, Squidward, I'm brainstorming! Ooh, ooh! What if instead of bringing customers to the Krusty Krab, we could bring the Krusty Krab to the customers?

Squidward: La la la la la la la la la la.

Mr. Krabs: Yes, of course! But how? (the submarine crashes into the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Can we park here? Hey, Mr. Krabs! Look what Patrick and I found! We're gonna use it to go on a long journey.

Patrick: Or even around the block!

Mr. Krabs: That's it! We'll take the Krusty Krab on the road. (cut to outside) So long, boys. Make me lots of money!

SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward. Bye, Mr. Krabs. (dreamily) Bye, Squidward.

Patrick: You said "Bye, Squidward" twice.

SpongeBob: I like Squidward.

Plankton: (looking through a telescope) A traveling restaurant, eh? It's not fair! I had that idea years ago! No matter. If Mr. Krabs wants to play dirty, then Plankton's ready for his turn to take his turn. (laughs and turns the fist from the Chum Bucket building into a flying vehicle)

SpongeBob: Hello!

Con Man: Hello.

SpongeBob: Could I interest you in a Krabby Patty?

Con Man: No thanks.

Patrick: Now what?

SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick. Mr. Krabs said if we don't find customers, not to come back. (to Con Man) Uh, are you sure you don't want to be out first customer.

Con Man: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. (walks away)

SpongeBob: Wait! We'll pay you!

Con Man: Thanks again, guys. Good luck with the restaurant!

SpongeBob: Thanks, sir, come again!

Plankton: Those nincompoops are better salesmen than I expected. (an alarm sets off)

Voice: Customer approaching.

Plankton: Hello, little boy. Would you like a chum burger?

Boy: Does it come in raspberry?

Plankton: No.

Boy: Blueberry?

Plankton: No.

Boy: Uh...raspberry?

Plankton: Come on, kid. You asked me that already. Now quit wasting my time!

Lady Fish: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?

Plankton: I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers.

Man Fish: Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way. What do you think this is?

Plankton: I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty. That's what this is.

Grandma: You can't talk about my grandson like that. Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital.

Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma.

Grandma: You're probably right.

Plankton: You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here. (people start throwing rocks) What the? No! Controls malfunctioning!

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Weren't you supposed to be on kitchen duty? (cut to the kitchen, where the patties are burnt) Oh, no. You burnt all the patties. It's hard as a rock. How are we gonna find someone who would buy these?

Man Fish: Hey, the rocks are all gone.

Crowd: Aww! (Plankton smiles)

SpongeBob: Folks, have I got a deal for you. (the crowd sees the hard patties. they buy them and proceed to hit Plankton with them) Mr. Krabs is gonna be so proud of us when he sees how good we're doing. See any customers, Patrick?

Patrick: No, but I see a sign. It says. "Warning: Ab... eyes?"

SpongeBob: Let me see. (looks through periscope) No, Patrick, that says "Abyss."

Patrick: OK. What's an abyss?

SpongeBob: An abyss is a bottomless...(the submarine falls down the abyss)...chasm! (an alarm goes off) Patrick, we're falling!

Patrick: And now we're being bathed in an eerie red light!

Plankton: (sees it falling) Yes! Yes!

Patrick: And now a deafening warning siren! (SpongeBob imitates the sound. the submarine hits a sludgy item, which turns out to be the head of the Sea Monster)

Sea Monster: (shouts)

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! We've floated back up, out of the deep, dark, depressing, horrible abyss! (looks at the Sea Monster)

Sea Monster: Hey! Who you calling dark and depressing?

SpongeBob: We didn't mean it that way, Mr. Sea Monster, sir! What we really wanna know is... are you hungry?

Sea Monster: Hungry? I've been asleep for 79 years. Which means my last meal was 79 years ago. Yes, I'm hungry.

SpongeBob: Then try one of our Krabby Patties.

Sea Monster: Mmm! That's the best thing I've tasted since that sewer spill...back in '76. I'll take 640 of them.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Woo hoo!

Patrick: Order...uh...up. (the Sea Monster gives them large wads of cash)

Plankton: Now that those two are out of the picture, all of the customers will come running to me. (looks at the Sea Monster paying them) This calls for drastic measures! Okay, you dums, time for the second course; Chum Charges!

Patrick: SpongeBob! Our home's been breached. Do you know what that means?

SpongeBob: No!

Patrick: Neither do I!

Plankton: Yes! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the...(the vehicle crashes into a cavern wall) Ah, who needs the Rust Bucket anyhow.

Sea Monster: Come on in there! I want more sandwiches!

Patrick: (a piece of chum enters) SpongeBob, look!

SpongeBob: What is it?

Patrick: It's a liquid.

SpongeBob: No, it's a solid! It's a solid!

SpongeBob and Patrick: It's a "lol-squid."

Sea Monster: All right, what's going on in there? Hey, that looks like a sandwich to me!

SpongeBob: It's not just a sandwich. It's a...Chumwich.

Sea Monster: (eats it) Mmm! Now that's a sandwich!

(cut to a sequence of SpongeBob making Chumwiches, Patrick collecting the Chum, and the Sea Monster paying them for the chumwiches)

SpongeBob: Anything else before we shove off?

Sea Monster: I want dessert!

SpongeBob: We don't have desserts.

Plankton: (lands from his parachute) Don't give another penny to those fast-food phonies. That's right, they stole my idea. My, my, my, my, my...(falls down and rolls into some mud)

Sea Monster: Hey, a choclate eclair! Now that looks like dessert to me!

Plankton: No! Hey, you've got it all wrong, see...(the Sea Monster chases Plankton)

(cut to the Krusty Krab)

Janitor: (repairing the windows SpongeBob and Patrick broke previously) There you are, Mr. Krabs, good as new.

Squidward: Now all we have to do is keep SpongeBob away from the...(the submarine crashes into the windows)

SpongeBob: We're back, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Tell me all about it. Tell me, tell me!

SpongeBob: You wouldn't believe it, we had so many new customers!

Mr. Krabs: Who cares about the customers? Just tell me about the money.

SpongeBob: There we were at the bottom of the deep, dark, abyss. So we had to let go of something heavy.

Patrick: And paper.

Mr. Krabs: You let go of all the money I earned as ballast?

SpongeBob: (he and Patrick nod their heads) But on the bright side, we did manage to bring back 37,000 pounds of these decorative deep sea rocks!

