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Talk:Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis

2022-11-28T00:56:35Z

135.26.76.254: Atlantis SquarePantis

Atlantis SquarePantis is a TV Movie

Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. The Patty Gadget

2022-11-28T00:54:08Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Money Talks|Money Talks]]
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Episode article: [[SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget (Episode)|SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patty Gadget]] (debut)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]] (narrator)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[King Neptune]] (cameo)
*Other Bikini Bottomites

==Dialogue==
(a book entitled "The Legend of SpongeBob SquarePants" is on a wooden type platform)

'''Patchy:''' Ahoy, mateys! Today I be spillin' a tale ye won't soon forget. (book opens and shows a chapter called "SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget") It's "SpongeBob SquarePants Vs. The Patty Gadget". (the episode proper starts at the Krusty Krab) Now, SpongeBob was workin'. His eye on the grill till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill.

'''SpongeBob:''' What's going on? What could it mean?

'''Patchy:''' Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cookin' machine. (a round, metal machine comes through the doors) And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne. (cut to Squidward's zits on his face)

'''Squidward:''' Hey!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place?

'''Squidward:''' A miracle, a marvel. It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste?

'''Squidward:''' I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face. (hands Mr. Krabs a Krabby Patty)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I have to admit, that patty was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've already got a fry cook and he's always on time.

'''Squidward:''' Ah, but this gizmo is faster and you won't pay it a dime.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost?

'''Squidward:''' Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him get lost. (SpongeBob is staring from the kitchen window)

'''Patchy:''' The machine wanted his job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pushes the grill out the kitchen) I challenge your gadget; I declare patty war!

'''Patchy:''' With 3 little words, Krabs started the show. His flag in the air, he cried-

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ready, set, go!

'''Patchy:''' Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever and then sat back feeling oh, so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight in his fist, flung twenty patties, not a single one missed. (SpongeBob throws twenty patties on the grill) The crowd was VERY impressed.

'''Sandy:''' Wow!

'''Patchy:''' They cheered full of glee. All except Patrick, who had to go pee. (everyone cheers but Patrick, who is wiggling a lot) A noise and a clatter came from the machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out-

'''SpongeBob:''' I won't be defeated!

'''Patchy:''' He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. And dozens of patties filled up in his cheeks. (breaths in so hard that a bag of patties flee into his mouth) He strained and he sweated, he summoned his will. And shot Krabby Patties all on the grill.

'''Squidward:''' Not bad!

'''Patchy:''' Yelled out Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high. (pulls down the machine lever to set it on high)

'''Patchy:''' The gizmo, it shuddered. It crackled, it shook! And as Squidward laughed:

'''Squidward:''' Ha, ha.

'''Patchy:''' Sandy said:

'''Sandy:''' What a schnook.

'''Patchy:''' But SpongeBob cried out-

'''SpongeBob:''' I won't lose to that thing!

'''Patchy:''' Then he held up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred without even trying. Squidward was worried. SpongeBob couldn't be beat.

'''Squidward:''' I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat!

'''Patchy:''' He struggled and strained 'til his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two. The gadget buckled and sparked. It cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling:

'''Squidward:''' (runs out of the Krusty Krab) Let me know if I won!

'''Patchy:''' Lightning flew from its maw. It looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled...

'''SpongeBob:''' Foul beast, do your worst!

'''Patchy:''' The patties came flying, by twos and be threes. By dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see. Aye,that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master. (patty gadget blows up) The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud that it woke King Neptune. (King Neptune is in his bed, asleep, until he hears the boom)

'''King Neptune:''' (mumbles) What's that? (cut back to the Krusty Krab)

'''Patchy:''' It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud!" But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud. (SpongeBob falls over. The crowd gasps. Cut to a grave, where Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are standing in front of it) The service was short. Tears shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset. (Squidward sets flowers over the grave and walks away, crying. Then, SpongeBob walks up to the grave)

'''SpongeBob:''' Whoo, yeah! (dances cheerfully)

'''Patchy:''' What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget. Ha-ha, this I swear. (camera pans below the dirt where we see the patty gadget underground. Book closes) Well, that ends me tale, straight from the book. Now I gotta go and polish me hook.

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 5}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:53:11Z

135.26.76.254: /* Story */

{{EpInfo|SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget|88b.jpg|88b|5|July 31, 2007|Money Talks|Slimy Dancing}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Burger-Aparillo.JPG|200px]]</center>The [[Patty Gadget]] © Viacom
|-
|}

'''SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 5|Season 5]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] and [[Spat]]
*[[Patty Gadget]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]] (As the Narrator)
*Other Customers
*[[King Neptune]] (cameo)

==Plot==
It starts with Patchy opening the book, 'The Legend of SpongeBob SquarePants'. The story (in the form of a rhyming poem) then follows what happens in the book. SpongeBob happily works in the Krusty Krab kitchen, when Squidward walks in with a large machine made to cook Krabby Patty instantly. Mr. Krabs asks Squidward what the machine is, and Squidward answers, "A miracle, a marvel! It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace!" Squidward wanted to trade SpongeBob for the faster and cheaper machine. Mr. Krabs is about to fire SpongeBob, but SpongeBob then burst through the door, challenging the Machine to a cook off. After both have finished their first batch of patties, Squidward broke the machine's lever, causing it to malfunction. SpongeBob got the upper hand, with the Patty Gadget shooting out patties by 2s and by 3s until the machine exploded. As the crowd cheered, SpongeBob fell with exhaustion and he drops his spatula, making it seem like SpongeBob had died. The next scene shows a funeral with Squidward the saddest one there. Surprisingly, SpongeBob walks up to the grave and dances on it. This is when we discover that the funeral was for Squidward's machine, not for SpongeBob. Patchy then closes the book, ending the episode.

==Story==
*'''Patchy''': "Now, SpongeBob was workin'. His eye on the grill till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill."
*'''SpongeBob''': "What's going on? What could it mean?
*'''Patchy''': "Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cook machine. And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne."
*'''Mr. Krabs''': "What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place?"
*'''Squidward''': "A miracle, a marvel. It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace."
*Mr. Krabs: "But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste?"
*Squidward: I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face."
*Mr. Krabs: "I have to admit, that patty was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've already got a fry cook and he's always on time."
*Squidward: "Ah, but this gizmo is faster and won't pay it a dime."
*Mr. Krabs: "Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost?"
*Squidward: "Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him get lost."
*Patchy: "This machine wanted a job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door."
*SpongeBob: "I challenge your gadget; I declare patty war!"
*Patchy: "With 3 little words, Krabs started the show. His flag in the air, he cried-"
*Mr. Krabs: "Ready, set, go!"
*Patchy: "Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever and then sat back feeling oh, so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight with his fist flung twenty patties, not a single one missed. The crowd was VERY impressed. They cheered full of glee. All except Patrick, who had to go pee. A noise and a clatter came from that machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't be defeated!"
*Patchy: "He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. And dozens of patties filled up in his cheeks. He strained and he sweated, he summoned his will. And shot Krabby Patties all on the grill."
*Squidward: "Not bad!"
*Patchy: "Yelled out Squidward."
*Squidward: "A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high."
*Patchy: "The gizmo, it shuddered. It crackled, it shook! And as Squidward laughed:"
*Squidward: "Ha, ha."
*Patchy: "Sandy said:"
*Sandy: "What a schnook."
*Patchy: "But SpongeBob cried out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't lose to that thing!"
*Patchy: "Then he held up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred without even trying. Squidward was worried. SpongeBob couldn't be beat."
*Squidward: "I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat!"
*Patchy: "He struggled and strained 'til his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two. The gadget buckled and sparked. It cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling:"
*Squidward: "Let me know if I won!"
*Patchy: "Lightning flew from its maw. It looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled..."
*SpongeBob: "Foul beast, do your worst!"
*Patchy: "The patties came flying, by twos and be threes. By dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see. Aye,that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master. The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud that it woke King Neptune. It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud!" But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud. The service was short. Tears shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset. What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget. Ha-ha, this I swear."

==Trivia==
*This is the first time Squidward invents something and the first time Squidward is the main antagonist and villain. (Although he did convince SpongeBob and Patrick that they were enemies once.)
*This is the first episode to rhyme. Patchy did the most rhyming work.
*This episode is half as long as a normal one, so that 3 episodes could play.
*This episode is one of the only episodes to feature Patchy the Pirate's voice without him being on the screen.
*The rhyming is very similar to that of Dr. Seuss.
*Squidward has acne.
*This is King Neptune's season five debut.
*This episode marks another time SpongeBob competes for whoever makes the most Krabby Patties.
*This short episode is similar to the tall tale of John Henry, a story about a railroad man versus a robot to see who makes a railroad faster, except for the fact that SpongeBob lives at the end.
*This is another episode with [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] having a non-speaking role.
*This is another episode where Mr. Krabs joins in Squidward's plans against SpongeBob.
*It is unknown that the grave with Squidward's Hopes and Dreams in [[One Krab's Trash]] was the grave with The Patty Gadget.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. The Patty Gadget|Transcript for SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]]

{{Season5}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 5]]
[[de:SpongeBob gegen den Burger-Aparillo (Episode)]]

SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:52:02Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget|88b.jpg|88b|5|July 31, 2007|Money Talks|Slimy Dancing}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Burger-Aparillo.JPG|200px]]</center>The [[Patty Gadget]] © Viacom
|-
|}

'''SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 5|Season 5]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]] and [[Spat]]
*[[Patty Gadget]] (debut)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]] (as the Narrator)
*Other Customers
*[[King Neptune]] (cameo)

==Plot==
It starts with Patchy opening the book, 'The Legend of SpongeBob SquarePants'. The story (in the form of a rhyming poem) then follows what happens in the book. SpongeBob happily works in the Krusty Krab kitchen, when Squidward walks in with a large machine made to cook Krabby Patty instantly. Mr. Krabs asks Squidward what the machine is, and Squidward answers, "A miracle, a marvel! It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace!" Squidward wanted to trade SpongeBob for the faster and cheaper machine. Mr. Krabs is about to fire SpongeBob, but SpongeBob then burst through the door, challenging the Machine to a cook off. After both have finished their first batch of patties, Squidward broke the machine's lever, causing it to malfunction. SpongeBob got the upper hand, with the Patty Gadget shooting out patties by 2s and by 3s until the machine exploded. As the crowd cheered, SpongeBob fell with exhaustion and he drops his spatula, making it seem like SpongeBob had died. The next scene shows a funeral with Squidward the saddest one there. Surprisingly, SpongeBob walks up to the grave and dances on it. This is when we discover that the funeral was for Squidward's machine, not for SpongeBob. Patchy then closes the book, ending the episode.

==Story==
*Patchy: "Now, SpongeBob was workin'. His eye on the grill till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill."
*SpongeBob: "What's going on? What could it mean?
*Patchy: "Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cook machine. And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne."
*Mr. Krabs: "What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place?"
*Squidward: "A miracle, a marvel. It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace."
*Mr. Krabs: "But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste?"
*Squidward: I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face."
*Mr. Krabs: "I have to admit, that patty was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've already got a fry cook and he's always on time."
*Squidward: "Ah, but this gizmo is faster and won't pay it a dime."
*Mr. Krabs: "Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost?"
*Squidward: "Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him get lost."
*Patchy: "This machine wanted a job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door."
*SpongeBob: "I challenge your gadget; I declare patty war!"
*Patchy: "With 3 little words, Krabs started the show. His flag in the air, he cried-"
*Mr. Krabs: "Ready, set, go!"
*Patchy: "Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever and then sat back feeling oh, so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight with his fist flung twenty patties, not a single one missed. The crowd was VERY impressed. They cheered full of glee. All except Patrick, who had to go pee. A noise and a clatter came from that machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't be defeated!"
*Patchy: "He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. And dozens of patties filled up in his cheeks. He strained and he sweated, he summoned his will. And shot Krabby Patties all on the grill."
*Squidward: "Not bad!"
*Patchy: "Yelled out Squidward."
*Squidward: "A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high."
*Patchy: "The gizmo, it shuddered. It crackled, it shook! And as Squidward laughed:"
*Squidward: "Ha, ha."
*Patchy: "Sandy said:"
*Sandy: "What a schnook."
*Patchy: "But SpongeBob cried out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't lose to that thing!"
*Patchy: "Then he held up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred without even trying. Squidward was worried. SpongeBob couldn't be beat."
*Squidward: "I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat!"
*Patchy: "He struggled and strained 'til his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two. The gadget buckled and sparked. It cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling:"
*Squidward: "Let me know if I won!"
*Patchy: "Lightning flew from its maw. It looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled..."
*SpongeBob: "Foul beast, do your worst!"
*Patchy: "The patties came flying, by twos and be threes. By dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see. Aye,that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master. The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud that it woke King Neptune. It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud!" But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud. The service was short. Tears shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset. What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget. Ha-ha, this I swear."

==Trivia==
*This is the first time Squidward invents something and the first time Squidward is the main antagonist and villain. (Although he did convince SpongeBob and Patrick that they were enemies once.)
*This is the first episode to rhyme. Patchy did the most rhyming work.
*This episode is half as long as a normal one, so that 3 episodes could play.
*This episode is one of the only episodes to feature Patchy the Pirate's voice without him being on the screen.
*The rhyming is very similar to that of Dr. Seuss.
*Squidward has acne.
*This is King Neptune's season five debut.
*This episode marks another time SpongeBob competes for whoever makes the most Krabby Patties.
*This short episode is similar to the tall tale of John Henry, a story about a railroad man versus a robot to see who makes a railroad faster, except for the fact that SpongeBob lives at the end.
*This is another episode with [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] having a non-speaking role.
*This is another episode where Mr. Krabs joins in Squidward's plans against SpongeBob.
*It is unknown that the grave with Squidward's Hopes and Dreams in [[One Krab's Trash]] was the grave with The Patty Gadget.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. The Patty Gadget|Transcript for SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]]

{{Season5}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 5]]
[[de:SpongeBob gegen den Burger-Aparillo (Episode)]]

SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:51:41Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget|88b.jpg|88b|5|July 31, 2007|Money Talks|Slimy Dancing}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Burger-Aparillo.JPG|200px]]</center>The [[Patty Gadget]] © Viacom
|-
|}

'''SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 5|Season 5]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]] and [[Spat]]
*[[Patty Gadget]] (debut)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]] (As the Narrator)
*Other Customers
*[[King Neptune]] (cameo)

==Plot==
It starts with Patchy opening the book, 'The Legend of SpongeBob SquarePants'. The story (in the form of a rhyming poem) then follows what happens in the book. SpongeBob happily works in the Krusty Krab kitchen, when Squidward walks in with a large machine made to cook Krabby Patty instantly. Mr. Krabs asks Squidward what the machine is, and Squidward answers, "A miracle, a marvel! It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace!" Squidward wanted to trade SpongeBob for the faster and cheaper machine. Mr. Krabs is about to fire SpongeBob, but SpongeBob then burst through the door, challenging the Machine to a cook off. After both have finished their first batch of patties, Squidward broke the machine's lever, causing it to malfunction. SpongeBob got the upper hand, with the Patty Gadget shooting out patties by 2s and by 3s until the machine exploded. As the crowd cheered, SpongeBob fell with exhaustion and he drops his spatula, making it seem like SpongeBob had died. The next scene shows a funeral with Squidward the saddest one there. Surprisingly, SpongeBob walks up to the grave and dances on it. This is when we discover that the funeral was for Squidward's machine, not for SpongeBob. Patchy then closes the book, ending the episode.

==Story==
*Patchy: "Now, SpongeBob was workin'. His eye on the grill till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill."
*SpongeBob: "What's going on? What could it mean?
*Patchy: "Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cook machine. And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne."
*Mr. Krabs: "What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place?"
*Squidward: "A miracle, a marvel. It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace."
*Mr. Krabs: "But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste?"
*Squidward: I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face."
*Mr. Krabs: "I have to admit, that patty was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've already got a fry cook and he's always on time."
*Squidward: "Ah, but this gizmo is faster and won't pay it a dime."
*Mr. Krabs: "Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost?"
*Squidward: "Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him get lost."
*Patchy: "This machine wanted a job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door."
*SpongeBob: "I challenge your gadget; I declare patty war!"
*Patchy: "With 3 little words, Krabs started the show. His flag in the air, he cried-"
*Mr. Krabs: "Ready, set, go!"
*Patchy: "Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever and then sat back feeling oh, so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight with his fist flung twenty patties, not a single one missed. The crowd was VERY impressed. They cheered full of glee. All except Patrick, who had to go pee. A noise and a clatter came from that machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't be defeated!"
*Patchy: "He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. And dozens of patties filled up in his cheeks. He strained and he sweated, he summoned his will. And shot Krabby Patties all on the grill."
*Squidward: "Not bad!"
*Patchy: "Yelled out Squidward."
*Squidward: "A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high."
*Patchy: "The gizmo, it shuddered. It crackled, it shook! And as Squidward laughed:"
*Squidward: "Ha, ha."
*Patchy: "Sandy said:"
*Sandy: "What a schnook."
*Patchy: "But SpongeBob cried out-"
*SpongeBob: "I won't lose to that thing!"
*Patchy: "Then he held up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred without even trying. Squidward was worried. SpongeBob couldn't be beat."
*Squidward: "I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat!"
*Patchy: "He struggled and strained 'til his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two. The gadget buckled and sparked. It cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling:"
*Squidward: "Let me know if I won!"
*Patchy: "Lightning flew from its maw. It looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled..."
*SpongeBob: "Foul beast, do your worst!"
*Patchy: "The patties came flying, by twos and be threes. By dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see. Aye,that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master. The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud that it woke King Neptune. It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud!" But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud. The service was short. Tears shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset. What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget. Ha-ha, this I swear."

==Trivia==
*This is the first time Squidward invents something and the first time Squidward is the main antagonist and villain. (Although he did convince SpongeBob and Patrick that they were enemies once.)
*This is the first episode to rhyme. Patchy did the most rhyming work.
*This episode is half as long as a normal one, so that 3 episodes could play.
*This episode is one of the only episodes to feature Patchy the Pirate's voice without him being on the screen.
*The rhyming is very similar to that of Dr. Seuss.
*Squidward has acne.
*This is King Neptune's season five debut.
*This episode marks another time SpongeBob competes for whoever makes the most Krabby Patties.
*This short episode is similar to the tall tale of John Henry, a story about a railroad man versus a robot to see who makes a railroad faster, except for the fact that SpongeBob lives at the end.
*This is another episode with [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] having a non-speaking role.
*This is another episode where Mr. Krabs joins in Squidward's plans against SpongeBob.
*It is unknown that the grave with Squidward's Hopes and Dreams in [[One Krab's Trash]] was the grave with The Patty Gadget.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. The Patty Gadget|Transcript for SpongeBob vs. The Patty Gadget]]

{{Season5}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 5]]
[[de:SpongeBob gegen den Burger-Aparillo (Episode)]]

Patrick SmartPants (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:49:39Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|Patrick SmartPants|Titlecard-Patrick SmartPants.jpg|68a|4|October 21, 2005|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|SquidBob TentaclePants}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Schlaukopf.jpg|300px]]</center>Patrick finally gets smart... for once
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''Patrick SmartPants''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**[[Patrick SmartPants]] (debut)
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] (cameo)

===Plot===
SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing in [[Jellyfish Fields]] until Patrick falls into the [[Brain Coral|Brain Coral Fields]]. SpongeBob sees what is wrong and places Patrick's head back on and he suddenly possesses greater intellect and greater intelligence. This eventually tears their friendship apart because they both want to do different things. Patrick tries to help people such as Sandy and Squidward but Patrick becomes more hated, because of his arrogant attitude. Eventually, Patrick tells SpongeBob that they have to go separate ways and both are sad.

Then Patrick wants to try to become friends with SpongeBob again by using science. This is unsuccessful and then Patrick tells SpongeBob to tell him when the fun went away. So Patrick falls off the cliff into the Brain Coral fields and duplicates his actions. SpongeBob looks around for Patrick's head and they find a Brain Coral Field where brain coral lies. SpongeBob gets Patrick's real head and Patrick is back to normal!

===Trivia/Goofs===
*The first few times this episode was shown, it had scrolling captions. This was later changed.
*Smart Patrick is so upset that he makes a solution to get SpongeBob back he makes his hair grow, just so that he can pull it out in his anger. This is ironically the answer to Squidward's dream to have hair.
*Patrick calls SpongeBob "Robert" (the name "Bob" is short for "Robert"), which indicates that SpongeBob's real name may be SpongeRobert SquarePants. However, Robert as his full name was not confirmed by [[Stephen Hillenburg]]. Also, in the scene where Patrick is in Sandy's treedome, Patrick calls her "Sandra", which indicates that Sandy's real name may be Sandra Cheeks, as "Sandy" is short for "Sandra". However, Sandra as her full name was not confirmed by Hillenburg either. There could always be the possibility that SpongeBob and Sandy's parents wanted their names to be the short versions, and not short for anything in their particular cases.
*SpongeBob and Patrick both have a talent for belch-talking.
*This is the second time Plankton appears without [[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]. The first was [[Walking Small (Episode)|Walking Small]].
*In the scene where Patrick is sitting and meditating on top of his rock, the burning sticks around him are called incense.
*Plankton makes a cameo in this episode, saying, "I'll show you subspecies!"
*This is the first episode pair to end with the word ''pants'' in both episodes.
*SpongeBob's burp-talking from this episode was used in the Burping Contest during Kid's Choice Awards 2009.
*When Patrick leaves Squidward's house, SpongeBob's house isn't seen.
*This episode is sort of like [[Breath of Fresh Squidward (Episode)|Breath of Fresh Squidward]]; in both episdoes, something about a character becomes the opposite.
*Despite the joke about strumming a jellyfish, this is actually the second time a jellyfish has been strummed. The first was in [[Jellyfish Jam (Episode)|Jellyfish Jam]].
*The scene where Patrick falls off the cliff is reminiscent of the Looney Tunes Road Runner cartoons where the Coyote falls from a cliff.

==Images==
'''© Viacom'''
<gallery>
File:68a Patrick.jpg|Patrick with a book
File:Cliff.jpg|The Cliff
File:BrainCoralFields.jpg|Brain Coral Fields
</gallery>

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Patrick SmartPants|Transcript for Patrick SmartPants]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

SquidBob TentaclePants (character)

2022-11-28T00:48:47Z

135.26.76.254: SquidBob TentaclePants

[[Image:squid.jpg|thumb|right|[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] and [[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] morphed together.]]
'''SquidBob TentaclePants''' is that SpongeBob and Squidward are morphed together after the transportation accident. He appeared in [[SquidBob TentaclePants (Episode)|SquidBob TentaclePants]].

==Looks==
SquidBob has SpongeBob's normal head/body, while Squidward's head is sticking out of the upper right. SpongeBob's left arm and right leg are Squidward's.

[[Category:Character]]

SquidBob TentaclePants (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:48:08Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|SquidBob TentaclePants|Titlecard-SquidBob TentaclePants.jpg|68b|4|November 4, 2005|Patrick SmartPants|Krusty Towers}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:RockonDude.jpg|300px]]</center>Rock on!
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''SquidBob TentaclePants''' is an episode from [[Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
**[[SquidBob TentaclePants]] (debut)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Scooter]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]] (cameo)
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]] (cameo)
*[[Dr. Gill Gilliam]]
*[[Timmy]]
*Bikini Bottom Kindergarten Teacher
*Bikini Bottomites

==Plot==
Sandy invents a teleportation machine, which SpongeBob uses to travel directly to the Krusty Krab. Unfortunately, Squidward was at the exact same place where SpongeBob traveled to. SpongeBob and Squidward are mixed up together, with grotesque results. Squidward states that he has a clarinet recital tomorrow night. He begs and pleads with Sandy hoping that Sandy will invent a new experiment to separate them. After the applause from the audience Squidward decides he doesn't want to be defused. Sandy separates them and Squidward gets angry. He starts pressing knobs and buttons on the machine and ends up fusing everyone together. The episode ends when Squidward is asked by a therapist, "What seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?" Squidward then replies, "It all started... When I was born." At which point the camera zooms out to show that everyone from the audience is fused together in a grotesque conglomeration and fell ill.

==Cultural References==
*Squidward's hair in his fantasy is similar to Kenny G's.
*The "being fused with a teleportation device" premise is taken from the movie, The Fly. But in this episode, the science fiction component is on fusing both bodies into one while '''The Fly''' focused on replacing body parts.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the first episode to feature a pairing with Squidward and Sandy,
*In this episode, when SpongeBob and Squidward are mutated, Squidward uses SpongeBob's yellow arm to move and SpongeBob uses Squidward's green arm to move. But when they were seen going home Squidward opened his door with his own arm and at the end of the episode, before they go on stage, SpongeBob tells Squidward, "Now go out there and give them the best darn show they have ever seen," pointing with the yellow arm instead of the green.
*This is the first time Squidward and SpongeBob mashed up. The second one was in [[Slimy Dancing (Episode)|Slimy Dancing]].
*When Squidward says, "I can't be stuck to him!" A shot shows SpongeBob with two yellow arms or Squidward with a yellow arm just like in [[Club SpongeBob (Episode)|Club SpongeBob]].
*This is the only episode pair to have the titles parody the show's name.
*This is one of the episode where something bad happens just because SpongeBob is late. Others were [[Missing Identity (Episode)|Missing Identity]] and [[New Digs (Episode)|New Digs]].
*At the very beginning, in Squidward's dream, his hair is like Kenny G's
*This is the few times Sandy said "What in tarnation!"
*This is the third time someone called SpongeBob "SpongeBoob". The first was in "Missing Identity" (where Patrick said it) and the second was in ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]'' (where Plankton sarcastically said "Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.").
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] says "see you at the [[Krusty Krab]], [[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]!" but the captions say 'Cafe Krab'.
*Larry is seen at the end of the episode before everyone is mutated into Squidward but Larry is not seen in the final scene when the others are a part of Squidward

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: SquidBob TentaclePants|Transcript for SquidBob TentaclePants]]

{{Season4}}
[[de:Thaddäus Tentakelkopf (Episode)]]
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

Patrick SmartPants (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:46:04Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|Patrick SmartPants|Titlecard-Patrick SmartPants.jpg|68a|4|October 21, 2005|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|SquidBob TentaclePants}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Schlaukopf.jpg|300px]]</center>Patrick finally gets smart... for once
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''Patrick SmartPants''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**Patrick SmartPants
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] (cameo)

===Plot===
SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing in [[Jellyfish Fields]] until Patrick falls into the [[Brain Coral|Brain Coral Fields]]. SpongeBob sees what is wrong and places Patrick's head back on and he suddenly possesses greater intellect and greater intelligence. This eventually tears their friendship apart because they both want to do different things. Patrick tries to help people such as Sandy and Squidward but Patrick becomes more hated, because of his arrogant attitude. Eventually, Patrick tells SpongeBob that they have to go separate ways and both are sad.

Then Patrick wants to try to become friends with SpongeBob again by using science. This is unsuccessful and then Patrick tells SpongeBob to tell him when the fun went away. So Patrick falls off the cliff into the Brain Coral fields and duplicates his actions. SpongeBob looks around for Patrick's head and they find a Brain Coral Field where brain coral lies. SpongeBob gets Patrick's real head and Patrick is back to normal!

===Trivia/Goofs===
*The first few times this episode was shown, it had scrolling captions. This was later changed.
*Smart Patrick is so upset that he makes a solution to get SpongeBob back he makes his hair grow, just so that he can pull it out in his anger. This is ironically the answer to Squidward's dream to have hair.
*Patrick calls SpongeBob "Robert" (the name "Bob" is short for "Robert"), which indicates that SpongeBob's real name may be SpongeRobert SquarePants. However, Robert as his full name was not confirmed by [[Stephen Hillenburg]]. Also, in the scene where Patrick is in Sandy's treedome, Patrick calls her "Sandra", which indicates that Sandy's real name may be Sandra Cheeks, as "Sandy" is short for "Sandra". However, Sandra as her full name was not confirmed by Hillenburg either. There could always be the possibility that SpongeBob and Sandy's parents wanted their names to be the short versions, and not short for anything in their particular cases.
*SpongeBob and Patrick both have a talent for belch-talking.
*This is the second time Plankton appears without [[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]. The first was [[Walking Small (Episode)|Walking Small]].
*In the scene where Patrick is sitting and meditating on top of his rock, the burning sticks around him are called incense.
*Plankton makes a cameo in this episode, saying, "I'll show you subspecies!"
*This is the first episode pair to end with the word ''pants'' in both episodes.
*SpongeBob's burp-talking from this episode was used in the Burping Contest during Kid's Choice Awards 2009.
*When Patrick leaves Squidward's house, SpongeBob's house isn't seen.
*This episode is sort of like [[Breath of Fresh Squidward (Episode)|Breath of Fresh Squidward]]; in both episdoes, something about a character becomes the opposite.
*Despite the joke about strumming a jellyfish, this is actually the second time a jellyfish has been strummed. The first was in [[Jellyfish Jam (Episode)|Jellyfish Jam]].
*The scene where Patrick falls off the cliff is reminiscent of the Looney Tunes Road Runner cartoons where the Coyote falls from a cliff.

==Images==
'''© Viacom'''
<gallery>
File:68a Patrick.jpg|Patrick with a book
File:Cliff.jpg|The Cliff
File:BrainCoralFields.jpg|Brain Coral Fields
</gallery>

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Patrick SmartPants|Transcript for Patrick SmartPants]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:44:50Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{cleanup}}
{{EpInfo|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Titlecard-Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI-The Motion Picture.jpg|67b|4/2004|October 7, 2005|Enemy In-Law|Patrick SmartPants}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|}

'''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: The Motion Picture''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Kelp Thing]]
*The [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club]] (debut)
*Retired Fish
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*Actors for the MM and BB movie
*[[Harold]]

===Original Crew for Movie===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Director
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Cameraman
*[[Mermaid Man]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Barnacle Boy]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Kelp Thing]]: Main Antagonist
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl]] on wheels: Invisible Boat Mobile
*[[Nat Peterson]]: Invisible Boat Mobile puller
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]: Boom Operator
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]: Stunts and Explosives Handler
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Make-up Artist

===Plot===
SpongeBob and Patrick are at a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fan club meeting, where they learn a new movie will be made based on the heroes but they find that the movie's versions of MM and BB are played by younger actors much to SpongeBob's and Patrick's dismay. When SpongeBob and Patrick wants the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy to play in the movie, they tell the club members that they must boycott the movie, but he and Patrick just get thrown out of the building. Instead, the boys go to Shady Shoals and tell Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy that [[Drippy Brothers Studio]] is making a movie about them with new actors. The heroes find the news horrible. Patrick suggests they make their own movie. Everybody likes the idea.

After coming up with ideas, SpongeBob and the crew (Sandy Cheeks, Pearl Krabs, Eugene H. Krabs, Patrick, Squidward Tentacles, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) meet to make the movie. SpongeBob is in charge of the movie. Squidward, the makeup artist, prepares the actors for the movie. Sandy is in charge of using the dynamite for explosion scenes. Mr. Krabs will cater the crew while Pearl is the leading lady. Patrick is the cameraman and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are the stars. Plankton auditions for [[ManRay]], but can't have the part because the villain's not in the movie, so he works the boom microphone instead. Mermaid Man has trouble with one of his lines and it takes 5,003 takes to get it right until Plankton accidentally shoves the boom into his mouth.

A scene is filmed where Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ride their [[The Invisible Boat Mobile|Invisible Boat Mobile]] (Pearl as the boat mobile) to Kelp-Thing's hideout. Pearl is too heavy to pull, so Nat, who is pulling her, speeds off the mountain, crashing into the sets. Patrick filmed it with the lens cap on, and with everything destroyed; there is no footage of the movie. SpongeBob, who goes berserk, knows the movie is ruined. Mermaid Man convinces him to finish the movie and goes on.

Mr. Krabs has a premiere night for SpongeBob's production in his restaurant, hoping to make a bundle from the movie. The leader of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club does pay a lot of money to buy 200 tickets on opening night, but only because the Drippy Bros. production is sold out before the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie can be seen. The entire fan club (except SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) does not like it because it looks like an old timey movie, is about two minutes in length, when it cuts for a bit while Mermaid Man is talking (when Mermaid Man is supposed to say "You can't do that! It's forbidden.", he instead says "You can't do that-forbidden.", and instead of saying "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!", Mermaid Man says "Mermaid Man- 'Click!' -narnacleboy Unite!"), and when it shows Sandy doing the stunts. However, Mermaid Man is glad that SpongeBob proved he and Barnacle Boy had "action" left in their old bones.

==Associated Production Music==
{{APM-link|K|Killer Birds}} - Gregor F. Narholz (SpongeBob starting to exaggerate)

{{APM-link|R|Ramblin Man from Gramblin}} - Sam Spence (Action Scene)

==Trivia/Goofs==
*In some close-up scenes of SpongeBob, he appears more green than yellow.
*[[Drippy Brothers Studio|Drippy Brothers Studios]] are a parody of Warner Bros. Studios.
*The [[Patty Vault]] appears in the final film.
*Mermaid Man gets a boom microphone stuck in his mouth. Ironically, John Kricfalusi had to redo a similar gag from a Ren and Stimpy episode only a decade before because Nick censors felt it looked too suggestive.
*This is the only episode in the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy mini-series to have a title card that is different from the usual title card.
*[[Mermaid Man's Belt]] is purple for the first time since Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV.
*The movie SpongeBob and Patrick made mentions a place called Fort Lox. The name is a spoof on the real-life Fort Knox, which houses tons of gold.
*Plankton is wearing Man Ray's helmet in small size.
*In every movie Mr. Krabs participates in, he wants the plot to involve Krabby Patties being stolen by somebody.
*During the "Bingo" scene, the announcer said, "A-29", even though there is no "A" in "Bingo". Although it could be a slurred "I".
*When SpongeBob said "it's 'stolen Krabby Patties'." for the first time, his right eye enlarges a bit.
*The lens cap suddenly appeared on the camera lens, easily known from when Patrick is seen filming before the lens cap scene.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Transcript for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]

{{MM&BB}}
{{Season4}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:43:47Z

135.26.76.254: /* Original Crew for Movie */

{{cleanup}}
{{EpInfo|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Titlecard-Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI-The Motion Picture.jpg|67b|4/2004|October 7, 2005|Enemy In-Law|Patrick SmartPants}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|}

'''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: The Motion Picture''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Kelp Thing]]
*The [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club]]
*Retired Fish
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*Actors for the MM and BB movie
*[[Harold]]

===Original Crew for Movie===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]: Director
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]: Cameraman
*[[Mermaid Man]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Barnacle Boy]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Kelp Thing]]: Main Antagonist
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]] on wheels: Invisible Boat Mobile
*[[Nat Peterson]]: Invisible Boat Mobile puller
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]: Boom Operator
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]: Stunts and Explosives Handler
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]: Make-up Artist

===Plot===
SpongeBob and Patrick are at a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fan club meeting, where they learn a new movie will be made based on the heroes but they find that the movie's versions of MM and BB are played by younger actors much to SpongeBob's and Patrick's dismay. When SpongeBob and Patrick wants the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy to play in the movie, they tell the club members that they must boycott the movie, but he and Patrick just get thrown out of the building. Instead, the boys go to Shady Shoals and tell Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy that [[Drippy Brothers Studio]] is making a movie about them with new actors. The heroes find the news horrible. Patrick suggests they make their own movie. Everybody likes the idea.

After coming up with ideas, SpongeBob and the crew (Sandy Cheeks, Pearl Krabs, Eugene H. Krabs, Patrick, Squidward Tentacles, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) meet to make the movie. SpongeBob is in charge of the movie. Squidward, the makeup artist, prepares the actors for the movie. Sandy is in charge of using the dynamite for explosion scenes. Mr. Krabs will cater the crew while Pearl is the leading lady. Patrick is the cameraman and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are the stars. Plankton auditions for [[ManRay]], but can't have the part because the villain's not in the movie, so he works the boom microphone instead. Mermaid Man has trouble with one of his lines and it takes 5,003 takes to get it right until Plankton accidentally shoves the boom into his mouth.

A scene is filmed where Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ride their [[The Invisible Boat Mobile|Invisible Boat Mobile]] (Pearl as the boat mobile) to Kelp-Thing's hideout. Pearl is too heavy to pull, so Nat, who is pulling her, speeds off the mountain, crashing into the sets. Patrick filmed it with the lens cap on, and with everything destroyed; there is no footage of the movie. SpongeBob, who goes berserk, knows the movie is ruined. Mermaid Man convinces him to finish the movie and goes on.

Mr. Krabs has a premiere night for SpongeBob's production in his restaurant, hoping to make a bundle from the movie. The leader of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club does pay a lot of money to buy 200 tickets on opening night, but only because the Drippy Bros. production is sold out before the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie can be seen. The entire fan club (except SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) does not like it because it looks like an old timey movie, is about two minutes in length, when it cuts for a bit while Mermaid Man is talking (when Mermaid Man is supposed to say "You can't do that! It's forbidden.", he instead says "You can't do that-forbidden.", and instead of saying "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!", Mermaid Man says "Mermaid Man- 'Click!' -narnacleboy Unite!"), and when it shows Sandy doing the stunts. However, Mermaid Man is glad that SpongeBob proved he and Barnacle Boy had "action" left in their old bones.

==Associated Production Music==
{{APM-link|K|Killer Birds}} - Gregor F. Narholz (SpongeBob starting to exaggerate)

{{APM-link|R|Ramblin Man from Gramblin}} - Sam Spence (Action Scene)

==Trivia/Goofs==
*In some close-up scenes of SpongeBob, he appears more green than yellow.
*[[Drippy Brothers Studio|Drippy Brothers Studios]] are a parody of Warner Bros. Studios.
*The [[Patty Vault]] appears in the final film.
*Mermaid Man gets a boom microphone stuck in his mouth. Ironically, John Kricfalusi had to redo a similar gag from a Ren and Stimpy episode only a decade before because Nick censors felt it looked too suggestive.
*This is the only episode in the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy mini-series to have a title card that is different from the usual title card.
*[[Mermaid Man's Belt]] is purple for the first time since Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV.
*The movie SpongeBob and Patrick made mentions a place called Fort Lox. The name is a spoof on the real-life Fort Knox, which houses tons of gold.
*Plankton is wearing Man Ray's helmet in small size.
*In every movie Mr. Krabs participates in, he wants the plot to involve Krabby Patties being stolen by somebody.
*During the "Bingo" scene, the announcer said, "A-29", even though there is no "A" in "Bingo". Although it could be a slurred "I".
*When SpongeBob said "it's 'stolen Krabby Patties'." for the first time, his right eye enlarges a bit.
*The lens cap suddenly appeared on the camera lens, easily known from when Patrick is seen filming before the lens cap scene.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Transcript for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]

{{MM&BB}}
{{Season4}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:43:09Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{cleanup}}
{{EpInfo|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Titlecard-Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI-The Motion Picture.jpg|67b|4/2004|October 7, 2005|Enemy In-Law|Patrick SmartPants}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|}

'''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: The Motion Picture''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Kelp Thing]]
*The [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club]] (debut)
*Retired Fish
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*Actors for the MM and BB movie
*[[Harold]]
*[[Man Ray]] (mentioned)

===Original Crew for Movie===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Director
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Cameraman
*[[Mermaid Man]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Barnacle Boy]]: Main Character/Protagonist
*[[Kelp Thing]]: Main Antagonist
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl]] on wheels: Invisible Boat Mobile
*[[Nat Peterson]]: Invisible Boat Mobile puller
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]: Boom Operator
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]: Stunts and Explosives Handler
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Make-up Artist

===Plot===
SpongeBob and Patrick are at a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fan club meeting, where they learn a new movie will be made based on the heroes but they find that the movie's versions of MM and BB are played by younger actors much to SpongeBob's and Patrick's dismay. When SpongeBob and Patrick wants the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy to play in the movie, they tell the club members that they must boycott the movie, but he and Patrick just get thrown out of the building. Instead, the boys go to Shady Shoals and tell Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy that [[Drippy Brothers Studio]] is making a movie about them with new actors. The heroes find the news horrible. Patrick suggests they make their own movie. Everybody likes the idea.

After coming up with ideas, SpongeBob and the crew (Sandy Cheeks, Pearl Krabs, Eugene H. Krabs, Patrick, Squidward Tentacles, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) meet to make the movie. SpongeBob is in charge of the movie. Squidward, the makeup artist, prepares the actors for the movie. Sandy is in charge of using the dynamite for explosion scenes. Mr. Krabs will cater the crew while Pearl is the leading lady. Patrick is the cameraman and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are the stars. Plankton auditions for [[ManRay]], but can't have the part because the villain's not in the movie, so he works the boom microphone instead. Mermaid Man has trouble with one of his lines and it takes 5,003 takes to get it right until Plankton accidentally shoves the boom into his mouth.

A scene is filmed where Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ride their [[The Invisible Boat Mobile|Invisible Boat Mobile]] (Pearl as the boat mobile) to Kelp-Thing's hideout. Pearl is too heavy to pull, so Nat, who is pulling her, speeds off the mountain, crashing into the sets. Patrick filmed it with the lens cap on, and with everything destroyed; there is no footage of the movie. SpongeBob, who goes berserk, knows the movie is ruined. Mermaid Man convinces him to finish the movie and goes on.

Mr. Krabs has a premiere night for SpongeBob's production in his restaurant, hoping to make a bundle from the movie. The leader of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club does pay a lot of money to buy 200 tickets on opening night, but only because the Drippy Bros. production is sold out before the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie can be seen. The entire fan club (except SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) does not like it because it looks like an old timey movie, is about two minutes in length, when it cuts for a bit while Mermaid Man is talking (when Mermaid Man is supposed to say "You can't do that! It's forbidden.", he instead says "You can't do that-forbidden.", and instead of saying "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!", Mermaid Man says "Mermaid Man- 'Click!' -narnacleboy Unite!"), and when it shows Sandy doing the stunts. However, Mermaid Man is glad that SpongeBob proved he and Barnacle Boy had "action" left in their old bones.

==Associated Production Music==
{{APM-link|K|Killer Birds}} - Gregor F. Narholz (SpongeBob starting to exaggerate)

{{APM-link|R|Ramblin Man from Gramblin}} - Sam Spence (Action Scene)

==Trivia/Goofs==
*In some close-up scenes of SpongeBob, he appears more green than yellow.
*[[Drippy Brothers Studio|Drippy Brothers Studios]] are a parody of Warner Bros. Studios.
*The [[Patty Vault]] appears in the final film.
*Mermaid Man gets a boom microphone stuck in his mouth. Ironically, John Kricfalusi had to redo a similar gag from a Ren and Stimpy episode only a decade before because Nick censors felt it looked too suggestive.
*This is the only episode in the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy mini-series to have a title card that is different from the usual title card.
*[[Mermaid Man's Belt]] is purple for the first time since Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV.
*The movie SpongeBob and Patrick made mentions a place called Fort Lox. The name is a spoof on the real-life Fort Knox, which houses tons of gold.
*Plankton is wearing Man Ray's helmet in small size.
*In every movie Mr. Krabs participates in, he wants the plot to involve Krabby Patties being stolen by somebody.
*During the "Bingo" scene, the announcer said, "A-29", even though there is no "A" in "Bingo". Although it could be a slurred "I".
*When SpongeBob said "it's 'stolen Krabby Patties'." for the first time, his right eye enlarges a bit.
*The lens cap suddenly appeared on the camera lens, easily known from when Patrick is seen filming before the lens cap scene.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Transcript for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]

{{MM&BB}}
{{Season4}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Episode Transcript: Enemy In-Law

2022-11-28T00:41:18Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Dunces and Dragons|Dunces and Dragons]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Enemy In-Law (Episode)|Enemy In-Law]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (cameo)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Karen]]
*[[Mama Krabs]]
*[[Nat Peterson]]

==Dialogue==

(Everyone screams and points at the Plankton robot as it grabs a handful of people in each hand and drops them inside the Chum Bucket). 

Plankton: (everyone running around inside) Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches,
you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. (everyone stops in their tracks) 

Nat Peterson : What?! You mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food? 

Plankton: C'mon, it's a standard marketing technique. 

Nat Peterson: You little twerp. 

Plankton: Hey! 

Karen: He's right, ya know. 

Plankton: Karen?! You think I'm a twerp? 

Karen: Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping. 

Plankton: Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes. 

Karen: Maybe it's because you are always wrong. 

Plankton: Fine, I'm wrong and you're right. 

Karen: You said it, not me. 

Plankton: (walking away) Why did I ever install that nagging software? 

Karen: Nagging software? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen! 

Mr Krabs: Oh, money. You're always there for me. (kissing noisily) 

Mama Krabs: Hello, Eugene. 

Mr. Krabs: Mother! What brings you by today? 

Mama Krabs: I just wanted to see my favorite son. 

Mr. Krabs: How much of my money do you want? 

Mama Krabs: Well, I did see the prettiest hat in town today. 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, look at the time! So sorry to have to rush off. Bye, bye! (pushes Mama Krabs out his office and closes his door) Whew, that was a close one. 

Plankton: Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman--not a girl in a cold hard shell. (Plankton hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope and through it we can see a real crab in the ocean) Such beauty. She's an angel; and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart. 

Karen: Plankton?! You've fallen in love with another woman? I'm your wife! 

Plankton: You're a W.I.F.E.: Wired Integratred Female Elecrtoencephalograph. 

Karen: Oh, you always pull that one out! "You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!" 

Plankton: Aah! Why don't you have an 'off' switch. (sees an off switch) 

Karen: Plankton, don't you dare... (turns off) 

Plankton: And now to woo that beloved creature. (cut to Mama Krabs taking a nap while Robot Plankton is looking through her window. Then the robot grabs her) 

Robot Plankton: Roses are red. Violets are blue. World domination has nothing on you. 

Mama Krabs: '''''AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!'''''

Plankton: Hmm, I guess she's not a poetry fan. (everyone is running around screaming while the robot is using its eye laser to spell out "I (heart) You" on the ground, but while destroying some of the town when doing this. Mama Krabs reads it and screams a few times) Poetry, love notes--nothing's working. Maybe something personal. (Mama Krabs is shrieking. The roboto walks over to a rock and karate chops a memorial-like statue of Mama Krabs' head) 

Mama Krabs: Am I really that pretty? 

Plankton: Oh, yeah...I am smooth. (cut to later in his restaurant by a phone) Just dial the number and ask her to dinner. C'mon, you can do this. (dial tones beeping; Plankton grunting). 

Mama Krabs: Hello? (Plankton grunting in the phone) I'm hanging up. 

Plankton: Wait! It's your secret admirer. 

Mama Krabs: Oh, you're that giant robot? 

Plankton: (laughing) No. I program the robot. Did you enjoy the gift I sent you? 

Mama Krabs: How did you know I wanted a hat? Have you been spying on me? (6 TV screens are set-up to in different parts of Mama Krabs house) 

Plankton: It was...just a lucky guess. I've admired you from afar for far too long, my angel. We must meet face-to-face. 

Mama Krabs: Well, how about the Krusty Krab tonight at 8? 

Plankton: Sounds wonderful. I'll be the tall fellow wearing a red carnation. Until tonight, my dear. (cut to Mama Krabs walking into the Krusty Krab) 

Mr. Krabs: Ah! Quick, SpongeBob, swallow me wallet! 

SpongeBob: Ok. (Mr. Krabs shoves his wallet in SpongeBob's mouth and SpongeBob swallows it). 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, sorry, mommy. I can't lend you any money. SpongeBob accidentally swallowed me wallet. (sniffs his mother's hat) Mommy, you got yourself a hat without my financial assistance. 

Mama Krabs: Isn't it nice, Eugene? It's just the one I wanted. 

Mr. Krabs: But, mommy, you shouldn't be spending my inheritence...I mean, since you told me you wanted a hat, I dug one up. (takes out a hat with holes in it) 

Mama Krabs: Where did you get this old thing? (at a funeral where two fish are paying their respects to the person in the coffin) 

Fish #1: She looks so peaceful. 

Squidward: Yeah, No Was't admirer get this old oh hat mommy.

Fish #2: Yeah, but wasn't she wearing a hat? (Mr. Krabs is seen running out with the hat) 

Mama Krabs: You can take this one back to the trash heap. 

Mr. Krabs: Yes, mommy. (tosses hat and shovel to Squidward) Squidward, make a return for me. 

Mama Krabs: Thank ye for your concern for my finances, but me new boyfriend bought me this hat. 

Mr. Krabs: Boyfriend? Someone to spend money...time with you? That's wonderful! Who is he? What's his name? 

Mama Krabs: I don't know. I'm meeting him here, tonight. 

Mr. Krabs: Wonderful! I'll stay open late so ye can have a nice, romantic dinner. Run along, make yourself pretty. SpongeBob, you're working late tonight. No overtime! (SpongeBob lunges himself into the door.)

SpongeBob: Ah! (Cut to a rose walking into the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is in a waiter uniform) 

Plankton: (clears throat) I've reservations for two, tonight. 

SpongeBob: Right this way, sir. (SpongeBob pulls back the chair for Plankton as he jumps up on it) 
Plankton: (shouts) Excuse me, I can't reach my silverware! 

SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. (reaches into his pocket and takes out a miniature table & chair. Places it on top of the big table then grabs Plankton and places him in the chair) Will there be anything else? 

Plankton: Is my tie on straight? 

SpongeBob: You look FABULOUS! (Mama Krabs walks in) Your gentlemen caller awaits. (Mama Krabs walks up to the table) 

Plankton: (pulls rose away from his body) Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight. (Mama Krabs notices tiny Plankton) 

Mama Krabs: Oh, my, you're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. Tell me about yourself. (sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her) 

Plankton: Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restauranteur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket. 

Mama Krabs: Never heard of it. 

Plankton: It's across the street. 

Mama Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell. 

Plankton: It's on the back of the phone book. C'mon, I paid a lot of money for that ad! Never mind. Never mind. I'd like to hear about you. 

Mama Krabs: Well... 

Mr. Krabs: Plankton! 

Plankton: Krabs! 

Mama Krabs: Eugene! 

Mr. Krabs: Mommy? 

Plankton: "Mommy?" 

SpongeBob: (jumps in the air) SpongeBob! 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob... 

Plankton: This delectable creature is your mother? 

Mr. Krabs: This no-good conniving chiseler is your date? 

SpongeBob: And this handsome sponge is your waiter. 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! I don't know what sort of skullduggery you're up to, Plankton, and I'm not waiting to find out. (picks up Plankton by his antenna) 

Mama Krabs: Eugene, you put me boyfriend down, this instant! 

Plankton: Boyfriend? 

Mr. Krabs: But, mommy... 

Plankton: You heard the lady. Let me go. (Mr. Krabs drops him into Mama Krabs hand) 

Plankton: That's more like it. 

Mama Krabs: Come, Plankton. I'm sorry me son had to spoil our romantic evening. 

Mr. Krabs: Mommy? (cut to Plankton cleaning a picture of Mama Krabs then in walks Mr. Krabs) You! 

Plankton: Eugene. 

Mr. Krabs: I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to. 

Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman. 

Mr. Krabs: All you love is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formuler out of me mother. 

Plankton: What are you talking about? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula! 

Plankton: Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula? 

Mr. Krabs: Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe. And you're not family! (Plankton frowns) I'm telling you for the last time: stay away from me mother. (walks out) 

Plankton: Not family, eh? Well, I can fix that. (cut to Mama Krabs walking into the Krusty Krab) 

Mama Krabs: Eugene. 

Mr. Krabs: Mommy. 

Mama Krabs: What did I tell ye about interfering in me life? 

Mr. Krabs: Mommy, can't you see? He's trying to seduce the Krabby Patty formula from you. 

Mama Krabs: For your information, Eugene, he hasn't asked me once about the formula. I doubt that he even knows that I know it. 

Mr. Krabs: (chuckles) Uh, yeah...funny thing about that. 

Mama Krabs: I forbid ye to interfere in me private business. Go to your office, now! 

Mr. Krabs: Yes, mommy. (walks into his office). 

Plankton: Somebody call heaven, I think an angel's gone missing. 

Mama Krabs: Oh, Sheldon. 

Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, brother. 

Plankton: Attention, everyone. I'd like to make an announcement. Mrs Krabs, in full view of this restaurant, I ask you for your hand in holy matrimony. 

Crowd: Aww! 

Plankton: Would you marry me? (big diamond ring shown up close) 

Mr. Krabs: Aah, that's it! No more hiding in my room like a scared little kid. It's time to act like a man! (pretends to jump at Plankton) 

Plankton: Gasp! 

Mr. Krabs: (jumps in his mother's lap) Please don't marry him, mommy! Don't marry this bad, bad man! I don't want you to! 

Plankton: Too late Krabsy. We're going to be married. And you're going to be my new son! (laughs maniacally. Mama Krabs hands the ring back to Plankton) Huh? What's this, honey bunch? 

Mama Krabs: I am flattered by your offer, really I am, but I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment. 

Mr. Krabs: Hah!

Plankton: What is this? There's somebody else, isn't there? (Robot Plankton stomping thunderously) 

Robot Plankton: I...this is very uncomfortable. I'll just wait in the car. 

Plankton: I don't believe this! You led me on! 

Mama Krabs: Now, now, Plankton, it's not what ye think. 

Plankton: I don't want to hear your lies! You owe me for leading me on like this! Give me the Krabby Patty formula and we'll call it even. 

Mama Krabs: The formula? Is that what this whole thing was about? 

Plankton: No, no, not really. I mean, not at first. I mean uh...honey bunch? Uh-oh. (Mama Krabs shows her muscles, which show as ships cannons. She punches Plankton back to the Chum Bucket) Oh, well, 'tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all! (Plankton ends up flying into the ON switch of Karen) 

Karen: Working. 

Plankton: So, you've decided to come crawling back to me, huh? 

Karen: (A laser machine comes down) What did you say? 

Plankton: (chuckles nervously) Nothing, dear. 

Karen: (zaps him and Plankton screams) Yeah, that's what I thought you said, honey bunch. (Plankton groans).

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm

2022-11-28T00:38:25Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Squid on Strike|Squid on Strike]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Algae's Always Greener| The Algae's Always Greener]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (Episode)|Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm]]

==Characters==
*[[French Narrator|French Narrator]]
*[[Alaskan Bull Worm|Alaskan Bull Worm]] (debut)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]

==Dialogue==
'''French Narrator''': Ahh, another peaceful evening in Bikini Bottom. Listen to the tropical tranquility. (we see the town of Bikini Bottom; something underground is tunneling and consumes the Bikini Bottom sign) Uh-oh. (the tunneling thing moves on to the rest of Bikini Bottom; a cop is writing a ticket for a car parked near a fire hydrant; the thing, still invisible, makes eating noises; we then see that the car has disappeared, so the cop picks up the fire hydrant, moves it to the adjacent car, and places the ticket on that car, whistling as he walks away; the thing moves on to SpongeBob's house; Gary wakes up, sees the thing, and meows in terror; SpongeBob is still fast asleep) 

'''SpongeBob''': (mumbling, half-asleep) Trick-or-treat. Thank you. (the thing takes SpongeBob's blanket) You keep the change.
(the thing takes SpongeBob's pillow) What? (wakes up fully and stares fixedly at the thing in terror; cut to show half of the pineapple house's walls missing. New scene shows SpongeBob talking to a crowd at the Krusty Krab) I saw it! It was big! It was all wiggly! And it ate everything!

'''Patrick''': That's horrible. (gobbles down a whole tray of food, containers and all)

'''SpongeBob''': It was an Alaskan....Bull....Worm! (each of the three words appears on screen; crowd murmurs worriedly)

'''Fred''': He ate my wheelbarrow! (he has his wheelbarrow with a bite taken out of it)

'''Nancy''': He ate my children's homework! (her two kids wink simultaneously and give a big thumbs-up)

'''Southwestern Fish''': (has a huge bite taken out of his butt) Do I need to say it?

'''Fish 4''': (crowd murmurs some more) How can we protect ourselves?

'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got it! Let's all buy a Krabby Patty! (crowd boos and throws ketchup and mustard bottles at him)

'''Fish 5''': We should lock our doors!

'''Fish 6''': We should call my nephew!

'''Fish 7''': We should dig a moat!

'''Patrick''': We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else! (crowd immediately quiets down)

'''Squidward''': That idea may just be crazy enough... to get us all killed!! (crowd resumes fretting)

'''Fred''': Let's get someone to go after it!

'''Mr. Krabs''': There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Alaskan Bull Worm! (a horrible screeching noise is heard; the
crowd cringes. We see a scary-looking old guy in a raincoat with a hook for a hand, scraping it on the window of the
Krusty Krab; he stops. This is a homage to the 1975 film ''Jaws'')

'''Raincoat Fish''': You got a bathroom in this place?

'''Mr. Krabs''': (looks slightly peeved) In the back.

'''Raincoat Fish''': (legs wobble) Thanks. (runs for it)

'''Sandy''': (under a wide-brimmed cowboy hat) I'll catch your worm for ya, that is, if'n you're willing to pay! (tips brim up)

'''Mr. Krabs''': No! You'll never get a cent out of me! (runs to block the cash register with his body) Never! I'd rather
that worm come in here right now and eat you all alive! (begins foaming at the mouth; the crowd looks at him strangely;
he calms down) Sorry.

'''Sandy''': (laughs good-naturedly) Aw shucks. I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment, is all.
(Mr. Krabs chuckles, which gradually turns into crying; Sandy continues) Nope. I'm gonna take that spineless critter down
for nothing, 'cause this is personal. Look. My tail's gone! (she shows them; crowd gasps) Varmint must've got it while I
had my back turned, the coward! (crowd sympathizes) I am gonna get back what's mine! (crowd cheers)

'''SpongeBob''': (looks alarmed) What? But Sandy, you don't know what you're up against. We're talking about an ALASKAN...
BULL... WORM!!! (the three words appear on screen)

'''Sandy''': Well, I don't know nothing about Alaska, but looky here. (pulls out a wallet with pictures) Back in Texas, I
wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. (we see pictures of a real-life squirrel with a lasso around a bull, then a lasso
around a worm) Far as I'm concerned, doing 'em both together just saves rope. Now I'm gonna go kick me some worm tail!
Yee-haw! (runs to the doors of the Krusty Krab; the crowd goes wild)

'''SpongeBob''': But Sandy, you don't know!

'''Sandy''': Don't worry, SpongeBob. I won't be long. (leaves)

'''SpongeBob''': (chases after her) Sandy! Sandy!

'''Mr. Krabs''': (amidst the still-cheering crowd) Go get 'em, Sandy! We have the utmost confidence in you! (crowd stops; Mr.
Krabs turns to Patrick) Now, what was that idea of yours?

'''Patrick''': (new scene shows all the citizens trying to push the buildings of Bikini Bottom; screams) PUSH! (cuts back to SpongeBob chasing after Sandy)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait! Sandy!

'''Sandy''': Hey, SpongeBob, you coming to watch?

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, don't go!

'''Sandy''': Why not?

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I saw it! It's big... scary... and pink! (each word appears on the screen)

'''Sandy''': So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that neither!

'''SpongeBob''': You'll get massacred! (collapses into sponge-cubes)

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, I'm from Texas. What you think is big and what I think is big are two totally different "big"s. Besides, he's got my tail. I can't take that sitting down.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, but what if the worm didn't take your tail?

'''Sandy''': If that worm ain't got my tail, who does?

'''SpongeBob''': (unconvincingly) Um, I do?

'''Sandy''': You do? Where?

'''SpongeBob''': Um... in my pocket.

'''Sandy''': Well, why didn't you just say so? Give it here! Come on! (SpongeBob looks nervous, pulls something from his
pocket, and opens his hand) SpongeBob, that's a paper clip and a piece of string.

'''SpongeBob''': (shakes head) No, it's not. This is your tail.

'''Sandy''': (annoyed) SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (defensively; tearing up) How would you know?! It's always behind you! Oh, don't go, don't go, don't go! (jumps onto the front of Sandy's air helmet and hugs it)

'''Sandy''': (pulls him off) SpongeBob, what is the matter with you? Now, I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-for, and
there ain't nothing you can say to stop me! (resumes walking)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh yeah? What if I said.... 'blargen fedibble no-hip'?

'''Sandy''': (stops) Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down, but I'm still going for him! (continues)

'''SpongeBob''': (appears next to Sandy as she strides along) You know, tails are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and
go home. (Sandy keeps walking; SpongeBob reappears) I've got ice cream! With nuts... (Sandy continues; SpongeBob appears
once more, this time with a goofy squirrel mask on his face) Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you to go
after this worm! Y'all come back here, young lady!

'''Sandy''': You ain't my pa!

'''SpongeBob''': (stands in front of her with boxing gloves) Sandy, if you want to get to that worm, you're gonna have to go
through me! (Sandy pushes through his body as if walking through a pair of swinging doors; he grabs her ankles, crying)
Sandy, no! I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed. If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure!

'''Sandy''': Ain't no way some dumb old sea worm's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too Texas tough!

'''SpongeBob''': (still crying and holding onto her ankles) No, not tough enough. Not tough enough!

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, quit your worrying. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom?
(she grabs an anchor and pulls a boat down from the surface)

'''SpongeBob''': You are.

'''Sandy''': And who put the hi-yah, hi, ho, "K" in karate? (makes a K shape)

'''SpongeBob''': (makes a U shape) You did.

'''Sandy''': And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?

'''SpongeBob''': (his butt has "Property of Sandy Cheeks" printed on it) You do.

'''Sandy''': Right. And I can handle your little bull worm too, 'cause I am the best there is! There ain't nothin' too big or
too ornery for me to catch.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay.

'''Sandy''': Say it.

'''SpongeBob''': There isn't anything...

'''Sandy''': Ain't nothin'!

'''SpongeBob''': (in a high-pitched voice like Sandy) Ain't nothin' (normal voice) too big or too ornery for you to catch.
But... (Sandy cuts him off) But... (cuts him off again) And... (cuts him off again) We... (cuts him off again) I... (cuts
him off again) Yeah but...

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': You see...

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': I... (Sandy cuts him off one last time with a frustrated groan)

'''Sandy''': (picks up some sand from the ground as if tracking an animal and sniffs it) Worm sign. (holds a small sign in
her palm that has "WORM" painted on it; looks up) He's in that cave.

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, are you sure you...?

'''Sandy''': Course I am! I'm going in, and I ain't coming out 'til I got me a big heaping plate of wormy stew. (she walks into
the cave; SpongeBob hides behind a rock and shudders; we hear Sandy inside the cave) Aha! There you are, you tail-nabbin'
varmint! Hi-yah! (we hear karate noises; Sandy peeks out of the cave) I'm winnin', SpongeBob! (resumes fighting)

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, that's not...! (more fighting noises; Sandy peeks out again)

'''Sandy''': This shouldn't take long. (resumes fighting)

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, that's not...!

'''Sandy''': Almost done!

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy!

'''Sandy''': Yee-haw! (comes out riding a pink segmented thing) I got him, SpongeBob! (makes a giant knot and stands on it
proudly)

'''SpongeBob''': (still uneasy) Sandy...?

'''Sandy''': Boy, howdy. This critter put up some sort of fight. But I'm from Texas, and as you can see, no wormy is a match for
me. I even found my tail! (we see that she has tied the fur to the small remainder of her tail)

'''SpongeBob''': That's not the worm.

'''Sandy''': Pardon?

'''SpongeBob''': That's not the worm. That's his tongue. (camera zooms out to show that SpongeBob is right; the opening of the
cave is actually the worm's open mouth; his eyes make a squishy blinking noise)

'''Sandy''': Ohhhh. This is the tongue, and... (trailing off) the whole thing... is the... worm. (freaks out) '''RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!''' (they sprint away; the worm growls angrily, chomps down, and chases after them)

'''SpongeBob''': So what's the plan, Sandy? (they look back and see that the worm is approaching faster)

'''Sandy''': Run faster!!

'''SpongeBob''': I could've thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?!

'''Sandy''': Later!

'''SpongeBob''': Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?

'''Sandy''': Not now, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': I wanna hear you say it!

'''Sandy''': Can we talk about this another time?

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it, or I'll trip you! (he continues running on one foot, the other poised to trip Sandy)

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': Not now!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': Okay! You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are you happy now?

'''SpongeBob''': (devilishly) I knew it. (the worm emits another huge growl, prompting the two to run even faster; they run up
and down a sand mound, which the worm plows right through. They run past Fish 3, who is leaning over under his car's
hood; his butt is bandaged up. The worm passes by and takes another bite out of him)

'''Southwestern Fish''': Not again!

'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Sandy?

'''Sandy''': Yeah?

'''SpongeBob''': What do we do now?

'''Sandy''': (panting and sweating; the worm growls again. Sees the seemingly endless coral trees in front of them)
I've got it! SpongeBob, you still got that paper clip and that string?

'''SpongeBob''': I'm way ahead of you, Sandy. (fashions a necklace out of them) Look, it's a necklace! S for "SpongeBob" or S
for "Sandy"! That way they can identify our bodies.

'''Sandy''': No, silly! How about S for "save our skins"? (takes the string and uses the hook of the paper clip to wrap the
string around one of the coral trees; she grabs SpongeBob and swings them up and over the branch onto the worm back) Yee-haw! Now this is what I call a rodeo! We'll be nice and safe up here. (the worm starts to plow off a cliff like a
runaway train; Sandy and SpongeBob realize this, scream, and begin running toward the end of the worm to the safety of the
plateau. They jump off safely as the worm falls off the cliff) We did it!

'''SpongeBob''': Yay! He'll never get out of there!

'''Sandy''': We saved the town!

'''SpongeBob''': Yay! Let's go tell everybody! (new scene shows all the citizens still trying to push Bikini Bottom to safety;
the city is now in the valley at the bottom of the cliff)

'''Patrick''': PUSH! (screams) PUSH!

'''Citizens''': Hooray!! (the worm, which is still falling, lands on the city and smashes it to bits)

'''Worm''': Ouch.....

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm

2022-11-28T00:38:04Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

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Episode Article: [[Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (Episode)|Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm]]

==Characters==
*[[French Narrator|French Narrator]]
*[[Alaskan Bull Worm|Alaskan Bull Worm]] (debut)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]

==Dialogue==
'''French Narrator''': Ahh, another peaceful evening in Bikini Bottom. Listen to the tropical tranquility. (we see the town of Bikini Bottom; something underground is tunneling and consumes the Bikini Bottom sign) Uh-oh. (the tunneling thing moves on to the rest of Bikini Bottom; a cop is writing a ticket for a car parked near a fire hydrant; the thing, still invisible, makes eating noises; we then see that the car has disappeared, so the cop picks up the fire hydrant, moves it to the adjacent car, and places the ticket on that car, whistling as he walks away; the thing moves on to SpongeBob's house; Gary wakes up, sees the thing, and meows in terror; SpongeBob is still fast asleep) 

'''SpongeBob''': (mumbling, half-asleep) Trick-or-treat. Thank you. (the thing takes SpongeBob's blanket) You keep the change.
(the thing takes SpongeBob's pillow) What? (wakes up fully and stares fixedly at the thing in terror; cut to show half of the pineapple house's walls missing. New scene shows SpongeBob talking to a crowd at the Krusty Krab) I saw it! It was big! It was all wiggly! And it ate everything!

'''Patrick''': That's horrible. (gobbles down a whole tray of food, containers and all)

'''SpongeBob''': It was an Alaskan....Bull....Worm! (each of the three words appears on screen; crowd murmurs worriedly)

'''Fred''': He ate my wheelbarrow! (he has his wheelbarrow with a bite taken out of it)

'''Nancy''': He ate my children's homework! (her two kids wink simultaneously and give a big thumbs-up)

'''Southwestern Fish''': (has a huge bite taken out of his butt) Do I need to say it?

'''Fish 4''': (crowd murmurs some more) How can we protect ourselves?

'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got it! Let's all buy a Krabby Patty! (crowd boos and throws ketchup and mustard bottles at him)

'''Fish 5''': We should lock our doors!

'''Fish 6''': We should call my nephew!

'''Fish 7''': We should dig a moat!

'''Patrick''': We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else! (crowd immediately quiets down)

'''Squidward''': That idea may just be crazy enough... to get us all killed!! (crowd resumes fretting)

'''Fred''': Let's get someone to go after it!

'''Mr. Krabs''': There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Alaskan Bull Worm! (a horrible screeching noise is heard; the
crowd cringes. We see a scary-looking old guy in a raincoat with a hook for a hand, scraping it on the window of the
Krusty Krab; he stops. This is a homage to the 1975 film ''Jaws'')

'''Raincoat Fish''': You got a bathroom in this place?

'''Mr. Krabs''': (looks slightly peeved) In the back.

'''Raincoat Fish''': (legs wobble) Thanks. (runs for it)

'''Sandy''': (under a wide-brimmed cowboy hat) I'll catch your worm for ya, that is, if'n you're willing to pay! (tips brim up)

'''Mr. Krabs''': No! You'll never get a cent out of me! (runs to block the cash register with his body) Never! I'd rather
that worm come in here right now and eat you all alive! (begins foaming at the mouth; the crowd looks at him strangely;
he calms down) Sorry.

'''Sandy''': (laughs good-naturedly) Aw shucks. I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment, is all.
(Mr. Krabs chuckles, which gradually turns into crying; Sandy continues) Nope. I'm gonna take that spineless critter down
for nothing, 'cause this is personal. Look. My tail's gone! (she shows them; crowd gasps) Varmint must've got it while I
had my back turned, the coward! (crowd sympathizes) I am gonna get back what's mine! (crowd cheers)

'''SpongeBob''': (looks alarmed) What? But Sandy, you don't know what you're up against. We're talking about an ALASKAN...
BULL... WORM!!! (the three words appear on screen)

'''Sandy''': Well, I don't know nothing about Alaska, but looky here. (pulls out a wallet with pictures) Back in Texas, I
wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. (we see pictures of a real-life squirrel with a lasso around a bull, then a lasso
around a worm) Far as I'm concerned, doing 'em both together just saves rope. Now I'm gonna go kick me some worm tail!
Yee-haw! (runs to the doors of the Krusty Krab; the crowd goes wild)

'''SpongeBob''': But Sandy, you don't know!

'''Sandy''': Don't worry, SpongeBob. I won't be long. (leaves)

'''SpongeBob''': (chases after her) Sandy! Sandy!

'''Mr. Krabs''': (amidst the still-cheering crowd) Go get 'em, Sandy! We have the utmost confidence in you! (crowd stops; Mr.
Krabs turns to Patrick) Now, what was that idea of yours?

'''Patrick''': (new scene shows all the citizens trying to push the buildings of Bikini Bottom; screams) PUSH! (cuts back to SpongeBob chasing after Sandy)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait! Sandy!

'''Sandy''': Hey, SpongeBob, you coming to watch?

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, don't go!

'''Sandy''': Why not?

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I saw it! It's big... scary... and pink! (each word appears on the screen)

'''Sandy''': So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that neither!

'''SpongeBob''': You'll get massacred! (collapses into sponge-cubes)

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, I'm from Texas. What you think is big and what I think is big are two totally different "big"s. Besides, he's got my tail. I can't take that sitting down.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, but what if the worm didn't take your tail?

'''Sandy''': If that worm ain't got my tail, who does?

'''SpongeBob''': (unconvincingly) Um, I do?

'''Sandy''': You do? Where?

'''SpongeBob''': Um... in my pocket.

'''Sandy''': Well, why didn't you just say so? Give it here! Come on! (SpongeBob looks nervous, pulls something from his
pocket, and opens his hand) SpongeBob, that's a paper clip and a piece of string.

'''SpongeBob''': (shakes head) No, it's not. This is your tail.

'''Sandy''': (annoyed) SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (defensively; tearing up) How would you know?! It's always behind you! Oh, don't go, don't go, don't go! (jumps onto the front of Sandy's air helmet and hugs it)

'''Sandy''': (pulls him off) SpongeBob, what is the matter with you? Now, I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-for, and
there ain't nothing you can say to stop me! (resumes walking)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh yeah? What if I said.... 'blargen fedibble no-hip'?

'''Sandy''': (stops) Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down, but I'm still going for him! (continues)

'''SpongeBob''': (appears next to Sandy as she strides along) You know, tails are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and
go home. (Sandy keeps walking; SpongeBob reappears) I've got ice cream! With nuts... (Sandy continues; SpongeBob appears
once more, this time with a goofy squirrel mask on his face) Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you to go
after this worm! Y'all come back here, young lady!

'''Sandy''': You ain't my pa!

'''SpongeBob''': (stands in front of her with boxing gloves) Sandy, if you want to get to that worm, you're gonna have to go
through me! (Sandy pushes through his body as if walking through a pair of swinging doors; he grabs her ankles, crying)
Sandy, no! I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed. If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure!

'''Sandy''': Ain't no way some dumb old sea worm's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too Texas tough!

'''SpongeBob''': (still crying and holding onto her ankles) No, not tough enough. Not tough enough!

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, quit your worrying. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom?
(she grabs an anchor and pulls a boat down from the surface)

'''SpongeBob''': You are.

'''Sandy''': And who put the hi-yah, hi, ho, "K" in karate? (makes a K shape)

'''SpongeBob''': (makes a U shape) You did.

'''Sandy''': And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?

'''SpongeBob''': (his butt has "Property of Sandy Cheeks" printed on it) You do.

'''Sandy''': Right. And I can handle your little bull worm too, 'cause I am the best there is! There ain't nothin' too big or
too ornery for me to catch.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay.

'''Sandy''': Say it.

'''SpongeBob''': There isn't anything...

'''Sandy''': Ain't nothin'!

'''SpongeBob''': (in a high-pitched voice like Sandy) Ain't nothin' (normal voice) too big or too ornery for you to catch.
But... (Sandy cuts him off) But... (cuts him off again) And... (cuts him off again) We... (cuts him off again) I... (cuts
him off again) Yeah but...

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': You see...

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': I... (Sandy cuts him off one last time with a frustrated groan)

'''Sandy''': (picks up some sand from the ground as if tracking an animal and sniffs it) Worm sign. (holds a small sign in
her palm that has "WORM" painted on it; looks up) He's in that cave.

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, are you sure you...?

'''Sandy''': Course I am! I'm going in, and I ain't coming out 'til I got me a big heaping plate of wormy stew. (she walks into
the cave; SpongeBob hides behind a rock and shudders; we hear Sandy inside the cave) Aha! There you are, you tail-nabbin'
varmint! Hi-yah! (we hear karate noises; Sandy peeks out of the cave) I'm winnin', SpongeBob! (resumes fighting)

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, that's not...! (more fighting noises; Sandy peeks out again)

'''Sandy''': This shouldn't take long. (resumes fighting)

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, that's not...!

'''Sandy''': Almost done!

'''SpongeBob''': Sandy!

'''Sandy''': Yee-haw! (comes out riding a pink segmented thing) I got him, SpongeBob! (makes a giant knot and stands on it
proudly)

'''SpongeBob''': (still uneasy) Sandy...?

'''Sandy''': Boy, howdy. This critter put up some sort of fight. But I'm from Texas, and as you can see, no wormy is a match for
me. I even found my tail! (we see that she has tied the fur to the small remainder of her tail)

'''SpongeBob''': That's not the worm.

'''Sandy''': Pardon?

'''SpongeBob''': That's not the worm. That's his tongue. (camera zooms out to show that SpongeBob is right; the opening of the
cave is actually the worm's open mouth; his eyes make a squishy blinking noise)

'''Sandy''': Ohhhh. This is the tongue, and... (trailing off) the whole thing... is the... worm. (freaks out) '''RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!''' (they sprint away; the worm growls angrily, chomps down, and chases after them)

'''SpongeBob''': So what's the plan, Sandy? (they look back and see that the worm is approaching faster)

'''Sandy''': Run faster!!

'''SpongeBob''': I could've thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?!

'''Sandy''': Later!

'''SpongeBob''': Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?

'''Sandy''': Not now, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': I wanna hear you say it!

'''Sandy''': Can we talk about this another time?

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it, or I'll trip you! (he continues running on one foot, the other poised to trip Sandy)

'''Sandy''': No!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': Not now!

'''SpongeBob''': Say it!

'''Sandy''': Okay! You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are you happy now?

'''SpongeBob''': (devilishly) I knew it. (the worm emits another huge growl, prompting the two to run even faster; they run up
and down a sand mound, which the worm plows right through. They run past Fish 3, who is leaning over under his car's
hood; his butt is bandaged up. The worm passes by and takes another bite out of him)

'''Southwestern Fish''': Not again!

'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Sandy?

'''Sandy''': Yeah?

'''SpongeBob''': What do we do now?

'''Sandy''': (panting and sweating; the worm growls again. Sees the seemingly endless coral trees in front of them)
I've got it! SpongeBob, you still got that paper clip and that string?

'''SpongeBob''': I'm way ahead of you, Sandy. (fashions a necklace out of them) Look, it's a necklace! S for "SpongeBob" or S
for "Sandy"! That way they can identify our bodies.

'''Sandy''': No, silly! How about S for "save our skins"? (takes the string and uses the hook of the paper clip to wrap the
string around one of the coral trees; she grabs SpongeBob and swings them up and over the branch onto the worm back) Yee-haw! Now this is what I call a rodeo! We'll be nice and safe up here. (the worm starts to plow off a cliff like a
runaway train; Sandy and SpongeBob realize this, scream, and begin running toward the end of the worm to the safety of the
plateau. They jump off safely as the worm falls off the cliff) We did it!

'''SpongeBob''': Yay! He'll never get out of there!

'''Sandy''': We saved the town!

'''SpongeBob''': Yay! Let's go tell everybody! (new scene shows all the citizens still trying to push Bikini Bottom to safety;
the city is now in the valley at the bottom of the cliff)

'''Patrick''': PUSH! (screams) PUSH!

'''Citizens''': Hooray!! (the worm, which is still falling, lands on the city and smashes it to bits)

'''Worm''': Ouch.....

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Jellyfish Hunter

2022-11-28T00:35:58Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Artist Unknown|Artist Unknown]]
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Episode Article: [[Jellyfish Hunter]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
**Moar Krabs (debut)
*[[No Name]] (debut)
*[[Fred]]
*Businessmen
*French Narrator
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (mentioned)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==
(a jellyfish is flying in the sky)

'''French Narrator''': Jellyfish Fields... ...And where there's jellyfish, there is the jellyfish hunter.

SpongeBob: La La La La, (SpongeBob Catches It) Your'e my twelfth catch of the day. I'm gonna call you "Twelvey." (tickles it) Coochie coochie coo! (it sneezes out some jelly.) Bye Twelvey! (Twelvey stings him. He sees a blue jellyfish.) It's you!
Well It's Just You and Me Again, I Caught Him Name In The Jellyfish Field The Lease Once Except You Know Name. (he tries to catch it. He runs. He steps on a soda can. He then runs so fast he flies.) Gotcha! (he is unsuccessful at catching it) Someday I'm gonna catch you and I will name you! 

(cut to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Time for my lunch break! 

Mr. Krabs: You've got 5 minutes! 

SpongeBob: Wow! One minute more than yesterday! SpongeBob on lunch! (he takes out his jar of jelly and a Krabby Patty. He starts eating it.) 

Fred: Hey, buddy! What's that? 

SpongeBob: Oh, this is a hole, sir. You see, I am a sponge, and... 

Fred: No, not that! That! (points to his jelly patty) 

SpongeBob: Oh, this is just a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly! I call it a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly. 

Fred: Could I try some? 

SpongeBob: Sure! (gives Fred some) 

Fred: Amazing! I've got to tell someone about this. 

Music: [[Hey All You People]]

Hey all you people,
Hey all you people,
Hey all you people won't you listen to me--?

I just had a sandwich,
No ordinary sandwich,
A sandwich filled with jellyfish jelly--...

Hey, man!, you've got to try this sandwich!
It's no ordinary sandwich!
It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea--...
(scats) Yeah...Thank you

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, who's playing Squidwards records again? 

SpongeBob: No-one Mr. Krabs.I'm just sharing my jellyfish jelly with the customers.(showing some fish eating jelly pattys.)Here you go Mr. Krabs. Send your taste buds on a journey. 

(Mr. Krabs sniffs the patty.)

Mr. Krabs: Messing with the patty's formula, thats mutany! 

Fred: Sir, this is the best thing I've ever tasted. I'm coming here everyday for the rest of my life.(A bill with Fred appears in it.)Hey, buddy, you okay? 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, how about you get me some of those moneyfish? 

SpongeBob: Wow. Getting paid to jellyfish. That's my life's dream! 

Mr. Krabs: Well keep dreaming.(Mr. Krabs gives him a jellyfish net.)This is on your time. Now go get me some jellyfish, and make it (SpongeBob holds up a jellyfish in a jar.)...quick. SpongeBob I'm gonna need more than 1 jellyfish. 

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, how many jellyfish do you need? 

SpongeBob: (jellyfishing with many nets. He then shows up with three jars.) Here you go, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (painting a sign saying "Home of the Jelly Patty") I'm gonna need more than that, boy! 

SpongeBob: (cuts a rope. Many jellyfish are inside it. He shows up wuth five jars) More jellies, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (painting jellyfish on the walls of the Krusty Krab with the words "I Love Jellyfish" on his shirt) Oh, that'll never do. More! 

SpongeBob: (has a moustache on. a sign next to a jellyfish hive reading "FOR RENT" is shown. Jellyfish come in. They are trapped in a large net.) Here you go! 

Mr. Krabs: (customers are lined up) More, SpongeBob! 

(SpongeBob is driving a large replica of himself. Its hand shows up at the Krusty Krab with a jar full of jellyfish.)

Mr. Krabs: What don't you understand about..."more!" 

(Many SpongeBobs catch jellyfish.)

Mr. Krabs: More!

(cut to a montage of Mr. Krabs shouting "More!" and SpongeBob catching jellyfish. Cut to night. A sign reading "Jellyfish Fields: Population Million is seen. The word "4 Million" is crossed out.) 

SpongeBob: Well, there's no more! Now, that's jellyfishing! 

(No Name is secretly follows him)

SpongeBob: It feels like somebody...wants to sell me something! 

Businessman: (hiding behind rock with another businessman) I told you he was onto us! 

SpongeBob: (running away) I'm not interested in anything you're selling! (opens the door to his house and gets in) I sure felt like...(laughs) I must be working too hard. (telephone rings) I'll get it, there! Hello, SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob speaking. 

No Name: (breathing) 

SpongeBob: (laughing nervously) Wrong number. (No Name morphs into a pliers and cuts SpongeBob's fuse and the lights go out. SpongeBob laughs nervously) I guess Gary forgot to pay the electric bill! (door opens and a small, black figure comes in) Gary? Gary, is that you? (the figure goes inside the kitchen) Yeah, good idea, Gary, there's probably some left overs in the kitchen! (light shines on a Krabby Patty with blue jellyfish jelly) Hello, what's this? What are you doing here, oh delicious one? A little snack will calm my nerves! Mmm...a Krabby Patty with blue jelly. Blue jelly! (No Name shows up) Hey, old No Name? What's happening? 

No Name: (buzzing, show's a net and jar) 

SpongeBob: Let me out! What are you gonna do with me? Eew! What smells like big business? (No Name shows a factory) Hey, I don't remember that factory! (No Name shows him the inside) Huh? (Jellyfish are inside tubes. They are being sucked of their jelly. The dried out ones are put in trash cans.) What is this horrible place? (a robot is tickling a jellyfish) 

Robot: Coochie coochie coo. (jellyfish sneezes) 

SpongeBob: What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?

Mr. Krabs: (on an exercising machine) That's it, boys! Keep that gelatinnous gold mine flowing! (laughs) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? No! Now I know why you brought me here. But what can we do? (Mr. Krabs is listening to a song. SpongeBob breaks in riding on No Name) Mr. Krabs! Stop this madness right now! 

Mr. Krabs: Uh...uh...This...This isn't what it looks like! We're having a...um...um....a little tea party! 

SpongeBob: Oh, boy! A tea party! (No Name touches him) You tricked me, Mr. Krabs! I never would have collected all this jellyfish if I knew this was their fate! This isn't right! Jellyfish should be wild and safe in fresh air!

Mr. Krabs: Easy boy, what are you doing with that? 

SpongeBob: (holding an alligator wrench) Now I'm gonna do something that should have been done a long time ago! 

Mr. Krabs: No! 

SpongeBob: The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy! 

Mr. Krabs: (relieved) 

SpongeBob: And now I'm gonna set these jellyfish free! (tries to open it but is unsuccessful) 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Well, you can't. The door's voice-activated and will only open if I say "open". (closes his mouth. The sign on the door lights the words "OPEN" and the jellyfish escape)

SpongeBob: Freedom! Freedom! 

Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me! (He pedals but the exercising machine is bolted to the ground) Blasted exercise craze! (jellyfish sting him and he screams in pain) 

SpongeBob: (jellyfish escape out the doors) Goodbye, friends! 

Mr. Krabs: I'm taking jelly off the menu. 

SpongeBob: He really got burned on that deal! (laughs) All as it should be. (brings put his jellyfish net) I promise never to use this jellyfish net for anything but pure sport again. Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever! (No Name floats in SpongeBob's net. He gasps) Oh No Name! I guess I can name you now. I'll call you...Friend. (reached his arm out. No Name does but accidentally stings SpongeBob. He nervously smiles) 

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Jellyfish Hunter

2022-11-28T00:35:36Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Artist Unknown|Artist Unknown]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Fry Cook Games|The Fry Cook Games]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Jellyfish Hunter]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob] SquarePants]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
**Moar Krabs (debut)
*[[No Name]] (debut)
*[[Fred]]
*Businessmen
*French Narrator
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (mentioned)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==
(a jellyfish is flying in the sky)

'''French Narrator''': Jellyfish Fields... ...And where there's jellyfish, there is the jellyfish hunter.

SpongeBob: La La La La, (SpongeBob Catches It) Your'e my twelfth catch of the day. I'm gonna call you "Twelvey." (tickles it) Coochie coochie coo! (it sneezes out some jelly.) Bye Twelvey! (Twelvey stings him. He sees a blue jellyfish.) It's you!
Well It's Just You and Me Again, I Caught Him Name In The Jellyfish Field The Lease Once Except You Know Name. (he tries to catch it. He runs. He steps on a soda can. He then runs so fast he flies.) Gotcha! (he is unsuccessful at catching it) Someday I'm gonna catch you and I will name you! 

(cut to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Time for my lunch break! 

Mr. Krabs: You've got 5 minutes! 

SpongeBob: Wow! One minute more than yesterday! SpongeBob on lunch! (he takes out his jar of jelly and a Krabby Patty. He starts eating it.) 

Fred: Hey, buddy! What's that? 

SpongeBob: Oh, this is a hole, sir. You see, I am a sponge, and... 

Fred: No, not that! That! (points to his jelly patty) 

SpongeBob: Oh, this is just a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly! I call it a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly. 

Fred: Could I try some? 

SpongeBob: Sure! (gives Fred some) 

Fred: Amazing! I've got to tell someone about this. 

Music: [[Hey All You People]]

Hey all you people,
Hey all you people,
Hey all you people won't you listen to me--?

I just had a sandwich,
No ordinary sandwich,
A sandwich filled with jellyfish jelly--...

Hey, man!, you've got to try this sandwich!
It's no ordinary sandwich!
It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea--...
(scats) Yeah...Thank you

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, who's playing Squidwards records again? 

SpongeBob: No-one Mr. Krabs.I'm just sharing my jellyfish jelly with the customers.(showing some fish eating jelly pattys.)Here you go Mr. Krabs. Send your taste buds on a journey. 

(Mr. Krabs sniffs the patty.)

Mr. Krabs: Messing with the patty's formula, thats mutany! 

Fred: Sir, this is the best thing I've ever tasted. I'm coming here everyday for the rest of my life.(A bill with Fred appears in it.)Hey, buddy, you okay? 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, how about you get me some of those moneyfish? 

SpongeBob: Wow. Getting paid to jellyfish. That's my life's dream! 

Mr. Krabs: Well keep dreaming.(Mr. Krabs gives him a jellyfish net.)This is on your time. Now go get me some jellyfish, and make it (SpongeBob holds up a jellyfish in a jar.)...quick. SpongeBob I'm gonna need more than 1 jellyfish. 

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, how many jellyfish do you need? 

SpongeBob: (jellyfishing with many nets. He then shows up with three jars.) Here you go, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (painting a sign saying "Home of the Jelly Patty") I'm gonna need more than that, boy! 

SpongeBob: (cuts a rope. Many jellyfish are inside it. He shows up wuth five jars) More jellies, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (painting jellyfish on the walls of the Krusty Krab with the words "I Love Jellyfish" on his shirt) Oh, that'll never do. More! 

SpongeBob: (has a moustache on. a sign next to a jellyfish hive reading "FOR RENT" is shown. Jellyfish come in. They are trapped in a large net.) Here you go! 

Mr. Krabs: (customers are lined up) More, SpongeBob! 

(SpongeBob is driving a large replica of himself. Its hand shows up at the Krusty Krab with a jar full of jellyfish.)

Mr. Krabs: What don't you understand about..."more!" 

(Many SpongeBobs catch jellyfish.)

Mr. Krabs: More!

(cut to a montage of Mr. Krabs shouting "More!" and SpongeBob catching jellyfish. Cut to night. A sign reading "Jellyfish Fields: Population Million is seen. The word "4 Million" is crossed out.) 

SpongeBob: Well, there's no more! Now, that's jellyfishing! 

(No Name is secretly follows him)

SpongeBob: It feels like somebody...wants to sell me something! 

Businessman: (hiding behind rock with another businessman) I told you he was onto us! 

SpongeBob: (running away) I'm not interested in anything you're selling! (opens the door to his house and gets in) I sure felt like...(laughs) I must be working too hard. (telephone rings) I'll get it, there! Hello, SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob speaking. 

No Name: (breathing) 

SpongeBob: (laughing nervously) Wrong number. (No Name morphs into a pliers and cuts SpongeBob's fuse and the lights go out. SpongeBob laughs nervously) I guess Gary forgot to pay the electric bill! (door opens and a small, black figure comes in) Gary? Gary, is that you? (the figure goes inside the kitchen) Yeah, good idea, Gary, there's probably some left overs in the kitchen! (light shines on a Krabby Patty with blue jellyfish jelly) Hello, what's this? What are you doing here, oh delicious one? A little snack will calm my nerves! Mmm...a Krabby Patty with blue jelly. Blue jelly! (No Name shows up) Hey, old No Name? What's happening? 

No Name: (buzzing, show's a net and jar) 

SpongeBob: Let me out! What are you gonna do with me? Eew! What smells like big business? (No Name shows a factory) Hey, I don't remember that factory! (No Name shows him the inside) Huh? (Jellyfish are inside tubes. They are being sucked of their jelly. The dried out ones are put in trash cans.) What is this horrible place? (a robot is tickling a jellyfish) 

Robot: Coochie coochie coo. (jellyfish sneezes) 

SpongeBob: What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?

Mr. Krabs: (on an exercising machine) That's it, boys! Keep that gelatinnous gold mine flowing! (laughs) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? No! Now I know why you brought me here. But what can we do? (Mr. Krabs is listening to a song. SpongeBob breaks in riding on No Name) Mr. Krabs! Stop this madness right now! 

Mr. Krabs: Uh...uh...This...This isn't what it looks like! We're having a...um...um....a little tea party! 

SpongeBob: Oh, boy! A tea party! (No Name touches him) You tricked me, Mr. Krabs! I never would have collected all this jellyfish if I knew this was their fate! This isn't right! Jellyfish should be wild and safe in fresh air!

Mr. Krabs: Easy boy, what are you doing with that? 

SpongeBob: (holding an alligator wrench) Now I'm gonna do something that should have been done a long time ago! 

Mr. Krabs: No! 

SpongeBob: The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy! 

Mr. Krabs: (relieved) 

SpongeBob: And now I'm gonna set these jellyfish free! (tries to open it but is unsuccessful) 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Well, you can't. The door's voice-activated and will only open if I say "open". (closes his mouth. The sign on the door lights the words "OPEN" and the jellyfish escape)

SpongeBob: Freedom! Freedom! 

Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me! (He pedals but the exercising machine is bolted to the ground) Blasted exercise craze! (jellyfish sting him and he screams in pain) 

SpongeBob: (jellyfish escape out the doors) Goodbye, friends! 

Mr. Krabs: I'm taking jelly off the menu. 

SpongeBob: He really got burned on that deal! (laughs) All as it should be. (brings put his jellyfish net) I promise never to use this jellyfish net for anything but pure sport again. Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever! (No Name floats in SpongeBob's net. He gasps) Oh No Name! I guess I can name you now. I'll call you...Friend. (reached his arm out. No Name does but accidentally stings SpongeBob. He nervously smiles) 

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Artist Unknown

2022-11-28T00:33:07Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Sailor Mouth|Sailor Mouth]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Jellyfish Hunter|Jellyfish Hunter]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Artist Unknown]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Monty P. Moneybags]] (debut)

==Dialogue==

Squidward: Ah, how I have dreamed of this day. Mr. Tentacles: Professor of Art. What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom. Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives and I will shape them into my image. (wife’s head turns into Squidward’s) And I'll go down in history, someday. And there will be a wing with my name on it in all the museums of the world.

Janitor: Dude, you're teaching art at the rec' center. Calm down.

Squidward: Uncultured trash urchin. 9 am. Time to let the class in. Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer. (opens the door) Welcome to art class!

Fish: Oh, isn't this cooking? Sorry. (everyone leaves except one)

'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward! Are you taking this art class, too?

Squidward: SpongeBob? In art class? Wait! This is cooking! Come back! You gotta be kidding.

'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) This is great! You and me in school together. (Squidward growls in frustration) So, where's the teacher?

Squidward: You're looking at him.

'''SpongeBob''': You are the teacher? To my pupil? This isn't art class, it's Heaven.

Squidward: (Sarcastically) Yeah. Grab a little piece of Heaven and let's get on with it.

'''SpongeBob''': (sits at a desk) I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles.

Squidward: So, you wanna be an artist, eh, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': Yes, please.

Squidward: Well, art is not all fun and games. It's a lot of hard work. (He drops a load of books on his desk shaking the building) Ok.
First, repeat after me: I have no talent.

'''SpongeBob''': I have no talent.

Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.

'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.

Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles' talent will rub off on me.

'''SpongeBob''': If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent...(Stammers in confusion) will rub his tentacles on my art. (smiles)

Squidward: (Obviously annoyed) Whatever. Ok. Since you’re telling me you have no prior training, we'll have to start from square one. Or should I say circle one (Draws a terrible circle on the chalkboard). (laughs) Am I going too fast for you SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': How's this, Squidward? (Holds up a perfect circle he drew)

Squidward: What the? How the? A perfect circle? Do it again. Show your process.

'''SpongeBob''': Well, first I draw this head (Draws a realistic head). Then I erase some of the more detailed features (When the smoke clears up it shows the sketch of the face he drew and when erasing again it turns into a perfect circle.) And one, two, three. A circle (Squidward is glaring), uhh, thingy.

Squidward: Gimme that. (crumples paper) Forget the circles.

'''SpongeBob''': Ooh, nice one Squidward. Let me try. (Crumples paper into an origami statue of himself and Squidward then laughs) Looky, Squidward. It's you and me playing leapfrog. That's you on the bottom.

Squidward: (Shocked) Gimme that. (rips up paper) There is nothing artistic about leapfrog. (SpongeBob starts putting the paper pieces together) What are you doing, now?!

'''SpongeBob''': I call it: Rippy Bits. You take a bunch of old ripped of paper and make a new picture out of it. See? (It's another picture of them playing leapfrog) (Squidward glares at him again) You're on top...this...time. (blows paper)

Squidward: Do you want to learn art, or not?!!

'''SpongeBob''': I'm sorry, Squidward, I'll listen.

Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, pay close attention. Look at your marble. Visualize the sculpture within. And...gently... (hits marble with tools and it crumples into a mess)

'''SpongeBob''': (hits marble with tools and it cracks apart leaving a marble sculpture of Michelangelo's David statue) How's this Squidward?

Squidward: (Cries) It's beautiful. (Stammers) I mean, this isn't a sculpture. A good sculpture takes...more time. You can't just sculpt Willie-Nillie. You've got to go by the book. Follow the rules. Otherwise, you'll never get past amateur hour, here. Besides, you've got the nose wrong. (Squidward puts a nose like his on the sculpture) There, now it's art.

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, it's so obvious. I would've never thought of that. I'm sorry, Squidward. I came here to learn and I arrogantly shunned your lessons. I'll never be a great artist like you. I don't deserve your tutoring. I don't deserve your kindness. I don't even deserve to use your door. (door opens hitting SpongeBob out the window into a dumpster)

Monty: Hello there.

'''SpongeBob''': But I did deserve that. (dumpster door closes) I deserved that, too. (garbage truck drives by, and loads the garbage and SpongeBob in its' garbage pail before driving off towards the dump) And I deserve this!

Monty: Good day, sir.

Squidward: Sorry, class dismissed. You're too late.

Monty: Oh, I beg your pardon, but I've forgotten my manners. My name is Monty P. Moneybags.

Squidward: World famous art collector?

Monty: The one and only.

Squidward: Well, what are you doing here?

Monty: I'm on a shopping spree. Buying art for my new museum.

Squidward: Your search is over. I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste. (Shows a geometrical sculpture of himself as an angel) I call this one: Squidward en repose.

Monty: I, uh, don't think that will fit in with the other pieces in my collection.

Squidward: Why not?

Monty: Because, it's an art collection. (laughs)

Squidward: How about this one? (Holds up a painting of him in a bubbly like form) I call it: Bold and Brash.

Monty: More like: Belongs in the Trash. (laughs)

Janitor: Sorry. I must've missed that one (Grabs painting and throws it in his trash can before walking off whistling)

Monty: Maybe I should be...huh? What is that? (Sees the sculpture)

Squidward: Wait, wait. That's not uh, uh...

Monty: Angelic form, amazing detail, perfect censorship. (Smiles) This is the work of a true genius. (Frowns in confusion) Hello? What's this?!!?? (Sees the nose Squidward added) This is the only flaw. (Smiles, rips off Squidward's added nose which falls on Squidward's forehead giving him two noses. Monty sees the human nose on the statue) Ah, that's more like it. I simply must find the artist responsible. He shall have fame.

Squidward: Fame. (Squidward imagines himself on the red carpet, cameras going off in the background)

Monty: Fortune.

Squidward: Fortune. (Squidward imagines himself in a tub full of money)

Monty: Anything his heart desires.

Squidward: Anything? (Squidward imagines himself with hair) It's me. It's me. I'm responsible.

Monty: I can see it now. Your name in the world's most prestigious museums. I'm gonna make you, immortal!! Now, uh, help me get this in the car.

Squidward: I could use a little help. (sculpture's head hits the top of the doorway, falls off, and turns into dust) My fame, my fortune, my hair.

Monty: Well, that's a bit of bad luck right there. But, this shouldn't be a problem for an artist of your magnitude. You can whip up another one.

Squidward: Yeah, no problem. You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off.

Monty: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks. (laughs)

Squidward: Yeah, no socks. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye. I gotta find SpongeBob!! (at the dump) SpongeBob...SpongeBob? SpongeBob! (he finds Spongebob sitting in a cereal box)

'''SpongeBob''': Go away, Squidward. I don't deserve your kindness.

Squidward: Hey, cheer up. I have decided to give you another chance. Why, with a great teacher like me, anything is possible. (he takes the cereal box off of Spongebob)

'''SpongeBob''': Don't look at me Squidward. Don't look at my shame. These hands weren't meant to create. They only destroy. I can't look at them. (SpongeBob's hands pop off and run into a soup can)

Squidward: Aww, c'mon SpongeBob. You've got yourself a pair of yellow dandies here. With my help, we'll turn them into tools of beauty.

'''SpongeBob''': Really?

Squidward: Really!

'''SpongeBob''': Really?

Squidward: Really!

'''SpongeBob''': Really?

Squidward: Really.

'''SpongeBob''': Wow. Really?

Squidward: Let's go.

'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, look. It's ol' bold and brash. (He picks up the painting which was taken to the dump)

Squidward: Gimme that. (back at classroom) Ok, SpongeBob. Just do what you did before.

'''SpongeBob''': I...can't!

Squidward: Ah, ah. Wait, wait. Let me help. Let's start with the circle again.

'''SpongeBob''': (he draws a bad circle) I did it, Squidward.

Squidward: Huh? But, but, what about the head...and the erasing, and the, the...

'''SpongeBob''': I don’t know, Squidward. That stuff’s not in the book.

Squidward: Uhh... (crumples paper) How about this, huh? Remember?

'''SpongeBob''': That's not in the book, either.

Squidward: Forget about the book. (rips book) Ha! Look at all this mess SpongeBob. What do all these little pieces of paper make you want to do?

'''SpongeBob''': Wait, I know this. Oh, wait, I think I got it. (puts the book back together) Tada! (Squidward's nose melts off his face)

Squidward: Ok, SpongeBob. Let's just move onto the marble.

'''SpongeBob''': First, an artist must concentrate and visualize his concept.

Squidward: Now you've got it.

'''SpongeBob''': I've gotta embrace the marble. (he hugs the marble)

Squidward: Right.

'''SpongeBob''': I've gotta sniff the marble. (he sniffs the marble)

Squidward: Well, uh, ok.

'''SpongeBob''': I've gotta lick the marble. (he licks the marble)

Squidward: Uhh...

'''SpongeBob''': I've gotta wash the marble. (he is shown standing next to the marble, which is in a washing machine) I've gotta date the marble. (he is shown at a fancy restaurant with the marble) I've gotta be the marble! (he is shown with his body elongated to match the marble) I've got it. I have seen the sculpture within.

Squidward: Here you go, buddy.

'''SpongeBob''': With this tool, I shall give birth to art.

Squidward: Oh, boy. (SpongeBob taps the marble with the tool and breaks it into pieces) (Squidward is shocked)

'''SpongeBob''': But, one more thing. (puts a copy of Squidward's nose on it) There. Now it's art. Well, what do you think, Squidward? Just take it all in for a moment. Let it soak in. (Squidward gets irritated, screams, and throws everything in his classroom into a pile) It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward. Oh, well, back to the dump. (he puts a cereal box on his head and runs off) To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump dump. To the dump, to the dump, To the dump, dump dump. (the room smokes up as Squidward destroys everything) (the doors open)

Monty: I'm here for the...what the? Who is responsible for this?

Squidward: As of now, it's his responsibility. (puts hat on janitor's head) Good day to you, sir. (He leaves)

(The janitor and Monty see the mess which forms a better sculpture of David)

Monty: You, sir, are the greatest artist who ever lived!

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

Episode Transcript: Procrastination

2022-11-28T00:31:05Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krusty Love|Krusty Love]]
|[[Episode Transcript: I'm with Stupid|I'm with Stupid]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Procrastination (Episode)|Procrastination]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
**Dream SpongeBob
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]
*Class
*Easy Chair
*Pants
*[[Flare]]
*Clock
*House
*Mailman
*Realistic Fish Head
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (cameo)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]] (cameo)
*[[Mr. Sun|Mr. Sun]] (debut, cameo)

==Dialogue==
(At Mrs. Puff's Boating School, the bell rings)

'''Mrs. Puff''': OK, class, quiet, quiet. Now, get out your pencils and paper, and write down the assignment. (students groan)

'''SpongeBob''': Did you hear that? We get an assignment! (Nat gives an annoyed look)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight. (students groan again)

'''SpongeBob''': Did you hear that? What not to do at a Stoplight. (Nat glares at him)

'''Mrs. Puff''': In no less than 800 words. (squeals. Students groan again)

'''Nat''': (acting like SpongeBob): Did you hear that? 800 words!

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I know! (Nat frowns in annoyance)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Due tomorrow. And remember, class: work hard, and no goofing off. (back at SpongeBob's house)

'''SpongeBob''': OK, Gary, no goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. (Shows two pieces) Even more important than the paper is... (shows a pencil) ...the pencil. A pencil is sharp or as dull as I like. (To the pencil) Hmm.. funny thing, as my ideas grow, you shrink. (kisses the pencil) Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. (looks at window. It's colorful outside) OK, here we go. (begins writing) "What Not to Do at a Stoplight". Hey, this is easy! "By SpongeBob SquarePants". Ha, this essay is pure gold. And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff, because here we go! (the clock is shown. Several hours pass and SpongeBob has not written anything else) Gee, this is harder than I thought. (in a deleted scene, he looks outside. There is a carnival. Squidward is suntanning. A kid is eating ice cream. Jellyfish are playing tennis. Gary is playing with a ball. Patrick is rubbing Sandy with sunscreen)

'''Patrick''': Come on, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day. (groans) But I must press onward. Because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! (a live-action drag race is shown. A car hits a wall, tumbles, and gets back up. Cut back to SpongeBob) Oh, yeah... This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock! Okay, okay, here we go. Here we go. (SpongeBob struggles to write) I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? (does calisthenics. While doing it, he recites "Hup hoo" several times) I can feel those juices pumpin' now. (moves his chair closer to the table. Does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. Laughs) Huh? What am I doing? I gotta write that paper. (pushes his chair in) Come on, pencil, make words.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you and ol' SpongeBob fix you up something to eat?

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean you're not hungry?

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': I know I have an essay to write. Now, come on, Gary. (pours some food) I've got to make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving till you eat every single bite. (takes up a ladder and fills it to ceiling-level. Gary quickly eats it) Gary, are you sure you don't want some crème brûlée? Or some choco-flavored algae bits? (sees a pile of food on the floor) Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay, knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. (cleans it up) Hmm. I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. (some time later, SpongeBob is finished) Well, I think it's clean enough now. (the kitchen is now chrome) Why, that didn't take too long. It's only... (checks the clock) 10:00! Oh. No more fooling around. I gotta get back to work. Okay, Mr. Essay, I say: prepare to be written! I'm doing it! (begins writing frantically in a montage) I'm doing it!... Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!... And some of these, and some of these!... Almost there and... (drops pencil) done. (sighs in relief) Now, let's see how it looks so far. The... (he has only written the word "The", in a fancy manner) Break time! Pacing always helps me think. (paces around the room) Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, SpongeBob, think. (looks at the telephone, then at the paper, then back at the phone. Cut to Patrick in bed. His phone rings and he wakes up)

'''Patrick''': Who's that? (picks up phone) Hello?