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: The Paper

2009-02-14T14:28:10Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Ein kleines Stück Papier]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Valentine's Day|Valentine's Day]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Arrgh!|Arrgh!]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Paper]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]

==Dialogue==

'''Squidward:''' (walks out and sits on his lawn chair) Ah, time to relax. (takes out some gum and puts it in his mouth. Throws the gum wrapper away in front of SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob's pineapple moves forward closer to the wrapper and he opens the door)

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Squidward!

'''Squidward:''' (spits out gum) Well, time to go. (folds up the lawn chair and walks to his front door but SpongeBob stops him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward! Squidward, wait!

'''Squidward:''' Now what?

'''SpongeBob:''' You dropped this little piece of paper.

'''Squidward:''' Yeah, so what?

'''SpongeBob:''' I just figured you probably want it back.

'''Squidward:''' What’s the big deal? It’s only garbage?

'''SpongeBob:''' Garbage? But, Squidward, in the right hands, this paper is a gold mine of entertainment. A spectacular afternoon of underwater fun. A treasure trove of...

'''Squidward:''' ...garbage. (walks inside his house)

'''SpongeBob:''' So you don’t want it?

'''Squidward:''' Right! (closes door)

'''SpongeBob:''' Does that mean I can have it?

'''Squidward:''' Yes, by all means, take it. (phone rings. Picks it up) Hello?

'''SpongeBob:''' You sure?

'''Squidward:''' Yes! For the final time, I don’t want that paper. It’s yours forever and ever! (hangs up and sighs. SpongeBob appears from under the table where the phone is. Squidward screams)

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you definitely, positively sure?

'''Squidward:''' Get out!

'''SpongeBob:''' But are you...

'''Squidward:''' GEEEEEEEEEEET OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!! (gets SpongeBob out)

'''SpongeBob:''' Last chance to change your mind, Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' Take it, SpongeBob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don’t give that paper back to me...ever!

'''SpongeBob:''' So, I take that as a possible no? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? (Squidward closes the door) Ok, Squidward, that’s a promise I’ll just have to keep. Ah, Mr Paper, I am so lucky to have a friend like Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' (walking up to his clarinet) SpongeBob... (SpongeBob is laughing outside. Squidward tries to play his clarinet but Squidward gets annoyed by SpongeBob's laughter so he peeks out the window) What in the world are you giggling about?

'''SpongeBob:''' I’m sorry, Squidward, it’s just... (giggles) ...it’s just that I’m thinking of all the fun I’m going to have with this piece of paper! (Squidward walks back and picks up his clarinet)

'''Squidward:''' How can anyone have fun with just a piece of paper? (Squidward plays his clarinet but has to stop due to SpongeBob's laughter continuing) Ohh...what can he possibly be doing with that paper?! (peeks out his window and SpongeBob is running around with the piece of paper high, above his head)

'''SpongeBob:''' La, la, la, la, la. Gary, watch this! (twists his lower part of his body around and puts the piece of paper in it so it hangs out. Turns his lower body around) Guess what I am.

'''Gary:''' Meow.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, yes, Gary, I am a sponge with paper stuck in his pants, but I’m also... (deep voice) Super Sponge: soaking up crime. See, here’s my cape. (blows on the piece of paper to make it look like a cape in the wind)

'''Squidward:''' Super-moron’s more like it.

'''SpongeBob:''' Now I’m... (jumps into the air and stands on his pineapple with no clothes on but the piece of paper in the middle of lower half of his body) SpongeBob Junglepants! (does Tarzan impression)

'''Squidward:''' Oh, boy.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ugh. SpongeBob Junglepants summon animal friends. (he roars like a lion, makes bird calls, makes a raspberry, makes horn noises, dolphin noises and seal noises)

'''Gary:''' Meow.

'''SpongeBob:''' You’re right Gary. I’m not a jungle boy. I’m a box of army supplies. (jumps off his pineapple with his clothes on) Bringing relief to the hungry troops! (has the paper act as a parachute and floats down to the ground. We see Squidward watching from a safe distance) Landing just in time for the bullfight! (he waves the paper in front of Gary) Toro, toro, Gary! Toro, toro! Toro, Gary, toro... (pushes Gary across with his foot) Hey, ole! Now for some impressions. A guy with a moustache. (pust the piece of paper where a mustache would be) Look at me, I’m a guy with a moustache. A pirate with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I’m a pirate. A regular guy with an eye patch. (puts the paper over one eye) Arrgh, I am not a pirate.

'''Squidward:''' Do a big yellow idiot with a stupid piece of paper. (SpongeBob is rolling the piece of paper on the top of his head. Then he sucks in the paper through one of his holes. Blows it in and out of his holes) How did he do that?

'''SpongeBob:''' Look, Gary, oralgami. (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out with a bird shape for the paper)

'''Kids:''' Bird! Yay! (SpongeBob does it again and comes out as a snowflake) Snowflake, yay! (SpongeBob does it again and comes out as a doll) Paper doll, yay!

'''Squidward:''' Hey, that little paper does seem like fun. (puts his hand over his mouth) What am I saying?! I am such an idiot. (laughs) SpongeBob, honestly, and his dumb paper. He calls that fun? (opens up a magazine and starts reading it) Now, reading ‘Boring Science Digest,’ that’s fun. (laughs at what the magazine says inside) Erosion. (laughs) Mitosis. (SpongeBob laughs. Later, Squidward is bathing) See, I can have fun taking a bath. (the paper comes flying through the window as an airplane and flies around Squidward a couple times. Then shoots the rubber duck and flies back out the window. The rubber duck sinks under the water. Later, Squidward is painting) Painting fruit, there’s nothing more fun than painting fruit. This is more fun than anything. (SpongeBob is laughing outside. Squidward paints but he paints himself with the piece of paper over his nose. When he notices this, he tears up his painting) I'll prove to him that paper is not fun! (runs outside and whistles while playing paddleball) I’m having fun, la-la-la...

'''SpongeBob:''' (bouncing the piece of paper off his nose like it was a paddleball) Isn’t this great? La-la-la-la-la... (SpongeBob jumps up and down) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

'''Squidward:''' Hey, SpongeBob, top this one. (takes out a centriloquist doll that looks exactly like him) Hey, little Squidward, what’s gray and ugly and has six arms?

'''Little Squidward:''' I don’t know, but have you looked in the mirror lately?

'''Squidward:''' What did you... (SpongeBob laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, that’s a good one, Squidward, now let me try. (folds the paper in half) Have you heard any good jokes, Mr Paper?

'''Paper:''' What happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know, what happened to the paper that fell in the ocean?

'''Paper:''' It was all washed up! (a bunch of people come up and laugh with SpongeBob then leave. Squidward runs off)

'''SpongeBob:''' La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

'''Squidward:''' (riding a shell mobile) Haha, I’m having so much fun with my new shell-cart. Ah-haha. Hey, SpongeBob, can your stupid paper do this? (SpongeBob comes down with the paper acting as a helicopter)

'''SpongeBob:''' Nope. (flies away while Squidward drives his shell-cart through the side of his house. Then he comes uot with his clarinet)

'''Squidward:''' Well, you can’t play music with a piece of paper! (plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet)

'''SpongeBob:''' (applauding) Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward. All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

'''Squidward:''' What? I didn’t play any wrong notes. (plays the song off-key again)

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, see, you’re playing it like this... (plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out) ...when ordinarily it goes like this... (plays the song on-key) I’m partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. (plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears) Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

Squidward:''' (grabs the paper but SpongeBob holds onto it) Give me my paper back! Now let go of it. I said let go of it! (SpongeBob still holding on to it) Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go... (jumps up and down)

'''SpongeBob: I can’t!

'''Squidward:''' What do you mean you can’t? (SpongeBob moves Squidward's hand off the piece of paper)

'''SpongeBob:''' I can’t! You made me promise no matter how much you begged, and pleaded, and cried not to give the paper back to you ever.

'''Squidward:''' I never said anything like that!

'''SpongeBob:''' Sure you did, Squidward, look. (folds the paper a few times to make it look like a flip-book to what Squidward said earlier in the day)

'''Squidward:''' Take it, SpongeBob. Take it, please. And promise me, no matter how much I may beg and plead and cry, don’t give that paper back to me… ever!

'''SpongeBob:''' Wanna see it again?

'''Squidward:''' No, I don’t wanna see it again! Just give me that paper.

'''SpongeBob:''' Sorry, Squidward, I am sworn to a promise. (walks off) Maybe I should get going.

'''Squidward:''' Wait, wait, maybe we can trade for something. (looks around for something to trade) Yeah-yeah, something, something... (reaches in his pocket and takes out something) A-ha, wait up, SpongeBob! Wait! Hold on there, chum. (chuckles) I’m going to make you an offer. (SpongeBob looks to see what he has)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, pocket lint! (shows link and rubberband in Squidward's hand) You drive a hard bargain, Squidward. Paper for lint, hmmm...

'''Squidward:''' Not the lint, the rubber band!

'''SpongeBob:''' The rubber band? Do I dare?

'''Squidward:''' Oh, dare, dare!

'''SpongeBob:''' (begins to reach for it) Ok... (stops) Oh, I get it. You’re just testing me. Don’t worry, Squidward, I won’t let you down. A promise is a promise.

'''Squidward:''' Listen, you! (puts his nose against SpongeBob's nose) You are not going anywhere until we strike a deal. (later, Squidward is bringing a TV over to SpongeBob's side in a wheelbarrow) Gotta get that paper. (walks back to get more)

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward? (keeps walking back and forth with more stuff)

'''Squidward:''' Trade... (walks back)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, listen.... (Squidward brings his house over)

'''Squidward:''' Everything must go! Well, that’s the last of it. (all of Squidward's possessions are beside SpongeBob) I’ve given you everything but the shirt off my back. (SpongeBob looks at the paper)

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Squidward, is this still part of the test? Because it’s...it’s really getting harder and harder to keep my promise.

'''Squidward:''' Ok, the shirt! (takes his short off) Take it! Take my shirt!

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward’s shirt. I’ve always loved that shirt. Ok, ok, I’ll trade! (puts the shirt on) I can break a promise for this. Squidward, do you want your other stuff, cause this is all I’ll need?

'''Squidward:''' You can have all that junk, ‘cause now I’ve got this! I’ve got the paper, and you’ve got my useless garbage. (puts the paper on his butt and waves it at SpongeBob) I got it! Haha and you can’t have it. (runs around SpongeBob) I got it, you’re a sucker. You’re a sucker, sucker. (laughs) At last, what should we try first, Mr Paper? Impressions! A guy with a piece of paper on his nose. (puts the paper on his nose) Look at me! I’m a guy with a piece of paper...on his...nose. Hmmm. A-ha! Wait, wait, wait, wait... (puts the paper in his mouth and sticks his tongue out revealing a wadded up piece of paper that is wet) Tada!

'''Kids:''' Boo! (Squidward dries off the piece of paper)

'''Squidward:''' Ok, ok, uhh, helicopter! (puts the piece of paper on his fingers) Gentlemen, start your engines. I’m flying! Oh yeah, I’m flying! I’m flying! That’s right, that’s right, here we go now. (bends up and down trying to fly) I’m flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying... (sighs) ...flying. (SpongeBob is looking at himself in the mirror with Squidward's shirt still on him while Gary is playing his clarinet) Wait, more impressions. A guy throwing a piece of paper on the ground! (trhwos it on the ground) A guy stomping on the piece of paper (stomps on the paper then picks it up) I’m a guy who traded everything he owns for a...

'''Patrick:''' (walks up to Squidward chewing gum) ...a worthless piece of paper. (Patrick grabs the paper) Hey, thanks, it’s just what I needed, Squidward. (blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can Nice shirt, SpongeBob. (laughs)

'''Squidward:''' Anybody have any sunscreen?

{{Transcripts/Season 1}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

The Paper (Episode)

2009-02-14T14:25:23Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:The Paper.jpg|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | The Paper
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 16b
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 14.2.2000
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 1
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Valentine's Day]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Arrgh!]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"The Paper"''' is an episode from Season 1

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Patrick]]
*Residents of [[Bikini Bottom]]
*Kids

===Places===
*Outside [[SpongeBob's House]]
*[[Squidward's House]]

==Plot==
Squidward throws a bubble gum wrapper on SpongeBob's lawn. When SpongeBob discovers it, he asks Squidward if he wants it back. However, Squidward tells SpongeBob he can have it. However, SpongeBob now tells him on the Shell Phone, and Squidward has his long and final persuasion to give the paper to SpongeBob "''Take it SpongeBob, yes, take it please, I promise you no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don't give that paper back to me...Ever!''" and SpongeBob agrees to confirm his promise. Squidward is about to play ''Mary Had a Little Lamb'' but SpongeBob is laughing about all the fun he is thinking about that he's going to soon have.