'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, what are you up to?

'''Patrick''': Sleeping.

'''SpongeBob''': That's really fascinating. Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on this...

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) That is not true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!

'''Patrick''': Well, I'm listening.

'''SpongeBob''': Uh...Marco!

'''Patrick''': Polo. (hangs up)

'''SpongeBob''': (listening to a dial tone) Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Patrick. Got an important essay to write. (hangs up phone) Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? (notices eraser shavings on his paper) I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! (throws them away) Now they're floating around my thinking space. (blows them away) So long, pesky particles! (they come back, and he chokes on one) I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water! Water! (goes to the kitchen and drinks water, then gasps in relief) That was a close one.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean overly dramatic, Gary? All that choking sure made me hungry.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. I gotta have my brain food. (looking through his refrigerator) Now, let's see. White or rye bread...or pumpernickel? Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside. And the cheese. (doorbell rings) A visitor? For me? (opens the door) Hello!

'''Mailman''': Package for Mr. SquarePants.

'''SpongeBob''': Great! Thanks! So, you like delivering mail?

'''Mailman''': It puts bread on the table.

'''SpongeBob''': Rye or pumpernickel? (laughs)

'''Mailman''': Oh, brother.

'''SpongeBob''': So, do you deliver your own mail? Or do you have your own mailperson? But then, who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could, in theory, break the chain.

'''Mailman''': Don't you have a paper to write? (walks away)

'''SpongeBob''': (gulps) How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? (glances back and forth several times, then slides backward into his house, turns and tiptoes in front of the television)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': (speaking on the TV) In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay. And yet he continues to goof off. (his head leans through the TV screen into SpongeBob's face) When will he learn?

'''SpongeBob''': Hi-yah! (karate chops the TV causing a zap and the glass breaks. The room has a blackout and he lights a candle)

'''Easy Chair''': (SpongeBob turns to it) Hey! SpongeBob, over here! Come on! Take a seat! Put your feet up and relax! (SpongeBob drops the candle on the floor and the fire on the candle goes out)

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps, as the bell rings the clock lights up as he looks at the clock) Oh, no! Midnight! (Panting, he runs in a hallway where the wall is full of paintings of clocks in the style of "Persistence of Memory") Must... get... back to desk! (runs to the table, but it has enlarged. He jumps up) Whew, that was a close call. (notices his pants are missing and he screams) My pants!

'''Pants''': Yoo hoo! Down here!

'''SpongeBob''': You get up here! I gotta get back to work!

'''Pants''': Freedom!

'''SpongeBob''': (runs out the door following the pants) Stop, pants! You get back here this instant! Pants! (The door closes. SpongeBob tries to get back in, but it is locked. He looks in the window. The candle is still lit. The clock's face pops off, revealing a mouth)

'''Clock''': (ghostly voice) Time's up, SpongeBob. (the candle melts into a flame, Flare. SpongeBob gasps)

'''SpongeBob''': Burning!

'''Flare''': (takes SpongeBob's essay paper) Only 799 words to go! (burns the paper and leaps off the table) Hehehehe!

'''SpongeBob''': No! (the inside of his house burns. Screams) What have I done? Help! Help! My house is on fire! (continues running around his burnt house, babbling incoherently, until the house comes to life)

'''House''': SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! Stop wasting time!

'''SpongeBob''': (wakes up from his nightmare and takes the pencil off his face) Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! I must've dozed off. Let's see, where are we? (the paper only reads "The") Do I dare look at the clock? (looks at the clock, then gasps) It's almost 9:00! Class starts in five minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? (realizing) Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And... (begins writing) ...making a sandwich. And lighting candles! And drinking water! And calling your friends! And karate chopping the TV! And shooting the breeze with the mailman. And falling asleep... (cut to SpongeBob, out of breath, running to the boating school) Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Mrs. Puff? (goes inside, but nobody is there) Where is everybody?

'''Mrs. Puff''': Oh, there you are, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob''': Here you go, Mrs. Puff! All 800 words! All about stoplights and what not to do at 'em.

'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you! I have to go to a teacher's convention.

'''SpongeBob''': But what about my essay?

'''Mrs. Puff''': Nah, I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week! (exits. SpongeBob rips his essay. He then rips himself)

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Aufsatz]]

Episode Transcript: Band Geeks

2022-11-28T00:26:22Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Hör mal, wer da spielt]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Secret Box|The Secret Box]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Graveyard Shift|Graveyard Shift]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]

==Characters==
*[[Doctor Gill Gilliam]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Squilliam Fancyson]] (debut)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Pearl Krabs]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Nancy]]
*[[Frank (Cameo Character)]]
*[[Guest Stars|David Glen Eisley]], the lead singer [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] from [[Sweet Victory]].

==Dialogue==
(Squidward plays his clarinet until doorbell rings)

'''Doctor Gill Gilliam:''' Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises. (Squidward slams door. shellphone rings, Squidward picks it up) 

'''Squidward:''' Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the (plays a foul clarinet note) 

'''Squilliam:''' (in left side of a split screen) Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh ol' chum? 

'''Squidward:''' (on right side of split screen) Squilliam Fancyson from band class?! 

'''Squilliam:''' (snooty) I hear you're playing the cash register now. 

'''Squidward:''' Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow? 

'''Squilliam:''' It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the BUBBLE BOWL next week. 

'''Squidward:''' (stammering) The ba-ba-ba...The ba-ba-ba...The ba-ba-ba... 

'''Squilliam:''' That's right. I'm living YOUR dreams Squidward. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us. 

'''Squidward:''' (still stammering) Ohh, uhh, I...I, uhh... 

'''Squilliam:''' I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now. 

'''Squidward:''' '''''HOLD IT!''''' It just '''''so''''' happens that I '''''don't''''' sell fast food, I '''''do''''' have a
band, and we're going to play that '''''Bubble Bowl!''''' How do you like '''''that,''''' Fancy '''''Boy?!''''' 

'''Squilliam:''' Good luck, next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of…Ibuprofen! (hangs up phone) 

'''Squidward:''' I've got to drum up a marching band fast! Drum...haha...band humor. (screen fades to Bikini Bottomites reading off of band practice flyers)

'''Sandy:''' Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

'''Plankton:''' Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Bikini Bottom. 

'''Mrs. Puff:''' And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Not to mention free refreshments. 

'''Larry:''' Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp. (Squidward looks at his watch while driving a canoe car with instruments) 

'''Squidward:''' Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more
band humor. 

[ALL CHATTERING] 

'''Squidward:''' People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before? 

'''Plankton:''' Do instruments of torture count? 

'''Squidward:''' No. 

'''Patrick''': Is mayonnaise an instrument? 

'''Squidward:''' No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. (Patrick raises his hand again) Horse radish is not an
instrument, either. (Patrick lowers his hand) That's fine. No one has experience. Fortunately, I have enough
talent for ''all'' of you. (laughs) 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' When do we get the free food? 

'''Squidward:''' Okay, try to repeat after me. (Squidward plays 6 notes) Brass section, go. (brass section repeats) Good. Now the wind. (wind section repeats) And the drums. (drum players, including SpongeBob, misunderstand what Squidward means, so they blow on their drum sticks, which blow out and stick Squidward to the wall) Too bad that didn't kill me. (Next scene)
Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five. 

'''SpongeBob''': Is this the part where we start kicking? 

'''Squidward:''' No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line. 

'''Patrick''': Kicking?! I want to do some kicking! (kicks Sandy in her leg) 

'''Sandy:''' Ow! Why, you…! Why I oughta. (dust cloud of beatings appears with Sandy jumping at Patrick, which then goes out an open door, which then closes) 

[PATRICK YELLS OUTSIDE] 

'''Patrick''': Whoever's the owner of a white sedan, you left your lights on. (Patrick walks in with his head and torso seperated by a trombone, his head in the horn, then plays a tune with a series of A and B-flats. When he sits down, he plays a loud blare as the trombone slide goes down and opens his mouth, then when the note is over, he looks down with his head straight) 

'''French Narrator:''' Day two. (band walking down a street playing) 

'''Squidward:''' Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn.
Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move!!! C'mon, move!!! (flag twirlers spin fast and fly into the air and explode when running into a blimp. Trumpet player plays "Taps", then Squidward lies down on street, curled up in a ball) 

'''French Narrator:''' Day three. 

'''Squidward:''' How's that harmonica solo coming, Plankton?

'''Plankton:''' It's tremendous! Ya wanna see? (runs to his harmonica and plays the first note. Runs along and plays another note. Runs down and plays three notes at the same time. He gets tired and walks slowly to another note. Has trouble playing it. Falls down and spreads saliva)

'''French Narrator:''' Day four.

'''Squidward:''' Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began…
(Patrick chews on a trumpet) …''but'' I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right? 

'''Plankton:''' (loudly) '''''CORRECT!!''''' 

'''Squidward:''' So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? (everybody gets their instuments ready) And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! (Instantly a piercing loud horrible sound from the instruments breaks the windows apart and causes a small earthquake. Squidward's face is deformed like a Picasso painting and his baton breaks in half) Okay, new theory..... Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us. 

'''Harold:''' (Australian accent) Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so ''bad'' if '''''some''''' people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What did you say, '''''punk?!''''' 

'''Harold:''' (Angrily) '''''BIG''''', '''''MEATY''''' '''''CLAWS!''''' 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Turns his eyes in anger) Well, these claws ain't just for attracting mates. 

'''Harold:''' Bring it on, old man! Bring it on! 

'''SpongeBob''': No, people. Let's be smart and bring it ''off''. 

'''Nancy:''' '''''Oh ho,''''' so now the talking ''cheese'' is going to preach to us. 

[ALL ARGUING]

'''Squidward:''' Wait, wait. I know tensions are high. (everyone gets into a fight. Pilar and Larry are yelling at each other. Medley slams a drum on him.) There's a deposit on the equipment, people!
(everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Harold charge with clarinets like a joust but they slow down as Mrs. Puff slams them with cymbals.) Settle down, please. (Sandy and Frank are fighting. Sandy destroys Frank's xylophone by chopping it with a drum stick and he runs away. Patrick furiously kicks Sandy, and Sandy glares, turns red and snarls before grabbing a trombone. Patrick screams and runs off as Sandy chases him and the clock sounds at 10 and everyone stops fighting.) 

'''Fred:''' Hey, class is over! (they all walk to the door making up their fight where Squidward slams them open) 

'''Squidward:''' Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size
pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow.
I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing. 

'''Patrick''': You're welcome. 

'''SpongeBob''': What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him.
Squidward's always been there for us when it was convenient for him. Evelyn, when your little Jimmy was trapped in a fire, who rescued him?

'''Evelyn:''' A firemen. 

'''SpongeBob''': And Larry, when you fail out from all those tanning pills, who revived you? 

'''Larry:''' Some guy in an ambulance. 

'''SpongeBob''': Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Squidward was a fireman, or a guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure
that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means: to be in a marching band. 

'''Harold:''' Yeah, for the fireman! 

'''All:''' Hooray! 

'''SpongeBob''': Now let's make Squidward proud. A-one, a-two, a-skiddleydiddleydoo. 

(At Bubble Bowl) 

'''Squidward:''' I ''knew'' this was going to happen. They're just going to have to find another band to play. I just hope
that… (sees Squilliam) …'''''SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT! SQUILLIAM!! AH!''''' What are you doing here? 

'''Squilliam''': (laughs) I just wanted to watch you blow it. So, where's your band? 

'''Squidward:''' Um, they couldn't come. They…died. 

'''Squilliam:''' Then who's that? 

'''Squidward:''' '''''AH! THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!''''' 

'''SpongeBob''': We're ready to perform, Squidward. 

'''Squilliam:''' Well, Squiddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band with look. (SpongeBob dances while flicking his tongue back and forth) 

'''Squidward:''' That's his…''eager face''. (Squilliam laughs. They all go into the Bubble Bowl) 

'''Squidward:''' Well, I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's the spirit, Squidward. (bowl raises above a football field) 

'''Football Announcer:''' OK, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom SuperBand!!!!! (crowd cheers) 

'''Patrick''': These are some ugly looking fish. 

'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we're in those toxic waste dumps. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I think I'm gonna be sick. 

'''Squidward:''' (Nervously) Okay, everybody. Let's get this over with. One, two, three, four...

(Several band members play trumpets for a short time)
('''Music:''' "Sweet Victory")
(SpongeBob begins singing)

[SINGING] The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the wind closing in. The only attack were their wings on the wind. Oh, the daydream begins. And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight, in the sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah.
And the world is ours to follow. Sweet, sweet, sweet victory.

(Squilliam is shocked at the band's success and Squidward looks at Squilliam in an evil and smug way causing Squilliam to be scared. Squidward as he makes rock star moves, Squilliam passes out of a heart attack and Squidward waves good bye to him as medical doctors take him away in the distance. Squidward jumps into the air, delighted that he has a great band)

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

Episode Transcript: Pressure

2022-11-28T00:24:57Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Squirrel Jokes|Squirrel Jokes]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Smoking Peanut|The Smoking Peanut]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Pressure (Episode)|Pressure]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
**Real Sponge
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
**Red Headed Squirrel
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**Real Starfish
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
**Real Squid
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
**Real Crab
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]

==Dialogue==
'''Sandy:''' (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yup, and just relax. 

'''Sandy:''' Yeah. Relax. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You know what that cloud looks like? 

'''Sandy:''' What? 

'''SpongeBob:''' A flower. 

'''Sandy:''' They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time. 

'''SpongeBob:''' They sure do. 

'''Sandy:''' You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.

'''SpongeBob:''' Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?

'''Sandy:''' Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who'd get to the top first. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. 

'''SpongeBob and Sandy:''' (laughing) Me. 

'''SpongeBob:''' That's funny, Sandy. It sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest. 

'''Sandy:''' 'Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge) 

'''SpongeBob:''' I thought that meant you were nuts. 

'''Sandy:''' Nope, it means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good ol' dry land. 

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! (his fingers do poses) What do you say to that, "Miss Mittens"? 

'''Sandy:''' I'd say I'm already halfway there! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh! (begins to climb the mountain) No fair, Sandy! You got a head start! 

'''Sandy:''' Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles! (collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! (gets back on another rock) You did that on purpose! 

'''Sandy:''' Yeah, but this is an accident! (unleashes more rocks at him. SpongeBob screams as he falls.) Too bad you forgot your umbrella! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I didn't! (laughing) 

'''Sandy:''' Well. It's about time you showed up. 

'''SpongeBob:''' But you were-I saw you-I-I-I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner! 

'''Sandy:''' Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter. 

'''SpongeBob:''' I can underwater! I'm... HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED! Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube? 

'''Sandy:''' Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there! (zoom out to reveal a record player)-halfway there!-halfway there!. 

'''Sandy:''' (gasps) Hey! (SpongeBob laughs but hits a brick wall. Jumps on SpongeBob) Thanks for the face lift! (laughs as she runs to the Krusty Krab) You see, I told you you didn't have a ch-

'''SpongeBob:''' (dressed as an old man) There you are! Ain't just like a land creature to keep a sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) 

'''Sandy:''' I though y'all wanted a rematch. 

'''SpongeBob:''' I did! And I took a head start like you did! 

'''Sandy:''' Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!

'''SpongeBob:''' I guess I don't, air breather! 

'''Sandy:''' Water sucker! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Tree climber! 

'''Sandy:''' Gulf streamer! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Kite flier! 

'''Sandy:''' Chum chewer! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Take that back! You... (nervously) not wet person! 

'''Sandy:''' Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Proves what? 

'''Sandy:''' That land critters are better than sea critters! 

'''Patrick:''' (walks to the two) Better at what? 

'''Sandy:''' Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying! 

'''Squidward:''' (walks to the three) What's she blabbering about? 

'''Patrick:''' She says land creatures are best. 

'''Sandy:''' Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn chucking, (Mr. Krabs walks to the four) and hay bailing, and barn raising, and fishing! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs all gasp) And name calling, for sure! 

'''Squidward:''' And drowning, don't forget drowning! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughing) Good one, Squidward! (jumps to hi-five Squidward) Woo! 

'''Squidward:''' Not on your life, sport. (SpongeBob falls) 

'''SpongeBob:''' I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel. (SpongeBob and the rest except Sandy start laughing) But you're still just a land creature. 

'''Sandy:''' Squirrels can do anything they want to! 

'''Patrick:''' I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah. 

'''Sandy:''' Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh) 

'''Patrick:''' Thank you, thank you. 

'''Sandy:''' Well, that's just one thing. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that. 

'''Sandy:''' Uh...uh... 

'''Squidward:''' How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Can you reproduce by budding? (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? 

'''Sandy:''' No! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Most importantly...can you do this? (all except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath) 

'''Sandy:''' Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here! 

'''Sandy:''' Well, you don't... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground) 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Neptune preserve her! 

'''Squidward:''' How long can she stay like that? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know! 

'''Patrick:''' Sandy's a girl? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe... (all but Sandy laugh. Sandy winks) Yup, won't be long now. Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out) 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too) 

'''Sandy:''' (starts suffocating underwater, then puts her head into a pickle jar. all others start laughing.) Stop laughing at me! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather! 

'''Patrick:''' Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.) 

'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Sea creatures rule! (chanting) Water! Water! Water! 

'''Sandy:''' All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads would last a minute on my turf. Dry land! 

'''Squidward:''' Do we have to wear pickle jars? (all but Sandy begin to laugh) 

'''Sandy:''' Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs. 

'''SpongeBob:''' One minute? No problem, Landy! (all but Sandy begin to laugh) 

'''Sandy:''' (all but her are still laughing, as she leads them all to a hill. As they see land, they stop laughing) Well? So are you going or not? (the four of them stammer) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, you know, (stammers) 

'''Squidward:''' We-we can't, uh... because... 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' We're late for our...um... 

'''Patrick:''' Our fitting! 

'''Sandy:''' Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes! 

'''Patrick:''' (holding and eating popcorn) Hey! We are not chicken! (drops popcorn. He gasps.) My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission accomplished. 

'''Sandy:''' Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures! 

'''SpongeBob:''' No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge! 

'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!

'''SpongeBob:''' We're not afraid of your dumb old land!

'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!

'''SpongeBob:''' We're sea creatures! 

'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! Well, this is it. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait, boy! (gives him a glass) Make it last. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, Mr. Krabs. (drinks from it) Okay! Here I go! (gasps out of water) Hey, this isn't so bad. We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine! 

'''Patrick:''' I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! (goes up to shore) Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob! 

'''SpongeBob:''' All right, Pat, you made it! Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! (goes up) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Looking good, Mr. Krabs! 

'''Patrick:''' Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Squidward, you're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward! 

'''SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs:''' (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! 

'''Squidward:''' Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. (goes up. Chanting stops) What? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, here we are. 

'''Squidward:''' This is pretty easy. 

'''Patrick:''' I may keep a second rock up here. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Once you get your land legs it's not so bad! 

'''SpongeBob:''' We're the masters of land and sea! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (approaching birds) Hey, it's a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks? 

'''Sandy:''' 3, 2, 1. Well, tan my fur. They made it! Better go congratulate them. (cut to the [[island]] SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to? (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them. She gasps.) Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! (attacks the birds. All of them float back underwater)

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy. 

'''Sandy:''' You know, everyone's best at something. 

'''SpongeBob:''' But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy. 

'''Sandy:''' Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip! 

'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip! 

'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip! 

(scene cut to live-action where the seagulls sitting on the island) 

'''Seagulls:''' Hooray.

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

Kevin the Sea Cucumber

2022-11-28T00:20:25Z

135.26.76.254: /* Appearances */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:300px; float:right;"
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Kevin die Seegurke.jpg|center|300px]] </center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Kevin C. Cucumber
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Species: || Sea cucumber
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Address: || [[Bikini Bottom]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Friends: ||
* [[Anchovy|Anchovies]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Enemies: ||
* [[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Voiced By: ||
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Appearance: ||
* "[[I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (Episode)|I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]"
|}

'''Kevin C. Cucumber''' is a sea cucumber who guest stars in the episode "[[I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (Episode)|I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]".

==Role==
He is first seen answering questions for the crowd of the [[Bi-Annual Jellyfish Convention]]. He is revealed to be the leader of the [[jellyfish]]ing club, the Jellyspotters, which he later admits to have joined only for the fashion. He reckons [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] is a nerd when his club members are mostly nerds.

He tells SpongeBob that the way to find a queen jellyfish is to stand up in a tree and yell out a call, which is "Loser". He and the Jellyspotters go into a giant robot queen jellyfish to trick SpongeBob. However, the real [[Jellyfish King]] shows up and Kevin gets scared. He starts sucking his thumb, saying "I want my mommy! I want my blankie!" SpongeBob gives the jellyfish a bubble shaped like pie and the King Jellyfish goes away. The Jellyspotters want to make SpongeBob their new leader, but Kevin refuses. The other members revolt against him by taking his "hat" (actually his tentacles) and crowning SpongeBob. Modest SpongeBob says that he does not want to accept the job.

===Looks===
[[Image:Totschickkevin.jpg|thumb|right|Kevin's pants]]
He is a light green sea cucumber stylized to evoke the look of an actual cucumber. He has a crown-shaped cluster of tentacles on top of his head. It is pale yellow with an orange outline. He wears blue glasses along with brown colored shorts and has pink lips.

==Appearances==
*"[[I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (Episode)|I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]" (debut)
*"[[Lame and Fortune (Episode)|Lame and Fortune]]" (cameo, leg only)

===Trivia===
*Kevin is a sea cucumber. The sea cucumber is an ''echinoderm'' (an animal that evolved with bilateral symmetry).

{{Minor characters}}
[[Category:Character]]
[[de:Kevin, die Seegurke]]

Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III

2022-11-28T00:19:20Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Heldenhafte Urlaubsvertreter]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: I'm Your Biggest Fanatic|I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Squirrel Jokes|Squirrel Jokes]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[ManRay]] (debut)
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Dirty Bubble]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==

'''Johnny:''' The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join Bikini Bottom's noblest, boldest, oldest superheroes as they bravely prepare for vacation. (both pack their clothes into their bags while "FOLD" and "PACK" come up as they put them in). But wait! While our heroes relax at Leisure Village, who will watch the Mermalair? (Barnacle Boy opens the doors, and SpongeBob and Patrick jump in). 

'''SpongeBob:''' ManSponge... 

'''Patrick''': ...and BoyPatrick! 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Reporting for duty. 

'''Barnacle Boy:''' Yeah, yeah, follow me. 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Up, up, and away! 

'''Mermaid Man:''' Evil! 

'''Barnacle Boy:''' Now, we want you boys to keep an eye on the place. Water the plants, and make sure that... 

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, my gosh, Patrick. This is the greatest wall of superhero super gadgetry ever! I'm going to play with the cosmic-ray! 

'''Patrick''': I'll get the aqua-glove. 

'''Mermaid Man:''' Hold on there, boys! You cannot play with this stuff. 

'''SpongeBob:''' What about the Orb of Confusion? (turns the orb on and and he and Patrick make confused faces). 

'''Mermaid Man:''' (turns it off) No, no! Prolonged exposure from the Orb of Confusion will give you...uh...confusion! 

'''Patrick''': (opens, then closes the boat's door). What about the invisible boat mobile? 

'''Barnacle BBoy:''' Especially not the invisible boat mobile. When we say don't touch anything, we mean don't touch anything. Do you understand? 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Loud and clear, trusted boy companion! 

'''Barnacle Boy:''' Well, great. Here are the keys. (drops key into SpongeBob's hand). We'll see you in a week. 

'''Mermaid Man:''' (both run out the door) Up, up, and away. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Come, boy Patrick. While our heroes are away, we will keep evil at bay. (both flip into the other room while yelling karate sounds). 

'''Patrick''': Huh? M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m... 

'''SpongeBob:''' What is it, trusted sidekick? 

'''Patrick''': M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m! M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m! Man-Ray! Ahh! (both hide). 

'''Patrick''': Hey, SpongeBob, how come he's not chasing us? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Looks like he's frozen or something. 

'''Patrick''': Fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro. 

'''SpongeBob:''' It appears to be some sort of prison chamber... (licks the chamber) ...made out of frozen tartar sauce. This is incredible. Next to the Dirty Bubble, the evil Man-Ray is the all-time greatest arch nemesis of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I have so many questions to ask him. (Patrick pulls the lever down to UNFREEZE). Pat, what are you doing? We're not supposed to touch anything! 

'''Patrick''': But you said you had a question. 

'''SpongeBob:''' We could get in trouble. 

'''Patrick''': Well that's not a question. (both argue). 

'''SpongeBob:''' He said not to touch anything and that includes unfreezing a super-villain! (pulls level up back to FREEZE). 

'''Man-Ray:''' I'm free! Hahaha! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, actually, Mr. Man-Ray, sir, only your head is free. 

'''Man-Ray:''' I, the supreme authority of wickedness, I, the evil Man-Ray, command you to release me from this frozen prison at once. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, uhh, Mr. evil Man-Ray sir, we can't do that. 

'''Man-Ray:''' Why not?!! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Because you're evil! 

'''Man-Ray:''' You mean, if I was good then you'd let me go? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, sure, why not? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Then, uh, in that case...I am good. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Really? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Yes, really. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Really, really? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Yes, yes, really, really. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Really, really, really? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Yes, yes already. I'm good; I'm good!! Now let me out of here or you'll suffer dire consequences. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that's good enough for me. (unfreezes Man-Ray). 

'''Man-Ray:''' You fools! Prepare to be eradicated. (tries to jump at SpongeBob and Patrick but stops in mid-air and falls to the ground, then laughs). What's wrong with me? Hahaha. What is this... Hahaha... infernal contraption?! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Don't play dumb, Man-Ray! You know that's the tickle belt Mermaid Man used on you in episode #17. 

'''Narrator:''' (showing a picture of the belt) As seen on episode 17! 

'''Patrick''': Oh, I love that episode. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, me too, me too. 

'''Man-Ray:''' I'll never get out of here wearing this belt. I...I need an evil plan that will trick them to take it off me. (chuckles) Those acting lessons can pay off. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Remember that part where Mermaid Man and Barnacle... 

'''Man-Ray:''' Oh, sob. Oh, cry. (opens and closes his eyes) Oh, woe is me. You don't know what it's like being evil for so long. Oh, how I wish to be...good. If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency. (SpongeBob & Patrick gasp).

'''SpongeBob:''' We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go. 

'''Man-Ray:''' (turns around) Ahh, that would be fantastic! (chuckles) I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school. (laughs). 

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Man-Ray. Are you ready for your first day at goodness school? (Man-Ray puts an apple on his desk). Pat, get your wallet out. (Patrick gets his wallet out of his pocket). Okay, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet. Patrick, drop the wallet. (Patrick tosses it on the ground). Now, what would you do? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet. 

'''Patrick''': Doesn't look familiar to me. 

'''Man-Ray:''' What? I just saw you drop it. Here. 

'''Patrick''': Nope, it's not mine. 

'''Man-Ray:''' It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you. 

'''Patrick''': Return what to who? 

'''Man-Ray:''' (slaps his face, then shows Patrick his ID). Aren't you Patrick Star? 

'''Patrick''': Yup. 

'''Man-Ray:''' And this is your ID. 

'''Patrick''': Yup. 

'''Man-Ray:''' I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet. 

'''Patrick''': That makes sense to me. 

'''Man-Ray:''' Then take it. 

'''Patrick''': It's not my wallet. 

'''Man-Ray:''' You dim bulb! Take back your wallet, or I'll rip your arms off! (SpongeBob pushes tickle button and Man-Ray laughs). 

'''SpongeBob:''' Nuh. Wrong. (SpongeBob pushes button) Good people don't rip each others' arms off. (Man-Ray chuckles) Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggle with a heavy package. What do you do? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help? (Patrick drops package on Man-Ray's foot). Ow! 

'''Patrick''': Oops, sorry. Can I start over? 

'''Man-Ray:''' I noticed that... (Patrick drops package again). Ow! 

'''Patrick''': Oops. Gotta start again. (Patrick drops package again). 

'''Man-Ray:''' Ow!!!! 

'''Patrick''': Oops! 

'''Man-Ray:''' Eh, you butter-fingered pink thing! What's in that box anyhow?! 

'''Patrick''': My wallets. 

'''Man-Ray:''' Ahh!!!!! (grabs Patrick's head and throws him on the ground a lot). 

'''Patrick''': No! SpongeBob, tickle him! (SpongeBob pushes the tickle button as Man-Ray starts laughing, but he keeps throwing Patrick around). 

'''Man-Ray:''' It tickles but it's worth it. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Alright, goodness lesson number three. Uhh, let's see. (Patrick, in bandages and a wheelchair, grabs the remote glaring in anger). 

'''Patrick''': I've got one. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it? 

'''Man-Ray:''' Umm... 62? 

'''Patrick''': Wrong! (pushes button). 

'''Man-Ray:''' Haha. Stop. (Patrick presses the button rapidly in genuine anger against Man Ray) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick, that's got nothing to do with being good. (He and Patrick play tug-of-war over it) 

'''Patrick''': (Angrily) Let go of it, SpongeBob!! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Pat, we've got to use it only when he's bad. 

'''Patrick''': Let go! 

'''SpongeBob:''' No, you let go! 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Let go!! (remote breaks and the belt goes haywire). 

'''Man-Ray:''' Frequency rising. Hahaha. Belt out of control. It's tickling my DNA. Make it stop! (tears come out as he laughs). Haha. Please!! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Did you hear that, Patrick? He said the P word. 

'''Patrick''': Peanuts? 

'''SpongeBob:''' No. Please. 

'''Patrick''': Well, that's good enough for me. I guess he's re-constituted. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Rehabilitated. 

'''Patrick''': Same thing. 

'''SpongeBob:''' It's graduation day, Man-Ray. This is the key to your future. (unlocks belt) Just look at him, Patrick. The picture of goodness. (Man-Ray grabs the aqua-glove off the wall of weapons). Umm, we're not supposed to touch that stuff. We're not supposed to touch that, either. (Man-Ray grabs a bomb and attaches it on the aqua-glove). We are really not supposed to touch those, sir. Good people have no use for weapons like... (Man-Ray zaps them into dust with the aqua glove and bomb). 

'''Man-Ray:''' (laughs) The only thing I'm good at is being evil. (door opens and he runs). So long, suckers! 

'''Patrick''': What's that smell, SpongeBob? 

'''SpongeBob:''' That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat. 

'''Patrick''': Good, I thought it was my skin. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Forget about your skin, Patrick. Man-Ray is still bad, and someone has to stop him. This is a job for Mermaid Man... 

'''Patrick''': and Barnacle Boy! (both slide down pole and get their costumes on). 

'''SpongeBob:''' To the [[Invisible Boat Mobile]]. (both stop in the invisible boat). 

'''Patrick''': Ignition, on! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait! I don't have a license. 

'''Patrick''': Well, this is an invisible boat, right? So, you need an invisible license. (shapes hand into a rectangle). 

'''SpongeBob:''' You're the best sidekick ever, Barnacle Boy. (boats drives through the wall and into a street light). 

'''Patrick''': Thank goodness for invisible seatbelts. 

'''Man-Ray:''' Out of my way, fools. You no longer have control of me. And now this town belongs to: Man-Ray! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Not so fast, arch-villain. We still have the Orb of Confusion. (Patrick takes out the Orb of Confusion). Take this! (turns it on and they get all confused.) Doy. Duh. 

'''Man-Ray:''' (The confusion orb waves miss him) Well, that was easy. (Heads to the bank where he kicks in the door). Hahaha. All right, people! Everyone stand right where you are!! 

(citizens gasp) 

'''Man-Ray:''' I want to, uh... (chuckles, so everyone else chuckles, too). No! No! Stop giggling or I'll have to... (chuckles again as all the citizens laugh). STOP LAUGHING YOU FOOLS!!!! (Walks up to clerk) 

'''Bank Lady:''' What can I do for you, sir? 

'''Man-Ray:''' What? I'll tell you what you can do. (points glove at the lady) Gimme all of your... (chuckles again) G-g-gimme all of your... (chuckles again) Give me... (chuckles too much) Ahh! The belt is gone, but I still feel its tickle. The urge to do bad is gone. (Sighs) I guess I'll just open a checking account. (Man-Ray returns to turn the Orb of Confusion off). 

'''SpongeBob:''' Duh. Doy. (gasps) Man-Ray! 

'''Man-Ray:''' No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks...with little poodles on them! (Man-Ray shows a check-book with drawings of poodles. He takes his head off and gives it to SpongeBob) I won't be needing this anymore. Farewell, fellow do-gooder. (walks off). 

'''SpongeBob:''' Bye, Man-Ray! Wow. We did it! Just like the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. We saved the day. Isn't it incredible, Patrick? Patrick? 

'''Patrick''': Uhh... (still has a confused look on his face).

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you know that thing's turned off, right? Patrick? Yoo-hoo? Patrick?!

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Episode Transcript: I’m Your Biggest Fanatic

2022-11-28T00:15:29Z

135.26.76.254: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Fan]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: No Free Rides|No Free Rides]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III]]
|}

Episode Article: [[I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*Guard
*[[Kevin the Sea Cucumber]] (debut)
*[[Jellyfish King|King Jellyfish]] (debut)
*[[Big Lenny]] (in a picture)
*[[Dr. Manowar]]
*[[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]

==Dialogue==
(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the Jellyfish Convention, where everything is about jellyfish. SpongeBob is wearing a jellyfish hat, Patrick is wearing a net on his head)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the biannual Jellyfish Convention!

'''Patrick:''' Jellyfish are awesome!

'''SpongeBob:''' Cool! State-of-the-art jellyfish nets! (Patrick touches one)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! The harpoon from ''Jellyfish: The Movie''! (Patrick touches it)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a crowd, watching a fish with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean jellyfish picture on it)

'''SpongeBob:''' Look! Dr. Manowar! They guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!

'''Dr. Manowar:''' And now it only hurts when you touch it. (Patrick goes up and touches the bump on his head. Screams in pain)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Do I have to follow you all day?

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick, look! Can it be?

'''Patrick:''' Ice cream?

'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's the Jellyspotters! (we see a crowd of people around a group of fish and a sea cucumber, obviously the
leader. He has glasses and a crown thing coming from his head) Bikini Bottom's premier jellyfish enthusiast club! Aah! And
their leader! The coolest jellyfish enthusiast ever... (close up on the cucumber) Kevin the Sea Cucumber!

'''Patrick:''' What's so great about a nerdy pickle?

'''SpongeBob:''' If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me.

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. (a guy in a giant jellyfish costume walks by. Patrick gasps) Oh my gosh! [[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! (runs after him, followed by the guard. Cut back to the Jellyspotters)

'''Kevin C. Cucumber:''' Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. (the crowd furiously writes notes)

'''Crowd:''' (all muttering as they write) Composite materials?

'''Kevin:''' Next question. (the crowd furiously writes notes again)

'''Crowd:''' (all muttering again) Next question?

'''SpongeBob:''' (pops out in front of the crowd, his pupils are huge and he speaks as if in a trance) Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Hi. What is your question?

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Whatever. Next question, please. (points to the other side of the crowd. SpongeBob pops up there too)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Hello loser. All right, you, waaaay in the back.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pops up in the back) Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Does anyone here have an actual? (we hear SpongeBob heavily breathing from the left. Kevin and the rest turn to see him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.

'''Kevin:''' You're too kind. Security!

'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait! I would do anything for you!

'''Kevin:''' Why don't you go jump off a building? (we hear SpongeBob's screams and see him fall from the view through the window. Then SpongeBob appears back in the building)

'''SpongeBob:''' Anything?

'''Kevin:''' Punch yourself in the face. (SpongeBob does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit) Doesn't that hurt you?

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up a metal glove with spiked knuckles) Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin? (the Jellyspotters all laugh)

'''Kevin:''' That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy jellyfishing with us!

'''Fish:''' No, Kevin, no. He's a geek.

'''Kevin:''' (whispering) Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he
goes running home like a baby.

'''Fish:''' Meep-meep, Kevin's a genius. (the other fish join in repeatedly saying so)

'''Kevin:''' Hey kid, how would you like to try out for the Jellyspotters?

'''SpongeBob:''' (on a hospital bed. The doctor fish zaps him with the defibrillator and SpongeBob jumps up) I'd love it! (bubble-wipe to Kevin and the fish supposedly walking through Jellyfish Fields (we can't see their legs)

'''Kevin:''' Ah, nothing like driving through Jellyfish Fields with the top down, eh, Jellyspotters? (the fish meep in agreement. Pan down to see that SpongeBob is carrying them. He stops)

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, here we are, Jellyfish Fields. (collapses. The Jellyspotters get off)

'''Kevin:''' I hope you didn't forget our nets.

'''SpongeBob:''' I didn't forget them, Kevin. They're in the trunk. (turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a trunk. The group takes the nets and jars out, revealing SpongeBob's buttocks. SpongeBob now has all the nets and jars in his arms) I can't believe I'm actually out here with the Jellyspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Jellyspotter? (starts to vibrate and jump around) and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the jellyfish and I'm with Kevin and Kevin's with me and we're all with each other and we're all jellyfishing and it's fun and...

'''Kevin:''' Hold it! (SpongeBob freezes, literally) Before you become a Jellyspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. (the fish repeat "meep, rigorous test") Quiet, shh! Your first test: catch a jellyfish. (a jellyfish flies into SpongeBob's net)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I caught one! Am I a Jellyspotter now?

'''Fish:''' One jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep-meep.

'''Kevin:''' Uh, that doesn't count. (slaps the net and the jellyfish stings him; it flies away. Kevin grows a giant red sore
where he got stung)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' I meant two jellyfish! (two jellyfish fly in SpongeBob's net)

'''Fish:''' Two jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep.

'''Kevin:''' That's not what I meant. I meant 20 jellyfish! (a whole load of jellyfish fly into SpongeBob's net)

'''SpongeBob:''' (counting) Let's see, one, two, three? (Kevin kicks the net, causing all the jellyfish to sting him. He now has a bunch of sores)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha! (bubble-wipe to the fields, where Kevin has a jar of jelly)

'''Kevin:''' Jellyspotters allow jellyfish to eat jelly off their face. (smears some jelly on SpongeBob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who wants to lick my cheeks? (some jellyfish swim by) I see I have some takers.

'''Kevin:''' How does it feel? (SpongeBob now has jellyfish on his face, put together in the form of a mustache and beard. He laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' It tickles my nose!

'''Kevin:''' Not for long. (he and the Jellyspotters snicker. SpongeBob sneezes and all of the jellyfish fly onto Kevin's eyes. They sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' (turns to the fish making that taunting noise) Will you cut that out?

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now?

'''Kevin:''' No! I have many more tests for you to take! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking upside-down, with a net and a jellyfish)

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's nose, making it big and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob having caught a jellyfish blindfolded)

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's crown and it becomes swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (we hear zapping sounds. Now Kevin's ears are big and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob again)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (more zapping noises. Kevin's lips are now huge and swollen) 

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to SpongeBob once more)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard. Kevin's behind is now huge and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' NO!

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard. Now, Kevin is just a big swollen sea cucumber thing)

'''Kevin:''' All right, SquarePants, it is your turn to get zapped! I mean, are you ready for your final test?

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm ready!

'''Kevin:''' You'd better be, because we're going to catch a queen jellyfish.

'''SpongeBob:''' A queen? Ooh, can I help?

'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks)

'''SpongeBob:''' This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen jellyfish either.

'''Kevin:''' Well, then you've probably never used a queen jellyfish call. Why don't you try it out? (hands him a blower thing. SpongeBob blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like "Loser")

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I've heard this call before.

'''Kevin:''' I'll bet you have. (the Jellyspotters walk off)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, where are you going?

'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. (they kneel down behind it. Gets zapped again. Stands up covered in sores while a jellyfish flies off) Who's got my sting ointment? (kneels down again)

'''SpongeBob:''' This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official jellyfish spotter! (continues to blow that horn
thing, which keeps saying "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing) Hey Kevin, I don't think it's working.
Nothing? (a giant shadow looms over SpongeBob. Looks up to find a giant jellyfish with a tiara. It's the mechanic
[[Jellyfish Queen]]) Hey, hey Kevin! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Kevin! She's here? (the bush blows away, revealing nothing except Kevin's ointment. Screams and the jellyfish zaps the poles off. Runs up and down hills, dodging the jellyfish's stingers. Comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. Begs on his hands and knees) Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! (cries. Just then, a screen on the jellyfish opens, revealing Kevin and the Jellyspotters. They laugh. SpongeBob gasps) Kevin!

'''Kevin:''' That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you!

'''SpongeBob:''' But, what about my final test? (they all laugh)

'''Kevin:''' Did you think we'd actually let you into the Jellyspotters?

'''SpongeBob:''' But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!

'''Kevin:''' So were they. (points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of people are by a fire. One looks up)

'''Guy:''' Look everybody, Kevin's back! (they all yell up at him in praise)

'''Kevin:''' You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call! (imitating) Loser, loser, loser loser loser!

'''SpongeBob:''' I am not a loser!

'''Kevin:''' Loooooser! (as Kevin continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, jellyfish comes from the cliff. It is wearing a robe and a crown. The Jellyspotters finally notice) Nideria Rex!

'''SpongeBob:''' King Jellyfish! (the king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. He grows lips and puckers up)

'''Kevin:''' Kissyface! (the queen flies off and SpongeBob runs. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for Kevin's Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Kevin, the Jellyspotters, and SpongeBob)

'''King Jellyfish:''' (angrily) Keeeee-viiiiin! (zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. Comes back with a helmet and American Football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Jellyspotters and SpongeBob are pretty scared. The bashing stops)

'''Kevin:''' I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. (the Jellyspotters push one fish out of the cave to see. The fish
looks around and "meep-meep"s happily, giving the all-clear. Soon, however, he's zapped and "meep-meep"s not to come out. All the fish go around Kevin asking what to do) Don't look at me! I was only in this for the fashion! (close up on Kevin's pants, with patches, stickers and a toy jellyfish coming out of his pocket) It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! (sits down and curls to a ball) Help me mommy, help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie!

'''SpongeBob:''' (to fishes) Now what do we do? (the fish get down and imitate Kevin. Goes out to face the king. The king growls and buzzes. Takes out some bubbles)

'''King Jellyfish:''' What the...? (SpongeBob blows out one in the shape of a giant cherry pie) Mmmmmm. Yummy! (The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. The fishes come out and gather around SpongeBob. Kevin follows)

'''Kevin:''' I can't believe it! How did you know?

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Everybody loves pie!

'''Fish:''' (ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' Well, SquarePants, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen jellyfish. (the other Jellyspotters narrow their eyes and run over to Kevin, off-screen) Wait, what are you doing? (a ripping soun is heard and Kevin screams. The fish run back with Kevin's crown and place it on SpongeBob. He laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, I didn't know this was a hat! (Kevin stands in agony, both for emotional and physical reasons)

'''Kevin:''' (teary-eyed) It wasn't... (cross-fade to back at the convention. SpongeBob talks to Patrick)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Hi, SpongeBob! Did you get into that club?

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Kevin, it's about jellyfish!

'''Patrick:''' Well, SpongeBob, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (zoom out to see that Patrick has Jeffrey Jellyfish tied up in a wagon he's towing) Hero worship is unhealthy. (the two walk off) C'mon, Jeffrey.

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: I’m Your Biggest Fanatic

2022-11-28T00:14:30Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Fan]]
{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: No Free Rides|No Free Rides]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III]]
|}

Episode Article: [[I'm Your Biggest Fanatic]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*Guard
*[[Kevin the Sea Cucumber]] (debut)
*[[Jellyfish King|King Jellyfish]] (debut)
*[[Big Lenny]] (in a picture)
*[[Dr. Manowar]]
*[[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]

==Dialogue==
(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the Jellyfish Convention, where everything is about jellyfish. SpongeBob is wearing a jellyfish hat, Patrick is wearing a net on his head)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the biannual Jellyfish Convention!

'''Patrick:''' Jellyfish are awesome!

'''SpongeBob:''' Cool! State-of-the-art jellyfish nets! (Patrick touches one)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! The harpoon from ''Jellyfish: The Movie''! (Patrick touches it)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a crowd, watching a fish with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean jellyfish picture on it)

'''SpongeBob:''' Look! Dr. Manowar! They guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!

'''Dr. Manowar:''' And now it only hurts when you touch it. (Patrick goes up and touches the bump on his head. Screams in pain)

'''Patrick:''' Touch.

'''Guard:''' Do I have to follow you all day?

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick, look! Can it be?

'''Patrick:''' Ice cream?

'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's the Jellyspotters! (we see a crowd of people around a group of fish and a sea cucumber, obviously the
leader. He has glasses and a crown thing coming from his head) Bikini Bottom's premier jellyfish enthusiast club! Aah! And
their leader! The coolest jellyfish enthusiast ever... (close up on the cucumber) Kevin the Sea Cucumber!

'''Patrick:''' What's so great about a nerdy pickle?

'''SpongeBob:''' If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me.

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. (a guy in a giant jellyfish costume walks by. Patrick gasps) Oh my gosh! [[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! (runs after him, followed by the guard. Cut back to the Jellyspotters)

'''Kevin:''' Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. (the crowd furiously writes notes)

'''Crowd:''' (all muttering as they write) Composite materials?

'''Kevin:''' Next question. (the crowd furiously writes notes again)

'''Crowd:''' (all muttering again) Next question?

'''SpongeBob:''' (pops out in front of the crowd, his pupils are huge and he speaks as if in a trance) Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Hi. What is your question?

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Whatever. Next question, please. (points to the other side of the crowd. SpongeBob pops up there too)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Hello loser. All right, you, waaaay in the back.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pops up in the back) Hi Kevin.

'''Kevin:''' Does anyone here have an actual? (we hear SpongeBob heavily breathing from the left. Kevin and the rest turn to see him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.

'''Kevin:''' You're too kind. Security!

'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait! I would do anything for you!

'''Kevin:''' Why don't you go jump off a building? (we hear SpongeBob's screams and see him fall from the view through the window. Then SpongeBob appears back in the building)

'''SpongeBob:''' Anything?

'''Kevin:''' Punch yourself in the face. (SpongeBob does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit) Doesn't that hurt you?

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up a metal glove with spiked knuckles) Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin? (the Jellyspotters all laugh)

'''Kevin:''' That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy jellyfishing with us!

'''Fish:''' No, Kevin, no. He's a geek.

'''Kevin:''' (whispering) Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he
goes running home like a baby.

'''Fish:''' Meep-meep, Kevin's a genius. (the other fish join in repeatedly saying so)

'''Kevin:''' Hey kid, how would you like to try out for the Jellyspotters?

'''SpongeBob:''' (on a hospital bed. The doctor fish zaps him with the defibrillator and SpongeBob jumps up) I'd love it! (bubble-wipe to Kevin and the fish supposedly walking through Jellyfish Fields (we can't see their legs)

'''Kevin:''' Ah, nothing like driving through Jellyfish Fields with the top down, eh, Jellyspotters? (the fish meep in agreement. Pan down to see that SpongeBob is carrying them. He stops)

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, here we are, Jellyfish Fields. (collapses. The Jellyspotters get off)

'''Kevin:''' I hope you didn't forget our nets.

'''SpongeBob:''' I didn't forget them, Kevin. They're in the trunk. (turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a trunk. The group takes the nets and jars out, revealing SpongeBob's buttocks. SpongeBob now has all the nets and jars in his arms) I can't believe I'm actually out here with the Jellyspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Jellyspotter? (starts to vibrate and jump around) and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the jellyfish and I'm with Kevin and Kevin's with me and we're all with each other and we're all jellyfishing and it's fun and...

'''Kevin:''' Hold it! (SpongeBob freezes, literally) Before you become a Jellyspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. (the fish repeat "meep, rigorous test") Quiet, shh! Your first test: catch a jellyfish. (a jellyfish flies into SpongeBob's net)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I caught one! Am I a Jellyspotter now?

'''Fish:''' One jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep-meep.

'''Kevin:''' Uh, that doesn't count. (slaps the net and the jellyfish stings him; it flies away. Kevin grows a giant red sore
where he got stung)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' I meant two jellyfish! (two jellyfish fly in SpongeBob's net)

'''Fish:''' Two jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep.

'''Kevin:''' That's not what I meant. I meant 20 jellyfish! (a whole load of jellyfish fly into SpongeBob's net)

'''SpongeBob:''' (counting) Let's see, one, two, three? (Kevin kicks the net, causing all the jellyfish to sting him. He now has a bunch of sores)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha! (bubble-wipe to the fields, where Kevin has a jar of jelly)

'''Kevin:''' Jellyspotters allow jellyfish to eat jelly off their face. (smears some jelly on SpongeBob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who wants to lick my cheeks? (some jellyfish swim by) I see I have some takers.

'''Kevin:''' How does it feel? (SpongeBob now has jellyfish on his face, put together in the form of a mustache and beard. He laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' It tickles my nose!

'''Kevin:''' Not for long. (he and the Jellyspotters snicker. SpongeBob sneezes and all of the jellyfish fly onto Kevin's eyes. They sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes)

'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' (turns to the fish making that taunting noise) Will you cut that out?

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now?

'''Kevin:''' No! I have many more tests for you to take! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking upside-down, with a net and a jellyfish)

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's nose, making it big and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob having caught a jellyfish blindfolded)

'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's crown and it becomes swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (we hear zapping sounds. Now Kevin's ears are big and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob again)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (more zapping noises. Kevin's lips are now huge and swollen) 

'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to SpongeBob once more)

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard. Kevin's behind is now huge and swollen)

'''Kevin:''' NO!

'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard. Now, Kevin is just a big swollen sea cucumber thing)

'''Kevin:''' All right, SquarePants, it is your turn to get zapped! I mean, are you ready for your final test?

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm ready!

'''Kevin:''' You'd better be, because we're going to catch a queen jellyfish.

'''SpongeBob:''' A queen? Ooh, can I help?

'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks)

'''SpongeBob:''' This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen jellyfish either.

'''Kevin:''' Well, then you've probably never used a queen jellyfish call. Why don't you try it out? (hands him a blower thing. SpongeBob blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like "Loser")

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I've heard this call before.

'''Kevin:''' I'll bet you have. (the Jellyspotters walk off)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, where are you going?

'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. (they kneel down behind it. Gets zapped again. Stands up covered in sores while a jellyfish flies off) Who's got my sting ointment? (kneels down again)

'''SpongeBob:''' This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official jellyfish spotter! (continues to blow that horn
thing, which keeps saying "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing) Hey Kevin, I don't think it's working.
Nothing? (a giant shadow looms over SpongeBob. Looks up to find a giant jellyfish with a tiara. It's the mechanic
[[Jellyfish Queen]]) Hey, hey Kevin! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Kevin! She's here? (the bush blows away, revealing nothing except Kevin's ointment. Screams and the jellyfish zaps the poles off. Runs up and down hills, dodging the jellyfish's stingers. Comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. Begs on his hands and knees) Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! (cries. Just then, a screen on the jellyfish opens, revealing Kevin and the Jellyspotters. They laugh. SpongeBob gasps) Kevin!

'''Kevin:''' That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you!

'''SpongeBob:''' But, what about my final test? (they all laugh)

'''Kevin:''' Did you think we'd actually let you into the Jellyspotters?

'''SpongeBob:''' But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!

'''Kevin:''' So were they. (points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of people are by a fire. One looks up)

'''Guy:''' Look everybody, Kevin's back! (they all yell up at him in praise)

'''Kevin:''' You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call! (imitating) Loser, loser, loser loser loser!

'''SpongeBob:''' I am not a loser!

'''Kevin:''' Loooooser! (as Kevin continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, jellyfish comes from the cliff. It is wearing a robe and a crown. The Jellyspotters finally notice) Nideria Rex!

'''SpongeBob:''' King Jellyfish! (the king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. He grows lips and puckers up)

'''Kevin:''' Kissyface! (the queen flies off and SpongeBob runs. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for Kevin's Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Kevin, the Jellyspotters, and SpongeBob)

'''King Jellyfish:''' (angrily) Keeeee-viiiiin! (zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. Comes back with a helmet and American Football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Jellyspotters and SpongeBob are pretty scared. The bashing stops)

'''Kevin:''' I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. (the Jellyspotters push one fish out of the cave to see. The fish
looks around and "meep-meep"s happily, giving the all-clear. Soon, however, he's zapped and "meep-meep"s not to come out. All the fish go around Kevin asking what to do) Don't look at me! I was only in this for the fashion! (close up on Kevin's pants, with patches, stickers and a toy jellyfish coming out of his pocket) It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! (sits down and curls to a ball) Help me mommy, help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie!

'''SpongeBob:''' (to fishes) Now what do we do? (the fish get down and imitate Kevin. Goes out to face the king. The king growls and buzzes. Takes out some bubbles)

'''King Jellyfish:''' What the...? (SpongeBob blows out one in the shape of a giant cherry pie) Mmmmmm. Yummy! (The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. The fishes come out and gather around SpongeBob. Kevin follows)

'''Kevin:''' I can't believe it! How did you know?

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Everybody loves pie!

'''Fish:''' (ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

'''Kevin:''' Well, SquarePants, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen jellyfish. (the other Jellyspotters narrow their eyes and run over to Kevin, off-screen) Wait, what are you doing? (a ripping soun is heard and Kevin screams. The fish run back with Kevin's crown and place it on SpongeBob. He laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, I didn't know this was a hat! (Kevin stands in agony, both for emotional and physical reasons)

'''Kevin:''' (teary-eyed) It wasn't... (cross-fade to back at the convention. SpongeBob talks to Patrick)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Hi, SpongeBob! Did you get into that club?

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Kevin, it's about jellyfish!

'''Patrick:''' Well, SpongeBob, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (zoom out to see that Patrick has Jeffrey Jellyfish tied up in a wagon he's towing) Hero worship is unhealthy. (the two walk off) C'mon, Jeffrey.

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Survival of the Idiots

2022-11-28T00:08:37Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Christmas Who?|Christmas Who?]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Dumped|Dumped]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Survival of the Idiots (Episode)|Survival of the Idiots]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**PatBack (only appearance)
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
**Sheriff Sandy (only appearance)
*[[Dirty Dan|Dirty Dan]] (debut, mentioned)
*[[Pinhead Larry|Pinhead Larry]] (debut, mentioned)

==Dialogue==
(SpongeBob and Patrick are running down the block jumping up and down, disfiguring themselves in the process. They're shouting assorted things about going to Sandy's house)

'''SpongeBob & Patrick:''' We're going to Sandy's house horray! All right, Sandy we're coming to your house, horray!

'''SpongeBob:''' Huh?

(they stop in mid-run when they see Sandy's treedome is enclosed with metal walls. The two walk up to the door, which has a "Keep Out" sign on it)

===The Eating Channel===
'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy? (they enter) Hey Sandy, what's with the sign?

(the two walk up to a TV, which shows Sandy in a nightgown eating acorns)

'''Patrick:''' Look, she's on the Eating Channel.

'''Sandy:''' (on TV) Howdy! (eats another acorn) If y'all are watching this, that means I'm asleep for the winter. This sleep is called hibernation. ("HIBERNATION" appears on the bottom of the screen) During hibernation, animals don't like to be woken up. So, do not disturb. (sternly) That means you, SpongeBob. (Patrick turns the TV off and puts on SpongeBob's water helmet and his own)

===Snow in the Treedome===
'''Patrick:''' We better put these on.

'''SpongeBob:''' Never mind, Pat. Sandy said not to come in. Let's am-scray.

(Patrick pushes the button, letting all the water drain out of the front foyer)

'''Patrick:''' When are you gonna learn, SpongeBob? "No" means "yes"!

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, listen, how many times do we have to...

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, look at this! (Sandy's treedome is covered in snow and it's snowing. SpongeBob gasps and walks in)

'''SpongeBob:''' What is this stuff? (pan around the treedome)

'''Patrick:''' It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading, fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort, as you've never felt before.

'''SpongeBob:''' (teary-eyed) Wow, Patrick. That was beautiful!

'''Patrick:''' What, I was just reading this candy wrapper, see? (hands SpongeBob the wrapper. SpongeBob gasps)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! Put your helmet back on! (Patrick has taken his helmet off and is eating the snowflakes) You know there's no water in Sandy's house!

'''Patrick:''' It's okay, SpongeBob. This stuff ''is'' water! Look! (lets a flake land on his tongue. It melts into water)

'''SpongeBob:''' I guess you're right. It's okay here!

'''Patrick:''' Take it off. No one's looking. (SpongeBob takes his helmet off and the two cheer and burrow themselves in the snow. They pop back up with noses made of snow. Then they hear a weird sound, like Sandy snoring)

===Snorin' Sandy===
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, did you hear that?

'''SpongeBob:''' I think it came from Sandy's tree.

'''Patrick:''' That is one tired tree.

'''SpongeBob:''' Let's check it out. (cut to inside Sandy's tree, where SpongeBob and Patrick come in. They both gasp) Look what's in Sandy's bed! (they walk over to the bed, where Sandy is asleep in hibernation form, looking like some weird squirrel-like monster)

'''Patrick:''' It looks like an over-inflated Sandy doll.

'''SpongeBob:''' I think this thing is Sandy!

'''Patrick:''' Hibernation must mean the opposite of beauty sleep.

'''Sandy:''' (snoring, talking in sleep) I've had enough of your dastardly deeds, Dirty Dan. I'm gonna get you and your partner, Pinhead Larry or my name ain't Sheriff Sandy. (snores)

'''SpongeBob:''' (giggles) She must be dreaming about Texas outlaws. (the two giggle) Look out Sandy, I'm Dirty Dan.

'''Sandy:''' I'm gonna catch you and throw you in jail at taxpayers' expense.

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, you better run faster, Sandy.

'''Patrick:''' Yeah! I'm getting away! Faster! (Sandy moves her arms and legs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hurry! We're getting in a taxi!

'''Patrick:''' Faster, faster! (the two giggle)

'''Sandy:''' I'll get you two. You're nothing but pure evil! Just like newspaper comics. (snores off to sleep. The two giggle again)

'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Patrick. We shouldn't disturb her anymore.

'''Patrick:''' That's not disturbing. ''This'' is disturbing. (struggles to create a talking face that protrudes from his back) Hi there, Sponge...Bob. My name is... PatBack!

'''SpongeBob:''' Ha! That ''is'' really disturbing! (the two laugh uncontrollably. Cut to Sandy. Her eye shoots open. A giant shadow looms over SpongeBob and Patrick. Patrick stops laughing, while SpongeBob continues to laugh)

'''Patrick:''' Umm, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' (stops laughing) Huh? (Sandy is really mad now; she's steaming red and roaring. SpongeBob and Patrick run, but Sandy has them both by the britches. They run in mid-air anyway)

'''Patrick:''' Faster, SpongeBob! She's gaining on us!

'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy, no! Stop!

'''Sandy:''' I warned ya, Dirty Dan! Now you've just crossed the border into Hurtville!

'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy, it's us! Your friends, SpongeBob and Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Please Sandy, I can't afford dry-cleaning!

'''Sandy:''' Gonna skin ya and make a pair of size six...boots. (falls asleep and drops the two. They inch away and see Sandy fall back into her bed)

'''Patrick:''' Fun's over.

'''SpongeBob:''' Whew, we sure don't want to wake her up again. Too bad we don't have any earplugs to put on her.

'''Patrick:''' Yeah, all's I got is this bellybutton lint. (he takes the lint out of its designated area. It somehow forms into the shape of earmuffs)

'''SpongeBob:''' All right, Pat!

===The Fight Over Dirty Dan===
(SpongeBob takes the earmuffs and crawls over to the bed. Patrick follows. SpongeBob puts the earmuffs on Sandy)

'''Sandy:''' I'm gonna rip your arms off...flapjacks. (snores)

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that oughta work.

'''Patrick:''' (loudly) Hey Sandy, does it work? (SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other and raise their eyebrows repeatedly and in symmetry)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Sandy, if you can't hear us, don't say anything!

'''Patrick:''' Hey Sandy! Don't wake up! (the two giggle. SpongeBob takes a megaphone up to Sandy and yells into it)

'''SpongeBob:''' See ya later, ''Sheriff'' Sandy! (laughs. The two run down to the snowy plains and act like outlaws, with that drawling voice) You're under a-rest!

'''Patrick:''' You-ll na-ver catch me! (giggles. Makes a snowball and throws it at SpongeBob's face. They both laugh. Starts to make another one, but he's hit by a giant mound of snow, which SpongeBob fired from a giant snow cannon) Hey, that's not fair! Cowboys couldn't afford cannons.

'''SpongeBob:''' They couldn't afford station wagons either! (shoots one out at Patrick)

'''Patrick:''' Nice paneling.

'''SpongeBob:''' All right, Pinhead. Your time is up! (cut to Patrick, who looks like a cone-head)

'''Patrick:''' Who you calling Pinhead? (shows a face of Patrick looking like a dork) I want to be Dirty Dan!

'''SpongeBob:''' What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?

'''Patrick:''' I'm dirty... dagle! (gets hit on the head by a giant snow shovel that SpongeBob has)

'''SpongeBob:''' I say I'm Dirty Dan. (Patrick runs off and returns with a giant bat with a nail in it, made of snow. He whacks SpongeBob with it)

'''Patrick:''' I say I'm Dirty Dan!

'''SpongeBob''' (hits Patrick with shovel again) I say I'm Dirty Dan! (the two repeatedly hit each other, arguing about who Dirty Dan is. Inside the tree, Sandy humbly sleeps... that is, until the lint earmuffs fall off. Cut back to outside, where SpongeBob screams when he sees something)

'''Patrick:''' Screaming will get you no- (Sandy's arm reaches out, grabs Patrick's forehead, and rips it off. We see Sandy is really ticked off now)

'''Sandy:''' WHICH ONE OF YOU FELLARS IS THE REAL DIRTY DAN?

'''Patrick:''' Uh... I am? (Sandy slaps Patrick all the way across the treedome)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! (Patrick slams against the dome. Little drumsticks float around his head)

'''Patrick:''' Hot wings... (cut back to Sandy and SpongeBob)

'''Sandy:''' Okay, Pinhead Larry, now you get yours! (SpongeBob screams loudly and runs off. Pounds the ground where he was standing; bellowing) ''PINHEAAAAAAAD!!!'' (SpongeBob whimpers and runs. Sandy is close behind. SpongeBob later doesn't seem to be going far because he's right in front of Sandy on the exercise wheel. He slips and gets flung across the wheel. He flies off and slams into the picnic table, leaving a giant crater in its place. Leans over the crater) Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead! (SpongeBob picks up a wooden board)

'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy, stay back. I'm warning ya! (Sandy roars right in SpongeBob's face) Okay, I warned ya! (throws the wooden board. Patrick pops up for no reason)

'''Patrick:''' Did you win? (gets hit by the board and rolls down the crater to SpongeBob's feet) Hi SpongeBob. (Sandy leaps down the crater. SpongeBob and Patrick scream as a giant cloud simulating a fight appears)

===Nighttime===
(cross-fade to the treedome at night, where two gravestones are in front of Sandy's: one for Dirty Dan, and one for Pinhead Larry. Patrick and SpongeBob come up from under the snow in respective tombstone order)

'''Patrick:''' Okay, SpongeBob, you can be Dirty Dan. I just want to be Patrick!

'''SpongeBob:''' Let's get out of here before Sandy wakes up again! (the two run to the door, and SpongeBob tries his best to open it. Arm loses its grip and smacks Patrick in the face) Sorry Patrick, but the door is slippery! It's frozen shut!

'''Patrick:''' Let me have a try. (goes up to the door and spits on both hands, preparing to open the door) Open sesame! (nothing happens. Patrick shrugs) Well, I've done all I can do.

'''SpongeBob:''' Then we're stuck in here, until the door thaws... in spring.

'''Patrick:''' Barnacles! (cross-fade to much later, where SpongeBob and Patrick are completely buried in snow, shivering and blue) Is it spring yet?

'''SpongeBob:''' N-n-n-no. (Patrick and SpongeBob's snow covering on their faces breaks off)

'''Patrick:''' I'm so cold that I'm shivering! (a piece of Patrick's side of his head cracks off, revealing his brain)

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm so cold that I can use my nose drippings as a pair of chopsticks! (snaps off his two nose drippings and clicks them together)

'''Patrick:''' I'm so cold that... I'm shivering!

'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe we should build a fire. I got it! We'll burn the bark from Sandy's tree! (begins to pull a strip of bark off the tree, but he's stopped by Sandy's booming voice)

'''Sandy:''' (off-screen) You're gonna be wearing an iron lung when I'm through with you, Pinhead! (quickly puts the strip back on and masking-tapes it on. Goes back to Patrick)

'''SpongeBob:''' The fire's not going to happen, Patrick. I don't get it! How does Sandy survive these intense conditions every year?

'''Patrick:''' Maybe she just ignores it.

'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe...

'''Patrick:''' Maybe...

===Sandy's Fur===
'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe it's her fur! (cut to a shot of a real-life squirrel)

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' YEAH!!! (cut to inside the tree, where Sponge and Pat marvel at Sandy's fur)

'''SpongeBob:''' Look at all that warm, toasty fur!

'''Patrick:''' It's like a gold mine... but with fur. (SpongeBob ever so slowly goes to pluck a hair off Sandy)

'''SpongeBob:''' Carefully... carefully... (Patrick smacks him)

'''Patrick:''' Come on, do it! I'm freezing here!

'''SpongeBob:''' All right, all right, hang on a second! (plucks one hair off, and Sandy jumps up from her sleep and roars ferociously. Then she goes back to sleep) That should be enough, right? (Patrick takes the hair)

'''Patrick:''' Sponge, I'm a big man. A big...BIG man!

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I guess I've lived a full life! (plucks one more hair, causing the same reaction with Sandy)

'''Patrick:''' This is taking too long! I want the warm now! (takes a piece of masking tape)

'''SpongeBob:''' Pat, no! (Patrick places the masking tape on Sandy and rips it off, leaving a long hole where her fur used to be. Sandy roars and goes back to sleep) Pat, are you crazy? (we see Patrick has placed the fur on his forehead)

'''Patrick:''' No, I'm warm.

'''SpongeBob:''' Lemme see that roll of tape. (as we pan out from the tree, we hear the tape ripping out Sandy's fur and her roaring. Fade to later, where Patrick comes out of the tree with a strip of hair on his forehead and his pants full of fur. SpongeBob comes out with a weird fur hairdo and a goatee)

'''Patrick:''' Man, that fur really hits the spot! No more frozen armpits. (lifts his arm up, revealing fur under it)

'''SpongeBob:''' And this eyebrow/goatee combo works like a charm. This is the best idea we ever had.

'''Patrick:''' You said it!

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm ready for the longest, coldest winter ever!

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Bring it on! (just then, all the snow stops and melts. It's springtime again. Flowers bloom)

===Spring===
'''SpongeBob:''' Spring?

'''Sandy:''' (yawns) Wow, spring already? (SpongeBob and Patrick run frantically to the door, but it hasn't thawed yet)

'''SpongeBob:''' Tartar Sauce! The lock is still frozen!

'''Sandy:''' (off-screen) I sure can't wait to get outside and warm my fur! (SpongeBob and Patrick frantically blow on the door handle until it melts. Sandy peeks out the window) Oh look, it's SpongeBob and Patrick! (with that, Sponge and Patrick start screaming, trying to open the door) Hi guys! (walks over. Sees all the different fur assortments the two are wearing. Looks down at herself in her bikini, sees that all her fur is gone and screams in terror)

'''SpongeBob:''' It's okay, Sandy. Squirrel pattern baldness is quite common in small mammals! (Patrick hides his furry forehead piece. Sandy is really ticked now)

'''Sandy:''' (Turns red) SpongeBob... Patrick...

'''SpongeBob:''' Don't worry, Sandy, we've got you covered. (giggles nervously. Fade to Sandy's arm pouring some lemonade. She giggles)

'''Sandy:''' More lemonade, boys? (cut to see that Patrick is curled around Sandy's head and SpongeBob is curled around Sandy's body, in order to cover up her baldness. The two take a glass)

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Thanks, Sandy.

'''Sandy:''' Spring sure is lovely.

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Life of Crime

2022-11-28T00:05:09Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Pre-Hibernation Week|Pre-Hibernation Week]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Christmas Who?|Christmas Who?]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Life of Crime]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Lou]]
*[[Police|Officer Malley]]
*[[Police|Officer Durado]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]] (mentioned)
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] (mentioned)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (mentioned)
*[[Mrs. Puff|Mrs. Puff]] (mentioned)
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]] (mentioned)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==

(Open at the Krusty Krab. It’s only a shot of the building. A voice comes on from the television playing inside the K.K.) 

'''TV Announcer:''' And now, back to Crustacean Crime Theatre!

(Cut to shot of B/W TV show with a crustacean sleeping on the ocean floor wearing a traditional crab shell called a hermit crab. A bigger crab shows up, laughing menacingly, and steals the little crab’s shell. The little crab wakes up suddenly. The bigger crab
runs away.) 

'''Little Crab:''' Stop! Thief!

(Some policemen show up.) 

'''Cop #1:''' Which way where me times 

'''Little Crab: Uh Oh 

(The policemen run after the thief and catch him. Cut to shot of jail bars going down with the crab little crab behind it) 

(Cut to shot of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick watching the tv) 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What a no-good eel-in-a-kelp that guy was. There ain’t nothing worse than a thief. Thieves need to be locked up
forever. They should all be strung up by their gills and forced to breathe air. 

'''SpongeBob:''' But, Mr. Krabs, what about all the stuff you stole? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What do you mean? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (points to barrel Mr. Krabs is standing on) Like that barrel. It says property of Salty Sea Farms. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (jumps off of barrel) Oh, that’s where I rent me pickles from. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you renting the barrel, too? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, no. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Then you bought it? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Then, isn’t that stealing? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I, uhh… 

'''Patrick''': (holds up a hot boiling towel from the “Sizzling Spring Sauna”) What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Umm… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up phone)…And this Bikini Bell phone? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I… 

'''Patrick''': (holds up hedge clippers) …And Sandy’s hedge clippers? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, there… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up mini-lawn mower) …And Plankton’s lawn mower? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, he… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up hair curlers) Even Mr.s. Puff’s hair curlers? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (grabs it) That one was a gift! Listen, all that stuff is, uhh, borrowed! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Borrowed? Well, that’s a relief. I thought you took it without permission. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahh, permission’s permission. You can borrow anything you want, anytime, as long as if you give it back before
it’s missed. Everyone knows that. Right? 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' (raises fist in air) O.k. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' All right then! (Hugs them) Hugs! (Shoves them out of the K.K.) You put in a hard day’s work, boys. 

'''Patrick''': But I don’t work here! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' See you later! (Takes out Mrs. Puff’s hair curlers) Oh, that was a close one. 

(Bubbles go up as the scene changes to Bikini Bottom Park, where people are frolicking and gamboling around. SpongeBob
and Patrick walk around slouching, making them look like idiots’. They talk like one, too.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' What do you want to do today? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

(Patrick stops after SpongeBob) 

'''Patrick''': Wait SpongeBob. Is there store balloons (gasp) I know what I want to do today! I need some money. (Patrick looks in both his empty pockets, and then
decides to look in his belly button. All that is there are some lint, a paper clip and a ticket) Oh, I don’t have any
money! (Pleading to SpongeBob) SpongeBob! I want a balloon really, really badly! (His eye veins start growing.) REALLY,
REALLY BADLY! (Backs off) 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s okay, Patrick. There’s lots of money in the First National Bank of SpongeBob. (Makes a rainbow appear out
of nowhere. They jump on the rainbow and travel to the other side, where a black pot can be found. SpongeBob picks it up
and turns it over. Nothing.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh oh, I’m broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward? 

''''''Patrick''': '''No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don’t we just borrow the balloon!? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, like Mr. Krabs! 

'''Patrick''': It’s just borrowing, right? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, and borrowing is okay as long as we bring it back, right? 

''''''Patrick''': Right! 

(SpongeBob swiftly, but smoothly grabs the balloon while the balloon salesman gives a kid a balloon. They run off to the
city to play with it.) 

'''Patrick''': This is so great! 

'''SpongeBob:''' We’re going to have so much fun! First we can run with the balloon! 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, then we can take a bike ride with the balloon, then we can go to the movies and the arcade and the zoo and the ice rink and the pizza shop! 

'''Patrick''': And the moon and the sky and under a car, behind the dumpster! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And the candy shop! 

'''Patrick''': And then my backyard! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And in a plane! 

'''Patrick''': And over a rock! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And under a hill! 

'''Patrick''': And with a whale! 

'''SpongeBob and '''Patrick''':''' We love borrowing! 

(Before SpongeBob and Patrick can do anything about it, an unseen archer pops the balloon with a bow and arrow. Both of them look flabbergasted and sullen.) 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (both imitate the others facial expressions) Sing' A Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as float 

'''Patrick''': How are we going to return it now SpongeBob!? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (On the ground, picking up the balloon shards) I got the pieces! 

'''Patrick''': (put his hands in the, umm, “air”) I got the air! 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (The two hectically try to put the two components back together, but can’t.) No More, I Need It! 

'''SpongeBob:''' We popped the balloon! We can’t return it! We’re thieves! We have to confess?! 

'''Patrick''': Confess? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about
some dumb mail fraud scheme or a highjacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they’re going to lock us up forever! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (covering Patrick’s mouth so no one can hear him) You’re right, we’ve just got to keep our heads. Act normal.

(They start acting stupid, body jumping on the ground, wailing and pulling their selves by their tongue) 

'''Pedestrian:''' Wow, street performers! 

(A crowd gathers around admiring the show) 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (yelling) It’s not working!

'''Squidward (offscreen)''' I really thought it would work.

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Ah! 

(They run away, smacking into the balloon cart) 

'''Lou:''' Hi there! 

(They scream and run away. The salesman looks confused) 

'''Lou:''' Hey! Don’t you want a free balloon? It’s National Free Balloon Day! 

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick running) 

'''Patrick''': He’s onto us! 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s not safe for Bikini Bottom anymore. We’ve got to move fast and cover our tracks. 

'''Patrick''': (running while carrying a can of red paint and making a line of red paint on the sand) I’m on it, SpongeBob! 

(Cut to the top of a cliff outside of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob and Patrick are looking at the whole B.B. saddened) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Take a last look Patrick. We can never go back. 

'''Patrick''': (waving) Good-bye Bikini Bottom. 

'''SpongeBob:''' (picking up hobo stick) We’ve only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs. 

'''Patrick''': (Picks up stick with the cloth wrapped around his rock house) Yeah. 

'''SpongeBob:''' We’re going to have to travel lighter. 

(They walk off into the sunset. Cut to next scene. SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting next to a burning fire) 

'''Patrick''': I want to go home. 

'''SpongeBob:''' We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running…running, but at least
it’s warmer on the fire. 

'''Patrick''': Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a… 

(The fire dissolves) 

'''Patrick''': I’m scared, SpongeBob. 

'''SpongeBob:''' No more nice, warm beds. 

'''Patrick''': Uhh! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (saddened) No more Krabby Patties. No more getting mail/nailed. No more Gary. No more movies. No more Squidward. No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs. No more anything! 

'''Patrick''': (crying) I want ice cream! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (sniffling) But it doesn’t have to be all bad, right? I mean, at least we have each other. 

'''Patrick''': (losing sadness) Yeah! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right? 
(A picture of a strong, muscular man shows up. He is wearing shirt nothing but blood-styled pant.) 

'''Muscleman:''' Yeah! Buns and thighs! 

(Back to fire scene) 

'''Patrick''': And the bitter cold, it’s bracing, isn’t it? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (looking like a cubic snowman) Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be…(breaks out of snowman) …fun! (Loosening
tie) We can loosen our ties. 

'''Patrick''': Yeah! (Unloosens tie from his head. The tie was wrapped tightly on his temple. The air bubble stuck in there
deflates. Patrick jumps, waving his hands) And we can fly! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (jumping) Yeah! 

(SpongeBob jumps too close to the edge of the cliff and falls screaming and hit’s the ground with a thud) 

'''SpongeBob:''' (echoing from the bottom) Okay, we can’t still do that. (Coming back to Patrick) But we don’t have to
shave. 

'''Patrick''': I’m way ahead of you buddy (shows SpongeBob his hairy legs) 

'''SpongeBob:''' And you get to talk tough! (Transforming his head into a 10-gallon hat, imitating a cowboy) This town ain’t
big enough for the two of us. 

'''Patrick''': Uh, let me try: Uh…hey punk! (Laughing at himself) 

'''SpongeBob:''' And the best part is: now that we’re felons, we don’t have to return anything we borrowed! 

'''Both:''' (jumping for joy) Yeah! 

'''Patrick''': (points to SpongeBob) And we owe it all to you. 

'''SpongeBob:''' What are you talking about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan. 

'''Patrick''': Doh, I’m nothing but a lot of talk, you’re the one with the sticky fingers. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh, Patrick, you’re the best bad influence ever. 

'''Patrick''': You, too! (Hugs) Oh, and one more thing, I wish we had something to eat, though. 

'''SpongeBob:''' (taking two chocolate bars out of his pants) Look what I’ve got! 

'''Patrick''': (cheering) Rectangles! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Not just any rectangles… candy bars! (Patrick stares at it, amazed) 

'''Patrick''': Ohh! 

'''SpongeBob:''' All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives! (Gives one to Patrick) 

'''Patrick''': Thanks SpongeBob! (Stupidly) I think I’ll eat it now! (Takes big bite of the still-wrapped chocolate bar,
finishes the rest and then sighs) I think I’ll eat it now! (Takes another big bite, but realizes it’s just his hand) Ow!
Where’d my candy bar go? (Starts digging in sand) I must have dropped it! 

'''SpongeBob:''' You just ate it Pat. It’s all over your face. 

'''Patrick''': (still looking) Where’d it go?! I’m gonna to starve! (Digs a big hole) Where’d it go?! 

(The sand from Patrick’s digging-like-a-dog covers SpongeBob. Patrick’s head pops up under SpongeBob) 

'''Patrick''': I can’t find it! Where could it possibly be?! (Looks up and sees SpongeBob with his candy bar) Ah hah! 

'''SpongeBob:''' What? 

'''Patrick''': (jumps out of the hole, points at SpongeBob) You stole my candy bar! 

'''SpongeBob:''' No, I didn’t. 

'''Patrick''': Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? Once a thief always a thief. 

'''SpongeBob:''' You ate yours. (points to his candy bar) This is mine. 

'''Patrick''': You took my only food! (camera pans down to show Patrick’s stomach blasting with cellulite) Now I’m going to starve! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (nicely) Here Patrick, just take half of mine. 

'''Patrick''': Yours? You mean mine! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want it or what? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t want it unless you admit you took it! 

'''SpongeBob:''' This is my candy bar! 

'''Patrick''': Liar, liar, plants for hire! 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s pants on fire Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': Well, you would know, liar. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, if you’re going to be that way, I’ll eat it myself! 

'''Patrick''': You'd better not. 

(SpongeBob rips open the wrapper) 

'''Patrick''': (fiercely) I’m warning you! 

(SpongeBob takes the candy bar closer to his mouth swaying his tongue up and down) 

'''Patrick''': Don’t! 

(SpongeBob moves his tongue closer, barely touching the bar.) 

'''Patrick''': Stop it! 

(SpongeBob chomps lightly on the bar) 

'''Patrick''': Don’t! Ohh! 

(SpongeBob puts the bar in his wide opened mouth, his two teeth go across the surface of the bar, making a string line of
chocolate) 

'''Patrick''': Ahh! 

(SpongeBob puts the bar in his, what would be, ear holes and moves them left to right) 

'''Patrick''': No! 

(SpongeBob licks the bar all around while Patrick screams. Then SpongeBob eats the bar.) 

'''Patrick''': (angrily turns red) You’re a crazy person! I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it? 

'''Patrick''': Ohh, that’s it. 

(Patrick stomps his foot down on the firewood. The fire lights up again. Patrick screams.) 

'''Patrick''': First the balloon, now my candy bar. You’re out of control. I… (menacingly) I’m telling on you! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Not if I tell on you first! (runs away, toward the direction of the B.B. police department) 

'''Patrick''': I’ll beat you there. (runs) 

(The two are in a daftly race to the police department) 

'''SpongeBob:''' You’re going to get in trouble. 

'''Patrick''': No, you are! 

(The two finally reach the B.B.P.D. gasping. They going inside and all start to talk at once.) 

'''Officer Durado:''' What can I do for you boys? 

Both: (they look at each other) We stole a balloon! (they start crying) 

(the policeman looks at them, confused. The second policeman comes up) 

'''Officer Malley:''' What’s the problem here? 

'''Officer Durado:''' Well, it appears these two stole a balloon. 

SpongeBob: (still crying) What are you going to do to us? 

(The policemen, uh, policefish whisper to each other) 

'''Officer Duraldo:''' Okay, follow me. 

(The two are taking into cell 2A and the door is shut on them.) If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. (pauses for
a few) Okay, time’s up. (opens cell) Now, get out. 

SpongeBob: But… But...(yelling) We stole a balloon. 

'''Officer Malley:''' Yeah, on Free Balloon Day! (laughs with coMr.ade) 

(SpongeBob and Patrick are dumbfounded. Cut to scene: Outside of the B.B.P.D.) 

'''Officer Durado:''' (brings out lollipops) How about some lollipops for the roads, boys? 

(They take them) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Let’s vow not to borrow anything without permission again. 

'''Patrick''': You said it. 

(They put both their together, but Patrick’s is already eaten. Patrick’s mouth is covered with some lollipop residue.) 

'''Patrick''': All right! Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop? (Everyone starts laughing.) I mean it! 

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

* "Which one of ya flatfoots stole my lollypop??"

Boating School (Episode)

2022-11-28T00:04:55Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|Boating School|Titlecard Boating School.jpg|4b|1|August 7, 1999|Naughty Nautical Neighbors|Pizza Delivery}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Mrs. Puff|Mary Jo Catlett}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary the Snail|Tom Kenny}}
|- bgcolor="ffffff"
|colspan="2"|[[Image:4b SpongeBob.jpg|center|300px]]
|}

'''Boating School''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 1|Season 1]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Mrs. Puff|Mrs. Puff]] (debut)
*A student who just got his license
*Joe (debut)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
*[[Fred]] (voice)
*Gus
*[[Squidward]] (cameo)

===Places===
*[[Mrs. Puff's Boating School]] (debut)
*[[SpongeBob's House]]
*[[Bikini Bottom Hospital]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob is excited because his Mrs. Puff's Boating School's driving exam is today. He can't even remember how many times he took it, so Gary must remind him. If he passes it, he will get his license. First, he must pass the oral section of the exam. Having taken the exam thirty-seven times previously, SpongeBob is able to answer the questions before they are even asked. However, he panics in the boat and flunks the driving portion of the exam. Later that night, Patrick attempts to cheer SpongeBob up with a "surprise", but SpongeBob is too depressed to laugh. He explains his problem to Patrick and mentions that he needs someone to help him think straight during the exam. Patrick quickly devises a plan. He puts a walkie-talkie inside SpongeBob's head so that he can talk SpongeBob through the test, hiding the antenna with a large cowboy hat.

The next day, SpongeBob goes back to take the test again. When asked to start the boat, he initially panics, but Patrick's instructions keep him calm. This is followed by a video montage of SpongeBob acting the exam, interspersed with shots of Patrick eating SpongeBob's food and reading his diary while helping him. Mrs. Puff is floored by his sudden improvement and jokingly suggests that SpongeBob's success is due to an antenna under his hat through which "some guy miles away is giving him all the answers." SpongeBob (and Patrick) finds this hilarious, until Mrs. Puff concludes, "But that would be cheating!" Upon realizing that he has been cheating, SpongeBob goes into hysterics, driving wildly all over the course and sobbing while Mrs. Puff tries desperately to stop him. He crashes the boat and thus flunks the test yet another time. In the end as Mrs. Puff is about to go to the hospital, SpongeBob apologizes for letting him down, and says he'll try harder next semester.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the first time Fred yells, ''MY LEG!''.
*The creator's name, [[Stephen Hillenburg]], is not mentioned in the opening credits.
*When Mrs. Puff says she is not ready, her brown spots form a square, but when she comes out of the boating school, the bottom middle dot moves up, and when SpongeBob passes the oral exam, the dot moves back to its original position, and yet again, before she starts the boat, the dot moves back up again.
*Fred says "MY LEG!", even though he is not seen anywhere near the boating school.
*When Mrs. Puff gets in the boat, there are only two holes in her helmet, but when SpongeBob is driving the boat, there are three.
*A LEGO set based on this episode was released in 2007.
*This is the first episode to have a montage (SpongeBob driving successfully).
*Although this was done for comedic purposes, in real life Mrs. Puff would have automatically failed SpongeBob if she knew he was cheating.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Boating School|Transcript for Boating School]]

{{Season1}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 1]]
[[de:Prüfungsangst (Episode)]]

Episode Transcript: Life of Crime

2022-11-28T00:03:46Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

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Episode Article: [[Life of Crime]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Lou]]
*[[Police|Officer Malley]]
*[[Police|Officer Durado]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks] (mentioned)
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton] (mentioned)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] (mentioned)
*[[Mrs. Poppy Puff|Mrs. Puff]] (mentioned)
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]] (mentioned)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==

(Open at the Krusty Krab. It’s only a shot of the building. A voice comes on from the television playing inside the K.K.) 

'''TV Announcer:''' And now, back to Crustacean Crime Theatre!

(Cut to shot of B/W TV show with a crustacean sleeping on the ocean floor wearing a traditional crab shell called a hermit crab. A bigger crab shows up, laughing menacingly, and steals the little crab’s shell. The little crab wakes up suddenly. The bigger crab
runs away.) 

'''Little Crab:''' Stop! Thief!

(Some policemen show up.) 

'''Cop #1:''' Which way where me times 

'''Little Crab: Uh Oh 

(The policemen run after the thief and catch him. Cut to shot of jail bars going down with the crab little crab behind it) 

(Cut to shot of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Patrick watching the tv) 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What a no-good eel-in-a-kelp that guy was. There ain’t nothing worse than a thief. Thieves need to be locked up
forever. They should all be strung up by their gills and forced to breathe air. 

'''SpongeBob:''' But, Mr. Krabs, what about all the stuff you stole? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What do you mean? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (points to barrel Mr. Krabs is standing on) Like that barrel. It says property of Salty Sea Farms. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (jumps off of barrel) Oh, that’s where I rent me pickles from. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you renting the barrel, too? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, no. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Then you bought it? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Then, isn’t that stealing? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I, uhh… 

'''Patrick''': (holds up a hot boiling towel from the “Sizzling Spring Sauna”) What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Umm… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up phone)…And this Bikini Bell phone? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I… 

'''Patrick''': (holds up hedge clippers) …And Sandy’s hedge clippers? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, there… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up mini-lawn mower) …And Plankton’s lawn mower? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, he… 

'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up hair curlers) Even Mr.s. Puff’s hair curlers? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (grabs it) That one was a gift! Listen, all that stuff is, uhh, borrowed! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Borrowed? Well, that’s a relief. I thought you took it without permission. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahh, permission’s permission. You can borrow anything you want, anytime, as long as if you give it back before
it’s missed. Everyone knows that. Right? 

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' (raises fist in air) O.k. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' All right then! (Hugs them) Hugs! (Shoves them out of the K.K.) You put in a hard day’s work, boys. 

'''Patrick''': But I don’t work here! 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' See you later! (Takes out Mrs. Puff’s hair curlers) Oh, that was a close one. 

(Bubbles go up as the scene changes to Bikini Bottom Park, where people are frolicking and gamboling around. SpongeBob
and Patrick walk around slouching, making them look like idiots’. They talk like one, too.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' What do you want to do today? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

'''SpongeBob:''' I don’t know. What do you want to do today? 

(Patrick stops after SpongeBob) 

'''Patrick''': Wait SpongeBob. Is there store balloons (gasp) I know what I want to do today! I need some money. (Patrick looks in both his empty pockets, and then
decides to look in his belly button. All that is there are some lint, a paper clip and a ticket) Oh, I don’t have any
money! (Pleading to SpongeBob) SpongeBob! I want a balloon really, really badly! (His eye veins start growing.) REALLY,
REALLY BADLY! (Backs off) 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s okay, Patrick. There’s lots of money in the First National Bank of SpongeBob. (Makes a rainbow appear out
of nowhere. They jump on the rainbow and travel to the other side, where a black pot can be found. SpongeBob picks it up
and turns it over. Nothing.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh oh, I’m broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward? 

''''''Patrick''': '''No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don’t we just borrow the balloon!? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, like Mr. Krabs! 

'''Patrick''': It’s just borrowing, right? 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, and borrowing is okay as long as we bring it back, right? 

''''''Patrick''': Right! 

(SpongeBob swiftly, but smoothly grabs the balloon while the balloon salesman gives a kid a balloon. They run off to the
city to play with it.) 

'''Patrick''': This is so great! 

'''SpongeBob:''' We’re going to have so much fun! First we can run with the balloon! 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, then we can take a bike ride with the balloon, then we can go to the movies and the arcade and the zoo and the ice rink and the pizza shop! 

'''Patrick''': And the moon and the sky and under a car, behind the dumpster! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And the candy shop! 

'''Patrick''': And then my backyard! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And in a plane! 

'''Patrick''': And over a rock! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And under a hill! 

'''Patrick''': And with a whale! 

'''SpongeBob and '''Patrick''':''' We love borrowing! 

(Before SpongeBob and Patrick can do anything about it, an unseen archer pops the balloon with a bow and arrow. Both of them look flabbergasted and sullen.) 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (both imitate the others facial expressions) Sing' A Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as float 

'''Patrick''': How are we going to return it now SpongeBob!? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (On the ground, picking up the balloon shards) I got the pieces! 

'''Patrick''': (put his hands in the, umm, “air”) I got the air! 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (The two hectically try to put the two components back together, but can’t.) No More, I Need It! 

'''SpongeBob:''' We popped the balloon! We can’t return it! We’re thieves! We have to confess?! 

'''Patrick''': Confess? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about
some dumb mail fraud scheme or a highjacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they’re going to lock us up forever! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (covering Patrick’s mouth so no one can hear him) You’re right, we’ve just got to keep our heads. Act normal.

(They start acting stupid, body jumping on the ground, wailing and pulling their selves by their tongue) 

'''Pedestrian:''' Wow, street performers! 

(A crowd gathers around admiring the show) 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' (yelling) It’s not working!

'''Squidward (offscreen)''' I really thought it would work.

'''SpongeBob & '''Patrick''':''' Ah! 

(They run away, smacking into the balloon cart) 

'''Lou:''' Hi there! 

(They scream and run away. The salesman looks confused) 

'''Lou:''' Hey! Don’t you want a free balloon? It’s National Free Balloon Day! 

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick running) 

'''Patrick''': He’s onto us! 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s not safe for Bikini Bottom anymore. We’ve got to move fast and cover our tracks. 

'''Patrick''': (running while carrying a can of red paint and making a line of red paint on the sand) I’m on it, SpongeBob! 

(Cut to the top of a cliff outside of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob and Patrick are looking at the whole B.B. saddened) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Take a last look Patrick. We can never go back. 

'''Patrick''': (waving) Good-bye Bikini Bottom. 

'''SpongeBob:''' (picking up hobo stick) We’ve only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs. 

'''Patrick''': (Picks up stick with the cloth wrapped around his rock house) Yeah. 

'''SpongeBob:''' We’re going to have to travel lighter. 

(They walk off into the sunset. Cut to next scene. SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting next to a burning fire) 

'''Patrick''': I want to go home. 

'''SpongeBob:''' We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running…running, but at least
it’s warmer on the fire. 

'''Patrick''': Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a… 

(The fire dissolves) 

'''Patrick''': I’m scared, SpongeBob. 

'''SpongeBob:''' No more nice, warm beds. 

'''Patrick''': Uhh! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (saddened) No more Krabby Patties. No more getting mail/nailed. No more Gary. No more movies. No more Squidward. No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs. No more anything! 

'''Patrick''': (crying) I want ice cream! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (sniffling) But it doesn’t have to be all bad, right? I mean, at least we have each other. 

'''Patrick''': (losing sadness) Yeah! 

'''SpongeBob:''' And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right? 
(A picture of a strong, muscular man shows up. He is wearing shirt nothing but blood-styled pant.) 

'''Muscleman:''' Yeah! Buns and thighs! 

(Back to fire scene) 

'''Patrick''': And the bitter cold, it’s bracing, isn’t it? 

'''SpongeBob:''' (looking like a cubic snowman) Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be…(breaks out of snowman) …fun! (Loosening
tie) We can loosen our ties. 

'''Patrick''': Yeah! (Unloosens tie from his head. The tie was wrapped tightly on his temple. The air bubble stuck in there
deflates. Patrick jumps, waving his hands) And we can fly! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (jumping) Yeah! 

(SpongeBob jumps too close to the edge of the cliff and falls screaming and hit’s the ground with a thud) 

'''SpongeBob:''' (echoing from the bottom) Okay, we can’t still do that. (Coming back to Patrick) But we don’t have to
shave. 

'''Patrick''': I’m way ahead of you buddy (shows SpongeBob his hairy legs) 

'''SpongeBob:''' And you get to talk tough! (Transforming his head into a 10-gallon hat, imitating a cowboy) This town ain’t
big enough for the two of us. 

'''Patrick''': Uh, let me try: Uh…hey punk! (Laughing at himself) 

'''SpongeBob:''' And the best part is: now that we’re felons, we don’t have to return anything we borrowed! 

'''Both:''' (jumping for joy) Yeah! 

'''Patrick''': (points to SpongeBob) And we owe it all to you. 

'''SpongeBob:''' What are you talking about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan. 

'''Patrick''': Doh, I’m nothing but a lot of talk, you’re the one with the sticky fingers. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh, Patrick, you’re the best bad influence ever. 

'''Patrick''': You, too! (Hugs) Oh, and one more thing, I wish we had something to eat, though. 

'''SpongeBob:''' (taking two chocolate bars out of his pants) Look what I’ve got! 

'''Patrick''': (cheering) Rectangles! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Not just any rectangles… candy bars! (Patrick stares at it, amazed) 

'''Patrick''': Ohh! 

'''SpongeBob:''' All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives! (Gives one to Patrick) 

'''Patrick''': Thanks SpongeBob! (Stupidly) I think I’ll eat it now! (Takes big bite of the still-wrapped chocolate bar,
finishes the rest and then sighs) I think I’ll eat it now! (Takes another big bite, but realizes it’s just his hand) Ow!
Where’d my candy bar go? (Starts digging in sand) I must have dropped it! 

'''SpongeBob:''' You just ate it Pat. It’s all over your face. 

'''Patrick''': (still looking) Where’d it go?! I’m gonna to starve! (Digs a big hole) Where’d it go?! 

(The sand from Patrick’s digging-like-a-dog covers SpongeBob. Patrick’s head pops up under SpongeBob) 

'''Patrick''': I can’t find it! Where could it possibly be?! (Looks up and sees SpongeBob with his candy bar) Ah hah! 

'''SpongeBob:''' What? 

'''Patrick''': (jumps out of the hole, points at SpongeBob) You stole my candy bar! 

'''SpongeBob:''' No, I didn’t. 

'''Patrick''': Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? Once a thief always a thief. 

'''SpongeBob:''' You ate yours. (points to his candy bar) This is mine. 

'''Patrick''': You took my only food! (camera pans down to show Patrick’s stomach blasting with cellulite) Now I’m going to starve! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (nicely) Here Patrick, just take half of mine. 

'''Patrick''': Yours? You mean mine! 

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want it or what? 

'''Patrick''': I don’t want it unless you admit you took it! 

'''SpongeBob:''' This is my candy bar! 

'''Patrick''': Liar, liar, plants for hire! 

'''SpongeBob:''' It’s pants on fire Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': Well, you would know, liar. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, if you’re going to be that way, I’ll eat it myself! 

'''Patrick''': You'd better not. 

(SpongeBob rips open the wrapper) 

'''Patrick''': (fiercely) I’m warning you! 

(SpongeBob takes the candy bar closer to his mouth swaying his tongue up and down) 

'''Patrick''': Don’t! 

(SpongeBob moves his tongue closer, barely touching the bar.) 

'''Patrick''': Stop it! 

(SpongeBob chomps lightly on the bar) 

'''Patrick''': Don’t! Ohh! 

(SpongeBob puts the bar in his wide opened mouth, his two teeth go across the surface of the bar, making a string line of
chocolate) 

'''Patrick''': Ahh! 

(SpongeBob puts the bar in his, what would be, ear holes and moves them left to right) 

'''Patrick''': No! 

(SpongeBob licks the bar all around while Patrick screams. Then SpongeBob eats the bar.) 

'''Patrick''': (angrily turns red) You’re a crazy person! I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon. 

'''SpongeBob:''' Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it? 

'''Patrick''': Ohh, that’s it. 

(Patrick stomps his foot down on the firewood. The fire lights up again. Patrick screams.) 

'''Patrick''': First the balloon, now my candy bar. You’re out of control. I… (menacingly) I’m telling on you! 

'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Not if I tell on you first! (runs away, toward the direction of the B.B. police department) 

'''Patrick''': I’ll beat you there. (runs) 

(The two are in a daftly race to the police department) 

'''SpongeBob:''' You’re going to get in trouble. 

'''Patrick''': No, you are! 

(The two finally reach the B.B.P.D. gasping. They going inside and all start to talk at once.) 

'''Officer Durado:''' What can I do for you boys? 

Both: (they look at each other) We stole a balloon! (they start crying) 

(the policeman looks at them, confused. The second policeman comes up) 

'''Officer Malley:''' What’s the problem here? 

'''Officer Durado:''' Well, it appears these two stole a balloon. 

SpongeBob: (still crying) What are you going to do to us? 

(The policemen, uh, policefish whisper to each other) 

'''Officer Duraldo:''' Okay, follow me. 

(The two are taking into cell 2A and the door is shut on them.) If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. (pauses for
a few) Okay, time’s up. (opens cell) Now, get out. 

SpongeBob: But… But...(yelling) We stole a balloon. 

'''Officer Malley:''' Yeah, on Free Balloon Day! (laughs with coMr.ade) 

(SpongeBob and Patrick are dumbfounded. Cut to scene: Outside of the B.B.P.D.) 

'''Officer Durado:''' (brings out lollipops) How about some lollipops for the roads, boys? 

(They take them) 

'''SpongeBob:''' Let’s vow not to borrow anything without permission again. 

'''Patrick''': You said it. 

(They put both their together, but Patrick’s is already eaten. Patrick’s mouth is covered with some lollipop residue.) 

'''Patrick''': All right! Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop? (Everyone starts laughing.) I mean it! 

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

* "Which one of ya flatfoots stole my lollypop??"

Episode Transcript: Patty Hype

2022-11-27T23:59:42Z

135.26.76.254: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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Episode Article: [[Patty Hype (Episode)|Patty Hype]]

Episode Trivia: On a January 19, 2004 broadcast, it was paired up with The Secret Box.

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Frank (cameo character)|Frank]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Sadie Rechid]]
*[[Evelyn]]
*[[Scottish Fish]]
*[[Bill]]
*[[Realistic Fish Head]]
*[[Anchovy]]

==Dialogue==
(we see the Krusty Krab all dusty, old, and abandoned. All the scenery implies that there has been a lack of customers for a while. Squidward, in the ordering boat, blows dust off of him and the register. SpongeBob dusts off a cobweb on one of the tables, but a spider comes and makes another one. He dusts that one off, but another one just comes and spins another web. Mr. Krabs is completely coated with dust, and sneezes it all off)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ugh... 36 days without a customer. (Frank is dying from hunger crawls into the Krusty Krab)

'''Frank:''' So...hungry...

'''SpongeBob:''' Ah! Mr. Krabs, a customer! (Krabs squeals in delight, revealing a spider web growing in his mouth. An spider crawls all over it)

'''Frank:''' No food... 3 days...

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hold on, me bucko! Food's on the way! (he is about to call into the kitchen, but then has a second thought) You got money, right?

'''Frank:''' Yeah...

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! Bring this man some grub before he keels over!

'''SpongeBob:''' Here you go, sir. (presents Mr. Krabs with a Krabby Patty and soda on a platter)

'''Frank:''' Oh. Krabby Patties, huh?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Finest under the sea!

'''Frank:''' Yeah, yeah, sure. But where's the pizzazz?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Huh?

'''Frank:''' Look at this place. I mean, what is the theme here? Underwater? It's boring! (turns and crawls away) Food! Water! Atmosphere!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Nobody goes to a restaurant for atmosphere. They go for food! (looks out the door as [[Tom]] and [[Fred]] see each other on the street)''

'''Fred:''' Hey, Tom! (captions read: "Man: Hey, Tom!")

'''Tom:''' Fred! Hey, you want to eat at the Krusty Krab? (captions read: "Man 2: Fred, hey, you want to eat at the Krusty Krab?")

'''Fred:''' Nah, let's go to the Shell Shack. They've got a talking dog!

'''Tom:''' Great! Say, what's a dog?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (gasps) Money walking! I have to think up a gimmick like that to get people back in here! (SpongeBob peeks through Mr. Krabs' eyestalks)

'''SpongeBob:''' I have an idea! (Mr. Krabs' eyestalks pull back together, chopping SpongeBob in half)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait! I've got an idea! (bubble-wipe to outside the Krusty Krab, where a marching band plays, and a crowd gathers around Mr. Krabs) ...and so, ladies and gentlemen, make sure you buy lots of Krabby Patties as I bury myself alive! (everyone cheers and confetti shoots up from the ground as Mr. Krabs wields a shovel. He digs a hole, and then hops into it) No free refills. (then, he pats the dirt in around him, leaving himself underground with no trace of him. Fred runs up to on top of where Krabs was buried)

'''Fred:''' Hey, everyone, listen! The talking dog at the Shell Shack is '''''SINGING!!!''''' Come on! (motions for everyone to follow, and they do, leaving Mr. Krabs alone, under the ground. Cross-fade to the inside of the Krusty Krab, which has been cleaned out)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (ignoring him) What am I going to do? If I don't find an idea, I'll go out of business!

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (still ignoring SpongeBob) Why can't someone give me an idea?

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Great Neptune in Heaven, I need an idea! (a divine light hits Krabs, and SpongeBob comes down, playing a harp and dressed like an angel)

'''Angel SpongeBob:''' (singing) Mr. Krabs, I have an idea! (Krabs grabs SpongeBob)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What in the name of money are you waiting for, boy? Tell me!

SpongeBob: Okay, Mr. Krabs. Prepare yourself. Don't bother sitting down, 'cause you'll just stand up when you see this! (shows Mr. Krabs a green Krabby Patty) Tada!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Great Barrier Reef! That patty's spoiled! (knocks it off of the plate and onto the ground, where he burns it with a flamethrower. Once the fire is gone, SpongeBob appears in a fire-retardant suit and laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! It's not tainted meat, it's painted meat! (fire once again overcomes him, and he emerges in regular clothing, with an artist's palette in hand. On the palette, Krabby Patties lie in different colors) [[Pretty Patties]]! Available in 6 designer colors. (Mr. Krabs laughs, and SpongeBob looks broken-heartedly at his own creation)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Mr. Squidward! Come look! (Squidward walks up) Don't that look appetizing?

'''Squidward:''' Mmm, mmm! Good, sir! (the two laugh)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait! Gimme an orange patty... with extra purple! (Squidward laughs) What's next? (holds up a milkshake cup with green sequins encrusted into it) [[Sequin Milkshakes]]?

'''Squidward:''' (holds up a french fry with a bow-tie on) [[Bowtie French Fries|Bow-tie French Fries]]? (SpongeBob is now welling up with tears)

'''SpongeBob:''' No... (Squidward and Mr. Krabs dance mockingly)

'''Squidward:''' Pretty Patties, Pretty Patties!

'''SpongeBob:''' (crying) Stop it! (when they don't, SpongeBob becomes indignant) I know this is a good idea. I'll show you. I'll... I'll... I'll open my own restaurant! (runs out of the Krusty Krab) You'll see! (Squidward and Mr. Krabs look at each other. Then, they continue laughing. Bubble-wipe to Conch Street, where SpongeBob passes [[SpongeBob's House|his pineapple]] and [[Squidward's House]] to get to [[Patrick's House|Patrick's rock]]) Hey, Patrick, are you angry, too?

'''Patrick:''' Yeah.

'''SpongeBob:''' What's the matter?

'''Patrick:''' I can't see my forehead. What's your problem?

'''SpongeBob:''' I have a good idea, and no one else thinks so!

'''Patrick:''' Me, too. (pulls a cord on his own Hawaiian shorts, causing them to inflate and lift into the air a few feet. Patrick is now upside-down) [[Inflatable Pants|Inflatable pants]]! What's your idea?

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm going to open up a restaurant and sell Pretty Patties! (Patrick's shorts explode, leaving him with only a little patch covering his front)

'''Patrick:''' Forget my dumb idea, that's great! (bubble-wipe to later, where SpongeBob has constructed a purple stand that reads "Pretty Patties." Patrick is behind a second one to the left of SpongeBob that is brown and says "Pay Here")

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you ready for the big rush, Patrick? (Patrick pulls up his purple-and-green trunks and gives SpongeBob the thumbs-up) Pretty soon, those hungry customers will be lining up, 'cause we are open! (puts up an "Open" sign. Cut to him at the stand) I'm ready! (we see him as an adult with the same camera angling. He has glasses on, and brown hair) I'm ready. (we see him as an old man with a long, grey beard. His pineapple wilts and dies) I'm ready... (we see his gravestone behind the stand, that says "R.I.P. I'M READY". There is a vacant spot where his pineapple previously was. SpongeBob wakes up at the stand and sees that that was a dream) Patrick, how long have we been sitting here?

'''Patrick:''' Aww! (looks at the sloppily-drawn crayon marks on his wrist made to look like a watch) I gotta draw a new battery for this. (scribbles on his wrist with a blue crayon)

'''SpongeBob:''' What if Mr. Krabs was right? Maybe my idea ''is'' dumb. (cries)

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm scared.