Squidward laughs and enjoys his own time reading ''Boring Science Digest'', taking a bath, and drawing art. While drawing, Squidward accidentally paints himself having fun with a piece of paper. When he breaks it, the Squidward painting's mouth is open and invisibly cries by his death. Squidward watches him have lots and lots of fun until the ''Mary Had A Little Lamb'' duet.

Squidward tries to get it back but SpongeBob keeps his promise. Squidward trades in everything back, and finally his own shirt-cloth and SpongeBob cannot help and it decides to break his promise. Squidward tries to have fun with the paper but cannot, he traded everything for the worthless piece of paper for nothing and soon Patrick took the paper from Squidward and uses it to put his gum on it and Patrick comes over to SpongeBob to play.

Squidward is now all alone and the season is beginning to become winter. Then Squidward says, ''"Anybody have any sunscreen?"''

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This episode is hardly ever seen on TV because it is paired up with a holiday episode.
*Clips of this episode were seen on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Nov. 25th, 2006.
*Little Squidward is a reference to another character in another SpongeBob episode, [[Mini Squidward]] in the episode: [[Squid Wood]]
*This is the first time Gary plays Squidward's [[clarinet]].
*Little Squidward is similar to the toy acting in Toy Story.
*Little Squidward is the older brother of [[Mini Squidward]], and the 2 wooden Squidward toys are enemies of the real Squidward.
*The paper cartoon proof SpongeBob shows is very accurate, even with the same music!
*SpongeBob's monkey face impression while standing on his pineapple home is a possible parody of King Kong.
*SpongeBob says he will play A Minor, which means the music sounds sad, but it is in C Major.
*When Squidward is playing his clarinet to SpongeBob, the musical notes fall. This is a possible parody of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" movie when the letters from the book fall.
*This episode possibly broke the fourth wall because SpongeBob had the papers showing Squidward proof of what he just said, meaning he took the papers out of the cartoon.
*In this episode SpongeBob was brilliant at playing on the paper. Yet in [[Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost]] he couldn't play at all. However he could have improved overtime.
*This Is The First Time Squidward Is Naked.
*How could Squidward wheel over his house? Plus, the wheelbarrow would probably be crushed by the weight of it.
*Apparently, SpongeBob likes Squidward's shirt.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: The Paper]]

==Video==
*[http://watchspongebobonline.com/spongebob-squarepants-season-1-episode-16-the-paper/ The Paper Video]

{{Season1}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 1]]

[[de:Ein kleines Stück Papier (Episode)]]

Episode Transcript: Valentine’s Day

2009-02-14T14:21:46Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Suds|Suds]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Paper|The Paper]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Valentine's Day]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Sandy]]

==Dialogue==

'''SpongeBob:''' (opens doors with a bunch of hearts in his arms) Happy Valentine’s Day, Bikini Bottom! (throws hearts everywhere. Hands one to Squidward but he tears it up. Gives one to Mrs. Puff but her boat runs into a fire hydrant. Gives Plankton a tiny heart. SpongeBob leaps over to Sandy’s place)

'''Sandy:''' Happy Valentine's Day, SpongeBob. I'm nuts for you. (gets out an acorn nut with an arrow stuck through it)

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts the acorn away and takes out a bottle of chocolate syrup) Well, I'm bubbles for you, Sandy. (blows a chocolate heart bubble)

'''Sandy:''' (opens a door on her helmet for the chocolate heart to go into. Eats it.) Mmmm, chocolate. Mighty tasty. Patrick's gonna love the one you made for him. (a chocolate balloon is shown and then SpongeBob and Sandy run over and Sandy gets into the basket) Take me through the plan again.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ok. (SpongeBob blows a chocolate carnival) Step one: (manly voice) Patrick and I get to the Valentine's Day carnival. (a chocolate SpongeBob and Patrick fly in and hop onto the carnival) Step two: I position Patrick and myself on top of the Ferris wheel. (both of them hop over to the ferries wheel where it rides up to the top. Blows a chocolate hot air balloon) Step three: You arrive at designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact. (the balloon floats over above the carnival) Step four: Patrick is thrilled. Mission accomplished. (chocolate bursts all over the screen and then we see Patrick putting a big rock on the ground and pounds the rock into the shape of a heart and picks it up) Hi Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' (imagines the heart is talking to him) Hello?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing in there?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Oh my gosh! Sponge...SpongeBob is stuck inside this rock! Ahh! Hold on buddy, I'll get you out! (smashes the rock into a pile of dirt) SpongeBob? SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick...

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob! (cries and rubs the pile of dirt against the side of his face) SpongeBob...!

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, I'm right behind you! (Patrick turns around)

'''Patrick:''' There you are. (holds the pile of dirt in his hands) Happy Valentine's Day! Here's your present.

'''SpongeBob:''' And I have a present for you!

'''Patrick:''' You do?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's the greatest... (Patrick gets excited) ...the bestest... (Patrick gets more excited)...the most fantabulous... (Patrick gets even more excited) ...present ever! (bounces and rolls all around all excited and overjoyed) But you can't have it yet. (Patrick stops rolling and bouncing around)

'''Patrick:''' Huh? Why not?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because it's not ready yet.

'''Patrick:''' Is it ready now?

'''SpongeBob:''' Not yet.

'''Patrick:''' How about now?

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want to ruin the surprise?

'''Patrick:''' Yes!

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Patrick: Oh, come on, please!

'''SpongeBob:''' Hmmm...nope, sorry.

'''Patrick:''' (grabs on to SpongeBob’s legs and feet) You gotta tell me!

'''SpongeBob:''' No can do! (laughs) You'll just have to wait! (SpongeBob walks off with Patrick still hanging on his legs and feet)

'''Patrick:''' Please. Oh please... (still hanging on his legs we see SpongeBob walking through the middle of nowhere) ...please-please-please-please. Tell me-tell me-tell me. Please?!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Patrick, here we are

'''Patrick:''' (gasps as he sees the carnival) You got me a carnival? Mine! All mine, mine, mine, mine. (Patrick runs inside the carnival and SpongeBob runs in behind him) Mine, mine, mine! All right, everybody out! This is my carnival! SpongeBob: It's not the carnival.