'''Patrick:''' Well then, I'm going in for you! (climbs into SpongeBob's head through one of his pores. Then, SpongeBob blows up like a puffer fish) Sorry. Stupid inflatable pants! (flies out of SpongeBob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Did you find anything?

'''Patrick:''' Huh? (Harold walks up to the stand)

'''Harold:''' Hey, do you sell food here? (he is creeped out as SpongeBob and Patrick giggle)

'''SpongeBob:''' Yes, sir! We sell Pretty Patties! (holds out a green Pretty Patty)

'''Harold:''' That thing's green! (starts laughing hysterically) Green! (laughs more. Patrick joins in, but doesn't laugh hard at all. SpongeBob cries)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs was right! What am I going to do with all these? (holds out the palette of Pretty Patties)

'''Harold:''' (stops laughing) Hey, is that one purple? Purple is my favorite color! (takes a purple Pretty Patty [blue in earlier versions] and tries it) This isn't half bad! Hey, world! "Pretty Patties" is the best idea ever! (bubble-wipe to Mr. Krabs in his office, eating popcorn and watching a movie, crying. A spider dangling from its web cries as well)

'''Rick's Wife:''' (on television) Oh, Rick, how could you? You and I...together we were one!

'''Rick:''' (on TV) That was before. But now, I'm splitting us up. (onscreen, we see an amoebae split into two amoebae. All of a sudden, it turns to a Bikini Bottom News emergency broadcast. A Realistic Fish Head talks at a desk. Behind him is a backdrop, and a bamboo screen showing a crowd of Bikini Bottom citizens cheering)

'''Realistic Fish Head:''' We interrupt this program for an important news announcement! This wild crowd behind me is screaming for Bikini Bottom's newest culinary sensation. Let's take a listen.

'''Crowd:''' (chanting) Pretty Patties! Pretty Patties!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pretty Patties? (the spider comes up and steals Krabs' popcorn)

'''Realistic Fish Head:''' It's easy to see that Pretty Patties are popular, but just what is it about them that drives Bikini Bottom feeders wild? (we see Millie, Sadie Rechid and Evelyn on screen. All three ladies hold out their purses to compare with the Pretty Patties)

'''Millie, Sadie and Evelyn:''' They match our purses! 

'''Scottish Fish:''' (with Scottish accent, kilt, and bagpipe) They remind me of home. (holds up a plaid Pretty Patty, and Larry the Lobster runs up)

'''Larry:''' Pretty Patties rule! (flexes his muscles)

'''Realistic Fish Head:''' Mr. SquarePants, how do you explain all this success?

'''SpongeBob:''' Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I don't know.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' How can you make money with such a stupid idea?

'''Realistic Fish Head:''' And how can you not make money with such a brilliant idea? (SpongeBob laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' At first we didn't know what to do with all the money. We tried burying it-- (Mr. Krabs' eyestalks inflate as he screams) shredding it-- (Krabs' eyestalks inflate even more as he screams again) and burning it! (Mr. Krabs' eyestalks burst and fly around like a balloon with a hole in it. He screams) But in the end, we decided to just give it all away. (we see Patrick at a stand that has a bamboo "$" and says "Free Money." He hands a filled paper sack to Nathiel)

'''Patrick:''' Come again, sir!

'''Nathiel:''' I'm getting back in line!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I don't believe it! (runs out of the office and across the dining area) I've got to see this for me self! (runs out the door and into Sandals)

'''Sandals:''' Hey! Watch it, buddy. I don't care how much you want your Pretty Patty. You're going to have to wait in the line just like the rest of us. (captions read: "Man: Hey, watch it buddy, I don't really care how much you want your Pretty Patty, you're going to have to wait in line just like the rest of us.")

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I've never had a line. (at SpongeBob's stand, the "Now Serving" sign flips to 46,853)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who's #46,853? (there is an excited roar from the crowd. Mr. Krabs makes his way to the front of the line)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I've never had 46,853 customers. (SpongeBob hands a patty to a anchovy)

'''SpongeBob:''' Here you go, sir. Stay pretty. (laughs) All right. Mr. Krabs is that you? Isn't this great, Mr. Krabs? The Pretty Patties are a big hit!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' They sure are, boy. You're doing pretty well for yourself. I guess you've completely forgotten the Krusty Krab.

'''SpongeBob:''' No, sir, I haven't. In fact, sometimes I really miss the old days at the Krusty Krab. (Mr. Krabs gets an idea)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I bet you miss Squidward... and the grill. And the crow's nest.

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Yeah! And do you know what I miss the most, Mr. Krabs? That tiny squeaky sound you get when you rub two pickles together. You know what I mean, Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh... Uh-yeah-uh-yes. Yes, I do, lad. Well, the Krusty Krab is only a short walk away. Why don't you head on down, for old time's sake? (takes SpongeBob by the hand and starts to walk away, but SpongeBob's arm expands and he just stays in the same place)

'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, I can't leave, Mr. Krabs! What about the stand?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ooh, don't worry, lad. I'll watch the stand for ye. (SpongeBob retracts his arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' You will?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No! I've got a better idea! I'll take this old roadside stand off your hands. For keeps. And in exchange, I'll give you the Krusty Krab. With Squidward, the grill, and all those squeaky pickles!

'''SpongeBob:''' (in a trance) What did you say, Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Here's the key to the Krusty Krab. She's yours now. (hands him a key, composed of two golden "K"'s and a ring)

'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you. What should I do now, Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Run to her, boy. She's waiting for you.

'''SpongeBob:''' I can't feel my legs, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, lad! I'll fix it! Get this to the Krusty Krab on the double! Good luck, lad! (tosses SpongeBob to the crowd, who holds him above their hands and passes him down. While crowd-surfing, SpongeBob's surroundings turn into a pink sky with clouds)

'''SpongeBob:''' Dreams do come true! (the crowd throws him on the ground in front of the Krusty Krab, where he floats up and kisses the building. We see him cheer in the dining area, kiss the floor, throw buns up into the air in the kitchen, laugh over the phone in Mr. Krabs' office, and stand at the ordering boat, the whole Krusty Krab cleaned and refreshed. Bubble-wipe to the Pretty Patties stand, where Mr. Krabs holds up a patty)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ladies and gentlemen! "Pretty Patties" is now under new management! Who's next? (waves a patty in the air. We see a sea-level shot of [[Bikini Atoll]]. It turns from night to dawn. Cross-fade to Mr. Krabs at the stand beside SpongeBob's house. The "Free Money" stand has been disassembled) I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! For my money. (a crowd gathers around him) Welcome to Pretty Patties! May I take your money?

'''Franco:''' We want a refund, Krabs! (all talking at once)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Who-?! Huh? What?!

'''Bill:''' Your dumb Patties turned my face purple!

'''Scottish Fish:''' Look what I got under me kilt! (raises his kilt to reveal a plaid body, and white underwear)

'''Clayton, Jess and Frank:''' And look at our tongues!

(we see a yellow tongue, a speckled tongue, and a pink tongue. Mr Krabs refers to Frank's)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's wrong with you?

(Frank turns off a light to reveal his tongue is glow-in-the-dark, and is pulsing green)

'''Frank:''' We want out money back. All 46,853 of us.

(He turns the light back on, but Mr Krabs is nowhere to be seen)

'''Harold:''' Hey, where'd he go?

(cut to a screaming Mr. Krabs running away, and the crowd chasing them, with a rainbow trailing behind them. Mr. Krabs slams into the Krusty Krab door, but it is locked, so he searches for his key)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' My key! Where's my key?!?! (recalls he gave it to SpongeBob, and presses himself against the door to get SpongeBob's attention) SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Let me in! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Let! Me! In!

(SpongeBob is in the dining area, and cannot hear due to his pickle-squeaking. Mr. Krabs is chased left and right by the mob, still screaming)

'''Mr. Krabs''':SpongeBob, let me in! HEEEEEELP! SpongeBob! Help!

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
[[Category:Transcript]]

SpongeBob’s Road to Christmas (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:43:48Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|SpongeBob's Road to Christmas|272.jpg|272|13|December 10, 2021|C.H.U.M.S|Potato Puff}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Plankton|Doug Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Santa Claus|Lewis Black}}
|- bgcolor="ffffff"
|colspan="2"|[[Image:272 Image.jpg|center|300px]]
|}

'''SpongeBob's Road to Christmas''' is a [[Episodes/Season 13|season 13]] episode.

==Info==

===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Santa Claus]] (final appearance)
*[[Squidward Tentacles]] (cameo)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]] (two cameos)
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[Gary the Snail]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob and Patrick travel to the North Pole to give Santa a present.

==Trivia==
*This is the third official Christmas special of ''SpongeBob SquarePants'', after [[Christmas Who? (Episode)|Christmas Who?]] and [[It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)|It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]].
*This is the second episode in which Santa Claus is voiced by Lewis Black, after [[Goons on the Moon (Episode)|Goons on the Moon]].

{{Season13}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 13]]

Santa Claus

2022-11-26T02:41:47Z

135.26.76.254: /* Episodes */

[[Image:Santa.jpg|thumb|250px|Santa Claus]]
[[Image:SantaClaus.jpg|thumb|250px|Squidward in disguise]]
'''Santa Claus''' is a traditional Christmas related character and a character heavily used in the Nickelodeon TV series [[SpongeBob SquarePants]].

== Appearance ==
He is a semi-human elder wearing a red coat and pants, along with a red pointed hat with a white pom pom on its end, red glasses, and white gloves.
In Season 11, Santa Claus appears as an animated character who sleeps on the Dark Side of the Moon (episode: Goons on the Moon)

==Episodes==
*[[Christmas Who? (Episode)|Christmas Who?]] (debut)
*[[Wishing You Well (Episode)|Wishing You Well]] (mentioned)
*[[SpongeBob's Last Stand (Episode)|SpongeBob's Last Stand]] (mentioned)
*[[It's a SpongeBob Christmas! (Episode)|It's a SpongeBob Christmas!]]
*[[Goons on the Moon (Episode)|Goons on the Moon]]
*[[SpongeBob's Road to Christmas (Episode)|SpongeBob's Road to Christmas]] (final appearance)
[[Category:Character]]

==See also==
*[[Santa Claus (alter ego)]]

{{Human}}
[[Category:Character]]

Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well

2022-11-26T02:41:18Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: All That Glitters|All That Glitters]]
|[[Episode Transcript: New Leaf|New Leaf]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Wishing You Well]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentalces]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*The person who eats Mr. Krabs
*Other Bikini Bottomites
*[[Santa Claus]] (mentioned)

==Dialogue==

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (walks up to a pay phone to check if there is any money in it but there is none) Nothing. Oh well. (hears something in the distance) That sounds like a quarter crying for help. (a quarter rolls in front of Mr. Krabs) Come to papa!

'''Mom Fish:''' Hold it right there, buddy. My son just dropped that quarter.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah? Well your boy looks pretty shifty to me. How do I know he didn't steal it? (woman hits him in the face with her purse) Hey! That little brat is throwing perfectly good money away! Oh, so if I can't have it, no one... (gets hit in
the face with the purse again) I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole. (walks over to the well) Poor little
quarter. What the...? This well is full of money! Don't worry little fellas, I'll save ya! (tries to climb in the well but
is too big) Oh, it's no use. Me poop deck's too big.

'''Lady Fish:''' Make a wish, dear.

'''Harold:''' All my wishes have already come true.

'''Lady Fish:''' Oh you. (tosses the coin at the well)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Noo!! (jumps at the coin) I'll save ya, money! (grabs the coin) Gotcha. What do you heartless brutes think you're doing?

'''Harold:''' Umm, using the wishing well.

'''Lady Fish:''' You toss in a coin and make a wish.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And then what?

'''Harold:''' And...that's it. Nothing else happens.

'''Lady Fish:''' It's fun!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest scam ever.

'''Harold:''' Can we have our quarter back now? (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab)

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?

'''SpongeBob:''' You can't rush perfection.

'''Squidward:''' I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Always the kidder, Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (enters Krusty Krab) Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya. (bubble-wipe to outside the Krusty Krab where there is a red X on the ground) X marks the spot of the [[Wishing Well|Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well]].

'''SpongeBob:''' A wishing well, here? Wow!

'''Squidward:''' Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial or anything?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic? (walks off)

'''Squidward:''' No, I don't, and neither does Mr Krabs.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I do. This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true. (starts digging) What's the first thing you're
gonna wish for?

'''Squidward:''' To be far away from you as possible. C'mon, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself. I'm certainly not gonna do it.

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, aren't you excited? This is really gonna help people.

'''Music:''' "[[Down The Well]]"

Take a penny and some magic
Even though your life is tragic,
'''Squidward:''' (spoken) HEY!
'''SpongeBob:''' You can throw all your dreams down the well.

Although every day the pain grows
You ride unicorns on rainbows,
If you throw all your dreams down the well.

When your life's come apart at the seams,
And you've given up all your dreams,
Here is just the means to make those dreams,
Come true.

No more suffering,
No more sighin'
No more pain 'n no more cryin',
'''Squidward:''' (gets whacked with a shovel; spoken) Ow! I'm not crying! (gets whacked again) Ow, ow!
'''SpongeBob:''' When you throw all your dreams down the well.

(song ends)

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts an "open" sign in front of the well) Well, Squidward, what do you think?

'''Squidward:''' That was the worst song I ever heard. But at least this stupid well's finished.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's beautiful. (takes a whiff of the air) You smell that boys? That's the smell of money.

'''SpongeBob:''' You mean magic, don't ya?

'''Squidward:''' All I can smell is that dumpster. (camera pans over to a dumpster behind Squidward)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.

'''Squidward:''' As long as there's no singing.

'''SpongeBob:''' And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.

'''SpongeBob:''' Promotion? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being lowered in the well in a bucket) Why do I have to go down in the well?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' To collect the money!

'''SpongeBob:''' How long do I have to stay down here?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' See ya in 8 hours.

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks for the promotion. It sure is dark and scary down here. (a coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

'''Sandy:''' I sure wish I had a fancy telescope. One that works underwater. That'd make me happier than a junebug at a
porch light sale.

'''SpongeBob:''' Our very first wish! I can't wait till it comes... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

'''Plankton:''' I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish, nay my command, is to be taller. Just
a little? Just big enough to crush my enemies, like the vermin they are!

'''SpongeBob:''' Gosh... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head) Ow!

'''Mrs. Puff:''' I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot ridin' momma. (SpongeBob gasps. Patrick walks up to the well
drinking a soda and throws it down the well when he is finished)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey!

'''Patrick:''' Oh my gosh. Who said that?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' How do you know my name?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.

'''Patrick:''' OK, magical talking trashcan. (takes out a coin from his pocket) I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. (throws
himself and the coin into, and down, the well)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' (lands on top of SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob! I got my wish.

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you're suppose to let go of the coin when you throw it.

'''Patrick:''' But I got my wish.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, we've got 6½ hours till the end of my shift. What do you want to do now?

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it. (day turns to night)

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?

'''SpongeBob:''' I did great, Mr Krabs. I got a nickel from Sandy, 2 pennies from Mrs. Puff, a penny from Plankton... (Patrick
smiles big) ...and this slightly used pair of dentures.

'''Patrick:''' And they fell on my head.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I could probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick. Nah. You better just hand up the money. (sends the
bucket down)

'''SpongeBob:''' This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs. Has anyone's wish come true, yet?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh, not yet. But I'm sure if you believe strong enough, and dug deep enough, everyone’s wishes will come true.

'''SpongeBob:''' Really?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, sure, whatever.

'''SpongeBob:''' Can we come out now?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Goodness, no. You gotta stay down there just in case any late-night wishers come by. I'll be back for ya at dawn. (leaves)

'''SpongeBob:''' Aww, no one's wishes are coming true. What did we do wrong? I know I believe hard enough. Maybe I just didn't
dig deep enough. What do you say, Patrick? Are you ready to dig for some magic?

'''Patrick:''' Yeah.

'''Music:''' "[[Magic Is Missing]]"

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, the magic has gone missing,
And everyone's still wishin'.
But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.

You'll find magic under rubble,
So Patrick, grab a shovel!
And here's where the magic can be found.

We're at the bottom of a well,
But man won't it be swell,
When we make everyone's wishes all come true?

(song ends)

'''SpongeBob:''' (digs a hole and something yellow glows from the hole) Holy mackerel, look Patrick! We've struck magic.

'''Patrick:''' Is that good?

'''SpongeBob:''' Next to being a fry cook, it's the most important thing I've ever done.

'''Patrick:''' It's the only thing I've ever done.

'''Squidward:''' Having fun down there, SpongeBob? (laughs)

'''Patrick:''' Hi, Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' Patrick's down there, too? It just gets better and better.

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you wanna make a wish?

'''Squidward:''' (laughs) I got my wish. You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.

'''SpongeBob:''' Guess what, Squidward? We found the magic.

'''Squidward:''' (laughs) There's no magic, SpongeBob. Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.

'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's true! We did find the magic. Oh, I wish you could see it. (Squidward leans too close and falls into the well, landing on SpongeBob and Patrick) Squidward! You decided to join the party.

'''Patrick:''' Party!

'''Squidward:''' Let me out of here.

'''SpongeBob:''' We were just gonna play some party games.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''Squidward:''' I gotta get out of here. (tries to climb out of the well)

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward! (Squidward falls)

'''Squidward:''' There's no way to climb out of here.

'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.

'''Patrick:''' Yeah, you should work out more.

'''Squidward:''' Well, why don't I just start right now? After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. (laughs)

'''Patrick:''' I don't get it.

'''Squidward:''' Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.

'''Patrick:''' What does claustrophobic mean?

'''SpongeBob:''' It means he's afraid of Santa Clause.

'''Squidward:''' No, it doesn't.

'''Patrick:''' (trying to scare Squidward) Ho, ho, ho! (giggles)

'''SpongeBob:''' Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!

'''Patrick:''' Ho, ho, ho!

'''Squidward:''' It's not working, Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' Darn.

'''SpongeBob:''' Umm, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.

'''Squidward:''' Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.

'''Patrick:''' (holding a plate of ribs) And you got your elbow in my ribs.

'''Squidward:''' Eww... Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' (shoves Squidward) And stop stepping in my potato salad.

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, hey, hey, guys.

'''Squidward:''' (shoves Patrick) Stop pushing me, Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' Oh, you mean like this? (shoves Squidward)

'''Squidward:''' No, like this! (shoves Patrick)

'''SpongeBob:''' (both Patrick and Squidward are fighting) You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. (cut to outside the well, then back inside)

'''Squidward:''' Patrick, get off of me. (camera zooms out to reveal that Patrick is sitting on Squidward) I told you I am claustrophobic.

'''Patrick:''' Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Clause here.

'''Squidward:''' Patrick! (bubble-wipe to daytime where Mr. Krabs returns to the well)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good morning, SpongeBob! Let's see what ya got. (raises the bucket) Boy, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money.
(Squidward comes out of the well)

'''Squidward:''' Free. I'm free!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward? What were you doing down there? I didn't approve of the overtime. Or where you sneaking here in the
dead of night for free wishes?

'''Squidward:''' The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here. (gets hit by a bus that is traveling to 'very very far
away') Ow.

'''SpongeBob:''' Bye, Squidward. Enjoy your trip!

'''Patrick:''' Lucky. (walks off)

'''Mr. Krabs:'''' So how much money did you make last night?

'''SpongeBob:''' We didn't get any money. But we found something better. We found the magic.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' The what?

'''SpongeBob:''' We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic. Now all the wishes will come true!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Listen closely, SpongeBob. You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it. (a big telescope with an
eye looking out of it appears. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob scream) What in the deep blue is that?

'''Sandy:''' There's a full moon out tonight. Do you like my new telescope I wished for?

'''SpongeBob:''' That's great, Sandy!

'''Sandy:''' That wishing well sure does work.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Just a coincidence. (Mrs. Puff drives up in a new boat)

'''Mrs. Puff:''' What do you think of my new hot rod?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff. How's about letting me take it for a spin? (both laugh)

'''Mrs. Puff:''' (calm, but annoyed) No. (drives off)

'''SpongeBob:''' See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean she stole that boat.

'''Plankton:''' (walks up gigantically tall) Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs. Beautiful day. (laughs and runs over to the
buildings and knocks them over)

'''SpongeBob:''' Is that proof enough for ya?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'll never get me to believe in magic, never! Just to prove it to ya, (walks over to the well) I'll
demonstrate: I wish...I was steamed and served with a side of melted butter. (lets go of the penny and laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! No!!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, where's your magic now? (vanishes in thin air and appears as a real crab on a plate) Oh, where am I? What's going on here? (person sits down and puts on an eating bib that says "THE END" on it) Uh-oh. I do believe in magic. I do believe in magic. I do believe in magic. Oh no!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well

2022-11-26T02:40:42Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: All That Glitters|All That Glitters]]
|[[Episode Transcript: New Leaf|New Leaf]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Wishing You Well]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentalces]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*The person who eats Mr. Krabs
*Other Bikini Bottomites

==Dialogue==

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (walks up to a pay phone to check if there is any money in it but there is none) Nothing. Oh well. (hears something in the distance) That sounds like a quarter crying for help. (a quarter rolls in front of Mr. Krabs) Come to papa!

'''Mom Fish:''' Hold it right there, buddy. My son just dropped that quarter.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah? Well your boy looks pretty shifty to me. How do I know he didn't steal it? (woman hits him in the face with her purse) Hey! That little brat is throwing perfectly good money away! Oh, so if I can't have it, no one... (gets hit in
the face with the purse again) I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole. (walks over to the well) Poor little
quarter. What the...? This well is full of money! Don't worry little fellas, I'll save ya! (tries to climb in the well but
is too big) Oh, it's no use. Me poop deck's too big.

'''Lady Fish:''' Make a wish, dear.

'''Harold:''' All my wishes have already come true.

'''Lady Fish:''' Oh you. (tosses the coin at the well)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Noo!! (jumps at the coin) I'll save ya, money! (grabs the coin) Gotcha. What do you heartless brutes think you're doing?

'''Harold:''' Umm, using the wishing well.

'''Lady Fish:''' You toss in a coin and make a wish.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And then what?

'''Harold:''' And...that's it. Nothing else happens.

'''Lady Fish:''' It's fun!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest scam ever.

'''Harold:''' Can we have our quarter back now? (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab)

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?

'''SpongeBob:''' You can't rush perfection.

'''Squidward:''' I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Always the kidder, Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (enters Krusty Krab) Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya. (bubble-wipe to outside the Krusty Krab where there is a red X on the ground) X marks the spot of the [[Wishing Well|Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well]].

'''SpongeBob:''' A wishing well, here? Wow!

'''Squidward:''' Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial or anything?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?

'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic? (walks off)

'''Squidward:''' No, I don't, and neither does Mr Krabs.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I do. This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true. (starts digging) What's the first thing you're
gonna wish for?

'''Squidward:''' To be far away from you as possible. C'mon, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself. I'm certainly not gonna do it.

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, aren't you excited? This is really gonna help people.

'''Music:''' "[[Down The Well]]"

Take a penny and some magic
Even though your life is tragic,
'''Squidward:''' (spoken) HEY!
'''SpongeBob:''' You can throw all your dreams down the well.

Although every day the pain grows
You ride unicorns on rainbows,
If you throw all your dreams down the well.

When your life's come apart at the seams,
And you've given up all your dreams,
Here is just the means to make those dreams,
Come true.

No more suffering,
No more sighin'
No more pain 'n no more cryin',
'''Squidward:''' (gets whacked with a shovel; spoken) Ow! I'm not crying! (gets whacked again) Ow, ow!
'''SpongeBob:''' When you throw all your dreams down the well.

(song ends)

'''SpongeBob:''' (puts an "open" sign in front of the well) Well, Squidward, what do you think?

'''Squidward:''' That was the worst song I ever heard. But at least this stupid well's finished.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's beautiful. (takes a whiff of the air) You smell that boys? That's the smell of money.

'''SpongeBob:''' You mean magic, don't ya?

'''Squidward:''' All I can smell is that dumpster. (camera pans over to a dumpster behind Squidward)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.

'''Squidward:''' As long as there's no singing.

'''SpongeBob:''' And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.

'''SpongeBob:''' Promotion? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being lowered in the well in a bucket) Why do I have to go down in the well?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' To collect the money!

'''SpongeBob:''' How long do I have to stay down here?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' See ya in 8 hours.

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks for the promotion. It sure is dark and scary down here. (a coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

'''Sandy:''' I sure wish I had a fancy telescope. One that works underwater. That'd make me happier than a junebug at a
porch light sale.

'''SpongeBob:''' Our very first wish! I can't wait till it comes... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

'''Plankton:''' I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish, nay my command, is to be taller. Just
a little? Just big enough to crush my enemies, like the vermin they are!

'''SpongeBob:''' Gosh... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head) Ow!

'''Mrs. Puff:''' I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot ridin' momma. (SpongeBob gasps. Patrick walks up to the well
drinking a soda and throws it down the well when he is finished)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey!

'''Patrick:''' Oh my gosh. Who said that?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' How do you know my name?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.

'''Patrick:''' OK, magical talking trashcan. (takes out a coin from his pocket) I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. (throws
himself and the coin into, and down, the well)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' (lands on top of SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob! I got my wish.

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you're suppose to let go of the coin when you throw it.

'''Patrick:''' But I got my wish.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, we've got 6½ hours till the end of my shift. What do you want to do now?

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it. (day turns to night)

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?

'''SpongeBob:''' I did great, Mr Krabs. I got a nickel from Sandy, 2 pennies from Mrs. Puff, a penny from Plankton... (Patrick
smiles big) ...and this slightly used pair of dentures.

'''Patrick:''' And they fell on my head.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I could probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick. Nah. You better just hand up the money. (sends the
bucket down)

'''SpongeBob:''' This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs. Has anyone's wish come true, yet?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh, not yet. But I'm sure if you believe strong enough, and dug deep enough, everyone’s wishes will come true.

'''SpongeBob:''' Really?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, sure, whatever.

'''SpongeBob:''' Can we come out now?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Goodness, no. You gotta stay down there just in case any late-night wishers come by. I'll be back for ya at dawn. (leaves)

'''SpongeBob:''' Aww, no one's wishes are coming true. What did we do wrong? I know I believe hard enough. Maybe I just didn't
dig deep enough. What do you say, Patrick? Are you ready to dig for some magic?

'''Patrick:''' Yeah.

'''Music:''' "[[Magic Is Missing]]"

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, the magic has gone missing,
And everyone's still wishin'.
But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.

You'll find magic under rubble,
So Patrick, grab a shovel!
And here's where the magic can be found.

We're at the bottom of a well,
But man won't it be swell,
When we make everyone's wishes all come true?

(song ends)

'''SpongeBob:''' (digs a hole and something yellow glows from the hole) Holy mackerel, look Patrick! We've struck magic.

'''Patrick:''' Is that good?

'''SpongeBob:''' Next to being a fry cook, it's the most important thing I've ever done.

'''Patrick:''' It's the only thing I've ever done.

'''Squidward:''' Having fun down there, SpongeBob? (laughs)

'''Patrick:''' Hi, Squidward.

'''Squidward:''' Patrick's down there, too? It just gets better and better.

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you wanna make a wish?

'''Squidward:''' (laughs) I got my wish. You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.

'''SpongeBob:''' Guess what, Squidward? We found the magic.

'''Squidward:''' (laughs) There's no magic, SpongeBob. Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.

'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's true! We did find the magic. Oh, I wish you could see it. (Squidward leans too close and falls into the well, landing on SpongeBob and Patrick) Squidward! You decided to join the party.

'''Patrick:''' Party!

'''Squidward:''' Let me out of here.

'''SpongeBob:''' We were just gonna play some party games.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

'''Squidward:''' I gotta get out of here. (tries to climb out of the well)

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward! (Squidward falls)

'''Squidward:''' There's no way to climb out of here.

'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.

'''Patrick:''' Yeah, you should work out more.

'''Squidward:''' Well, why don't I just start right now? After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. (laughs)

'''Patrick:''' I don't get it.

'''Squidward:''' Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.

'''Patrick:''' What does claustrophobic mean?

'''SpongeBob:''' It means he's afraid of Santa Clause.

'''Squidward:''' No, it doesn't.

'''Patrick:''' (trying to scare Squidward) Ho, ho, ho! (giggles)

'''SpongeBob:''' Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!

'''Patrick:''' Ho, ho, ho!

'''Squidward:''' It's not working, Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' Darn.

'''SpongeBob:''' Umm, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.

'''Squidward:''' Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.

'''Patrick:''' (holding a plate of ribs) And you got your elbow in my ribs.

'''Squidward:''' Eww... Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' (shoves Squidward) And stop stepping in my potato salad.

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, hey, hey, guys.

'''Squidward:''' (shoves Patrick) Stop pushing me, Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' Oh, you mean like this? (shoves Squidward)

'''Squidward:''' No, like this! (shoves Patrick)

'''SpongeBob:''' (both Patrick and Squidward are fighting) You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. (cut to outside the well, then back inside)

'''Squidward:''' Patrick, get off of me. (camera zooms out to reveal that Patrick is sitting on Squidward) I told you I am claustrophobic.

'''Patrick:''' Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Clause here.

'''Squidward:''' Patrick! (bubble-wipe to daytime where Mr. Krabs returns to the well)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good morning, SpongeBob! Let's see what ya got. (raises the bucket) Boy, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money.
(Squidward comes out of the well)

'''Squidward:''' Free. I'm free!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward? What were you doing down there? I didn't approve of the overtime. Or where you sneaking here in the
dead of night for free wishes?

'''Squidward:''' The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here. (gets hit by a bus that is traveling to 'very very far
away') Ow.

'''SpongeBob:''' Bye, Squidward. Enjoy your trip!

'''Patrick:''' Lucky. (walks off)

'''Mr. Krabs:'''' So how much money did you make last night?

'''SpongeBob:''' We didn't get any money. But we found something better. We found the magic.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' The what?

'''SpongeBob:''' We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic. Now all the wishes will come true!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Listen closely, SpongeBob. You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it. (a big telescope with an
eye looking out of it appears. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob scream) What in the deep blue is that?

'''Sandy:''' There's a full moon out tonight. Do you like my new telescope I wished for?

'''SpongeBob:''' That's great, Sandy!

'''Sandy:''' That wishing well sure does work.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Just a coincidence. (Mrs. Puff drives up in a new boat)

'''Mrs. Puff:''' What do you think of my new hot rod?

'''SpongeBob:''' It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff. How's about letting me take it for a spin? (both laugh)

'''Mrs. Puff:''' (calm, but annoyed) No. (drives off)

'''SpongeBob:''' See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean she stole that boat.

'''Plankton:''' (walks up gigantically tall) Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs. Beautiful day. (laughs and runs over to the
buildings and knocks them over)

'''SpongeBob:''' Is that proof enough for ya?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'll never get me to believe in magic, never! Just to prove it to ya, (walks over to the well) I'll
demonstrate: I wish...I was steamed and served with a side of melted butter. (lets go of the penny and laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! No!!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, where's your magic now? (vanishes in thin air and appears as a real crab on a plate) Oh, where am I? What's going on here? (person sits down and puts on an eating bib that says "THE END" on it) Uh-oh. I do believe in magic. I do believe in magic. I do believe in magic. Oh no!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Patrick SmartPants

2022-11-26T02:39:15Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Patrick Schlaukopf]]
{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]
|[[Episode Transcript: SquidBob TentaclePants|SquidBob TentaclePants]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Patrick SmartPants]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**Patrick SmartPants (debut)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]] (cameo)
*[[Gary the Snail]] (cameo in photo)

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob & Patrick are running through Jellyfish Fields laughing trying to capture jellyfish) 

'''Patrick''': (pokes SpongeBob) You're it. (both laugh) 

SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) You're it. (both laugh. Patrick runs off) Wait, Pat, you're it! (notices a sign a few yards away) The sign! 

'''Patrick''': Huh? (tries to read it as he is running) Danger... (falls off the cliff) cliff! 

SpongeBob: Patrick! (runs down the cliff to Patrick) Let me help you out of there, buddy! (grabs a starfish shaped head out of the ground. When he notices its just a head, he screams) Is the rest of you down there? 

'''Patrick''': (walks up to SpongeBob with no head attached to his body) The rest of me is up here. 

SpongeBob: Ooh, you had me worried there, buddy. (laughs) Here's your head. (attaches the head onto Patrick and laughs. Picture of inside Patrick's head shows a plug--plugging into an outlet. Gears & Cranks start up. Patrick gets a spark or two from his head) 

'''Patrick''': I find all this laughter to be highly illogical. 

SpongeBob: Well, let's stop laughing and start fishing! (takes out two jellyfish nets. Hands a net to Patrick) Go ahead, you get first crack. 

'''Patrick''': (jellyfish floats by) Look at them. These graceful stoic creatures of the deep. 

SpongeBob: Huh? Those are some big words, Pat. I've never heard you use them before. 

'''Patrick''': Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding. 

SpongeBob: Well, let's expand our jellyfish nets. C'mon, Patrick. (captures a jellyfish) Look buddy, I captured one! 

'''Patrick''': Yes...I captured one as well without disturbing its delicate ecosystem. It is wrong to harness nature in such a barbaric manner. 

SpongeBob: Ok...what do you wanna do? 

'''Patrick''': Let us go off and admire the beauty and fragility of nature. 

SpongeBob: Pretty. 

'''Patrick''': Yes, quite. 

SpongeBob: Fragile. 

'''Patrick''': Indeed. 

SpongeBob: (jumps at Patrick 3 times) C'mon Patrick, let's do something fun. 

'''Patrick''': Oh, you want to run some statistics or observe phenomenon and render hypothesis of said phenomenon?

SpongeBob: I was thinking more like jumping rope or 1-legged races, or playing duck-duck-hermit crab. (jumps into a hermit-crab shell) 

'''Patrick''': Doesn't feel like fun. 

SpongeBob: How about some jokes? (Patrick sighs) Patrick, what's the difference between a guitar and a jellyfish? 

'''Patrick''': You can't strum a jellyfish. 

SpongeBob: Yes! (laughs. Patrick grabs a jellyfish and strums its tentacles) 

'''Patrick''': Oh my, look at the time. I really must be going. (walks off) 

SpongeBob: What's wrong with Patrick? I sure hope he gets better soon. (at Patrick's house where Patrick is doing some
scientific work) Are you better, Pat? Uhh, whatcha doing? 

'''Patrick''': Just studying this amazing subspecies. 

Plankton: (through a telescope) I'll show you subspecies. 

SpongeBob: Wanna visit Squidward? 

'''Patrick''': Since I am finished with my work I'll humor you in your trivial pursuits. (now at Squidward's house where
Squidward is playing his clarinet) I'd recognize that piece anywhere! Cornelius Pofferfish's Opus 67 symphony in blue. 

Squidward: Patrick? 

'''Patrick''': It's a beautiful piece. Execution needs some work. (walks over to the piano) May I suggest on the 7th bar of the adagio andante that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated b-flat scale. 

Squidward: Wow, I never thought to do it like that. 

'''Patrick''': Well, that is because you rarely think. 

SpongeBob: How do you know all that? 

'''Patrick''': A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance. (inhales) Ah. 

SpongeBob: Does that include... (burps)belch-talk-ing? 

'''Patrick''': Mr. SquarePants, I find your humor vulgar. 

Squidward: I had no idea you were so knowledgeable, Patrick. Do you think you can be my musical mentor? 

SpongeBob: Uhh, guys? 

'''Patrick''': Let's take it from the top. (Squidward plays, badly) Not so excellent, Squidward. Let me demonstrate the proper
technique. (looks at clarinet with spit covered all over the mouth piece) On second thought, practice makes perfect. Let's
begin. (SpongeBob comes up playing his musical nose as a flute) Uh, thank you, my good chap. Unfortunately, this is a solo
piece for clarinet only. And 1, 2, 3, 4... (Squidward plays more. SpongeBob frowns and walks out) Stop! Enough! (walks out) Find yourself a new mentor!! 

SpongeBob: Now that you have some free-time, let's get some grub. 

'''Patrick''': No, SpongeBob, I'm afraid not. 

SpongeBob: Well, I have a brand new bottle of super-bubbly bubble soap. (blows a bubble that pops on Patrick's face) 

'''Patrick''': No, thanks again. 

SpongeBob: Maybe later we can play pirates. 

'''Patrick''': Robert, my dear, it's no use. We've just grown apart. 

SpongeBob: What? What do you mean? 

'''Patrick''': I know we've had fun in the past but we're just not compatible anymore. It's time we went our separate ways...such is life. 

SpongeBob: But, Patrick, you're my best friend. 

'''Patrick''': I know it's hard but brace up chap. 

SpongeBob: Yeah. 

'''Patrick''': Maybe our paths will cross again someday. Think fondly of me, Mr. SquarePants. 

SpongeBob: Goodbye, Mr.... Best friend! (at Sandy's treedome. SpongeBob rings her doorbell) Sandy, you there? I need some professional help. (Sandy and Patrick are heard laughing inside) Patrick?

Sandy: Well, Pat, the new you gets an A+. 

'''Patrick''': Why, thank you, Sandra. I find your intellect rather stimulating as well. 

Sandy: Oh, really? Well, thanks. (at a chalkboard with an equation on it) Well, Patrick, what do you think about this problem? 

'''Patrick''': (changes formula) You simply change the literal term to a coefficient and the minuend will achieve the desired quotient. Even the simplest of mammals can figure it out with a little thought. 

Sandy: What do you mean by that, Patrick? 

'''Patrick''': I'm merely suggesting you lack the ability to solve remedial equations. 

Sandy: Are you suggesting I'm dumb? 

'''Patrick''': I'd use a more sophisticated word like 'impaired'. 

Sandy: I think you'd better leave. 

'''Patrick''': I was only trying to help. (walks off) 

Sandy: I don't need your kind of help, Mr. know-it-all. I liked you better when you were a barnacle head! 

SpongeBob: (sitting on his chair at home crying) I never thought I'd lose my best friend. How can I compete with geniuses? 

'''Patrick''': (sitting on his chair at home) Surrounded by knowledge and no one to share it with. No one I can call friend. Who's that old chap I used to run with? (notices a book on the table next to him called 'MY FRIEND SPONGEBOB') SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: (looks at his 'MY FRIEND PATRICK' book) At least Patrick's my friend in my memories. 

'''Patrick''': Ah, the glory days, why have we grown apart? I must apply all that I know to solve this problem! (looks at x-rays of him & SpongeBob's head, meditates on top of his rock, studies Squidward, reads book) What could it be? (applies a chemical on his head and grows hair) What's different? (screams; tears out his hair) What?! I'd do anything to have my old buddy back by my side again! 

SpongeBob: (doorbell rings) Coming. (opens door and gets kidnapped in a jellyfish net by Patrick) Patrick, you're kidnapping me? 

'''Patrick''': Yes, I am. 

SpongeBob: Yay! (jumps out of the net and writes "yippie" in the air with bubble soap) What should we do? 

'''Patrick''': We are going to have fun. Whatever the cost may be. 

SpongeBob: Let's do this. 

'''Patrick''': Yes, let's have some fun. 

SpongeBob: (jumping around) Oh, yeah! 

'''Patrick''': (jumping around) Oh, absolutely! (now riding on a shell down a mountain) Are you quite sure I found this activity to be fun? 

SpongeBob: Yeah. (screams with enjoyment. Shell lunges them into the sand) That was fun, huh Patrick? 

'''Patrick''': (Swallows a mouth-full of sand) When did the fun go away, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: It went away when you jumped off that cliff and knocked your head clean off. 

'''Patrick''': That's it! (runs off) 

SpongeBob: That's what? What are you doing? 

'''Patrick''': I'm going to duplicate my actions from that day to ascertain the origin of my cha...an...ge! (falls off cliff) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! Hold on, buddy! (takes Patrick out of the ground) There ya go. (notices he has no head and screams) Don't worry, Patrick. I found your head last time, I'll find it again! (searches around some coral) Not back there. (checks under a rock) Not under here. What if I can't find it? Oh, poor headless Patrick?! (turns around and runs into Patrick making his head pop out) Patrick, you're head is back! But, uhh, do you feel different? 

'''Patrick''': Quite unchanged, actually. 

SpongeBob: I guess we'll never have fun together again. 

'''Patrick''': You said you found my dislodged cranial cap last time. 

SpongeBob: Yes. 

'''Patrick''': Where exactly did you find it? 

SpongeBob: Um, it was right here. 

'''Patrick''': Hmm, impossible! If I landed here the trajectory of my dismembered skull would cause it to come to rest, not there, but
here, exactly 5 meters due north. 

SpongeBob: But if that's your head, then what did I pick up over... (sign says 'Brain Coral Field') ...brain coral! No wonder you got so smart, buddy. (blows off the poison sea urchins off Patrick's head) Here you go, Patrick, your old head. Are you sure you want to give up being smart and phosisticated to be my friend again?

'''Patrick''': Knowledge can never replace friendship. I prefer to be an idiot! 

SpongeBob: Not just an idiot, Patrick. You're also my pal. (takes off Patrick's head and puts his old one back on) Patrick? Say something, Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': (burps) Hi, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, you're back! 

'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back. (both laugh, then pull out their jellyfish nets, make oo-loo-loo sounds, and run off into the sunset)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture

2022-11-26T02:37:13Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Enemy In-Law|Enemy In-Law]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Patrick SmartPants|Patrick SmartPants]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Pearl Krabs]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]

==Dialogue==

(A green car comes driving up then stops. Kelp-Thing gets out)

'''Kelp-Thing''': Huh? Eh?

'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! (Barnacle Boy appears) And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.

'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy...unite! (both put rings together then jump down onto Kelp-Thing's car) Kelp-Thing, this is a posted, "No-Parking" zone. 

'''Kelp-Thing''': (cut to the sign, then zoom out to Kelp-Thing) But I must do what I do. (jumps up in the air, snickering, until he notices his car is being towed) Huh? (Kelp-Thing jumps down. The word "TOWED" comes on screen. Kelp-Thing then walks away)

'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6:00am and 12:00pm! (both raise their rings and the word "FIN" appears on-screen. The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club is watching a video about the heroes. They now cheer)

'''Club Leader''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club members unite! (puts fists together in air)

'''All''': Unite! (all put their fists together in air)

'''Club Leader''': And now the second order of business, [[Drippy Brothers Studio|Drippy Brothers Studios]] is currently in production of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie!

'''All''': (in amazement) Ooh!

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, boy, Patrick. I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes, on the big screen! (Patrick laughs)

'''Club Leader''': Third order of business, the special surprise guest. (all gasp) The stars of the Mermaid Man movie are here tonight! (everyone cheers) Directly from the set, here they are! (the curtain opens and reveals the fake actors who portray Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy)

'''Fake Mermaid Man''': Hello, little heroes.

'''Patrick''': Huh?

'''SpongeBob''': You're not Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. You're fakes.

'''Fake Mermaid Man''': Well, of course, we are--we're actors.

'''SpongeBob''': Actors? How can you make a Mermaid Man movie without the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?

'''Fake Mermaid Man''': Listen, kid, (pokes SpongeBob with his finger) this is an action movie. You're has-been heroes are too old for action.

'''SpongeBob''': Mermaid Man is timeless!

'''Patrick''': Yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phony-baloney ruining the good name of our heroes. (the fake Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy actors are shocked) No right-minded Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy society member would ever pay to see this...this celluloid hoax. I say we boycott this movie! Now who's with me? (SpongeBob and Patrick are thrown out of the building) Traitors! Wait till we tell Mermaid Man about this. (bubble-wipe to [[Shady Shoals]])

'''Announcer''': B-47. (Mermaid Man scans through his "BINGO" card with his finger)

'''Mermaid Man''': BONKO!

'''Barnacle Boy''': (puts hand on Mermaid Man) It's "Bingo".

'''Mermaid Man''': (slaps Barnacle Boy's hand away) Get your hands off me, woman!

'''Announcer''': A-29.

'''SpongeBob''': (walks in angrily) "Too old for an action movie"...huh. (walks up to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy)

'''Barnacle Boy''': What is this time, kid?

'''SpongeBob''': Are you aware that Drippy Brothers Studios are making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?

'''Barnacle Boy''': They can't be making a movie about us!

'''SpongeBob''': But they are! And they're using... (cut to a close-up of his mouth) actors. (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy gasp) They have shunned our heroes.

'''Patrick''': And they weren't nice to them either.

'''Mermaid Man''': (crying) Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.

'''SpongeBob''': Well, that makes it even worse.

'''Barnacle Boy''': (puts hands on Mermaid Man's back) You bet it does, kid.

'''Mermaid Man''': (in sorrow) And the worst part is: I can't remember why I started crying.

'''Patrick''': Why don't we just make our own movie?

'''SpongeBob''': (Puts his hands on Patrick.)Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie. Right here at Shady Shoals.

'''Mermaid Man''': (stops crying) You will?

'''SpongeBob''': Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and... (cut to a close-up of his mouth again) their actors.

'''Mermaid Man''': (jumps on top of the table) Vindication is ours! Vindi... (notices that he got up to the table) ...how did I get up here? (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob, Patrick, and a typewriter at a table)

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Patrick, what do we need to start a movie?

'''Patrick''': Popcorn?

'''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick, to start making a movie.

'''Patrick''': Oh, oh, oh...

'''SpongeBob''': Let's start with... the title.

'''Patrick''': Yeah, yeah. (they both think for a title until Patrick comes up with one) Ooh! I got one! "Adventures in the Underground City".

'''SpongeBob''': Great, Pat, what happens?

'''Patrick''': Well, there's a city...

'''SpongeBob''': (types it in) City...

'''Patrick''': And it's underground...

'''SpongeBob''': (typing) Underground...

'''Patrick''': And they have an adventure...

'''SpongeBob''': (typing) Adventure...

'''Patrick''': The end.

'''SpongeBob''': (types in the last thing) End. (finishes typing) That's great, Pat. (checks paper) Hmm, seems kinda short.

'''Patrick''': I have an idea. Let's make it longer!

'''SpongeBob''': Longer, yes! Ok, let's have Mermaid Man get his face shrunk by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.

'''Patrick''': Yeah, and then he...umm...he drinks...cheese coffee!

'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) Good one, Pat! (both laugh)

'''Mr. Krabs''': (walks to table) What are ye lads doing?

'''SpongeBob''': We're making a movie.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Great! I got cinema's newest star, right here. (camera pan to Pearl, who is holding a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob looks through his fingers, which make a square shape staring at Pearl. She giggles)

'''Mr. Krabs''': So, what do you say, lad?

'''SpongeBob''': Sure, Mr. Krabs, Pearl can be in our movie.

'''Mr. Krabs''': I wasn't talking about Pearl. I was talking about the Krabby Patty. (cut to a close-up of the Krabby Patty held by Pearl. Cut back to Pearl, who bursts into tears)

'''SpongeBob''': You can be in it, too, Pearl.

'''Pearl''': (immediately stops crying and becomes happy; singsong) I'm gonna be a movie star! (bubble-wipe to outside Shady Shoals)

'''SpongeBob''': Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. (cut to Sandy) Sandy will handle the stunts and explosives. (Sandy holds up a bomb)

'''Sandy''': Howdy.

'''SpongeBob''': (camera pans to Pearl) Pearl is the leading lady. (camera pans to Mr. Krabs) Mr. Krabs will cater the affair. (Mr. Krabs holds up a Krabby Patty. Camera pans to Patrick, with a film camera next to him) Patrick will run the camera.

'''Patrick''': Hey... (leans on the camera, only to knock over the camera and get tangled up in film roll)

'''SpongeBob''': This is Squidward. He's in charge of the makeup department.

'''Squidward''': Uh, no thanks. Who wants to be the "makeup department"? (walks away)

'''SpongeBob''': Not makeup department. You're the makeup artist.

'''Squidward''': (looks back) Artist?

'''SpongeBob''': Makeup artist.

'''Squidward''': (in enthusiasm) In that case, let's make those old crabapples sizzle. (looks at the heroes) Hmm... (close-ups of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's old, wrinkly faces) Time for the art-eest to go to work. (takes out a blowtorch and gets to work. Banging and screaming are heard. Squidward scrubs, streches, and staples their faces together. More screaming are heard) Voila!

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) OK, places everybody. Squidward, are our heroes ready?

'''Squidward''': As they'll ever be.

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps in amazement. Camera cuts to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, who appear to have their skins stretched and tied) They're beautiful! They look just like they did 30 years ago. (Mermaid Man slurps) Ok...action! (Sandy pushes a handle down, and a special-effects explosion occurs)

'''Sandy''': I love my new job!

'''SpongeBob''' : (on megaphone) Good job, Sandy.

'''Plankton''': Psst... (Planton, who is wearing a miniature ManRay helmet, walks in) I, ManRay, have returned from the murky depths to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the nether regions. Their defenses are strong but they are no match for my ManRay ray. (takes out a flashlight and turns it on)

'''SpongeBob''': What are you doing?

'''Plankton''': (takes off helmet) SpongeBob, this role was made for me!

'''SpongeBob''': That villain isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. (looks around) Oh, here's something. (takes boom microphone stand) You can be the boom operator.

'''Plankton''': I thought Sandy was the boom operator.

'''Sandy''': Did somebody say "Boom"? (activates explosion)

'''Plankton''': All right, SpongeBob, but you're squandering my talents!

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Patrick, start the movie! (Patrick starts filming while SpongeBob sits in a director's chair)

'''Assistant''': (holding a clapboard) Take 1. (claps the clapboard and pulls it offscreen)

'''Mermaid Man''': We have to get back to those swollen Krabby Patties.

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's "STOLEN Krabby Patties."

'''Assistant''': Take 2. (claps the clapboard again)

'''Mermaid Man''': We have to get back to those stolen maggie daddies.

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's "stolen Krabby Patties." 

'''Assistant''': Take 5,003. (claps the clapboard for a third time)

'''Mermaid Man''': We have to get back to those stolen Krabby Patties! (Plankton tries to hold up the boom microphone) And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel- (the microphone gets shoved into Mermaid Man's mouth. Mumbles)

'''Plankton''': (tries to pull back the boom microphone) Give it back!

'''Barnacle Boy''': I knew this was a bad idea.

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Cut! (walks up to Plankton) Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of the shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job.

'''Plankton''': (drops the boom microphone) This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing.

'''Sandy''': Did somebody say "Boom"? (activates explosion)

'''Pearl''': (cries) Oh, daddy, you said I was going to be a star!

'''Mr. Krabs''': You are, Pearl. Mermaid Man wouldn't be anywhere without you. (Pearl becomes happy) Go out there and break a leg!

'''Pearl''': Yeah! (runs off)

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Okay, action!

'''Mermaid Man''': (cut to Kelp-Thing's hideout. Camera pans down to the heroes) To the boat mobile! (both jump on the boat mobile, which is portrayed by Pearl on her back with wheels)

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Cue sound effects. (Pearl uses her tongue for boat engine sound effect)

'''Mermaid Man''': Listen to that engine purr. (assistant is straining as he tries to pull Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, and Pearl up a steep cliff with a rope)

'''SpongeBob''': (on megaphone) Almost there! (assistant grabs the edge of the cliff, but it breaks off, causing them to slide down and into the air. Then they come crashing down onto the set. Pearl gets off of SpongeBob)

'''Patrick''': Good morning, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob''': (looks around to see that the set is destroyed)Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage.

'''Patrick''': Yeah, I got the footage.

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what is that? (points to camera)

'''Patrick''': Oh, it's a camera.

'''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick, this. (takes off lens cap)

'''Patrick''': Oh, that's a lens cap.

'''SpongeBob''': Did you just put that on?!

'''Patrick''': Nope, I didn't want to lose it, so I put it there right before we started filming.

'''SpongeBob''':(screams and goes insane, crab-walks, crawls, and shoves his rear against the ground. Lifts up a piece of the ground, and eats worms on the bottom. Everyone gasps. SpongeBob then cries) The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!

'''Mermaid Man''': Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and there was broccoli on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it's how to forget.

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, this is good. Roll the film. (Patrick films Mermaid Man)

'''Mermaid Man''': The rain in Spain stays mainly on the...space! The final countdown. Stick to the...stick to the...Loo, my darling! Lou! (falls on ground) Now get out there and finish this movie, kid. (bubble-wipe to Krusty Krab at night, where Mr. Krabs is crying at the cash register)

'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, why are you weeping?

'''Mr. Krabs''': (crying) I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers? (angrily) You promised a full house!

'''SpongeBob''': And here comes the filling! (points to the front door. The fan club comes rushing into the Krusty Krab) The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie!

'''Club Leader''': Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please. (hands Mr. Krabs stack of money)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, this is what I call a happy ending. (cut to the movie starting on a screen, with benches for seating near the screen. Everyone is sitting down to watch the film)

'''Barnacle Boy''': Well, our big moment, us, up on the big screen. (notices Mermaid Man is sleeping)

'''SpongeBob''': (in the movie, a cardboard box for a building, glue bottle, and a toy boatmobile being controlled by SpongeBob are shown) Fort Lox: Home to over five billion Krabby Patties. (SpongeBob and Patrick each grab a canister popcorn while watching the movie) What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its treasure? (a piece of kelp on strings comes down with springy eye stalks) It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!

'''Mermaid Man''': (on-screen) Stop! You can't do that- (movie cuts for a bit) -forbidden.

'''SpongeBob''': (on-screen as Kelp-Thing) Watch me!

'''Mermaid Man''': Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain. (Sandy comes in as Mermaid Man's stunt double and fights Kelp Thing. Then Mermaid Man shows up on screen again) You may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on. (real-life crabs are fighting) Mermaid-Man- (movie cuts again) -narnacle Boy, unite! (both put rings together. Then 'FIN' comes on-screen with a fish fin in the background. The movie ends. Almost everyone is disappointed, confused, and/or asleep. SpongeBob and Patrick, however, are cheering)

'''Mermaid Man''': Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. (bends his arm. His bone breaks)

'''Barnacle Boy''': Well, at least some of them. (all four laugh)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2022-11-26T02:34:27Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
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Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Sea Bear]] (debut)
*[[Sea Rhinoceros]] (debut)
*Fish on the Dance Quarterly calendar

==Dialogue==
(episode begins at Squidward's house)

'''Squidward''': Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? (thought bubble appears with SpongeBob and Patrick in a forest)

'''SpongeBob''': (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared!

'''Squidward''': Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?! (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?

'''SpongeBob''': We are camping.

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.

'''SpongeBob''': Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us?

'''Squidward''': No.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back)

'''Squidward''': What do you mean, "have fun inside"?

'''SpongeBob''': Just...have fun inside. See you tomorrow.

'''Squidward''': Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing!

'''SpongeBob''': What?

'''Squidward''': Don't think I can't see what you're doing!

'''SpongeBob''': What?

'''Squidward''': You're saying I can't take it!

'''SpongeBob''': But all I...

'''Squidward''': AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves)

'''SpongeBob''': Okay. Have fun inside. (Squidward comes back and yells at them)

'''Squidward''': '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house)

'''SpongeBob''': (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on)

'''Squidward''': Now you'll see how a real... (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out a remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground)

'''SpongeBob''': That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside?

'''Patrick''': Yeah, it's all crushy-looking.

'''Squidward''': It isn't ''put up'' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh?

'''SpongeBob''': Customization.

'''Patrick''': Genius!

'''Squidward''': (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah!

'''SpongeBob''': He's tenderizing the ground!

'''Patrick''': Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope)

'''SpongeBob''': Write that down! Write that down! (Patrick is playing Tic-Tac-Toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent)

'''Squidward''': Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right?

'''SpongeBob''': Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of [[Marsh King]] marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut)

'''Patrick''': Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well)

'''SpongeBob''': SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over.

'''Patrick''': (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going... (imitates static) Over.

'''SpongeBob''': (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them. Imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over.

'''Patrick''': (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed!

'''Squidward''': Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of [[Swedish Barnacle Balls]]... (holds up the can in his hand) ...just as soon as I can get my can opener.

'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here?

'''Squidward''': Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house.

'''SpongeBob''': But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit.

'''Patrick''': Pretty weenie.

'''Squidward''': All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) OK. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun?

'''SpongeBob''': Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

'''Music:''' "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
'''Patrick''': Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
'''Patrick''': SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

'''SpongeBob''': Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing?

'''Squidward''': No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Kumbaya")

'''SpongeBob''': Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better?

'''Squidward''': '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!'''

'''SpongeBob''': But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract... (whispers) ...a sea bear.

'''Squidward''': A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!'''

'''SpongeBob''': What are you saying?

'''Squidward''': There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''[[The Bikini Bottom Inquirer|Bikini Bottom Inquirer]]''! (holds up the magazine)

'''Squidward''': (reads cover) "I Married a Sea Bear?"

'''Patrick''': Yeah, and ''[[Fake Science Monthly]]''! (holds up the magazine)

'''Squidward''': (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

'''Patrick''': Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''!

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin...

'''Squidward''': You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.

'''Squidward''': Okay. Then what?

'''SpongeBob''': Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.

'''Patrick''': Flashlights are their natural prey.

'''Squidward''': You're kidding.

'''SpongeBob''': Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.

'''Patrick''': Yeah.

'''Squidward''': Go on.

'''SpongeBob''': Don't ever eat cheese.

'''Squidward''': Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob and Patrick converse quietly to each other)

'''SpongeBob''': Cubed; sliced is fine.

'''Squidward''': Yeah, yeah, and?

'''SpongeBob''': Never wear a sombrero-

'''Patrick''': In a goofy fashion!

'''SpongeBob''': Or clown shoes.

'''Patrick''': Or a hoop skirt.

'''SpongeBob''': And never...

'''Patrick''': Ever...

'''SpongeBob''': Ever...

'''Patrick''': Duh!

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!'''''

'''Squidward''': Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (SpongeBob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': They're horrible!

'''Squidward''': And... and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger!

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Why?

'''Squidward''': I don't know... (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling!'''

'''SpongeBob''': No.

'''Squidward''': Yes.

'''SpongeBob''': No!

'''Squidward''': (begins making monkey & chimp noises) ''U! Uh! Uh! U!''

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!!'''''

'''Squidward''': (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!''

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries)

'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an [[Anti-Sea Bear Circle|anti-sea-bear circle]] in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them)

'''Squidward''': (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!''

'''Patrick''': Good thinking! (holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack.

'''Squidward''': (ends the screeching) ''Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!'' (laughs) You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up?

'''SpongeBob''': Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion.

'''Squidward''': Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down. Cut to reveal the fin was that of a sea bear's)

'''SpongeBob''': No. Like that. (the sea bear growls. Squidward screams and runs off. The sea bear attacks Squidward) Squidward, are you okay?

'''Squidward''': No.

'''SpongeBob''': (bringing the anti-sea bear circle with him and Patrick) Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back.

'''Patrick''': Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once.

'''Squidward''': Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life!

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': No...! (the sea bear comes back and attacks Squidward again)

'''SpongeBob''': Don't run! Sea bears hate that!

'''Squidward''': Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': NO...! (the sea bear comes back and attacks Squidward again)

'''SpongeBob''': They hate limping more than running!

'''Squidward''': Well, I guess I'll just have... (the sea bear comes back and attacks Squidward again)

'''SpongeBob''': I should have warned you about crawling. (the sea bear comes back and attacks Squidward again)

'''Squidward''': What'd I do that time?

'''SpongeBob''': I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

'''Patrick''': Pretend to be somebody else!

'''SpongeBob''': Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick)

'''Squidward''': OK. (the sea bear comes back and attacks Squidward again)

'''SpongeBob''': That was an oval! It has to be a circle!

'''Squidward''': '''''Move over!''''' (runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle. The seabear sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves) Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life.

'''All''': Hooray, hooray, hooray!

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''.

'''Squidward''': What attracts them?

'''Patrick''': The sound of a sea bear attack. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them)

'''SpongeBob''': Heh, good thing we're all wearing our [[Anti-Sea Rhinoceros Undergarments|anti-sea rhinoceros undergarments]], right, Squidward?

'''Squidward''': (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Mid-Life Crustacean

2022-11-26T02:32:42Z

135.26.76.254: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Mid-Life Crustacean (Episode)|Mid-Life Crustacean]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[Mama Krabs]]

==Dialogue==
(Mr. Krabs wakes up in his hammock in his bedroom. The radio clicks on) 

'''Radio DJ''': You've got it tuned to K-O-L-D, K-Old, your all-oldies station. Here's a little something you may remember from the good old days. (song plays)

Music: "[[You're Old]]"
You're old (you're old...)
Groaning like a geezer

(Mr. Krabs opens his eyes, which are crusty)

Hear yourself a-crackin' like an old has-been

(Mr. Krabs gets out of bed with all his joints cracking when he moves)

Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins

(Mr. Krabs is looking in his bathroom mirror. He pulls down his shirt to show a bunch of chins)

'Cause you're old...

(bubble-wipe to the kitchen. Mr. Krabs sits down at the table as Pearl comes in) 

'''Pearl''': Good morning, Daddy! (gives him a kiss) I made you breakfast. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Thank you, sweet pea. I see you got creative with the bran today. (looks down at the plate to see his bran shaped as bacon, eggs, juice, and others) 

'''Pearl''': Open up, it's time for the pill! (Pearl takes out a giant pill) 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, barnacles! I hate the pill. (Pearl shoves the giant pill in his mouth and he swallows it) Pearl, do you think I'm...old? 

Pearl: Well, of course I do! But that's ok. Daddies are supposed to be old. 

Mr. Krabs: But I'm still cool, right? Your old man is cool? 

Pearl: See, no one says cool anymore. That's such an old-person thing. Now we say 'coral', as in, 'That nose job is so coral.' 

Mr. Krabs: Coral, eh? 

Pearl: Eww, when you say it, it sounds so uncoral. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, what if I said it with a different inflection? Co-ral. 

Pearl: Don't you have to go to work or something, Dad? 

Mr. Krabs: Whoop, you're right! (eats his breakfast) Have a coral day, honey! 

Pearl: (picks up her phone and dials) [[Jenny]]? It's Pearl. "Coral" is definitely out. (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs walking outside) 

Mr. Krabs: Ha! Old? What was I thinkin'? I ain't old. Huh? (turns around to see a boy helping him walk across) 

'''Boy Scout''': Don't worry, Pops, we're almost across the street. 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, get away from me. I don't need no snot-nosed little... (as he walks away, his arm comes off. Walks back to get it) Sorry you had to see that. (keeps walking to work where a fish is walking behind him) 

'''Fish''': Come on, move it! Could you be any slower? And you've had your blinker on for the last five blocks. (Mr. Krabs turns around and notices he has two signals on his bottom. What are you, a car? He continues to walk until a ball rolls next to him) 

'''Kid''': Hey, mister, could you throw the ball back over here? 

Mr. Krabs: (picks up the ball) Hey, how's about I join you kids? 

'''Kid''': Uhh, that's okay. You can keep it. Why do old people always have to ruin the fun? (Mr. Krabs drops the ball. He walks up to a line of elderly fish) 

'''Elderly Fish #1''': Hey, no cuttin'! You gotta wait your turn like everybody else! (Mr. Krabs notices a long line in front of the Bikini Bottom Cemetery) 

Mr. Krabs: No! No! I ain't old like you! I ain't old! I ain't old! (runs away) 

'''Elderly Fish #2''': What's his problem? (the line is for ice cream)

'''[[Lou]]''': Next? (scene cuts to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is sitting a table depressed) 

'''[[Billy]]''': Mommy, my Krabby Patty tastes funny. 

'''Mother''': Well, no wonder. It's all old and dried out. Like that man right there. (points to Mr. Krabs) Now put that thing where it belongs... in the garbage. (Billy walks up to the trashcan but Mr. Krabs grabs his patty before he can get there) 

Mr. Krabs: Well, little patty, we're two of a kind. We've both lost our luster. (takes a bite out of the patty) Hmmm, so that's what I taste like. 

Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew! (SpongeBob pokes his head out of the kitchen window) 

SpongeBob: (shouts) Hey Patrick! You all ready for the big night out tonight? 

'''Patrick''': (shouts) Yeah, it's gonna rock! 

SpongeBob: Are you ready to go crazy? 

'''Patrick''': I'm already hearing voices! 

SpongeBob: Are you ready to-- 

Squidward: SPONGEBOB! PATRICK! DO YOU MIND?! 

SpongeBob: Let's continue this conversation in private, Patrick. I think some people are eavesdropping! 

'''Patrick''': Well, how rude of some people! 

Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, those youngsters are going out for a big night on the town. (stretches his eyes into the kitchen where SpongeBob & Patrick are talking) 

SpongeBob: Whoo, I've been looking forward to this night all week! 

'''Patrick''': Party! 

SpongeBob: What do you think we should do first? 

'''Patrick''': What shouldn't we do first? We're young, (Mr. Krabs' eyes move a little closer) we've got wheels, (Mr. Krabs' eyes move closer) the world is our oyster! SpongeBob, you got something on your shoulder. (SpongeBob notices Mr. Krabs' eyes are on his shoulders) 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, boys, hangin' out? 

'''Patrick''': (looks at his belly) Yes. 

Mr. Krabs: I couldn't help overhearing your big plans. And I was wondering if you had room for one more craaaaazy dude tonight, huh? 

SpongeBob: Of course. Did you wanna come with us, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, hadn't even crossed me mind. But, sure, I'll go! 

'''Patrick''': I don't know, SpongeBob. He might cramp our style. 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': (appears in a picture with a goofy look on them) Style! 

'''Patrick''': Let's see if he knows the secret cool-guy handshake. (holds out his hand) 

Mr. Krabs: Uhh, yeah, course I know it! (begins to sweat) Uhh... uhh... 

'''Patrick''': I'm waiting... old man. 

Mr. Krabs: (shakes Patrick's hand) Uhh... how do you do? 

'''Patrick''': Fine, and you? All right, you're in. But I'm not happy about it. 

SpongeBob: You passed the test, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: Great! Why don't you boys show up at my house at eight o'clock? 

SpongeBob: I just want to warn you, Mr. Krabs. We're always fashionably late. (time card appears)

'''French Narrator''': ''8:01 PM.'' (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' house. The doorbell rings) 

SpongeBob: Hey there, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready to party? 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party? 

'''Patrick''': I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, Patrick? 

'''Patrick''': I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to par- (Pearl runs by them) 

Pearl: Stop it, just stop it! You're embarrassing me, Dad! 

Mr. Krabs: So, what kind of hot rod will we be cruising in tonight? 

SpongeBob: Only the most powerful chick magnet in town. The Underwater Heartbreaker. (we see a bike with two streamers on each handle) 

Mr. Krabs: It's more like a chick repellent. And there's only two seats! 

SpongeBob: Calm your waters, Mr. Krabs. I modified this little baby myself. (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick riding at the front of the bike while Mr. Krabs is in a wagon behind them) 

Mr. Krabs: Are you sure this is what the kids are driving these days? 

SpongeBob: Only the cool kids. (a hot rod, driven by a young teen, pulls up beside them) 

'''Driver''': Hey, you guys must be lost. Doofus Drive is around the corner! 

SpongeBob: We're not lost, I've got my compass. (shows him the compass) 

'''Driver''': So long, dorks! (speeds away) 

SpongeBob: Goodbye, pals! 

Mr. Krabs: We used to beat people up for saying things like that! Everything's all topsy-turvy now! (they pull up to 'The Wash') 

SpongeBob: Here we are: [[The Wash]]. 

Mr. Krabs: They sure are giving these clubs some crazy names! I have to tell you boys... I'm a little nervous. I haven't been, you know, on the scene for quite a while now. 

SpongeBob: Just follow our lead, Mr. Krabs. And, above all, keep it cool. 

Mr. Krabs: Cool. Gotcha. (SpongeBob and Patrick walk away jumping up and down in a goofy way. Mr. Krabs does the same) 

SpongeBob: (opens door) Hello, gang! SpongeBob’s back! 

'''Patrick''': Let's party! 

Mr. Krabs: Any port in a sto--! wait a minute. This is a laundromat. (scene shows the entire room is a place to do your laundry) 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': (all three are looking at their reflections in the washer) Oh yeah, whoo! That's what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah! Yeah, the colors! whoo! (washer stops) 

SpongeBob: You guys want another rinse cycle? I'm buying. 

Mr. Krabs: You know, I love staring at delicates as much as the next guy, but it's just that I thought we'd see more of the nightlife. Something that'll give you that wild and crazy hot-blooded feeling, if you know what I mean. 

SpongeBob: Oh, I know what you mean, Mr. Krabs. This is only stop numero uno on our night of debauchery! 

'''Patrick''': Debauchery! 

Mr. Krabs: Debauchery! (scene cuts to the road where all three are picking up trash) Debauchery? I never thought of picking up trash under the highway as hot-blooded, but if it's what the kids are into... 

SpongeBob: So, are you feeling that wild and crazy feeling, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: Not yet. 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, you will. (scene cuts to all three in a kiddie swimming pool) Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling a warm spot. 

'''Patrick''': Sorry. (scene cuts to them riding kiddie rides outside Barg'n Mart)

SpongeBob: Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? Are you feeling it? 

'''Patrick''': I'm feeling it, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's not a ride! (Patrick is riding on a fish's back) 

'''Fish''': Get off of me! (scene cuts to them getting their teeth pulled) 

SpongeBob: Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to them redoing a roof) Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to them dressed in fantasy costumes) Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? (scene cuts to the library) Can you feel it now, Mr. Krabs? 

'''[[Miss Shell|Librarian]]''': Shh! (scene cuts to [[Bunny Buns]])

SpongeBob: How about now? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? (kids in the room around running around Mr. Krabs, hanging on his hat streamers. Mr. Krabs has clown make-up on his face)

'''Kids''': Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: So, you wanna know if I can feel it? 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yeah!

Mr. Krabs: Do you really wanna know if I can feel it? 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yeah, yeah!

Mr. Krabs: Because I can feel it. You wanna know what I'm feelin'? 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yes!

Mr. Krabs: (angry) I'm feelin' like a total barnacle head! (swings the screaming kids around and around then off his hat) You think this is cool?! (jumps on a bunny and punches its head off) How about this?! (jumps on top of the bunny) And this?! Am I with it now?! (runs up to SpongeBob and Patrick) You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the end! I'm going home! You guys ain't cool! You're lame! 

SpongeBob: (depressed) Lame? 

Mr. Krabs: Lame! You're nerds! Geeks! Creeps! And babies! 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Not babies! (both suck their thumbs) 

Mr. Krabs: I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So good night to you! 

'''Patrick''': I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid. 

Mr. Krabs: The what? 

'''Patrick''': I said, I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid. 

Mr. Krabs: Panty raid? You're talking about girls, right? Girl girls? 

'''Patrick''': Yeah. 

Mr. Krabs: And you're talking about raiding their dressers for their underpants, right? 

'''Patrick''': Oh, yeah. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, count me in! If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two being lame! 

'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': (happy) Not lame! (bubble-wipe to the three of them carrying a ladder) 

Mr. Krabs: Now this is more like it! (lean the ladder against a house) 

'''Patrick''': Give us some credit, old man. We're panty professionals! (climbs the ladder) 

SpongeBob: We score here all the time. (all three tiptoe into a bedroom. Mr. Krabs opens a drawer and takes out a pair of panties) 

Mr. Krabs: Frilly things! We hit the jackpot! (everyone jumps up and down) 

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah, Mr. Krabs! (Patrick laughs excitedly)

Mr. Krabs: (holds up the pair of underwear he got) Woohoo! You finally came through for me, boys! I feel young again! (the light turns on) 

'''Mama Krabs''': Eugene? 

Mr. Krabs: Mother? 

'''Mama Krabs''': What are you doing with my bloomers?! 

Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uhh, uhh, heh, hehe... (turns around to SpongeBob and Patrick) Why didn't you tell me this was my mother's house?! 

SpongeBob: Why didn't you ask? (both run away. Mr. Krabs turns around to his mother smiling with her angry and disappointed) 

Mr. Krabs: But it was all SpongeBob and Patrick's idea! 

'''Mama Krabs''': Go to your room, mister! You're grounded for the rest of the night! 

Mr. Krabs: (walks away) Yes, Mommy. (boy scout from earlier is walking with Mr. Krabs) 

'''Boy Scout''': Don't worry, Pops. We're almost to your room. (Mr. Krabs groans. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' his childhood bedroom. SpongeBob peeks through the window) 

SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: (sighs) That's all right, lad. I certainly feel younger. (scene zooms out revealing Mr. Krabs is sitting in his childhood racecar-shaped bed) 

SpongeBob: Good night, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Good night, SpongeBob. (SpongeBob starts going home) 

'''Mama Krabs''': (mad) Eugene, lights out! 

Mr. Krabs: Yes, Mommy. (light turns off)

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V

2022-11-26T02:30:42Z

135.26.76.254: /* Dialogue */

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Chocolate With Nuts|Chocolate With Nuts]]
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Episode Article: [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]/[[Barnacle Man]]
*[[Dirty Bubble]]
*[[Man Ray]]
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (cameo)
*[[The Chief]] (4 cameos)

==Dialogue==

'''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration. 

'''Frank''': Will you hurry up? 

'''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm... 

'''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line. 

'''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty. 

'''Mermaid Man''': I've made my decision. 

'''Line of Customers''': Hooray! 

'''Mermaid Man''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy. 

'''Barnacle Boy''': Now, wait just a darn minute. 

'''Line of Customers''': Awww... 

'''Barnacle Boy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty. 

'''Mermaid Man''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it. 

'''Barnacle Boy''': Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (Everybody laughs) 

'''Barnacle Boy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out) 

'''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak Patty (Shows a small Patty with a smile with pickles and Ketchup) and your bib and high chair. (Everybody laughs again) 

'''Barnacle Boy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty! 

'''Mermaid Man''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you? 

'''Barnacle Boy''': (Glaring) Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand as everybody gasps) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me. 

'''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man! 

'''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Oh, forget it, people. I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil. 

'''SpongeBob''': Evil?? 

'''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly. Mr. Krabs slaps MM) 

'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL!!! 

'''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab) 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in) 

'''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil? 

'''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man-Ray and The Dirty Bubble! (Barnacle Man gets in villain car) 

'''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat! (The villain car drives off) 

'''Mermaid Man''': Nighty-night. (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in? (Squidward glares) 

'''Johnny''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this special news break. Man-Ray (Manray on TV shoots down a building with his powers originally both a plane and the building), The Dirty Bubble (He absorbs a bank into himself), and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy... 

'''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man! 

'''Johnny''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching) 

'''Barnacle Man''': Shh! 

'''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids. 

'''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, otherwise known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking ''you'' all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly again. Mr. Krabs slaps MM again) 

'''Mermaid Man''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men) Goes right through me every time.

'''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance. (Drives off) 

'''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat all three of those guys all by yourself? 

'''Mermaid Man''': You're right. (sits down) I give up. 

'''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you? 

'''Mermaid Man''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me? 

'''SpongeBob''': Okay. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Who wants to save the world? 

'''SpongeBob''': I do! 

'''Sandy''': I do! 

'''Patrick''': I do! 

'''Squidward''': I don't. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money. Now go save the world, or you're fired! 

'''Mermaid Man''': Then it's settled. To the Mermalair! 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair! 

'''Mermaid Man''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! (Holds up a lunchbox of MM and the superheroes as Barnacle Boy is taped off as an enemy) And you had the best lunch box, too. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours. 

'''Sandy''': Wow. I didn't think super powers worked that way. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Sure, power's all in the costume. Why else would we run around in colored undies? 

'''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons. 

'''Narrator''': The Quickster... with the ability to run really... quick! 

'''The Quickster (SpongeBob SquarePants)''': Wanna see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Wanna see me do it again? 

'''Narrator''': Captain Magma... get him angry and he's bound to erupt! 

'''Captain Magma (Squidward Tentacles)''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out) 

'''Narrator''': The Elastic Waistband... able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms! 

'''The Elastic Waistband (Patrick Star)''': I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands) 

'''Narrator''': And Miss Appear... now you see her... (disappears) ... now you don't. 

'''Miss Appear (Sandy Cheeks)''': Does this outfit make me look fat? 

'''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom. (Indonesian Version: A masterpiece of the nation.]) 

'''Mermaid Man''': So, it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives. 

'''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help. 

'''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! It's the chief! 

'''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am. More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L. 

'''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what? 

'''Sandy''': You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde". 

'''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo! 

'''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef! 

'''Mermaid Man''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children! 

'''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times. 

'''Mermaid Man''': To Make-Out Reef, away! 

'''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza? 

(Cut to a reef on the summit of a mountain)

'''John & Nancy''': Stop, please! 

'''E.V.I.L.''': John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! 

'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, Man-Ray! 

'''Man-Ray''': Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow) 

'''Fish'''': Hey, man, that's not cool. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Leave those young lovers alone! 

'''Man-Ray''': Well if it isn't Milkmaid Man! Well you've saved us the trouble of tracking you down. 

'''Mermaid Man''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered! 

'''Man-Ray''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you! (SpongeBob runs to Mermaid Man's side) 

'''SpongeBob''': Make that two! 

'''Man-Ray''': The Quickster! 

'''Squidward''': (He volcanoes like a rocket next to Mermaid Man) Three! 

'''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma! 

'''Patrick''': (Patrick stretches himself in loops and circles next to Mermaid Man) Four! 

'''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband! 

'''Sandy''': (Appears out of nowhere) Five. 

'''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear! 

'''Mermaid Man''': And me makes ten...uhh, I think. 

'''Man-Ray''': Uh-oh.

'''Dirty Bubble''': I don't have a good feeling about this. 

'''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Super Acquaintances, attack! 

'''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy! 

'''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster) 

'''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off! 

'''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save The Quickster but ends up getting pulled in circles with the Quickster. Patrick rockets out of the grip of the Quickster and lands on the ground as his stretched arms unravel back at him to tie him stuck to the ground) 

'''Mermaid Man''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (He creates a water ball and sees the Quickster in concentration, but targets Captain Magma instead) Aha! 

'''Squidward''': (Mermaid Man is facing Captain Magma) Huh? No, no, I'm not the quickster. I'm Captain Mag... (gets hit and burns up) ma. (disintegrates into dust) 

'''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! (Vanishes) I'll sneak over... unseen... and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her smashing through the sign of the site and off the cliff, screaming) br>

'''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as blue shoes) Whew. I'm glad that's over. (E.V.I.L looks around to see the defeated super heroes and Mermaid Man falls on his back to surrender.)

'''Barnacle Man''': We did it. We won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! (Barnacle Man approaches the fallen Mermaid Man and laughs maniacally) You've lost, Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands. 

'''Mermaid Man''': Okay, what do you want? 

'''Man-Ray''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination! 

'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, and make him eat dirt! Ha! (ManRay glares at him) In addition to the domination thing. 

'''Barnacle Man''': Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three... 

'''Man-Ray''': Come on, domination! 

'''Barnacle Man''': ....I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty. 

'''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt? 

'''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes) 

'''Mermaid Man''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty! 

'''Man-Ray''': Was that it? Oh, that's sickening. 

'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. (laughs) Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for and... 

'''Man-Ray''': (Obviously angered) Oh, Neptune, shut up. 

(Back at The Krusty Krab)

'''Mermaid Man''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man? 

'''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs, starting with the heroes, SpongeBob, and his friends, who were all wrapped up or casted. Then we see a fish and his pillow he kissed laughing, and then it was the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray, who in jail, and finally, the chief, who is still making out.)

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

The Pink Purloiner (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:23:28Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|The Pink Purloiner|Titlecard-The Pink Purloiner.jpg|79a|4|February 19, 2007|Best Frenemies|Squid Wood}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Gestaendnisteddy.jpg|300px]]</center>Patrick and Confess-A-Bear
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''"The Pink Purloiner"''' is an episode from [[Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] (cameo)
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
*[[Perch Perkins]]
*[[French Narrator]]
*[[Peterson]]
*[[Jellyfish]]
**[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
**[[Speckled Squirter]]
**[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
**[[Gold Throated Singer]]
*[[Johnny]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob gets a new jellyfishing net, and calls it "Ol’ Reliable". The following morning, it turns up missing, and he posts missing jellyfish-net posters all over town with a promise of a reward. He later begins to assume and suspect Patrick of stealing his net, as Patrick had once said recently that he would do anything for a net like Ol’ Reliable. SpongeBob does anything to reveal Patrick as a thief, and makes lots of plans but all of them are proven Patrick innocent, and eventually sees Patrick carrying a box. To him, his last plan is to dress up as a Scottish man with a moustache, who is interested in purchasing what is in the box, in order to take it from Patrick. Patrick says that the contents of the box belong to SpongeBob, and at first SpongeBob believes that his suspicions concerning Patrick's so-called "thievery" are true. Patrick is a bit upset because SpongeBob is framing him. But to his great surprise, it is revealed that the box contains a very special net built by Patrick, especially for SpongeBob. SpongeBob doesn't know what to say. He is torn between gratitude for Patrick's generosity, and guilt for accusing his friend falsely.

Patrick gets upset at SpongeBob for ever suspecting him, and prepares to leave Bikini Bottom. The bus arrives and Patrick is about to climb aboard when SpongeBob grabs hold of him, begging his friend not to go while pleading earnestly for Patrick's forgiveness. The bus driver demands to know what the hold-up is, and when he sees that it is SpongeBob and Patrick, he gives SpongeBob Ol' Reliable, saying he left the net on the bus (again). To make up for his accusations against Patrick, SpongeBob gives Ol' Reliable to his friend, for keeps. Patrick is utterly overwhelmed by this gesture, and immediately decides to forgive SpongeBob for SpongeBob’s thoughtlessness, and stay in Bikini Bottom after all. Everyone on the bus cheers, much to the chagrin of the bus driver, who claims that SpongeBob and Patrick do this kind of thing all the time.
SpongeBob and Patrick then run off to Jellyfish Fields together to enjoy their new nets.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The Pink Purloiner is a spoof of "The Pink Panther".
*The bus driver from the episode: [[Rock Bottom]] is the bus driver in this episode.
* The Ol' Reliable jellyfishing net is the same one (or looks a lot like) as the one in The Best Day Ever.
*The first appearance of colorful jellyfish.
*Ol' Reliable is not to be confused with SpongeBob's new net in [[Best Day Ever]].
*We never see SpongeBob leave the net on the bus.
*It's noticable that SpongeBob left the net in the bus because when they are going to their homes, SpongeBob didn't have it.
*This is the second time it's shown a dollar (real or fake) that was drawn by a crayon. The first was in [[Wet Painters]].
*In this episode, Patrick's rock's weather vane is pointing to the left, while in all other episodes, it points to the right.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: The Pink Purloiner|Transcript for The Pink Purloiner]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

[[de:Der Quallenfischernetzdieb (Episode)]]

Best Frenemies (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:22:59Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|Best Frenemies|Titlecard-Best Frenemies.jpg|78b|4|March 31, 2007|Born To Be Wild|The Pink Purloiner}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Tang-Shake.jpg|300px]]</center>Kelp Shake
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''Best Frenemies''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Karen]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]] Citizens
*[[Pearl Krabs|Pearl Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]

==Plot==
The episode starts as a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs goes to talk to Squidward when he sees everyone is drinking a shake, including SpongeBob. He tells Mr. Krabs about the drink called the "Kelpshake." So Mr. Krabs starts worrying about his restaurant and goes to see what mood Plankton is in. He does not know what is going on because he was sunbathing. Then the two starts worrying and they notice Kelp statements are everywhere so they both try to steal a Kelp Shake and discover what it made of. They go to a Kelpshake and they form a queue. Mr. Krabs pretends to cough and throws Plankton to the kitchen but he crashes on a door. That night they both try to enter but an alarm wakes up a guard worm that attacks them.

The next day the both of them buy a KelpShake and go to the Chum Bucket to analyze what it is made. Karen starts analyzing, but Plankton gets impatient and interrupts the progress of the analyzer. Then, Plankton and Mr. Krabs try drinking the kelpshake. That midday, SpongeBob appears covered by light green kelp. Then all Kelp restaurants are closed because of being unhealthy. Two Decontaminants revealed that it will take decades to get rid of the unhealthy toxic waste and they are sorry for whoever drank this. Then Mr. Krabs and Plankton gets light green hairy kelp all over their bodies.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This is the first time [[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] has interacted with Karen. He interacts with her again in [[Friend or Foe?]].
*The expression "frenemies" is inspired by Elizabeth Everitt's term of her crush Bailey Valint and her acquaintance Shane Griffin. She is a friend of the creator's daughter.
*This is the second episode where Mr. Krabs and Plankton become friends. The first time was in [[New Leaf]]. The third time is in [[the Other Patty (Episode)|The Other Patty]].
*This episode was originally going to be entitled "KelpShakes".
*This is the fourth episode where SpongeBob isn't a main character. The first 3 were [[SB-129]], [[Plankton's Army]], and [[New Leaf]] and it happens later on in [[Rise and Shine (Episode)|Rise and Shine]]
*The rapid expanding of the [[KelpShake]] franchise parodies the real life franchise Starbucks' Coffee.
*The sentence Mr. Krabs said (Kelpshake, kelpshake. Oh how I love a kelpshake.) is similar to the quote (Tuesday, Tuesday. Oh I love a Tuesday...) in the show South Park in the episode Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
*The Title Card music is actually a piece of backround music from the episodes [[Clams]] & [[Krabs vs. Plankton]].
*The "watch dog" (really, a worm) looks like the same worm in [[The Lost Mattress]], [[Cousin BlackJack SquarePants|BlackJack]]'s pet worm, and the police worms in [[Slide Whistle Stooges]].

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Best Frenemies|Transcript for Best Frenemies]]

{{Season4}}
[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]
[[de:Beste Fr-einde (Episode)]]

Hooky (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:22:38Z

135.26.76.254: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{{EpInfo|Hooky|Titlecard Hooky.jpg|20a|1|8 April 2000|Neptune's Spatula|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Hooky.jpg|300px]]</center>"I sense no danger here." — Patrick Star
|-
|}
'''Hooky''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 1|Season 1]].

==Info==

===Characters===
*[[French Narrator]]
*[[Fisherman]] (debut)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
**[[Puppet SpongeBob]] (debut)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
**[[Puppet Mr.Krabs]] (debut)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**[[Puppet Patrick]] (debut)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Pearl Krabs]]
*Pearl's friends
*Customers at [[Krusty Krab]]
*Fishermen

==Plot==
At the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs rushes in shouting like a maniac. He tells of the return of (fishing) hooks. SpongeBob is confused, and Mr. Krabs tells him that he should not go near a hook, or he will be brought up further than the surface and he will be eaten or sold at a gift shop. Patrick tells SpongeBob that the carnival has come to town and insists SpongeBob to come with him. He agrees, assuming that he's not quitting work but just taking a break. Much to SpongeBob's horror, though, the "carnival" is actually the set of hooks to Mr. Krabs warned everyone about. Patrick deliberately hooks himself. SpongeBob cries, until he sees Patrick again. He demands to know what happened, and he said that he floated down before he reached the surface and it is fun. Mr. Krabs catches them, and tells them off. However, the next day, Patrick persuades SpongeBob to play 'hooky' again. As a result, Patrick is taken up to the surface. Then, SpongeBob literally gets hooked, and now he thinks ''he's'' going to get pulled up to the surface as well. Mr. Krabs tells SpongeBob that the only way to get the hook off is to take off his clothes right in front of Pearl and her friends, who laugh very hard. SpongeBob gets so upset that he cries out loud and runs back to his house. Whilst he is running, it then turns out that ''Squidward'' hooked SpongeBob in order to teach him a lesson; both Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh sadistically. Meanwhile, Patrick is dropped off by a bus while trapped in a tuna can. He asks "Does somebody have a can opener?" and the episode ends.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The events in this episode are a metaphor for skipping school or work. This is shown by SpongeBob skipping work to see the hooks and getting "hooked" by one the next day ("hooky" is a slang term for truancy).
*While promoting The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, the title character of that show appeared in the lower-right hand corner on the day of its premiere and due to one of his inventions temporarily transformed the cartoon into a puppet show during the scene where Mr. Krabs is making SpongeBob and Patrick recite an oath he is giving.
*Character death was implied when a young fish's shoes was seen near the hooks and Patrick says a kid was there earlier and a skeleton of his/her mother was shown but deleted and both would have made the episode banned.
*When SpongeBob came out of his house for work, he says "I'm ready" four times, but closed captions show him saying that line three times.
*When Mr. Krabs' claw is in SpongeBob's eyes, his thumb is gone.
*During the second shot where the fisherman is reeling in SpongeBob and Patrick, if you look closely, there are water drops on the camera lens.
*In the video game ''SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge'' there is a level based on this episode called "Fish Hooks Park."

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Hooky]]

{{Season1}}
[[de:Am Haken (Episode)]]

Born To Be Wild (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:21:28Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|Born To Be Wild|Titlecard-Born To Be Wild.jpg|78a|4|March 31, 2007|Rule of Dumb|Best Frenemies}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Bikerz1.jpg|300px]]</center>The Bikini Bottom bad boys are here.
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''"Born to Be Wild"''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[The Mild Ones]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Sadie Rechid]]
*[[Billy (Teenager)]]
*[[Charlie]]
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*[[Dennis]]
*Customers at the [[Krusty Krab]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob is jellyfishing. Some men on motorcycles drive past him, and SpongeBob holds on to one of the men's jackets, ripping a 'W' off the jacket. He looks at the jacket when he has to let go of it. He presumes it says 'The ild Ones', but he soon notices the 'W' in his hand and figures out that they are called 'The Wild Ones'. After someone tells him about the Wild Ones, SpongeBob runs to tell Mr. Krabs (actually, SpongeBob "takes the shortcut, which is a piggyback ride on a bubble). Mr. Krabs of course believes that the Wild Ones are coming to eat Krabby Patties, and makes the Krusty Krab biker themed, so SpongeBob tells Patrick. Mr. Krabs puts up a banner saying 'WELCOME WILD ONES!' on the Krusty Krab and raises his prices in order to get them to eat there after hearing SpongeBob describes them as "ravenous". SpongeBob is worried because he is scared for the people of [[Bikini Bottom]]s safety After Patrick says that if they dressed up like bikers, they would be the big scary bikers, SpongeBob and Patrick decide to dress in biker attire and ride into town on a paddle-unicycle and a paddle-tricycle, respectively. After the bikers arrive at The Krusty Krab and after Patrick abandons SpongeBob and leaves Bikini Bottom, it turns out that they are old folk. The actual name of the biker gang is 'The Mild Ones'. SpongeBob had the 'M' upside-down. The biker that had the "M" ripped off his jacket gets his "M" back from SpongeBob and The Mild Ones ride away. Shortly after this, it is revealed that Squidward decided to go with them.

==Cultural References==
*The title is based on the Steppenwolf song "Born to Be Wild".
*The show Squirrel Boy parodies the episode's title, and makes an episode called Born to be Mild.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*Once, it revealed that SpongeBob is frightened because they ran out of napkins.
*[[The Mild Ones]]' leader is [[Old Man Jenkins]].
*It has revealed that Jellyfish Fields is 50 miles away from [[Bikini Bottom]].
*This is the last episode to use a title card written in white with one other color as a background color. The others before this episode were [[Chimps Ahoy (Episode)|Chimps Ahoy]], [[Have You Seen This Snail? (Episode)|Have You Seen This Snail?]], [[Wet Painters]], and the [[Mermaid Man]] and [[Barnacle Boy]] episodes.
*The title card uses the same name of the Steppenwolf song ''Born to Be Wild''.
*The bubbles that go up usually do that to enter another scene. SpongeBob thinks of them as a shortcut, and, thus, the 4th Wall is broken.
*Blood is shown in this episode as Mr. Krabs told that the jackets have real bloodstains.
*This is the second time Patrick's [[Goofy Goober]] UnderPants have been shown. The First was [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]].
*This is the final episode aired in March.

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Born to Be Wild|Transcript for Born to Be Wild]]

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

{{Season4}}

[[de:Wilde Jungs (Episode)]]

Rule of Dumb (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:18:34Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{Cleanup}}
{{EpInfo|Rule of Dumb|Titlecard-Rule of Dumb.jpg|77b|4|February 19, 2007|Driven to Tears|Born To Be Wild}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary the Snail|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Konigpatrick.jpg|300px]]</center>King Patrick
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''Rule of Dumb''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
**[[King Patrick]] (debut)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Construction Worker]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Herb Star]]
*[[Margie Star]]

===Plot===
A starfish with a suit, tie, and briefcase comes up to Patrick's house and says that he is the heir to the royal throne of Bikini Bottom. He shows Patrick on a royalty list ([[Herb Star|Herb]] and [[Margie Star|Margie]] are on there) and Patrick is next in line to be the king. Patrick is pleased when he gets a shiny crown. SpongeBob decides to help by becoming Patrick's assistant. However, Patrick starts misusing his royal authority over all the people of Bikini Bottom to get whatever he wants. He takes away comic book collections, food and much more.

He gets, among other things, a plasma screen TV, a satellite dish, a set of comic books from a geek, and an indoor, Star shaped swimming pool, and turns his rock into a castle. He even goes so far as to hire a construction team to move away Squidward's house. Then, Squidward tells everyone that Patrick is not a king and they all believe him and do not do stuff for Patrick anymore. Eventually, Patrick looks at himself in the mirror and finds out that he is literally turning into a monster. He decides that friendship is more important than power. Then the handsomely dressed starfish comes back and says that Patrick is not a real king. After wiping away a stain on the Royalty list, he found that the real king is Gary.

===Trivia/Goofs===
*While Patrick orders an attack on Squidward, his house is black.
*The episode name "Rule of Dumb" is a play on the saying "Rule of thumb".
*This episode aired in the United Kingdom before it aired in the United States.
*The quote "With great power comes great responsibility" is a parody of the same line from the Spider-Man comics.
*After Patrick abdicates, Gary is the next ruler of Bikini Bottom. In the family tree, it revealed that they are cousins. Gary's father, Sluggo, appeared as an older brother of Herb Star. Thus, Gary is the correct heir.
*There is a closed captioning error when Patrick starts to become a tyrant. After SpongeBob says, "what being king is all *about.” the captions suddenly freeze during the scene where Patrick takes the comic books away from the comic book collector, then, the captions fast forward to the point where Patrick says, "I love being king!", at the point where the captions play correctly.
*First, there is a castle tower on top of Patrick's house, but at the part where he ran outside of his house in fear, the tower is gone.
*It is known that Gary is behind the coffee stain before the stain is removed.
**In reality, stains cannot be removed from paper.
*It is revealed that Patrick has overdue library books, like how SpongeBob does. See here: [[The Secret Box (Episode)|The Secret Box]].
*This is the first time Patrick's reflection talked to him. The second is in [[Roller Cowards (Episode)|Roller Cowards]].
*In this episode, Gary's food bowl was yellow, while in the other episodes, it is green.
**Or it could be because he is now the king and the bowl may be gold.
*It is revealed that one of the books [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] is burning is called "How to Read", which is really ironic because the reader needs to know how to read first.
*Richie Salmons is a obvious parody of Richard Simmons.
*Patrick owns [[Fancy Eggs]].
*Patrick's reflection is most likely a parody of Norman Osborne's reflection in his (Osborne's) mirror in Spiderman.
*Since Gary and Patrick are cousins it is most likely that Patrick hogged Gary in Dumped for this reason but was either unable to say it or they first met in that episode as cousins.
*It remains unknown how Squidward would think about Gary being king if he disliked Patrick's rule.
*[[Sister Sam]] wasn't featured on the family tree

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Rule of Dumb|Transcript for Rule of Dumb]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

[[de:Eine Träne im Schlagloch (Episode)]]

Rule of Dumb (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:17:02Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{Cleanup}}
{{EpInfo|Rule of Dumb|Titlecard-Rule of Dumb.jpg|77b|4|February 19, 2007|Driven to Tears|Born To Be Wild}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary the Snail|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Konigpatrick.jpg|300px]]</center>King Patrick
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''Rule of Dumb''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[King Patrick]] (debut)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Nat Peterson]]
*[[Harold]]
*[[Construction Worker]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Herb Star]]
*[[Margie Star]]

===Plot===
A starfish with a suit, tie, and briefcase comes up to Patrick's house and says that he is the heir to the royal throne of Bikini Bottom. He shows Patrick on a royalty list ([[Herb Star|Herb]] and [[Margie Star|Margie]] are on there) and Patrick is next in line to be the king. Patrick is pleased when he gets a shiny crown. SpongeBob decides to help by becoming Patrick's assistant. However, Patrick starts misusing his royal authority over all the people of Bikini Bottom to get whatever he wants. He takes away comic book collections, food and much more.

He gets, among other things, a plasma screen TV, a satellite dish, a set of comic books from a geek, and an indoor, Star shaped swimming pool, and turns his rock into a castle. He even goes so far as to hire a construction team to move away Squidward's house. Then, Squidward tells everyone that Patrick is not a king and they all believe him and do not do stuff for Patrick anymore. Eventually, Patrick looks at himself in the mirror and finds out that he is literally turning into a monster. He decides that friendship is more important than power. Then the handsomely dressed starfish comes back and says that Patrick is not a real king. After wiping away a stain on the Royalty list, he found that the real king is Gary.

===Trivia/Goofs===
*While Patrick orders an attack on Squidward, his house is black.
*The episode name "Rule of Dumb" is a play on the saying "Rule of thumb".
*This episode aired in the United Kingdom before it aired in the United States.
*The quote "With great power comes great responsibility" is a parody of the same line from the Spider-Man comics.
*After Patrick abdicates, Gary is the next ruler of Bikini Bottom. In the family tree, it revealed that they are cousins. Gary's father, Sluggo, appeared as an older brother of Herb Star. Thus, Gary is the correct heir.
*There is a closed captioning error when Patrick starts to become a tyrant. After SpongeBob says, "what being king is all *about.” the captions suddenly freeze during the scene where Patrick takes the comic books away from the comic book collector, then, the captions fast forward to the point where Patrick says, "I love being king!", at the point where the captions play correctly.
*First, there is a castle tower on top of Patrick's house, but at the part where he ran outside of his house in fear, the tower is gone.
*It is known that Gary is behind the coffee stain before the stain is removed.
**In reality, stains cannot be removed from paper.
*It is revealed that Patrick has overdue library books, like how SpongeBob does. See here: [[The Secret Box (Episode)|The Secret Box]].
*This is the first time Patrick's reflection talked to him. The second is in [[Roller Cowards (Episode)|Roller Cowards]].
*In this episode, Gary's food bowl was yellow, while in the other episodes, it is green.
**Or it could be because he is now the king and the bowl may be gold.
*It is revealed that one of the books [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] is burning is called "How to Read", which is really ironic because the reader needs to know how to read first.
*Richie Salmons is a obvious parody of Richard Simmons.
*Patrick owns [[Fancy Eggs]].
*Patrick's reflection is most likely a parody of Norman Osborne's reflection in his (Osborne's) mirror in Spiderman.
*Since Gary and Patrick are cousins it is most likely that Patrick hogged Gary in Dumped for this reason but was either unable to say it or they first met in that episode as cousins.
*It remains unknown how Squidward would think about Gary being king if he disliked Patrick's rule.
*[[Sister Sam]] wasn't featured on the family tree

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Rule of Dumb|Transcript for Rule of Dumb]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

[[de:Eine Träne im Schlagloch (Episode)]]

The Thing (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:16:07Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|The Thing|Titlecard-The Thing.jpg|76a|4|January 15, 2007|That's No Lady|Hocus Pocus}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary the Snail|Tom Kenny}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Stinky.jpg|300px]]</center>Squidward as [[Smelly]]
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''The Thing''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]] ([[Smelly]])
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Police]]
*[[Kelpy G]]
*[[Gary the Snail]]
*Other inhabitants of Bikini Bottom

===Places===
*[[Bikini Bottom Zoo]]
*[[SpongeBob's House]]
*[[Squidward's House]]
*[[Kelp Forest]]

==Plot==
Squidward wants to watch TV. However, SpongeBob and Patrick keep asking him questions about the hot clarinet player channel. He made Squidward keep changing the channel. Finally, he gives up his TV time to watch his favorite [[Clarinet]] player to his most dismayed neighbors and go ride his bicycle. However, a cement truck loader carries him and the truck crushes him with lots of cement. The cement soon dries up and Squidward turned into The Thing and he ends up in Jellyfish Fields. There, Squidward complains about himself. He's hungry, lost, tired, and the only good thing he has is no SpongeBob. However, SpongeBob and Patrick a're jellyfishing. Then, they spot The Thing. SpongeBob and Patrick think that The Thing is an endangered species. SpongeBob and Patrick decided to take Squidward home.The Thing tries to get back in his house but Patrick tells him that Squidward is in the house. In SpongeBob's pineapple house, they name him Smelly and soon Gary attacks him. SpongeBob and Patrick decide that Smelly should be Patrick's pet. In Patrick's rock home, Patrick wants to play ball catch with Smelly. However, its getting a ricochet, and soon it gets so angry that he throws the ball at Patrick. Patrick is suddenly very afraid and calls the Animal Control. The police arrive very quickly and catch the Thing at the Easter Island head. SpongeBob tries to defend the Thing but the police officers in the battle and they place Smelly in the zoo exhibit Unknown Species. SpongeBob and Patrick visit the zoo and think that it's not right for Smelly to live a miserable life being laughed at by people at the zoo. The people that laughed at it should be ashamed of themselves for making fun of Smelly. At nighttime, they get inside his zoo cage and try to free him. However, SWAT surrounds them and jumps into the Thing's zoo exhibit to capture SpongeBob and Patrick. They run back inside the Thing's home cave and dive into a sewer hole while the police officers run through the sewer hole lid. While walking into the sewer, SpongeBob and Patrick find a mysterious rainforest with species that look exactly like the Thing.SpongeBob and Patrick decide to let the Thing live the animal species. The animal species carry the Thing to their home, and soon the Thing realizes that they live with the very hot clarinet player on television. Squidward decides to enjoy life, but soon the [[Clarinet]] music causes the Thing's cement skin shell to break, and Squidward is free but is still with the species.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This episode was first released on the [[Season 4, Volume 2]] DVD on January 9, 2007.
*Squidward's alter ego as the cement covered squid name "The Thing" is a parody of the Fantastic 4 hero "The Thing", or probably a parody of the alien (The Thing) from the famous science fiction horror made in 1982 called "The Thing".
*This episode showed that Gary once attacked Squidward before, probably because Gary hated him after he didn't take care of him in [[I Was a Teenage Gary (Episode)|I Was a Teenage Gary]].
*The famous hot clarinet player is first in a city concert, but now he's in the Forest way below Bikini Bottom Zoo
*The second appearance of Bikini Bottom Zoo. The first is [[The Smoking Peanut (Episode)|The Smoking Peanut]].
*Kelpy G is a parody of Kenny G.
*Smelly looks like a Pikmin. (See Smelly article)
*This is the third time when Squidward is wearing a purple robe from [[I Was a Teenage Gary (Episode)|I Was a Teenage Gary]] and [[Good Neighbors (Episode)|Good Neighbors]].
*In this episode SpongeBob was wearing glasses from [[Frankendoodle (Episode)|Frankendoodle]].
*This is the first time something remotely close to a gun appears in Bikini Bottom (the SWAT team are holding harpoon guns). The second time is in [[To Save a Squirrel (Episode)|To Save A Squirrel]].
*When [[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] is watching (or trying to) TV, he holds the remote in his right hand. Afterwards, he holds it in his left hand.
*After this episode Squidward and Gary don't seem to hate each other.
*The jungle in the sewers looks a lot like the Tiki world seen in [[Enchanted Tiki Dreams (Episode)|Enchanted Tiki Dreams]]
*When SpongeBob is saying how it's a great idea that Smellie should stay at Patrick's house, he is holding Gary upside-down.

==Transport==
*[[Episode Transcript: The Thing|Transcript for The Thing]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

That’s No Lady (Episode)

2022-11-26T02:14:57Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{EpInfo|That's No Lady|Titlecard-That's No Lady.jpg|75b|4|November 25, 2006|Squidtastic Voyage|The Thing}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Eugene H. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
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© Viacom
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'''"That's No Lady"''' is an episode from [[Episodes/Season 4|Season 4]].

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Patricia Star]] (debut)
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Sunny Shores Salesman]]
*Krusty Krab Customers
*[[Mr. Seaweed Monster Man]]

==Plot==
While Patrick was running around in Bikini Bottom, a [[Sunny Shores Salesman|stranger]] yells at Patrick telling him to "[[Sunny Shore Resorts|get out of town]]". Patrick becomes convinced he is in danger and tells SpongeBob he's going to move. So he packs "his" things (actually SpongeBob's), and is ready to leave. But SpongeBob tells him he can change his identity. So SpongeBob performs a makeover on Patrick and makes him look like a girl; now known as "Patricia". Everyone falls in love with him, especially Squidward and Mr. Krabs, who only hires "Patricia" since she is a girl. Mr. Krabs and Squidward also flirt with "Patricia", although this doesn't present a problem to him. Patrick has no idea what is making Mr. Krabs and Squidward act so weird and nice to him. All male Bikini Bottomites, fought over Patrick but Patrick ignores them. Later, he finds out the fish was just trying to sell him a luxury vacation. Patrick then strips off all his clothes in the middle of the Krusty Krab. The customers are shocked to see the person they competed over not only a man, but a naked one. When the Bikini Bottomites find out the truth, Squidward's eyelids started to close tight after seeing a naked Patrick. Mr. Krabs fires "[[Patricia]]" because Patrick is not a girl. SpongeBob and Patrick then run out of the Krusty Krab.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*This episode aired in Germany before it aired in the United States.
*Mr. Krabs and Squidward wanted to ask her out, at the part where in Patricia was using a hose, if you watch carefully, suddenly a pair of shells appeared on her clothes.
*Squidward reads [[Showtime Weekly]] in this episode.
*There are no female characters in the episode.
*In Germany, this episode is called "Patricia," the name Patrick added to himself.
*The "get out of town!" guy also apears in the game version of [[Truth or Square]].
*This episode was briefly pulled from rotation for being what some people considered "transgender propaganda."