'''Patrick:''' Oh.

'''SpongeBob:''' (takes a quarter out of his pocket) Here, why don't you take this quarter and...

'''Patrick:''' (snatches it from SpongeBob) Oh my gosh, a quarter! I've always wanted a quarter!

'''SpongeBob:''' It's not the quarter.

'''Patrick:''' Oh.

'''SpongeBob:''' Now take that quarter and buy some cotton candy...(Patrick interrupts and SpongeBob’s finger deflates)

'''Patrick:''' Cotton candy! I can't believe it! (Patrick chases the cotton candy seller) Cotton candy!

'''Cotton Candy Seller:''' Hey, get away! Hey!

'''Sandy:''' Sandy to SpongeBob. (SpongeBob takes out a walkie-talkie where Sandy’s voice is coming from) Sandy to SpongeBob. Come in SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ten-four Sandy, SpongeBob here. (we see Sandy closing in with the balloon on the carnival)

'''Sandy:''' (floating toward the carnival in the balloon) I got a visual on the carnival. You want me to bring her in?

'''SpongeBob:''' Ohh, not yet, Sandy. Patrick's still trying to guess what his Valentine is.

'''Sandy:''' (chuckles) You are such a kidder, Sandy out. That SpongeBob... (a group of Orange Balloon Destroyer oysters are heading toward the balloon) Scallops...chocolate-eating scallops!

'''Patrick:''' So if it's not cotton candy then what is it? I can't take it!

'''SpongeBob:''' You'll have to guess!

'''Patrick:''' (points at a tent) This tent?

'''SpongeBob:''' No.

'''Patrick:''' (holds up a man in line for something) This guy?

'''SpongeBob:''' No. (we see micro-organisms swimming around; it's Patrick's view through a microscope)

'''Patrick:''' This paramecium?

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Nope.

'''Patrick:''' (giggles) Heh, you're a sly one. I can't find here in the carnival...because it's on top of Mount 'Climb Up and Fall Off'. (runs up the mountain and falls off then runs back to SpongeBob) It wasn't there either!

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you sure? (runs up mountain and falls off again. SpongeBob uses his walkie-talkie to tell Sandy something) SpongeBob to Sandy, you can bring it in now. (Sandy is using a whip to keep scallops away)

'''Sandy:''' Uhh, SpongeBob, we got ourselves a little problem. I got a pack of chocolate-eating scallops trying to rustle the balloon! Hi-yah! Get away, you sweet-toothed varmints! Hi-yah! I'm going to be a little late!

'''SpongeBob:''' Late? But what about... (Patrick still jumping on and off mountain) ...Patrick?

'''Sandy:''' hing-ya! Take him up to the Ferris wheel and I'll meet you there! Sandy out!

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts away the walkie-talkie) If Patrick doesn't get his valentine... (screams)

'''Patrick:''' (suddenly appears from behind, all bruised) I'm pretty sure it's not up there, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob:''' Uhh...Patrick, actually it's on the Ferris...

'''Patrick:''' Ferris wheel! (he grabs Sponge and runs toward it; cut to them on the Ferris wheel being brought to the top) I'm ready for the greatest Valentine's present in the whole world now, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well this is where you're gonna get it...I hope. Just keep looking out there, pal. (SpongeBob talks to Sandy again on the walkie-talkie) SpongeBob to Sandy, SpongeBob to Sandy, come in, Sandy! (Sandy is fighting the chocolate eating scallops.)

'''Sandy:''' Sandy to SpongeBob, I got my ox in a ditch here! I'm way off course! The scallops are eating the balloon! They're everywhere! (one scallop bites the balloon and the air goes out and it floats down) Aw, shoot! We're going down, SpongeBob! Switch to plan B!

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, B, Sandy! No, B! (Patrick is smiling big waiting for his surprise) Uh, Patrick, you know how sometimes you plan something special and things don't just work out?

'''Patrick:''' No...no...eh-gee! Holy mackerel! Is it hot up here or what! (rips off his shirt and moves the ferries wheel seats back and forth and then up and down. Next, the ferries wheel is jumping up and down and then SpongeBob puts out his hand/arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, here it is! (Patrick stares at SpongeBob’s hand/arm)

'''Patrick:''' What's that?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's a handshake...a friendly handshake.

'''Patrick:''' A handshake? That's the big gift? You got me a handshake?

'''SpongeBob:''' A friendly handshake. Happy Valentine's Day! (Patrick shakes his hand and stares it and makes a grumpy looking face. Spongebob laughs and throughout their playtime in the carnival, Patrick has the same grumpy look on his face)

'''Patrick:''' I've been thinking. At first a handshake doesn't looks like much, but really it's the thought that counts… (lady walks up with a box shaped like a heart full of chocolates in her arms)

'''Fran:''' Hey SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you for this box of chocolates.

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, no problem Fran. (walks off)

'''Patrick:''' And even though I was expecting more... (guy with roses walks up)

'''Dave:''' Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day.

'''SpongeBob:''' You too, Dave. (walks off)

'''Patrick:''' And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long... (some woman walks by with a bike)

'''Lady Fish:''' Hey SpongeBob, thanks for the bike! (talking to Patrick) Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning! (Patrick gets mad)

'''Patrick:''' So as I was saying...

'''Fish:''' Excuse me; do you guys have the time?

'''Patrick:''' (Patrick gets mad) Patrick need love, too! (Patrick goes psycho freaky. Cuts the balloon strings from a salesman and destroys his Balloon cart. We see kids playing a guy in a heart suit.)
'''Kids:''' We love heart man...

'''Patrick:'''I defy you, Heart Man! (Patrick rips the suit in half)

'''P.A. System:''' Attention everyone, there's a chubby pink starfish on the loose! (everyone runs screaming. Patrick sees a twirl-around ride that has hearts on it and goes mad over it)

'''Patrick:''' Heart on stick must die! (goes to the pole and tries to pick it up. Gives up eventually. Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop) Heart on stick must die! (grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth)

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick! (Patrick turns around with an evil look on his face and everyone gets scared and runs to a dead-end of one of the carnival sides. Then Patrick goes freaky on them)

'''Patrick:''' Give me SpongeBob! (SpongeBob is thrown in front of the group of citizens) You broke my heart! Now I'm gonna break something of yours!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Patrick, I know I deserve this. (notes the crowd) But, do they?