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: That's No Lady|Transcript for That's No Lady]]

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]
{{Season4}}

Episode Transcript: Truth or Square

2022-11-26T02:10:35Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{{Transcript|Truth or Square|Single Cell Anniversary|Pineapple Fever}}

==Characters==
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
**[[Pagey the Pirate|Pagey the Pirate]] (debut)
*[[Ricky Gervais (debut)|Ricky Gervais]] (narrator)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*Cosmo from ''The Fairly OddParents'' (cameo in-series on a poster)
*Wanda from ''The Fairly OddParents'' (cameo in-series on a poster)
*Aang from ''Avatar: The Last Airbender'' (in-series cameo on a poster)
*Bessie from ''The Mighty B!'' (in-series cameo on a poster)
*''Dora the Explorer'' (in-series cameo on a poster)
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Father SquarePants|Father SquarePants]]
*[[Mother SquarePants|Mother SquarePants]]
*[[Triumph the Insult Comic Dog]] (in-series debut in the extended version)
*Triumph's chihuahua friend (debut)
*People at Triumph's pool (debut)
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
**Dr. Krabs (debut)
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton]]
*[[Karen Plankton]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks]]
*[[Not SpongeBob]] (debut)
*[[Mrs. Puff]] (non-speaking)
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (non-speaking)
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Painty the Pirate]]
*[[Hans]]

==Transcript==
(the episode begins with a opening narration with things, mostly footage of Patchy the Pirate, shown surrounded by a border)

'''Ricky Gervais''': 10 years ago, an unknown pirate from Encino began a decade-long obsession with TV's most beloved and absorbent sponge. And today, a mere 10 years later obviously 10 years ago I said that he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as Burbank. To find Nicktoons animation studio and meet his idol face to face for the first time in 10 years it's 10 years ago. It's 10 years ago. Let's see what happens, yeah. (live-action part of the episode begins. We see posters of ''SpongeBob SquarePants'', Dora Marquez from ''Dora the Explorer'', Cosmo and Wanda from ''The Fairly OddParents'', Uniqua from ''The Backyardigans'', Diego from ''Go Diego Go'', Max and Ruby from ''Max & Ruby'', Kiki, Shout, Marina and Twist from ''The Fresh Beat Band'', Kai-lan from ''Ni-hao Kai-lan'', Skipper from ''The Penguins of Madagascar'', and Carly from ''iCarly''. Patchy gets out of the car)

'''Patchy the Pirate''': Oh. Bye, mom. Thanks for the lift. Hey kids. Isn't this exciting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' and I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth fan-iversary TV special! Come on. Ahoy.

'''Security Guard''': Sir, may I help you?

'''Patchy''': Yes. This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters this week.

'''Security Guard''': Uh, yes. SpongeBob is not here right now sir.

'''Patchy''': That's okay. I can wait. Oh, SpongeBob!

'''Security Guard''': Sir, please step away from the gate.

'''Patchy''': Aw, poopdeck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show.

'''Security Guard''': Uh-huh. Oh. You're here for the casting department.

'''Patchy''': Yeah.

'''Security Guard''': In that case, please step right inside, sir. (Patchy thrusts his arm and mouths the word, "yes." Patchy follows the security guard inside. Inside, Patchy and the security guard walk down a hallway where a cardboard cutout of SpongeBob and a model of SpongeBob made out of Lego bricks are seen. Patchy jumps up in the air and laughs. He returns to the ground)

'''Patchy''': Woo! Oh, hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Where's he? At lunch? At an important meeting?

'''Security Guard''': I'm not sure, sir.

'''Patchy''': Getting his boat waxed?

'''Security Guard''': This way, sir.

'''Patchy''': What's he really like?

'''Security Guard''': This way, sir.

'''Patchy''': Does he come in everyday?

'''Security Guard''': Go this way.

'''Patchy''': Does he dye his hair?

'''Security Guard''': Walk this way, sir.

'''Patchy''': Huh?

(the scene shifts to show a room. It has a couch, a TV, a poster for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, and an animation cel of SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab. The security guard opens the door. Patchy walks in)

'''Security Guard''': Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. (Patchy sits down on the couch) Can I get you anything, sir?

'''Patchy''': Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. (chuckles. The security guard puts his hand out and then back in with a shrimp cocktail. He gives it to Patchy) Ooh! Now, that's what I call service... (the security guard smiles) with a smile! (smiles. The security guard closes the door, and the SpongeBob part of the episode begins with the title card and opening credits. The episode proper begins showing the three houses of Conch Street at night. The scene transitions to morning. The scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom, where Gary's shell is shaking with a blanket on top of it. Next to him is an traditional alarm clock)

'''Gary''': (in his shell) Meow. (the alarm clock goes off) Meow. (Gary's head pops out of his shell) Meow. (a long line of alarm clocks go off, which leads from Gary, who is in the front of the bed to SpongeBob's foghorn alarm clock. It goes off and spits out more alarm clocks. SpongeBob wakes up. He gets out of bed and turns the alarm clocks off)

'''SpongeBob''': Good morning, Gary!

'''Gary''': (angrily) Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. (the shot widens and a thought bubble appears. It shows the Krusty Krab) The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab. (leans near Gary and shakes his head) Oh, oh, oh, I think not. (returns to his previous position) No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.

(the scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple, where SpongeBob's door open and a line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of an Easter Island Head house. The camera follows the alarm clocks to the door and then moves up. A voice is heard muttering)

'''Voice''': What the? (the scene returns to SpongeBob's room. He is yelling out of his window)

'''SpongeBob''': See you at the big event, Squidward! (gets hit with an alarm clock. This causes him to fly and land next to Gary. Gets up) Can you believe that it's been eleventy-seven years already?

'''Gary''': (snidely) Meow, meow, meow.

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Aw, I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab. (flashback begins. It shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob's parents are walking to it. The scene shifts to show SpongeBob's parents)

'''Harold SquarePants''': I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant.

'''Margaret SquarePants''': Oh. (zoom out to reveal that she is pregnant with SpongeBob) Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? (the scene moves to show the inside of Margaret's womb. SpongeBob swims off-screen. The scene returns to show Margaret. She is moved inside to the front of the cash register boat) Well, okay, then. (the scene returns to the womb and SpongeBob is next to Margaret's belly button which looks like a window. Margaret's voice is echoing) What would you like? (SpongeBob looks out Margaret's belly button and sees the Galley Grub)

'''SpongeBob''': Krabby Patty! (the scene changes to show Margaret and Harold sitting at a table eating Krabby Patties. In the womb, SpongeBob is eating the Krabby Patties through the umbilical cord) Yummy! (takes the cord, rips it out, and sucks on the cord. The flashback ends and SpongeBob is shown laying on the ground being held up by his elbows) Good times. (an alarm clock appears. SpongeBob jumps up and starts running in the air) Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready. (runs off-screen and Gary hisses at the alarm clock. The alarm clock "runs" away. The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a towel around his waist in the bathroom. Turns on the shower and takes the towel off. The scene shows SpongeBob showering)

'''Music:''' [[A Day That Couldn't Get Much Better]]
'''SpongeBob''': I never thought that I would have a chance like this.
What dreams exist as big as this one? If happiness are patties frying on the grill, I'll have my fill, upon each fresh bun.
Here's a day that couldn't get much better.
It is the greatest that's ever been.
It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feeling.
A miracle is something that you don't believe, you will receive, and then it happens.
This is what I have to call a miracle, my heart is full and toes are tapping.

Here's a day that couldn't get much better.
It is the greatest that's ever been.
It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feeling.
Sure I know it's gonna take a lot of work, but here's the perk, I think I must say.
When you're doing something that you really love, and so proud of, then work is like play.

Here's a day that couldn't get much better.
It is the greatest that's ever been.
It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feeling.

(SpongeBob melts through the ice cube. He falls into a soda. He gets sucked up by a straw, which is being sucked up by SpongeBob. SpongeBob then jumps away. The scene changes to black and then shows the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple. He opens the door and starts to jog to the Krusty Krab. A crash is heard off-screen. The scene moves to the origin of the crash. SpongeBob is laying down behind a line of fish)

'''Harold''': Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do. (camera reveals the line goes all of the way to the Krusty Krab. The scene returns to SpongeBob. He looks at his watch)

'''SpongeBob''': But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. (steps on people's heads to get to the Krusty Krab)

'''Mable-Monica''': Ah!

'''Isabelle Fish''': Ooh!

'''Sadie''': What the?

'''Frankie Billy''': Hey!

'''Fred''': Ah!

'''Tom''': Eh!

'''Shubie''': Uh!

'''SpongeBob''': Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. (more fish make annoyed noises. Once SpongeBob reaches the end, the scene changes to the interior of the Krusty Krab. The scene shows several fish waiting on the door. Squeezes through the cracked between the doors and the ground. Enters the Krusty Krab. Lands in the arms of Mr. Krabs) Reporting for duty, sir. (salutes him. He puts SpongeBob down in a seat next to Squidward)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Sit down, boy.

'''SpongeBob''': Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (walking past the table) Today's a big a day for the Krusty Krab. (Mr. Krabs ends up at a button) So I want yous to listen up. (pushes the button. It causes a shield to go around the Krusty Krab) It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula. (pulls a lever that looks like a handle on a table. It causes a panel to open. The table goes down the panel and is replaced by a hologram table. It turns on a hologram of the Krusty Krab)

'''Squidward''': Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?

'''Mr. Krabs''': No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.

'''Squidward''': You mean the front door and the back door? (Mr. Krabs pushes a button on the hologram table)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Those are just the ones on the surface. (the hologram expands to show the duct work) There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!

'''SpongeBob''': Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs. (eyes grow on SpongeBob, filling his holes)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward.

'''Squidward''': What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't make me have a flashback.

(a flashback begins. It shows Squidward sleeping at his station. Fred is on the other side of the Cash register. The scene changes to show SpongeBob opening the Krusty Krab broom closet to find Squidward sleeping. The scene changes to show a close shot of Frankie Billy about to eat a patty at the Krusty Krab. The shot widens to show Squidward sleeping on Frankie Billy's table. It also reveals that Frankie Billy is dining with Nancy. The scene changes to show a close shot of the sink in the Krusty Krab kitchen. Bubbles are coming out of the sink and Squidward's snoring is heard. The shot widens to show Squidward with his head in the sink. The scene changes to show SpongeBob on a Krusty Krab stall and reading a newspaper. Squidward's snores are heard. SpongeBob looks into the stall next to his and sees Squidward holding a newspaper and sleeping. The flashback ends)

'''Squidward''': All right, point taken. (Mr. Krabs turns off the hologram)

'''Mr. Krabs''': And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. (a dark figure is shown in the corner. It walks into the light. It is revealed to be Patrick. He has an angry look on his face. He smacks his fist into his palm)

'''Squidward''': (while Patrick is walking to them) You hired Patrick?

'''Mr. Krabs''': What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters.

'''Patrick''': (no longer having an angry face; saluting) Yes, sir. (surveys the area. Sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall) Who are you, and who are you working for?! (Mr. Krabs chuckles)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton doesn't stand a chance. (the scene changes to show the exterior of the Chum Bucket. It has a banner on it that reads "Celebrating 50 years of failure." The camera zooms in. As it does this, the doors open and an image of the dining area is shown and it pans into that. Cross-fade to a wide shot of the lab. Karen is shown in her computer form and Plankton is shown at his desk)

'''Plankton''': (as the camera is still panning in) It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, (cut to a medium shot of Plankton at his desk) I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! (cut to a closer shot of Plankton. He tears up) I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!

'''Karen''': (offscreen) Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. (onscreen) Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.

'''Plankton''': Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.

'''Karen''': Oh, right, the launchings. (her face is replaced by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it) I've got them all on my hard drive. (on Karen's monitor, we see Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Fore! (hits Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket)

'''Plankton''': Ow!

(the scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the curling stone on the ice.SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab)

'''Mr. Krabs''': I'm tired today, Plankton. (drops Plankton) You're just gonna have to launch yourself. (walks back inside. Plankton tears up. He walks to the Chum Bucket and hits his head on the door)

'''Plankton''': Splat. (begins to cry. Karen's laughing is heard. The scene pans out to show the scene on Karen's monitor. The scene shifts to not-recording Plankton) Karen?! (the footage is removed and replaced with Karen)

'''Karen''': I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh. (Plankton jumps off his desk)

'''Plankton''': It's just no use!

'''Karen''': Today's the perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.

'''Plankton''': You really think so?

'''Karen''': Of course, I do. Now who's my big man?

'''Plankton''': Oh, Karen.

'''Karen''': Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man?

'''Plankton''': I am.

'''Karen''': That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.

'''Plankton''': (saluting Karen) Yes, ma'am! (bubble-wipe to show fish outside of the Krusty Krab)

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (the scene changes to show a close up shot of the numbers on the Galley Grub menu)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. (claw, holding a pencil, appears and he starts adding decimal points after the first zero in the prices and adding an extra zero at the end of the prices as he talks) Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. (chuckles. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on a ladder next to the Galley Grub) Oh, number zero, how I love you so. (Squidward walks into frame and Mr. Krabs starts to walk down the ladder) SpongeBob! (the scene shifts to show a similar scene as before, but with the frame moved down. SpongeBob runs into the frame)

'''SpongeBob''': Yes, sir? (Mr. Krabs finishes climbing down the ladder)

'''Mr. Krabs''': I'm putting you in charge of decorations. (scribbles something on his clipboard)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, but Mr. Krabs.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes, boy?

'''SpongeBob''': I thought you said that I would be in charge of decorations.

'''Mr. Krabs''': What? But you are.

'''SpongeBob''': I am? (flings his arms in the air) Yay! (runs around with his arms in the air) Yeah! Yeah!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway.

'''Squidward''': It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out? (the scene shows SpongeBob next to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs takes out two quarters)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Here's your budget, boy. (gives SpongeBob the quarters) Decorate it any way you want.

'''SpongeBob''': Wow! Fifty cents!

'''Squidward''': You’re letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?

'''Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs''': Hmm...

(a flashback begins. It shows the interior of the Krusty Krab with a western theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is the bone of a cow head. The floor looks like a desert. It has rocks and cacti on it. The lights have been replaced by a western-style chandelier. The metal wall has been replaced with a gray wood one. The doors have been replaced by saloon doors. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has wagon wheel next to it. The order window looks like an old style window with red shutters. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing a cowboy hat and holding a tray of food)

'''Cowboy SpongeBob''': Yee-haw! (laughs)

(the scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a 1970s theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is a lava lamp. The floor is a rug. The window has green wallpaper with a pattern on it. The metal wall has orange and red striped wall paper on it. The lights have been replaced by a disco ball. The boxes that are in the rafters have been pained with a blue pattern. The doors have been replaced by bead entrances. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has carpet material around it. The order window has been painted to have a blue and red pattern. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing an Afro wig and holding a tray of food)

'''Disco-Man SpongeBob''': You come here often? (laughs)

(the scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a space theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. They are wearing space helmets. The tables have been replaced and the barrels have been replaced with moon craters which goes along with the moon floor. The window has space wallpaper on it. The lights have been replaced by images of Mars, a moon, and Saturn. The doors have been replaced by doors that have two sides and jagged edges and open up, instead of go outward. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The order boat looks similar to a moon rover. The metal wall has stars and a meteor. The order window looks similar to the doors. Squidward is wearing a space helmet. The order window opens and things and Squidward go through it. The scene then shows Squidward in space. He is screaming. He passes SpongeBob who is wearing his water helmet. He is cooking on his grill. He laughs. The flashback ends)

'''Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs''': Hmm... (Mr. Krabs turns to Squidward)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, you want want to do it, then?

'''Squidward''': No.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Then shut your porthole.

'''Squidward''': Battening down the word hatches, sir.

(Squidward and Mr. Krabs walk away. SpongeBob looks at the two quarters. He smiles. He flies up into the air. The scene changes to show the inside of the bathroom. SpongeBob prances into the bathroom. He goes into a stall, takes out a pair of tongs and grabs the end of a pink toilet paper roll. The scene changes to the exterior of the bathroom. Squidward is walking by. SpongeBob runs out of the bathroom holding on to the tongs which are holding on to the toilet paper. Squidward stops. SpongeBob takes a piece of the toilet paper, twirls it around, and throws it up and swings on it. He swings around a pole, making the toilet paper look like a swirl on the pole. He lands on a table. The table spins around and ends up with bows on it. SpongeBob jumps in the air and lands between Patrick and Squidward. He twists the toilet paper around Patrick making him look muscular with a bow belt. Patrick flexes. SpongeBob twirls the toilet paper in the air and twists it around Squidward's head. He ends up with two bows on his head, which are connected to his mouth)

'''Squidward''': What? What are you...? (SpongeBob pulls on one of the strings that is attached to the bow. It makes Squidward smile)

'''SpongeBob''': There we go.

(He runs off twirling the toilet paper. Runs across the top and bottom of the main windows, giving them bows. Twirls the toilet paper and dances. The scene changes to show SpongeBob in the kitchen. He is stepping on a ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle. The scene shifts to show the back of SpongeBob. Above him, there is a banner that is written in ketchup and mustard. It reads "Eleventy-Seventh Anniversary." The scene changes to show SpongeBob squeezing a mustard bottle. He is then show squeezing a mustard bottle. Part of either the bathroom or kitchen door is shown. It shows the mustard and the ketchup crossing over to look similar to a strand of DNA. The scene changes to show mustard going on a wall in a wave pattern. The scene changes to show a table. SpongeBob puts a design on the table. SpongeBob is then shown tip-toeing sideways while holding a bottle of mustard and ketchup. He then spins it around. The scene changes to show a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob puts a hose in the Krabby Patty. SpongeBob is then shown pushing a pressure handle. It inflates the Krabby Patty. The scene then shows Krabby Patties that are attached to string. They are on the ceiling. The last patty floats up. The scene pans out to show the decorated Krusty Krab. The banner is now in the dining area and the order boat has bows on it. The kitchen door is shown. He walks out. SpongeBob floats down to him on a Krabby Patty balloon. SpongeBob releases it and it floats away.] Your change, sir. (gives Mr. Krabs the 2 quarters)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Good work, boy. What, that's it? (SpongeBob walks away. Mr. Krabs takes out his clipboard) Decorations, check. Security? (Patrick is shown standing outside the bathroom. Squidward leaves the bathroom. Patrick sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall. The scene returns to Mr. Krabs) Check. (the scene changes to show the exterior of the Krusty Krab. The crowd is chanting)

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (the scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' arm. He has a watch with money on it. The hand moves) We want Krabby Patties!

'''Mr. Krabs''': (as the crowd is still chanting "We want Krabby Patties!") Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. (SpongeBob and Squidward are shown sitting at a table. Squidward has his head down. By this point, the crowd has stopped)

'''Squidward''': Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': Every word, Squidward, every word.

'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties! (SpongeBob is shown standing up)

'''SpongeBob''': Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one last decoration! (the scene changes to show the Kitchen, focused on the door. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick walk to the freezer. SpongeBob pulls a bar that is holding the door shut) I present to you... (tries to open the freezer door, but it is difficult; straining] I present to you... (yells and pulls the handle off. It hits Squidward in the face. He falls over and twitches his leg. The scene changes to show a white cloud. It fades away and the four are shown looking into the freezer. Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp) ... my ode to the Krabby Patty... (the scene shows a giant ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty on a pedestal) ...made entirely out of ice.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yessh, boy. (the four walk into the freezer. The scene pans out to show how big the sculpture is) This thing's enormous.

'''Squidward''': (shivering) And cold. (the scene shows Mr. Krabs' claw on the backside of the sculpture)

'''Mr. Krabs''': All right, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting. (the scene shows Mr. Krabs, followed by Squidward and Patrick on the backside of the sculpture and SpongeBob on its front side)

'''SpongeBob''': Ready? Set? (pulls the sculpture while the other three push it. It does not move. Instead, SpongeBob goes flying. out the freezer. Bounces off the kitchen's front wall and enters the freezer again. The door closes after him. SpongeBob hits the sculpture's pedestal and slides to the floor. The other three stare at the freezer door. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick scream) Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream. (Squidward and Mr. Krabs scream and run to the freezer door. When they do so, they trample SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward and Mr. Krabs start pounding on the door)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' The door! (the exterior of the freezer is shown. The door is extruding as the two pound on it. Back inside, Patrick and SpongeBob are on the floor)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, no. Patrick, stand up! (the two stand up) We're locked in! (pulls Patrick close) This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary. (the scene changes to show the crowd outside)

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want... (the scene returns to the exterior of freezer where Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still screaming and pounding on the door)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Somebody... (the scene returns to the interior of the freezer)

'''Mr. Krabs and Squidward''': Anybody, I don't care who! (the two stop pounding on the door)

'''SpongeBob''': How do we get out?!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Everybody calm down. I spent a lifetime working in this restaurant, and I know there's only one way out of here.

'''Patrick''': A high school diploma?

'''Mr. Krabs''': No, (camera pans up to an air duct on the ceiling. It is right above the Krabby Patty Sculpture) the air duct. (a ladder falls on the side of the sculpture. Mr. Krabs walks up the ladder, goes to the air duct and takes off the cover. The scene changes to show the interior of an air duct. Mr. Krabs pops his head in) This way boys.

[SpongeBob follows him. Squidward pops his head into the duct. Patrick pops his head in too, but when he does, his head pushes Squidward up to the top of the duct. The scene shows the center of the duct system with ducts in every direction) All we gotta to do is head through this duct.

'''Squidward''': Which one? There must be 20 ways to go.

'''SpongeBob''': Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. (turns around and grunts. His holes mash together and makes the map)

'''Mr. Krabs''': (while SpongeBob is still grunting) Uh, hmm, uh...

'''SpongeBob''': (stressed) Hurry up, guys, this kind of hurts.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps, then head towards that kidney-bean shaped puddle of gravy.

'''Squidward''': That's not the map, you old barnacle. Those are... (cut to SpongeBob's back, showing the three "stumps" and the "pile of gravy") ...three moles and a birthmark.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh. All right, (Mr. Krabs turns around and points to one of the vents) then, let's try this one.

(the scene changes to an area that shows the exterior of several vents. A bulge in the closest vent appears. The screaming of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward is heard)

'''Squidward''': (inside the vent) It's this way.

(the bulge continues until it stops. The scream is heard again, but it is heard three times, each with an additional bulge to the vent)

'''Patrick''': Here it is.

(the bulge moves until it finds a vertical pipe, then falls quickly. The scene changes to show the interior of the vent. Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick fall past the scene, screaming. The scene changes to show the exterior of the pipes, except the one that the four are in is not the exterior. The four go through a few curves until they land in a large vent room. They way that they land is, Mr. Krabs on the right, then SpongeBob on top of Squidward, and Patrick lying on his belly on the left. Next to Mr. Krabs there is a yellow wrapper that says "Krabby Patty" in blue and has a Krabby Patty)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, what's this? (picks it up and the scene zooms in to show the wrapper clearly) It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper. (the scene returns to the one before) Aah, that takes me back to the good old days.

(the scene returns to the wrapper and fades to show a black and white scene. The animation is in the style of 1950s cartoons. The scene shows baby SpongeBob in front of a television)

'''TV Narrator (1950s)''': And now, a word from our sponsor. (SpongeBob leans towards the TV and screams in happiness. The scene shifts to the TV)

'''Female Singers''': (as the letters appear) K-R-A-B-B-Y (the letters go up and down. The letters in the next part are not
shown) P-A-T-T-Y. (a Krabby Patty falls on top of the letters)

'''Male Singers''': Bud dum dum dum dum. (a bell rings]

'''Female Singers''': Krabby Patty, (the scene widens to show the Krabby Patty on a plate, which is being held by a young Mr.
Krabs) give 'em a try.

(the scene changes to show SpongeBob's face)

'''Mr. Krabs''': (offscreen) Come on down and...

'''Mr. Krabs and the Female Singers''': ...buy, buy, buy. (the scene changes to show a Krabby Patty)

'''Female Singers''': Not just one or... (the patty becomes smaller and a second patty appears) two or... (the two patties
become small and a third patty appears) three, but... (the Krabby Patties spin left, getting smaller, and three more patties
join them) enough for the whole, (6 fish appear next to each patty) family.

(the scene changes to show a container of fries with "K K" on it, a Krabby Patty, and a soda container with "K K" on it)

'''TV Narrator (1950s)''': Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a youthful, positive attitude.

(the scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a doctor's office, wearing a doctor outfit)

'''Dr. Krabs''': (as the camera zooms in) I'm a doctor... as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. (the zooming stops) So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get yourself a Krabby Patty. (the scene changes to show a sack with "K K" on it) Or go out and buy a Sackful of Krabbies. (the scene changes to show a crate with "K K" on it. The crate is full of Krabby Patties) Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. (the scene returns to "Dr. Krabs." Lifts up a Krabby Patty) For your health.

(the scene changes to show SpongeBob. The scene changes to show "K")

'''Female Singers''': (as each letter goes on the screen individually) K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y. (the scene changes to show the
soda, Krabby Patty, and fries from earlier) Krabby Patty.

(the scene changes to show SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab. The scene changes to show the order boat and an octopus that might be Squidward. He presses a button on the cash register and it opens. Six Krabby Patties appear. The scene changes to show a counter. SpongeBob pops his head above the counter. Margaret and Harold SquarePants run into the scene. The octopus comes into the scene with a plate of three Krabby Patties. SpongeBob starts grabbing for them. The octopus gives SpongeBob a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob eats the Patty and then hearts form in his eyes. The hearts get bigger and cover the screen. There is an old TV turning off and the flashback ends. Mr. Krabs sighs)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Back then, Krabby Patties only cost a dime. (gets angry and crumples up the wrapper) It was a dark and... (throws the wrapper on the floor) evil time. (eyes are shown with a dime in each, where his pupils should be. Starts sweating) I still have nightmares.

'''Squidward''': (sobbing) We'll never get out of here.

'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Squidward. We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together.

(the scene changes to show Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick in a short vent. They are all close together. They are crawling along. The scene then shows a close shot of Patrick and Squidward. Patrick does some shallow breathing. Squidward gets angry. Squidward turns his head)

'''Squidward''': Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck. (Patrick holds his breath. He strains more and more until he cannot take it anymore. He breaths and spit gets all over Squidward's face. The group stops. The scene shifts to show a medium shot of the group)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I think... (points ahead) ...I see the exit.

(the scene changes to show a red metal room. A circular door is shown. It starts turning. Mr. Krabs enters the room. A wider shot of the room is shown. It shows 11 TVs, a chair, and a control panel. One of the screens shows Conch Street. One of the screens shows the exterior of Patrick's rock. One of the screens shows the exterior of Mr. Krabs' anchor. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Chum Bucket. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. One of the screens shows the exterior of Sandy's Treedome. One of the screens shows part of a bathroom. One of the screens shows part of downtown Bikini Bottom. One of the screens shows a lady screaming inside of the Barg'N-Mart. One of the screens shows Mr. Krabs' office. One of the screens shows the Krusty Krab kitchen)

'''Mr.Krabs''': Ah, barnacles. It's just the Surveillance Room. (walks inside. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward enter)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh. My house is on TV.

'''Squidward''': All of our houses are on TV.

(Mr. Krabs backs away until he is out of frame. A TV is shown. It shows SpongeBob's bedroom. Gary is jumping on SpongeBob's bed)

'''Gary''': Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': (while Gary meows) Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instant.

'''Patrick''': (pointing to another TV) Hey, there's my house.

(the screen shows the interior of Patrick's house. In it, there is a couch and a TV that has a Realistic Fish Head on it. The scene returns to the three young boys.)

'''Squidward''': You left your TV on.

'''Patrick''': Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows.

'''SpongeBob''': (pointing to a TV) Look, it's Sandy!

(the scene shows a TV that shows Sandy brushing her teeth in her bathroom)

'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, (turns his head around) why do you have cameras watching us?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, uh... uh... uh... (shrugs) I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal.

'''SpongeBob''': Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important.

'''Patrick''': (pointing to a screen) Hey, who are those guys? (the scene shows the back of the group looking at the screen of themselves. Mr. Krabs walks back into frame)

'''SpongeBob''': I think it's us, Patrick. (the four turn around) But, who are they?

(the screen shows a side view of the room. The four are shown on one side of the room and a cameraman and boom microphone operator are shown on the other. The boom microphone operator drops the boom microphone. He then lifts the cameraman up a vent that is located above them. The cameraman then lifts up the boom microphone operator. They leave. The scene changes to show SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in front of the TVs. The Krusty Krab TV that shows the exterior shows the crowd of fish outside)

'''Crowd''': (on TV) We want Krabby Patties! (Mr. Krabs gasps)

'''Mr.Krabs''': (while the crowd chants "We want Krabby Patties!") Me customers are getting antsy.

(the scene shows the outside of the Krusty Krab)

'''Crowd''': ...Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (a line is shown. The camera then pans down to show that Plankton is between the fishes' legs) Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (Plankton sneaks past the line) We want Krabby Patties!

(Plankton makes it to an exterior air vent. He squeezes in. He then sneaks inside an air vent. He sneaks into a hole and falls in. He screams. He hits parts of vents. The scene changes to show another vent)

'''Mr. Krabs''': We're getting warm. I can feel it.

'''SpongeBob''': That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs. (the scene shows a fork in the vents. The scene returns to the four)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hmm, a crossroads. (points to the right) I'll go this way, and SpongeBob, (points to the left) you lead them down that way. (enters the right path)

'''SpongeBob''': Lead them? I can finally... (takes off his Krusty Krab hat and takes out a a Tyrolean hat and puts it on) ...use my leader hat... (the scene shows SpongeBob wearing sock garters) ...and my lederhosen.

'''Patrick''': Nice.

'''Squidward''': Those are just sock garters, you idiot.

'''SpongeBob''': Follow me! (the three start moving)

'''Squidward''': This is not happening. It's just not happening.

(Mr. Krabs is shown going down the right path. The other three are shown going down the left path. Their path ends with a dead end. They try to move forward, but start struggling)

'''SpongeBob''': Guys, its a dead end. (the vent breaks and the three start screaming. They fall. The scene changes to show Plankton falling through the pipes. He falls through another vent grate into a vent)

'''Plankton''': Thank Neptune that's over. (SpongeBob is heard screaming offscreen. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward fall through the top of the vent and land on Plankton. Squidward and Patrick lift their heads up. Plankton manages to get out from under the three. He is dizzy. He recovers from being dizzy) SpongeBob! Aggh! (Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob are shown. They are all sitting up. SpongeBob puts his work hat back on) Why must you always ruin my plans?

'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, (lifts Plankton up) you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.

Plankton: Uh, I didn't, uh... Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?

'''SpongeBob''': You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.

'''Plankton''': Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.

'''SpongeBob''': Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office. (a flashback begins. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in Mr. Krabs' office)

'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you. (SpongeBob screams and gasps)

'''SpongeBob''': You mean? (Mr. Krabs' lips are shown)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. (puts his arm around SpongeBob and they start walking) We need to go where no one will ever hear us. (they walk out of the Krusty Krab. They are shown leaving Bikini Bottom. They are shown going through a jungle. They are wearing safari explorer clothing. They are shown going a desert. They are wearing desert clothing. They are shown on the seas in a storm. They are wearing rain coats and hats. They are shown crossing a bridge in the mountains. They are shown climbing up a mountain. They are wearing winter clothing. They are shown walking up to flat land. They are tired and dirty) Ugh. We finally made it. (pushes SpongeBob ahead quickly until they reach the back of the Krusty Krab. Opens the door) Quick, into me office before anyone sees us. (the door closes. The flashback ends. Plankton is shown in SpongeBob's hand)

'''Plankton''': What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?

'''SpongeBob''': We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.

'''Plankton''': Yes? Go on. (the flashback resumes. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in the Krusty Krab. They are cleaned up)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul.

'''Plankton''': Wait! (the scene expands and shows Mr. Krabs in a thought bubble connected to SpongeBob. Plankton has a pen) Wait! Hold on!

'''Mr. Krabs''': (holding on to the edge of the bubble) What's that?

'''Plankton''': My pen is out of ink. (Plankton tries to get the pen to work. Eventually, it works) Okay, okay, go ahead.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton. (grabs Plankton) You'll never have get me formula. (squishes Plankton up like a ball) Not even in a flashback. (laughs and throws Plankton through another grate)

(Plankton falls through the pipes again. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. Mr. Krabs has joined the group)

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening- (Squidward realizes something and smiles)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward, what's with the creepy smile?

'''Squidward''': I was just... (chuckles) ...remembering the world before SpongeBob. (laughs)

(a flashback begins. Squidward is shown sleeping in his bed. He wakes up, takes a deep breath, yawns, and stretches out his arm tentacles. He jumps out of bed. He opens the window. He takes out a watering can and waters a plot of land that is where SpongeBob's house should be. Flowers with faces pop out of the ground)

'''Flowers''': Morning, Squidward.

(Squidward is shown in his doorway. There is a rainbow above his house and scallops are floating around the rainbow. Squidward sniffs and then sighs contently. He skips out of his house. He then twirls. Presents fall around him. One part opens like a door and Squidward rides his recumbent bicycle. He rides until he hits a rock. He flies out of the bicycle. His helmet also falls off revealing Squidward's Krusty Krab hat. He hits the door to the Krusty Krab. The door opens. He walks to his station while getting his balance back. He passes a line of customers. He listens into the Kitchen and then looks in. A brown fish is shown)

'''Squidward''': Good morning, Not SpongeBob. (lifts up Not SpongeBob and kisses him on the forehead. Runs to the front of his station. Puts his arm tentacles on the top of the cash register and sighs. SpongeBob's laughing is heard, which makes Squidward cringe. The scene changes to show the group in modern day. SpongeBob is laughing. SpongeBob grabs Squidward's head and pulls it next to his)

'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day? (another flashback begins. SpongeBob is shown with a fish named Patty Rechid. SpongeBob has his hand on his "chin." A shoe house is shown) Uh-uh. (a castle in a fishbowl is shown) Nah. (a toilet house is shown) Ew.

(the scene moves upwards to the surface of the water. A boat is shown. The boat turns. The side of the boat is shown. A pineapple falls off the boat. It falls into the water. Patrick and Squidward's houses are shown next to a garden, where SpongeBob house should be. Squidward leaves his house and goes over to the garden. He takes a deep breath, sighs, and starts working. SpongeBob and Patty walk by. They are sad)

'''Patty Rechid''': Okay, well, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom. (they look up to see the pineapple. Squidward stops working)

'''Squidward''': My secret garden is finally done. (the pineapple falls on Squidward. He cuts out a hole so that he can leave. It is in the same place where SpongeBob's door should be. Squidward falls down)

'''Patty Rechid''': Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. (the pineapple house is shown fully formed)

'''SpongeBob''': It's beautiful. (gives Patty a large bag of money) I'll take it. (walks forward. Patty is happy. Squidward gets up) Howdy, neighbor! (stops walking) I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. [He hugs Squidward.] And we're going to be bestest friends. (Patrick walks into the scene) Hey, Patrick. Guess who just moved in right next door?

'''Patrick''': Neighbor hug! (hugs Squidward and SpongeBob. Squidward groans. The flashback ends to show the group, except Mr. Krabs, hugging. They are in a different part of the vent than before)

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want... (Mr. Krabs turns his head and gasps) Krabby Patties!

'''Mr. Krabs''': What's the sound? (looks through a hole in the ventilation wall. The scene shows a hole in the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs' eye behind it. Gasps) Customers! (the scene widens to show a large crowd of fish outside the Krusty Krab)

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money!

'''Harold''': What do we want?

'''Crowd''': Krabby Patties!

'''Harold''': Why do want them?

'''Crowd''': To spend money! (the scene returns to the vents. Mr. Krabs' pocket is bulging out)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh no. All that loose change out there... (takes out his wallet) is driving me wallet mad with money lost. (wallet barks and then pants) Poor little guy's starving. (puts his wallet through the hole) There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money boy. Towards the money! (the wallet falls in front of the Krusty Krab doors. Dave walks by)

'''Dave''': Hey, a wallet! (picks it up and opens it) And there's 50 bucks in it. All right! (walks away, holding it in the air. The scene returns to the vents)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey! Oh no! (starts crying) What am I going to do? (stops crying) We gotta get out of here. Now!

'''SpongeBob''': Oh. If only Sandy were here. She could help us.

'''Patrick''': Oh! Hey, maybe we can use this. (goes into his pants and takes out a walkie talkie) I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way outta here. Shh! Everybody quiet! (shouting) Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come. (pats the walkie talkie)

'''Squidward''': Oh, give me that. (takes the walkie talkie. Tunes it) Sandy, come in, Sandy.

'''Sandy''': (on the walkie talkie) Sandy Cheeks here. (the scene changes to show the exterior of the Treedome) So it was... (the scene changes to show Sandy) ...you who stole my other radio, Squidward! (the scene returns to the vents)

'''Squidward''': What? No. I'm just-- I... (Patrick screams)

'''Patrick''': Sandy's trapped in that box! (grabs the walkie talkie and throws it on the ground, breaking it) Sandy? (Squidward growls. SpongeBob sighs)

'''SpongeBob''': Remember the day Sandy and I got married? (the other three gasp)

'''Mr. Krabs''': What?!

'''Squidward''': No!

'''Patrick''': I'm freaking out!

'''SpongeBob''': Mm-hmm...

(a flashback starts. Mrs. Puff is shown playing the organ. Sandy is shown in a wedding dress. She starts to walk down the aisle. The scene changes to show SpongeBob at the end of the aisle with a wedding officiant. Patrick is near SpongeBob. One each side of the aisle there is a crowd of people, including Mr. Krabs and his daughter, Pearl. Sandy finishes walking down the aisle)

'''Wedding Officiant''': Friends, we have gathered here today to join these two hearts (the crowd is shown) in the bonds of love. (Plankton is shown. He looks up. The scene widens to shown Karen in her mobile form. She looks at Plankton. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Sandy and the wedding officiant) SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?

'''SpongeBob''': I do.

'''Wedding Officiant''': And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband?

'''Sandy''': And how!

(the wedding officiant walks away backwards. SpongeBob sprays breath spray into his mouth. He straightens his bow tie. SpongeBob and Sandy lean in and SpongeBob kisses Sandy's helmet. SpongeBob and Sandy look at the crowd. A light breaks and falls down, nearly hitting SpongeBob and Sandy. The scene shows the crowd. They are all angry)

'''Frank (red shirt)''': Boo! You stink!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Worst play I've ever seen. (the scene changes to shows part of the exterior of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads "Tonight" and below that "The Marriage of SpongeBob" and below that there is an image of SpongeBob's head with a bow tie. The audience starts to leave) And a total rip-off!

'''Fish''': What has happened to the theater? (the scene then shows a wide shot of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads "Tonight Only The Marriage of SpongeBob")

'''Fish #2''': Lousy costumes.

(the scene returns to the interior. SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and the wedding officiant remain)

'''Wedding Officiant''': I didn't know this was a play.

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!

(the scene shows SpongeBob in the vent)

'''SpongeBob''': And we didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could have been the greatest party ever!

'''Patrick''': Hmm. You guys ready to give up?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes.

'''Squidward''': Yes.

'''Patrick''': And I'll just write my... myself down here for... for giving up too. Right, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick! I don't wanna give up.

'''Patrick''': Ooh, I know. Uh, let's just say are tearful farewells and solemn last words.

'''Mr. Krabs''': I didn't make any money. (sobs)

'''Squidward''': I never made anyone sick with envy. (sobs as well)

'''Patrick''': I didn't get to sleep in... (sobs too) ...this morning!

'''SpongeBob''': Guys, we can't give up now! We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way.

'''Patrick''': Through the freezer?

'''SpongeBob''': No, by using our heads.

'''Mr. Krabs''': To concoct an elaborate escape plan? (SpongeBob gasps)

'''SpongeBob''': No! (snaps his fingers) As a battering ram. (takes some ventilation and puts it around Mr. Krabs. Tips Mr. Krabs over. Does the same thing with the other two. Puts them together to make a battering ram. Lifts them up) Hup. (charges at the door. The exterior of the pipe is shown. It is in the dining area)

'''Patrick''': Owie!

'''Squidward''': Ow!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Ow! (SpongeBob rams again)

'''Patrick''': Owie!

'''Squidward''': Ow!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Ow! (SpongeBob rams again)

'''Patrick''': Owie!

'''Squidward''': Ow!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Ow!

'''SpongeBob''': Okay. This is the one. Feel very good about this. Okay. Ready? (SpongeBob rams again and they scream as they all fall out)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh boy, we made it out! (jumps in the air) Woo-hoo! (runs out of frame) Money! Money! Money! Money! (opens one of the doors) Come on in folks. (the scene shows that no one is at the Krusty Krab) No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money! And i- (gasps) Where are all me customers? (walks outside) They left...? With all their money?! (wails. SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick walk to the door. Squidward joins Mr. Krabs outside)

'''Squidward''': We went through all that for nothing?! (SpongeBob and Patrick join Mr. Krabs and Squidward outside)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, it was not for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends. (hugs Squidward) You, Squidward. (points to Patrick) And you, Patrick.

'''Patrick''': What now? (SpongeBob runs over to Mr. Krabs, who is still crying)

'''SpongeBob''': And let's not forget the man who made it all possible. Mr. Krabs. What could be better?

'''Mr. Krabs''': (sobs slowly before stopping) Money?

'''SpongeBob''': Oh!

'''Squidward''': Oh, no. He's not going to sing.

'''SpongeBob''': Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. Your Krabby Patties from the grill. (walks
forward) The smell of grease gives me a thrill. (walks to the Krusty Krab sign) Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh,
how I love you, Krusty Krab. (the scene with Mr. Krabs changing the prices from earlier is shown) With prices high... (the
scene changes to show a Krabby Patty under a magnifying glass. The magnifying glass is removed and it is shown in SpongeBob's
hand. It is as small as his fingers) ...and your portions small. (the scene changes to show SpongeBob next to a mustard stain
on a Krusty Krab wall. He licks it) The stains of mustard on the wall. (the scene returns to SpongeBob, who is outside. The
scene shows an angle that has the Krusty Krab sign be close in the shot and SpongeBob further away) Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty
Krab. Oh, how I love you, (starts to bow) Krusty Krab. (a bus stop is shown. Nat, Dale, Frankie Billy, and an anchovy are
shown. They hear the song and walk to the Krusty Krab. Harold and Thaddeus are shown at the scene of an accident between their
two boats. They are arguing with each other) Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. (they stop disliking each other and walk to the
Krusty Krab) Oh, how I love ya, (Police Officer John is chasing a robber near the First Nautical Bank) Krusty Krab.
(Officer John catches the robber) Oh Krusty Krab, (they hear the singing and stop) oh... (they start to become friends and skip
to the Krusty Krab) Krusty Krab. (the scene changes to show Nancy at her house with Timmy who is crying and won't eat the food
she is trying to feed him) Oh, how I... (she hears the song and leaves. Blue Fred walks in as Timmy knocks over the bowl) love
you, Krusty Krab.

(SpongeBob hums as more fish approach the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs sobs a bit)

'''Squidward''':Mr. Krabs, look.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Me customers? They're coming back?! SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing 'em back! (laughs. The customers join in on the humming)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand, and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me, people?!

'''Crowd''': Yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': I said, are you with me, people?!

'''Crowd''': Yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties! (inside the Krusty Krab, Plankton opens the kitchen door)

'''Plankton''': There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won! (runs off screen and comes back with the secret formula) The Krabby formula is mine. (runs with it) It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it! (stops) Oh no. (SpongeBob, followed by the customers, runs in) No! (gets kicked, causing him to fly away. Screams. Hits a table, then the wall, then the cash register boat, then one of the pillars, and rolls until Dale kicks him, causing him to fly up and hit a pillar. Another customer kicks him into the pillar. Nancy kicks him into the pillar. Another customer kicks him into the pillar. Starts rolling) Oh, nuts. (the scene shows Martha, Frankie Billy, and Bill at a table. Plankton rolls into the scene)

'''SpongeBob''': (while walking with a plate of Krabby Patties) Did somebody order a Krabby...? (starts slipping on the bottle) Whoa! (screams. Tries to keep his balance as he rolls off frame and all around the Krusty Krab until he reaches the table again) Look out. Oh. Oh, coming through. Whoa. Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (regains his balance, the bottle goes rolling, and the plate lands on the table with the patties intact)

'''Martha, Frankie Billy, and Bill''': Hooray!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Ah, 'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart. (the bottle rolls into the scene. Gasps) Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it... (picks it up) ...doin' out here? Whoa-ho! Shoulda known! Plankton.

'''Plankton''': Hey Krabs. uh, happy eleventy-seventh?
(Mr. Krabs peels Plankton off the bottle)

'''Mr. Krabs''': It's launchin' time.

'''Plankton''': Please, Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, all right. Since I'm such in a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time. (stretches Plankton. Plankton screams. Blows Plankton up like a balloon. Ties a string on him) There. (lets go of Plankton. He floats) Happy landings, Plankton!

'''Plankton''': You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here! (starts laughing evilly three times) Wait. Hey! (the scene returns to Mr. Krabs)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Stay away from the high-tension wires! (Dave walks by) Allow me to open the door for a valued customer.

'''Dave''': Gee, thanks, mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with 50 bucks in it.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I just lost one earlier today with 50 bu... Hey! Wait a minute! Come back with me wallet, ya thieving bilge rat!

(SpongeBob is shown flipping patties)

'''SpongeBob''': Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab. (continues to work. The Krusty Krab is shown with cars in the parking lot. SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show a scene from earlier where Patchy is shot out of the whale is shown with the border from the beginning of the episode, but the scene with Patchy flying in the air is slowed down)

'''Ricky Gervais''': Wow, Patchy sure made a mess of things, didn't he? He's not much of a pirate either, really, come to think of it. (a cannon being fired is shown) That's the problem. (a drawing of Blackbeard is shown) Not like Blackbeard. Whoa, now there was a pirate. (footage of a Jolly Roger is shown) Now Blackbeard... (footage of a ship shooting another ship is shown) ...would have been able to get the real A-listers... (footage of pirates fighting is shown) ...on his TV special. (a different piece of footage of pirates fighting is shown) Yeah, your Bruce Willises and your Gwyneth Paltrows... (footage of a sailor that looks like Popeye is shown) ...and your Ricky Gervaises. (footage of a monkey dressed like a sailor with giant shoes holding on to a tilted boat is shown) Let's not forget him. He's...brilliant. (a painting of a shanghaiing is shown) He wouldn't even have to shanghai them. (footage of a man on a rope is shown) They would have... (an image of a pirate and footage of a Jolly Roger are shown) ...shown up on set out of respect. (an image of a pirate captain about to hit another pirate with a bucket is shown) And fear. (footage of a ship shooting is shown) Back then, pirates were serious business. (footage of a pirate balloon in a parade is shown) Patchy's kinda... (footage of a sailor dancing around is shown) ...giving pirates a bad name, really, (footage of a kid dressed like a pirate is shown) if I'm being brutally honest. (footage of a kid picking up gummy bears and putting them in his shirt pocket is shown) Oh well, thanks for watching, kiddies. And we'll see you at the 20th anniversary. (footage of a person flipping over an hour glass is shown) That's 10 years from now. Starting now. (the footage fades to black, along with the whole screen)

'''Squidward''': (over the closing credits) Beautiful dreamer,
Out on the sea,
Mermaids are chanting,
The wild Lorelei;

Over the streamlet,
Vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade,
At the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer,
Beam on my heart.
E'en as the morn,
On the streamlet and sea;

Then will all clouds,
Of sorrow depart,
Beautiful dreamer,
Wake unto me!

La-da-dee, La-da-dum,
La-da-dee, La-da-dee!
Tempo! Tempo!

{{Timeline}}
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: The Sponge Who Could Fly

2022-11-26T02:02:43Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Plankton's Army|Plankton's Army]]
|[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Meets the Strangler|SpongeBob Meets the Strangler]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode)|The Sponge Who Could Fly]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Grandpa SquarePants]] (debut)
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]] (debut)
*[[Fred]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Nancy Suzy Fish|Nancy]]
*[[Mrs. Johnson]]
*Parents with 3 babies
*[[Sandy Cheeks]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)

==Dialogue==
(first scene opens up in front of Nickelodeon Studios, where a security guard is standing by the gate)

'''French Narrator''': ''Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios.'' (a large crowd of excited people is shown) ''Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch...'' (a title appears on screen) ''...the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode!'' (an shot of the town of Encino appears) ''Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate!'' (inside his house, Patchy is inside the shower, humming. Potty flies up)

'''Potty the Parrot''': Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here. (flushes the toilet)

'''Patchy the Pirate''': WAH!!! (opens the curtain in panic) Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time? (looks at the camera) Oh, hello! Dahh! (covers himself with the curtain) What are you all doing here?

'''Potty''': They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk!

'''Patchy''': But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! (starts to cry)

'''Children''': (off-screen) No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!

'''Patchy''': But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")

'''French Narrator''': ''Remembering SpongeBob.'' (curtain in the background opens. A yellow, sponge walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "[[As Seen on TV (Episode)|As Seen on TV]]", brings it around town, from "[[Bubblestand (Episode)|Bubblestand]]", puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "[[The Chaperone (Episode)|The Chaperone]]", struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from "[[Pizza Delivery (Episode)|Pizza Delivery]]", stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from "[[Help Wanted (Episode)|Help Wanted]]", skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from "[[Valentine's Day (Episode)|Valentine's Day]]", goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from "[[Tea at the Treedome (Episode)|Tea at the Treedome]]", surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from "[[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]]", dodges a karate chop from a brown, land squirrel, from "[[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]]", smokes a bubble pipe, from "[[Grandma's Kisses (Episode)|Grandma's Kisses]]", sheds a layer of his skin, from "[[F.U.N. (Episode)|F.U.N.]]", floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from "[[Naughty Nautical Neighbors (Episode)|Naughty Nautical Neighbors]]", a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from "[[MuscleBob BuffPants (Episode)|MuscleBob BuffPants]]", he lies in bed next to an turquoise octopus, from "[[Home Sweet Pineapple (Episode)|Home Sweet Pineapple]]", scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto a blond, female pufferfish, from "[[Boating School (Episode)|Boating School]]", rocks out, from "[[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]", plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from "[[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]]", shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from "[[Nature Pants (Episode)|Nature Pants]]", does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand of the octopus, from "[[Reef Blower (Episode)|Reef Blower]]", wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by the octopus, from "[[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]". An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)

'''Patchy''': I don't believe I lost the Lost Episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.

'''Potty''': What about your leg?

'''Patchy''': Well, yeah, but...

'''Potty''': And your eye.

'''Patchy''': Well, the eye, I...

'''Potty''': And your hand.

'''Patchy''': And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! (shoos Potty away) Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is. (a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits him. Mutters gibberish and then falls over)

'''Potty''': What is it? Brawk!

'''Patchy''': Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Lost Episode of SpongeBob I lost!

'''Potty''': It's a dream come true!

'''Patchy''': (giggles) We gotta go find it, Potty! (shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps) Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. (grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg) Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! (runs down the steps, along with Potty)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting) Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. (walks past the woman's house)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Would you boys like some cookies?

'''Patchy''': Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. (continues walking)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Okay, don't catch a cold.

'''Patchy''': Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. (looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree) Half a league to the forked tree. (looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it) Oh! (stands somewhere else, looking at the map) Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! (lowers the map and sees a playground full of children) Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!!! (runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse) AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! (goes up and down on a see-saw) Whoa!!! Whoa! (slides down a slide with his hands up) YAHHHHH!!! (hits the ground) Ow! (gets spun around on a merry-go-round) AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back) Ahh... Ahh... Ah! (inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him) AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (gets pushed on the swing by a little girl) AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! (the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand) We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode! (laughs) Dig it, get it? (laughs some more)

'''Potty''': (covered in sand) You stink!

'''Patchy''': And I just got out of the shower. (laughs again. Sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something) Hey Potty, I think I hit something. (camera zooms out. A large treasure chest sits in the sand) Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (opens the chest. A golden glow shines from it) This is it! (a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape. Patchy takes it. The man cups his hands) I don't know what it means either. (slams the top of the chest on the man) But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. (runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again. Runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up) Yeah!!! Popcorn. (slams a bag of popcorn down on the table) Soda. (puts a cup of soda on the table) Pickled garlic! (puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things. Runs and sits down) Potty, hit the remote!

'''Potty''': (drops an egg that hits the remote) Brawk! (the VCR turns on)

'''Patchy''': (grabs the popcorn) This is gonna be great! (a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen) I can't believe it. More SpongeBob! (starts eating the popcorn. The countdown makes its way down to five) This so exciting! (laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere. The countdown ends) Here it comes!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Pipe down! ("Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen. The Sponge is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background. His body squishes up, then returns to normal. Then, his body extends and his arms flail around. He returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. Then, once again, he squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. He starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right. He extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around. Then, he begins frantically running again. His limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head. He begins walking normally again. "Walk Cycles" ends. A test card is shown while a 1050 Hz tone comes from the TV. Patchy stares blankly for a moment)

'''Patchy''': That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!

'''Potty''': What a rip!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)

'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead!

'''Announcer''': (on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "SpongeBob SquarePants Episode 118 The Real Lost Episode") ''And now, the real Lost Episode!''

'''Potty''': Brawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!

'''Patchy''': (opens the door) Really? (shuts the door, then reenters again, quickly reversing what he did earlier. Sits back down) Hooray! Let's watch!

(title card and opening credits play. The episode proper begins in the Jellying Fields)

'''French Narrator''': ''Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter.'' (The Sponge stands completely still at the top of a hill, holding his net) ''He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security.'' (a jellyfish swims right by him) ''And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.''