'''Patrick:''' They didn't get me anything either! (They throw a pile of gifts at Patrick’s feet) Nope, it's too late for that now...for all of you! (walks onto and over the gifts, wanting to destroy everyone, starting with spongebob. the citizens take a step back and SpongeBob is scared)

'''Sandy:''' Yee-haw! Get along little shellfish! Gallop you scallops! (whipping the scallops as she lands in the carnival with the balloon)

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! Sandy's here! Woo-hoo! Look Patrick, it's here! It's here! The best valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you! (jumping up and down pointing behind Patrick)

'''Patrick:''' Sure it is.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm telling you, it's right there, turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Uh-uh.

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, just turn around! (everyone is yelling at Patrick to turn around but he doesn’t)

'''Patrick:''' You think I'm pretty stupid, do you?

'''Crowd:''' Yes! Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' No.

'''Crowd:''' Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Nuh-uh!

'''Crowd:''' (chanting) Turn around! Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Nuh-uh. I'm gonna say this once and I'm not going to say it again, so pay attention. I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around for any reason...ever!

'''Sandy:''' Howdy, Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' (turns around) Hi Sandy! (notices the chocolate balloon then is confused and Speaks gibberish)

'''SpongeBob:''' Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick! (Patrick jumps for joy and jumps on the balloon)

'''Patrick:''' Yay! My valentine! Hey, is this solid chocolate?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, no! (Patrick bites the balloon and chocolate spills everywhere. SpongeBob and Patrick are in The mess)

'''Patrick:''' Aw SpongeBob, you didn't have to get me anything.

{{Transcripts/Season 1}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Valentine’s Day

2009-02-14T14:21:18Z

162.83.227.25: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Valentine's Day]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Sandy]]

==Dialogue==

'''SpongeBob:''' (opens doors with a bunch of hearts in his arms) Happy Valentine’s Day, Bikini Bottom! (throws hearts everywhere. Hands one to Squidward but he tears it up. Gives one to Mrs. Puff but her boat runs into a fire hydrant. Gives Plankton a tiny heart. SpongeBob leaps over to Sandy’s place)

'''Sandy:''' Happy Valentine's Day, SpongeBob. I'm nuts for you. (gets out an acorn nut with an arrow stuck through it)

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts the acorn away and takes out a bottle of chocolate syrup) Well, I'm bubbles for you, Sandy. (blows a chocolate heart bubble)

'''Sandy:''' (opens a door on her helmet for the chocolate heart to go into. Eats it.) Mmmm, chocolate. Mighty tasty. Patrick's gonna love the one you made for him. (a chocolate balloon is shown and then SpongeBob and Sandy run over and Sandy gets into the basket) Take me through the plan again.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ok. (SpongeBob blows a chocolate carnival) Step one: (manly voice) Patrick and I get to the Valentine's Day carnival. (a chocolate SpongeBob and Patrick fly in and hop onto the carnival) Step two: I position Patrick and myself on top of the Ferris wheel. (both of them hop over to the ferries wheel where it rides up to the top. Blows a chocolate hot air balloon) Step three: You arrive at designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact. (the balloon floats over above the carnival) Step four: Patrick is thrilled. Mission accomplished. (chocolate bursts all over the screen and then we see Patrick putting a big rock on the ground and pounds the rock into the shape of a heart and picks it up) Hi Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' (imagines the heart is talking to him) Hello?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing in there?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Oh my gosh! Sponge...SpongeBob is stuck inside this rock! Ahh! Hold on buddy, I'll get you out! (smashes the rock into a pile of dirt) SpongeBob? SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick...

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob! (cries and rubs the pile of dirt against the side of his face) SpongeBob...!

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, I'm right behind you! (Patrick turns around)

'''Patrick:''' There you are. (holds the pile of dirt in his hands) Happy Valentine's Day! Here's your present.

'''SpongeBob:''' And I have a present for you!

'''Patrick:''' You do?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's the greatest... (Patrick gets excited) ...the bestest... (Patrick gets more excited)...the most fantabulous... (Patrick gets even more excited) ...present ever! (bounces and rolls all around all excited and overjoyed) But you can't have it yet. (Patrick stops rolling and bouncing around)

'''Patrick:''' Huh? Why not?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because it's not ready yet.

'''Patrick:''' Is it ready now?

'''SpongeBob:''' Not yet.

'''Patrick:''' How about now?

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want to ruin the surprise?

'''Patrick:''' Yes!

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Patrick: Oh, come on, please!

'''SpongeBob:''' Hmmm...nope, sorry.

'''Patrick:''' (grabs on to SpongeBob’s legs and feet) You gotta tell me!

'''SpongeBob:''' No can do! (laughs) You'll just have to wait! (SpongeBob walks off with Patrick still hanging on his legs and feet)

'''Patrick:''' Please. Oh please... (still hanging on his legs we see SpongeBob walking through the middle of nowhere) ...please-please-please-please. Tell me-tell me-tell me. Please?!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Patrick, here we are

'''Patrick:''' (gasps as he sees the carnival) You got me a carnival? Mine! All mine, mine, mine, mine. (Patrick runs inside the carnival and SpongeBob runs in behind him) Mine, mine, mine! All right, everybody out! This is my carnival! SpongeBob: It's not the carnival.

'''Patrick:''' Oh.

'''SpongeBob:''' (takes a quarter out of his pocket) Here, why don't you take this quarter and...

'''Patrick:''' (snatches it from SpongeBob) Oh my gosh, a quarter! I've always wanted a quarter!

'''SpongeBob:''' It's not the quarter.

'''Patrick:''' Oh.

'''SpongeBob:''' Now take that quarter and buy some cotton candy...(Patrick interrupts and SpongeBob’s finger deflates)

'''Patrick:''' Cotton candy! I can't believe it! (Patrick chases the cotton candy seller) Cotton candy!

'''Cotton Candy Seller:''' Hey, get away! Hey!

'''Sandy:''' Sandy to SpongeBob. (SpongeBob takes out a walkie-talkie where Sandy’s voice is coming from) Sandy to SpongeBob. Come in SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ten-four Sandy, SpongeBob here. (we see Sandy closing in with the balloon on the carnival)

'''Sandy:''' (floating toward the carnival in the balloon) I got a visual on the carnival. You want me to bring her in?

'''SpongeBob:''' Ohh, not yet, Sandy. Patrick's still trying to guess what his Valentine is.

'''Sandy:''' (chuckles) You are such a kidder, Sandy out. That SpongeBob... (a group of Orange Balloon Destroyer oysters are heading toward the balloon) Scallops...chocolate-eating scallops!

'''Patrick:''' So if it's not cotton candy then what is it? I can't take it!

'''SpongeBob:''' You'll have to guess!

'''Patrick:''' (points at a tent) This tent?

'''SpongeBob:''' No.

'''Patrick:''' (holds up a man in line for something) This guy?

'''SpongeBob:''' No. (we see micro-organisms swimming around; it's Patrick's view through a microscope)

'''Patrick:''' This paramecium?

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Nope.

'''Patrick:''' (giggles) Heh, you're a sly one. I can't find here in the carnival...because it's on top of Mount 'Climb Up and Fall Off'. (runs up the mountain and falls off then runs back to SpongeBob) It wasn't there either!

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you sure? (runs up mountain and falls off again. SpongeBob uses his walkie-talkie to tell Sandy something) SpongeBob to Sandy, you can bring it in now. (Sandy is using a whip to keep scallops away)

'''Sandy:''' Uhh, SpongeBob, we got ourselves a little problem. I got a pack of chocolate-eating scallops trying to rustle the balloon! Hi-yah! Get away, you sweet-toothed varmints! Hi-yah! I'm going to be a little late!

'''SpongeBob:''' Late? But what about... (Patrick still jumping on and off mountain) ...Patrick?

'''Sandy:''' hing-ya! Take him up to the Ferris wheel and I'll meet you there! Sandy out!

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts away the walkie-talkie) If Patrick doesn't get his valentine... (screams)

'''Patrick:''' (suddenly appears from behind, all bruised) I'm pretty sure it's not up there, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob:''' Uhh...Patrick, actually it's on the Ferris...

'''Patrick:''' Ferris wheel! (he grabs Sponge and runs toward it; cut to them on the Ferris wheel being brought to the top) I'm ready for the greatest Valentine's present in the whole world now, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well this is where you're gonna get it...I hope. Just keep looking out there, pal. (SpongeBob talks to Sandy again on the walkie-talkie) SpongeBob to Sandy, SpongeBob to Sandy, come in, Sandy! (Sandy is fighting the chocolate eating scallops.)

'''Sandy:''' Sandy to SpongeBob, I got my ox in a ditch here! I'm way off course! The scallops are eating the balloon! They're everywhere! (one scallop bites the balloon and the air goes out and it floats down) Aw, shoot! We're going down, SpongeBob! Switch to plan B!

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, B, Sandy! No, B! (Patrick is smiling big waiting for his surprise) Uh, Patrick, you know how sometimes you plan something special and things don't just work out?

'''Patrick:''' No...no...eh-gee! Holy mackerel! Is it hot up here or what! (rips off his shirt and moves the ferries wheel seats back and forth and then up and down. Next, the ferries wheel is jumping up and down and then SpongeBob puts out his hand/arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, here it is! (Patrick stares at SpongeBob’s hand/arm)

'''Patrick:''' What's that?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's a handshake...a friendly handshake.

'''Patrick:''' A handshake? That's the big gift? You got me a handshake?

'''SpongeBob:''' A friendly handshake. Happy Valentine's Day! (Patrick shakes his hand and stares it and makes a grumpy looking face. Spongebob laughs and throughout their playtime in the carnival, Patrick has the same grumpy look on his face)

'''Patrick:''' I've been thinking. At first a handshake doesn't looks like much, but really it's the thought that counts… (lady walks up with a box shaped like a heart full of chocolates in her arms)

'''Fran:''' Hey SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you for this box of chocolates.

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, no problem Fran. (walks off)

'''Patrick:''' And even though I was expecting more... (guy with roses walks up)

'''Dave:''' Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day.

'''SpongeBob:''' You too, Dave. (walks off)

'''Patrick:''' And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long... (some woman walks by with a bike)

'''Lady Fish:''' Hey SpongeBob, thanks for the bike! (talking to Patrick) Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning! (Patrick gets mad)

'''Patrick:''' So as I was saying...

'''Fish:''' Excuse me; do you guys have the time?

'''Patrick:''' (Patrick gets mad) Patrick need love, too! (Patrick goes psycho freaky. Cuts the balloon strings from a salesman and destroys his Balloon cart. We see kids playing a guy in a heart suit.)
'''Kids:''' We love heart man...

'''Patrick:'''I defy you, Heart Man! (Patrick rips the suit in half)

'''P.A. System:''' Attention everyone, there's a chubby pink starfish on the loose! (everyone runs screaming. Patrick sees a twirl-around ride that has hearts on it and goes mad over it)

'''Patrick:''' Heart on stick must die! (goes to the pole and tries to pick it up. Gives up eventually. Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop) Heart on stick must die! (grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth)

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick! (Patrick turns around with an evil look on his face and everyone gets scared and runs to a dead-end of one of the carnival sides. Then Patrick goes freaky on them)

'''Patrick:''' Give me SpongeBob! (SpongeBob is thrown in front of the group of citizens) You broke my heart! Now I'm gonna break something of yours!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Patrick, I know I deserve this. (notes the crowd) But, do they?

'''Patrick:''' They didn't get me anything either! (They throw a pile of gifts at Patrick’s feet) Nope, it's too late for that now...for all of you! (walks onto and over the gifts, wanting to destroy everyone, starting with spongebob. the citizens take a step back and SpongeBob is scared)

'''Sandy:''' Yee-haw! Get along little shellfish! Gallop you scallops! (whipping the scallops as she lands in the carnival with the balloon)

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! Sandy's here! Woo-hoo! Look Patrick, it's here! It's here! The best valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you! (jumping up and down pointing behind Patrick)

'''Patrick:''' Sure it is.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm telling you, it's right there, turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Uh-uh.

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, just turn around! (everyone is yelling at Patrick to turn around but he doesn’t)

'''Patrick:''' You think I'm pretty stupid, do you?

'''Crowd:''' Yes! Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' No.