'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': (puts on his safety glasses, turns into a spring and bounces after the jellyfish. Stops in midair and looks down) Huh? (stretches out and starts falling downward, now in normal form) AHHHHHHHHH!!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (separates into seven smaller SpongeBobs, who all run away and then join back together, except for one, which SpongeBob catches and places in an open space on his backside. Wipes the sweat off his forehead) Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish. (salutes a jellyfish that buzzes over his head) Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty. (a jellyfish floats up and down above SpongeBob's palm. Music begins to play as a microphone lowers in front of him. Clears his throat)

'''Music:''' "[[I Wish, I Could Fly]]"

If only I could join you there in the air
Floating free without a care
I wish I could fly
And see things with a different eye

(SpongeBob's two eyes combine into one big eye. The camera zooms into it and his pupil becomes him flying through the sky)

I would fly so very high and touch the sky

(he flies through a crowd)

And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly

(the blue sky backdrop turns back into Jellyfish Fields, and SpongeBob falls to the ground. He gets up)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants. (a thought cloud appears above SpongeBob's head. SpongeBob's grandfather is inside of it)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': (in SpongeBob's thought cloud) If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs. (the cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': (snaps) I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob working on building a plane outside of a barn. A pink starfish walks up to him)

'''Patrick Star''': What's that contraption, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': That, Patrick, is a flying machine. (Patrick laughs) What's so funny?

'''Patrick''': Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. (a thought cloud appears over his head. Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': If we were meant to fly, uh... hey, I'm not your grandfather! (pokes Patrick in the head with his cane. The thought cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, here I go, Patrick! (runs to the front) I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! (spins the propeller around) Landing gear... (kicks the tire) check! Complimentary peanuts... (holds up a bag of peanuts) check-a-roo. (hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on) Ready for takeoff! (pushes a handle forward. The plane starts up, then comes to pieces. The propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm. Sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick)

'''Patrick''': You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!

'''SpongeBob''': Don't remind me.

'''Farmer Jenkins''': (runs up) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! (Patrick and SpongeBob run away)

'''Patrick''': We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food! (bubble-wipe to Patrick standing in front of his rock, looking dumb. SpongeBob runs up with blueprints in his hand)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... (blows raspberries. Bubble-wipe to him standing on the top of a cliff in a rubbery bat costume) This one's gonna fly! (stretches out the wings. The camera focuses on SpongeBob's butt, which is sticking out more than ever) I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': (at the bottom of the cliff) Ready!

'''SpongeBob''': (jumps and starts flapping his wings. Starts gasping) It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm... (ceases to fly) ...falling!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (Patrick runs over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, holding a clipboard, and Patrick, walking)

'''SpongeBob''': This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly!, Be hold (walks up to a lawn chair with two balloons attached to it and a brick sitting on it)

'''Patrick''': Oh boy, a birthday party!

'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three. (goes over and picks up the brick) All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and... (turns around and realizes that his invention is no longer there) Huh? (looks up and sees it flying away) Well, back to the drawing board.

'''Patrick''': Can we have the cake now? (singing) Happy, happy birthday to you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, attached to a red kite, which is attached to a bicycle that Patrick is on)

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, get ready to say "Eureka!"

'''Patrick''': Okay!

'''SpongeBob''': Go!!! (Patrick starts pedaling. Lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air) It's working! I'm flying! (flies past three fish on the side of the road)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite!

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Nancy''': Oh my goodness...

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Cap Fish''': He'll fall and break his...

'''Nancy''': Can you see from up there?

'''SpongeBob''': Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you. (suddenly, the kite snaps on him and falls out of the sky) D'oh! (Patrick keeps pedaling as SpongeBob repeatedly hits the ground behind him) Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! (the three fish crack up. Bubble-wipe to the Barg'n Mart. SpongeBob is standing at the cash register in front of Vendor. Puts the shredded kite on the counter) Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite.

'''Vendor''': Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! (holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly")

'''SpongeBob''': "Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs too!

'''Vendor''': No they didn't.

'''SpongeBob''': (raises his fist) You'll see. (walks outside, and past Monroe and his mother)

'''Monroe''': Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.

'''Mother''': Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs.

'''Monroe''': Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! (makes flapping motions. He and his mother laugh cruelly. SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?

'''Nancy''': Maybe he's looking for a statue to '''poop''' on.

'''Fred''': (steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs)

'''SpongeBob''': Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! (two fish holding babies stand to the side of him)

'''Mother #2''': You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?

'''Stubble Fish''': I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. (looks at his hands)

'''Fish''': We all had dreams.

'''Nancy''': What makes you so special? (the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches)

'''Mob''': Let's get him!

'''SpongeBob''': (the mob chases him. Starts panting, then stops) Huh? (camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff. Falls down) AHHHHH!!!

'''Fish''': Good riddance, dreamer!

'''SpongeBob''': AHHHHH!!! (lands in a Mud Removal truck) Ooh! (the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling) Well, it can't get any worse. Doh! (lands in a Feather Delivery truck. Sticks his head, which is now covered with feathers, up) I guess I spoke too soon. (the scene freezes)

'''French Narrator''': ''Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned.'' (fade to black. Fade back in on SpongeBob, with a towel wrapped around his body and the top of his head, looking out the window at the jellyfish flying by)

'''SpongeBob''': There they go again, Gary. (sighs) I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. (takes off his towel, under which is his underwear, and tosses it away) Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. (grabs his pants and puts them on) Back to reality. (walks over to the sink. a blue snail follows)

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': No, Gary, my dreams are silly. (takes the towel off of his head. Grabs a comb and blow-dryer and starts brushing and drying his spongy hair. The phone rings. Sticks the blow-dryer partially in his pants and answers the phone) Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? (the blow-dryer starts to inflate his pants) No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. (Gary retreats inside his shell) I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible. (floats upward and hits the ceiling) I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! (pulls the blow-dryer out of his pants) I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come! (the top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it)

'''Monroe''': (points) Mom, look! It's the flying guy!

'''Mother''': Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all. (SpongeBob is flying over the town)

'''Music:''' "[[He's Flying]]"

'''SpongeBob''': I'm flying! I'm flying!

(Cap Fish pops up)

'''Cap Fish''': He's flying!

(a guy pops out the window)

'''Fish''': He's flying!

(the old woman fish pops up)

'''Citizens''': He's really, really flying!

(Nancy opens her door. Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm)

'''SpongeBob''': They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.

(the Old Woman Fish stands next to a blue fish with balloons. An aqua fish stands next to another older fish. A business fish and the vendor pass by)

'''Citizens''': But now he's flying.

(SpongeBob passes over them)

He's flying high in the sky.

(Johnson drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene)

'''SpongeBob''': I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.

(takes off)

But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!

(passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble)

Roads and streets are not for me.

(passes over an intersection with a stoplight)

'''Mrs. Poppy Puff''': Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl. (takes a deep breath) But now it looks like the end of her world. (the tree branch holding the snail snaps off) NO!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob''': (catches the snail) Gotcha! (laughs. Hands the snail to Mrs. Puff) Next time, try the elevator. (flies off)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Thank you, Bird Man! (SpongeBob flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him. He flies up to a plane, in which Fred is sitting, among others)

'''SpongeBob''': I have never felt so free!

(Fred looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment)

High in the sky is the place for me.

(flies away. Fred pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily)

Helping friends from up above.

(SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him. Sprinkles drop down over a group of children. Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust)

These are the things that I love!

(picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in a red crab's hand)

I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.

'''Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs''': I'm rich! (Patrick stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick. SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air)

'''SpongeBob''': And I'll save Patrick from this mime!

'''Patrick''': Thanks, buddy! (SpongeBob flies over to a kelp bush)

'''SpongeBob''': Even Plankton needs some help,
when he gets tangled in the
ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!

(inside the bush, a deep green planktonic copepod is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp. SpongeBob lifts him up)

'''Plankton''': Please put me down!

("He's Flying" ends. Cut to the Bikini Bottom News, where a Realistic Fish Head is reporting)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. (cut to Tom, wearing a bad hairpiece)

'''Tom''': He found my hair piece! (cut to a little boy fish)

'''Boy''': He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people.

'''Realistic Fish Head''': (back at the desk) Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next? (cut to a foggy night at Goo Lagoon. The lighthouse is shining its light around, when suddenly, it goes out. Johnson and an old fish run up)

'''Johnson''': Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (drives through the fog in a boat on the lagoon) I'm glad I gave up farming!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down) I'm coming! (takes out the old light bulb and reaches behind his back to get a new one. Screws it in and flips the switch. It turns on and Sailor Jenkins turns back around. A crowd of people run up, cheering)

'''Johnson''': Thanks, mysterious flying man!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (slams into a large rock in the middle of the lagoon. His boat starts to sink) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!

'''SpongeBob''': (walking away, with his pants deflated, brushing his hands off) That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (runs up) SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!

'''SpongeBob''': But Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality. (starts to walk away)

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, it's an emergency!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and inflates his pants) Let's roll! (flying through the sky with Mr. Krabs in his arms) Where to, Mr. K?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh... my garage.

'''SpongeBob''': You've got it! (lands next to Mr. Krabs' garage) What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs

'''Mr. Krabs''': Are you sure you're up for it, boy?

'''SpongeBob''': I think my pants can handle it.

'''Mr. Krabs''': I need you...

'''SpongeBob''': (anxiously) Yes?

'''Mr. Krabs''': To clean...

'''SpongeBob''': Clean up crime?

'''Mr. Krabs''': My garage.

'''SpongeBob''': (his pants deflate) That's your emergency?

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!

'''SpongeBob''': (crosses his arms) All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors! (inflates his pants again. Bubble-wipe to later. Flies out of the garage, finished with the job) All done, Mr. Krabs.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (sunbathing) And the recyclables?

'''SpongeBob''': Aw, shrimp. (turns around and reenters the garage. Bubble-wipe to even later. Flies away) Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!

'''Patrick''': (off-screen) SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick's in trouble.

'''Patrick''': (lying on his back in the street) SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down to him) What is it, buddy?

'''Patrick''': Will you scratch my tummy? (SpongeBob gets annoyed but does it anyway) Ah... (a montage begins)

'''Larry the Lobster''': Help me pick out a tie? (holds out three different colored ties. SpongeBob picks one)

'''Squidward Tentacles''': Clean my bathtub? (SpongeBob unwillingly obeys)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Balance my checkbook? (SpongeBob scribbles in her checkbook)

'''Plankton''': Help spread the word of evil? (SpongeBob hands out newspapers with the headline "EVIL" on them)

'''Hat Fish''': Untangle my phone chords?

'''Cap Fish''': Do my geometry?

'''Nancy''': Talk to my plants!

'''Gray Fish''': Rub my scalp? (SpongeBob rubs the man's scalp) Mmm... oh yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and starts flailing his arms) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are.

'''Gray Fish''': But, we went to elementary school together.

'''SpongeBob''': Dennis? (starts rubbing his scalp again)

'''Dennis''': Mmm... oh yeah! (bubble-wipe to a crowd of fish searching for SpongeBob)

'''Cap Fish''': SpongeBob!

'''Monroe''': Hey SpongeBob!

'''Fred''': SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (hiding behind a rock) If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. (quietly flies away)

'''Monroe''': Hey! There he is! (SpongeBob flies faster) He's getting away!

'''Light Purple Fish''': No! He owes us favors!

'''Monroe''': Get him!!! (the angry crowd, including Mrs. Puff, Squidward and Larry, chases after him into Downtown Bikini Bottom. While SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building. They stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob keeps flying)

'''SpongeBob''': I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!

'''Johnson''': He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (off-screen) I'll take care of this!

'''Crowd''': It's Cannonball Jenkins!!!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit. Launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob. Collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode. The two hurtle toward the ground. SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute) I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! (the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground. They walk over)

'''Fred''': What have we done? (starts to cry) Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. (picks up the pants) A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. (the crowd leaves. SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it was fun while it lasted. (walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away) I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. (sighs. Starts to raise up in the air. A group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up) Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... (the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom; singing)

'''Music:''' "[[All You Need is Friends to Fly]]"

You don't need a plane to fly,

(Johnson looks out the window at him)

Plastic wings may make you cry,

(a flock of scallops fly by)

Kites are made for windy days,

Lawn chair with balloons... fly away...

(the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as they mourn over them)

Inflatable pants... you may as well skiiiiip...

(arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground)

If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship.
Yeah.

(the jellyfish buzz away. SpongeBob waves)

'''SpongeBob''': Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.

'''Patrick''': (walks up) Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.

'''SpongeBob''': No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. (opens his door)

'''Patrick''': Suit yourself. (lifts up his arm and flies away)

'''SpongeBob''': (turns back around) Did Patrick just...? (laughs) Nah! (enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure. Fade back to Patchy's house)

'''Patchy''': Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?

'''Potty''': Let's watch it again.

'''Patchy''': (chuckles) That's a great idea, Potty. (looks on the table) Where's the remote? (continues searching) Where's the remote? (stands up) Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... (a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head) Eh... (falls to the floor)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (stands back up and drops the brick on his foot. He is now holding his remote) My remote! (goes to the window) Thanks, stranger!

'''Mrs. Johnson''': (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)

'''Patchy''': Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV) Doh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Let me do it!

'''Patchy''': No, get away! (the lights go out) That's the light switch! Gimme that. Gah! (the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a Spanish mariachi band pops up from behind the couch)

'''Potty''': Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... I hate technology!!! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Patchy continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Failure ahoy! 

'''Patchy''': No! (tries to stop the tape from spewing out) Stop! STOP!!! Oh, blasted infernal machine! (gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling) Oh no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Lost forever!

'''French Narrator''': ''Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds.'' (a SpongeBob constellation appears over Patchy's house) ''Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.''

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: The Sponge Who Could Fly

2022-11-26T02:01:13Z

135.26.76.254: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Plankton's Army|Plankton's Army]]
|[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Meets the Strangler|SpongeBob Meets the Strangler]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode)|The Sponge Who Could Fly]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Grandpa SquarePants]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Nancy Suzy Fish|Nancy]]
*[[Mrs. Johnson]]
*Parents with 3 babies
*[[Sandy Cheeks]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)

==Dialogue==
(first scene opens up in front of Nickelodeon Studios, where a security guard is standing by the gate)

'''French Narrator''': ''Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios.'' (a large crowd of excited people is shown) ''Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch...'' (a title appears on screen) ''...the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode!'' (an shot of the town of Encino appears) ''Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate!'' (inside his house, Patchy is inside the shower, humming. Potty flies up)

'''Potty the Parrot''': Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here. (flushes the toilet)

'''Patchy the Pirate''': WAH!!! (opens the curtain in panic) Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time? (looks at the camera) Oh, hello! Dahh! (covers himself with the curtain) What are you all doing here?

'''Potty''': They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk!

'''Patchy''': But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! (starts to cry)

'''Children''': (off-screen) No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!

'''Patchy''': But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")

'''French Narrator''': ''Remembering SpongeBob.'' (curtain in the background opens. A yellow, sponge walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "[[As Seen on TV (Episode)|As Seen on TV]]", brings it around town, from "[[Bubblestand (Episode)|Bubblestand]]", puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "[[The Chaperone (Episode)|The Chaperone]]", struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from "[[Pizza Delivery (Episode)|Pizza Delivery]]", stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from "[[Help Wanted (Episode)|Help Wanted]]", skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from "[[Valentine's Day (Episode)|Valentine's Day]]", goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from "[[Tea at the Treedome (Episode)|Tea at the Treedome]]", surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from "[[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]]", dodges a karate chop from a brown, land squirrel, from "[[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]]", smokes a bubble pipe, from "[[Grandma's Kisses (Episode)|Grandma's Kisses]]", sheds a layer of his skin, from "[[F.U.N. (Episode)|F.U.N.]]", floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from "[[Naughty Nautical Neighbors (Episode)|Naughty Nautical Neighbors]]", a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from "[[MuscleBob BuffPants (Episode)|MuscleBob BuffPants]]", he lies in bed next to an turquoise octopus, from "[[Home Sweet Pineapple (Episode)|Home Sweet Pineapple]]", scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto a blond, female pufferfish, from "[[Boating School (Episode)|Boating School]]", rocks out, from "[[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]", plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from "[[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]]", shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from "[[Nature Pants (Episode)|Nature Pants]]", does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand of the octopus, from "[[Reef Blower (Episode)|Reef Blower]]", wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by the octopus, from "[[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]". An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)

'''Patchy''': I don't believe I lost the Lost Episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.

'''Potty''': What about your leg?

'''Patchy''': Well, yeah, but...

'''Potty''': And your eye.

'''Patchy''': Well, the eye, I...

'''Potty''': And your hand.

'''Patchy''': And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! (shoos Potty away) Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is. (a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits him. Mutters gibberish and then falls over)

'''Potty''': What is it? Brawk!

'''Patchy''': Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Lost Episode of SpongeBob I lost!

'''Potty''': It's a dream come true!

'''Patchy''': (giggles) We gotta go find it, Potty! (shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps) Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. (grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg) Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! (runs down the steps, along with Potty)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting) Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. (walks past the woman's house)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Would you boys like some cookies?

'''Patchy''': Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. (continues walking)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Okay, don't catch a cold.

'''Patchy''': Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. (looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree) Half a league to the forked tree. (looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it) Oh! (stands somewhere else, looking at the map) Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! (lowers the map and sees a playground full of children) Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!!! (runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse) AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! (goes up and down on a see-saw) Whoa!!! Whoa! (slides down a slide with his hands up) YAHHHHH!!! (hits the ground) Ow! (gets spun around on a merry-go-round) AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back) Ahh... Ahh... Ah! (inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him) AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (gets pushed on the swing by a little girl) AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! (the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand) We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode! (laughs) Dig it, get it? (laughs some more)

'''Potty''': (covered in sand) You stink!

'''Patchy''': And I just got out of the shower. (laughs again. Sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something) Hey Potty, I think I hit something. (camera zooms out. A large treasure chest sits in the sand) Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (opens the chest. A golden glow shines from it) This is it! (a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape. Patchy takes it. The man cups his hands) I don't know what it means either. (slams the top of the chest on the man) But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. (runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again. Runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up) Yeah!!! Popcorn. (slams a bag of popcorn down on the table) Soda. (puts a cup of soda on the table) Pickled garlic! (puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things. Runs and sits down) Potty, hit the remote!

'''Potty''': (drops an egg that hits the remote) Brawk! (the VCR turns on)

'''Patchy''': (grabs the popcorn) This is gonna be great! (a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen) I can't believe it. More SpongeBob! (starts eating the popcorn. The countdown makes its way down to five) This so exciting! (laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere. The countdown ends) Here it comes!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Pipe down! ("Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen. The Sponge is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background. His body squishes up, then returns to normal. Then, his body extends and his arms flail around. He returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. Then, once again, he squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. He starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right. He extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around. Then, he begins frantically running again. His limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head. He begins walking normally again. "Walk Cycles" ends. A test card is shown while a 1050 Hz tone comes from the TV. Patchy stares blankly for a moment)

'''Patchy''': That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!

'''Potty''': What a rip!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)

'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead!

'''Announcer''': (on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "SpongeBob SquarePants Episode 118 The Real Lost Episode") ''And now, the real Lost Episode!''

'''Potty''': Brawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!

'''Patchy''': (opens the door) Really? (shuts the door, then reenters again, quickly reversing what he did earlier. Sits back down) Hooray! Let's watch!

(title card and opening credits play. The episode proper begins in the Jellying Fields)

'''French Narrator''': ''Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter.'' (The Sponge stands completely still at the top of a hill, holding his net) ''He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security.'' (a jellyfish swims right by him) ''And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.''

'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': (puts on his safety glasses, turns into a spring and bounces after the jellyfish. Stops in midair and looks down) Huh? (stretches out and starts falling downward, now in normal form) AHHHHHHHHH!!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (separates into seven smaller SpongeBobs, who all run away and then join back together, except for one, which SpongeBob catches and places in an open space on his backside. Wipes the sweat off his forehead) Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish. (salutes a jellyfish that buzzes over his head) Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty. (a jellyfish floats up and down above SpongeBob's palm. Music begins to play as a microphone lowers in front of him. Clears his throat)

'''Music:''' "[[I Wish, I Could Fly]]"

If only I could join you there in the air
Floating free without a care
I wish I could fly
And see things with a different eye

(SpongeBob's two eyes combine into one big eye. The camera zooms into it and his pupil becomes him flying through the sky)

I would fly so very high and touch the sky

(he flies through a crowd)

And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly

(the blue sky backdrop turns back into Jellyfish Fields, and SpongeBob falls to the ground. He gets up)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants. (a thought cloud appears above SpongeBob's head. SpongeBob's grandfather is inside of it)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': (in SpongeBob's thought cloud) If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs. (the cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': (snaps) I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob working on building a plane outside of a barn. A pink starfish walks up to him)

'''Patrick Star''': What's that contraption, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': That, Patrick, is a flying machine. (Patrick laughs) What's so funny?

'''Patrick''': Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. (a thought cloud appears over his head. Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': If we were meant to fly, uh... hey, I'm not your grandfather! (pokes Patrick in the head with his cane. The thought cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, here I go, Patrick! (runs to the front) I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! (spins the propeller around) Landing gear... (kicks the tire) check! Complimentary peanuts... (holds up a bag of peanuts) check-a-roo. (hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on) Ready for takeoff! (pushes a handle forward. The plane starts up, then comes to pieces. The propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm. Sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick)

'''Patrick''': You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!

'''SpongeBob''': Don't remind me.

'''Farmer Jenkins''': (runs up) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! (Patrick and SpongeBob run away)

'''Patrick''': We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food! (bubble-wipe to Patrick standing in front of his rock, looking dumb. SpongeBob runs up with blueprints in his hand)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... (blows raspberries. Bubble-wipe to him standing on the top of a cliff in a rubbery bat costume) This one's gonna fly! (stretches out the wings. The camera focuses on SpongeBob's butt, which is sticking out more than ever) I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': (at the bottom of the cliff) Ready!

'''SpongeBob''': (jumps and starts flapping his wings. Starts gasping) It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm... (ceases to fly) ...falling!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (Patrick runs over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, holding a clipboard, and Patrick, walking)

'''SpongeBob''': This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly!, Be hold (walks up to a lawn chair with two balloons attached to it and a brick sitting on it)

'''Patrick''': Oh boy, a birthday party!

'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three. (goes over and picks up the brick) All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and... (turns around and realizes that his invention is no longer there) Huh? (looks up and sees it flying away) Well, back to the drawing board.

'''Patrick''': Can we have the cake now? (singing) Happy, happy birthday to you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, attached to a red kite, which is attached to a bicycle that Patrick is on)

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, get ready to say "Eureka!"

'''Patrick''': Okay!

'''SpongeBob''': Go!!! (Patrick starts pedaling. Lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air) It's working! I'm flying! (flies past three fish on the side of the road)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite!

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Nancy''': Oh my goodness...

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Cap Fish''': He'll fall and break his...

'''Nancy''': Can you see from up there?

'''SpongeBob''': Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you. (suddenly, the kite snaps on him and falls out of the sky) D'oh! (Patrick keeps pedaling as SpongeBob repeatedly hits the ground behind him) Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! (the three fish crack up. Bubble-wipe to the Barg'n Mart. SpongeBob is standing at the cash register in front of Vendor. Puts the shredded kite on the counter) Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite.

'''Vendor''': Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! (holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly")

'''SpongeBob''': "Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs too!

'''Vendor''': No they didn't.

'''SpongeBob''': (raises his fist) You'll see. (walks outside, and past Monroe and his mother)

'''Monroe''': Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.

'''Mother''': Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs.

'''Monroe''': Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! (makes flapping motions. He and his mother laugh cruelly. SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?

'''Nancy''': Maybe he's looking for a statue to '''poop''' on.

'''Fred''': (steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs)

'''SpongeBob''': Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! (two fish holding babies stand to the side of him)

'''Mother #2''': You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?

'''Stubble Fish''': I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. (looks at his hands)

'''Fish''': We all had dreams.

'''Nancy''': What makes you so special? (the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches)

'''Mob''': Let's get him!

'''SpongeBob''': (the mob chases him. Starts panting, then stops) Huh? (camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff. Falls down) AHHHHH!!!

'''Fish''': Good riddance, dreamer!

'''SpongeBob''': AHHHHH!!! (lands in a Mud Removal truck) Ooh! (the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling) Well, it can't get any worse. Doh! (lands in a Feather Delivery truck. Sticks his head, which is now covered with feathers, up) I guess I spoke too soon. (the scene freezes)

'''French Narrator''': ''Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned.'' (fade to black. Fade back in on SpongeBob, with a towel wrapped around his body and the top of his head, looking out the window at the jellyfish flying by)

'''SpongeBob''': There they go again, Gary. (sighs) I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. (takes off his towel, under which is his underwear, and tosses it away) Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. (grabs his pants and puts them on) Back to reality. (walks over to the sink. a blue snail follows)

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': No, Gary, my dreams are silly. (takes the towel off of his head. Grabs a comb and blow-dryer and starts brushing and drying his spongy hair. The phone rings. Sticks the blow-dryer partially in his pants and answers the phone) Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? (the blow-dryer starts to inflate his pants) No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. (Gary retreats inside his shell) I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible. (floats upward and hits the ceiling) I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! (pulls the blow-dryer out of his pants) I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come! (the top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it)

'''Monroe''': (points) Mom, look! It's the flying guy!

'''Mother''': Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all. (SpongeBob is flying over the town)

'''Music:''' "[[He's Flying]]"

'''SpongeBob''': I'm flying! I'm flying!

(Cap Fish pops up)

'''Cap Fish''': He's flying!

(a guy pops out the window)

'''Fish''': He's flying!

(the old woman fish pops up)

'''Citizens''': He's really, really flying!

(Nancy opens her door. Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm)

'''SpongeBob''': They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.

(the Old Woman Fish stands next to a blue fish with balloons. An aqua fish stands next to another older fish. A business fish and the vendor pass by)

'''Citizens''': But now he's flying.

(SpongeBob passes over them)

He's flying high in the sky.

(Johnson drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene)

'''SpongeBob''': I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.

(takes off)

But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!

(passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble)

Roads and streets are not for me.

(passes over an intersection with a stoplight)

'''Mrs. Poppy Puff''': Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl. (takes a deep breath) But now it looks like the end of her world. (the tree branch holding the snail snaps off) NO!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob''': (catches the snail) Gotcha! (laughs. Hands the snail to Mrs. Puff) Next time, try the elevator. (flies off)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Thank you, Bird Man! (SpongeBob flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him. He flies up to a plane, in which Fred is sitting, among others)

'''SpongeBob''': I have never felt so free!

(Fred looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment)

High in the sky is the place for me.

(flies away. Fred pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily)

Helping friends from up above.

(SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him. Sprinkles drop down over a group of children. Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust)

These are the things that I love!

(picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in a red crab's hand)

I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.

'''Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs''': I'm rich! (Patrick stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick. SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air)

'''SpongeBob''': And I'll save Patrick from this mime!

'''Patrick''': Thanks, buddy! (SpongeBob flies over to a kelp bush)

'''SpongeBob''': Even Plankton needs some help,
when he gets tangled in the
ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!

(inside the bush, a deep green planktonic copepod is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp. SpongeBob lifts him up)

'''Plankton''': Please put me down!

("He's Flying" ends. Cut to the Bikini Bottom News, where a Realistic Fish Head is reporting)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. (cut to Tom, wearing a bad hairpiece)

'''Tom''': He found my hair piece! (cut to a little boy fish)

'''Boy''': He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people.

'''Realistic Fish Head''': (back at the desk) Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next? (cut to a foggy night at Goo Lagoon. The lighthouse is shining its light around, when suddenly, it goes out. Johnson and an old fish run up)

'''Johnson''': Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (drives through the fog in a boat on the lagoon) I'm glad I gave up farming!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down) I'm coming! (takes out the old light bulb and reaches behind his back to get a new one. Screws it in and flips the switch. It turns on and Sailor Jenkins turns back around. A crowd of people run up, cheering)

'''Johnson''': Thanks, mysterious flying man!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (slams into a large rock in the middle of the lagoon. His boat starts to sink) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!

'''SpongeBob''': (walking away, with his pants deflated, brushing his hands off) That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (runs up) SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!

'''SpongeBob''': But Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality. (starts to walk away)

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, it's an emergency!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and inflates his pants) Let's roll! (flying through the sky with Mr. Krabs in his arms) Where to, Mr. K?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh... my garage.

'''SpongeBob''': You've got it! (lands next to Mr. Krabs' garage) What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs

'''Mr. Krabs''': Are you sure you're up for it, boy?

'''SpongeBob''': I think my pants can handle it.

'''Mr. Krabs''': I need you...

'''SpongeBob''': (anxiously) Yes?

'''Mr. Krabs''': To clean...

'''SpongeBob''': Clean up crime?

'''Mr. Krabs''': My garage.

'''SpongeBob''': (his pants deflate) That's your emergency?

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!

'''SpongeBob''': (crosses his arms) All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors! (inflates his pants again. Bubble-wipe to later. Flies out of the garage, finished with the job) All done, Mr. Krabs.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (sunbathing) And the recyclables?

'''SpongeBob''': Aw, shrimp. (turns around and reenters the garage. Bubble-wipe to even later. Flies away) Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!

'''Patrick''': (off-screen) SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick's in trouble.

'''Patrick''': (lying on his back in the street) SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down to him) What is it, buddy?

'''Patrick''': Will you scratch my tummy? (SpongeBob gets annoyed but does it anyway) Ah... (a montage begins)

'''Larry the Lobster''': Help me pick out a tie? (holds out three different colored ties. SpongeBob picks one)

'''Squidward Tentacles''': Clean my bathtub? (SpongeBob unwillingly obeys)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Balance my checkbook? (SpongeBob scribbles in her checkbook)

'''Plankton''': Help spread the word of evil? (SpongeBob hands out newspapers with the headline "EVIL" on them)

'''Hat Fish''': Untangle my phone chords?

'''Cap Fish''': Do my geometry?

'''Nancy''': Talk to my plants!

'''Gray Fish''': Rub my scalp? (SpongeBob rubs the man's scalp) Mmm... oh yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and starts flailing his arms) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are.

'''Gray Fish''': But, we went to elementary school together.

'''SpongeBob''': Dennis? (starts rubbing his scalp again)

'''Dennis''': Mmm... oh yeah! (bubble-wipe to a crowd of fish searching for SpongeBob)

'''Cap Fish''': SpongeBob!

'''Monroe''': Hey SpongeBob!

'''Fred''': SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (hiding behind a rock) If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. (quietly flies away)

'''Monroe''': Hey! There he is! (SpongeBob flies faster) He's getting away!

'''Light Purple Fish''': No! He owes us favors!

'''Monroe''': Get him!!! (the angry crowd, including Mrs. Puff, Squidward and Larry, chases after him into Downtown Bikini Bottom. While SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building. They stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob keeps flying)

'''SpongeBob''': I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!

'''Johnson''': He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (off-screen) I'll take care of this!

'''Crowd''': It's Cannonball Jenkins!!!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit. Launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob. Collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode. The two hurtle toward the ground. SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute) I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! (the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground. They walk over)

'''Fred''': What have we done? (starts to cry) Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. (picks up the pants) A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. (the crowd leaves. SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it was fun while it lasted. (walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away) I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. (sighs. Starts to raise up in the air. A group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up) Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... (the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom; singing)

'''Music:''' "[[All You Need is Friends to Fly]]"

You don't need a plane to fly,

(Johnson looks out the window at him)

Plastic wings may make you cry,

(a flock of scallops fly by)

Kites are made for windy days,

Lawn chair with balloons... fly away...

(the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as they mourn over them)

Inflatable pants... you may as well skiiiiip...

(arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground)

If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship.
Yeah.

(the jellyfish buzz away. SpongeBob waves)

'''SpongeBob''': Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.

'''Patrick''': (walks up) Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.

'''SpongeBob''': No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. (opens his door)

'''Patrick''': Suit yourself. (lifts up his arm and flies away)

'''SpongeBob''': (turns back around) Did Patrick just...? (laughs) Nah! (enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure. Fade back to Patchy's house)

'''Patchy''': Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?

'''Potty''': Let's watch it again.

'''Patchy''': (chuckles) That's a great idea, Potty. (looks on the table) Where's the remote? (continues searching) Where's the remote? (stands up) Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... (a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head) Eh... (falls to the floor)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (stands back up and drops the brick on his foot. He is now holding his remote) My remote! (goes to the window) Thanks, stranger!

'''Mrs. Johnson''': (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)

'''Patchy''': Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV) Doh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Let me do it!

'''Patchy''': No, get away! (the lights go out) That's the light switch! Gimme that. Gah! (the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a Spanish mariachi band pops up from behind the couch)

'''Potty''': Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... I hate technology!!! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Patchy continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Failure ahoy! 

'''Patchy''': No! (tries to stop the tape from spewing out) Stop! STOP!!! Oh, blasted infernal machine! (gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling) Oh no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Lost forever!

'''French Narrator''': ''Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds.'' (a SpongeBob constellation appears over Patchy's house) ''Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.''

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: The Sponge Who Could Fly

2022-11-26T01:59:07Z

135.26.76.254: /* Characters */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Plankton's Army|Plankton's Army]]
|[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Meets the Strangler|SpongeBob Meets the Strangler]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode)|The Sponge Who Could Fly]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Grandpa SquarePants]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Nancy Suzy Fish|Nancy]]
*[[Mrs. Johnson]]
*Parents with 3 babies
*[[Sandy Cheeks]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (cameo in "Remembering SpongeBob" montage)

==Dialogue==
(first scene opens up in front of Nickelodeon Studios, where a security guard is standing by the gate)

'''French Narrator''': ''Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios.'' (a large crowd of excited people is shown) ''Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch...'' (a title appears on screen) ''...the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode!'' (an shot of the town of Encino appears) ''Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate!'' (inside his house, Patchy is inside the shower, humming. Potty flies up)

'''Potty the Parrot''': Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here. (flushes the toilet)

'''Patchy the Pirate''': WAH!!! (opens the curtain in panic) Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time? (looks at the camera) Oh, hello! Dahh! (covers himself with the curtain) What are you all doing here?

'''Potty''': They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk!

'''Patchy''': But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! (starts to cry)

'''Children''': (off-screen) No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!

'''Patchy''': But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")

'''French Narrator''': ''Remembering SpongeBob.'' (curtain in the background opens. a yellow, sponge walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "[[As Seen on TV (Episode)|As Seen on TV]]", brings it around town, from "[[Bubblestand (Episode)|Bubblestand]]", puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "[[The Chaperone (Episode)|The Chaperone]]", struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from "[[Pizza Delivery (Episode)|Pizza Delivery]]", stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from "[[Help Wanted (Episode)|Help Wanted]]", skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from "[[Valentine's Day (Episode)|Valentine's Day]]", goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from "[[Tea at the Treedome (Episode)|Tea at the Treedome]]", surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from "[[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]]", dodges a karate chop from a brown, land squirrel, from "[[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]]", smokes a bubble pipe, from "[[Grandma's Kisses (Episode)|Grandma's Kisses]]", sheds a layer of his skin, from "[[F.U.N. (Episode)|F.U.N.]]", floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from "[[Naughty Nautical Neighbors (Episode)|Naughty Nautical Neighbors]]", a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from "[[MuscleBob BuffPants (Episode)|MuscleBob BuffPants]]", he lies in bed next to an turquoise octopus, from "[[Home Sweet Pineapple (Episode)|Home Sweet Pineapple]]", scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto Mrs. Puff, from "[[Boating School (Episode)|Boating School]]", rocks out, from "[[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]", plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from "[[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]]", shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from "[[Nature Pants (Episode)|Nature Pants]]", does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand of the octopus, from "[[Reef Blower (Episode)|Reef Blower]]", wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by the octopus, from "[[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]". An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)

'''Patchy''': I don't believe I lost the Lost Episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.

'''Potty''': What about your leg?

'''Patchy''': Well, yeah, but...

'''Potty''': And your eye.

'''Patchy''': Well, the eye, I...

'''Potty''': And your hand.

'''Patchy''': And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! (shoos Potty away) Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is. (a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits him. Mutters gibberish and then falls over)

'''Potty''': What is it? Brawk!

'''Patchy''': Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Lost Episode of SpongeBob I lost!

'''Potty''': It's a dream come true!

'''Patchy''': (giggles) We gotta go find it, Potty! (shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps) Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. (grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg) Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! (runs down the steps, along with Potty)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting) Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. (walks past the woman's house)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Would you boys like some cookies?

'''Patchy''': Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. (continues walking)

'''Mrs. Johnson''': Okay, don't catch a cold.

'''Patchy''': Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. (looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree) Half a league to the forked tree. (looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it) Oh! (stands somewhere else, looking at the map) Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! (lowers the map and sees a playground full of children) Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!!! (runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse) AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! (goes up and down on a see-saw) Whoa!!! Whoa! (slides down a slide with his hands up) YAHHHHH!!! (hits the ground) Ow! (gets spun around on a merry-go-round) AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back) Ahh... Ahh... Ah! (inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him) AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (gets pushed on the swing by a little girl) AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! (the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand) We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode! (laughs) Dig it, get it? (laughs some more)

'''Potty''': (covered in sand) You stink!

'''Patchy''': And I just got out of the shower. (laughs again. Sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something) Hey Potty, I think I hit something. (camera zooms out. A large treasure chest sits in the sand) Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (opens the chest. A golden glow shines from it) This is it! (a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape. Patchy takes it. The man cups his hands) I don't know what it means either. (slams the top of the chest on the man) But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. (runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again. Runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up) Yeah!!! Popcorn. (slams a bag of popcorn down on the table) Soda. (puts a cup of soda on the table) Pickled garlic! (puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things. Runs and sits down) Potty, hit the remote!

'''Potty''': (drops an egg that hits the remote) Brawk! (the VCR turns on)

'''Patchy''': (grabs the popcorn) This is gonna be great! (a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen) I can't believe it. More SpongeBob! (starts eating the popcorn. The countdown makes its way down to five) This so exciting! (laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere. The countdown ends) Here it comes!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Pipe down! ("Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen. The Sponge is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background. His body squishes up, then returns to normal. Then, his body extends and his arms flail around. He returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. Then, once again, he squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. He starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right. He extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around. Then, he begins frantically running again. His limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head. He begins walking normally again. "Walk Cycles" ends. A test card is shown while a 1050 Hz tone comes from the TV. Patchy stares blankly for a moment)

'''Patchy''': That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!

'''Potty''': What a rip!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)

'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead!

'''Announcer''': (on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "SpongeBob SquarePants Episode 118 The Real Lost Episode") ''And now, the real Lost Episode!''

'''Potty''': Brawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!

'''Patchy''': (opens the door) Really? (shuts the door, then reenters again, quickly reversing what he did earlier. Sits back down) Hooray! Let's watch!

(title card and opening credits play. The episode proper begins in the Jellying Fields)

'''French Narrator''': ''Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter.'' (The Sponge stands completely still at the top of a hill, holding his net) ''He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security.'' (a jellyfish swims right by him) ''And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.''

'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': (puts on his safety glasses, turns into a spring and bounces after the jellyfish. Stops in midair and looks down) Huh? (stretches out and starts falling downward, now in normal form) AHHHHHHHHH!!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (separates into seven smaller SpongeBobs, who all run away and then join back together, except for one, which SpongeBob catches and places in an open space on his backside. Wipes the sweat off his forehead) Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish. (salutes a jellyfish that buzzes over his head) Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty. (a jellyfish floats up and down above SpongeBob's palm. Music begins to play as a microphone lowers in front of him. Clears his throat)

'''Music:''' "[[I Wish, I Could Fly]]"

If only I could join you there in the air
Floating free without a care
I wish I could fly
And see things with a different eye

(SpongeBob's two eyes combine into one big eye. The camera zooms into it and his pupil becomes him flying through the sky)

I would fly so very high and touch the sky

(he flies through a crowd)

And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly

(the blue sky backdrop turns back into Jellyfish Fields, and SpongeBob falls to the ground. He gets up)

'''SpongeBob''': Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants. (a thought cloud appears above SpongeBob's head. SpongeBob's grandfather is inside of it)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': (in SpongeBob's thought cloud) If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs. (the cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': (snaps) I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob working on building a plane outside of a barn. A pink starfish walks up to him)

'''Patrick Star''': What's that contraption, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': That, Patrick, is a flying machine. (Patrick laughs) What's so funny?

'''Patrick''': Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. (a thought cloud appears over his head. Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again)

'''Grandpa SquarePants''': If we were meant to fly, uh... hey, I'm not your grandfather! (pokes Patrick in the head with his cane. The thought cloud disappears)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, here I go, Patrick! (runs to the front) I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! (spins the propeller around) Landing gear... (kicks the tire) check! Complimentary peanuts... (holds up a bag of peanuts) check-a-roo. (hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on) Ready for takeoff! (pushes a handle forward. The plane starts up, then comes to pieces. The propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm. Sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick)

'''Patrick''': You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!

'''SpongeBob''': Don't remind me.

'''Farmer Jenkins''': (runs up) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! (Patrick and SpongeBob run away)

'''Patrick''': We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food! (bubble-wipe to Patrick standing in front of his rock, looking dumb. SpongeBob runs up with blueprints in his hand)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... (blows raspberries. Bubble-wipe to him standing on the top of a cliff in a rubbery bat costume) This one's gonna fly! (stretches out the wings. The camera focuses on SpongeBob's butt, which is sticking out more than ever) I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?

'''Patrick''': (at the bottom of the cliff) Ready!

'''SpongeBob''': (jumps and starts flapping his wings. Starts gasping) It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm... (ceases to fly) ...falling!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (Patrick runs over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, holding a clipboard, and Patrick, walking)

'''SpongeBob''': This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly!, Be hold (walks up to a lawn chair with two balloons attached to it and a brick sitting on it)

'''Patrick''': Oh boy, a birthday party!

'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three. (goes over and picks up the brick) All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and... (turns around and realizes that his invention is no longer there) Huh? (looks up and sees it flying away) Well, back to the drawing board.

'''Patrick''': Can we have the cake now? (singing) Happy, happy birthday to you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, attached to a red kite, which is attached to a bicycle that Patrick is on)

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, get ready to say "Eureka!"

'''Patrick''': Okay!

'''SpongeBob''': Go!!! (Patrick starts pedaling. Lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air) It's working! I'm flying! (flies past three fish on the side of the road)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite!

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Nancy''': Oh my goodness...

'''Fred''': Why's he doing that?

'''Cap Fish''': He'll fall and break his...

'''Nancy''': Can you see from up there?

'''SpongeBob''': Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you. (suddenly, the kite snaps on him and falls out of the sky) D'oh! (Patrick keeps pedaling as SpongeBob repeatedly hits the ground behind him) Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! (the three fish crack up. Bubble-wipe to the Barg'n Mart. SpongeBob is standing at the cash register in front of Vendor. Puts the shredded kite on the counter) Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite.

'''Vendor''': Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! (holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly")

'''SpongeBob''': "Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs too!

'''Vendor''': No they didn't.

'''SpongeBob''': (raises his fist) You'll see. (walks outside, and past Monroe and his mother)

'''Monroe''': Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.

'''Mother''': Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs.

'''Monroe''': Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! (makes flapping motions. He and his mother laugh cruelly. SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish)

'''Cap Fish''': Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?

'''Nancy''': Maybe he's looking for a statue to '''poop''' on.

'''Fred''': (steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs)

'''SpongeBob''': Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! (two fish holding babies stand to the side of him)

'''Mother #2''': You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?

'''Stubble Fish''': I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. (looks at his hands)

'''Fish''': We all had dreams.

'''Nancy''': What makes you so special? (the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches)

'''Mob''': Let's get him!

'''SpongeBob''': (the mob chases him. Starts panting, then stops) Huh? (camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff. Falls down) AHHHHH!!!

'''Fish''': Good riddance, dreamer!

'''SpongeBob''': AHHHHH!!! (lands in a Mud Removal truck) Ooh! (the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling) Well, it can't get any worse. Doh! (lands in a Feather Delivery truck. Sticks his head, which is now covered with feathers, up) I guess I spoke too soon. (the scene freezes)

'''French Narrator''': ''Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned.'' (fade to black. Fade back in on SpongeBob, with a towel wrapped around his body and the top of his head, looking out the window at the jellyfish flying by)

'''SpongeBob''': There they go again, Gary. (sighs) I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. (takes off his towel, under which is his underwear, and tosses it away) Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. (grabs his pants and puts them on) Back to reality. (walks over to the sink. a blue snail follows)

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': No, Gary, my dreams are silly. (takes the towel off of his head. Grabs a comb and blow-dryer and starts brushing and drying his spongy hair. The phone rings. Sticks the blow-dryer partially in his pants and answers the phone) Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? (the blow-dryer starts to inflate his pants) No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. (Gary retreats inside his shell) I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible. (floats upward and hits the ceiling) I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! (pulls the blow-dryer out of his pants) I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come! (the top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it)

'''Monroe''': (points) Mom, look! It's the flying guy!

'''Mother''': Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all. (SpongeBob is flying over the town)

'''Music:''' "[[He's Flying]]"

'''SpongeBob''': I'm flying! I'm flying!

(Cap Fish pops up)

'''Cap Fish''': He's flying!

(a guy pops out the window)

'''Fish''': He's flying!

(the old woman fish pops up)

'''Citizens''': He's really, really flying!

(Nancy opens her door. Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm)

'''SpongeBob''': They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.

(the Old Woman Fish stands next to a blue fish with balloons. An aqua fish stands next to another older fish. A business fish and the vendor pass by)

'''Citizens''': But now he's flying.

(SpongeBob passes over them)

He's flying high in the sky.

(Johnson drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene)

'''SpongeBob''': I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.

(takes off)

But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!

(passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble)

Roads and streets are not for me.

(passes over an intersection with a stoplight)

'''Mrs. Poppy Puff''': Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl. (takes a deep breath) But now it looks like the end of her world. (the tree branch holding the snail snaps off) NO!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob''': (catches the snail) Gotcha! (laughs. Hands the snail to Mrs. Puff) Next time, try the elevator. (flies off)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Thank you, Bird Man! (SpongeBob flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him. He flies up to a plane, in which Fred is sitting, among others)

'''SpongeBob''': I have never felt so free!

(Fred looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment)

High in the sky is the place for me.

(flies away. Fred pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily)

Helping friends from up above.

(SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him. Sprinkles drop down over a group of children. Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust)

These are the things that I love!

(picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in a red crab's hand)

I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.

'''Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs''': I'm rich! (Patrick stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick. SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air)

'''SpongeBob''': And I'll save Patrick from this mime!

'''Patrick''': Thanks, buddy! (SpongeBob flies over to a kelp bush)

'''SpongeBob''': Even Plankton needs some help,
when he gets tangled in the
ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!

(inside the bush, a deep green planktonic copepod is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp. SpongeBob lifts him up)

'''Plankton''': Please put me down!

("He's Flying" ends. Cut to the Bikini Bottom News, where a Realistic Fish Head is reporting)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. (cut to Tom, wearing a bad hairpiece)

'''Tom''': He found my hair piece! (cut to a little boy fish)

'''Boy''': He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people.

'''Realistic Fish Head''': (back at the desk) Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next? (cut to a foggy night at Goo Lagoon. The lighthouse is shining its light around, when suddenly, it goes out. Johnson and an old fish run up)

'''Johnson''': Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (drives through the fog in a boat on the lagoon) I'm glad I gave up farming!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down) I'm coming! (takes out the old light bulb and reaches behind his back to get a new one. Screws it in and flips the switch. It turns on and Sailor Jenkins turns back around. A crowd of people run up, cheering)

'''Johnson''': Thanks, mysterious flying man!

'''Sailor Jenkins''': (slams into a large rock in the middle of the lagoon. His boat starts to sink) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!

'''SpongeBob''': (walking away, with his pants deflated, brushing his hands off) That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (runs up) SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!

'''SpongeBob''': But Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality. (starts to walk away)

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, it's an emergency!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and inflates his pants) Let's roll! (flying through the sky with Mr. Krabs in his arms) Where to, Mr. K?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh... my garage.

'''SpongeBob''': You've got it! (lands next to Mr. Krabs' garage) What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs

'''Mr. Krabs''': Are you sure you're up for it, boy?

'''SpongeBob''': I think my pants can handle it.

'''Mr. Krabs''': I need you...

'''SpongeBob''': (anxiously) Yes?

'''Mr. Krabs''': To clean...

'''SpongeBob''': Clean up crime?

'''Mr. Krabs''': My garage.

'''SpongeBob''': (his pants deflate) That's your emergency?

'''Mr. Krabs''': But SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!

'''SpongeBob''': (crosses his arms) All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors! (inflates his pants again. Bubble-wipe to later. Flies out of the garage, finished with the job) All done, Mr. Krabs.

'''Mr. Krabs''': (sunbathing) And the recyclables?

'''SpongeBob''': Aw, shrimp. (turns around and reenters the garage. Bubble-wipe to even later. Flies away) Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!

'''Patrick''': (off-screen) SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick's in trouble.

'''Patrick''': (lying on his back in the street) SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (flies down to him) What is it, buddy?

'''Patrick''': Will you scratch my tummy? (SpongeBob gets annoyed but does it anyway) Ah... (a montage begins)

'''Larry the Lobster''': Help me pick out a tie? (holds out three different colored ties. SpongeBob picks one)

'''Squidward Tentacles''': Clean my bathtub? (SpongeBob unwillingly obeys)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Balance my checkbook? (SpongeBob scribbles in her checkbook)

'''Plankton''': Help spread the word of evil? (SpongeBob hands out newspapers with the headline "EVIL" on them)

'''Hat Fish''': Untangle my phone chords?

'''Cap Fish''': Do my geometry?

'''Nancy''': Talk to my plants!

'''Gray Fish''': Rub my scalp? (SpongeBob rubs the man's scalp) Mmm... oh yeah!

'''SpongeBob''': (stops and starts flailing his arms) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are.

'''Gray Fish''': But, we went to elementary school together.

'''SpongeBob''': Dennis? (starts rubbing his scalp again)

'''Dennis''': Mmm... oh yeah! (bubble-wipe to a crowd of fish searching for SpongeBob)

'''Cap Fish''': SpongeBob!

'''Monroe''': Hey SpongeBob!

'''Fred''': SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': (hiding behind a rock) If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. (quietly flies away)

'''Monroe''': Hey! There he is! (SpongeBob flies faster) He's getting away!

'''Light Purple Fish''': No! He owes us favors!

'''Monroe''': Get him!!! (the angry crowd, including Mrs. Puff, Squidward and Larry, chases after him into Downtown Bikini Bottom. While SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building. They stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob keeps flying)

'''SpongeBob''': I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!

'''Johnson''': He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (off-screen) I'll take care of this!

'''Crowd''': It's Cannonball Jenkins!!!

'''Cannonball Jenkins''': (inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit. Launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob. Collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode. The two hurtle toward the ground. SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute) I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! (the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground. They walk over)

'''Fred''': What have we done? (starts to cry) Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. (picks up the pants) A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. (the crowd leaves. SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness)

'''SpongeBob''': Well, it was fun while it lasted. (walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away) I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. (sighs. Starts to raise up in the air. A group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up) Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... (the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom; singing)

'''Music:''' "[[All You Need is Friends to Fly]]"

You don't need a plane to fly,

(Johnson looks out the window at him)

Plastic wings may make you cry,

(a flock of scallops fly by)

Kites are made for windy days,

Lawn chair with balloons... fly away...

(the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as they mourn over them)

Inflatable pants... you may as well skiiiiip...

(arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground)

If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship.
Yeah.

(the jellyfish buzz away. SpongeBob waves)

'''SpongeBob''': Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.

'''Patrick''': (walks up) Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.

'''SpongeBob''': No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. (opens his door)

'''Patrick''': Suit yourself. (lifts up his arm and flies away)

'''SpongeBob''': (turns back around) Did Patrick just...? (laughs) Nah! (enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure. Fade back to Patchy's house)

'''Patchy''': Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?

'''Potty''': Let's watch it again.

'''Patchy''': (chuckles) That's a great idea, Potty. (looks on the table) Where's the remote? (continues searching) Where's the remote? (stands up) Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... (a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head) Eh... (falls to the floor)

'''Potty''': Brawk!

'''Patchy''': (stands back up and drops the brick on his foot. He is now holding his remote) My remote! (goes to the window) Thanks, stranger!

'''Mrs. Johnson''': (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)

'''Patchy''': Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV) Doh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Let me do it!

'''Patchy''': No, get away! (the lights go out) That's the light switch! Gimme that. Gah! (the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a Spanish mariachi band pops up from behind the couch)

'''Potty''': Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!

'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... I hate technology!!! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Patchy continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)

'''Potty''': Brawk! Failure ahoy! 

'''Patchy''': No! (tries to stop the tape from spewing out) Stop! STOP!!! Oh, blasted infernal machine! (gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling) Oh no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!

'''Potty''': Brawk! Lost forever!

'''French Narrator''': ''Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds.'' (a SpongeBob constellation appears over Patchy's house) ''Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.''

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
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