'''All:''' Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Nuh-uh!

'''All:''' (chanting) Turn around! Turn around!

'''Patrick:''' Nuh-uh. I'm gonna say this once and I'm not going to say it again, so pay attention. I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around for any reason...ever!

'''Sandy:''' Howdy, Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' (turns around) Hi Sandy! (notices the chocolate balloon then is confused and Speaks gibberish)

'''SpongeBob:''' Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick! (Patrick jumps for joy and jumps on the balloon)

'''Patrick:''' Yay! My valentine! Hey, is this solid chocolate?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, no! (Patrick bites the balloon and chocolate spills everywhere. SpongeBob and Patrick are in The mess)

'''Patrick:''' Aw SpongeBob, you didn't have to get me anything.

{{Transcripts/Season 1}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Valentine’s Day (Episode)

2009-02-14T14:19:48Z

162.83.227.25: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Valentine's Day.jpg|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Valentine's Day
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 16a
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 14.2.2000
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 1
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Suds]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[The Paper]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Valentine's Day"''' is an episode from Season 1

==Info==
===Time/Date===
*February 14

===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Tina]]
*[[Fran]]
*[[Dave]]
*People at the Valentine's Day Carnival

===Places===
*[[Goo Lagoon]] ([[Valentine's Day Carnival]])
*Outside [[SpongeBob's House]]
*All around [[Bikini Bottom]]
*Outside [[Treedome|Sandy's Treedome]]
*Outside [[Patrick's House]]

==Plot==
The episode begins with a shot of SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob suddenly dashes out through the door with a pile of valentines in his arms, screams out "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!", and begins giving them to his friends, but bad things happen in turn, such as Mrs. Puff running into a fire hydrant when she gets hers. He even gives one to Plankton, which is delivered with the help of tweezers. He then comes up to Sandy's treedome and they present gifts to each other. Sandy gives SongeBob a nut with an arrow though it and says, "I'm nuts for you!," and in turn, Spongebob blows a bubble of chocolare into Sandy's moutn. He then tells Sandy his plan for Patrick's valentine gift, which involves taking him to the Valentine's Day carnival, getting him on the ferris wheel, and revealing to him a hot-air balloon made of Chocolate with a marshmallow Star on either side and a reeded basket. Sandy agrees to the plan, and SpongeBob leaves.

He then visits Patrick, who's making a rock heart for him, and SpongeBob teases Patrick by continuously telling him he can't see it yet because it's not ready yet. They then leave, and when they arrive at the carnival, Patrick goes on a frenzy to find out where the gift is, and constantly guesses the gift is something silly, like the carnival or a quarter. Meanwhile, Sandy is sailing the bubble to the carnival, but is interrupted by chocolate-eating scallops. Back at the carnival, after trying to find the gift at a nearby mountain, SpongeBob takes Patrick to the ferris wheel to see the sky, and after SpongeBob tells him to look at the sky until he sees it, Sandy tells him via walkie-talkie that chocolate-eating scallops are attacking the balloon, and a scallop pops the balloon, so SpongeBob is forced to go to Plan B, but he only has one plan.

Patrick's excitement begins to overtake him as he starts to shake up and down, causing the Ferris wheel to shake, then jump. SpongeBob has to tell him that the present is a handshake, and Patrick gets angry because he got a single handshake. They then go visit other attractions to cheer him up, but nothing works. SpongeBob's other friends visit him to thank him for the gifts they gave him. After a few friends visit, Patrick becomes extremely angry, and when SpongeBob's last friend goes to thank him, he jumps up, tosses him away, and screams, "PATRICK NEEDS LOVE TOO-OO-OOOOO!!!!" He then throws a fit and starts wrecking the carnival. Because of the damage he's inflicting, the intercom tells the crowd that there's a pink starfish on the loose, and everybody panics. He sees a mascot dressed as a giant heart, says "I defy you, Heart-man!" and destroys the heart suit. He sees a ride in the carnival that consists of a heart on a stick with small carriages rotating around it, and says "Heart on stick must die!". However, he is unsuccessful in breaking it, then sees a heart-shaped lollipop being held by a girl. Again, he says "Heart on stick must die!" and breaks it. He advances on the people a few minutes later, and they try to give him gifts, but he says "It's too late... for ALL of you," meaning he is about to destroy everyone, starting with Spongebob.

But before he gets the chance, Sandy arrives on the balloon, with spots of the balloon covered with bandages from the scallop attack. They all tell him to turn around, but he refuses until Sandy shouts "Howdy, Patrick!" He turns around and shouts "Hi Sandy", becomes awestruck, and then takes a bite of his present, and the whole carnival is covered in chocolate. Smiling at SpongeBob and completely forgetting his anger, Patrick says, "Aww, SpongeBob, you didn't have to get me anything," and the episode concludes.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*When SpongeBob is throwing Valentine's Day hearts the pile seems to grow even though he is not putting more hearts in it.
*This is the first episode that received complaints about preaching homosexuality.
*In the Netherlands version of this episode, when the guy asks Patrick for the time, Patrick tells him the time (3:15 PM) instead of saying "Patrick needs love, too!"
*When SpongeBob blew a chocolate Valentine to Sandy, Sandy's helmet has an opening that runs the valentine to her. However, when it opens, no water was seen running through it.
*When a scallop takes a bite out of the chocolate balloon, it is filled with air. But when Patrick takes a bite out of it, it is filled with chocolate, which splatters all over the place.
*Patrick goes crazy when all he gets is a handshake. A reason why Sandy didn't for getting a bubble is that she's more mature.
*When Sandy is on the chocolate balloon her tail is missing and her suit seems to be smaller.
*This episode is not famous like all the other Season 1 episodes because it never broadcasted in major schedule.
*At the Ferris wheel, SpongeBob says ''D'oh!'' like Homer Simpson but more longer and softly.
*At the end of the episode, Patrick tells SpongeBob he didn't need to give him anything, which doesn't make sense because he went on a rampage because he thought SpongeBob didn't give him a single thing.
*"Valentine's Day" won under the letter "V" of the [[Atlantis SquarePantis]] marathon.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Valentine's Day]]

==Video==
*[http://watchspongebobonline.com/spongebob-squarepants-season-1-episode-16-valentines-day/ Valentine's Day Video]

{{Season1}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 1]]

[[de:Das Valentinsgeschenk (Episode)]]